For days now, there have been rumors that Eddie Murphy was the leading contender to host the 2012 Oscars. After this previous year’s hosts – Anne Hathaway and James Franco – a steady, professional, ADULT hand on the Oscar till would be welcome, which is why my immediate reaction was “happy!” when I heard the news confirmed, that Eddie would be hosting the next ceremony. But is Eddie up for it? Many people don’t think he is, and they point to his current trend of family-oriented, mainstream, dumbed-down comedies as supposed “evidence” that he’ll be bad at the job. To which I say: BITCH PLEASE.

Now, I’m not saying that Eddie is the most obvious choice, or that it’s a sure thing that he’ll be good. Eddie got the gig because Brett Ratner, a hack director who has had enormous financial success doing the whole “dumbed down” thing, is producing this year’s telecast. But for all of Brett Ratner’s fault, he likes and appreciates “old Hollywood” and mainstream, crowd-pleasing, big-“get” awards shows. My guess is that Ratner will put a lot of energy into getting GOOD, interesting, quality people to the awards show as presenters, and then they’ll just let Eddie do his thing.

So, back to Eddie and how he’ll do. The old Eddie, the Beverly Hills Cop/Raw-version of Eddie would never be asked to host the Oscars. He would only be asked to host the MTV Movie Awards, which Eddie did do, and he was a great host. For all of the Norbit jokes you throw at Eddie, he’s a pro. He knows how to handle himself, he knows how to improvise, he knows how to command a room, and he knows how to entertain. I’m not a fanatical Eddie apologist, although I will admit to carrying a childhood crush on him into my adulthood. But come on, haters: even you bitches have to admit, when Eddie is on it, he’s really, really good.

And you know what? James Franco set the bar so low, all Eddie has to do is show up, and he’ll be worlds better.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

This week’s National Enquirer has a story about the pitfalls of living large. Eddie Murphy’s ex wife Nicole is deep in debt after blowing the $15 million settlement she received from Eddie when they divorced in 2006. This sounds like those lottery winners that waste all their money and end up destitute. Here’s the Enquirer’s story, which includes details about Nicole’s bad investments and tax debts.

Eddie Murphy’s ex wife Nicole has blown her massive $15 million divorce settlement in just four years – and now she’s millions of dollars in debt.

What’s more, the IRS has slapped her with five tax liens totally $846,630, and she has put her opulent mansion up for sale.

When Nicole divorced Eddie in 2006 after 13 years of marriage, she chose to take a one-time payout from the comedian of $15 million, instead of monthly alimony. But in a shockingly short span of time, she’s managed to lose all of it.

“Nicole made some bad investments with the fortune she got from Eddie, and now she is in serious financial straits,” said a friend of the 42-year-old stunner.

Court records show that the IRS slapped Nicole with two liens for back taxes in November totaling $214,688.

That huge bill was on top of outstanding judgments against her for nearly $600,000 by a legal firm and another $60,000 demand for payment by a landscaping company. She also owes $5 million on her Los Angeles-area home.

“Nicole is overwhelmed by the mountain of debt she has piled up,” added the source. Nicole, who has five children with Eddie, invested in an Internet jewelry business, but the venture quickly failed and Nicole lost most of her money.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, January 3, 2011]

It seems like Eddie Murphy is the Enquirer’s gleeful source, as the article goes on about what a generous person he is and how he “lavishes the kids with gifts and gives them anything they want or need.” Nicole also gets child support payments which are surely enough for most of us to live very comfortably on. (Eddie pays $51,000 a month for just one child with Melanie B., Angel Iris, 3.) It’s not surprising to hear that a woman naive enough to marry Eddie Murphy would end up wasting her money and making bad investments. From the looks of her, Nicole’s plastic surgeon is getting
a good chunk of that money. This story reminds me of Heather Mills and how she frittered away her $50 million divorce settlement in less than two years.

In related debt news, Pamela Anderson owed an additional $180,000 to the state of California on top of the nearly $500,000 tax lien they filed against her last year. Her people told TMZ that it was a misunderstanding and that the taxes have been paid. Entitled rich people and their ridiculous problems.

I am from a generation that knows Bronson Pinchot as two characters: the hilarious art gallery manager in Beverly Hills Cop and Balki, the happy-go-lucky comic relief on the hit 1980s show Perfect Strangers. As it turns out, Bronson has had a pretty steady career as an in-demand character actor for 25 years, working with such superstars as Tom Cruise (Ricky Business), Denzel Washington (Courage Under Fire), and Eddie Murphy (Beverly Hills Cop). The last decade, Bronson has worked mainly in television, and I remember he’s sketchy role as some sleezeball on Law & Order: Criminal Intent a few years ago.

Character actors don’t get enough love, so The Onion’s AV Club decided to do a lengthy interview with Bronson. They got him to dish the dirt on some of his former costars, and he’s got a lot to say:

BP on Risky Business and Tom Cruise:
We didn’t know it was going to be a big hit. We thought Tom [Cruise] was the biggest bore on the face of the Earth. He had spent some formative time with Sean Penn—we were all very young at the time, Tom was 20, I was 23. Tom had picked up this knack of calling everyone by their character names, because that would probably make your performance better, and I don’t agree with that. I think that acting is acting, and the rest of the time, you should be you, but he called us all by our character names. He was tense and made constant, constant unrelated homophobic comments, like, “You want some ice cream, in case there are no gay people there?” I mean, his lingo was larded with the most… There was no basis for it. It was like, “It’s a nice day, I’m glad there are no gay people standing here.” Very, very strange.

Years and years later when people started to torment him with that, I used to think “God, that’s really fitting, because he tormented a lot of people as a 20-year-old.” He made such a big deal about it. Same thing with Eddie Murphy—I remember somebody calling and saying, “You’ll never guess who was just caught with a transvestite!” [Laughs.] And I remember thinking that seemed fitting, because there are certain people in showbiz who make it an agenda, every third sentence has to have something knocking that life choice, and you think, “What are you doing?” Like, these women came up to me in a restaurant—I was wearing a bright red shirt, and I was with some friends, and they said, “Would you like to join our club? We wear red.” What kind of choice is that? If you spent many years in the theater, and then you show up in movies, and people have on their to-do list for the day that they’re going to make a comment every third sentence, it strikes you as very strange. I just thought it was very funny that years later, that became his bugaboo. Which is a nice 1930s term I thought you’d enjoy.

I thought the movie would disappear. It just goes to show you, I obviously don’t have the antennae for that. I didn’t see it at all, but neither did any of the actors. All of the actors who talked about him were like, “What is this guy all about?” And you know, honestly, I never got it, and I don’t get it to this day. But it was his breakout film. He always talked about himself like he was a mega-superstar; that was weird, too.

BP on Denzel Washington and his “burning ambition”:
It’s just a different kind of animal, like a racing greyhound versus a mutt that sits in your lap. I guess I’m a mutt that sits in your lap. I don’t know what that is, but I’ve seen it many times. I think Denzel Washington has it—he’s one of the most unpleasant human beings I’ve ever met in my life, but he’s this mega-superstar.

BP on Tom Hanks:
He is a wonderful and genuine and lovely and down-to-earth person. I don’t know how he does that. I first met him when he was doing his spate of not-successful movies. There was a period in the ’80s when he did The Man With One Red Shoe and Joe Versus The Volcano and all those movies that weren’t doing well, and that’s when I first met him, and I would run into him on and off over the years. Then two years ago, I did a play with his wife, and there he was at his absolute height. He’s always been a delightful person, so it’s not really true that big stars need to be driven and repulsive, because he’s anything but.

BP on working with Denzel Washington in Courage Under Fire:
That was a low point, because Denzel Washington was behind the incredibly cowardly bullshit of “This is my character, not me.” He was really abusive to me and everybody on that movie, and his official explanation was that his character didn’t like me, but it was a dreadful experience. I spent my salary on time with my shrink just for helping me get through it, and what that led to was the very next big movie that I did. I should have said to the producers, “You get that guy in line, or I’m out of here.” Life’s too short.

[From The AV Club]

I’ll totally believe all of the Tom Cruise stuff. I love how Bronson makes it seem like no one liked Tom and they all thought he was a total dork. But isn’t it disappointing to hear that about Denzel Washington? I don’t want to believe that he’s a bastard. Anyway, the whole interview is an interesting read. Bronson is, after all, a Yale graduate who either f-cked or gotten high with everybody. Or both. So he’s got a lot of dirt to dish on. He should write a book.

There are people with gorgeous bodies who are still completely unappealing. A terrible personality can overshadow even a high level of attractiveness. All you’re left with is a bad mental aftertaste that makes any kind of fantasy involving the person impossible. Such is the case with Eddie “you’re being presumptuous” tranny-loving Murphy. He’s got a great body, but who really cares. I’d rather see/do/marry just about anyone that I’m not related to than consider getting with Eddie Murphy. I also heard his overinvolved live-in mother comes long with that fine but heavily tainted package, and there’s no way I’d want to get involved with that.

Murphy famously dismissed his then-pregnant then-girlfriend Melanie Brown by telling a Dutch interviewer in December, 2006 that it was “presumptuous” to assume Melanie B’s baby was his and adding “we’re not together anymore.” This was apparently news to Mel, who learned that she got dumped through the media by reading text messages from her friends asking about it.

Murphy then had some sort of commitment ceremony with his next girlfriend, who he most likely was cheating on Melanie with, Tracey Edmunds. They had a faux wedding on the island of Bora Bora in early 2008, but broke up just two weeks later, with People Magazine reporting that Eddie was yelling at Tracey multiple times in front of their guests. The National Enquirer said that the non-wedding was so bad “there were actual screaming matches between relatives.” At least Tracey got out before it was too late, but it’s unfortunate that she didn’t take a chunk of Murphy’s fortune with her.

After that relationship crashed and burned Eddie could have stepped up and tried to have a relationship with his daughter with Melanie Brown, Angel Iris Murphy Brown, now two, but as far as I can tell he’s never met her. He was ordered to pay $51k a month in child support in February of this year after DNA determined that Angel was definitely his biological daughter. He acknowledged that Angel was his daughter but doesn’t seem to want to see her at all. Murphy also has seven other children from three other women, including his ex wife.

So here’s Eddie Murphy strolling along the beach in Hawaii on Sunday, showing off his nice body. It’s too bad his head is attached to it.

Photo credit: Fame Pictures

Eddie Murphy might have finally learned a valuable lesson: it pays to be a gentleman.

The settlement will see Murphy shell out £35,000 ($US51,000)A MONTH until daughter Iris Angel turns 18 — a total of around £7 ($US10)MILLION.

We can also reveal that Eddie has finally agreed to see his 20-month-old child.

Spice Girl Mel and the Hollywood actor have spent 15 months warring in Los Angeles courts. She has been determined to force him to play a part in his child’s life.

Sources told News of the World that, under the terms of the deal, both have signed non- disclosure contracts preventing either from discussing the settlement in public.

But one of Scary Spice’s pals told us: “Mel is delighted that the case is over as she just wanted what was right for her girl.

“It was never about money — it was Mel’s way of asking Eddie to show consideration for Angel.”

News of the World

$51,000 a month is a lot of money, and Mel B, who is independently wealthy, probably wouldn’t have pushed for that much. For a start, if Eddie had joint custody of his daughter, that would have reduced the amount of the payments. They probably would have come to a reasonable, amicable arrangement. For example, P.Diddy pays his baby momma $21,782 a month child support, which was a record amount in New York State history. Diddy also pays for other expenses such as schooling, which he says adds up to approximately $120,000 a year.

If Eddie Murphy had behaved more like a gentleman, his career might have fared better also. His only significant movie since splitting with Mel B was Meet Dave. While his personal behavior probably can’t be directly linked with his box office performance, I think it does influence whether people want to work with you or watch you in a film. His award nominated role in Dream Girls should have launched a comeback for him.

Eddie famously tried to deny that baby Angel Iris was his daughter, demanding a paternity test on Dutch television.

Speaking of their split two years ago, Mel told OK! magazine: ‘We had talked about having a family and getting married. I came to see my mum for a few days as I wanted to see her in person. Then I got a flight home, landed and there is a whole sea of photographers.

‘There were people shouting about a DNA test. I was in complete shock. I tried to call Eddie and couldn’t get through. Then I got through and he said he would call me back and that was it. He never called back.’

Daily Mail

That makes a dumping by text message seem almost reasonable, doesn’t it?

Mel B, Angel Iris, and Mel’s husband, Stephen Belafonte, are shown out at the Grove on 7/1/08. Credit: WENN

Eddie Murphy and Melanie B’s daughter, Angel Iris, turns two in April. Eddie Murphy briefly dated Mel B in 2006. When she revealed that she was pregnant he refused to take responsibility for the baby until a DNA test proved he was father. While Eddie has paid court-ordered child support, he has yet to meet Iris:

“To see the kid, he’d have to see the mother,” a friend of the Norbit actor, 47 (who has five other children by his ex-wife Nicole Mitchell, and two from a previous relationship), tells OK!. “Maybe when she’s older, Eddie will see Angel, but not now.”

Mel, 33 (real name Melanie Brown), says, “I want Angel to know she has two parents who love her so much,” but the insider scoffs, “Mel’s a crazy woman. Eddie wants to stay far away from her.”

OK! Magazine

When Angel turned one Eddie said he wouldn’t see her because he was tricked in the pregnancy, and he didn’t want to see Mel B. The situation has since changed for both of them. Mel B has married her long time friend and music producer Stephan Belafonte, and Eddie Murphy was also briefly married to Tracy Edmonds, before refusing to legalize their Bahamas commitment ceremony, which lead to their split.

What I don’t understand is that Eddie already has 8 children, five with his former wife Nicole Mitchell and one each with Tamara Hood and Paulette McNeely. Presumably he likes children, and enjoys being a father, so why doesn’t he want a relationship with his daughter? Eddie and Mel do not need to see each other, he could have established a relationship with the child and avoided her mother for the most part. Why give up the joys of parenting, and cheat your children out of a sister, over a petty spat?

The good news is that Eddie and Mel seem to understand that their daughter won’t wait for them to grow up and behave like adults, and they are said to be coming to a ‘secret’ arrangement regarding visitation rights.

Eddie Murphy is shown out getting coffee in Studio City, CA on 11/7/08. Melanie Brown is shown out with her husband Stephen Belafonte, and her two daughters, Phoenix Chi, almost 9, and Angel Iris Murphy Brown, nearly 2, in LA on 12/23/08. Credit: Fame

I don’t think I’m the only one to hope this is just a baseless rumor. The next “Batman” sequel in the new franchise has been languishing since the unexpected death of Heath Ledger. Clearly, the filmmakers couldn’t simply recast the role, so they decided to go in a different direction and explore other Batman villains. And entirely – and quite possibly crappy – direction. Names are being tossed around for the roles of The Riddler (previously played by Jim Carrey is the craptastic “Batman Forever”) and Catwoman (played so brilliantly by Michele Pfeiffer in “Batman Returns”), and some of these names are just mind boggling. Top of the list: washed-up comedian Eddie Murphy as The Riddler. I know!

FUNNYMAN EDDIE MURPHY will play The Riddler in the next Batman movie, The Sun can reveal.

The Beverly Hills Cop star, 47, has been signed up by British director CHRISTOPHER NOLAN to reprise the role played by JIM CARREY in 1995’s Batman Forever.

The surprise move follows speculation linking Pirates of the Caribbean star JOHNNY DEPP to the part.

The film, set for a 2010 release, is being developed under the working title Gotham.

Execs have also signed up rising Transformers star SHIA LABEOUF, 22, to play Robin.

CHRISTIAN BALE will return as Bruce Wayne, while MICHAEL CAINE will again play Bruce’s assistant Alfred.

Meanwhile, Brit RACHEL WEISZ is said to be up for the Catwoman role.

Insiders also revealed to The Sun the flick will end on a cliffhanger over whether Batman survives a blast at Wayne Towers.

Nolan had been tight-lipped about the future of the Batman films after being rocked by the January death of HEATH LEDGER — tipped to receive a posthumous Oscar for his role as The Joker in Batman Returns.

A film insider said: “Chris wasn’t sure if he wanted to do another movie but as soon as he decided to, he got the wheels in motion.

“Eddie’s a fantastic addition. Everyone’s excited to see what he does as the Riddler.”

[From The Sun]

Please tell me this is all a joke. Aside from being occasionally funny as the voice of Donkey in the “Shrek” movies, I can’t think of a single decent movie Eddie Murphy’s been in since “Beverly Hills Cop.” He got some recognition for his role in “Dreamgirls,” but if you know his career, then you know that entire performance was just an extended version of his James Brown impersonation he used to do on SNL. And Shia LaBeouf as Robin? First of all, why does Robin even need to be brought into this new franchise? Robin is the lamest superhero character in the stratosphere. And LaBeouf is one of the most overhyped, overrated young actors in Hollywood. It sounds to me like Christopher Nolan went temporarily insane. Then again, what do I know – I was skeptical of Heath Ledger as The Joker when I first heard about him being cast. Maybe Christopher Nolan is some kind of directorial mad scientist. I guess we’ll have to wait until 2010 to know for sure.

Above: Eddie Murphy on the red carpet at the premiere of Good Luck Chuck last year. He looks about as confused as I was when I read that he was playing the Riddler. Photo credit: Bauergriffin. Below: the new face of Robin? Shia LaBeouf at the premiere of his film “Eagle Eye” earlier this year. Photo credit: WENN.

Just when I thought Eddie Murphy’s head couldn’t get any bigger, there’s a giant traveling Eddie Murphy head to publicize a movie about little people living inside Eddie Murphy’s (comparatively giant) head.

Across the nation, visitors to the traveling head, which weighs in at almost three tons and has been crossing the nation since June 13th, will have the opportunity to take photos inside of Dave’s ear (mirroring the image in the film’s current poster), then upload them onto the movie’s website. Using selected photos from the website, Twentieth Century Fox will create a mosaic version of the Meet Dave poster, which it will place in theaters across the country – where moviegoers can learn if they’ve made it into Dave’s Head.

[20th Century Fox via Comingsoon.net]

Now if only Hancock thought about this kind of promotional vehicle then I would be there!

According to ET Online and the movie’s co-star Gabrielle Union, “We play two-inch-tall people who have arrived to Earth in a vessel shaped as our captain, played by Eddie Murphy. So, there’s us little people inside a big Eddie.”

Amazingly enough Gabriel didn’t misspeak. According to the movie description that’s exactly what the film is about:

In the film, opening in theaters everywhere on July 11, Dave Ming Chang (Eddie Murphy), newly arrived in New York City, may be the ultimate fish out of water. There’s something about him that’s not quite right – for starters, he seems remarkably out of place and uncomfortable in his own body. And for good reason: “Dave” is not a man at all, but a ship made in the image of its miniature-sized captain. It’s Eddie Murphy in Eddie Murphy in Meet Dave. .

[From 20th Century Fox via Comingsoon.net]

A: “Something not quite right about?” You mean besides the concept of this movie? and “He seems remarkably out of place and uncomfortable?” You mean more than I am reading about this movie description or watching the trailer?

B: …so Gabrielle DID answer the question correctly? Ouch. Sorry, Gab. It just didn’t seem like it was an actual plot they would develop since Murphy’s last space adventure: The Adventures of Pluto Nash was as successful as The Golden Girls spin off: The Golden Palace.

I don’t think I’m ever gonna “meet Dave”, but if you’re considering it, let this trailer forewarn you:

Once the biggest box office draw in Hollywood, Eddie Murphy’s career over the last 10 years has been iffy at best. For every decent performance, like the ones he gave in “Bowfinger” and “The Nutty Professor,” there are 5 or six really horrible movies, such as “Norbit,” “Pluto Nash,” “The Haunted Mansion,” “Showtime,” and “Beverly Hills Cop 3.” If it weren’t for the “Shrek” movies, he’d have no successful films at all in the last decade. It looks like Eddie’s decided that film is no longer his medium of choice, anyway: the actor dropped some hints in a recent interview that he’s looking to get back into standup comedy instead.

Eddie Murphy has hinted he wants to retire from acting.

The ‘Beverly Hills Cop’ actor is considering returning to his previous career as a stand-up comedian.

He told US TV show ‘Extra’: “Thirty years and I have close to 50 movies and it is like, ‘Why am I in the movies? I’ve done that part now. I’ll go back to the stage and do stand-up.’ ”

Although Eddie, 47, confirmed ‘Beverly Hills Cop 4′ is in production, he admitted he didn’t want to do it because it “wasn’t ready to be done”.

The actor also confessed he isn’t a fan of ‘Beverly Hills Cop 3′ but was motivated to sign up to the sequel by the huge money on offer.

He said: “The third one was horrible, so I didn’t want to do another one.

“The producers wrote some s**t down on paper and I said, ‘Is this your phone number?’ and they said, ‘This is how much we’re going to pay you.’ I said, ‘Let’s go shoot it! I don’t care if the script isn’t right.’ ”

Meanwhile, ‘Beverly Hills Cop 4′ director Brett Ratner has hit out at reports that the movie will have a PG rating.

He said: “Don’t believe everything you read on the internet. Believe me, this is going to be a hardcore ‘R’ Beverly Hills Cop. I start shooting next year.”

[From Stv]

“‘This is how much we’re going to pay you.’ I said, ‘Let’s go shoot it! I don’t care if the script isn’t right.’” Well, he may be a money grubbing whore, but at least Murphy is honest about his motivation. I’ll bet that is the exact conversation that got Harrison Ford to do this last Indiana Jones movie. But I do have to wonder if Murphy could still cut it as a standup comedian after living the pampered Hollywood life all these years. Jerry Seinfeld tried it, and his new material just wasn’t the same. And something tells me that Eddie’s famous “She got half” routine just wouldn’t be as funny these days, what with a love child he doesn’t acknowledge and a wife of less than a week. And if he was only considering retirement before, perhaps after this latest movie, “Meet Dave,” comes out, he’ll really start looking into it. It looks like yet another steaming pile of turd.

Eddie Murphy is shown filming scenes in Santa Monica on 6/17/08, thanks to WENN.

If you have children, you were probably subjected to Nickelodeon’s 25th Annual Kid’s Choice Awards ceremony on Saturday night. You have my sincerest condolences. I, too, had to watch, and it was often eyeroll-inducing: lame banter between celebrity presenters; boring and unfunny “behind the scenes” skits; stupid slime stunts that dragged out the show even longer and wayyyy too much Disney product, in the form of Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers. Miley Cyrus won favorite female television star and favorite female musical artist, much to my daughter’s delight.

There were a few bright spots in the broadcast, including host Jack Black’s over-the-top opening musical number, in which he wore a bright green superhero costume and rocked out with a giant octopus playing guitar to the Kiss song “I Was Made for Loving You,” with the lyrics changed to “I Was Made for Sliming You.” (In my opinion, Black was the only funny, high-energy part of the show and should have been allowed to riff and get crazy even more.) The theme of each Kids’ Choice Awards, you see, is that celebs and kids in the audience get buckets of green slime poured on their heads at random moments. Slimed celebs included Harrison Ford, who recreated a famous scene from “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” which concluded with him being covered in green slime. Other mildly amusing segments included a celebrity belching contest that featured Jodie Foster attempting to burp along to the song “YMCA.”

All in all, the show had the same problems as most other awards shows: it went on too long, there was too much unfunny dialog, and the host didn’t get enough chances to do what he does best. But if you are at all interested in the winners, here they are.

Favorite TV Show: Drake and Josh
Favorite Reality Show: American Idol
Favorite TV Actor: Drake Bell (from Drake and Josh)
Favorite TV Actress: Miley Cyrus
Favorite Cartoon: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Favorite Movie: Alvin and the Chipmunks
Favorite Movie Actor: Johnny Depp
Favorite Movie Actress: Jessica Alba
Favorite Animated Movie: Ratatouille
Favorite Animated Voice: Eddie Murphy (Shrek The Third)
Favorite Music Group: The Jonas Brothers
Favorite Song: “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne
Favorite Female Singer: Miley Cyrus
Favorite Male Singer: Chris Brown
Favorite Male Athlete: Tony Hawk
Favorite Female Athlete: Danica Patrick
Favorite Book: Harry Potter Series
Favorite Video Game: Madden NFL 2008
Wannabe Award: Cameron Diaz

If anything, the Kids’ Choice Awards gives parents a glimpse into the music, movies, and other pop culture their kids like– which should scare the crap out of you. I know I had a hard time sleeping knowing that the youth of America wants to be just like Cameron Diaz.