Just when I thought Eddie Murphy’s head couldn’t get any bigger, there’s a giant traveling Eddie Murphy head to publicize a movie about little people living inside Eddie Murphy’s (comparatively giant) head.

Across the nation, visitors to the traveling head, which weighs in at almost three tons and has been crossing the nation since June 13th, will have the opportunity to take photos inside of Dave’s ear (mirroring the image in the film’s current poster), then upload them onto the movie’s website. Using selected photos from the website, Twentieth Century Fox will create a mosaic version of the Meet Dave poster, which it will place in theaters across the country – where moviegoers can learn if they’ve made it into Dave’s Head.

[20th Century Fox via Comingsoon.net]

Now if only Hancock thought about this kind of promotional vehicle then I would be there!

According to ET Online and the movie’s co-star Gabrielle Union, “We play two-inch-tall people who have arrived to Earth in a vessel shaped as our captain, played by Eddie Murphy. So, there’s us little people inside a big Eddie.”

Amazingly enough Gabriel didn’t misspeak. According to the movie description that’s exactly what the film is about:

In the film, opening in theaters everywhere on July 11, Dave Ming Chang (Eddie Murphy), newly arrived in New York City, may be the ultimate fish out of water. There’s something about him that’s not quite right – for starters, he seems remarkably out of place and uncomfortable in his own body. And for good reason: “Dave” is not a man at all, but a ship made in the image of its miniature-sized captain. It’s Eddie Murphy in Eddie Murphy in Meet Dave. .

[From 20th Century Fox via Comingsoon.net]

A: “Something not quite right about?” You mean besides the concept of this movie? and “He seems remarkably out of place and uncomfortable?” You mean more than I am reading about this movie description or watching the trailer?

B: …so Gabrielle DID answer the question correctly? Ouch. Sorry, Gab. It just didn’t seem like it was an actual plot they would develop since Murphy’s last space adventure: The Adventures of Pluto Nash was as successful as The Golden Girls spin off: The Golden Palace.

I don’t think I’m ever gonna “meet Dave”, but if you’re considering it, let this trailer forewarn you:

Once the biggest box office draw in Hollywood, Eddie Murphy’s career over the last 10 years has been iffy at best. For every decent performance, like the ones he gave in “Bowfinger” and “The Nutty Professor,” there are 5 or six really horrible movies, such as “Norbit,” “Pluto Nash,” “The Haunted Mansion,” “Showtime,” and “Beverly Hills Cop 3.” If it weren’t for the “Shrek” movies, he’d have no successful films at all in the last decade. It looks like Eddie’s decided that film is no longer his medium of choice, anyway: the actor dropped some hints in a recent interview that he’s looking to get back into standup comedy instead.

Eddie Murphy has hinted he wants to retire from acting.

The ‘Beverly Hills Cop’ actor is considering returning to his previous career as a stand-up comedian.

He told US TV show ‘Extra’: “Thirty years and I have close to 50 movies and it is like, ‘Why am I in the movies? I’ve done that part now. I’ll go back to the stage and do stand-up.’ ”

Although Eddie, 47, confirmed ‘Beverly Hills Cop 4′ is in production, he admitted he didn’t want to do it because it “wasn’t ready to be done”.

The actor also confessed he isn’t a fan of ‘Beverly Hills Cop 3′ but was motivated to sign up to the sequel by the huge money on offer.

He said: “The third one was horrible, so I didn’t want to do another one.

“The producers wrote some s**t down on paper and I said, ‘Is this your phone number?’ and they said, ‘This is how much we’re going to pay you.’ I said, ‘Let’s go shoot it! I don’t care if the script isn’t right.’ ”

Meanwhile, ‘Beverly Hills Cop 4′ director Brett Ratner has hit out at reports that the movie will have a PG rating.

He said: “Don’t believe everything you read on the internet. Believe me, this is going to be a hardcore ‘R’ Beverly Hills Cop. I start shooting next year.”

[From Stv]

“‘This is how much we’re going to pay you.’ I said, ‘Let’s go shoot it! I don’t care if the script isn’t right.’” Well, he may be a money grubbing whore, but at least Murphy is honest about his motivation. I’ll bet that is the exact conversation that got Harrison Ford to do this last Indiana Jones movie. But I do have to wonder if Murphy could still cut it as a standup comedian after living the pampered Hollywood life all these years. Jerry Seinfeld tried it, and his new material just wasn’t the same. And something tells me that Eddie’s famous “She got half” routine just wouldn’t be as funny these days, what with a love child he doesn’t acknowledge and a wife of less than a week. And if he was only considering retirement before, perhaps after this latest movie, “Meet Dave,” comes out, he’ll really start looking into it. It looks like yet another steaming pile of turd.

Eddie Murphy is shown filming scenes in Santa Monica on 6/17/08, thanks to WENN.

If you have children, you were probably subjected to Nickelodeon’s 25th Annual Kid’s Choice Awards ceremony on Saturday night. You have my sincerest condolences. I, too, had to watch, and it was often eyeroll-inducing: lame banter between celebrity presenters; boring and unfunny “behind the scenes” skits; stupid slime stunts that dragged out the show even longer and wayyyy too much Disney product, in the form of Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers. Miley Cyrus won favorite female television star and favorite female musical artist, much to my daughter’s delight.

There were a few bright spots in the broadcast, including host Jack Black’s over-the-top opening musical number, in which he wore a bright green superhero costume and rocked out with a giant octopus playing guitar to the Kiss song “I Was Made for Loving You,” with the lyrics changed to “I Was Made for Sliming You.” (In my opinion, Black was the only funny, high-energy part of the show and should have been allowed to riff and get crazy even more.) The theme of each Kids’ Choice Awards, you see, is that celebs and kids in the audience get buckets of green slime poured on their heads at random moments. Slimed celebs included Harrison Ford, who recreated a famous scene from “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” which concluded with him being covered in green slime. Other mildly amusing segments included a celebrity belching contest that featured Jodie Foster attempting to burp along to the song “YMCA.”

All in all, the show had the same problems as most other awards shows: it went on too long, there was too much unfunny dialog, and the host didn’t get enough chances to do what he does best. But if you are at all interested in the winners, here they are.

Favorite TV Show: Drake and Josh
Favorite Reality Show: American Idol
Favorite TV Actor: Drake Bell (from Drake and Josh)
Favorite TV Actress: Miley Cyrus
Favorite Cartoon: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Favorite Movie: Alvin and the Chipmunks
Favorite Movie Actor: Johnny Depp
Favorite Movie Actress: Jessica Alba
Favorite Animated Movie: Ratatouille
Favorite Animated Voice: Eddie Murphy (Shrek The Third)
Favorite Music Group: The Jonas Brothers
Favorite Song: “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne
Favorite Female Singer: Miley Cyrus
Favorite Male Singer: Chris Brown
Favorite Male Athlete: Tony Hawk
Favorite Female Athlete: Danica Patrick
Favorite Book: Harry Potter Series
Favorite Video Game: Madden NFL 2008
Wannabe Award: Cameron Diaz

If anything, the Kids’ Choice Awards gives parents a glimpse into the music, movies, and other pop culture their kids like– which should scare the crap out of you. I know I had a hard time sleeping knowing that the youth of America wants to be just like Cameron Diaz.

Eddie Murphy just cannot be anything other than a complete jerk when it comes to his baby daughter with Spice Girl Melanie Brown. Murphy has never seen little Angel Iris, and claims that he never will – at least until she’s much older and they can meet without any interference from Melanie. It seems to be more of a matter of principle than anything – Murphy claims he was tricked into the pregnancy. Supposedly Mel B told him she was on birth control – but let’s be real here, birth control is not 100% effective, so she may well have been on it. Anytime you have sex, you know a baby could still come out of it. What a lame way to try to make it sound like he’s not a total jerk. You are Eddie, you are.

The Nutty Professor star claimed 32-year-old Mel insisted she was on birth control, and revealed they only had sex three times, according to a US report. “What was supposed to be a casual relationship ended with her having his baby and taking him to court for millions,” a source told The National Enquirer.

Although Eddie accepts that Angel is his daughter, he has said that he won’t see the little girl, because he doesn’t want to set eyes on Mel. A source said: “He says he will have to wait until Angel is older before he can get to know her without any interference from her mother.”

Secrets behind the couple’s doomed three-month fling have been revealed in legal papers in which Eddie, 46, states that Mel allegedly asked him for a $9million (£4.5million) house, plus living expenses for 18 years in exchange for her silence while she was pregnant. But Eddie baulked at the demands and it is claimed he has since refused to see the baby and the Spice Girl.

[From the Daily Mail]

Something tells me that waiting to see Angel until she’s older (because of all those “interferences” by her mother) will present a million more problems than seeing her now. But it all works out well for Eddie, because those problems will all be Angel’s, not his. If Eddie sees her now, he has to deal with Mel B and all that drama. But if he avoids her, Angel gets to grow up knowing her dad doesn’t want to see her. So it’ll probably be easier on Eddie in the short run, and harder on Angel for the rest of her life. Awesome. I’m pretty sure Eddie Murphy may be one of – if not the – most selfish people in show business. And that’s saying something. Here’s to hoping he gets caught with another tranny hooker.

Here’s Melanie carrying daughter Angel Iris Murphy en route to her Newark, New Jersey concert on February 12th. Images thanks to Splash.

We’ve heard plenty of embarrassing stories about what went down in the bizarre pseudo-wedding ceremony between Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds. There have been several reports that their families bickered like crazy. The stories ranged from everything from their mothers going at each other to their kids bickering fiercely. According to the National Enquirer, Tracey and her family all thought they were better than the Murphy’s, and Tracey accused the entire family of being “too ghetto.”

“The families hated each other from the beginning,” a close family friend told The Enquirer. “There were actual screaming matches between relatives.” And it didn’t take long before both Eddie and Tracey were knee-deep in the fray. “Eddie told Tracey that she and her family should stop with the superior attitude, and she fired back criticizing his kin for being too ‘ghetto,’” continued the friend. “Eddie bit his lip thought the entire ceremony – he was steaming about the low blow.

[From the National Enquirer, print edition Feb. 4, 2008]

The Enquirer also says the real problem was Tracey’s money-grubbing family.

“The entire wedding was a fiasco, and it brought to light just how incompatible Tracey and Eddie really are.” Things went from bad to worse after the ceremony, when Tracey and her family members seemed more interested in striking business deals than the wedding, says an insider. “Her mother was pressuring Eddie to buy a new multimillion-dollar Malibu mansion with her as the Realtor – so she’d get the whopping commission. “Then her brother, who’s [sic] a rep for a watch company, put on a full-court press to get Eddie to serve as spokesman for his line.”

[From the National Enquirer, print edition Feb. 4, 2008]

Apparently the biggest problem was Tracey’s brother Michael. According to the anonymous insider, Michael brokered some deal with Jimmy Choo that required getting a bunch of pictures of the bridesmaids in Choo’s shoes, and Michael turned into a bit of a diva in his attempt to make sure the Choos got enough photos.

“Everyone in Tracey’s family, including Tracey, seemed to be trying to work a deal around the wedding and Eddie’s celebrity. And he saw greed instead of love,” said the insider, and eyewitness. “Tracey’s brother Michael was by far the worst of the group. He’d obviously cut a bunch of deals on the side. For instance, the bridesmaids were a walking advertisement for Jimmy Choo shoes. Michael was ordering the wedding photographer to make sure he got all the trademark clothing in the shots. And he was coaching the guests on how to pose in photos. Michael was saying: ‘The Choos! Remember to get the Jimmy Choos in the pictures or else we won’t get our free shopping spree!’” That was the final straw for Eddie.

[From the National Enquirer, print edition Feb. 4, 2008]

That sounds like a pretty contrived quote. “Remember to get the Jimmy Choos in the pictures or else we won’t get our free shopping spree!’” Who talks like that? I’m going to assume it’s paraphrased. Unless Michael was saying it in jest. Seriously, if that’s true it’s super tacky. The story is pretty biased towards Eddie Murphy, so it should all be taken with a gain of salt. Murphy has long been reported to be a domineering control freak, so I find it kind of hard to believe that he’s the innocent victim in all this. It sounds like he and Tracey were definitely a bad match. In the scheme of things, it sounds like they really narrowly avoided a big disaster. How much closer can you get than marrying the wrong person but not making it legal? According to E! News, Tracey’s been all over Sundance having a wonderful time. So it looks like everyone managed to escape unscathed.

Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds broke up just two weeks after their non-legally binding wedding ceremony in Bora Bora. People Magazine quotes a source as saying that Eddie was chewing Tracey out at their wedding in front of guests and that it was embarrassing for everyone to witness.

Not only were Eddie and Tracey not getting along after their expensive non-nuptuals, their mothers were fighting too. Eddie and Tracey’s family are said to have “hated each other on sight,” and their mothers supposedly refused to sit next to each other. They were even seen yelling and swearing at each other, each thinking the other’s offspring wasn’t good enough for their family:

Eddie, 46, and Tracey, 40, invited only family members and a few close friends to celebrate their union, “but it was as if their families hated each other on sight…”

Eddie’s mother felt Tracey was a “gold digger,” says the friend – and Tracey’s mother felt Eddie wasn’t “good enough” for her daughter.

“The mothers didn’t even want to sit next to each other – even to eat – and it led to both sides of the family squaring off.”

According to the source, the situation escalated from an uneasy tension to outright confrontation that included “yelling and cussing.”

And this was even before Eddie and Tracey took their vows!

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, January 28, 2008]

The Enquirer adds the gem that Eddie almost backed out of the wedding right before the ceremony and that he “pulled aside his best friend Johnny Gill in a panic and asked him if he was doing the right thing.” It looks like Eddie never really got over those cold feet, or maybe he listened to his momma. Eddie Murphy’s mom is said to live with him in his LA mansion and his breakup with the mother of his youngest child, Mel B, is partially attributed to her inability to get along with his live-in mother. It looks like Tracey dodged a bullet on that one. Maybe Eddie can ask his mommy to set him up next time so he’s sure to pick a woman she approves of.

Mike Walker’s column in the latest Enquirer states that guests at Murphy’s ceremony feel duped into thinking they were attending an actual wedding and asked the Norbit star to refund their vacation costs. Murphy said he would pay guests for their travel costs, which added up to over 100k.

Eddie and Tracey are shown on 12/11/06 at the Dreamgirls premiere, thanks to PRPhotos.

I saw this divorce coming, but I really thought it would take a few months, not just a few days. The miserable couple married on New Year’s Day in Bora Bora, where the ceremony was not legally binding, and planned on having a civil ceremony in the US to make the marriage official. Looks like those plans are on hold. Eddie’s rep released this statement:

“After much consideration and discussion, we have jointly decided that we will forego having a legal ceremony as it is not necessary to define our relationship further.

While the recent symbolic union in Bora Bora was representative of our deep love, friendship and respect that we have for one another on a spiritual level, we have decided to remain friends.”

TMZ

‘After much consideration.’ says Eddie and Tracy. What? You have been together just over a year, and married for only two weeks. That isn’t even trying. Unless you found a body in the basement, or another wife in the attic, how can you possibly get divorced after two weeks of marriage? And call the move considered?

Actually, the statement is slightly ambivalent. While reports say they are divorcing, are they actually separating, or just avoiding a civil ceremony in America that would make the marriage real? Perhaps they don’t feel the need for a legal ceremony, or no one is offering them money for a second lot of pictures. The statement says they want to remain friends, but doesn’t specify whether this is friends with benefits.

The couple didn’t live together before the wedding, so perhaps it’s just a simple case of not being able to live in the same house. Moving in together is a huge period of adjustment (that takes longer than two weeks, typically) that not all relationships survive. After all, she already knew about his previous use of transsexual prostitutes, and his failure to acknowledge his latest daughter. What was so awful it prompted a divorce?

Eddie Murphy’s New Year’s resolution seems to be a simple one – get married.

The Shrek star swapped vows with fiancée Tracey Edmonds Tuesday on a private island off Bora Bora, reps for the newlyweds confirmed to E! News.

The couple sealed the deal in “an intimate sunset ceremony” on the beach as 25 friends and family members looked on.

Edmonds was sheathed in a custom number by the tandem of Sugia Nazel and Jill Baracci, described in a statement as “off-white with a beaded French lace and silk tafetta ruffled train.”

E! News

Wow, Eddie Murphy still has 25 friends?

Still, the whole ‘not meeting my daughter’ thing now makes more sense. He’s clearly by far too busy with his wedding plans and moving his new wife into his home (they didn’t live together before the marriage) to see his latest progeny. Things are probably going to be busy for the newly married couple – he’s got five kids (plus Angel Iris, but she doesn’t count) and Tracy Edmonds has two children.

I’d love to predict that these two will be divorced in a few months, but what could possibly end this marriage? His wife has accepted the fact he’s fathered a child, tried to deny it, and then refuses to see her. What’s a little lyin’ and cheatin’ compared to that?

Congratulations to the happy couple. I hope that his new wife will prevent Eddie Murphy from making a sequel to Norbit.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds are shown at “Movie Rocks” on 12/2/07, thanks to PRPhotos. I love her dress but those implants are ridiculous.

Who knew Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds were so cute and old fashioned? The couple has proudly announced that they’re not moving in together until they get married… and what’s sweeter than that? I’m guessing it’s actually a ploy on Murphy’s part – it’s harder for Edmonds to leave him – which she’ll no doubt want to once she see that he runs his house like Captain Von Trapp – once they’re legally bound to one another. Not impossible, but definitely a bit more of a challenge. Murphy has been busy not acknowledging his daughter with Melanie Brown, and instead buying Edmonds an 8 carat engagement ring. Because why pay child support when you can have a giant, tacky piece of jewelry that takes two hands to lift? Ah, carpel tunnel, the gift that keeps on giving.

In a showbiz world of lightning-fast engagements, marriages and breakups, Tracey Edmonds and Eddie Murphy are taking it slow. “We haven’t moved in together yet. We’re waiting until we get married,” Edmonds told PEOPLE on Tuesday night at a launch party in Encino, Calif., for the new book Daughters of Men: Portraits of African American Women.

Edmonds, 40, and Murphy, 46, who got engaged in July, have been coy about a wedding date, and Edmonds reiterated on Tuesday, “I’ll just say it’s coming soon.” When they do move in together, it’ll be a busy house. Edmonds has two boys, and Murphy has five children with ex-wife Nicole Murphy and one with Spice Girl Melanie Brown. “I think it’s going to be fun for my kids, because it’s [been] just the three of us. If you come to my house, it’s very peaceful, very quiet, and I think it’s going to be fun for them to have other brothers and sisters to play with,” Edmonds says.

“The great thing is Eddie’s got beautiful, wonderful, smart, great children, and he’s a great father, so we’ve had a chance to all kind of spend a bit of time together.”

[From People]

Well to be fair, great fathers are known for refusing to even meet their new children. Tracey Edmonds makes me ill. She’s got that perpetual “deer caught in the headlights” expression and is so Pollyannaish. Considering how controlling and borderline tyrannical Eddie Murphy is supposed to be, they probably are actually a pretty good team. Now the whole “liking transvestites” thing might get in the way – but I’m sure Tracey can find a happy little excuse for that, too.

Well it’s been a little while since we’ve heard much about the bitterness that is the relationship between Melanie Brown and Eddie Murphy. Once in a while I’ll think about it, and then think about how I’d like to drop-kick his head. Then I remind myself that I’m not the ninja I like to think I am. Though I will admit I’m damn close. But it appears the two haven’t come any closer to an agreement regarding support for their daughter, Angel Iris. There’s really no talk of visitation, so it seems Murphy doesn’t want a thing to do with her – supposedly he hasn’t even bothered (or maybe been allowed to) meet Angel yet.

“Mel B and Eddie Murphy are headed to court again — this time in regard to child support for their 6-month-old daughter, Angel. The exes are scheduled for a Nov. 14 hearing in Los Angeles to iron out the dollars and cents. In June, DNA tests proved the Oscar-nominated star to be the father of Angel. Eddie had infamously and publicly questioned his paternity of the child, born on his 46th birthday, Apr. 3.

“Despite claims from Eddie, who has five children with ex-wife Nicole, that he has paid child support, the Spice Girl and Dancing With the Stars contestant, 32, insists that the star has not coughed up “one penny” and filed a lawsuit in July to legally establish paternity.”

[From OK magazine]

I really don’t understand what the hell Eddie Murphy’s problem is. But then again we’re not privy to the private legal workings behind the case. But I’m wondering why he thinks he has a leg to stand on – the kid has been proven to be his. I’m guessing the argument is not about child support in and of itself, but about how much child support he should have to pay. I feel so badly for their baby daughter. It’s hard to imagine that she’ll ever be able to have a loving, supportive relationship with her dad. I would hope that Eddie Murphy could put aside whatever his issues are with Melanie so that they can raise their kid together. But the guy is supposedly a crazy control freak and sort of a jerk, so I’m not holding my breath.