Hello, sailors! What a perfect way to start a morning. Here are George Clooney and Ewan McGregor at the photo call for Men Who Stare At Goats, which is getting its premiere at Venice. They’re both looking pretty hot, but I’m looking more at Ewan McGregor’s lovely jaw line and sexy smile. Sigh…so hot. I would love to be in Venice with Ewan and his crinkles.

George Clooney arrived at the Venice Film Festival on Monday, entering the city like some kind of conquering hero. Clooney was tended to by his new piece, Elisabetta Canalis. In most of the pictures of Elisabetta, she’s wearing loose, comfortable-looking summer dresses, so at least Clooney hasn’t pulled a Pretty Woman on her yet and made her deck out in Armani. In these pictures, I’m really seeing the whole thing about her being a budget Cindy Crawford – Cindy and Elisabetta could be sisters, they’re faces are so similar. What is it with George and his Cindy Crawford obsession?

According to IMDB, Men Who Stare At Goats is about: “A reporter, trying to lose himself in the romance of war after his marriage fails, gets more than he bargains for when he meets a special forces agent who reveals the existence of a secret, psychic military unit whose goal is to end war as we know it. The founder of the unit has gone missing and the trail leads to another psychic soldier who has distorted the mission to serve his own ends.” Clooney plays the special forces agent, McGregor plays the reporter. Oh, and Jeff Bridges is in it… and it looks like he’s channeling his Big Lebowski character! The film actually looks great, and it’s probably going to have some kind of Oscar campaign. I hope it does, if only to see Ewan McGregor on more red carpets. Hurray!

Here’s the trailer for Men Who Stare at Goats. It’s out in the US on 11/6/09:

I get that many of you don’t really care about George Clooney. It’s true that in the past few years he’s crossed over from “Hottest Hollywood Eligible Bachelor” to “Skeezy Pervert Who Should Grow Up”. That’s part of the reason I still like to write about him – how can a man be so utterly beloved by Hollywood and yet still maintain such a level of sleaze? Perhaps part of Clooney’s “jumping the shark” came with the whole Sarah Larson debacle. It was as if Clooney thought he could pass her off as some kind of legitimate waitress/model with a heart of gold, someone he might be willing to settle down with. That was good enough for People Magazine, who promoted Sarah and George as some kind of new golden couple. But I found the whole episode gross.

Moving on, we’re being sold a new version of Sarah Larson. Her name is Elisabetta Canalis, and she’s been George’s new piece for most of his Italian summer. We’ve been treated to puff pieces in most of the tabloids about how George has “fallen head over heels” for this “voluptuous Italian beauty”. Meanwhile, the few exposés on Elisabetta show a woman who is basically a (NSFW) pr0n actress. That’s how George likes them – so of course, he’s invited Elisabetta to move into his California abode.

George Clooney’s romance with Italian TV personality Elisabetta Canalis apparently isn’t just a summer fling. According to a friend, George is already thinking about what will happen when he goes home to LA – so he invited his 30-year-old girlfriend to move into his home in Studio City, CA.

“George is ready to live with Elisabetta,” his pal reveals. “She has some business to take care of, but has agreed to join George in California just as soon as she’s done with her own work.”

Elisabetta has already been spending lots of time at George’s villa near Italy’s Lake Como – where he lives most of the summer – and the lovebirds seemed to enjoy their days together there, motorcycling and boating in the seaside town of Laglio. They were even spotted sharing a late-night smooch.

But George will be back soon enough: after a short stay in LA, he’s returning to the Italian countryside in the fall to start production on his next film, A Very Private Gentleman.

“It’s all good because he is getting to spend a lot fo time with Elisabetta. He really like this girl,” says the pal. “She’s beautiful, smart and very nice. She may be the one he’s been looking for.”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition, September 7 2009]

I know I’m being judgy. I know I’m being prudish. Here’s the thing – if George wants his sleazy pieces, fine. That’s his business. But don’t try to pass her off like she’s some demure young thing, the perfect, classy, non-controversial arm candy of a Hollywood A-Lister. And don’t try to make us believe that she’s “one he’s been looking for.” We all stopped buying it a long time ago. At this point, I’m buying that George is into sado-masochism, and Elisabetta broke his hand for being a naughty, naughty boy.

George Clooney has been with his new Italian piece, Elisabetta Canalis, for about three weeks. For George, that’s what constitutes “a relationship”, considering most of his girls are around maybe one night at most. So, three weeks in and what do we have? Glowing reviews of the new girl, to the point where some (me) are already drawing comparisons with Elisabetta to Clooney’s last “relationship” with cocktail-waitress/ “model” Sarah Larson. Star Magazine has an absolutely glowing piece about Elisabetta this week, while In Touch seems concerned that Canalis has been stalking Clooney for the better part of two years:

Many women fantasize about dating George Clooney, but gorgeous Italian TV personality Elisabetta Canalis made hers reality – although it took her a couple of years.

According to Tuscany-born private chef Michele Gargani, Elisabetta has been after George since the summer of 2007. That’s when he sat at a table next to Elisabetta, 30, at All’Angelo in LA.

“Elisabetta was with a group of friends, and they were all speaking Italian,” Gargani tells In Touch. “She went on and on about how she loved being in Hollywood, but that her dream was to meet and date George Clooney.”

Gargani adds that when he asked Elisabetta to pose for a photo with him, she even asked if he knew the movie star! “It looks like she got her wish!”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition, August 17 2009]

It took me a second to figure out that “Michele Gargani” is a man’s name. So Elisabetta bet this man, Michele, and all she could do was talk about George Clooney (who she had never met) and how much she loves Los Angeles. I’m starting to get a sketchy vibe off this girl.

Star’s profile of Canalis is kind of grossly sycophantic. I definitely got queasy during parts of it, especially at the mention of Canalis “playing hard to get” (yeah, right) and how Clooney thinks she’s a “sexy tomboy” (code for “Clooney thinks her boobs need to be bigger”). Oh, and apparently her “best asset” is her “fiery spirit”. What do you want to bet that Clooney thinks Elisabetta’s best assets are her T&A?

Lavish dinners, breezy bike rides, cozy nights at his waterfront estate – George Clooney knows how to make a woman melt. And he’s currently pulling out all the stops for gorgeous Italian TV host Elisabetta Canalis!

“George thinks she’s amazing,” a pal tells Star. “She played hard to get at first, and he loved that.”

Not that hard, apparently. The two first met in late July at Rome’s Hotel Majestic, and were soon spotted sneaking kisses in an Eternal City eatery.

“Their passion set fire to the restaurant!” gushed Italian magazine Chi.

George, 48, then invited the brunette bombshell to his Lake Como villa, and they toured the area on his Harley.

It’s no wonder that the A-lister fell so fast for Elisabetta – she’s been called “the most beautiful woman in Italy” by Chi – and her 2003 topless calender was one of the country’s best sellers! Elisabetta’s fiery spirit may be her best asset. (She had a tempestuous four-year relationship with soccer star Christian Vieri.)

“George loves her accent and, of course, she’s hot,” says the pal. “But he also adores that she’s very adventurous. He calls her ‘a sexy tomboy’.”

Is it enough to convince the notorious ladies’ man to keep her around? “Look, George is a playboy. He loves women,” the pal admits. “He may be really into Elisabetta, but it’s tough to tie him down!”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, August 17 2009]

So I’ve revised my opinion about this girl – I think she’s going to be around long enough to be on Clooney’s arm throughout the fall. I’m not sure if she’ll make it to awards season, but she’s definitely putting her back into it, you know? Here’s hoping Elisabetta at the very least gets some new clothes out of the deal.

BauerGriffinOnline.

It looks like George Clooney’s new Italian piece is going to be sticking around for the long haul. And by “long haul”, I mean “until George Clooney buys her a new wardrobe, shows her off on a few red carpets, then unceremoniously dumps her two months from now”. The woman’s name is Elisabetta Canalis, and she’s a 30-year-old Italian actress and “television personality”. She’s also got something else going for her, and I’ve got two theories about what that mysterious other factor is. Either she’s great in bed, and Clooney has decided to keep her around for a while and make her legitimate with some well-placed press, or Elisabetta has a really good publicity team of her own, and she’s going to milk this “relationship” for all she can get out of it, press-wise.

Everyone has been groping around for older photos of her, while photo agencies are loving this week’s photos, like these, of Elisabetta in a skimpy bikini. She’s being described by some as a voluptuous Italian girl, but I don’t see it. Yes, she has an incredible body, but she’s not very curvy. I thought George liked them with bigger boobs? Anyhoodle, Radar has been running stories about Elisabetta all week. Just this morning, they put up a NSFW photo still from her 2007 film Virgin Territory. Guess what? Elisabetta is topless, in a nun’s headgear. Classy!

Meanwhile, People Magazine, the official record on all of the A-List celebrity stuff, decided to put up a profile of Elisabetta. To me, this means that she’s getting the Sarah Larson Treatment by George and by the press. “The Sarah Larson Treatment” is what I call George’s actions for the year (2007-08) he was “dating” (“paying”) Sarah Larson, a Las Vegas cocktail waitress/bartender/model/maybe-call-girl. Clooney legitimized her for a short time, classing her up with expensive frocks and modeling gigs, paying for a boob job and making sure she was on his arm at the 2008 Oscars. Behold, People’s Sarah Larson Treatment for Elisabetta:

The Italian showgirl Elisabetta Canalis, who was recently spotted on the back of George Clooney’s motorbike, has a warning for her lovers: They will have to share her bed with her dog!

Canalis is a well-known face on Italy’s TV screens and is now becoming famous around the world as the woman currently linked to the 48-year-old movie star. So who is she? The model and actress is a horse-loving 30-year-old known as “Eli” to her friends, as well as a former flame of top soccer stars.

“I have now become more fussy about who I date. And in any case my future boyfriend will have to share my bed with [her mini Doberman] Piero, too,” she recently told Italian magazine Tu. “Before in love I used to play much more, now I don’t want to waste any more time with wrong relationships. I just want someone who can make me find tranquility. I want to get home and find a person who can make me feel good.”

Canalis burst into Italian viewers’ consciousness on a satirical daily news show 10 years ago. She made her first appearance on Striscia la Notizia in 1999 as one of a duo of silent showgirls who danced around and carried the news reports.

After three years on the show, Canalis moved on to co-host a weekly soccer show, acted in some TV series, including comedy called LOVE BUGS and appeared in some Italian b-movies. Canalis also went on to do three topless calendars. And she was a roaring success. Her 2003 Max calendar was the best-seller of the season, according to an Italian publisher’s stats – and, according to rumors, the cause of her breakup with her boyfriend of three years, former soccer star Christian ‘Bobo’ Vieri.

Vieri isn’t her only footballer ex. She’s also been linked to Reginaldo and another handful of players, prompting some of the media to define her as a “serial soccer star dater.”

“Elisabetta is a beautiful girl full of life who embodies the Mediterranean woman: dark hair and a full figure. Elisabetta is a go-getter who is not afraid of expressing her opinion,” Alfredo Rossi, a journalist and friend, tells PEOPLE. “In a few years she has built a successful TV career thanks to her determination and hard work.” He adds that her biggest passions are horses and her dogs, Andrea, Piero and Vittorio, who lives at her family home in Sardinia.

And it sounds like she is ready for a longstanding relationship. On her private Facebook wall she writes, “I believe that the time has come to meet the love of my life.”

Clooney and Canalis met for the first time last week in Rome on the rooftop terrace restaurant of the Hotel Majestic, where the actor was dining with brothers Manuele and Michele Malenotti, owners of Belstaff, which Clooney has done ads for.

The couple spent a couple of days in Rome – with Clooney staying at the Hotel de Russie, a source confirms to PEOPLE – and Canalis, who lives in Milan, was photographed leaving the hotel on a number of occasions.

The Italian weekly magazine CHI, which is due out this week, reportedly has pictures of the pair kissing and hugging. The cover of the magazine has Clooney sitting with his arm around Canalis, who smiles as she leans back on to him in a cosy embrace.

Sources in Lake Como, where Clooney has a home, have confirmed that the pair have been out and about there too. They went to “Il Gatto Nero” (one of the his favorite haunts) and were seen having a drink at Harry’s Bar. The pair were also spotted – again on Clooney’s bike – in the center of Milan, where they stopped off at the Armani cafe.

[From People]

Isn’t this a bit gross? I tend to think this People piece was a plant by Clooney’s team, not Elisabetta’s. He must really like her – well, he likes her enough to keep her around for a short time. This week there were more George Clooney announcements. George is going to be bringing his drama Men Who Stare At Goats to the Venice Film Festival (in August), and will then bring his comedy Up In the Air to the Toronto Film Festival (in September). Many people are now thinking that George wants to have someone pretty on his arm for the festivals, and having some girlfriend will probably help promotes those films. The Sarah Larson Treatment, Redux.

Photo credit: Hector Vallenilla, Pacificcoastnews.com