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Feb 9
'12
Heidi Klum makes her first post-split red carpet appearance: busted or pretty?

I suspect that Lindsay Lohan’s crack-monster-face will completely eclipse all of the other fashion moments from the amFAR gala last night in NYC. To be fair to LL, she looked like such disastrous hell, everyone wants to talk about it. But to be fair to everyone else, there were some interesting fashion moments that weren’t related to Lohan. Let’s start with Heidi Klum in Roberto Cavalli. Cavalli was very popular last night – this post is devoted to ladies in Cavalli. I like this dress okay on Heidi – it seems subdued and mature on her, which isn’t bad at all. She usually errs on the side of “drag queen” so it’s nice to see her styled in a more mature way. I don’t think the dress is super-flattering on her, but it’s a nice choice for her first red carpet since her split.

Here’s Elizabeth Hurley and her man, Shane Warne. I’ve been ignoring Shane and Liz for a while, mostly because there haven’t been new photos of them, and because they’ve been more low-key lately. Liz wore Cavalli – it’s boring on her. I also think she looks like she’s gained some weight? She’s in love with a Ken doll, and she’s happy, so good for her. Shane’s face looks more “settled in” though, right? He looks almost human.

Next up: Jennifer Hudson, also in Cavalli. I think the dress is just awful by itself, and on Jennifer, it’s not good. It does bad things to her bust. But! Her makeup looks good, and I like the big hair on her.

Here’s Cindy Crawford in Cavalli. This dress looks so cheap on her. And her face really looks crazy to me.

Also in Cavalli – Julianne Moore. Great color on her, and great styling. This is the best she’s looked in a long time, I think. My only complaint is that the dress’s tailoring seems off.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Posted in Elizabeth Hurley, Fashion, Heidi Klum

Written by Kaiser         32 Comments »
Nov 8
'11
Liz Hurley’s evil plot involves turning Shane Warne into orange leather

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Orange you glad you clicked on this post? GAH. SO ORANGE. I mean, I love Liz Hurley and Shane Warne together, but all of Shane’s careful skin care is being undone by his extreme tanning, what I’m assuming is a combination of fake-bake spray tans and tanning beds. His skin looks like leather. Orange leather.

Anyway, these are new pics of Shane and Liz in Melbourne, Australia, where they were attending a club opening – the opening of Club 23, “the ultimate private bar and mini casino”. People are calling it “Shane’s bar” but it’s not – according to The Mail, “Warne does not actually own the bar or have any involvement in the running of it as a day-to-day business. Instead, he is merely an ‘ambassador’ of the club, along with professional poker player Joe Hachem.”

Liz donned a bandage dress for the occasion, and I kind of have to give her credit for her evil, Pygmalion Plan to turn Shane into this leathery, frozen, giant-teethed Botox monster – now she looks even better by comparison. Standing next to THAT, she looks even more beautiful. Her skin is gorgeous. As for Shane… his new face is managing to “settle in” a big more, but he still looks ridiculous. I feel kind of bad for him. This is the one of the weirdest and funniest mid-life crises I’ve ever seen.

My favorite part of the photos from this club opening? Tiger Woods was the big “get”. Shane even did photos with him. The British and Aussie papers are trying to make it sound like Shane didn’t want Liz to get near Tiger, lest the Tiger-dong somehow accidentally slip inside Liz. I don’t think Shane has anything to worry about, though. It’s not like Liz is a 20-something HoJo’s waitress (Tiger’s type).

By the by, I still think Liz is doing this whole “loved up and engaged” thing partly because her ex Hugh Grant has just become a father for the first time.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

Posted in Elizabeth Hurley, Shane Warne

Written by Kaiser         16 Comments »
Oct 17
'11
Liz Hurley: “I don’t want Shane putting his great big fat fingers in my moisturizer”

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Liz Hurley has an absolutely massive interview in yesterday’s Mail on Sunday. It’s her first major interview since getting engaged to Shane Warne, so she spends most of the time justifying their relationship and making it sounds like… well, like I’m totally right about their Pygmalion-style relationship, with Liz in the Prof. Higgins role. To read the entire interview, go here. I’m just going to do some of the highlights:

On the engagement: “It’s a very exciting time for me and Shane. We aren’t making any immediate plans to get married – we’re going to enjoy being engaged for a while. We both want to spend more time with each other’s families, and Damian and I are looking forward to visiting Australia together in the near future.”

On Shane’s children: “It definitely helps that Shane has three children – and he’s a very good dad. We both understand that if there’s a child’s football game one of us can’t miss, then that’s it, it’s not up for negotiation, we go home and do it. I think it would be difficult for me to be with somebody who didn’t have kids. We have to make a lot of diary entries: Damian’s school dates, Shane’s children’s school dates, Shane’s work dates, my work dates. It’s a lot to synchronise. It is doable, but it would be easier if I was dating someone who lived round the corner. I haven’t made it easy for myself on the logistical front! You couldn’t live further apart than England and Australia, and when you’re calling from New York to Melbourne, somebody is always getting up and somebody is always going to bed. But you get up a bit earlier, or you go to bed a bit later, and you can always talk.”

She’s happy now, with Shane: “Shane makes me happy. We have a lot of fun together, we laugh a lot and that’s very important to me. I couldn’t put up with ‘serious’ for too long. I don’t care what anyone says about me smartening him up – we’ve both been around too long to care, and that stuff really isn’t important. My family and my new family with Shane and his kids are what’s important. His children are really beautiful, sweet and affectionate. They get on brilliantly with Damian, and as an only child, it’s great for him to have them around when they come to stay. I love having a lot of people in the house – the more the merrier.”

On Shane’s new look: “I don’t think Shane has bought any new clothes since I met him. He’s been dressed by the same people for years. I think he looks best in sports gear, and in my opinion he looks exactly the same as he always has – he’s just lost a hell of a lot of weight, about two stone. Shane is very disciplined, does a lot of exercise and watches what he eats. I really like cakes and sweets; Shane’s vices are beer and peanuts – and there aren’t many peanuts in my house…”

Her son Damien’s crushes on girls while Liz works on Gossip Girl: “Damian is in love with both Blake and Leighton [Blake Lively plays Serena van der Woodsen, Leighton Meester plays Blair Waldorf]. Over the summer he was on the set the entire time – he never got bored once, and he got to say, ‘Action!’ a few times, too. He even made his own short film this summer, starring me, Hugh [Grant, her former partner and Damian’s godfather], Shane and my niece and nephew. I was working late one night and Blake asked if she could take Damian out. So she took him on a little date, to an ice-cream parlour. That was his first date – Blake Lively! Damian would rather make a movie than kick a ball. He isn’t the sportiest boy. But Shane did very kindly give him some bowling lessons in the summer. It was slightly wasted on Damian, who would prefer to eat ice cream with Blake Lively!”

On her divorce: “Arun and I are still best friends – I’m too lazy to fight – and Arun is essentially Damian’s dad [his biological father is American millionaire Steve Bing, who tried to deny his paternity after claiming his relationship with Elizabeth was not ‘exclusive’]. They have holidays together and Arun visits him at school and watches him play football. Arun’s just bought a flat and he asked me to go round and have a look at it before he put his offer in – we’re still very close.”

Shane’s diet, exercise and beauty habits: “Shane did borrow my moisturizer, but now he has his own – I don’t want him putting his great big fat fingers in mine. He has a really big right hand from chucking a cricket ball thousands of times. I’ve never met a man who didn’t like face cream or who wasn’t secretive about his diet. They are obsessed with their bodies. They spend hours in front of the mirror, pinching bits, going on mad runs, all of them.”

[From The Mail]

She makes lots of references to Hugh Grant throughout the whole thing (at one point she refers to him as the “least domesticated” man she’s ever dated), and you can tell that she and Hugh are still such a huge part of each other’s lives. I also love the idea that Damien is a little player, more interested in girls than sports. Adorable.

By the way, we got a tip about an interview Shane’s ex-wife did with an Australian tabloid, Woman’s Day. Her name is Simone Callahan, and in the print interview, she talks about how she and Shane were still very much “together” when he and Liz started up, but that now she “wishes Shane nothing but luck” because she’s found herself some young lover. You can read some online excerpts here.

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Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Posted in Elizabeth Hurley, Shane Warne

Written by Kaiser         17 Comments »
Oct 14
'11
Shane Warne & Liz Hurley get their hair & makeup done together in a salon

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Do I even need to explain myself at this point? I love Shane Warne and Liz Hurley together. I love that she’s remade him. I love that he’s her very special, fancy-ass Ken doll. I love his new teeth and his Botox and his eye work and his new coordinating costume changes. I love that Liz said yes to his proposal. I’m going to be so upset whenever they do break up. When do you think that will happen, by the way? Before or after a lavish London wedding? I say after – I think they will end up getting married, and then all hell will break loose. But until then, let’s just enjoy this.

These are photos of Shane and Liz in London yesterday. This was actually their second costume change for the day. Shane and Liz started out in dumpier clothes – Shane was even allowed to wear Uggs, which you can see here – and then they did this costume change after they had spent several hours in the salon together. Seriously. They beautify together. They get their hair done together. They probably got some mani-pedis too, maybe even a couple’s waxing! That started out as a joke, but you know all of it is probably true.

So… you know what’s next for Liz and Shane, right? Baby rumors. Yes, she’s 46 years old and don’t even give me a lecture about age and fertility. I’m just saying that as far as tabloids go, she’s due for some baby rumors, and she seems to be helping everybody out by wearing a loose shirt and jeans that seem to be unbuttoned. Have at it!

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Photos courtesy of Fame & Pacific Coast News.

Posted in Elizabeth Hurley, Shane Warne

Written by Kaiser         24 Comments »
Oct 5
'11
Liz Hurley flashes her giant sapphire engagement ring with Shane Warne

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Best. Photo. Ever.

I don’t know if Shane Warne was sticking his tongue out at Liz Hurley. I don’t know if was trying to entice his lady to come his way for a gentle, moist, Botoxy kiss. I don’t know if he was simply trying to lick his lips and something went awry. I just want to ensure that this photo lasts forever.

Anyway, these are newish photos of my favorite couple, Liz and Shane, in Scotland yesterday, doing yet another breast cancer awareness event. Liz wore pink and she brought her Ken doll/Eliza Doolittle, the tongue-happy Shane Warne. Have I made you nauseous yet? Shall I talk about how moist his tongue is again? I bet he smells like violets and hair gel. I bet he tastes like… NO, I won’t go there. That was too gross even for me.

Liz even flashed her ring at the event – when Shane proposed (just days ago in Scotland), he gave Liz this huge sapphire and diamond ring, worth a reported $100,000. It’s gorgeous. Sigh… I love sapphires. That’s my birthstone.

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Us Weekly’s jewelry expert says: “[It's a] platinum setting with an approximate 9-carat center blue sapphire and a 2-carat Trillion cut diamond on each side. Shane made the right choice by setting the sapphire in platinum, since platinum doesn’t change color or fade – so it symbolizes a relationship that will endure. Shane Warne is clearly a romantic. Since not only is blue sapphire a favorite of British royalty, but it’s also his birthstone!” CRAP. Shane was born in September too? Is he a Virgo? Let me check. YES HE’S A VIRGO. I swear to God, every crazy celebrity I’ve come across lately is a damn Virgo. They’re bringing the sign down!

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Photos courtesy of Fame.

Posted in Elizabeth Hurley, Engagements, Shane Warne

Written by Kaiser         51 Comments »
Oct 2
'11
Liz Hurley & Shane Warne are engaged, he proposed on Friday

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YAY!!!!!! As I’ve been discussing for more than a month now, Shane Warne and Liz Hurley are absolutely perfect for each other, and they have decided to make each other the happiest cat-faces in the world! Liz tweeted the above photo, of Liz being lit from the dazzling glare coming off of Shane’s new teeth, with the message, “Thanks for all your congratulations.” What were people congratulating her about? Well, it seems that Friday night, Shane proposed to Liz in St. Andrews, Scotland, where they went on a golfing holiday. Huzzah! Liz and Shane have been together at least ten months (that we know of), including the time they spent having an affair whil Liz was still married to Arun Nayar. Sometimes, when two cat-faces click, they just click:

Happy news for Elizabeth Hurley! The Gossip Girl actress and model, 46, is engaged to her boyfriend of 10 months, Australian cricketer Shane Warne.

Reportedly getting down on bended knee at the Old Course Hotel in Scotland Friday, Warne, 42, is said to have proposed during dinner at the hotel’s Road Hole Restaurant.
Though a hotel source declined to comment on the couple’s dinner, a source confirmed the happy news to Us Weekly.

“They are engaged!” reports the insider.

Flashing a giant sapphire and diamond engagement sparkler Saturday, Hurley Tweeted a photo of the pair prior to their dinner, along with the message “Thanks for all your congratulations.” Warne then copied the message onto his own Twitter page and circulated it to his followers.

It will be the second marriage for both Warne and Hurley, who finalized her divorce from hubby of four years Arun Nayar in June.

[From Us Weekly]

Now, will they ever end up walking down the aisle? Probably, I would think. Shane has his own money, I believe (he’s one of Australia’s most famous cricketers), and it’s not the bait-and-switch situation that Liz found herself in with Arun – where his parents were the ones with money, and Liz and Arun lived like millionaires, not billionaires. Now, will Shane and Liz last? Who knows? I’ve long suspected that Shane is Liz’s ultimate “fixer-upper” project – she’s remaking him, like she’s Prof. Higgins and Shane is Eliza Doolittle. Shane seems more than happy to oblige, and I honestly think he adores her. I don’t mean to be too naïve about the couple though – he’s a known womanizer and Liz is rather sleazy. Is it too much to think that they’ll be able to figure it out and live happily ever after?

These are photos of Liz & Shane yesterday in Scotland. What is she doing to his ass?

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More photos:

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Photos courtesy of Liz’s Twitter, Pacific Coast News and WENN.

Posted in Elizabeth Hurley, Engagements, Shane Warne

Written by Kaiser         52 Comments »
Sep 29
'11
Elizabeth Hurley & Shane Warne are close to an engagement!

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Bedhead emailed me this story a few days ago, but I wanted to wait until we had some new photos of my favorite celebrity couple, Elizabeth Hurley and Shane Warne. Unfortunately, these are just new photos of a particularly Botoxy-looking Liz, sans The Warne. Liz was in London, doing a photo event for Breast Cancer Awareness, wearing a pretty pink dress that I swear she’s worn a million times before. Anyway, the new story! The British tabloids are all claiming that Shane is planning to propose soon. Huzzah!

According to new reports Shane Warne is keen to take his relationship with Elizabeth Hurley to the next level.

‘Liz and Shane have a really happy, fun and secure relationship,’ a source told The Mirror. ‘They are forever giggling. Shane absolutely adores her and is keen to make their relationship official. He plans on proposing before Christmas, with the couple having a low-key wedding late next year. Shane is romantic and a traditionalist, and will definitely get down on bended knee to do the deed.’

‘But… Liz is in no hurry to walk down the aisle again … after only divorcing her ex in the summer.’

[From The Mail & Gather Celebs]

Yes, Liz has only been a single lady for three months, although she and Shane have been going on for… something like 9 or 10 months – they began BEFORE she was even separated from Arun Nayar. Anyway, in Shane’s last interview (in early September), he made it sound like they had talked about marriage, but Liz hadn’t agreed to anything yet. Of course, it was just seven weeks ago that the tabloids were claiming that Liz found Shane’s new beauty regimen “tiresome and bizarre.” But they’re still together, so anything goes.

Oh, and are you watching Liz on Gossip Girl? Yeah, me neither. But Shane is. He just tweeted that Liz was “amazing & very sexy” on the show. He’s completely enamored with her, isn’t he? I love this couple. They’re wonderful.

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Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Posted in Elizabeth Hurley, Engagements, Shane Warne

Written by Kaiser         13 Comments »
Aug 17
'11
Liz Hurley finds Botoxed Shane Warne “tiresome, bizarre”

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You know what I love? I love getting requests from people who feel they need MORE coverage of Liz Hurley and her cat-faced gentlemen walker/former sleazy horndog Shane Warne. I already promised that I would write about them whenever we got new photos, but it’s just not enough for some devoted members of the Liz ‘n Shane Fan Club. I love them too, so I can’t complain. They’re so awesome, in a completely wrong, kitschy and cheesy way. I love that Liz is trying to remake a bloated womanizer into a plucked, sucked and tucked metrosexual who wears his new, dapper clothes with a whiff of homoeroticism. I love that Liz appears to have remade her lover into a “walker” (a gay dude who escorts famous older ladies to events). Just for fun, here’s what Shane looked like before Liz got her hands on him:

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And here he is yesterday:

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In these new photos of Shane, he’s seeing entering and leaving Liz’s house. Why no Liz? Because she simply asked her walker to house-sit for her while she was out of town. Ha! But if she’s out of town, why didn’t she take her cat-faced lover with her? Because she’s sick of his Botoxed face, according to reports:

WHEN “bloke’s bloke” Shane Warne became a well-groomed metrosexual, many fans blamed girlfriend Liz Hurley for the ­sudden change of image. But it seems Aussie cricket star Shane’s new-found passion for botox, moisturisers and juice diets is all his own doing – and stunning Liz is getting fed-up with it.

Model and actress Liz, 46, has told friends how he pesters her for beauty tips and she fears his dalliance with his feminine side is out of control.

A pal revealed: “It’s not Elizabeth who has been telling him to diet and look after himself more – it’s all down to Shane. Shane’s been asking Liz about age-defying procedures like fillers and botox and she’s found it all rather bizarre. She loves the fact he’s dropped some pounds but now it’s all getting a little crazy and she’s wondering what he’s going to do next. He’s taking advice on moisturisers and skin peels and researching juicing diets.”

“Liz doesn’t want to lose the man she’s fallen in love with but all the girly chat is getting a little tiresome. Her friends are finding it all highly amusing.”

Former international spin-bowler Shane, who retired from cricket in 2008, was for years known for his manly temper, boozy nights out and stodgy diet.

But since Liz and Shane, 41, got together last year he has shed more than two stone with the help of an organic weight-loss drink and a strict training programme.

In a series of Twitter messages he revealed his devotion to healthy eating. First, he wrote: “Feel like a hot pie with copious amounts of sauce with crinkle cut chips!! What the best pie?” But minutes later he said: “NO Shane!! 78kg is target currently 82.5. Settle on a protein shake with an apple and banana – sob.”

Friends say Shane’s dramatic image change has not affected his relationship with Liz so far. The source added: “Liz is still head over heels about Shane. She just wants him to calm down a little.”

[From The Mirror]

I tend to doubt that Liz is fed up with the girl talk from Shane. My guess is that she encourages it. Doesn’t she seem like the kind of woman who simply wants to have a boyfriend who shares her interests? Liz’s interests being grooming, dieting, ‘Toxing and anything superficial.

By the way, there was a recent rumor that Liz and Shane had gotten engaged, but Liz denied it on Twitter. They won’t get married until Liz decides it’s the right time and she orders Shane to produce a ring. And he will too.

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Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News, WENN.

Posted in Botox, Elizabeth Hurley, Shane Warne

Written by Kaiser         36 Comments »
Jul 25
'11
Liz Hurley & Shane Warne star in more portraits from their mid-life crises

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More Liz Hurley and Shane Warne photos! This couple has really begun to make me happy. I get almost giddy when I see there are new photos of them. Liz and Shane are still in South Africa, where Liz is doing promotional events for Estee Lauder, and Shane is acting as her older, gay gentleman walker/cat-faced boyfriend. For this outing, Liz once again donned a skin-tight pink dress, showing off her trim, immaculate figure. And once again, Shane looked waxy and plastic. I can’t help but wonder: what does his new “O face” look like? Is that gross? It is. But I also think it would be hilarious.

I just don’t even know how this works with them – I mean, beyond my Pygmalion theory. Shane used to be a sleazy horndog who would bang anything with legs. Nowadays he seems content to follow Liz around like a lost puppy, hoping that she will make another “suggestion” about what he should do his face next. I feel like all of these photos should just be titled “Mid-Life Crisis: Set 46” etc.

Do you think Liz will marry him? I bet she’s thinking about it. He’s probably waiting for her to tell him to propose.

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Photos courtesy of Fame.

Posted in Elizabeth Hurley, Shane Warne

Written by Kaiser         57 Comments »
Jul 24
'11
Liz Hurley in pink Blumarine, with cat-faced Shane Warne: tragic or hilarious?

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I am going to keep on talking about this couple until Liz Hurley forces Shane Warne, at gunpoint, to go into his fiftieth operation to be carved into Liz’s mirror image. I think that’s what’s happening between Shane and Liz at this point – he’s going under the knife not to look “younger” – but to look more like Liz. And she loves it. I believe that she’s the one encouraging him to do that to his face. It’s like Pygmalion with the genders reversed. Liz Hurley is the diva-like Prof. Higgins, Shane was the chunky, sun-damaged, womanizing Eliza Doolittle, and with some love, some money, some time, some denial, some crazy and A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK, Liz is remaking Shane into a man she can love, a man who resembles the person who Liz loves above all others: herself. And I love it. They just make so much sense together. (P.S… I think Hugh Grant is Colonel Pickering!)

Anyway, these are photos of Liz and Shane in South Africa, at an event for Estee Lauder called the Pink Illumination Ball, where Liz was seemingly the guest of honor. She wore pink, of course. And her lover came to support her, wearing his new pink-orange cat-face. Liz’s dress is Blumarine, but Liz just makes every single dress she wears look like Versace. Have you ever noticed that? It’s just the way she wears dresses – they always have the same cut, the same cleavage, accessorized in the same way… and it always feels like Versace.

Here’s a fun fact: Liz is 46 years old. Shane is 41!!! He looks like… not 41.

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Photos courtesy of Fame.

Posted in Elizabeth Hurley, Fashion, Shane Warne

Written by Kaiser         54 Comments »
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