CB and I just had the funniest conversation about these new photos of Elsa Pataky, otherwise known as that dumbass who dumped Adrien Brody (after he bought her a castle) and ran off with Olivier Martinez. I would harp on about that choice between Adrien and Olivier, but honestly, I’ve come to realize that Elsa made the right call there. Anyway, since running off with Olivier, her career hasn’t been all that, and she’s still struggling to make a name for herself. So what’s the best way to generate some buzz? Flash your cooter of course.

Since CB and I are both in the South now, I figured a good old fashioned Cooter Watch would be fine. To be fair to Elsa, she does seem to be wearing her drawers, as we say down South. But the photos are still totally NSFW, just because… well… you see plenty. And Elsa wants you to see plenty. Look at the way she’s positioned herself in that tiny little skirt. And it’s not like, “Oh, are there photographers right there? Let me lean over here and whisper in this guy’s ear… oh, no!” Her cooter is for charity, you see. The charity known as “Save Elsa Pataky’s Career”. No, really, it’s for the Foundation Sandra Ibarra of Solidarity Against Cancer and Foundation Fero of Oncological Research. Hm. Doesn’t sound cooter-related.

Elsa Pataky on June 22, 2010. Credit: Target/Fame.

Note by CB: we did not include those close up insets on those photos of Elsa’s ladyparts, the photo agency did that.

This is interesting gossip! Back in May, we found out the an up-and-coming actress named Elsa Pataky left her boyfriend Adrien Brody for Olivier Martinez. This was interesting for several reasons, one of which is that Adrien had been so in love with Elsa, he bought her a castle and they posed for cheese-tastic pictures together in the castle, which just goes to show you: never buy a castle for your girlfriend. Anyway, Elsa got loved up with Olivier in a hurry, and all indications are that they are still together.

Don’t tell that to Cameron Diaz, though! Cameron and Olivier have been working together on Knight and Day, the film that Cameron is doing with Tom Cruise and his wedges. I didn’t know Olivier had a part in it, but apparently he does, and apparently he’s also caught the eye of Cameron. She sees something she likes in that rat face!

Cameron Diaz is having the time of her life while shooting Knight and Day in Spain – and it’s all because of her costar, Olivier Martinez. They first met in 2003, when Cameron was considering the Angelina Jolie-role in Taking Lives, “and she’s had a major crush on him ever since,” says a source.

“She thinks he’s incredibly hot!”

So when he arrived on the Seville set in November, Cameron wasn’t shy about asking Olviier to grab a drink with her, the source adds.

“She jumped at the chance to bond with him.” The only problem? Olivier’s on-again/off-again relationship with Elsa Pataky.

“Olivier hasn’t told anyone where that stands,” the source adds. “Cameron doesn’t know anything about Elsa, and no one has the heart to tell her he might actually be taken.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, December 28, 2009]

Hm… something tells me that if Olivier is really interested in Cameron, Elsa is already gone. I don’t think Olivier is the type to think “I made Elsa leave a man who bought her a castle, so I must stay with her, even if Cameron is all up on my grill.” Except, you know, he thinks it in French. The strange thing is that I think Cameron and Olivier would make a really cute couple – although I don’t see the potential relationship lasting very long. But she made it with that rent-a-date dude Paul Sculfor nearly a year, so anything’s possible.

Olivier Martinez and Elsa in Paris on May 14, 2009. Cameron Diaz on the set of ’Knight and Day’ on November 30, 2009. Credit: Bauer-Griffin.

And they said it wouldn’t last! Well, I said it wouldn’t last. Back in May, we reported that Adrien Brody’s Spanish girlfriend Elsa Pataky unceremoniously dumped him and headed off to be lovers with Olivier Martinez not two days later. International scandal! At the time, I gave it two months before Olivier tried (and succeeded) in seducing Elsa’s mother, because, hey, that just seems to be the kind of guy Olivier is.

I was wrong! Elsa and Olivier are still going strong. They were photographed together recently, going on some kind of “date” in Paris. That’s what the photo agency claims, but I spy Olivier’s mangy dog in a couple of these pics, so the “date” wasn’t that romantic. Most likely they were just going for a post-coital dog-walking.

I kind of hate Elsa for breaking up with Adrien “I Bought A Castle For My Lady” Brody. That being said, I would probably enjoy her life a lot. To leave Adrien for Olivier? That’s a pretty sweet choice. And I love her clothes. I want those jeans and that purse so, so badly. The dog doesn’t look too impressed with the ensemble though, does he?

Other than that, all three people in this love triangle don’t seem to have a lot going on. Olivier and Elsa are apparently too busy shagging all over Parisian dog parks to actually have any films coming out. I did find out something interesting about Adrien though – he recently singed on for a voice role in The Fantastic Mr. Fox. It’s an animated film based on Ronald Dahl’s book. Adrien will be joining George Clooney, Bill Murray, Owen Wilson and Meryl Streep in the voice work. Adrien might be working out his grief in the soundproof room… or maybe he just sits around his castle crying. Sigh. Adrien, call me!

Elsa Pataky and Olivier Martinez are shown out in Paris on 7/10/09. Credit: bauergriffinonline.com