Of course, Paz de la Huerta stumbled down the red carpet last night at the Emmys in one of her typically sleazy ensembles, but I’ve been sidelined from her entire look by that distracting, boob-hugging curl that’s trailing down the right side of her torso. Is that new? It wasn’t visible last week when Paz briefly cleaned up (in her own way), so it’s probably just a clip on curl. Thankfully, Paz wasn’t presenting (can you imagine?) but was merely in attendance to support the Boardwalk Empire nominations (one of which resulted in a Best Director, Drama Series for Martin Scorsese). For this momentous occasion, Paz donned a ballerina pink, body hugging gown that was intentionally sliced to reveal one thigh. While the cut of the dress isn’t anything that we wouldn’t expect from Paz, the color is definitely an odd choice. Perhaps she was trying to look the part of the ingenue? I’ll let that one soak in for a moment…

As is often the case, Paz’s makeup was pretty horrible — she basically ignores her eyes in favor of playing up her lips. That’s her thing, I guess, but the silvery lipstick really makes her look like one of the undead. Naturally, the Paz booty was in full effect. She’s such a terrible mess. God, I love her.

Also in tow from the Boardwalk Empire cast was the generally lovely Kelly MacDonald in a matronly black gown with some see-thru tapestry on the sleeves and semi-boob area, which was accessorized some huge, ugly green earrings and messy, unflattering hair.

Kelly is such a beautiful woman, but she’s almost more of a mess here than Paz. Then again, Kelly is a much more talented actress too — I loved her in No Country for Old Men, where she convincingly did away with her native Scottish tongue in favor of an altogether authentic Texan accent. That’s something that most American actresses fail to pull off these days. Now, if she could only find a better stylist.

Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN

Claire Danes attended the Emmys last night as a presenter (she won last year in the Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries or a Movie category for her role in Temple Grandin), and I’ve got mixed feelings about her look for the evening. She wore a metallic blue Oscar De La Renta column dress, which I believe was intended to be edgier than all of the monochrome and minimalistic dresses that she has favored in the past. I like that she’s mixing it up a bit, and I love the deep blues of the dress itself. It also looks a lot better against the HBO backdrop than against the standard-issue Emmy red-carpet wall.

What gives me pause about Claire is her hair and makeup. Kaiser thinks the hair should be a few shades darker, and I agree that she’s just far too blonde and highlighted at this point, but she’s been that way for quite awhile. Claire’s stuck in a bit of a beauty rut, and I’d like to see her try out a cool shade of brunette or, at the very least, go for some rich lowlights instead of defaulting to the Hollywood standard blonde. In terms of makeup, the lipstick is fine, but the eyeliner is applied in far too gratuitous a manner. Again, I think Claire is going for “edgy” here, so that excuses some of this mess.

Sadly, her adorable husband Hugh Dancy was nowhere to be seem. Maybe he had a TIFF hangover and couldn’t handle the sparkle factor of this dress.

Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN

I almost always love Julianna Margulies on the red carpet, but not last night. I usually hold her up as an example of a mature, adult woman who knows how to dress appropriately and elegantly in a way that suits her figure and coloring. I’m going to have to rethink that. Julianna wore this completely odd Armani Privé gown for her Emmy win last night. First, the bottom… it looks like a condom. It’s the way the fabric hugs her legs, it looks like it was rolled down her body. As for the bustier top… JESUS. Why did Armani feel the need to hot-glue-gun some tacky-looking pieces of plastic onto the too-hard plane of the faux-bustier? Instead of looking expensive, it looks like someone’s craft project. So tacky.

I also kind of hated Julianna’s hair style. I love her hair too – so dark, so thick, but I wish she would stop parting it down the middle, and I think she usually goes for the “flat against the scalp” look, which is meh. Last night, she decided to fluff it up, and the style didn’t really flatter her either.

I am glad that she won Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama for The Good Wife, though. I like that she’s found another television series that she believes in, and that people enjoy her on.

Oh, that’s her hot husband, by the way. He’s adorable.

Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN.

The Emmys are tonight! I know, they snuck up on us this year. I realized all of a sudden yesterday, “Damn, the Emmys are 24 hours away.” It should be an exciting night, and in my opinion, it’s been a good year for television. Tomorrow, CB, Bedhead and I will have lots and lots of Emmy coverage, including winners and fashion and post-Emmy parties and who did what, etc. This is just the Open Post to discuss the red carpet and whatever else strikes your fancy.

Your Open Post hosts are two of the sexiest bitches scheduled to appear at this year’s ceremony: Sofia Vergara and Idris Elba. Sofia is nominated for Best Supporting Actress In a Comedy Series for Modern Family, and Idris is nominated for Best Actor in a Drama Series for the BBC America show, Luther, where he plays a detective. Idris was also nominated (and he’s already lost) for Outstanding Guest Star for his role in The Big C. These are photos of both Sofia and Idris at some of the pre-Emmy parties. You can review all of this year’s nominees here.

My proposed drinking game for the evening involves cutaways. Take a swig whenever there’s a cutaway to Dame Gwyneth‘s snot-face, or Kate Winslet’s cat-face, or to Lea Michele’s bitch-face. You should get good and hammered.

Come back tomorrow for all of our coverage!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

This is part of the reason I don’t tweet much. I’ve gotten into trouble in the past bitching about people who have done me wrong. (And we’re talking once, but that was back when you could still search on deleted tweets so the person found it anyway.) Sons of Anarchy creator Kurt Sutter took to Twitter to complain that his show was snubbed by the Emmy nominating committee. He called them old and joked that they screwed him out of a threesome with his wife, the show’s star Katey Sagal, who had “promised me a threesome if we won.” Then he went on to mock Glee and sort-of try to take it back. Classy.

After the Emmy noms were announced this morning, Kurt Sutter went to Twitter and fired off the following:

“The worse part of not getting an emmy nod. katey [his wife] promised me a threesome if she won. now i have to settle for me, her and the shaved bunny.”

“Best part of not getting an emmy nod. now i don’t have to pretend i give a s**t about the profiteering douchebag academy … because you know if we were nominated i’d be all humble and blowing smoke up their asses. now i can stay true to myself and just be a d**k.”

He continues with a joke — “These two academy member walk into a bar. one orders a beer. then they both die because they’re so f**king old.”

And … “If my mom and dad were alive this emmy snub would kill them. that’s not true, they were too old to understand my show. just like the academy.”

Sutter also took aim at “Glee” … writing, “f**k glee. hate those annoying, ‘please accept me for who i am’, singing brats. there, i said it. are you happy?”

He went on to explain, “I love ryan murphy ['Glee' creator]. he’s always very cool with me. love glee too. just tired of all the j**z piling up at its feet.”

[From TMZ]

Later he tweeted “you do know that i’m really okay with no noms right? if i was really upset, i wouldn’t be ranting. i’d be plotting. i’m all about the love” and followed up with “those who got the joke, laughed. those who didn’t, published a story. so sad that greedy media whores must turn good fun into nasty business.” It’s all our fault for paying attention to what he wrote, an argument so many celebrities have used before ad nauseum. Way to write about the same people who help promote your show.

I tried to get into Sons of Anarchy. I didn’t start from the beginning though, I started from season three, watched about four episodes and just found it too hard to keep up with. It was complicated and hard to follow. Compare that to Boardwalk Empire, which I also didn’t start watching until mid-season. There’s a lot of mobster stuff going on with that show and I’ll be honest some minor plot details were lost to me, but I could still watch it and find it entertaining. Sons of Anarchy frustrated me, but I did enjoy what I saw, just not enough to care what happened next or keep watching. Maybe it’s just not everyone’s cup of tea, it doesn’t have to do with people being too “old” to enjoy it. You wouldn’t expect a whiny bitch like Sutter to get that though. He has much more in common with Ryan Murphy than he thinks.

Header photo from 3/8/10. Photo below from 8/30/10. Credit: WENN.com

The 2011 Emma nominations have been announced! Let’s see… surprises, snubs and also-rans: Friday Night Lights got a lot of love for its final season, with nominations for the series, plus Best Actor and Actress (Connie Britton and Kyle Chandler). Lots of love for Justified (Whoop!), with nominations for Timothy Olyphant and Walter Goggins. Mad Men scored the most noms, with a series nomination, and nominations in every acting category (WHOOP!). Surprisingly, The Killing even scored some noms – but only for the women. My beloved Joel Kinnaman was snubbed! Even though I’m not going to watch The Killing anymore after that terrible asshattery of a finale, I still wanted to see Joel in a tux. Also: The Good Wife and Boardwalk Empire continue to thrive, nomination-wise. Margulies is probably a shoo-in for the Emmy this year. For the full list, go here. Here are most of them:

Outstanding Drama Series: Boardwalk Empire, Dexter, Friday Night Lights, Game of Thrones, Good Wife, Mad Men

Outstanding Comedy Series: Big Bang Theory, Glee, Modern Family, The Office, Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock

Outstanding Actress in a Drama
Kathy Bates, Harry’s Law
Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights
Mireille Enos, The Killing
Mariska Harigtay, Law and Order: SVU
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama
Kelly Macdonald, Boardwalk Empire
Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife
Christine Baranski, The Good Wife
Margo Martindale, Justified
Michelle Forbes, The Killing
Christina Hendricks, Mad Men

Outstanding Actor in a Drama
Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
John Hamm, Mad Men
Hugh Laurie, House
Timothy Olyphant, Justified

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama
Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones
Josh Charles, The Good Wife
Alan Cumming, The Good Wife
Walton Goggins, Justified
John Slattery, Mad Men
Andrew Braugher, Men of a Certain Age

Outstanding Actress in a Comedy
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Laurie Linney, The Big C
Melissa McCarthy, Mike & Molly
Martha Plimpton, Raising Hope
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy
Jane Lynch, Glee
Betty White, Hot In Cleveland
Julie Bowen, Modern Family
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family
Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live
Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock

Outstanding Actor in a Comedy
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Louis C.K., Louie
Steve Carrell, The Office
Johnny Galecki, The Big Bang Theory
Matt LeBlanc, Episodes
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy
Chris Colfer, Glee
Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family
Ed O’Neill, Modern Family
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family
Ty Burrell, Modern Family
Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men

[From HuffPo]

So no Charlie Sheen, but Jon Cryer got nominated, and there’s still a lot of love for Glee too, but I feel like it’s probably waning (hopefully). And Ed O’Neill finally got nominated for his work in Modern Family! Good. He was snubbed last year, to everyone’s shock – Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Eric Stonestreet get so much attention (well-deserved) for Modern Family, but Ed is a friggin’ veteran of television, and he’s doing an amazing job on that show. He’s my favorite character, joint with Sofia Vergara (Whoop!).

Oh CRAP! I just realized that The Closer was snubbed. Goddamn it. Kyra Sedgwick rules! The Closer is awesome!!!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Ah, the Hot Men of The Emmys. Hot Guy Emmys? Hot Guy Awards: The Emmys Edition? Whatever you want to call it, there was a spectacular dearth of truly hot men at the Emmys. Sure, there were cute guys, and many very talented men. But panty-droppers and leg-crossing hotties? There were only a few. So let’s start it off with a classic, Mr. George Clooney. I thought he came across as a bit smug during his award presentation (for the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award), and his bronzing is reaching George Hamiliton proportions. But I still get hot for George sometimes. I mean, he knows how to wear the hell out of a tux, and you know he loves the kinkiest sh-t out there. Also – I can’t find any photos of Elisabetta Canalis anywhere, although most sources have her backstage at the Emmys. Clooney didn’t let her walk the red carpet and wouldn’t answer questions about her – which I think means she’s on the way out. So Clooney will be single soon, maybe.

Aaron Paul is adorable. Beautiful eyes. I would love to see more of him. And he won his first Emmy, bitches!

Jon Hamm is just so lovely. Sigh… is there anything else to say about him, really? His dance moves are killer and he wears the f-ck out of a tux. Sweet Jesus. His girlfriend better watch her back.

Alexander Skarsgard was there, although he barely posed for any photos. But he did present with Paquin & Moyer. Rumor going around that he and Kate Bosworth are over… I might write about it in a sec. So… hello, Mr. Skarsgard.

I swoon a little when Stephen Moyer talks in his regular British accent. He’s very sexy in real life, although he’s pretty short. Little pocket rocket.

Nathan Fillion! I cosign his hotness. He’s lovely.

I love Eric Stonestreet. He’s amazing. And I’m so glad he won!

Matthew Morrison’s hair brings the funk. Hideous. He needs shorter hair, for real.

Speaking of funky hair, Al Pacino. Don’t get me wrong, I would still hit it (it’s Michael Corleone, after all), but is he wearing a hairpiece? Right?

John Krasinski should avoid bow-ties at all costs. They emphasize his ears.

I’ve never gotten hot for Matthew Fox, and his appearance was totally “meh.”

NPH & his partner David. NPH looks gorge, per usual. David has a bitchface, right?

Kevin Bacon needs to shave.

Stephen Colbert – I would hit it like a house on fire. LOVE.

Michael C. Hall’s post-cancer hair is funky as hell. But I would still hit it. He’s so cute.

I think CB gets hot for Joel McHale. I think he’s one of those dudes who does not look better in a tux or suit – he’s way sexier in casual clothes.

Ty Burrell is adorable, and I like his tux. He’s so fancy!

Michael Emerson will always be villainous to me, but he looks nice with his wife.

I saw Mark Salling interviewed by Ryan Seacrest, and can I just say? This kid is a moron. And he’s rude. And unprofessional. I really dislike him now.

Ricky should take off his sunglasses.

Jimmy Fallon did a great job, y’all. Props to him. I’m not hot for him, but he’s a cutie.

Tom Hanks looks rough, right? It’s not just my imagination?

Jim Parsons is adorable. Love his little Southern accent.

I don’t get hot for Bryan Cranston, but I do like him a hell of a lot. He seems like a sweet, generous man, and God bless.

Will Arnett is a handsome guy in his own right – so why do I chuckle every time I see him? I just look at his face and I start laughing.

Damn, is Hugh Dancy already over it? They JUST got married. He’s like, “This bitch.”

Seal’s open shirt was distracting and weird. Like he was a lounge singer or something.

Alan Cumming, once again bringing the funk. Love him.

Does John Lithgow turn anybody on? Freak. You, not him. He seems like a sweetheart. But he’s not making me hot.

BUCKY GUNTS!!!!! Let’s end it on him!

Header of Clooney, credit: WENN.

There were several hilarious bits from last night’s Emmys. One was the opening, which apparently came from the brain of Jimmy Fallon. Sidenote: He did a better job hosting than I expected. I hope he gets asked back, because he did a decent job and he deserves a lot of credit for that. Anyway, Jimmy organized this hilarious opening starring some of Glee kids, Tina Fey, Betty White and my lovely Jon Hamm. This video is worth it just to see The Hamm shake his ass, honestly. But the whole thing is rather hilarious, especially the Kate Gosselin thing.

Also – I was in fits of laughter for the Modern Family thing – where they inserted George Clooney in an attempt to revamp the show. Clooney still has a great sense of humor to participate in this:

Okay, one more: Ricky Gervais is always awesome. His Mel Gibson joke is AWESOME. And we are all Bucky Gunts.

There was a tremendous amount of fug fashion last night, even from some repeat offenders. Like January Jones – what the fug is this mess? It’s Versace, by the way. Donatella needs her head examined for making this crap for January. Beyond the hideous (too bright) dress, January hair was hideous, and she looked WAY too thin. Also: seashell boobs!!!

As offensive as January was, the truth is that she’s still young enough to say, “Well, she’s still experimenting with her look.” You cannot say this about Rita Wilson. Rita usually knows what looks good on her figure, and she usually has pretty decent taste. Not last night – Tom Hanks was nominated as executive producer of The Pacific, and this is how Rita showed up:

Hideous, right? Sparkly fisherman’s net. Check out her Prada shoes:

I know Anna Paquin was wearing a dress by the late Alexander McQueen, who was one of her favorite designers. But I think this looks horrible – on her, for this event. Maybe for a different event, with different hair and makeup, I wouldn’t hate this so much. But I just think this does nothing for her.

Sometimes it’s difficult to judge someone as badly dressed because it’s not even that they look terrible, it’s just that in mind, they could have looked spectacular. Sofia Vergara just didn’t bring it – she could have looked amazing, and this dress just seems to be phoning it in. Controversial choice, I know. It just doesn’t do anything for her figure or her coloring.

Dianna Agron (is that her name?) in funky princess styles. Hated it. Next.

I thought Julie Bowen looked like hell too! And the camera kept cutting to her during the Emmy telecast because she was in the front row. She was wearing WAY too much makeup, and her dress makes her look like a mermaid whore.

Now, I don’t know this chick’s name. She’s Ty Burrell’s wife, and I am embarrassed for her. My first thought was “cat toy.” My second thought? “How could she think this looks cute?”

Honestly, Glenn Close looked much prettier in motion, and you can tell that she’s a beautiful woman who is aging naturally, and I applaud that, for real. Plus, she can act the pants off of nearly every woman at the Oscars. So on talent alone, Glenn is awesome. But I didn’t care for this look at all. Something was off, and I still can’t put my finger on it. Like, the color should have either been darker or lighter, and the fit should have been better and her hair should have been different. Eh.

I kind of loved Julia Ormond’s dress, honestly. The fit was awesome, and it looked great on her. The hair just ruined it for me.

Lauren Graham. Hated it. Next.

Jewel. Hated it. She looked like a pale pink doily.

Heidi Klum in Marchesa. Hated it. Too short – it was neither age appropriate nor venue-appropriate. And her styling sucked too – who wears a huge, chunky necklace with a tiny little minidress? Tacky.

I thought Keri Russell looked very pretty, actually. It just wasn’t appropriate for the Emmys. This would have been good for a premiere (with a better fitting bust, right?) – but for the Emmys, she needed another three inches of fabric at the bottom.

I wanted to like Elizabeth Moss’s dress, I really did. I find her adorable, and I want her to have great fashion moments. But the color washed her out, and I hate the crap on her shoulder, and the hair is horrible, like Sally Field in Steel Magnolias helmet hair for a 50-year-old grandmother.

Ever since I saw Rose Byrne in Get Him To The Greek, I’ve been in love with her. But these Bride of Frankenstein styles have got to go.

Speaking of Bride of Frankenstein, Mindy Kaling. I love her, she’s quirky and interesting and a really talented writer, but NO. Honey, just stop.

Kate Gosselin’s dress looked totally WalMart. As did her hair and makeup. As did her bitchface.

Jane Krakowski – always a bad dresser. This doesn’t make her top five worst looks, but she still needs a new stylist.

Emily Deschanel = Bangs trauma.

Padma Lakshmi can’t dress for sh-t. At all.

Is Betty White still being dressed by the Golden Girls costumer? Because she can afford to hire someone better. I still love her though.

Emily Blunt should know better. This is so fug, it hurts my eyes.

I think Toni Collette is one of the best actresses of her generation. I also think she’s one of the worst dressers of her generation. While this is a really, really great look for Toni (it fits and everything), it’s still a fug look overall. It looks like she’s been walking in mud and dung.

Naya Rivera, no one knows who you are, and no one cares. Settle down.

Speaking of no one caring, Eva Longoria. Zzzz….

A dude made it on the worst-dressed list – Mr. Alan Cumming. Now, I love Alan. I love his funky style, because I think it’s genuine and not some hipster affectation, you know? He really is this strange. So I love to hate this look – women’s palazzo pants, loafers, and an ascot. Bless his funky heart.

Photos of January Jones and Rita Wilson, credit: WENN.

At last night’s Emmys, I have to admit that no one really blew me away with a look that was so fabulous, so right-on, so immaculate that I was seething with fashion envy/jealousy. But there were some good, even great looks. I actually thought Jane Lynch was one of the best-dressed of the night (above). She chose a very girly, princess-y gown in a deep amythyst color which looked great on her. She seemed to be the harbinger of two trends: jewel tones and one-shoulder gowns, both of which I wholly endorse. Plus, Lynch won last night, which was spectacular for her. WHOOP!

Claire Danes was one of my best-dressed of the evening. This is Armani Prive, and it could easily have washed her out. But something about the right tone and her hair – I don’t know, it really worked. It worked everywhere – on the red carpet, on stage, and in photos. It’s a fabulous dress, and Claire kept everything else simple in service of the dress, which was smart.

I thought Lea Michele looked adorable, and I’m not even a fan. This dress moved beautifully, and the fit was gorgeous. It’s Oscar de la Renta.

Here’s a controversial decision – I’m putting Kyra Sedgwick on the best dressed list. I know, I know: her hair. But the dress, the makeup and the first-ever Emmy win (WHOOP!) make up for the bedhead. The color was absolutely fantastic too. Plus, I just love her.

Tina Fey in Oscar de la Renta = WIN. This looked great on her, she looked smart and pretty and age-appropriate and sexy. Plus, the detailing on this dress is gorgeous.

Christina Hendricks in Zac Posen. At first I was like, “Jesus, Chrissy, put down the damn feathers.” This dress is all about boobs and feathers and STATEMENT. But you know what? This is actually not hideous. The color is nice on her and the dress compliments her figure, and it’s one of her better red carpet looks.

Julie Benz in bridal styles. I can’t hate it though, she’s kind of pulling it off.

I’m only putting Jennifer Westfield (in Armani) on the best dressed list because I want to look at The Hamm (he was in Armani as well). Personally, I find her dress “meh”.

I liked Maura Tierney’s whole look. The short (post-cancer) pixie hair looks great on her, the color popped, and the dress moved well. It doesn’t look great in still photos, but whatever.

This dress on Dexter’s Jennifer Carpenter made me think she’s like a prettier Gisele Bundchen. She looked gorgeous, I think. The hair was a little bedhead, but she looked glamorous and sexy.

Amy Poehler makes the best dressed list just for showing up three weeks after giving birth! She looks great. The color isn’t my favorite, but it doesn’t wash her out and she looks very pretty. Great nursing boobs too!

Julia Louis Dreyfus is another example of a woman who has found what works for her, and wears that style consistently. She usually wears Narciso Rodriguez, and she consistently looks good. Plus, her styling was great.

Yes, Edie Falco was a mess. The dress didn’t fit right and the hair was off. But I’m still putting her in the best dressed because suck it.

The Good Wife’s Archie Panjabi unexpectedly won Best Supporting Actress in a Drama. She looked great! She’s so, so pretty. Love her now.

I feel like we’ve seen Susan Sarandon in this dress a million times before, but at her age, I’m glad she’s found a consistent style that works for her (insert side-eye to Rita Wilson, who you will see on the worst dressed list). And Susan does look great, albeit kind of boring. Her daughter Eva Amurri looks like a bombshell though – so, so pretty.

Ryan Murphy was my Best Dressed dude of the evening. Love that he thanked Tom Ford in his speech!

Header: Jane Lynch at the Emmys, credit: WENN.