Here is your Open Post for tonight’s Emmy Awards, which air (if you are in America) on ABC at 8 pm, I think. The Emmy site says 7 pm, but I guess that means that the Emmy red carpet coverage starts at 7 pm. Your Open Post is being hosted by my love, that gorgeous English bitch known as Benedict “Cumby” Cumberbatch. Cumby will be at the Emmys. He actually did some campaigning for his nomination and his Emmy, although we normally think of “campaigns” as just for the Academy Awards. Cumby really mad himself available for more American press earlier this year when Sherlock’s second (fantastic) season was about to come to PBS. I like to think that he really likes that Sherlock has been embraced by America, and that he’s proud of his Emmy nomination.

Because of the funky Emmy rules, Sherlock is considered a “miniseries or movie” rather than a proper episodic drama (which is what it really is). Cumby is nominated for “Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries or a Movie” for A Scandal in Belgravia (which, if you haven’t seen, is one of the best things EVER, in the history of time). I think Cumby’s inclusion in the Miniseries/Movie part is actually good news, because I think that means he’s got a better shot at winning. He’s up against Kevin Costner, Idris Elba, Clive Owen (sigh!), Bill Paxton and Woody Harrelson. Don’t you think Cumby’s chances are pretty good? I do. And beyond that, Sherlock is nominated for a slew of other awards too (including a nomination for Martin Freeman/Dr. Watson). You can see the full list of nominations here.

So, will Cumby have a shiny award to bring home to England? If he wins, will he do a special Cumby Dance? That is my way of introducing my new favorite video ever – Benedict dancing to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” at some kind of wedding. I LOVE HIM.

That is the dance he will do at OUR wedding!!

Here are some photos of Benedict on Saturday in LA, at the BAFTA TV Tea party. He looks SO sexy to me. Go ahead and yell at me. I don’t care!!!! I would hit that like a house on fire. Like a bitchy, pale, English house on fire.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

The Emmy nominations were announced this morning, and it’s a good day to be working on Mad Men!! HUZZAH. Mad Men and American Horror Story were the two most nominated shows, with 17 nominations each. Some highlights from the nominations: Jon Hamm and Elisabeth Moss scored lead acting nominations (which is weird because Moss didn’t have much of a story line this year). Sherlock: A Scandal In Belgravia was nominated (WOO!) for TV Movie, and Claire Danes (Homeland) and Julianna Margulies were both nominated for Best Actress too. Bad news: No Kyra Sedgwick! Let’s just do the list:

Drama Series
Boardwalk Empire
Breaking Bad
Downton Abbey
Game of Thrones
Homeland
Mad Men

Lead Actress Drama
Kathy Bates – Harry’s Law
Glenn Close – Damages
Claire Danes – Homeland
Michelle Dockery – Downton Abbey
Julianna Margulies – The Good Wife
Elisabeth Moss – Mad Men

Lead Actor Drama
Hugh Bonneville – Downton Abbey
Steve Buscemi – Boardwalk Empire
Bryan Cranston – Breaking Bad
Michael C Hall – Dexter
Jon Hamm – Mad Men
Damian Lewis – Homeland

Mini-Series or Movie
American Horror Story
Game Change
Hatfields and McCoys
Hemmingway & Gellhorn
Luther
Sherlock

Comedy Series
Big Bang Theory
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Girls
Modern Family
30 Rock
Veep

Actress Mini-Series/Movie
Connie Britton – American Horror Story
Ashley Judd – Missing
Nicole Kidman – Hemmingway & Gellhorn
Julianne Moore – Game Change
Emma Thompson – The Song of Lunch

Actor Mini-Series/Movie
Kevin Costner – Hatfields and McCoys
Benedict Cumberbatch – Sherlock
Idris Elba – Luther
Woody Harrelson – Game Change
Clive Owen – Hemmingway & Gellhorn
Bill Paxton – Hatfields and McCoys

Lead Actress Comedy
Zooey Deschanel – New Girl
Lena Dunahm – Girls
Edie Falco – Nurse Jackie
Tina Fey – 30 Rock
Julia Louis-Dreyfus – Veep
Melissa McCarthy – Mike & Molly
Amy Poehler – Parks & Recreation

Lead Actor Comedy
Alec Baldwin – 30 Rock
Don Cheadle – House of Lies
Louis CK – Louie
Jon Cryer – Two and a Half Men
Larry David – Curb Your Enthusiasm
Jim Parsons – Big Bang Theory

[Full Emmy Nominations List Here]

It’s interesting to see Best Comedic Actress so packed with nominations, right? And the supporting category is good too – Sofia Vergara, Julie Bowen and Kristen Wiig are all nominated too. As for supporting comedy dudes – ALL of the Modern Family men are nominated, plus SCHMIDT from The New Girl (yay!). Best supporting actress is a drama series includes nominations for Archie Panjabi (huzzah!), Christina Hendricks (she deserves it this year), Maggie Smith (awesome) and Christine Baranski (awesome). Also, Joanna Froggert from Downton got a nom, but… let’s face it, Anna’s storyline SUCKED.

One of my favorite categories? Lead actor in a TV Movie or Miniseries. Benedict Cumberbatch against Idris Elba against Clive Owen = HEAVEN. Nicole Kidman also got a nom for her lippy work in Hemingway & Gellhorn, although I think Julianne Moore will probably win for her role as Sarah Palin in Game Change.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Of course, Paz de la Huerta stumbled down the red carpet last night at the Emmys in one of her typically sleazy ensembles, but I’ve been sidelined from her entire look by that distracting, boob-hugging curl that’s trailing down the right side of her torso. Is that new? It wasn’t visible last week when Paz briefly cleaned up (in her own way), so it’s probably just a clip on curl. Thankfully, Paz wasn’t presenting (can you imagine?) but was merely in attendance to support the Boardwalk Empire nominations (one of which resulted in a Best Director, Drama Series for Martin Scorsese). For this momentous occasion, Paz donned a ballerina pink, body hugging gown that was intentionally sliced to reveal one thigh. While the cut of the dress isn’t anything that we wouldn’t expect from Paz, the color is definitely an odd choice. Perhaps she was trying to look the part of the ingenue? I’ll let that one soak in for a moment…

As is often the case, Paz’s makeup was pretty horrible — she basically ignores her eyes in favor of playing up her lips. That’s her thing, I guess, but the silvery lipstick really makes her look like one of the undead. Naturally, the Paz booty was in full effect. She’s such a terrible mess. God, I love her.

Also in tow from the Boardwalk Empire cast was the generally lovely Kelly MacDonald in a matronly black gown with some see-thru tapestry on the sleeves and semi-boob area, which was accessorized some huge, ugly green earrings and messy, unflattering hair.

Kelly is such a beautiful woman, but she’s almost more of a mess here than Paz. Then again, Kelly is a much more talented actress too — I loved her in No Country for Old Men, where she convincingly did away with her native Scottish tongue in favor of an altogether authentic Texan accent. That’s something that most American actresses fail to pull off these days. Now, if she could only find a better stylist.

Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN

Claire Danes attended the Emmys last night as a presenter (she won last year in the Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries or a Movie category for her role in Temple Grandin), and I’ve got mixed feelings about her look for the evening. She wore a metallic blue Oscar De La Renta column dress, which I believe was intended to be edgier than all of the monochrome and minimalistic dresses that she has favored in the past. I like that she’s mixing it up a bit, and I love the deep blues of the dress itself. It also looks a lot better against the HBO backdrop than against the standard-issue Emmy red-carpet wall.

What gives me pause about Claire is her hair and makeup. Kaiser thinks the hair should be a few shades darker, and I agree that she’s just far too blonde and highlighted at this point, but she’s been that way for quite awhile. Claire’s stuck in a bit of a beauty rut, and I’d like to see her try out a cool shade of brunette or, at the very least, go for some rich lowlights instead of defaulting to the Hollywood standard blonde. In terms of makeup, the lipstick is fine, but the eyeliner is applied in far too gratuitous a manner. Again, I think Claire is going for “edgy” here, so that excuses some of this mess.

Sadly, her adorable husband Hugh Dancy was nowhere to be seem. Maybe he had a TIFF hangover and couldn’t handle the sparkle factor of this dress.

Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN

I almost always love Julianna Margulies on the red carpet, but not last night. I usually hold her up as an example of a mature, adult woman who knows how to dress appropriately and elegantly in a way that suits her figure and coloring. I’m going to have to rethink that. Julianna wore this completely odd Armani Privé gown for her Emmy win last night. First, the bottom… it looks like a condom. It’s the way the fabric hugs her legs, it looks like it was rolled down her body. As for the bustier top… JESUS. Why did Armani feel the need to hot-glue-gun some tacky-looking pieces of plastic onto the too-hard plane of the faux-bustier? Instead of looking expensive, it looks like someone’s craft project. So tacky.

I also kind of hated Julianna’s hair style. I love her hair too – so dark, so thick, but I wish she would stop parting it down the middle, and I think she usually goes for the “flat against the scalp” look, which is meh. Last night, she decided to fluff it up, and the style didn’t really flatter her either.

I am glad that she won Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama for The Good Wife, though. I like that she’s found another television series that she believes in, and that people enjoy her on.

Oh, that’s her hot husband, by the way. He’s adorable.

Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN.

The Emmys are tonight! I know, they snuck up on us this year. I realized all of a sudden yesterday, “Damn, the Emmys are 24 hours away.” It should be an exciting night, and in my opinion, it’s been a good year for television. Tomorrow, CB, Bedhead and I will have lots and lots of Emmy coverage, including winners and fashion and post-Emmy parties and who did what, etc. This is just the Open Post to discuss the red carpet and whatever else strikes your fancy.

Your Open Post hosts are two of the sexiest bitches scheduled to appear at this year’s ceremony: Sofia Vergara and Idris Elba. Sofia is nominated for Best Supporting Actress In a Comedy Series for Modern Family, and Idris is nominated for Best Actor in a Drama Series for the BBC America show, Luther, where he plays a detective. Idris was also nominated (and he’s already lost) for Outstanding Guest Star for his role in The Big C. These are photos of both Sofia and Idris at some of the pre-Emmy parties. You can review all of this year’s nominees here.

My proposed drinking game for the evening involves cutaways. Take a swig whenever there’s a cutaway to Dame Gwyneth‘s snot-face, or Kate Winslet’s cat-face, or to Lea Michele’s bitch-face. You should get good and hammered.

Come back tomorrow for all of our coverage!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

This is part of the reason I don’t tweet much. I’ve gotten into trouble in the past bitching about people who have done me wrong. (And we’re talking once, but that was back when you could still search on deleted tweets so the person found it anyway.) Sons of Anarchy creator Kurt Sutter took to Twitter to complain that his show was snubbed by the Emmy nominating committee. He called them old and joked that they screwed him out of a threesome with his wife, the show’s star Katey Sagal, who had “promised me a threesome if we won.” Then he went on to mock Glee and sort-of try to take it back. Classy.

After the Emmy noms were announced this morning, Kurt Sutter went to Twitter and fired off the following:

“The worse part of not getting an emmy nod. katey [his wife] promised me a threesome if she won. now i have to settle for me, her and the shaved bunny.”

“Best part of not getting an emmy nod. now i don’t have to pretend i give a s**t about the profiteering douchebag academy … because you know if we were nominated i’d be all humble and blowing smoke up their asses. now i can stay true to myself and just be a d**k.”

He continues with a joke — “These two academy member walk into a bar. one orders a beer. then they both die because they’re so f**king old.”

And … “If my mom and dad were alive this emmy snub would kill them. that’s not true, they were too old to understand my show. just like the academy.”

Sutter also took aim at “Glee” … writing, “f**k glee. hate those annoying, ‘please accept me for who i am’, singing brats. there, i said it. are you happy?”

He went on to explain, “I love ryan murphy ['Glee' creator]. he’s always very cool with me. love glee too. just tired of all the j**z piling up at its feet.”

[From TMZ]

Later he tweeted “you do know that i’m really okay with no noms right? if i was really upset, i wouldn’t be ranting. i’d be plotting. i’m all about the love” and followed up with “those who got the joke, laughed. those who didn’t, published a story. so sad that greedy media whores must turn good fun into nasty business.” It’s all our fault for paying attention to what he wrote, an argument so many celebrities have used before ad nauseum. Way to write about the same people who help promote your show.

I tried to get into Sons of Anarchy. I didn’t start from the beginning though, I started from season three, watched about four episodes and just found it too hard to keep up with. It was complicated and hard to follow. Compare that to Boardwalk Empire, which I also didn’t start watching until mid-season. There’s a lot of mobster stuff going on with that show and I’ll be honest some minor plot details were lost to me, but I could still watch it and find it entertaining. Sons of Anarchy frustrated me, but I did enjoy what I saw, just not enough to care what happened next or keep watching. Maybe it’s just not everyone’s cup of tea, it doesn’t have to do with people being too “old” to enjoy it. You wouldn’t expect a whiny bitch like Sutter to get that though. He has much more in common with Ryan Murphy than he thinks.

Header photo from 3/8/10. Photo below from 8/30/10. Credit: WENN.com

The 2011 Emma nominations have been announced! Let’s see… surprises, snubs and also-rans: Friday Night Lights got a lot of love for its final season, with nominations for the series, plus Best Actor and Actress (Connie Britton and Kyle Chandler). Lots of love for Justified (Whoop!), with nominations for Timothy Olyphant and Walter Goggins. Mad Men scored the most noms, with a series nomination, and nominations in every acting category (WHOOP!). Surprisingly, The Killing even scored some noms – but only for the women. My beloved Joel Kinnaman was snubbed! Even though I’m not going to watch The Killing anymore after that terrible asshattery of a finale, I still wanted to see Joel in a tux. Also: The Good Wife and Boardwalk Empire continue to thrive, nomination-wise. Margulies is probably a shoo-in for the Emmy this year. For the full list, go here. Here are most of them:

Outstanding Drama Series: Boardwalk Empire, Dexter, Friday Night Lights, Game of Thrones, Good Wife, Mad Men

Outstanding Comedy Series: Big Bang Theory, Glee, Modern Family, The Office, Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock

Outstanding Actress in a Drama
Kathy Bates, Harry’s Law
Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights
Mireille Enos, The Killing
Mariska Harigtay, Law and Order: SVU
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama
Kelly Macdonald, Boardwalk Empire
Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife
Christine Baranski, The Good Wife
Margo Martindale, Justified
Michelle Forbes, The Killing
Christina Hendricks, Mad Men

Outstanding Actor in a Drama
Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
John Hamm, Mad Men
Hugh Laurie, House
Timothy Olyphant, Justified

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama
Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones
Josh Charles, The Good Wife
Alan Cumming, The Good Wife
Walton Goggins, Justified
John Slattery, Mad Men
Andrew Braugher, Men of a Certain Age

Outstanding Actress in a Comedy
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Laurie Linney, The Big C
Melissa McCarthy, Mike & Molly
Martha Plimpton, Raising Hope
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy
Jane Lynch, Glee
Betty White, Hot In Cleveland
Julie Bowen, Modern Family
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family
Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live
Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock

Outstanding Actor in a Comedy
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Louis C.K., Louie
Steve Carrell, The Office
Johnny Galecki, The Big Bang Theory
Matt LeBlanc, Episodes
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy
Chris Colfer, Glee
Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family
Ed O’Neill, Modern Family
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family
Ty Burrell, Modern Family
Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men

[From HuffPo]

So no Charlie Sheen, but Jon Cryer got nominated, and there’s still a lot of love for Glee too, but I feel like it’s probably waning (hopefully). And Ed O’Neill finally got nominated for his work in Modern Family! Good. He was snubbed last year, to everyone’s shock – Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Eric Stonestreet get so much attention (well-deserved) for Modern Family, but Ed is a friggin’ veteran of television, and he’s doing an amazing job on that show. He’s my favorite character, joint with Sofia Vergara (Whoop!).

Oh CRAP! I just realized that The Closer was snubbed. Goddamn it. Kyra Sedgwick rules! The Closer is awesome!!!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Ah, the Hot Men of The Emmys. Hot Guy Emmys? Hot Guy Awards: The Emmys Edition? Whatever you want to call it, there was a spectacular dearth of truly hot men at the Emmys. Sure, there were cute guys, and many very talented men. But panty-droppers and leg-crossing hotties? There were only a few. So let’s start it off with a classic, Mr. George Clooney. I thought he came across as a bit smug during his award presentation (for the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award), and his bronzing is reaching George Hamiliton proportions. But I still get hot for George sometimes. I mean, he knows how to wear the hell out of a tux, and you know he loves the kinkiest sh-t out there. Also – I can’t find any photos of Elisabetta Canalis anywhere, although most sources have her backstage at the Emmys. Clooney didn’t let her walk the red carpet and wouldn’t answer questions about her – which I think means she’s on the way out. So Clooney will be single soon, maybe.

Aaron Paul is adorable. Beautiful eyes. I would love to see more of him. And he won his first Emmy, bitches!

Jon Hamm is just so lovely. Sigh… is there anything else to say about him, really? His dance moves are killer and he wears the f-ck out of a tux. Sweet Jesus. His girlfriend better watch her back.

Alexander Skarsgard was there, although he barely posed for any photos. But he did present with Paquin & Moyer. Rumor going around that he and Kate Bosworth are over… I might write about it in a sec. So… hello, Mr. Skarsgard.

I swoon a little when Stephen Moyer talks in his regular British accent. He’s very sexy in real life, although he’s pretty short. Little pocket rocket.

Nathan Fillion! I cosign his hotness. He’s lovely.

I love Eric Stonestreet. He’s amazing. And I’m so glad he won!

Matthew Morrison’s hair brings the funk. Hideous. He needs shorter hair, for real.

Speaking of funky hair, Al Pacino. Don’t get me wrong, I would still hit it (it’s Michael Corleone, after all), but is he wearing a hairpiece? Right?

John Krasinski should avoid bow-ties at all costs. They emphasize his ears.

I’ve never gotten hot for Matthew Fox, and his appearance was totally “meh.”

NPH & his partner David. NPH looks gorge, per usual. David has a bitchface, right?

Kevin Bacon needs to shave.

Stephen Colbert – I would hit it like a house on fire. LOVE.

Michael C. Hall’s post-cancer hair is funky as hell. But I would still hit it. He’s so cute.

I think CB gets hot for Joel McHale. I think he’s one of those dudes who does not look better in a tux or suit – he’s way sexier in casual clothes.

Ty Burrell is adorable, and I like his tux. He’s so fancy!

Michael Emerson will always be villainous to me, but he looks nice with his wife.

I saw Mark Salling interviewed by Ryan Seacrest, and can I just say? This kid is a moron. And he’s rude. And unprofessional. I really dislike him now.

Ricky should take off his sunglasses.

Jimmy Fallon did a great job, y’all. Props to him. I’m not hot for him, but he’s a cutie.

Tom Hanks looks rough, right? It’s not just my imagination?

Jim Parsons is adorable. Love his little Southern accent.

I don’t get hot for Bryan Cranston, but I do like him a hell of a lot. He seems like a sweet, generous man, and God bless.

Will Arnett is a handsome guy in his own right – so why do I chuckle every time I see him? I just look at his face and I start laughing.

Damn, is Hugh Dancy already over it? They JUST got married. He’s like, “This bitch.”

Seal’s open shirt was distracting and weird. Like he was a lounge singer or something.

Alan Cumming, once again bringing the funk. Love him.

Does John Lithgow turn anybody on? Freak. You, not him. He seems like a sweetheart. But he’s not making me hot.

BUCKY GUNTS!!!!! Let’s end it on him!

Header of Clooney, credit: WENN.

There were several hilarious bits from last night’s Emmys. One was the opening, which apparently came from the brain of Jimmy Fallon. Sidenote: He did a better job hosting than I expected. I hope he gets asked back, because he did a decent job and he deserves a lot of credit for that. Anyway, Jimmy organized this hilarious opening starring some of Glee kids, Tina Fey, Betty White and my lovely Jon Hamm. This video is worth it just to see The Hamm shake his ass, honestly. But the whole thing is rather hilarious, especially the Kate Gosselin thing.

Also – I was in fits of laughter for the Modern Family thing – where they inserted George Clooney in an attempt to revamp the show. Clooney still has a great sense of humor to participate in this:

Okay, one more: Ricky Gervais is always awesome. His Mel Gibson joke is AWESOME. And we are all Bucky Gunts.