I’m really getting burnt out on the Kardashians. It’s like a constant barrage of inane news about these twits, all converging to push their latest crappy products in our weary faces. So I’m torn on whether to even report on them today, but part of me still yearns to mock them. Kaiser calls them “gossip junk food,” and that really captures the sick-to-my-stomach feeling I get when I read too much about them, but here goes.

First we have a photo shoot they did with Annie Leibovitz to promote their new clothing line with Sears. The resulting lingerie promo photo, above, looks pieced together and Photoshopped to hell. They look like plastic dolls, basically. It also looks like someone did something to Kim’s face to highlight it so she stands out from her sisters. There’s a video of the moments they captured the raw footage for some of this mess. (Also above.) My favorite part is when Khloe looks sexy-scared. Here’s a screenshot of that moment.

Also, in the video Khloe looks like a total giant compared to her sisters. She towers over them and is about a head taller than Kim. Here’s a screenshot of that:

The ad photo shows Khloe as only a smidgen taller than Kim though. Ridiculous.

This is just what they do every day. They show up for stuff, try to act like they know fashion and styling, and put on their best sexy faces to sell stuff. Then some kid works some heavy-handed, very obvious Photoshop magic to try and make them look like “models.” It would be funny if it wasn’t so predictable.

In news about the Kardashians that’s easier to cover, Kim’s new husband-of-the-moment, Kris Humphries, had an awkward run-in with her sex tape partner, Ray J, in the first class cabin of a recent flight. Kris tried to act like he didn’t know who Ray J. was, but Ray J. called him out on it.

Also, yesterday I mentioned Kim’s really obnoxious cliche honeymoon photos in US Weekly. It gets better. There’s video, in which Kris plays grab-ass. The comparisons to her sex tape just write themselves.

Here’s Kim out yesterday in a hideous belted shirtdress in a jarring pattern that I wouldn’t even display as a hand towel. Kourtney looks slightly better in that full cobalt skirt and lace shirt, but check out her makeup!

Photo credit: Fame

Hailee Steinfeld, the 14 year-old Oscar nominee and True Grit star, has been named the new face of Miu Miu. She’ll probably do some print ads and be done with this, but this story bothers me. She’s so young and it just seems wrong to pluck a girl barely out of puberty and have her model. It happens all the time, I know, but we’ve gotten to know Hailee on her press tour and she’s so smart yet innocent somehow. I just want her to act and focus on school and not get involved in all this modeling and brand representation business.

Hailee Steinfeld is quickly becoming one of the most sought-after girls in Hollywood. The 14-year-old Oscar nominee has been named the new face of Miu Miu, Prada’s younger line, the fashion house announced Monday.

The True Grit star has stepped out in the brand on a number of occasions, including the BAFTA Awards in February, the SAG Awards in January and a Miss Golden Globe event in December.

Steinfeld even joined fellow Oscar nominee Jennifer Lawrence, 20, at the luxe line’s runway show during Paris Fashion Week in March.

[From US Weekly]

Kaiser reminded me that Hailee went to fashion week to the Miu Miu show and as this article mentions she’s worn the brand to The BAFTAs, The SAG Awards and another event. Hailee has a quirky sense of style, and Miu Miu caters to that. I’d rather see her do an ad for neutrogena or something, but she’s better than that and she’s earned a big high fashion modeling contract. I wish I could be happy for her, but I’m just kind of wary. It’s the mom in me.

Hailee in Miu Miu at the SAGs in January:

In Miu Miu at the BAFTA Awards in February:

At the Miu Miu show in February:

In Stella McCartney (bleh!) at the Met Gala earlier this month:

photo credit: WENN.com

Before I recount this story, let me say that the Fresh Diet publicist gave some super bitchy comments to Star, that we are not making fun of Carnie’s weight in any way and that this is about a dumb move she made that ended up costing her an endorsement deal. So Carnie was a spokesperson for a food delivery service called Fresh Diet. Instead of losing weight with the diet she put some on, which can probably be blamed on the fact that she started a side business making cheesecakes and sweets. (Some of Carnie’s products can be found at Melissa Joan Hart’s dessert shop in Sherman Oaks, CA, Sweet Harts.) The Fresh Diet people are pissed, and they’re not mincing words about it:

Carnie Wilson was let go as spokesperson for food-delivery service The Fresh Diet on Nov. 10 after losing only 19 lbs on the program – and then gaining it all back (plus some) after she launched her own cheesecake company.

“Carnie was promoting her cheesecakes while she was supposed to be only eating our three meals and two snacks a day,” The Fresh Diet publicity Ezzy Duchman tells Star of the 230-lb Wilson Phillips singer, who went from 300 lbs to 150 lbs after gastric bypass surgery in 1999. Although Carnie’s rep tells Star she parted ways with the Fresh Diet because her contract was up, Ezzy says, “We had to take her off the corporate website because she has not been a successful case. She didn’t stick to it, and she didn’t cut weight. We had to cut ties with her…

“It seemed that she was eating more food than just our meals. We always saw her baking on her reality show. We believe she wasn’t sticking to the plan and she wasn’t losing weight. If you’re baking cheesecake and selling it, then you can’t promote a diet company.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, December 6, 2010]

I get that it’s fulfilling to make your hobbies into a career (which is how I ended up gossiping about celebrities for a living). If you’re endorsing a diet service, though, it’s a no-brainer to realize that you shouldn’t be selling cakes on the side. (Or eating them, although that’s usually emotional.) Poor Carnie. This isn’t her only issue lately. She’s also suing the Game Show Network, which aired her reality show “Carnie Wilson: Unstapled” for $277,500 in unpaid wages. In the first episode of her show with aired in January, she cried to a personal trainer that she was having money problems and couldn’t afford his services. The show was canceled in March.

Carnie is shown on 11/9/10 with fellow Wilson Phillips members Wendy Wilson and Chynna Phillips. Credit: Owen Beiny / WENN.com. She’s also shown on 6/28/10. Credit: Nikki Nelson / WENN.com

I thought that SNL parody of Jamie Lee Curtis eating Activia and talking about how she couldn’t stop pooping was a total put on, but it turns out it’s not. In a new interview with Starpulse, Curtis admits that’s what the yogurt is for. She also takes a lot of pride in the fact that she’s helped so many people have regular bowel movements by endorsing the brand. I’m not a fan of Activia and designer yogurts because just about any no-name probiotic or active yogurt will do the trick (and you can easily make your own kefir with a culture) but whatever floats your uh, boat. (Dropping kids off at the pool whatever.) Eating more fiber and fruits and vegetables helps too, as does a cup of coffee. Here’s what Curtis says:

As the spokesperson for Activia Yogurt, Jamie Lee Curtis more famous than ever. Now people don’t just recognize her, they share their personal stories with her. Curtis loves all the attention Activia brings her.

“I have a job where I advertise yogurt that makes you poop and that people love and people tell me about their bowel movements every day,” Curtis said. “I do something where people come up to me anywhere I am in the world and they go, ‘Thank you. Thank you for Activia. It has changed my life.’ I know what they’re telling me. They’re telling me that the product that I endorse has helped them.”

Curtis even recorded testimonials on her phone. She played recordings from people all over the country stopping her to thank her for bringing Activia to their attention. “Now, I’m not a doctor but I actually feel the way a doctor gets thanked by a patient and I get it all the time. All I can tell you is I’ve been in a lot of movies, I’m the daughter of very famous people, I’m married to a very famous guy, I do a lot of things. Nothing else in my life, nothing else gets people coming up to me saying, ‘You’ve changed my life. Because of you and that product, it is off the charts, my life is different.’ I’m telling you. Now if you told me three years ago when I started doing advertisements for them that that was going to be the reality of my life, that I would be in airports and people would come up, hold my hand and thank me… You just have to wake up in the morning and know that something is going to happen.”

A lot of celebrities do product endorsement. Curtis just stumbled into the big one. “I never in my life thought when I first was asked by this company, Activia, Dannon, to be their representative, I really don’t think it was just like, ‘Oh, it’s going to be a check, I’m going to do it.’ I really thought, ‘Okay, wait a minute. I’m going to go out and talk about bowel movements and about how people’s digestive tracts work. Some work better than others and why and blah blah blah and that this will help.’ I really thought, ‘Okay, is that going to be weird? I mean, is that going to be weird? You’re an actor, you’re a writer. Is that going to just be a weird thing.’ It has turned out to be the most fun thing.”

[From Starpulse]

I guess if you’re going to do a product endorsement you may as well believe in it and be proud that you’re helping people. Who is coming up to Jamie Lee Curtis in airports and holding her hand like she’s some kind of messiah? I guess old people are. Can you imagine? “Thank you, Jamie Lee Curtis. Thank you for convincing me to eat yogurt so I can poop regularly.” I can see her patting their hands and looking at them with a steady understanding gaze. Jamie Lee Curtis, the goddess of regularity. She’s kind of awesome in my book.

Also – after I published this I read Curtis’ remarks again and am wondering – when she says that “You just have to wake up in the morning and know that something is going to happen,” does she mean do you know that you’re going to poop or that she knows that someone is going to tell her about the fact that they pooped?

SNL Parody

Activia yogurt commercial

Did you know that Lady Gaga is a hardcore tea-drinker? True story. I think I’ve read that in various interviews, but I never really thought to myself, “I bet that’s something interesting.” Don’t most singers drink a lot of tea? I know when I have a sore throat, some tea with honey works really well. Whatever, Gaga loves her cuppa tea. And now she’s got tea companies – already dwindling from a growing international consumer base of coffee drinkers – fighting it out to see who will get to sign Gaga to an exclusive endorsement deal. The front runner is Twinings (I have a couple of boxes in my cabinet!), and they want to create a new tea that Gaga can be the “face” of – “The Taste of Gaga”. What does Gaga taste like? Crusty old makeup and boob flames, I guess.

LADY GAGA is at the centre of a bidding war – to save tea from hot water. With sales of the traditional form of the drink falling, oddball GaGa – who famously loves a cuppa – has firms fighting to sign her as a brand ambassador.

In the past few weeks GaGa’s management have received offers from all the major tea brands. But at the moment it’s old English firm Twinings who seem most determined to sign her. The company, which dates back 300 years, has made GaGa a multi-million-pound offer to be the face of their specialist teas. If it comes off, it will be a marketing dream come true.

Apart from the Queen, GaGa is the most famous tea drinker in the world. And I couldn’t resist mocking her up as a traditional tea lady.

A source said: “Her management have received a load of offers from major tea companies but Twinings are the front-runners. They want to launch a new tea with her face on it and discussions are taking place at the top level. Names like The Taste Of GaGa are being batted about. The idea is to have tasting sessions in which she would participate.”

“The tasters are coming up with a tea with an oriental flavour. They want to market tea to a new, younger generation – particularly in America, and GaGa is making drinking tea cool again.”

Lady GaGa – real name Stefani Germanotta – is hardly ever without her trusty teacup and saucer. ELTON JOHN presented her with one of his priceless vintage teapots as a thank-you for performing at his White Tie And Tiara Ball last month. But it was her appearance on JONATHAN ROSS’s BBC1 show last year which made people much more aware of her obsession with the brew. She brought her own cup and saucer on to the show and sipped ginger tea throughout the interview.

Normally GaGa doesn’t like to rush into commercial endorsements – which I admire. She recently knocked back a number of perfume offers, whereas other celebrities can’t wait to get their mugs on a fragrance bottle.

[From The Sun]

I give Gaga credit for not going down the perfume route too – and I like what Gaga has chosen to promote thus far. She’s already taken a major role at Polaroid when she signed on as their global ambassador. Becoming the face of tea bags everywhere (giggle) could be an awesome move. I would buy “Taste of Gaga”. But only if it tasted like Lemon Zinger, or green, of Earl Grey.

Twit-pics courtesy of Gaga’s Twitter.

I get a lot of promotional e-mail that I usually ignore. It’s often for things like a kind of haircare product that a reality star allegedly uses or a brand of expensive jeans that several celebrities were seen wearing. When I got an e-mail detailing some products seen at Tori Spelling’s daughter Stella’s second birthday I thought it was just another one of those promotional e-mails where a company touts the fact that a celebrity chose to use their merchandise. (Often because the stuff was gifted to them.) Then I saw the photos of Stella’s party at Entertainment Tonight and decided to go back to the original e-mail. Tori and Dean didn’t just happen to use a particular product that they either picked out or had comped – they had her entire party sponsored. Check out the photos and read this press release and tell me this isn’t a sponsorship. However, the PR Firm that sent me this message wrote in a follow up that “We’re uncomfortable saying the party was sponsored by BornFree as it is inaccurate.”

This Saturday, Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott celebrated their daughter Stella’s 2nd birthday with a celebratory combination of Barbies, bright pink and BornFree products at their LA home. Infant and toddler partygoers were treated to an all pinked-out party replete with a several foot-high Barbie cake, BornFree Trainer Cups and the latest BornFree Twist’nPop Straw Cups.

BornFree is the world’s leading Bisphenol-A-free (BPA-free) baby brand and is adored by celebrities including Halle Berry, Heidi Klum, Naomi Watts, and Matthew McConaughey among others. Its safe materials range in infant and toddler products from baby bottles and cups to pacifiers and sterilizers.

[Received via e-mail]

A couple days ago, I received another e-mail from a PR company with a photo of Dean McDermott clutching another product while his son, Liam, gave him a thumbs up sign. That photo is below, and the e-mail accompanying read, in part “It was father/son bonding at the Muscle Milk Fitness Retreat on Saturday for Dean McDermott and his adorable son Liam. After eating too much birthday cake at daughter Stella’s 1st [sic] birthday party, Dean stopped by the Muscle Milk Fitness Retreat to burn off those extra calories and to get in a quick workout to kick off his special Father’s Day weekend.”

Ok, so in that instance Dean may have legitimately visited a gifting event and then he gamely posed for a photo with the product afterwards. That’s fine, and a lot of celebrities do that in order to get free stuff and services. The e-mail for the Muscle Milk came from a gmail address and the other was from a PR firm, so maybe those two recent product placement incidents for Tori and Dean aren’t related.

Is it ok to accept a sponsorship product placement for your two year-old daughter’s birthday party, though? I’m positive that’s what’s happening here because the damn cups are laid out prominently in every photo, including giant signs with their logo on them. The party’s color scheme even matches the cups.

We had a nice party for my son’s second birthday with friends and a cake and I remember it was the first time he really seemed to process everything and understand that it was his birthday. He wouldn’t have realized if the party was sponsored as what mattered to him was that his friends were there and he had a good time. Does Stella look like she’s having a good time? Hopefully these pictures were taken before the guests arrived and the kids started playing. They really make it look like Tori and Dean were more concerned with making a buck than making their daughter’s day special, though. Maybe I’m just being too skeptical. There’s something awesome yet scary about that giant Barbie birthday cake.

A Colorado pop artist who staged a stunt printing out clear “unfaithful” stickers and slapping them on Gatorade bottles in the Denver area is now facing federal charges. The guy could have better avoided being caught if he didn’t stupidly send a email to Gatorade announcing his plans and asking for cash. He also put his e-mail address on the labels, or at least an e-mail address of a “friend.” The “friend,” Jason Kay, granted an off camera interview to a local news station and claims it’s all the work of an “artist from out of town.” Kay is now facing federal product tampering charges, and this also brings up the worrisome issue of whether the drinks were tainted or not.

If all publicity really was good publicity, then Gatorade probably wouldn’t have minded so much about the unsolicited—and, as it turns out, totally illegal—ad campaign a Colorado pop artist launched this week.

But that axiom pretty much bit the dust yesterday, when bottle bootlegger Jason Kay was slapped with a felony charge and two misdemeanor counts after tampering with the labels on the sports beverage by affixing custom-made stickers featuring Tiger Woods and the word “unfaithful.”

The 38-year-old Kay, who apparently fessed up to the FDA investigators just as quickly as he did to the local news crews, could get five years in prison for his backfired experiment in pop art.

Not that he went down without a fight…

According to the police affidavit, obtained by the Smoking Gun, Kay exchanged emails with a rep for PepsiCo, Gatorade’s corporate overlord, on Sunday, asking to work out a closed-doors deal with the drink giant in which they would give him a per diem and pay his travel expenses to cities around the country to facilitate further label hijacking, all while publicly denying any connection to the viral vandal.

As for what would be in it for Gatorade? “Positive press,” of course.

In his email to the company, Kay said the project’s continuation would be “good for Gatorade and good for art.”

But not, it turns out, good for his personal freedom, as the company didn’t exactly bite on his offer.

Instead, he now faces charges of introducing adulterated or misbranded food into interstate commerce, mutilating or destructing a food label, and tainting a consumer product with the intention of causing serious injury to a business.

He faces five years in federal prison if he’s convicted of the offense. Guess you don’t have to be a tiger to sport stripes.

[From E! Online]

In a way it’s really clever to re-make Gatorade bottles mocking Tiger, but the guy and his “friend” should have sold them on eBay or made a parody website. Instead, they got the feds on their case by stupidly forcing them on an unsuspecting public. Maybe this incident will help bring the point home to Gatorade and Tiger’s other sponsors, even the ones who have defected, what an expensive public relationship disaster it is to be associated with him in any way. I see the Tiger Woods scandal as a wake up call to companies not to rely too much on a single spokesperson to define their brand.

Did you know that Lady Gaga was just named the new creative director for Polaroid? She even got business cards for the gig, which is kind of amazing – it’s not just an endorsement deal, Gaga may have to attend some business meetings and discuss future ad campaigns and look at spreadsheets and stuff. What’s next? Jennifer Lopez being named to the board of GE?

Anyway, these are new photos of Gaga at the Las Vegas Consumer Electronics Show, where she not only unveiled a new look, but she came out as the new representative of Polaroid. Not only will Gaga be the Creative Director, she’s got another title: “inventor of specialty products”. God only knows. What do you think of her new look? It reminds me of those strange and wacky hats that upper-crust British women wear. Kind of like the headpiece Camilla Parker Bowles wore for her wedding to the Prince of Wales. It also reminds me of religious iconography – like Gaga is the Sun Queen or the Virgin Mary or something. Whatever.

Lady GaGa has grown into a style icon over the last twelve months – and not without good reason.

The singer’s diverse and outlandish wardrobe, which has included fishnets, stockings and PVC catsuits, has regularly wowed onlookers.

But 23-year-old outdid even herself on Thursday when she arrived at an event in Las Vegas wearing a hat made out of her own hair.

The Bad Romance singer’s hair piece, which was designed to look like a straw hat, ensured she was the centre of the attention at the annual Consumer Electronics Show.
The star finished off her eye-catching outfit with in a sheer black mini-dress.

Lady GaGa attended the event to discuss her role as the new creative director for a speciality line of products for Polaroid.

“Well, I’m definitely a Polaroid camera girl,” she said.

“I really believe in the lifestyle and injecting the things that I love into [this]. For me, what I’m really excited about is bringing back the artistry and the nature of Polaroid.”

[From Entertainmentwise]

WENN notes that Gaga also introduced Monster Cable’s “Headphones by Gaga” at the Monster booth at the trade show… so expect your gay best friend to want “Headphones by Gaga” for his birthday, just FYI. I’m also going to give Gaga some credit – when she signs on to do something, she puts all of her effort into it. That’s probably what makes her such a good spokesperson, and why she got the Polaroid gig.

Lady Gaga in Vegas on January 7, 2010, credit: WENN. Additional photo of Gaga and her business card, from Gaga’s Twitter.

Luxury watchmaker Tag Heuer has confirmed that it will not drop scandalous golf star Tiger Woods from its ad campaigns entirely. The Swiss company put up an image on their website stating that they “stand with Tiger Woods.” They mentioned in a brief press statement that they’ll cut back Tiger’s ads but won’t dump him entirely.

TAG Heuer confirms today that it will continue its relationship with Golf n°1 Tiger Woods but will respect his desire of privacy by modifying his role in the coming months’ marketing programs.

Tiger Woods became a TAG Heuer brand ambassador in 2002. The relationship between the leader in prestigious sports watches and chronographs since 1860 and Golf virtuoso Tiger Woods has always been extremely professional and productive.

“The partnership with Tiger Woods will continue,” said Jean-Christophe Babin, President and CEO of TAG Heuer, “but we will downscale the use of his image in certain markets for a period of time, depending on his decision about returning to professional golf. We will continue to actively support the Tiger Woods Foundation.”

[From TagHeuer.com via TMZ]

As TMZ points out, The CEO of Tag Heuer previously said that they probably wouldn’t work with Tiger. “We recognize Tiger Woods as a great sportsman but we have to take account of the sensitivity of some consumers in relation to recent events.” Compare this thoughtful statement to Nike’s chairman, who called the scandal a “minor blip” that “the media is making a big deal out of.”

I checked out prices for Tag Heuer watches, and the average price seems to be around $1,200, with prices as low as $600 and as high as $3,800. These are watches for people who can afford them, primarily rich older guys who won’t be quick to condemn Tiger for getting some on the side. Maybe some lawyers got involved and reminded Tag Heuer that there’s no morality clause in their contract.

Tiger Woods is really ubiquitous and I didn’t notice how much stuff he endorses until after the scandal hit. I was buying my son a Wii game for Christmas when I saw the unintentionally hilarious cover for the Tiger Woods PGA tour featuring Tiger making an “O” face. That game will probably remain on the shelves for a while and maker Electronic Arts has said “its business strategy with the golfer remain[s] unchanged.” Tiger has been dropped from campaigns with Gillette, and Accenture. Gatorade discontinued their Tiger Woods drink. AT&T is “evaluating its relationship” with him.

This huge scandal isn’t just affecting the mega-rich guy who made more in endorsements than any other sportsman in history. It could also help sink public and corporate interest in the sport of golf. There’s a great editorial in yesterday’s LA Times in which writer Dan Niel concludes that “the branding opportunities of professional golf have been utterly vacated by Tiger Woods’ philandering.” Young, attractive “good guy” Tiger heralded a new popularity for the sport and his massive embarrassing affairs could help sink it. Who will be the face of golf now?

Oh, it’s been a while since we had some juicy Gooptastic sanctimony! Hurray! So, here’s the Goop gossip: Gwyneth Paltrow wants to end her modeling contract with Estee Lauder because she needs to focus on – get this – her Goop brand. We’ve reported before on Gwyneth’s dreams of becoming some sort of goopy version of Martha Stewart and/or Oprah Winfrey, with her own line of linens, cookbooks, lifestyle items like… candles, maybe? But now The Daily Mail is reporting that Gwyneth is no longer interested in cashing Estee Lauder’s million dollar checks, because she find the hours spent being “the face” of a cosmetics brand to be too grueling. And when I say “hours”, I mean literally hours in any given month Gwyneth has to spend doing something Estee Lauder-related.

That’s not all! It seems that after some rumors that husband Chris Martin didn’t care for Goop (the website and newsletter, not his wife), he’s now fully behind Gwyneth’s Goop-brand dreams. A source told The Daily Mail, “Chris is a respected and canny businessman in his own right and he urged her to cut some of her corporate ties in order to focus on her strengths.” Her strengths? Like… going to parties and acting snotty? Is that going to be part of the Goop brand? Gwyneth has another reason for stepping out of her Estee Lauder contract – she doesn’t want to still be representing a cosmetics brand “into her fifties” says a source. Gwyneth thinks women in their fifties representing cosmetics is “just pathetic.” Oh, Goop!

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow is set to end her lucrative contract with cosmetics giant Estee Lauder so she can focus on her own lifestyle brand Goop.com.

The £1million-a-year deal has been the jewel in Gwyneth’s sponsorship crown since she replaced Elizabeth Hurley as the younger, fresher face of Estee Lauder in 2005.

‘But now she wants to expand her personal influence to become an Oprah Winfrey-like lifestyle guru via her website,’ says a source. ‘She wants to become a brand as herself and she would have been limited if she was tied down to this cosmetics deal. Ending it was a priority for her.’

Gwyneth’s husband, Coldplay singer Chris Martin, 32, is said to be keen on the idea and has been encouraging his 36-year-old wife to make the break.

‘Chris is a respected and canny businessman in his own right and he urged her to cut some of her corporate ties in order to focus on her strengths,’ says the source.

‘Gwyneth doesn’t want to be one of those women who rely on a make-up contract well into their 50s to stay in the public eye. To her, that’s just pathetic.’

Goop is set to be a burgeoning business empire, with Gwyneth planning to release a lifestyle book annually, based on the healthy eating, make-up and styling articles she has posted on its website – including the controversial claim that shampoo causes cancer and harms children.

‘Gwyneth will take her lifestyle advice to another medium when she launches a cookbook next year based on long-held family recipes,’ adds my source.

‘She’s already partnered with trainer Tracy Anderson on exercise videos and a sports club in New York and she has many other irons in the fire, including a follow-up series to her TV culinary tour of Spain with her close friend, celebrity chef Mario Batali, which was shown on the American PBS network.’

But Gwyneth’s spokesman said: ‘It’s a bit soon to discuss her renegotiations with Estee Lauder but her intention would not be to end her relationship with them to concentrate on Goop.’

[From The Daily Mail]

Here’s the thing about Martha Stewart and Oprah Winfrey… they know what the hell they’re doing. Those women have been at this empire-building game for a long time, and they’ve got the scars to prove it. Here’s another thing Martha and Oprah have on Gwyneth: they are a million times more likable than The Goop. With Oprah, her flaws as a woman, her struggles with her weight, her own history of abuse, makes her the flawed icon women love to embrace, because women think “she won’t judge me”. Martha, on the other hand, is an anal-retentive perfectionist who manages to teach “lifestyle” stuff without making women feel like crap for not already knowing how to make the perfect meringue.

Both Oprah and Martha represent – in varying degrees, in different ways – the Benevolent Teacher. Oprah’s message to women is “I’ll help live your dreams.” Martha’s message seems to be “I want everybody to be able to bake a cake, because it’s so much fun.” Gwyneth’s message seems to be “You’re fat and your clothes are ugly, maybe I can help you if you’re rich enough.” Better stick with Estee Lauder, Goopy.

Here’s Gwyneth in the front row at her husband Chris Martin’s show with Coldplay in West Palm Beach, Florida on 5/15/09. Credit: INFPhoto.com