First – does anyone else think they see an implant scar underneath Megan’s boob? I just noticed that when I was looking through these photos. Anyway, I’m sorry I didn’t have this before, when I did the Megan Fox fashion post this morning. She’s such a dumbass, I have a love/hate relationship with writing about her. Anyway, earlier this week we heard the dumb story about how she and David Silver Brian Austin Green got re-engaged. Apparently, BAG got her a two-carat (I know, cheap – for Hollywood) diamond, which he then promptly lost, or she lost it, or whatever. Something about how she was jumping up and down and the ring came off in the sand and now no one can find it. It sounded suspicious, like Jeremy London suspicious. Anyway, Megan just wants to let all of her fan boys know that just because she’s engaged, it doesn’t change anything. Probably because she doesn’t sound like she wants to actually marry BAG. Instead, she wore some ugly black ring to the premiere last night (probably to symbolize the death of her career).

Guess Megan Fox hasn’t replaced her lost engagement ring yet. She showed up wearing an enormous black ring on her right hand at Thursday’s premiere of Jonah Hex in Hollywood. (The new Us Weekly, out now, reports that Fox lost the 2-carat ring on a Hawaiian beach just hours after Brian Austin Green’s proposal.

Even without a new diamond to show off, Fox, 24, gushed to UsMagazine.com about her wedding — even if it’s still a long ways off.

“It’s going to be years!” she told Us of her walk down the aisle. “I’m going to be 44 when I get married!”

Whenever the big day happens, Green, 36, will be a hands-on groom, Fox said. “He is in on the planning. He wants to be!”

The star also clarified to reporters that their latest news is “really not a re-engagement… nothing is different.”

The couple began dating in 2004 but called off their previous two-year engagement in February 2009.

“We are just even more committed to each other and we always have been,” Fox cooed Thursday. “I am more in love with him now than I was in the beginning.”

[From Us Weekly]

“It’s going to be years! I’m going to be 44 when I get married.” Us Weekly probably missed the second part of the quote: “… so all of my fan boys can still masturbate to me, it’s okay, that’s my career now!” Whenever I hear Megan talking about BAG, I really do wonder what their relationship is really like. He rarely shows up to any of her stuff, ever. Not that not showing up is an indicator of him not caring – but it’s interesting. Plus, she’s so insecure. Painfully so. Do you think he’s the kind of boyfriend who builds her up and makes her feel good about herself, or do you think he likes her to be insecure, thinking it will keep her tied to him? Eh. I can’t believe I’m analyzing it this much.

To give credit where it’s due, Bossip starting reporting that Alicia Keys had “a gut full of Swizz” three weeks ago. Photos of Alicia on tour have revealed a growing bump, so “Bump Watch: Homewrecker Edition” was already in full effect (I can’t help it, now whenever I see Alicia, I hear CB’s words “Dumb homewrecker” next to her face). In any case, Alicia stepped out last night looking severely knocked up, and another round of rumors was going to commence until a “friend” confirmed the news to People and Life & Style - Alicia and boyfriend Swizz Beatz are expecting their first child together, and they’re engaged.

A wedding and a baby are on the way for Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz.

The musicians “are expecting a baby and are engaged to be married in a private ceremony later this year,” reps for the couple confirm to PEOPLE.

The announcement comes after the two, together since fall 2008, attended Thursday night’s Black Ball in London, which benefits Keys’s Keep a Child Alive charity.

“They’re very happy,” says a friend of the couple.

Rapper Swizz Beatz (real name: Kasseem Dean), 31, has produced music for Keys, 29, and worked with artists including Jay-Z, Beyoncé, Jennifer Lopez and Gwen Stefani.

It will be the first marriage for Grammy-winner Keys – and their first child together. Swizz Beatz is father to Kasseem Jr., 3, and son Prince Nasir, 9, both from previous relationships.

[From People]

Yeah, I know people have money riding on when Swizz is going to leave her like he left his other baby-mamas, but I actually think he’s going to stick around for Alicia. She’s worth more than him, right? And she’s a bigger star. She’ll put him on the map. He’s sticking with it. So congratulations to the happy couple. I think Alicia will be a great mom, I really do.

Alicia and Swizz on May 22, 26 & 27, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Time for yet more bullsh-t Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart stories. I was surprised with yesterday’s post when many of you think they’re a PR couple. I think they’re for real – as in, they are really dating, but nothing hardcore, like OK! Magazine’s endless “they’re getting married and having a baby” stories. This week’s story, as you can tell, is all about how Sparkles proposed marriage to Kristen. Oh, sorry, did you get the wrong impression about that? According to Jezebel’s tabloid round-up (because OK won’t even put this drivel online), “Rob told Kristen that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, and proposed… that they’ll get married one day.” So basically, he told her that he’d like to marry her at some point. They’re engaged to be engaged.

OK! Magazine – This is exclusive, meaning “made up.” Robert Pattinson was late to the set because he’d gone to a strip club and Kristen Stewart got pissed. So Rob told Kristen that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, and proposed… that they’ll get married one day.

He can’t imagine being with anyone else, etc. This story trails off into random factoids, like: Some scenes in Eclipse had to be reshot because test audiences noticed that KStew’s hairpiece was askew; she had to get a new wig that would stay on. Also, a scene in which Bella professes her love for Jacob — and kisses him — had to be reshot because tween audiences thought it was too racy.

Oh, and: RPatz has his personal security team clear out his hotel room when he checks out so that his dirty socks don’t end up on eBay.

[From OK! Magazine via Jezebel]

Totally boring. Meanwhile, Us Weekly has an interesting little anecdote that I think is probably more “truthy”. In the story (teased on the cover) called “Rob & Kristen: How She Tortures Him” we find out that K-Stew and Sparkles fight a lot and “she snaps at him in public. And she’s also supermoody. Yet he dotes on her, and is protective of her.” Kristen Stewart: Mega-Bitch For No Reason.

Lastly, we have Ashley Green’s interview in Seventeen Magazine, trying to convince us that she‘s worth a multi-million dollar paycheck for Breaking Dawn. Yeah. Here‘s what she says about Sparkles: “When I met Rob, I didn’t think twice about him. He’s really attractive, but that chemistry wasn’t there. [He just] doesn’t understand girls. He gets a lot of attention from them, but he doesn’t quite understand it because before ‘Twilight,’ he was just a guy from ‘Harry Potter.” Whatever.

OK! Magazine cover courtesy of Jezebel.

A couple of weeks ago, Chelsy Davy was allowed to come to Prince Harry’s helicopter pilot graduation, and in coming to the big event, she began a new round of rumors about her possible engagement and marriage to Prince Harry. Harry is only 25 years old, and Chelsy is only 24, so it’s not like anyone is tapping their watch muttering “Get on with it.” Plus, they’ve broken up before, and seem to have a relationship based on passion and great sex, rather than “let’s build a future” together. Still, according to Star Magazine, Harry really wants to get Chelsy down the aisle. He doesn’t even care if he gets married before his older brother, who seems to be the one that people really want to settle down.

England’s royal family may be getting a new addition ASAP! Insiders reveal that Prince Harry wants to make on-again love Chelsy Davy, 24, his bride before he ships off to serve in the army in Afghanistan next year.

The news comes as wedding buzz is also mounting for 25-year-old Harry’s older brother, Prince William, and his girlfriend Kate Middleton. Even though planning two royal nuptials would put a lot of pressure on palace staff, Harry feels that “he doesn’t have time to sit around and wait for his brother to make up his mind,” says the source.

“Harry is completely committed to Chelsy… and he’s been to Afghanistan before. He knows only too well that life really can be too short to worry about protocol.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

Wait, he’s going back to Afghanistan? What? That’s doubtful, just because this is the first I’m hearing of it, and I doubt it would be announced so cavalierly in Star Magazine if it was the truth. That being said, I’m sure Harry would like to go back. He seems to really wish he could be just a normal soldier, and not have to worry about protocol and being “The Spare”.

Meanwhile, The Daily Mail is reporting that Chelsy has invited Harry, Prince William and Kate Middleton down to South Africa for the World Cup game that begins in a few weeks. Harry and William are already scheduled to be in-country, and Chelsy was nice enough to invite Kate to come down too. My guess? Waity Katy will probably come. She seems to drop anything and everything to spend even just a moment with her prince.

Hot Vampire Diaries star Paul Wesley is no longer available. Hollywood Life reports that Wesley, 27, has either secretly married actress Torrey DeVitto, 25, of One Tree Hill, or is just calling her his “wife”. DeVitto plays Nanny Carrie on the show. I don’t watch One Tree Hill, but I’m a Vampire Diaries fan and saw most of the season finale last night. (I didn’t watch the last five minutes yet, which are waiting for me on the DVR, so if there was a cliffhanger I haven’t seen it! The part I did see resolved most of the major issues, and that’s all I’ll say for fear of revealing spoilers.)

On Vampire Diaries, Wesley plays beefcake vampire Stefan, the love interest to lead Nina Dobrev’s Elena. (My husband’s name is Stefan spelled the same way and it bugs me that they pronounce it “Steffan” on the show. It’s pronounced “Ste-fawn” when it’s spelled like that.) Ian Somerhalder is Stefan’s evil scheming vamp brother, Damon, who is turning out to be much more complicated and with more of a conscience then we initially thought. Sometimes Vampire Diaries is cheesy in terms of how many hookups there are and how over the top it is (I don’t buy witch Bonnie’s sudden magical powers) but any issues I have with the show are minor. I’m more than pacified by the amount of beautiful men.

Anyway, getting back to Wesley, he supposedly called DeVitto (she’s not related to Danny DeVito with one “T”, I checked) his “wife” at Hollywood Life’s Hot Hollywood party last night. DeVitto was spotted with a ring on her finger, but Wesley wasn’t wearing one. I’m thinking that just means they’re engaged and that he’s calling her “wife” as a term of endearment. They could be married already though and he’s not wearing a ring, but my vote is on engaged.

Did Paul Wesley slip and tell us that he and fellow CW star Torrey have gone and gotten married?

Hm… We can think of one more reason why Nina Dobrev, 21, won’t be hooking up with her Vampire Diaries co-star Paul Wesley — he’s married! We had heard that Paul, 27, was engaged to Torrey DeVito, 25 (whom you One Tree Hill fans should remember as Nanny Carrie) but we were SHOCKED when we overheard him introduce her as his WIFE at HollywoodLife.com’s Young Hollywood Awards on May 13 at the Wilshire Ebell Theatre in Los Angeles.

The two kept things pretty quiet at the start of the night — he walked the red carpet alone, and she passed on it altogether — but the couple got super cozy backstage. Though his ring finger was bare, we spotted a shiny ring on her’s, right before the couple went outside for a smoke… and he let her wear his jacket.

We can’t imagine why these two haven’t stepped out as man and wife until this point, but we’re THRILLED they finally did it at the Young Hollywood Awards. Celebrate your love, you two — we couldn’t be happier for the both of you!

[From Hollywood Life]

In terms of who Wesley’s on screen love interest, Nina Dobrev, is dating, I’ve heard she’s actually hooking up with Ian Somerhalder. I tried to google that and didn’t come up with much more than a sighting together at the airport and the fact that they once took a helicopter together though, so it might not be true.

Congratulations to Wesley and DeVitto on their engagement/maybe marriage! I’m not familiar with DeVitto at all, but in her 2008 photo on Wikipedia she’s wearing an engagement ring. She was either engaged before or has been engaged/married to Wesley for a while. They make a cute couple!

I don’t know what’s gotten into Reese Witherspoon. Like, two seconds after Reese and Jake Gyllenhaal broke up, Reese fell into the arms of Jim Toth, a talent agent with CAA. Almost immediately, Reese and Jim seemed to be totally serious, and Reese seems to have no qualms about being photographed with him, and to have him spend time with her kids. There were rumors that Reese and Jim had become “hot and heavy” very quickly and now OK! Magazine is reporting that Reese is already prepared to marry him:

Reese Witherspoon and boyfriend Jim Toth are enjoying an incredibly passionate relationship. “It’s very hot and messy, and she loves the excitement of it,” a source close to Reese, 34, tells OK!.

And while a wedding is not on the immediate horizon, Reese is already window-shopping for a ring.

“Reese micromanages everything,” says her friend. “Of course she’ll want to give some input on the ring she’ll be wearing for the rest of her life.”

But while Reese has been eyeing diamonds, friends say she is still waiting for Jim, a Hollywood agent, to take the lead.

“She isn’t going to propose to him or anything like that — she’s still a Southern girl at heart,” says the source.

“But she has definitely dropped a few hints and he’s absolutely head over heels for her.”

[From OK! Magazine]

Once again, I really don’t think Reese is a “hot and messy” kind of girl, but I’ll buy that the sex is good and she’s prepared to nail that sh-t down. And it really would be a good match, I think. Jim seems into her and he doesn’t seem at all nervous about spending time with her kids – that’s serious. Of course, the constant rumor about Reese’s breakup with Jake (besides the gay rumors) was that Jake wanted to get married and Reese didn’t. Why is she ready now? Is it the guy or the timing?

Reese & Jim in LA on May 8, 2010. Credit: Bauer-Griffin.

A few weeks ago, Tina Brown (at the Daily Beast) broke an interesting story/theory – that Buckingham Palace was planning to announce Prince William’s engagement to Kate Middleton in June. Tina Brown’s theory was mostly based on the fact that the palace has nothing scheduled for two consecutive days in June, and as far as I know, that’s still the case. I said at the time that a June engagement announcement wasn’t really the worst theory, and now other publications are picking up on this theory. People’s cover this week is about the same thing – that after seven/eight years together, William has finally found his “princess”. Here’s more:

Prince William may not have popped the question yet to longtime girlfriend Kate Middleton – but that hasn’t curbed anybody’s enthusiasm about their future union. In fact, Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, was happy to share some advice for Middleton based on her 10-year marriage to Prince Andrew.

“Remember that you’re marrying a beautiful man you are in love with and remember to make time for him,” she told Popeater, “because I didn’t. Andrew and I spent 40 days together for the first five years of our marriage. I didn’t know that would be the case, but figured it out two weeks after I was married.”

Speculation that Prince William and Middleton will wed reached a fever pitch earlier this month after Tina Brown reported on the Daily Beast that the dates June 3 and 4 on the Buckingham Palace calendar were “mysteriously blocked out” for the possible announcement of their engagement, with nuptials to follow in November.

For more on Prince William and Kate Middleton’s marriage plans, including when he’ll pop the question and how she won his heart, check the newest issue of PEOPLE on stands this Friday.

[From People]

So this sh-t still isn’t anywhere near being confirmed. But now no one is thinking about the British elections, are they? Well, I am. Just think, a new Tory government, and a new royal wedding. The British people will be kicking it, old-school 80s style. Margaret Thatcher will be making an appearance any moment now.

BTW: Do you like the part where People Mag is going to tell us how Kate “won his heart”? I believe it’s called “waiting him out”.

People Magazine cover courtesy of CoverAwards Last photo courtesy of WENN.

As I was looking at some articles about how Jude Law and Sienna Miller are probably engaged again, I saw this funny piece about Jude splurging on $3,000 for beauty products while he was in New York. This comes from Digital Spy, and they source the story from the National Enquirer, but I read last week’s Enquirer, and it wasn’t in there. So God knows where it came from, but it’s still funny, and probably true:

Jude Law has reportedly spent over $3,000 (£1,960) on beauty products during a shopping trip in New York.

The actor splashed out thousands on anti-ageing cosmetics during a recent course of retail therapy at Nordstrom, according to the National Enquirer.

The publication quotes one eyewitness as saying: “Wow, his beauty products are more expensive than mine. He’ll be wrinkle-free for life.”

[From Digital Spy]

I believe Jude Law probably takes his upkeep very seriously. He probably exfoliates every day, and moisturizes, and uses awesome eye cream. And it’s probably all very expensive. He deserves it!

Anyway, these photos are of Jude and Sienna Miller out in Los Angeles last night. Since getting back together last December, they have avoided the paparazzi for the most part, but they seem to be stuck in LA, unable to fly to England, because of the Iceland volcano stuff. Sienna doesn’t look too thrilled about the state of things, but Jude looks pleased with himself for some reason. In any case, there’s a new round of engagement rumors about these two, but according to The Daily Mail, they aren’t going to announce anything until the summer:

There are fresh rumours that they pair are engaged again after Sienna was seen sporting the engagement ring that she was last pictured wearing after Jude gave her it in 2004.

However, Sienna has recently been spotted wearing the vintage diamond ring on her right hand.

A source said: ‘They do not want to make the engagement official which is why Sienna is wearing the ring on the wrong hand. They will probably make an announcement this summer – they just want to make sure everything is perfect this time. They are keeping it secret, but are very happy and really hope it’s going to work out.’

While Sienna’s family initially had reservations about her getting back with Jude who cheated on her with his children’s nanny, he has regained their trust according to family friends.

An insider said: ‘Jude has been to visit Sienna’s parents and her sister Savannah, and has worked hard to redeem himself.’

Jude has three children with ex-wife Sadie Frost – Rafferty, 12, and Rudy, seven, and daughter Iris, nine – and a 7-month-old daughter, Sophia, from a brief fling with model Samantha Burke.

[From The Daily Mail]

I’m actually kind of happy for Jude and Sienna. She was too young for him when they first started dating, in late 2003. Now they’re both matured a little, and Sienna has lived more outside of her relationship with Jude, and I think she’s probably more ready to be in a relationship of equals. For his part, I think Jude really loves Sienna, he just has a zipper problem. Hopefully getting that Samantha Burke pregnant made him take stock of his womanizing ways. Will they work it out? I can see them getting married. I can see Sienna having Jude’s baby. Beyond that, I give it three or four years, at most.

Jude and Sienna in LA on April 19, 2010. Credit: PCN.

I have no idea if any of this is true, but I really hope it is. Us Weekly and gossip columnist Liz Smith are running with the rumor that Elizabeth Taylor is set walk (or be wheeled) down the aisle for the ninth time. According to sources, Taylor recently got engaged to Jason Winters (the African-American dude in the photo above, holding her hand). Winters is 49 years old. And Elizabeth is 78 years old, and hanging in there despite reportedly telling friends and family that she didn’t want any more life-saving surgeries. Here’s more:

Dame Elizabeth Taylor may soon be walking down the aisle … for the ninth time.

A source close to the Oscar-winning actress, 78, tells UsMagazine.com exclusively that Taylor recently got engaged to Jason Winters, 49, of Sterling Winters Management. Taylor — who now predominantly uses a wheelchair — and Winters — who recently became Janet Jackson’s new manager — have yet to confirm the news.

Says another insider: “It’s no secret that they’ve been together forever and are in love, so it wouldn’t be a surprise if they were engaged. Right now they are keeping it between them.”

In 2007, British papers reported that Taylor and Winters took a romantic vacation together at a Hawaiian resort. Taylor spent “the evening caressing the face of [Winters],” reported the Evening Standard. At the time, the paper quoted a source as saying: “She didn’t think she’d fall in love again, but since Jason came into her life that has all changed.”

The screen legend has also gushed about Winters to gossip columnist Liz Smith, describing him as “one of the most wonderful men I’ve ever known, that’s why I love him.” He even reportedly bought a house for them.

The screen legend has been married eight times — twice to love Richard Burton. Her last union, to construction worker Larry Fortensky, ended after five years in 1996.

[From Us Weekly]

Well, whatever makes that old broad happy, in my opinion. Liz has seen it all, gotten drunk with it all, f-cked it all, married it all, got jewelry from it all and divorced it all. If she wants to get hitched again, God bless. But everyone is getting a whiff of fabulous from Mr. Winters, correct? I think Liz may be marrying a man who loves men. But, that’s probably not the worst thing, honestly. It’s how I imagine my golden years – married to a fabulous younger man who will cook for me and keep a nice garden and hold my hand as we walk a red carpet.

By the way, although this will be her ninth marriage, it’s her eighth husband. She married Burton twice.

A few days ago, ex-pat uber-royalist Tina Brown announced an interesting conspiracy theory on her site, The Daily Beast. Tina – who wrote one of the best books about Princess Diana (in my opinion) called The Diana Chronicles – claims that Prince William and Kate Middleton will be announcing their engagement in June, and will likely plan a late Fall/early Winter wedding. Tina’s proof? Buckingham Palace has two consecutive days in June where mysteriously zero events are scheduled, meaning that no one can schedule any media-related events because everyone knows people will only be paying attention to William and Kate? It’s actually a half-decent theory, actually. Here’s more:

Will they or won’t they? London buzzed yesterday with Tina Brown’s new clues about when Prince William and Kate Middleton will announce their long-awaited engagement.

When British Prime Minister Gordon Brown traveled to Buckingham Palace on Tuesday morning to ask Her Majesty’s permission to dissolve parliament and call a general election for May 6, I wonder if another important date on the queen’s calendar was on the conversational agenda.

Buckingham Palace has hardly embraced my suggestion yesterday that June is a likely date for the engagement announcement at last of the 27-year-old Prince William and his patient squeeze, 28-year-old Kate Middleton. A highly placed source in royal circles said that two days in June have been mysteriously blocked out on the palace diaries—June 3 and 4. If June were indeed to be the announcement date, a wedding itself would probably follow in November, like the wedding of Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, who married at Westminster Abbey that cold, damp November day in 1947.

A June engagement and winter wedding would make sense all around for the complicated royal priorities. It would come after the turmoil of the Parliamentary general election is over and a new (or the same) prime minister is installed in Downing Street. It would fit neatly with the impending transition in William ‘s Royal Air Force career transitions. In January 2011, he leaves the RAF helicopter school at Shawbury and becomes an operational pilot ready for a three-year search-and-rescue tour of duty. An announcement in 2011—another possibility—would run into two landmark moments for the Queen and Prince Philip: Philip will be 90 in June 2011, and the queen celebrates her diamond jubilee—60 years on the throne—in February 2012. Their closeness to their grandson, especially Philip, makes them eager, I am told, to see William settled in matrimony.

But perhaps even more important in planning a winter wedding for the royals is to avoid any throwback seasonable resonance with the legendary February engagement and July wedding of William’s parents, Charles and Diana. Since the inquest into Di’s death was completed two years ago, the palace has been able to damp down considerably the relentless resurfacing of her persistent ghost.

Where will the wedding be held? Di phobia, I predict, will rule out St. Paul’s Cathedral. No bride, even one as good-looking as Ms. Middleton, could compete with those iconic images of the 20-year-old Princess of Wales unfurling her 25-foot silk taffeta train to the world’s cameras on the red carpeted steps of St. Paul’s. St. George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle is a possibility and very magical if the wedding is held near Christmas. However, it might evoke the too recent debacle of the Windsor wedding of Charles and Camilla, when—since the queen could not attend a registry office wedding featuring a bride who had been (to put it mildly) divorced—the ceremony was banished to the Guildhall nearby.

The obvious top-tier choice is Westminster Abbey, which seats 2,000 and is the final resting place of 17 monarchs but it feels unfashionably grand for the studiedly modern casualness of William and Kate, the daughter, as the press never stops reminding her, of a commoner. Kate herself may be shrewd enough not to want the full royal Monty. Quietly ambitious and gently pushy, she has cannily held her position in the life of England’s most eligible bachelor for seven long years of female competition and relentless press coverage. She knows she will get her shot at Westminster Abbey when she is finally crowned queen, and that’s always been the finale Ms. Middleton has played for.

So where does that leave as a venue? The couple are both independent enough of tradition to surprise us. The British Isles are awash with the choice of beautiful historic churches, abbeys, and cathedrals where one king or another has tied the knot and bestowed a royal precedent. (Note to royal couple: Stay away from Canterbury Cathedral, where Thomas à Becket was whacked near the stairs to the crypt.)

Of course it is always possible that as an alternative to November, the couple braves the ghost of Di’s rhythms for a Christmas announcement and a June 2011 wedding t o coincide with Prince Philip’s birthday on Friday, June 10, 2011, which will bring an influx of foreign royals and relatives. The Queen is very cost-conscious these days and she may feel that three big royal celebrations in a row in three years—wedding, birthday, and diamond jubilee in 2012—will excite press flak for over spending. Moreover, there is talk that William will be posted to Northern Ireland in September once his RAF training is finished. Royal watchers believe it is unlikely he would be sent as a married man.

Whether it is this year or next however, the national mood would benefit from an announcement—whatever similarities William may want to avoid, between his own wedding and that of his parents, he can’t escape the national mood. Just as in 1981, when England was in a shabby, complaining frame of mind after four and a half years of a sclerotic socialist government followed by a grim Thatcherite arrival, so the mood of England now, after 13 years of Labour in power, is mean, mean, mean. With 8 percent unemployment, a recessionary hangover, soaring taxes, and a political class unanimously despised since the parliamentary expenses scandal, the country needs a royal wedding as badly as it did when the young Lady Diana Spencer emerged to bring the British people a rejuvenating image of freshness and renewal.

Whoever is the new prime minister by June should cross their fingers and pray for six months of wedding fever to distract the savage British press.

Update: This story has been updated to reflect Buckingham Palace’s response. Also, as pointed out by MichaelR in the comments below, the location of Thomas à Becket’s murder was near the stairs to the crypt, not at the altar.

[From The Daily Beast]

I love how Tina Brown just assumes she’s correct and goes about theorizing where the wedding will be held. It’s like it’s a national pastime for British folk – discussing Will’s future wedding. And seriously, at this point, he’s made Kate wait so long, some people are bound to be disappointed with whatever wedding choices Will and Kate make. Now, I did say this is a solid theory – one of the most solid I’ve ever read, actually. I’ve been hearing and reading a lot about how the Queen is preparing to take her activities down a notch, and pass more stuff off to Charles, William and Harry. I’ve also heard about the Queen’s (relative) cheapness when it comes to event planning, so I could totally see how the Palaca would be like “Eh, we’ve already got the chairs set out for the Duke birthday, let’s do the wedding tomorrow or whatever.” BUT – is Will ready to marry Waity Katy? I thought he was going to string her along for another few years, honestly.

Kate and Will in London on December 14, 2009, credit: INFphoto.com. Also, in England on January 15, 2010.