I find it surprising that Christina Aguilera is still with her jumpoff lover/enabler Matt Rutler. He was the production assistant that she met on Burlesque, presumably had an affair with, and then became her official boyfriend once she split from her now ex-husband. They even got arrested together! I thought Matt would get dumped after that, but Christina has kept him around. She must like the way he pours. And she must like his moves, because let’s face it, Christina is not one of those divas who doesn’t need to have drunken, crazy sex. She totally needs it. Poor Matt Rutler. Anyway, Star Magazine has a story this week about how Matt and Christina are planning on getting “secretly married”:

“The ink is barely dry on her four-month-old divorce, but Christina Aguilera is already planning to secretly marry her boyfriend, production assistant Matt Rutler,” begins a piece from the latest issue of Star magazine.

A so-called “friend” of the singer reveals, “Christina is telling us that she’d love to marry Matt. She’s absolutely consumed with him and can’t stand to be apart for even a minute.”

“She began talking about marriage within months of splitting with [ex-husband] Jordan [Bratman],” notes the alleged “source.”

The mag also says Aguilera and Rutler’s wedding will be “hush-hush and low key – the exact opposite of the million-dollar extravaganza she put on for her first wedding in 2005.”

However, this may be a bad move because some suspect that Rutler is shopping 109 scandalous photos of Xtina to various media outlets. (Actually they’re mostly silly bachelorette party photos of Christina mimicking sex acts on lollipops.) Star has seen all the pics and wonders, “Who’s selling Xtina’s saucy photos?”

[From Jezebel and Gossip Cop]

Unfortunately for lovers of seeing brides in clown makeup, a “source close to Aguilera” told Gossip Cop, “The story is entirely false… the couple is happy, neither has plans to marry.” So, it’s a battle of the unnamed sources, because Gossip Cop didn’t even get a denial from Christina’s rep, which makes me suspicious. However, I don’t think Christina is going to end up marrying Matt… yet. She just got out of her first marriage, I can’t see her jumping into another one right away. All of that time planning a wedding could be used for getting hammered.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

It was only the end of March when we first heard that British actress Carey Mulligan, 26, was dating British singer Marcus Mumford, 24. Mumford is the lead singer of the Grammy nominated band Mumford and Sons and you might know them from their hit The Cave. Things seem to be going very well for these two, because if The Sun is accurate Marcus popped the question with a diamond ring while they were having a weekend away. I wonder who The Sun paid off or whose phone they listened in on to get that piece of information.

THEY’RE keeping mum about it – but actress Carey Mulligan is believed to be engaged to her folk rock fella Marcus Mumford.

The Mumford & Sons singer is thought to have popped the question at the weekend in a posh hotel.

Oscar-nominated Carey, 26, spent the intimate break at £250-a-night Babington House in Somerset showing guests her new diamond ring.

An onlooker said: “Carey looked like the cat who had got the cream. She was wearing a beautiful ring and didn’t seem to mind who saw it.

“They were stuck to each other like glue. She was doing most of the talking and he was hanging on her every word.”

The loved-up pair have only been dating for five months after meeting when he performed in Nashville, Tennessee.

[From The Sun.co.uk]

So Carey must have flown straight back to the UK after her gig at ComicCon on Thursday to promote Drive. Here’s a link to photos of the place where they were allegedly staying and it looks amazing. What a romantic place that must have been to get engaged. It sounds quick to get engaged after less than six months, but maybe they’ll wait a while before they make it official. If they do get married Carey will probably keep her name for professional purposes, but she would also be cute as Carey Mumford or Carey Mulligan Mumford. There’s something so practical-sounding about that name, like a tough but caring character in a British drama.

Here’s a video of Carey and Marcus outside a Mumford and Son’s gig in Arizona in late April. They dance around at about :20 in and then hug until about :35. They look really playful and sweet together. Congratulations to the two of them! I have a lot of respect for Carey and it looks like she found a decent guy.

People are still talking about Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux’s rings. It seemed like as soon as they got together, officially and publicly, they were wearing matching gold rings. I didn’t really think anything of it, because, really, who cares? Rings don’t mean much, and I rarely look at them on anyone. It’s possible for two people to just have similar rings, or to give someone a ring and not have it mean anything important. Anyway, this ring-obsession is the focus of a new story. Apparently, the giant diamond ring Aniston sported for several of her Horrible Bosses appearances means that she and Justin are “pre-engaged.” It also means, in my opinion, that they are 13 years old. Pre-engaged? Seriously? You’re in your 40s. Stop with the cutesy high school crap.

Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux are intoxicated with their love for each other. Ok Magazine reports that friends close to the 42-year-old actress have never seen her so happy and that the happy couple may wed by ‘summer’s end’!

“They’re kind of pre-engaged,” a friend of Jen’s tells the magazine. “We keep saying, ‘whats with the rings? It’s only been a few weeks!’ But she says it feels right.”

Jen was spotted wearing a gold ring with her name on it in June and shortly after Justin was sporting the exact same one! Then at the Horrible Bosses premiere, Jen wore a huge diamond ring — she hadn’t worn a ring on her left hand since her divorce from Brad Pitt in 2005!

The freshly shaven and newly clean cut actor has reportedly been transformed inside and out by Jen.

“He has always been somewhat cynical and pessimistic,” the source adds. “But he has a happy, upbeat vibe now, like he’s a better version of himself … Justin shaved his scruffy beard; he’s gone from looking like a dirty biker to a leading man. The motorcycle boots have been replaced by Gucci shoes. Jen has been spoiling him with facials and pedicures.”

The wedding might happen at Justin’s favorite secret getaway — the Hawaiian island of Kauai.

“It’s the place Justin’s always dreams of getting married — it’s the perfect place to tie the knot.”

[From Hollywood Life]

First: this is not the first time Aniston has worn a big diamond ring on her left hand since her divorce. She did this with Vince Vaughn during the promotion of The Break-Up. Allegedly, Vince was pissed that she was trying to start engagement rumors.

Second: “Jen has been spoiling him with facials and pedicures.” Hahaha SELLOUT. What happened to Justin? I thought he was SO HARDCORE. Now he’s Aniston’s spa buddy and they gossip about Brangelina as they do each other’s hair. It also sounds like Aniston might want a girlfriend more than a boyfriend, right?

Third: It actually wouldn’t surprise me if they were engaged, pre or otherwise. I don’t think this is going to last longterm, but I think they’ll make it through the year, and at least past the Oscars, and if they’re going on that long, I suspect we’ll be hearing many more “engagement rumors”.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Just two months after we first heard that they were dating, and three months since they first met (here’s a link to a video of them meeting on the red carpet on March 8, it’s at :52 in), Nikki Reed of Twilight and American Idol contestant Paul McDonald are engaged.

McDonald, 26, is a bearded Chris Kattan lookalike who was number eight this season on Idol when he was voted off. We heard some mild rumblings in the National Enquirer’s May 16th issue that he might be using Reed to help him out with his music career. They quoted a source who claimed “Paul is pressuring Nikki to introduce him to her agents, studio executives and even her ‘Twilight’ co-stars. His own friends are predicting he’ll leave Nikki as soon as he gets his big post-Idol break.” The Enquirer also reported that McDonald’s band The Grand Magnolias will be featured on the soundtrack of an upcoming movie, Loosies, starring one of Reed’s Twilight costars, Peter Facinelli.

Whatever McDonald’s intentions, he’s trying to signify that he’s serious. The two of them walked the red carpet together at the MTV Movie Awards, where Reed flashed an engagement ring. She simply told E! Online “He’s the one.” The girl is all of 23. “The one” is incredibly relative at that age. Her taste in men is probably about as developed as her fashion sense.

Looks like that Breaking Dawn wedding isn’t the only prospective Twilight marriage on tap.

On the red carpet at the 2011 MTV Movie awards, Twilight star Nikki Reed flashed some serious bling when I asked her whether she thinks she and her man Paul McDonald will wed. And she had an answer ready.

“He’s the one,” she said. “He’s the one.”

A source confirms that the two are, indeed, engaged. Congratulations, you two. And guess what else she told me…

Reed says her man, who made it to the top 8 of American Idol this season, has been writing a bunch of songs in her honor! Aww.

“He says he’s going to release a Nikki Reed EP,” she said.

[From E! Online]

Well good luck to them. I like that her ring is understated and isn’t a huge bauble that McDonald couldn’t afford. I believe she’s really into him, but I have some reservations about him given the Enquirer story and another article I read about how he was a sourpuss at Reed’s recent birthday party. If he is dating her for the fame and perks it’s a smart move. Former American Idol contestants are a dime a dozen. So are Twilight stars in a way. So it’s a win-win.

Photo credit: WENN.com

The Kardashian media machine kind of amazes me. I get it, we talk about them and we’re part of the problem, but even though most of us are mocking them they’re still churning out stories about their lives and cashing in with so many endorsements, products and appearances. It’s like they’re selling us an easy gossip target, and they’re a whole family so there are that many more people to talk about.

Kim is engaged as you know, and she has a disgustingly garish 20.5 carat diamond ring, hopes to outdo the royal wedding, and is going to pay for it all by putting it on television and selling the rights for just about everything to just about anyone. There will be an insane amount of product placement at Kim’s wedding, and it will be obvious, just wait.

The Hollywood Reporter has the news that Kim got $300,000 from People Magazine for her cover story and the photo spread last week just about her engagement. That figure is really standard for the Kardashians, who allegedly earned Kourtney $300k for her baby stories and Khloe got $300k for her wedding photos.

The new issue of The Hollywood Reporter can reveal that Kim Kardashian, newly engaged to New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries, sold exclusive pics of her engagement party (with accompanying confirmation) to People for a cool $300,000.

According to an insider, the issue underperformed on newsstands, selling below its average. A People spokesperson and a rep for Kardashian had no comment.

The $300,000 payday is par for the course for the Kardashian family, which earned $65 million last year, as detailed in a Hollywood Reporter cover story.

News of Kourtney’s 2009 pregnancy was sold in a package deal for $300,000 to Life & Style magazine. That included multiple stories: the pregnancy announcement, sex of the baby, birth announcement, first baby photos and body-after-baby reveal. (Life & Style declined comment to THR in February.)

When it came to Khloe’s marriage to Los Angeles Lakers forward Odom, she did even better. OK! Magazine received the official photos and announcement for just shy of $300,000.

Kris also had everything from the Lehr & Black custom invitations to Khloe’s 9-carat engagement ring “donated” for the lavish affair; sources say she promised vendors massive product promotion that would come from the media circus surrounding the wedding. In the event that an item wasn’t gifted, E!, it is believed, picked up the tab (E! declined comment).

[From The Hollywood Reporter]

At least People didn’t do that well with Kim’s engagement on the cover. She’s probably annoyed she didn’t snare a more famous guy, but it was time for her to get engaged since her sisters are outperforming her in the baby and partner departments. (As if scoring Scott Disick is in any way preferable to perpetual singlehood.)

Meanwhile Kim has refuted that OK! cover story suggesting she could be pregnant, “I’m Having A Baby,” which was really all about how she’ll have kids someday as she’s said in the past.

Kim also reportedly wants to change her last name to her would-be husband’s name, Humphries, so she’ll be Kim Humphries instead of Kim Kardashian. Her momager is annoyed at this, and says “She needs to be Kim Kardashian because she’s worked so hard to get where she is.” You can read that as: “she’ll mess up our family’s brand if she ditches our name.”

Life & Style reports that Kim is going to get married in the next two to three months, before basketball season starts for her fiance, Kris. L&S’ insider claims “The wedding is going to be at the end of July or the beginning of August. The reason they’re rushing it is because they want to do it before the basketball season starts again, so that they have time to have a romantic honeymoon!” You know that it’s timed for business reasons and has nothing to do with Kris’ kareer. This whole thing has been orchestrated by the other Kris, the one pulling the strings and making the deals and selling us her daughters’ lives. They’re the famous equivalent of the trashy, tacky family down the street that we all cluck over while we’re having drinks with friends.

Photos are from 5/27/11. Credit: News Pictures/WENN.com

I could have sworn that Vanessa Paradis was just recently the cover girl for Vogue UK, but I was wrong. She recently did Harper’s Bazaar UK, and that’s what I was thinking of. So, here is the cover shot for Vanessa’s July issue. It is… unfortunate. Look, I’m not one of those people that thinks that Vanessa is God’s gift (those people seem to feel that way because of a devotion to Johnny Depp, in my experience), but I also don’t agree with the many negative assessments of her beauty. I think Vanessa is pretty, chic, and unusual. I get why Depp fell for her – he has a type, and she’s it. So, all of that being said, I’ve seen Vanessa look so much prettier in candid shots than this Mario Testino-shot cover. This is supposed to be the “Ageless Style” issue. So they made Vanessa look like a little old lady. She’s Miss Marple-esque.

Anyway, this is all we have for now, these two horribly styled Testino shots and the “teaser” from the Vogue site about how the photo shoot features Vanessa “sporting her diamond engagement ring.” Meaning…? I guess all of those interviews Johnny Depp during the promotion of POTC 4, where he claimed they weren’t getting hitched, were all for naught. He gave her an engagement ring?!!? Okay, that is big news. I just realized it.

Photos courtesy of The Fashion Spot.

Last we heard from our favorite crusty lovers Meg Ryan and John Mellencamp, they were still going strong, they were loved up all over the country, and John had maybe asked Meg to get pre-engaged. It’s the Jumpoff Fairytale! According to this week’s Enquirer, John has stepped up and actually proposed to Meg for real. And she accepted, and they’re planning July nuptials. So what’s the problem? John’s not technically divorced yet. Of course, he was still technically married when they hooked up, so this too shall pass, Meg. By the way, for those you who think I’m using “crusty lovers” as a cut on their ages, I’m not. I’m saying “crusty” because that’s how they LOOK. Like they haven’t bathed. Like they smell bad. Dumb hippies.

Meg Ryan and John Mellencamp are planning a July wedding, the Enquirer has learned exclusively – but there may be a problem. He’s still married!

When the couple recently revealed their marriage plans to family members, “John’s children were shocked,” said a family insider. “They don’t think their dad should be getting married so quickly. But she’s telling them that Meg is the woman he always wanted and that’s that.”

John filed for divorce from Elaine Irwin in January. However the split has not yet been legally finalized. The breakup came shortly after John and Meg were photographed walking arm-in-arm in New York, although sources said Elaine has been upset for years over John’s wandering eye.

Since then, John and Meg have been inseparable. Meg attends all of John’s concerts and recently they were spotted on a romantic getaway in Cancun. Even though Meg’s publicist denies there are wedding plans, the insider insists the couple is already working up a guest list for the nuptials, which john wants to have at his Indiana estate.

“Jennifer Aniston and Kenny Chesney are already on the list,” said the insider. “John is planning to throw a huge party outdoors on his property, right by Lake Monroe, which is adjacent. He’ll be performing with his band and so will a lot of his musician friends.

But John will have to quickly finalize his divorce so the wedding can go off as planned. He is trying to end things amicably with Elaine: “He’s saying he’s going to invite Elaine to the wedding.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition]

Oh, that should be divine. I hope he DOES invite his new ex-wife to his wedding with his jumpoff. And I hope Elaine goes, gets tanked, and decides to toast the happy, crusty couple. They should sell tickets.

By the way, Meg’s rep denied the July wedding story to E! News. But I don’t much stock in that, considering Meg’s rep also issued a half-assed denial about her relationship with John AFTER they had been photographed together, looking crusty and loved-up. So, will this marriage happen? Considering that Elaine will be John’s THIRD ex-wife, I’d say that he’s one of those dudes who always has to be in a relationship. You know those guys. The ones who can’t be alone for two seconds or they fall apart. That’s John. So I’d say that as soon as he’s officially divorced, he’s probably going to try to marry Meg.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Well, I was wrong. I thought Kim Kardashian’s needy, desperate “I WANT TO GET MARRIED” act would end up scaring off poor Kris Humphries, but not so much. According to People Magazine’s cover story this week, Kris proposed to Kim and Kim accepted. Accepted the free media and magazine covers, that is. No, I’m happy for her. She’s wanted to get married – to ANYBODY – for years. She really wanted to marry Reggie Bush. Now she’s settling for Kris, who has the same name (and spelling) as her mom. Sidenote: seriously, how gross is that? I would never marry a man with my mother’s name. Although I’ve never met a dude named Faith.

It was a dream come true for Kim Kardashian when she walked into her Beverly Hills home May 18. Her boyfriend of six months, New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries, was waiting in her bedroom on bended knee with four words written in red rose petals: “WILL YOU MARRY ME?”

“I didn’t expect this at all,” Kardashian, 30, tells PEOPLE in an exclusive interview (out Friday) of the romantic, surprise proposal. “I was in such shock. I never thought it would happen at home, and I never thought now.”

Humphries popped the question with a custom-designed, 20.5-carat Lorraine Schwartz diamond sparkler. “I just knew I wanted it to be big,” says Humphries, 26, who, with the help of Kardashian’s mom Kris Jenner, planned an intimate family celebration later that evening.

“Kris really didn’t want a big celebration, but he had jokingly told my mom he’d be fine if there were mini-horses there,” says Kardashian with a laugh. “Later that night at the party, my mom brought out two mini-horses, covered in glitter, for us! It was hysterical!”

[From People]

Hahahahahaha “I didn’t expect this at all”… except for all of those exclusive interviews she gave where she detailed what she was planning for her wedding to Kris. And my goodness, Kris Humphries can afford a 20 carat diamond?!? I thought he was, like, a minor athlete with no big contract. I don’t know much about sports, obviously.

Oh, and re: the glitter covered-horses… Pink is going to have something to say about that. As she should. Don’t f@$&# cover horses in GLITTER, for the love of God.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Michael Sheen and Rachel McAdams made their red carpet debut as a couple at the Cannes Film Festival, for their film Midnight in Paris. Since then, Rachel and Michael have done the red carpet thing together a few extra times. They’ve been going out for a little less than a year, and it’s been looking like true love for a while. It’s always nice when a dude talks about it, though. Which is what’s happened as Michael does press for Midnight in Paris. He’s not playing any games, he’s not even doing the “no comment” thing. He’s confirmed to several outlets that he and Rachel are a couple, and he goes even further by talking about how he thinks Rachel is the most awesome person he’s ever met:

How could they not fall in love? Real-life loves Michael Sheen and Rachel McAdams got acquainted while making the Woody Allen film Midnight in Paris in France’s iconic City of Light.

The British actor, 42, gushed to Us Weekly about the experience at a Cinema Society screening for the movie in NYC hosted by Thierry Mugler.

“It was the three of us: myself, Rachel, and [actress] Nina Arianda, who plays my wife in the film,” Sheen said. “We spent our nights really laughing, and walking around Paris, Notre Dame is my favorite spot, and having great meals. It was a great way to get to know anyone.”

The duo paired up onscreen again for a still-untitled flick from acclaimed director Terrence Malick — shooting in Louisiana.

“We love going to little diners, out of the way places, so we found some great little spots out in Louisiana,” Sheen explained. “My favorite meal is breakfast!”

Sheen would “absolutely” like to work with her again. “She’s absolutely amazing,” he gushed. “A fantastic actress.”

Offscreen? “She’s the most wonderful person I know. We got to know each other on set [in Paris], it was an amazing time. We’ve been a couple for a while now.”

[From Us Weekly]

Aw… he’s so sweet. It’s refreshing, isn’t it? They’re just a nice couple who met and fell in love and they don’t even feel the need to hide it away (coughGOOPcough). Personally, I see these two getting married. I see them having babies. I see it lasting too.

So has Michael proposed yet? Page Six had a piece that included quotes from Michael and Rachel, and it sounds like he hasn’t given her a ring… YET. Page Six notes that Rachel was wearing a large diamond ring on her left hand, but when asked about it, she said, “No, it’s not an engagement ring… I’ll have to talk to Michael!” Meanwhile, Michael is about to do Hamlet in London. Will his beloved join him there? I suspect so.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Remember when Paul McCartney fell head over heels in love with a crazy, one-legged, pathological liar, ex-hooker and con artist? Good times. Well, out with the Crazy and in with the Normal! According to People Magazine, Paul McCartney has proposed to his girlfriend of several years, Nancy Shevell. Nancy is 51 years old, and she apparently has her own money. She met Paul when the two were neighbors in The Hamptons, I think, and when she was still married. There have been engagement rumors before, but I think this current round might be true:

Paul McCartney and his girlfriend of four years, Nancy Shevell, are engaged to be married, sources tell PEOPLE.

“Nancy and Paul are getting married,” a source close to Shevell, 51, a New York businesswoman, tells PEOPLE. “Ring and all – very exciting.”

The Beatles legend, 68, started dating Shevell in the Hamptons during the summer of 2007, and despite their 17-year age difference, a source close to the couple told PEOPLE they were a perfect pair.

“They have the right chemistry,” the source said. “They’re both cool, chilled out and optimistic.”

The couple most recently stepped out on Monday for a gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City.

In Love
This will be McCartney’s third marriage: He married Linda McCartney in 1969 and Heather Mills in 2002. While his marriage with Mills ended in a messy divorce in 2008, McCartney didn’t seem hesitant to give love another shot.

“I just like being in love,” he said of his budding romance with Shevell in 2008.

His fiancée even won over the kids – McCartney has five children: Heather, 48, Mary, 41, Stella, 39, James, 33, and Beatrice, 7 – and, in 2009, a source close to Stella said the fashion designer was “thrilled for her father.”

[From People]

Yeah, Stella HATED Heather Mills, so basically anyone Paul chose from here on out would be better. From what little I know of Nancy, she seems low-key, and that’s probably good for Paul. He seems like the kind of man who doesn’t know what to do with himself if he’s not in a relationship. And I don’t mind the age difference either – I mean, hey, it could totally be worse.

Meanwhile, my mom is going to be so upset that she got passed over AGAIN!!!

Photos courtesy of WENN.