Two of Hef’s last set of girlfriends, Kendra Wilkinson and Holly Madison, have responded to the news of his engagement to 24 year-old Crystal Harris. Kendra was more congratulatory, which makes sense considering that her arrangement with Hef was more business than anything serious. Holly said she was surprised and that she had a hard time saying anything about it as she was afraid it wouldn’t sound sincere. Holly was hoping to marry Hef herself, and even shelled out her own money for IVF treatments trying to get pregnant back when they were together. When Hef’s sperm just sat there and shrugged, Holly packed up and left, supposedly realizing that she wanted more out of life. She doesn’t sound completely at peace with the news that Hef is marrying the next one to come along.

She had to share Hugh Hefner with two other ladies, but Kendra Wilkinson-Baskett wasn’t shocked to hear that Hef had decided to get engaged to Playmate Crystal Harris.

“I’m not surprised,” Kendra told Marc Malkin of E! Online. And as Malkin reports, Wilkinson-Baskett though this might go down all the way back when Hefner divorced Kimberley Conrad in September, 2009 — Hefner and Conrad had been separated since 1998.

“And then I heard how much he loves Crystal and how he looks at her,” Kendra said. “You can just tell there’s a whole other meaning of love in him. I feel like she’s the girl for him.”

Kendra’s sentiments contrasted completely with those expressed by Holly Madison, who was at one time Hef’s number one girl.

“I’m very surprised,” Madison told Malkin. “I have a lot of different feelings on it. I don’t just feel one way. I kind of didn’t want to put a generic statement out there like ‘Congratulations!’ because I felt everyone would see through that.”

Madison left Hefner in 2008, when she found out he couldn’t have any more children at his advanced age.

“I want to be with somebody I can have more of a future with eventually. Hef and I can’t get married and have kids,” she said at the time “So it was fun while it lasted but it wasn’t right for my old age. I got too old for Hef.”

[From The Huffington Post]

Last week we heard a rumor that Holly was upset that Crystal succeeded where she failed, and it seems like that was true. So did Holly just break up with Hef hoping he’d propose? It must be hard out there when you’re hustling and hosting bikini parties. Holly finally scored her own reality show but it took her a while. Meanwhile Kendra is taking tips from the Kardashian school of famewhoring. She’s got her own sex tape, reality show, and exaggerates her marital problems to earn tabloid covers followed by more headlines when she denies the stories she planted. Lord knows what happened to Bridget.

Holly is shown on 12/31 and 12/18/10. Kendra is shown on 1/5/11. Credit: WENN.com

This dude is younger than Hef by about 20 years.

This story would be a sweet one if it was about an age appropriate couple, (like Nick and Mariah and the ring pop) but as it is it only serves to highlight the massive age difference between the bride and groom. Credit to Kaiser for observing that this shows what a child Crystal Harris really is at 24 when contrasted with her 84 year-old fiance. Hugh Hefner proposed to Harris with a ring in a Little Mermaid music box. Because as a little girl Harris must have dreamed of marrying a rich prince old enough to be her great grandfather and giving up life as she knows it to live in an aging dank mansion. I always thought The Little Mermaid was a crock. Arial has to leave her family and friends in the ocean and all she gets is a hot guy whose looks will fade and whose lifestyle is completely different from anything she’s ever known before that single week she traded in her voice to stare at him. Crystal doesn’t even get a hot guy in this bargain.

We were up in the bedroom,” Harris, 24, tells PEOPLE, “and my favorite movie is The Little Mermaid, so he had the ring in a Little Mermaid box, and that was so special. I opened it and the first thing he said to me was, ‘I hope it fits!’ ”

Adds Hefner, 84, “I got her a little music box with the Mermaid theme to it, and it just looked like the perfect size and the perfect place to be the ring box. So when she started unwrapping that gift, I reached over and wound it so it was playing music while she discovered what was inside.”

Although she cried with happiness, Harris says, “There wasn’t any ‘down-on-one-knee’ or anything like that, because we are not traditional.”

The ring is a circle diamond “a little over three karats,” says Harris, “and it’s on platinum setting and it has diamonds all around the band as well. It’s so pretty.”

Meanwhile, in addition to holiday gifts of an iPhone and a scrapbook of their past year together, Harris gave Hefner a painting she commissioned of her, Hefner and their dog Charlie by former Playmate and Amazing Race contestant Victoria Fuller.

Crystal “is so totally devoted,” Hefner says. “Her priorities are pretty much our relationship, No. 1 and No. 2 and 3, and you don’t always find that. Despite the age disparity, the truth of the matter is we have a great deal in common, we really complement one another, we have a wonderful time together, and I love her.”

The pair met at a Halloween party at the Playboy Mansion in 2008. “We were both psychology majors in school, so there was never a dull moment,” says Harris. “We always had something to talk about. We go to Vegas and stay at his suite at the Palms, we travel all over, and we’ve been to Europe. We have movie nights at home with all our friends, and I have a blast with him. He’s the one with all the energy!”

Hefner, who’s been married (and divorced) twice, admits he has been publicly skeptical about the institution of marriage. “I do think there is a certain reality to the fact that people start to take one another for granted,” the Playboy founder says.

“I just simply found myself in a relationship with Crystal in which I felt, quite frankly, the opposite seemed to be true – that the more committed to one another we were, the closer we got, and the more we loved one another, and I just think this one, for me, will be the exception to the rule.”

[From People]

Some of you have noted that the ring (photo below) looks relatively small and cheap by Hollywood standards. It’s an estimated 3 1/2 carats and is said to have cost $90,000 though, so it’s not like Hef was skimping.

Analyzing what Hef and Crystal said about their relationship, Hef is impressed that he has a woman who always seems to drop everything for him and has nothing else going on (he says she puts their relationship at priority 1,2, and 3) and Crystal likes the things that Hef does for her. (“We go to Vegas and stay at his suite at the Palms, we travel all over, and we’ve been to Europe.”)

We never saw what happened to The Little Mermaid after she got married and I always assumed she was miserable. Like all of a sudden she has legs, has to breathe air, and can’t pal around with her friends. That’s not happily ever after that’s trading in your whole life for a man. Good luck to Harris. It’s not surprising that she still thinks The Little Mermaid is an ideal fairy tale.

The Daily Mail has published excerpts from a tell all memoir by former Playmate Izabella St James, who lived at the Playboy mansion starting in 2002, at the same time that the original Girls Next Door were there. I read the highlights at the Huffington Post, and was struck by how similar St. James’ account of her life at the mansion was to an earlier tell all I’d read, with Playmate Jill Ann Spaulding. I thought the Daily Mail was rehashing that story in light of Hefner’s engagement, but they’re not. Those details were given by two separate Playmates, and are backed up by some of the details in Kendra Wilkinson’s memoir about how Hef had regularly scheduled sex parties in which women would hop on and off him (without a condom) while porn played in the background.

St. James’ story is consistent with other accounts, although see may focus more on how restrictive, stifling and dirty it was at the mansion while she was there. Here are the highlights from the Huffington Post, and compare them to this account from a former Playmate. The details of Hef’s Wednesday and Friday sex sessions are very similar. James’ memoir Bunny Tales came out in 2006, so you may have heard some of this before.

On the mess the dogs made in the house:
“They weren’t house-trained and would just do their business on the bedroom carpet. Late at night, or in the early hours of the morning – if any of us visited Hef’s bedroom – we’d almost always end up standing in dog mess. Everything in the Mansion felt old and stale, and Archie the house dog would regularly relieve himself on the hallway curtains, adding a powerful whiff of urine to the general scent of decay.”

On how bad the decor and accommodations were
“Each ­bedroom had mismatched, random pieces of furniture. It was as if someone had gone to a charity shop and bought the basics for each room. Although we all did our best to decorate our rooms and make them homely, the mattresses on our beds were ­disgusting — old, worn and stained. The sheets were past their best, too.

“Eventually I persuaded Hef to pay for a new mattress and bed linen — but I had to turn in every single receipt before I was reimbursed.

“Hef also eventually permitted us to have the rooms painted and recarpeted. But for some reason he insisted on creamy, white-coloured carpets. He liked the girlfriends’ rooms to look very girly, all white carpet and pink walls. It looked great at first, but with two dogs (most of the girlfriends had pets that lived in their rooms — I had two pugs), butlers delivering food, dirty shoes and occasional spillages, the carpet was grey and stained in a matter of months.”

On the Playmates’ weekly allowance
“Every Friday morning we had to go to Hef’s room, wait while he picked up all the dog poo off the carpet – and then ask for our allowance: a thousand dollars counted out in crisp hundred-dollar bills from a safe in one of his bookcases. We all hated this process. Hef would always use the occasion to bring up anything he wasn’t happy about in the relationship. Most of the complaints were about the lack of harmony among the girlfriends – or your lack of sexual participation in the ‘parties’ he held in his bedroom.”

“If we’d been out of town for any reason and missed one of the official “going out” nights [When Hefner liked to parade his girls at nightclubs] he wouldn’t want to give us the allowance. He used it as a weapon.”

Freedom of a kind came on Wednesdays and Fridays, the official nights out, which were the prelude to the twice-weekly sex parties in Hefner’s bedroom.

On her curfew
“Strictest of all was the curfew. Everyone had to be on the Mansion grounds by 9pm every night — unless we were out with Hef at a club or a function. People honestly did not believe us when we told them we had a curfew at the wild and crazy Playboy Mansion.”

On sex with Hef
“I wanted to see if this experienced King of Sexdom knew anything the rest of us did not. But he just lay there like a dead fish. We often wondered why he did it at all. He must know deep down that it is just a show. But he is trying to live out this fantasy he has been selling to people since 1954.”

[From The Daily Mail via The Huffington Post]

So for $52,000 cash a year, presumably tax free, free rent, free chef-prepared food and free plastic surgery on their birthdays, these live-in Playmates had to be home at 9pm every night, go out with Hefner twice a week and have unprotected sex with him twice a week. Their living conditions weren’t the cleanest because they had little dogs that they didn’t clean up after. They dealt with older furniture and the residue from countless tramps accumulated over decades. I remember watching “Girls Next Door” and thinking that the mansion looked small, cramped and old so this isn’t surprising.

Is Hef giving up his lifestyle with a house full of kept completely inappropriately younger women (the twins were just 19 when they took up with him last year) now that he’s engaged to a woman 60 years his junior? I doubt it.

People has a photo of Hef’s fiance Crystal Harris’ ring and it’s not huge or anything. He probably saved the money over a few weeks from paring down the women he paid to stay in his house.

Did you realize that Alex Skarsgard and Kate Bosworth have been together for a year? I think I blocked that out of my mind. But it’s kind of true – they met a year ago on the set of Straw Dogs, and rumors started floating around almost immediately that they were “together”. At first I thought The Bos was just riding The Skars to kill two birds with one stone – as a way to deflect from the rumors she was riding Chris Martin (Goop’s husband), and to get a little attention for herself, considering her career’s in the toilet and Alex is a rising star. Anyway, their union has been drama-filled, at least according to the tabloids… which, let me just say, I think get a lot of their “insider” stories from Team Bos, if not Bosworth herself. We’ve already heard various engagement rumors, and how Kate had given Alex an ultimatum about their relationship, and how she might even be screwing around on him. The latest tabloid rumor is that Alex thinks The Bos is “The One” and he wants to marry her, but he’s got an ultimatum of his own: Stop Partying.

Alexander Skarsgard is ready to propose to his gorgeous girlfriend Kate Bosworth, but there’s a catch – he wants her to cut down on the partying!

Although Alex already knows Kate’s “the one” he wants them to live together before they get married, revealed a source close to the couple.

“Alex is very serious about marrying Kate,” said the source. “But he thinks it would be best to move in together and test the waters first. Kate like to go out with her girlfriends and have a good time. Alex isn’t a player – his parents were divorced, and he wants to make sure that he marries only once. He wants to be certain she is ready to settle down – then he’ll propose.”

Alex and Kate began dating more than a year ago, when they worked on Straw Dogs. Kate recently accompanied Alex to Sweden in May to meet his family.

“Kate wants to marry Alex and is fine with living together before they get engaged,” added the source. “She says she’s over the Hollywood party scene anyway – and she’s not going to let Alex get away.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition]

Does anyone else think “partying” is a euphemism for “getting all coked up and calling the paparazzi”? But yes, this story could be true. Or it could be The Bos’s coked-out delusion. Or Alex could truly be this dumb. Take your pick.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

This week’s National Enquirer reports that Shania Twain’s ex husband, “Mutt” Lange, is engaged to the woman he cheated on Shania with. Shania is of course engaged to the ex husband of her ex husband’s mistress, having fallen in love with the family friend when they faced the shared experience of their spouses stepping out on them. Now they’re all going to get married in two separate ceremonies this summer, according to the Enquirer. This sounds too weird to be true, but so does this entire story and we’ve seen it happening for a while now. One detail I’d yet to hear about this is that Shania’s fiance and his ex wife have one child, a nine year-old daughter. Shania and Mutt also have one child, a nine year-old son. Please let these kids stay far away from each other when they come of age. Here’s part of the Enquirer’s story.

“It sounds crazy, but all four Shania, Frederic, Mutt and Marie-Anne – have managed to remain friends,” said a source.

“So it isn’t as outlandish as it seems for both couples to marry so close together…

“Both [of their] kids will attend both summer weddings, which will take place near their homes in Switzerland,” revealed the source.

“Everyone has remained on friendly terms for the children’s sake. Surprisingly, the whole thing has worked out.”

Swiss-born Frederic, 40, recently proposed to Canadian native Shania with a three-carat, emerald-cut diamond ring that he helped design, and sources say he’s putting together an elaborate wedding.

“It’s going to be ultra romantic will all the bells and whistles – something Shania will never forget,” disclosed the source.

“Mutt and Marie-Anne’s wedding will be much more subdued. He’s always been very reclusive.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, January 10, 2011]

Star Magazine has a related story this week that Shania is writing a tell all book which will include the details about how she figured out Mutt was cheating on her. They quote a source who claims “Shania found receipts for things that Mutt never gave her, like lingerie and perfume… Mutt and Marie-Anne would give each other lingering looks. It was so obvious, Shania finally confronted Marie-Anne – and she didn’t deny it!”

The book is due out this spring, and I bet that Shania stays classy, doesn’t trash her ex and just focuses on how she felt after the betrayal. His actions are damning enough on their own. Shania has found love again and is probably grateful in retrospect that everything happened the way it did. She obviously traded up.

Here’s Shania’s ex husband. He looks like a hobbit.

And his new girlfriend/rumored fiance, Marie-Anne Thiebaud:

And Shania’s man. That must be his daughter.

Marie-Anne Thiebaud is shown in Montreux, Switzerland on 5/26/08. “Mutt” Lange is shown on 1/12/06. Credit: Bauergriffinonline

FFS. Just ONCE this week I’d like to return to my laptop after a refreshing holiday nap to find that some celebrity has NOT gotten engaged. The latest in the neverending string of engagement announcements is Reese Witherspoon and her CAA agent boyfriend Jim Toth. According to Us Weekly, who got a confirmation from Reese’s rep, they got engaged at some point, although there is no confirmation as to when it happened. Christmas engagement? Ugh. At least all of these weddings will help the economy?

Reese Witherspoon is ready to walk down the aisle again!

She and Hollywood agent Jim Toth are engaged, her rep confirms exclusively to UsMagazine.com. “They are extremely happy,” the rep tells Us.

The Oscar-winning actress, 34, began dating Toth, 40, around January 2010, shortly after her split from Jake Gyllenhaal. The duo went public with their romance in March during a romantic birthday weekend in Ojai, Calif.

Toth works as an agent at L.A.’s Creative Artists Agency; Witherspoon is a CAA client, but Toth doesn’t represent her.

Witherspoon and actor Ryan Phillippe divorced in 2008 after seven years together; the former spouses share daughter Ava, 11, and Deacon, 7. Insiders told Us Weekly that Toth has “bonded” with Witherspoon’s kids. In fact, while Witherspoon shot This Means War in Vancouver last fall, Toth stayed with her little ones at her home in L.A.’s Brentwood area. “Ava and Deacon are happy with him,” the source adds.

Witherspoon joked about engagement talk to Entertainment Weekly recently. “My mom always texts me, like, ‘Are you getting married?’” Witherspoon said, laughing. “I’m like, ‘Mom, come on! You would know if I was getting married.’”

A pal says of Witherspoon’s romance with Toth: “She is definitely happy, in love and definitely wants to settle down.”

[From Us Weekly]

Maybe it’s just because the onslaught of celebrity engagement announcements has made my eyes glaze over, or maybe it’s just because I’m missing “the bride gene” (true story), but seriously people, enough already.

That being said, congratulations to Reese and Jim. Out of all of the celebrity engagement announcements, I think Reese and Jim probably have one of the best shots for a long and happy marriage. He seems low-key and happy to give her the spotlight, and she seems less anal retentive and uptight now that she’s in a fulfilling relationship. I wish them the best, and I’m kind of hoping Reese gets pregnant again.

Also – did you hear that? That was the sound of Jake Gyllenhaal’s WAIL OF DOOM. He just moaned/sobbed into his coffee and Swifty stopped daydreaming about John Mayer long enough to say “What’s wrong now, bitch?”

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Back before Hugh Hefner hooked up with his latest 24 year-old coed main girlfriend (and those teen ex-felon twins that predictably bailed) he was with very slightly more age appropriate Holly Madison, who was 28 at the time of their breakup two years ago. (The other two girlfriends back then, Kendra and Bridget, went by the wayside too of course.) Holly later admitted that she was trying to get pregnant with Hef’s baby before she broke up with him, and that she had funded her own IVF treatments. Later Holly called Hef’s new girlfriends copycats, basically, and said she was worried that they would take advantage of him at a vulnerable time. As if her motives were pure.

It’s clear that Holly wanted more from Hef than just head cheerleader status, and that she left when she figured out he wasn’t going to propose to her. It’s not surprising to hear that Holly is super pissed that Hef got engaged to his latest piece, 24 year-old Crystal Harris, when she wasn’t able to score that ring with a lot of cajoling and fertility treatments.

Hef’s ex — longtime galpal Holly Madison of “Girls Next Door” TV show fame — is said to be very upset about the engagement announcement. She long tried to snare a proposal from Hefner herself.

“She can’t believe Crystal was able to get Hef to agree to something she had tried for so long,” said a source close to Hefner.

Even after Madison’s fling with magician Criss Angel — supposedly done to make Hefner jealous — and Hefner’s plea for her to come back to him, he still never proposed marriage or gave her a ring.

[From The Chicago Sun Times, Bill Zwecker's column]

Does that mean if Hef proposed to Holly she would have come running back to him? It’s obvious that she wanted more financial security from the geezer than just free rent and an allowance.

The article also claims that Holly might not have much to worry about and that Hef may never marry Harris at all. Zwecker reports that “sources close to Hef tell me they doubt there will be a wedding,” but if there is the source says if the wedding does happen “‘That prenup will be tighter than Cher’s most recent facelift.’” You know an old dude said that. It’s rare that anyone less than two generations older than Harris would use Cher as a cultural reference.

Will it be worth it to Harry to marry a guy her great grandfather’s age in order to get a predetermined payout after four years? Probably. It’s not like she had a career or much education to speak of before she hooked up with Hef. Harris is ambitious, though. People reports that she’s starting a singing career and that she has a line of makeup coming out.

I told you. I told you, I told you. LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian officially announced their engagement to People Magazine. LeAnn has already written three tweets about it so far. The funniest thing? LeAnn claims that they got engaged “over the holidays”. Yeah… like she hasn’t been planning this engagement roll out for the past three months (a year, really).

LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian are making it official.

“Yes, they were engaged over the holidays and are very happy,” her rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.

A source adds that the couple, who spent Christmas at home in Los Angeles, “had family and close friends in town who helped them celebrate.”

Rimes, 28, and Cibrian, 37, were spotted on a Malibu beach on Monday, where she was wearing a new engagement ring.

The platinum sparkler features a 5-carat oval diamond set in rose gold fleur-de-lis connected to the band, according to a source.

“The couple wanted an antique feel, but a new ring,” says the source, who adds that Rimes and Cibrian designed the ring together with the actor’s childhood friend Brent Polacheck at Polacheck Jewelers.

On Monday afternoon, Rimes thanked fans for their support, writing on Twitter, “Thank you for all your well wishes!! We are extremely excited and look forward to a beautiful future. It’s been an incredible last few days, I was shocked!!! We are blessed, our families are so happy and our lives are filled with love.”

Road to Engagement
In November, engagement rumors kicked into high gear after the couple posted a photo on Twitter which showed Cibrian on bended knee holding Rimes’s hand. Later that month, Rimes slammed new reports of an impending wedding as “150 percent untrue.”

Rimes and Cibrian met while filming the Lifetime original movie Northern Lights at a time when they were both married to other people. The singer has talked openly about the difficulty of falling in love with Cibrian and ending her marriage to Dean Sheremet.

“We make mistakes and we learn from them, but we’re human. We fell in love,” she said in November of Cibrian. “We’re really happy in what we feel privately.”

The singer’s divorce from Sheremet was finalized in June. Sheremet himself got engaged in November and Rimes congratulated him in a Tweet, wishing him “a life full of happiness.”

When she marries, Rimes will officially become stepmother to Cibrian’s two children, Mason, 7, and Jake, 3. (Cibrian shares custody with his ex, model Brandi Glanville.)

[From People]

Oooh, yes, the ring. You can see it here, at People. It’s not bad, actually. It’s bigger than I was expecting, and I don’t believe for a minute that Eddie paid for it. There was a tabloid rumor that LeAnn pitched a fit about Eddie going to his high school friend, this Polacheck jewelry dude, and that LeAnn wanted a fancy Neil Lane ring. But I guess the compromise was that they “designed” the ring together. Because it was all a surprise!

Anyway, congratulations to LeAnn and Eddie. Somebody pour Brandi a stiff drink and take away her car keys. It’s going to feel like a really long engagement, you know. There are going to be lots of “exclusives” to People and Us Weekly, and we aren’t going to be able to look away. Ever.

Holy hell! This came out of nowhere. According to People Magazine, Natalie Portman is engaged to ballet dancer Benjamin Millepied, and they are expecting their first child together. There is no word on how far along Natalie is, but I would guess she’s probably at the end of her first trimester, because I haven’t really noticed a “bump” at all. I did notice her boobs though – her boobs were looking bigger, and perhaps I mistook her parade of bitchfaces for something sinister, when really she was just pukey and gassy. Poor Nat! Anyway, Natalie and Benjamin met when they worked together on Black Swan – he’s a professional ballet dancer, and he helped Natalie train for her role. It was widely thought that Natalie had “homewrecked” Benjamin from his live-in girlfriend, although there was some other gossip just recently that Benjamin is kind of obsessed with social climbing.

Natalie Portman and choreographer Benjamin Millepied are engaged and expecting their first child, her reps confirm to PEOPLE exclusively.

The couple met during the production of Black Swan. Portman’s performance in the film has earned her nominations for a Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild Award.

The actress, 29, will next be seen in the romantic comedy, No Strings Attached, costarring Ashton Kutcher.

This will be the first child for the actress who is due in 2011.

[From People]

Okay, I’m obviously a horrible person, because my first thought was “Wow, Natalie really wants to win that Oscar.” I mean, how great is this for Natalie’s Oscar campaign? Babies and an engagement! Oscar voters will eat that sh-t up! But, yes, I’m a horrible person. Congratulations to Natalie and Benjamin!

Photo courtesy of Details.

I feel kind of guilty putting all of these engagement announcements all together, but in my defense, two of the couples that got engaged are kind of boring. First up: Hugh Hefner got engaged. He’s 84 YEARS OLD. He proposed to one of his many girlfriends, Crystal Harris, who is 24 years old. OH GOD.

Hugh Hefner rang in the holidays with an engagement ring.

The Playboy founder is engaged to girlfriend Crystal Harris, 24, he announced on Twitter.

“After the movie tonight, Crystal & I exchanged gifts. I gave Crystal a ring. A truly memorable Christmas Eve,” Hefner, 84, wrote. “When I gave Crystal the ring, she burst into tears. This is the happiest Christmas weekend in memory.”

Later, he clarified, “Yes, the ring I gave Crystal is an engagement ring. I didn’t mean to make a mystery out of it. A very merry Christmas to all.”

This will be the third marriage for Hefner. In 2009 he filed for divorce from his second wife, former Playmate Kimberly Conrad, after the two separated in 1998. He was previously married to Mildred Williams; their marriage ended in divorced in 1959.

Harris was December 2009′s Playboy Playmate.

[From People]

There are sketchy age differences, and then there’s this. I mean… no fool like an old fool, right? I’m always reminded of something my father said about an older man marrying some young girl – “At his age, he’s just paying to look at her.” As in, all of Viagra in the world isn’t raising that sail, so Hef is just buying himself a young, pretty blonde to look at and be his companion. More power to him…? Ugh.

In other engagement news, Ginnifer Goodwin (32) just got engaged to her boyfriend of two years, Joey Kern (34). Apparently, Kern proposed earlier this month… and they just decided to announce it now. Their wedding date is tentatively announced for next fall. Also: Jason Mraz (33) proposed to his girlfriend, singer-songwriter Tristan Prettyman (28). Let’s give a round of applause for age-appropriate unions!

Photos of Hef & Crystal, courtesy of WENN.