This week’s tabloids are full of rumors and innuendo about Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis’s relationship. These rumors have been swirling for about a month pretty consistently – first it was “Johnny Depp is having a mid-life crisis and Vanessa is pissed” and then it was “Johnny is miserable and Vanessa is holding on and Johnny is consulting lawyers.” And now it’s “Johnny is miserable, consulting lawyers and Vanessa is a Jealous Monster who won’t let him bone Eva Green.” First up, Star Magazine’s story which is basically like last week’s Radar story:

Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis’s world has been crumbling behind the scenes!

“Johnny’s been having relationship problems with Vanessa that have been brewing behind the scenes for a while,” says a source close to Depp. “He started making phone calls to friends toward the end of last year, talking about how unhappy he’s been with Vanessa and how he wants out of the relationship.”

Johnny Depp’s longtime love is green with envy over his sexy young co-star in the upcoming horror movie Dark Shadows, sources say. Vanessa Paradis – who’s had two children with Depp during their 14-year-romance – is seething over his onscreen chemistry with Eva Green, according to insiders.

“They’ve always had a strange relationship, often spending weeks apart… now I think Johnny’s absences are more serious. His friends think he’s going through some sort of mini-midlife crisis.” The source adds that Johnny is “really struggling to deal with the crucial problems between himself and Vanessa.”

One of the biggest problems is Vanessa’s jealousy – “When you’re one of the sexiest men in the world, attractive women are constantly throwing themselves at you – and Johnny can be a bit of a flirt when he’s not home. That’s driven Vanessa crazy in the past, and I’m sure it’s just added to their troubled and helped push them to the brink.”

Meanwhile, “Johnny’s been drinking more over his unhappiness with his and Vanessa’s situation,” says the source. “His behavior is starting to raise some red flags. He just doesn’t seem to be handling this well at all, and it’s heartbreaking.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

Vanessa is jealous, you say? Let’s see how she feels when Johnny starts taking breaks with Eva Green in his trailer! That’s the way to mend a 14-year-relationship with the mother of your children, right Johnny?

“Vanessa is afraid that Johnny has fallen head over heels for Eva,” a close source told the Enquirer. “Like Vanessa, Eva is a French actress and model, and Vanessa senses that she’s exactly Johnny’s type. Friends have even remarked that Eva looks like a younger Vanessa. Johnny has brushed off Vanessa’s fears, but it’s caused so much tension that rumors are flying they’re about to split up.”

Vanessa had originally lobbied for her younger sister Alysson to get the Dark Shadows role, but sources say “Johnny wanted Eva all along. He personally had her audition for Dark Shadows and they became close on the set. She spent lots of time in his trailer.”

“Vanessa’s worst fear is that Johnny wants someone new in his life,” added the source. “Even though it all seems to be in her head, it’s making Johnny sick.”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

Look, none of this paints a very attractive portrait of Johnny Depp. He seems like he’s knee-deep in some kind of mid-life crisis, or maybe he’s just so insanely rich, he’s completely lost perspective on everything. All I know is that it really does seem like he’s spending more time drinkin’ and sluttin’ up the world than he spends with his family. For shame, Johnny.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News & WENN.

The more I see Amber Heard, the more impressed I am with her style skills. Either this girl has a righteous stylist, or Amber just has an other-worldly sense of what works on her body. I’m not saying that Amber is super-fashion forward, or that I want what she’s wearing. I’m saying that I wish I looked like her so I could dress like her. Her body is AMAZING. And the clothes she wears only accentuate and emphasize how crazy that body is. The face is… well, she’s giving me ScarJo vibes lately. Remember when Scarlett went too blonde for a while? Amber is doing that.

Anyway, these are photos of The Rum Diary UK premiere in London last night. Amber wore this shiny Alessandra Rich that could have easily looked cheap, but it’s tailored perfectly and her insane body makes the dress really, really work. She’s so sexy. I don’t know how popular this movie is going to be, but I hope Amber’s career is all uphill from here. I don’t even know if she can act. I just want her to go far so she’ll keep getting invited to red carpets.

I’m also including photos of Eva Green, who was at the premiere because…? I don‘t know, maybe she‘s friends with Johnny Depp. I haven’t written about Eva since that post about how I prefer to write about Eva so much more than the Kardashians. It’s still true, but all of you Kardash-haters out there just have to realize that this week was an anomaly for the excessive Kardashian coverage, because of Kim’s divorce. And no one is forcing you to read and comment on the Kardashian posts anyway! If you feel that strongly about it, take the effort to read and comment about other people, and soon the Kardashians will be phased out, you know? Here’s hoping. As for Eva, I love her beautiful face, and she’s got a killer body too. I’m not in love with the dress, though. I hate when skirts have those dual slits in front – it’s totally car wash to me. I like Eva’s leopard-print shoes, though.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I was drawn in to these UK premiere photos just because I love both Eva Green and Ewan McGregor. I don’t expect you to enjoy these photos as much as I do, but for the love of God, please comment on this post if you’d like me to write more about Eva and Ewan and less about the Kardashians.

Eva and Ewan are just so beautiful to me – Eva, much like Helena Bonham Carter, hides her classic beauty behind profoundly odd styles and makeup choices. Ewan is just pretty, traditionally handsome, with some edge. And they’re made a movie together called Perfect Sense. It’s a love story. They make love on film, together. And weird stuff happens, because it’s a love story mixed with sci-fi. The basic plot is: “A chef and a scientist fall in love as an epidemic begins to rob people of their sensory perceptions.” Ewan is the chef, Eva is the scientist. Here’s the trailer:

Eva’s voiceover is meh – it still would have been haunting and erotic without the voiceover. All I really need to see is Eva and Ewan kissing, and his hand grazing her boob. And is it just me, or does this film look kind of interesting? Like… I’m not sure about the story, but Eva and Ewan look deliciously overwrought here, and I’ll probably watch it just to see them act opposite each other.

So… the premiere photos. Eva always wears these kinds of dresses, and her makeup is always overdone, so my only complaint is about the shoes. They suck, and it looks like she’s about to lose her balance. Ewan just looks gorgeous, though. Sigh… aren’t they better than Kardashians?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

The stars were out at the premiere of the children’s fantasy The Golden Compass last night in London. The film is based on the first book in Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy, and stars Kidman as an evil villain to 13 year-old newcomer Dakota Blue Richards’ character, young heroine Lyra Belacqua. Daniel Craig plays Lyra’s uncle and guardian Lord Asriel. Eva Green is typecast as a witch who helps Lyra on her quest.

Here’s the trailer:

The Golden Compass is out on December 5 in the UK and December 7 in the US.

Here are the photos from the premiere. The Daily Mail points out that Daniel Craig’s girlfriend, Satsuki Mitchell, looks like she’s wearing an engagement ring.

Thanks to WENN for these pictures.