Eva Longoria, whose husband of less than three months has been suspiciously absent ever since her garish wedding, has an entire room in her home dedicated to her achievements. Not only has she collected and displayed every magazine cover she’s appeared on, something that is understandable and might be motivated more by pride than all-consuming vanity, she’s had them blown up to poster size. To compliment the Eva-themed decor she’s put out Desperate Housewives promotional pamphlets all around the room.

What’s more is that Eva is said to spend ten minutes a day just cleaning her 5 carat engagement ring:

Just call her “Me-va!” Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria is so into herself, she’s dedicated an entire room in the home she shares with hubby Tony Parker to her favorite actress - Eva Longoria! “It’s like a shrine to herself,” a source tells Star. “She showcases all her accomplishments over the years in her L.A. mansion’s screening room.” The star has put up poster-sized blowups of all her magazine covers on the walls and laid out Desperate Housewives promo materials everywhere…

“You won’t see that girl leaving her house looking like a mess,” another insider confides. “She takes it ver seriously and spends 30 minutes every day figuring out what outfit to wear. She’s kind of high school that way.” Eva even “grooms” her enormous 5-carat engagement ring her 25-year-old husband gave her. “she spends 10 minutes cleaning it every day with special solutions she ordered,” says the source. “It’s an obsessive ritual.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, September 24, 2007]

Some people were calling bullshit on the “Beyonce is a Diva” story that we covered yesterday, which was also in this issue of Star Magazine. Maybe they decided to work the female celebrity diva angle last week, an threw Eva Longoria in there for good measure. I bet this is true though, you know that pint-sized girl is always talking about how great she is and bragging that she’s moving on to better things in life. Well she definitely landed a rich guy and managed to do it without a prenup. If her movie career doesn’t take off she can always divorce the sucker.

Eva Longoria was recently talking about the new gay male couple that is moving into Wisteria Lane and joining the cast of Desperate Housewives. She says that Teri Hatcher’s character, Susan, fights with them, but she wants her character, Gabrielle, to be BFF with them and have them help her with hair and fashion choices:

Eva says, “I am really excited about the gay neighbours, it is about time. I am surprised we haven’t had them before. They’re my neighbours and I haven’t really interacted with them too much. I would love to see that in the script. Gabrielle should be friends with the gays.”

The 32-year-old star also revealed Bob and Lee don’t get on with Teri Hatcher’s character Susan. She added, “They have a lot with Teri Hatcher — they are like, catty with her and they don’t like her and it is so fun.”

[From Times of India]

Oh Eva, if anyone could be more of a diva than stereotypical gay characters , it’s you.

Eva Longoria is shown at the Emmys on 9/16/07. Thanks to PR Photos.

There were some doozies last night at the Emmys, with Ellen Pompeo taking the crown for worst hair and makeup in a poofy updo with 60s eye makeup and pale lips. Her dress wasn’t that bad, but the gold braided accessories just added to her dated, goofy look. Hayden Panetteire of Heroes wore a peach Marc Bouwer dress made of yards of fabric. She could have smuggled a sibling into the event under that dress. The top featured a brassiere with swirled design accented by a giant broach. An apt commentor on Just Jared said it was “a bad pregnant prom dress.”

Jennifer Morrison of House tried too hard in a silver one-shoulder flapper dress slit to the upper thigh that had too many pieces accented by thick lines and somehow managed to make the slender actress look like she had a tummy. It was pretty from the waist up, but it was too complicated overall. She almost didn’t make this list, as it’s not a terrible dress. Update: After seeing more pictures of Morrison’s dress, she definitely wasn’t one of the worst dressed and doesn’t deserve to be on this list. It only looked poorly cut from certain angles.

America Fererra, Eva Longoria, and Mary Louise-Parker all made Yahoos! best dressed top ten, but I thought their dresses were unflattering. Ferrerra usually looks gorgeous, but her Monique Lhuillier dress wasn’t cut well for her figure and I don’t like the weird spangly belt. Eva Longoria looked arrogant without reason as usual in a beaded Kaufman Franco that made her boobs look like tennis balls. She paired the silver dress with weird plain tan flats heels that look suited to a day at a country club, not an awards show. Mary Louise-Parker wore a red strapless gown that was decent, but the piece at the bottom flared out oddly and it was too tight all over.

Poor newly single Jenna Fischer of The Office looked ridiculous in a gray dress with gold leaves all over it and a big ‘ol bow underneath a strange gold braided belt. Just Jared quotes her as saying “I had to wear something that wouldn’t hurt my back,” as if trying to excuse her awful choice.

Mark Wahlberg’s wife, Rhea Durham, wore a peach cap-sleeve dress with a beaded top in a nipple-look starburst pattern and long skirt. I’ve seen it before, I’m trying to remember on whom, in another color. (On Mischa Barton at the Dead Man’s Chest Pirate’s premiere, thanks Katie for the tip.) It wasn’t as unattractive in the other color from what I remember.

Edie Falco’s dress was too tight but would have been passable if it wasn’t for all the black and white beaded flowers scattered on it. The random pattern of the beading makes them look like mistakes that you want to pick off, as if she was hit by a wind filled with sticky little daisies.

Teri Hatcher went solo to Eva Longoria and Tony Parker’s garish wedding in Paris last month, and people were wondering what happened to the guy she was so publicly dating just a short while ago, who was coincidentally Eva Longoria’s ex, director Stephen Kay.

Teri is taking a page from Eva Longoria’s dating book yet again, and is said to have hooked up with one of Tony Parker’s hot young basketball player friends at their wedding. 42 year-old Teri Hatcher has falled hard for Golden State Warriors guard Baron Davis, 28. They danced together all night and were seen out at a date when they were back stateside.

Tony [Parker]… introduced the brunette star to a fellow NBA guard, the Golden State Warriors’ Baron Davis, 28, at the newlyweds’ reception on July 7. And after that, Stephen Kay back home seemed to be miles from the actress’ mind!

“Baron and Teri really hit it off,” said a friend of the TV beauty. “They talked and danced all night and had a great time. They couldn’t seem to get enough of each other!”…

As for Teri’s relationship with Stephen, another friend of the star says, “I think she hasn’t had her heart in it for a while. She definitely seemed open to meeting someone new…”

On July 24 [Teri and Baron] were spotted together again at the Hollywood eatery Pace, where they sat on the same side of a four-person table, “looking like a couple of love-struck teenagers!”

[From Star Magazine print edition, August 13, 2007]

Although I was kind of annoyed with Teri Hatcher last year after the whole Clooney Vanity Fair debacle and the public kiss with Ryan Seacrest, she seemed genuine to me after she went on Oprah and told her whole story, including the sad details of how she was abused as a child. She even went public in her memoir “Burnt Toast” with the fact that she only had sex with her first husband once in a year.

Things seem to be picking up for Teri in the love life department, and maybe this new romance will turn into something long term.

Baron Davis is shown hugging Jessica Alba below at the launch of the an LA Pink Taco on 6/28/07. Thanks to Splash News. Teri Hatcher is shown in the header photo on 6/5/2007 at the Glamour Women Of The Year Awards. She was out with Stephen Kay at that event, but he didn’t end up going to Eva’s wedding so they may have ended it sometime last month.

Forbes magazine has a list of the top ten most expensive celebrity photographs of the last decade.

1. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt’s first photos - People - June ‘06 - $4.1 Million
2. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher’s wedding - OK! - Oct ‘05- $3 Million
3. Eva Longoria and Tony Parker’s wedding - OK! - July ‘07 - $2 Million
3. Larry Birkhead with daughter Danielynn - OK! - April ‘07 - $2 Million
3. Pax Thien Jolie-Pitt’s adoption photos - People - March ‘07 - $2 Million
6. Anna Nicole’s wedding to Howard Stern- People - Sept ‘06 - $1 Million
7. Britney’s son Sean Preston’s first photos - People - Nov ‘05 - $500,000
7. Angelina and Brad’s first photos as couple - Us Weekly - April ‘05 - $500,000
7. Angelina Jolie’s first visibly pregnant photos - People - Jan ‘06 - $500,000
10. Anna Nicole Smith’s son hours before his death - InTouch - Sept ‘06 - $400,000

Forbes

Interestingly, most of these photos are deals done with celebrities rather than paparazzi selling their wares.

Angelina Jolie dominates this list, but only during her time with Brad. At the time of her first expensive shot, April 2005 when she first started dating Brad, I couldn’t have named three of her movies under pain of torture. But I knew who she had been married to, how many tattoos she had - she’s old hollywood glamour, with a bit of modern crazy thrown in. Just a dash of it, take note Britney!

Close behind Angie is Anna Nicole Smith, which Dan Wakeford, the editor of In Touch Weekly who paid for the number 10 photos, explains that “The death of Anna Nicole’s son was the massive news story of the moment–it consumed the whole nation, and these pictures were so newsy and so emotive,” he says. “This was every mother’s worst nightmare, and through these pictures, America could empathize with what Anna Nicole was going through.”

Unfortunately, he can’t offer an explanation as to how Demi Moore won such a delicious young man at her age, why Anna Nicole Smith lied about the paternity of her baby when her private life had been so public, or even the secret to frizz-free hair on rainy days.

As if a Michael Bolton solo album wasn’t scary enough, here is the news that he’s planning an album of duets with fiancé Nicolette Sheridan.

According to Female First, Nicollette says, “I am such a shy singer but Michael has made me more confident and my voice has grown. We’re planning an album of duets.”

“You might think its madness but we like the way our voices blend.”

Meanwhile, Michael, known for his soft rock ballads, has nothing but praise for the effort his future wife has been making in her singing.

Michael said, “She’s got a beautiful voice but she has been terrified to sing since she was a kid. For some reason, at a young age, she was convinced that she couldn’t sing and if she thinks anybody’s listening she just shuts up immediately,” reports Female First.

AHN

In other Desperate Housewives news, Eva Longoria and Tony Parker have returned from their honeymoon. The couple, who are rapidly becoming the most hyped and least exciting couple in Hollywood, stayed in the Caribbean islands of Turks and Caicos.

Eva Longoria tells People:

“It was so romantic, it was just the two of us. We were completely alone together. We didn’t see people for days with the exception of room service bringing us food. It was great to be completely, 100-percent alone.”

Note by Celebitchy: And now it’s much better to be back in the spotlight, she added. Pay attention to me! My wedding may be over but I’ll start saying ridiculous shit again soon to make sure my name stays in the glossies.

The only dress that I find striking in this group is Jessica Biel’s. She looks gorgeous in this simple white beaded dress with clean lines and a flattering cut. Her upswept hair, understated makeup, and matching earrings all compliment the look perfectly.

Penelope Cruz is lovely as usual, but I’m not digging her her southern belle of a black dress.

Eva Longoria doesn’t look bad, but her eye makeup is overdone and I don’t like the beading or the shape of her dress.

Rachel Weisz needs some more accessories to go with this monochromatic dress, and she should work it a little more on the red carpet.

I am sitting here in jeans and a tank top, and am in no way qualified to judge these gorgeous women, or any of the other celebrities I diss on a daily basis.

Pictures from Gossip Rocks.

Lindsay Lohan resolves to wear thong underwear to all funerals.

Britney Spears plans to make sure her children are properly secured in car seats before she drives under the influence.

Nicole Richie resolves to poop after she eats.

Paris Hilton resolves to quit being such a homebody and get out of the house more.

Angelina Jolie, in an effort to be taken seriously as an actress and humanitarian, plans to play the role of the princess in the new Mario Bros movie.

Madonna resolves to get more publicity for something she’ll figure out later.

Tom Cruise vows to quit exercising so hard and let himself go a little.

Matthew McConaughey vows to exercise shirtless outdoors at least once a week.

Christina Aguilera plans to be a bit more glamorous.

Victoria Beckham wants to lose those pesky last three pounds.

Jennifer Aniston plans to do a lot more cathartic yoga.

Nicole Kidman vows not to be the subject of any country songs.

Jessica Simpson vows to take some time off and relax.

Eva Longoria plans to speak her mind, or whatever comes to mind at the time.

Anna Nicole resolves to get blotto every day.

K-Fed resolves to get as much cash as possible in the divorce settlement and still come off as the good guy.

George Clooney vows to play the field in memory of his departed pig.

Thanks to my brother Mike for help with this list, some of which is humor, some obvious.

It looks like Eva Longoria and Tony Parker’s PR relationship has been taken to a new level. Word is that Tony proposed to Eva, and that she’s anxious to be married and get pregnant with some other guy’s baby:

Eva Longoria and NBA star Tony Parker are engaged, PEOPLE has confirmed.

“Eva and Tony are officially engaged,” Longoria’s rep, Liza Anderson, tells PEOPLE exclusively. “The couple have never been happier.”

Parker, a point guard for the San Antonio Spurs, flew into Los Angeles after his game on Wednesday night and surprised Longoria at her home as she got off work, according to the actress’s rep, who added: “The proposal was romantic and perfect.”

The couple plans to wed in France next summer in what they describe as a “big, happy ceremony with lots of family and friends.”

Longoria, 31, and the French-born Parker, 24, met in November 2004. Though they played coy at first, by August 2005, the Desperate Housewives star confirmed they were a couple, asking PEOPLE rhetorically, “What’s not to like?”

Earlier in the year claimed to be Parker’s sex teacher and then tried to take back her stupid statement with even more verbal diarrhea. The two split up briefly in early October amid infidelity rumors, but Eva wasn’t having that and made sure to fly to Paris to be by Tony’s side. Now that she’s engaged she can focus on planning the perfect wedding and talking smack to the press about what a pain all the arrangements are.

Pictures of Eva in a wedding dress are screencaps from the George Lopez show and were found a while ago at SuperiorPics.

Eva Longoria’s rep released a statement on Friday stating that Eva and Tony are going through a difficult time. People magazine cites a source that says that they broke up, but are trying to work on their relationship. A friend of Tony’s is denying that they’re broken up, though. The two are in different places right now, with Eva filming “Desperate Housewives” in LA and Tony at a basketball training camp in France, so it may be a while if they ever do get back together:

Rumor has it that Tony was making out with one of his ex girlfriends at a party. Eva can be all over Jamie Foxx at the Golden Globes, but once her man starts messing around she’s not having it:

It might not be Tony’s fault he ended up with that blonde. He was denied access to the club’s VIP room, probably because Eva wasn’t with him. He had to hook up with someone else if he wanted access to anything that night.

Here’s Eva with bad hair and makeup at Ken Pave’s salon opening in Beverly Hills. (I like her dress though.) Ken is 0 for 2 with Jessica showing up in corpse makeup and now Eva looking like a warped “I Dream of Jeanie” with those super-long eyelashes, dark penciled eyebrows and half-done hair. (The crown sweep-up is usually a last-ditch effort on an exceptionally bad hair day.) He must have been too busy with his opening to assist these helpless celebrities.

Pictures [via]

No matter how well she knows how to use a gun, Eva Longoria usually manages to shoot herself in the foot. She opened her big ‘ol mouth again and completely ruled out acting in any other television roles after “Desperate Housewives” wraps. She’s going to be sticking that wounded foot in her mouth when she crawls back to TV as a longterm character on a soap opera:

While most actors would be grateful for any kind of consistent acting gig on television, Eva’s arrogance is going to screw her out of future roles.Here is Eva shooting a new movie, “How I met my Boyfriend’s Dead Fiance.” Jason Biggs is in it, so you know it’s going to be a hit with the critics. Who is she kidding, thinking that she has a movie career now? [via]