Eva Longoria was pictured pulling faces and looking foolish at Etoile nightclub in Paris last night with her husband of just over a year, basketball player Tony Parker. Do you think she’s trying to look stupid or that she thinks she’s actually working it?

Star Magazine has a pretty unflattering photo of Eva in their current edition on news stands now. They quote a “weight expert” who estimates she’s gained 15 pounds and says “When you’re tiny-boned like Eva, weight gain shows a lot more quickly than someone who is taller and bigger-boned.” She looks good and I don’t see what the big deal is. As long as she’s wearing form-fitting clothes like she is here you can tell she’s not pregnant as has been rumored. She sure looks dorky, but that has nothing to do with her still-tiny size.

Eva told Hello Magazine in an interview published two weeks ago that she’s still the same dress size and that “Tony loves it” that she’s gained a little weight. She also said that she’s moved into a new house and that Tony helps her feel safe. She complained “When there’s such a bounty for pictures it gets a little scary.” A bounty for pictures of Eva Longoria and Tony Parker? They’re going to have to do a lot more than dance like fools to get the press interested in them. Maybe Longoria can talk more about their sex life like she did last year.

Credit: Fame Pictures

The evidence is really mounting that Eva Longoria Parker is pregnant. First, there are the incessant internet rumors. Which I’m fairly certain can be so powerful that they can actually impregnate you. So keep that in mind when you’re thinking pregnancy thoughts. Second, there’s the bit of weight Longoria has put on in the past few months. Supposedly it’s just because her character on Desperate Housewives has gotten fat… but more often than not when a show does that it’s to disguise a pregnancy. Few starlets will get chubby for the sake of such a mediocre role, and Longoria just doesn’t seem the type to me.

But now there is additional evidence that is about as clear-cut as peeing on a stick: Longoria did not eat any sushi or drink any alcohol this weekend. And we all know that can only be explained by the growing of a tiny person inside your womb.

Eva Longoria Parker certainly knows how to keep the gossips guessing.

On Friday, the actress hit Las Vegas clad in an Empire-waist babydoll dress. She snacked on edamame instead of sushi or anything else raw at the grand opening of Yellowtail Sushi Restaurant and drank only nonalcoholic bevvies.

Later that evening, at Pure nightclub, the Desperate Housewives star sipped Fiji water as Wilmer Valderrama and the Hilton sisters did shots of Patrón.

While she did recently cop to putting on pounds for her character’s storyline, all these signs seem to indicate Eva might be expecting.

Her rep didn’t return a request for comment—so let the bumpwatch continue!

[From E! News]

If I added up all the days I spent not eating raw fish or drinking alcohol I could have given birth to about twenty kids by now. I realize it’s a little unusual, but it’s not an obviously telling combination. There are tons of other legit reasons. I’m guessing she probably is pregnant, but more because of the show suddenly making her character fat. Lack of spicy tuna roll consumption has little to do with it.

Here’s Eva and husband Tony Parker leaving her restaurant Beso on August 19th. Images thanks to WENN.

‘Desperate Housewives’ actress Eva Longoria and her husband, NBA player Tony Parker, are working like mad to get pregnant- according to Mark Cherry, executive producer of Eva’s show. There have been rumors for a couple of months now that Eva was already pregnant, but her reps denied it, saying the petite actress was ordered to put on some weight for her character on the show. But Cherry told Us Weekly that Longoria was inspired by her alter ego, who had twins on the show, to try out motherhood in real life.

Eva Longoria Parker’s boss has spilled the beans!

“Eva is desperately trying to get pregnant with [husband] Tony Parker,” Desperate Housewives’ creator and executive producer Marc Cherry told Us Weekly in its latest issue, on newsstands now.

“After they phone their doctor, she promised me I will be the next call,” he added.

The 33-year-old actress is getting a practice pregnancy run at work.

“Gaby is having a very tough time being the mother of two overweight, hyperactive children,” Cherry revealed of the show’s next season, which advances five years. “But Eva is having a marvelous time playing her!”

[From Us Weekly]

Eva Longoria is annoying, but I bet she’d make an adorable pregnant lady. We will probably hear non-stop stories about the labor and delivery, since Eva just loves to overshare. But if the couple wants a baby, I hope they make one. Good luck to her and Tony. This is the fun part, so enjoy!

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are shown at the Whaleman Foundation Benefit at Beso on 8/10/08. Credit: AXELLE/BAUER-GRIFFIN.COM; David Gabber / PR Photos

Eva Longoria was spotted out last week wearing a t-shirt with the moronic saying “I Want More Privacy.” It was widely thought to be her response to the near-constant rumors that she’s pregnant. Longoria uses the press whenever she needs some publicity but gets annoyed when it turns against her. She’s gained a small amount of weight and prefers to wear looser clothing, which keeps the pregnancy speculation going. During the writer’s strike she issued a statement that she’d gained ten pounds because she was eating a lot while she was waiting to get back on set. Now she says she gained weight for her character, Gabrielle on Desperate Housewives. She also is sporting the bob hairstyle that is more popular now, and it looks pretty good on her:

According to her personal rep, Eva is reflecting a change in her on-screen character Gabrielle — who goes from her usual sex kitten to an over-worked housewife with kids in season five. “She’s making herself look like that as her character has let herself go. Gabrielle has gained weight and cut her hair,” Liza Anderson tells PEOPLE of Longoria Parker’s character. “She’s a worn out mother with two kids.” Longoria Parker was pictured on a European vacation — notably on a yacht off the coast of Italty — looking minutely larger than normal, prompting the usual rounds of pregnancy rumors. Anderson chalked this slight gain to Gabrielle’s woes. “And even that was not enough. She’s also wearing butt pads and a stomach pad to play the part.” And did Longoria Parker enjoy the method-eating? “This is a lot of fun,” says Anderson, “but as an actress.”

[From People]

I like how People calls it “method eating,” I’m going to use that next time we cover an actor gaining weight for a part. None of the women on Desperate Housewives look like particularly realistic housewives to me considering how well put together they are and how stylishly they dress, but if Eva wants to say she gained weight for the part that’s her prerogative. She needed to gain some weight anyway. She’s still really thin and it looks like whenever she eats something it makes her stomach poof out – probably because she’s not used to eating more than small portions at a time. Eva bugs the crap out of me but she hasn’t given as many annoying interviews lately. That’s another added benefit of her slight weight gain – she wants some “privacy,” which is Eva-code for better press.

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are shown after having lunch on 7/14/08. Credit: WENN

Mario Lopez, who by some misguided soul at People Magazine just got named their bachelor of the year, says that he would be with Eva Longoria now if they’d ever been single at the same time.

Lopez says, “We never dated. Unfortunately. We met a long time ago, and she was always with somebody or I was with somebody. But we hit it off and I have the utmost respect for her.

“Tony Parker is a lucky guy. I was in (sic) her wedding. I walked her mum down the aisle.”

Contact Music

Now Mario, it might have been that even if you had dated Eva, she still would have met and fallen madly in love with Tony Parker, who happens to be a lot more loaded that you are.

Of course, what also might have happened is you might have split up because you’ve been f***ing a Hooters waitress. Or a singer. Or a wannabe singer that works at Hooters. Which is how his relationship with Dancing with the Stars partner Karina Smirnoff ended.

Or, you might have split up with her two weeks into your marriage, after cheating on her during the week leading up to your wedding. Which is how his marriage to Ali Laundry ended.

This, according to People Magazine, is the best that the male population has to offer. Mario tells the magazine that he is looking for a woman who is ‘modest’, not ‘uppity or affluent’. I think this means he’s looking for a woman who doesn’t stick up for herself and doesn’t publicly call him out on his philandering.

Mario Lopez is shown promoting his fitness book, Mario Lopez’s Knockout Fitness, on 5/15/08 and on Broadway before appearing in A Chorus Line on 6/5/08, thanks to WENN. He is with Eva Longoria in that stunt they pulled for “Pop Fiction” in which he gave her a necklace in front of the paparazzi in March.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie hit the red carpet at Cannes for the premiere of her animated feature Kung Fu Panda. Angelina looks lovely in a low-cut forest green flowing dress that emphasizes her growing assets while Brad is dapper in a suit and tie, short hair and a goatee flecked with gray. The couple looked happy and relaxed, smiling and laughing as they shared a private joke. Ten to one they’re making fun of Eva Longoria’s ridiculous dress. What the hell is that tulle monstrosity she’s wearing? She looks like a figure skater who’s about to whip off the back of her skirt for her next number after her photo op. And look how she’s posed with her arm out at that awkward angle.

Also shown are Natalie Imbruglia looking like a deer in the headlights, Dustin Hoffman, and Lucy Liu. Thanks to WENN for these photos.

The stars were out for the opening festival at the Cannes film festival, and they sure were gorgeous. The first film to open the 12 day film festival on the Riveria is Blindness. The film by Brazilian director Fernando Meirelles is based on a 1955 novel in which an entire city goes blind after an epidemic. Julianne Moore plays one of the few people who is unaffected and retains her sight. She tries to hide it from the rest of the city as society breaks down from the effects of the change. Blindness also stars Mark Ruffalo, Danny Glover, and Gael García Bernal.

The 9 person jury at Cannes includes Natalie Portman and is headed by Sean Penn. Penn didn’t miss a chance to rip on US President George Bush while talking to the press at the event. It’s likely that he was asked directly about it, and he is quoted by Reuters as saying “When somebody operates without a brain and without a heart, they kill hundreds of thousands of people around the world.” I dislike Bush as much as the next person, but there are much better ways of phrasing that. It’s lame to personally attack someone in such a blunt way when you can state more compelling reasons for disliking the guy. Bush definitely has a heart and a brain, he just choses when to use them. When it involves money, they’re easily switched off and immune to suffering, death and general havok-wrecking. Reuters notes that Penn then smoked a cigarette “in defiance of French anti-smoking laws.” You would think he would be afraid of setting that ridiculous hair on fire.

Shown at the opening ceremony at Cannes are Cate Blanchett, Natalie Portman, Eva Longoria (who’s still looking pregnant to me), Rachida Brakni, Aishwarya Rai, Gillian Anderson, Sean Penn (the hair!), Julianne Moore, Gael García Bernal, Mischa Barton, Danny Glover, and Bar Rafaeli.

Earlier this week, we told you about E!’s new reality show, “Pop Fiction,” in which celebrities engineer pranks on the paparazzi and tabloids, to prove….I don’t know what. That you can’t believe what you see in a photo? The show was responsible for Paris walking around Hollywood with a fake shaman and Avril Lavigne shopping at baby stores wearing a prosthetic pregnancy belly. Well, it looks like the item we ran last week about Slater– er, I mean, Mario Lopez giving his BFF Eva Longoria a gold necklace from Cartier was all a big prank for “Pop Fiction,” too. Hardy har har.

It’s true that Eva Longoria-Parker and Mario Lopez are friends, but the Cartier necklace he gave her on March 6 is fake! In Touch can exclusively reveal that the pair were setting up a skit for Ashton Kutcher’s new reality show with a twist, Pop Fiction. In fact, a video crew even followed the friends to the Hornitos tequila-sponsored opening of Eva’s restaurant Beso later that night. The show picks up where Punk’d left off, with celebrities acting out fake scenes in front of paparazzi.

[From In Touch]

Big deal. It was pretty much a non-story anyway. Some oily, washed-up former teen star who’s hanging around with an about-to-be-over “It” girl, hoping some of her fame will rub off, pulls a prank on the paparazzi. Wow. That Ashton, he sure is clever!

I’m still confused about the concept of the show. Celebrities don’t like it when tabloids make up false stories about them, so they….intentionally set up false stories? Maybe I need to smoke what Ashton’s smoking, and then I’ll get it.

Eva Longoria and Mario Lopez have been claiming they’re best friends – and only best friends – since… well forever. But there’s always been something a little fishy about their relationship – maybe it’s just because you don’t often see a lot of opposite sex best friends in Hollywood. And you rarely see a real, platonic friendship when the guy is a total womanizing philanderer. But Eva’s husband Tony Parker must be totally cool with it, because Lopez and Longoria are seen out together all the time. Yesterday Mario gave Eva a gold Cartier necklace, supposedly as a congratulatory present for the opening of her new restaurant Beso. Though it could also be a “thanks for being my f*** buddy” necklace too.

Who’s a lucky girl? Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria Parker received an expensive gift from pal Mario Lopez as the two lunched together in Hollywood.

With her basket ball star husband Tony Parker away on work duties, Eva, 33, joined Mario for an outdoor lunch at Café Med in LA.

Dancer and TV presenter Lopez turned up with a gold necklace in a Cartier bag for the already pampered Hollywood star.

An attentive Mario hopped out his seat to help Eva put the gold necklace on, and she seemed pretty pleased with the spontaneous gesture.

[From the Daily Mail]

Haha, yeah right. I’m sure Mario was just being attentive. I’m under the impression that men rarely give platonic female friends jewelry – even if they’ve got the money like Mario. It’s a pretty intimate gift. Next week he’ll be buying her some lingerie to congratulate her for walking down the street without falling or something. The Daily Mail notes several times that Tony Parker was “away on work duties.” I have no idea what they’re implying there.

The opening of Beso supposedly went pretty well, with several of Eva’s cast mates showing up.

Eva attended the opening of restaurant Beso, which means ‘kiss’in Spanish in Hollywood last night. With husband Tony Parker away on basketball duties, Eva was supported in his absence by her Desperate Housewives co-stars Nicolette Sheridan and Felicity Huffman. An excited Eva told People magazine: “Everything is painted, every candle is lit, every glass has arrived So far there has not been a catastrophic emergency happening. So I am very excited.”

And unlike spoiled Gabby on on Desperate Housewives, Longoria does actually know how to cook if her skills were called upon. She said: “I’ll go to a restaurant and if I have an amazing dish I’ll go to the kitchen and ask the chef how he made it. And then I’ll make him teach me. You can ask [my husband] Tony [Parker], I do it all the time. I’ll leave him at the table for like 30 minutes.”

[From the Daily Mail]

I’m sure that’s totally true Eva. Mario must love you because you’re just so down to earth. Er, I mean Tony. I’m sure it’s your great cooking that keeps Mario coming over to your house all the time. Hmm, what else can I say that makes it sound like Mario and Eva are sleeping together? I’ve probably done enough. At least she’s getting some good jewelry out of it.

Here’s Mario fasting his gift around Eva’s neck at lunch yesterday. Images thanks to Splash Here are the arrivals for the opening of Beso last night: Eva with chef Todd English, Christine Lakin, Constance Marie, Dana Delany, Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy, Karina Smirnoff and Mario Lopez, Kim Kardashian, Roselyn Sanchez and Eric Winter, Sheryl Crow, and Sarah Lancaster. Images thanks to PR Photos.

In recent history paparazzi have become very aggressive, surrounding and stalking celebrities and becoming involved in dangerous high speed car chases. A paparazzi chase is said to have been a factor in the accident that killed Lady Diana and Dodi. Technology allows the images that the paparazzi capture to move much faster than before. Eva Longoria went swimming with a dog biscuit tucked into her suit, got a photo taken of her doing it, and when she went back to her towel, she found a message on her cell asking why she was wearing a dog biscuit. The pictures had moved that fast.

Not to mention the psychological impact of those Britney upskirt pictures – I like my gossip with my morning coffee, and I was truly not prepared for Britney’s crotch, that early in the morning.

So Dennis P. Zine, LA councilor, is going to help.

Last week, spurred by the aggressive paparazzi coverage of Spears, City Councilman Dennis Zine announced that he plans to push for an ordinance that would create a minimum “personal safety zone” around individuals targeted by the media.

Saying he didn’t “want a repeat of what happened to Princess Diana with a celebrity in Los Angeles,” Zine said he plans to introduce a motion that calls for the city attorney and LAPD to draft new restrictions on paparazzi, including an ordinance that would create a zone of clear space in order to protect public safety on streets, sidewalks and at access points to emergency care facilities and private businesses and homes.

Police Chief William J. Bratton, however, said existing laws are sufficient for his officers to deal with the paparazzi

Fox

It is of course against the law to break the speed limit, trespass on private property and take pictures up someone’s skirt without their consent. In some countries paps actually need the permission of their subject to release the photos, but this doesn’t matter as they just sell the pictures to overseas agents.

I don’t think new laws need to be created, but maybe better enforcement of the ones already established. I see that this would protect all people in the media, and I hope this includes people who have been the victim of a tragedy. Families of murder victims, for example, are often approached by media to make a statement, sometimes before they have even been informed of the death by police. Hopefully the law will apply to them as they have no representative or security to act as a buffer between them and the media.

Of course, I’m to sure where Britney and her house party invites, gas pump assisting and sexual relationships with paparazzi fit in with all this. Maybe she’ll have to go back to dating pop stars and attending a-list parties. Oh, those were the days!

Picture note by Celebitchy: Britney Spears is shown on 1/29/08 after she drove around for an hour, got lost, then got out and asked the paparazzi to help her get home. I guess she never thought to purchase a GPS with one of her new high-end cars. It’s not like she’ll ever need one if she’s followed by so many other people. Thanks to WENN for this image.