Star Magazine has a cover story this week titled “Jamoe Lynn: Delivery Room Drama!” OMG! Jossip offers invaluable analysis of this probably half bullshit, half embellished story. They say that by having an exclusive deal with OK! Magazine for photos and stories about her baby, Jamie Lynn incurred the tabloid editor’s wrath more so than your average celebrity.

Here are the supposed details of Jamie Lynn’s “Delivery Room Drama!” Star claims Casey passed out, Britney pled with Jamie Lynn to have a cesarean, and mother hen Lynn insisted on being in the room when Jamie Lynn gave birth, cursing her out like a movie cliché of a delivery room scene:

In the new issue of Star, on newsstands now, we have all the details about Jamie Lynn’s delivery room drama — including her life-threatening decision, emergency surgery to save the baby, Britney’s jealous episode, Lynne Spears fighting with everyone and the brouhaha over a paternity test.

“The baby’s heart rate dropped every time she tried to push,” a family insider tells Star. “They did an ultrasound and quickly discovered that the umbilical cord was too short.” But despite the doctors’ dire warnings, the 17-year-old “was adamant about having a natural delivery.”

Everyone in the room at Southwest Mississippi Regional Medical Center in McComb, Miss., pleaded with Jamie Lynn to listen to the doctors — including big sister Britney. Brit had already been with Jamie Lynn for hours, massaging her back as she endured painful contractions. “But she got mad,” says the insider. She told Jamie Lynn to “just have a damn Caesarian,” as she did. “Britney then ran out in tears because she couldn’t bear to see what was happening.”

The girls mother, Lynne, only added to the tension. “Lynne was already angry because her daughter didn’t want her in the delivery room at all,” says the source. “But she had insisted on being there, along with Casey Aldridge, Jamie Lynn’s boyfriend. Jamie Lynn cussed and yelled at her mom, and told her to get out. She cursed Lynne for bringing her into the world to bear such pain.”

[From Star Magazine's website]

How poetic of Star: “She cursed Lynne for bringing her into the world to bear such pain.” I love that line. I’ve never heard of an umbilical cord being too short, but I Googled it and it does happen and can result in increased infant mortality.

Jossip notes that the article also claims that “Lynn Spears, Maddie’s grandma, wants a DNA test right away because she doesn’t believe Aldridge is the father.” Their explanation of how so many things went wrong with the birth is a lesson in a tabloid scorned:

You know what you get when you’re a celebrity and you sign an exclusive deal with a tabloid? Bad karma from the rest of the magazines.

Jamie Lynn Spears, who signed a $1 million exclusive deal with OK! for her pregnancy story and pics, is getting stabbed by Star with a dramatic cover story exclaiming, “Delivery Room Drama!” Since Spears is prohibited from playing ball with the other celeb weeklies, there’s only one thing Star can do: deliver one piece of bad news after another. If only Spears hadn’t signed with OK!, she could’ve scored some protection.

[From Jossip]

Star spreads a lot of fake news about celebrities but it’s particularly malicious when they’re blocked from a coveted story. On the remote chance that all of this is true, you could also say that Jamie Lynn had an unremarkable natural birth despite some minor complications and pressure from her doctors and family to have a c-section.

Emma Forrest, far right, is shown with Rose McGowan and Minnie Driver, both contributors to her book Damage Control. Forrest has been named as Farrell’s girlfriend

Yesterday we caused a big controversy with an article that pointed out that Colin Farrel was on the beach with seven month’s pregnant Minnie Driver over the weekend and could possibly be the father of her unborn baby. Driver gave three hints in an interview earlier in the year as to the identity of the father, but has otherwise left him unnamed, saying she wants to keep him out of the spotlight. The three hints included the fact that he was busy, was “sort of in the same business,” and was English. The English part was not directly quoted and seemed like it was an interpretation by the journalist. Colin is a Dubliner and in my infinite stupidity, I initially thought there must be some way that being from Ireland could be construed as “English.” I asked if there was anything she could have said that would have been vague enough to indicate “English” to the journalist, but to have included Ireland, and the best answer was “across the pond.”

As I mentioned in the comments, no offense was meant to anyone with my stupid question, and the main issue was that I was desperately hoping that hot Colin, 32, was the secret father of 38 year-old Minnie Driver’s soon-to-be-born first baby. That would make for great gossip as well as a super attractive child.

Driver is good friends with Colin’s girlfriend, an English novelist
Alas, my willful misinterpretation of geography and a beach outing probably doesn’t equate to Colin’s powerful seed making a new life with Minnie. They were on the beach that day with someone else who I initially didn’t notice – a dark-haired woman who was sitting on the towel near where Minnie was standing. It was possibly an English writer named Emma Forrest, who has been named as Colin’s girlfriend of several months. Forrest and Driver are friends and Driver has even contributed to one of her novels.

But in the past six months the Irish hellraiser has found his soulmate — pretty English novelist EMMA FORREST.

The couple have been as thick as thieves since being introduced earlier this year by top film director MARTIN McDONAGH.

A source said: “Colin is a changed man. He has knocked the boozing on the head and is enjoying life in a completely different way. Emma has been a steadying influence and they have hit it off big time.

“They have spent months trying to keep the relationship under wraps because they are falling madly in love…

“They are planning to move in together in LA soon, on his next break from filming…”

Emma has had several novels published and earned quite a few quid. So any suspicions of her being after Colin for just fame and fortune are well wide of the mark.

Like Colin, she has had tough times in the past and has penned some seriously dark blogs on the internet about contemplating suicide.

[From The Sun via commenter lalie]

If you watch the video of Colin and Minnie on the beach taken by paparazzi agency X17, you can see Colin hand his son to a woman on the towel at about :40 seconds in. I completely missed this part when I saw it the first few times because I was so focused on Colin and Minnie and my delusions of their coupling.

One commenter who went by “Jane” on our last post says “It’s def. not Farrell. I know for a fact. The father is a noncelebrity writer and they broke up months ago.” Her IP address was from Los Angeles at a major movie studio, so it could be true.

Sorry for running with this story so blindly that I forgot basic geography and didn’t notice an entire person. We published photos of pigs yesterday though, and I was desperate for any kind of scandal.

I’m still annoyed at Ted Casablanca for making me fall for his jargony claim that Brad and Angelina sold their New Orleans mansion. (Jaybird wrote that story, but I’m the one who sent it to her, I have to take the blame.) He said it with such conviction and used so many stupid adjectives that it just had to be true.

Well yesterday Casablanca reported in his roundabout twang that Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck were having trouble. Because I promised you guys that I wouldn’t rely on him for information anymore, I sat on my tingling hands and didn’t report it. It’s now at the top of the gossip aggregate site I visit multiple times a day, WeSmirch, and I was just about to reluctantly report it when I saw the denial from their reps.

Here’s what Casablanca said, and I’m rolling my eyes having to read this shit again. If you read between the lines, you can tell he’s just making assumptions because they’ve been seen out separately in photos.

Terribly unfortunate scuttlebutt has come my way. Sources insist to me that Jennifer Garner is considering splitting up from her hubby, Ben Affleck. Say it ain’t so, baby-cakes! Nevertheless, waiting on comment now from both parties. Could this be the reason Jen and Ben are always seen cooing over adorable daughter Violet separately, rarely as one happy family unit? Perhaps. And certainly, those who know the former Alias star well insist Ben’s mama has never particularly cared for the gal who broke Michael Vartan’s heart to hook up with Benny-Boy in the first place. Waiting on official PR responses to that little familial naughty nugget as, well, for what it’s worth. Much has to be divided, I’m told…planes, property. Wonder—if above baddie biz is true—if Benny-boy will be the gentleman Vartan was when he was cast aside? Let’s hope. I mean, don’t leave Vi-hon with the sitters too long if ya decide to hit the card tables, Mr. A!

[E! Online via Gossip Rocks]

Yes, terribly unfortunate scuttlebutt indeed. Well the reps for the Garner-Afflecks say it’s 100% fabricated:

A report by E!’s Ted Casablanca that Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are considering breaking up is “100% completely fabricated,” Garner’s rep tells Usmagazine.com.

The E! report speculated a potential split was “the reason Jen and Ben are always seen cooing over adorable daughter Violet separately.”

But Garner’s rep tells Us: “There is not one ounce of truth to it.”

[From US Weekly]

I’m glad I heard that before I reported this, even with the severe disclaimer I was about to slap on it. Now I have another reason to ignore this guy other than the fact that his writing makes my head spin.

Was the brief blip in traffic worth it for Casablanca? I ask myself that very question when I post celebrity upskirts.

Ben and Jen are shown at the White House Correspondents Dinner on 4/26/08, and with their daughter Violet, two and half, registering her for “the First Presbyterian Nursery School in Santa Monica” on 6/16/08, thanks to WENN.

Last week we published an article that originated in Ted Casablanca’s E! Online column that claimed that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie had sold their home in the French quarter of New Orleans. It seemed like a plausible story considering that the famous family is now renting a huge estate in France and may want to cut expenses. A lot of you mentioned in the comments that Casablanca was not a reliable source and there was no confirmation from the Jolie-Pitts. It turns out you were right and the story was false. The Jolie-Pitts haven’t sold their home.

A representative for Hollywood power couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie denies the rumor that the pair has sold their French Quarter mansion.

“This rumor going around that they’ve sold or are selling their house in New Orleans is not true,” said Trevor Neilson of the Jolie-Pitt Foundation. “It’s just made up, as are a lot of things that are said about them.”

The city conveyance office also did not have any record that the couple had sold their New Orleans home, which they bought in January 2007 under the name Mondo Bongo Trust.

The rumor, fomented by celebrity gossip magazines like E! Online, was also dismissed late last week by several prominent real estate brokers who do business in the French Quarter.

[From Nola.com, thanks to commenter Jennifer and to Alison for e-mailing it]

I don’t usually read Casablanca’s column because it’s kind of a chore to figure out what he’s saying, but we’ll strive not to put much credence in the confusing things he says in the future.

Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and their four children are holed up in a leased 880 acre estate on the French Rivera that boasts it’s own vineyard, chapel, olive groves, lake and moat. We haven’t seen a picture of them in several weeks and many of you undoubtedly find that a welcome change.

In Touch this week has quotes from Angelina that supposedly reveal that she’s having a touch time. She said in an interview that they don’t source or claim is exclusive, that:

“You always wonder how having a lot of children in a fairly short amount of time is going to affect your life together. You have less time together, you’re always busy, you’re often very tired in the evenings. So it’s something that you either learn to adapt to or you’re going to be in trouble as a couple.

“There are a lot of tough days when you’re exhausted, and you know you can’t collapse because you have so many responsibilities.

“I could spend hours just watching Brad enjoying his time with the kids. Except I’m usually busy changing clothes or getting the kids ready for bed myself.”

[From In Touch, print edition, June 30, 2008]

She probably did say this, because she’s given a lot of interviews lately and In Touch doesn’t credit the quotes to an insider. At least she’s being honest. It can’t be easy with four, soon to be six, kids. Angelina has revealed in earlier interviews that they do have help with the kids but that it’s not overnight.

Brad and Angelina are shown at the Kung Fu Panda premiere on 5/15/08, thanks to WENN.

Cynthia Nixon has hit out at reports that she had a boob job last week – instead pointing out that she was actually going in for a check to make sure her cancer had not returned.

“I was at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital for my ‘three-monthly’ checkup,” said Nixon, a breast-cancer survivor. “I was in the Oncology Department. I guess they think that means ‘plastic surgery.’” Badum-bump!

“We got a call from [the Post] asking if I’d had breast augmentation, and my publicist laughed at them and said, ‘No, of course not.’ But they printed it anyway. If I was going to get a boob job, wouldn’t it make sense that I’d get it before ‘Sex and the City’?” Ba-dump!

New York Daily News

Cynthia adds that her lumpectomy did not warrant reconstructive surgery.

I’m really starting to wonder if hospitals should have some kind of protection services for celebrities, particularly following the leaks from UCLA about Farrah Fawcett’s cancer treatment and Britney’s breakdown. I’ve been to hospital twice recently and I was not receiving treatment either time, but if I was a celebrity I would be either pregnant or having plastic surgery. Considering that Cynthia Nixon has spoken about her cancer previously I think it was wrong to suggest that she was having a breast augmentation.

The Sydney Morning Herald today has a an article questioning whether the photography of newsworthy figures – not only celebrities but also other public figures such as politicians or murderers – should be considered part of the freedom of the press. It asks what balance needs to be made between public interest, profit and news.

Cynthia Nixon is shown at the Susan G. Komen National Race for the Cure event at the Newseum in
Washington DC on 6/6/08, thanks to WENN.

There could be an off screen rivalry between Jennifer Aniston, 39, and her co-star Jennifer Connelly, 37, in the upcoming film He’s Just not That Into You. Aniston is said to have demanded that Connelly not appear with her in a cast photo for the cover of Marie Claire. Only Drew Barrymore and Ginnifer Goodwin could be shown with Aniston according to her stipulations, and she was to be the focus of the shoot. It’s unknown why Aniston and Connelly aren’t getting along, but they’re said to have acted cold to each other on set:

Connelly… will not be included in an upcoming cover shoot for Marie Claire magazine that will feature Aniston… and her other co-stars from the October comedy, Drew Barrymore and Ginnifer Goodwin. “Word is, Aniston threatened to pull out if Jennifer was part of the cover,” says an insider familiar with the movie’s shoot. “It was all about getting Jennifer Aniston front and center and looking as sexy as possible.”

So what’s Jen’s beef with [Connelly]? While Aniston’s rep denies that there’s any discord between the actresses, they just didn’t hit it off, says the insider: “There was no camaraderie between those two whatsoever. They didn’t seem like friends in the slightest.”

[From Life & Style, print edition, June 23, 2008]

I wonder what happened between Connelly and Aniston if this is true. Maybe Aniston realizes that Oscar-winning actress Connelly could potentially eclipse her as the film’s star if given a chance. IMDB has the plot containing a “series of interconnecting story arcs” so it’s possible that they get as much screen time.

There’s also a lot of talk about another one of Aniston’s potential rivalries. Her ex husband’s new partner, Angelina Jolie, has her film The Changeling out on October 24, which also when He’s Just Not That Into You first hits theaters. Since one film is a romantic comedy, and the other is a drama there doesn’t seem to be much competition. Aniston’s film is likely to do better just because of the subject matter and format.

Jennifer Connelly is shown at the Costume Institute Gala on 5/5/08, thanks to WENN. Jennifer Aniston is shown on set with Owen Wilson (below) on 5/21/08, thanks to Splash News.

Joel Madden addressed the rumors that he and fianc&ecaute; Nicole Richie are getting married in a $2 million ceremony at the end of the month. On a post on his band Good Charlotte’s blog, he poked fun at Star Magazine’s report, which we repeated here, that a three day wedding was in the works. Joel titled the post “WE DID IT!! NICOLE AND I FINALLY GOT MARRIED!! click here for the pictures!!” and started out the article saying “CHECK OUT MY BLOG FOR A PICTURE OF ME AND MY BEAUTIFUL BRIDE. ALL I CAN SAY IS I AM SO VERY HAPPY……”

A black and white photo of a wedding cake was visible and when you clicked through to the rest of the post it showed a picture of a bride and groom with monkeys’ heads Photoshopped in. Joel explained that he had to clear up the rumors about a wedding because he was getting messages from his friends asking why they weren’t invited:

So i feel really stupid even posting this, but i’ve been getting calls and texts from my family all week asking me why they weren’t invited to my wedding. I guess the only answer i could give them was that i didnt know we were having one. So i just found out that star magazine wrote some story about a 2 MILLION dollar wedding we are supposed to be having, and thats where it came from. Sooooo if you were pissed at me for not inviting you or even telling you, dont blame me, theres nothing to worry about. Its just star magazine. How long do you think it will be before they write we called it off, or we broke up? i give them a week or two……

[From GoodCharlotte.com]

He’s right about Star and he’s obviously writing from experience. I was fooled by that story because they had a whole itinerary for the three day wedding and so many details that it sounded like they had at least one source. Usually when the tabloids make up entire stories they’re vague and include a lot of insider quotes about the supposed fights a couple had or how they feel. In this case Star fabricated a whole wedding with details that they must have pulled out of their asses. Or maybe someone sold a story to Star and they got duped. Either way, Joel and Nicole probably aren’t getting married this month. It’s always possible that they’re trying to keep their wedding private, but since this is Star we’re talking about and Nicole and Joel won’t be shy about selling their wedding photos, I’ll take Joel’s word for it.

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are shown at the LA Lakers vs. Boston Celtics game 5 in LA on 6/15/08, thanks to WENN.

When I saw these photos of Paris Hilton out last night, I initially kind of panicked and thought she might actually be knocked up. That would have meant months of tabloid coverage, interviews about how she felt as the world’s first pregnant woman, because you know she would have acted like she was, and a resulting seven figure magazine deal featuring the newborn as soon as it was able to sit for a photo session in baby couture. Then I looked over photos of her taken this past month, and although she does wear some loose clothing because that’s the style she favors she was also seen with a completely flat stomach less than a month ago.

Paris denied she was pregnant today through her rep. But I barely heard anyone guess that she was except for our friends at D-Listed, so it seems likely that she wore that dress just so people would talk about her.

Whenever she does have a baby, which seems inevitable given how she collects pets, let’s hope she has the foresight to hire good help who will take the responsibility for the infant that she will probably treat like an accessory. Paris just doesn’t have the patience or the mental capacity to care for a child for an extended period of time.

Thanks to WENN for these photos.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were photographed in their casual best outside the Eden Roc Hotel in Cap d’Antibes between Cannes and Nice today. They were said to be heading for dinner from the hotel where they’ve been staying while at the film festival.

Angelina wore a striking handkerchief print dress while Brad was in a suit with an open collar shirt. Angelina’s film The Changeling will be screened at the Cannes film festival tomorrow morning.

The latest tabloid stories about Brad and Angelina include In Touch’s claim that “Brad Walks Out!” and a more believable story by the National Enquirer that Brad wants Angelina to give birth in the states while she plans to stay in France.

In Touch: “Brad Walks Out!” – story based on Brad having a drink by himself at a bar in France

On May 8 [Brad] became so annoyed with [Angelina] that he took off from Villa Maryland… leaving her alone with the children. He ended up drinking along at Le Pontiu Brasserie, a tiny bar 10 minutes up the coast, which he has frequented before. “He always looks worried and lost in thought, says a witness

[From In Touch, print edition, May 26, 2008]

In Touch goes on to claim that Brad is pissed because Angelina won’t marry him, and that she’s put the wedding on hold indefinitely after promising that she would go through with it.

The article also states that Angelina is getting reflexology treatments in France to ease her stress during pregnancy. And the couple has received deliveries of baby items from London, signaling their intention to stay put in France.

The National Enquirer says that Brad is pressuring Angelina to return to New Orleans or LA to have her babies while she intends to stay put in France:

“Angelina really likes the idea of having the babies in France, away from prying eyes. But Brad is adamant that he feels more comfortable with American doctors. With twins, there’s always the worry about complications,” said the insider.

While Brad would prefer that Oscar-winner Angelina give birth in New Orleans, arrangements could just as easily be made for her to deliver in Los Angeles, said the insider.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, May 26, 2008]

You could see Brad wanting Angelina to give birth in the states while she holds out for a delivery in France. It’s not like they’re getting much more privacy there, though. Judging from the long lens photos taking of her changing by the pool of the estate where they’re staying, they should probably put up a tent or a big barrier to get more privacy. It’s possible they’ll move on yet again before Angelina gives birth, though.

As for Brad “walking out!” he was probably just getting some alone time. I know I like to go shopping by myself. It doesn’t mean I’m leaving my family or anything.

Thanks to Splash for these photos.

The Hills star Heidi Montag isn’t content to get US Weekly covers for non-stories about how she’s fighting with her ex best friend or thinks her boyfriend betrayed her, but isn’t willing to reveal any actual details. Now she’s planning to fake a pregnancy in order to get more attention over the summer. Star has the story, and while they do make up a lot of their content I would bet this one is true:

A source tells Star that [Heidi and Spencer] want to hog more of the spotlight by faking a pregnancy!

“This summer, Heidi plans to wear loose clothes and even strap on some padding around her waist to make it appear as if she’s about three months along,” says the insider. “The plan is to get the baby rumor mill going so she can get phoographed more. She and Spencer won’t confirm or deny the pregnancy so they can keep everyone guessing.”

According to the source, Heidi, 21, and Spencer, 24, have plotted each step carefully. First the aspiring singer will stop drinking. Then she’ll visit chic children’s boutiques… to pick out baby stuff. But by the end of the summer, Heidi will be photographed bumpless and sporting a skimping bikini while strolling along the beach.

[From Star Magazine, print edition, May 26, 2008]

Just about everything about Heidi is fake, so a fake baby would be just her style. I guess there isn’t much more she can pull to get attention. While it’s not original, a faux pregnancy is better for extended press coverage than a see through top or a crotch flash. Heidi may not have a lot of class, but at least she hasn’t shown us her goods yet.

In related Hills news, Heidi’s co-star and friend Audrina Patridge is said to have held two separate birthday parties for her 23rd birthday in order to accommodate both Lauren and Heidi, who can’t stand to be around each other. According to the latest edition of In Touch, Lauren held a barbeque party on May 9 at their home for Audrina, and then Audrina had a casino-themed party at her parents house the next night. She invited Heidi, but not Lauren because she “didn’t want there to be any awkward run-ins.” Lauren was hanging out with other friends that night and it sounds like Audrina knew this and did not deliberately snub her.

TMZ reports that Heidi and Spencer and two of their friends were out at a restaurant this weekend while filming The Hills and that Spencer tipped a whole $16 on a $783 tab. 15% would have been over $100 so that is indeed cheap. A producer is said to have paid $60 additional in tip after the waiter asked why the tip was so low.

Let’s hope these two aren’t going to have a actual child anytime soon.

Heidi and Spencer are shown at a Kentucky Derby party on 5/2/08, thanks to WENN.