Project Runway’s fifth-place designer, Sweet P., was asked by MTV to do a live blog on Oscar Night, covering the red carpet arrival of all the stars. Sweet P.’s first critique was of Project Runway’s host, supermodel Heidi Klum.

My first victim is … oh, how apropos …Heidi Klum in a great-fitting red Galliano gown. Of course, she is stunning, but I do not like the big collar thing — it looks as if Galliano was inspired by Christian & Chris’ avant-garde look. A bit too Cruella de Ville! She still looks gorgeous, though. I do like that her dress will be auctioned off to benefit a charity.

[From MTV.com]

Maybe it wasn’t the best move to criticize her former host and judge, but I have to say, I agree with Sweet P. In fact, when Celebitchy, Jaybird and I were chatting live during the red carpet arrivals, I had the very same opinion of the dress. Then again, if it weren’t for Heidi and her show, nobody would know who Sweet P. is, and she wouldn’t have landed that MTV gig. It also wasn’t very cool of her to slam Chris and Christian’s avant-garde look– after all, Chris and Christian beat out Sweet P. to the finals of the show and their avant-garde dress actually won the challenge. The whole thing has a faint whiff of sour grapes, if you ask me.

Juno writer Diablo Cody has blogged about how surprised and mortified she was to learn that the elegant shoes she was lent by famed designer Stewart Weitzman to wear to the Oscars were worth a cool million. She said that no one from the company told her ahead of time and that she assumed they were adorned with rhinestones, not diamonds.

Yesterday, my stylist took me to go try on my Oscar shoes, which were made for me by Stuart Weitzman. They were sparkly. Kind of retro. With hefty brooches to be affixed atop each narrow toebox. I was pleased, but it wasn’t, like, an event.

Today, I read this. NEWS TO ME, kids. I must have somehow missed the part where my shoes cost a MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS and my “choice” of footwear would be publicized nationwide. I honestly thought they were just sparkly shoes. Mr. Weitzman did mention that the diamonds were real when I tried them on, but I’m not Nancy Rockman, Expert Gemologist. I didn’t, you know, bust out my miniature spyglass and assess the potential worth of my kicks.

I swear to God, I have the most bizarre life. Truly.

This looks really attention-whorey, and for once, I didn’t do it on purpose.

I’m flattered that they picked me (surprise!) to wear the Pimp Shooz, but WTF, right?

ETA: I’m actually really pissed about this, now that I think about it. They’re using me to publicize their stupid shoes and NOBODY ASKED ME. I would never consent to a lame publicity stunt at a time when I already want to hide. I’m sorry if I sound like a party-pooper, but Jeebus.

[From Diablo Cody’s MySpace blog via WENN]

I love that she called them the Pimp Shooz! I’m not too familiar with Diablo Cody, but she’s on my short like of people to write favorably about after reading her blog. MSat says she’s a fan of hers and that she’ll gladly cover it when she wins the Oscar as expected for best original screenplay.

I enjoyed reading Cody’s Wikipedia entry and learned that she worked as a stripper in Minneapolis for a year in her early 20s and wrote a book about her experiences, called Candy Girl: A Year in The Life of an Unlikely Stripper. It was published when she was 24 and she wrote the screenplay for Juno shortly afterwards.

JayBird, MSat and are all on live tonight to cover the Oscars. None of us will be wearing clothing worth more than $30, but I guess I should speak for myself.

Here is Diablo Cody at the National Board of Review Awards along with a pic of those million dollar shoes, thanks to PRPhotos and D-Listed.

Update! Here’s my quickie transcript of the red carpet interview with Diablo Cody and the interviewer Steven from ProSeiben, the German channel covering the Oscars.

Interviewer asks question I didn’t write down…
Diablo answers: “I didn’t anticipate the film being made, so to be at the Academy Awards is amazing.”

When they called you and told you were being nominated, how was it?
Shocked… This whole experience was surreal.

What are you doing next?
I’m just a writer and I’m going to go write more.

She’s wearing a leopard print dress and her hair is in a bob.

On January 28, Britney was photographed in her boyfriend, paparazzo Adnan Ghalib’s car, with an Ed Hardy designed air freshener and an Ed Hardy energy drink sitting in the cup holder. Adnan is usually seen out in Hardy’s distinctively designed clothing, featuring big old skulls and roses in swirly patterns reminisicent of tattoos. I’m not a fan of Hardy’s clothing, partially because I find it garish, but also since he seems to stick his name all over everything in big scrawling letters as if his style isn’t recognizable enough on it’s own. Hardy is also a large contributor to the Kabbalah cult, which many people say could explain why Madonna was often seen wearing his scary-looking creations.

In Touch suggests in this week’s magazine that Adnan is getting free swag from the Ed Hardy company, and offer a photo of his phone showing a text message from an employee at the company. They quote a supposed insider who says “Adnan is a total freeloader. He doesn’t pay for most of the clothes he wears. They’re given to him on the provision that he wears them when he’s with her [Britney].”

It sounds like a cheap price to pay for free advertising. Lohan was also said to have struck a deal with the Arriva tabacco cessation company to carry their product around and get photographed with it, although she hasn’t been seen out with it lately that I can tell. You wonder what other kind of backroom deals celebrities and their hangers-on are making for product placement in paparazzi photos. It seems like Adnan must be getting some kind of cash for wearing those clothes, but maybe I’m too influenced by the fact that I wouldn’t be caught out in it unless someone paid me. I’d rather wear a $15 plain t-shirt from Target.

Thanks to WENN for these photos from 1/28/08.

In his first public appearance since the latest 5150 hold on his ex wife, K-Fed will be attending the Marc Jacobs fashion show in New York City today. Because, when you think of well-dressed, fashionable men, your mind just automatically thinks of Kevin Federline.

Kevin Federline is attending Marc Jacobs’ fashion show Friday, his rep tells Usmagazine.com.

Asked if he also will be performing, his rep says, “He’s just attending the show. He got invited by Marc.”

Federline, 29, is no stranger to the fashion world. While wed to Britney Spears, he told Details in 2005 that they wanted to co-launch a label called Pair A Dice “because dice are lucky for us.

“I’ve got a lot of good ideas about fashion that I want to put out there,” he said at the time.

The former back-up dancer has also appeared in ads for the Five Star Vintage line by the San Francisco-based Blue Marlin clothing company.

[From Us Weekly]

“Pair A Dice” fashions. How did I ever miss that gem? I can see it now: a whole line of Cheeto-stained trucker caps, designer lighters, pit-stained tank tops and hoochie shorts. Fabulous!

Anyway, K-Fed has kept a pretty low profile since the first Britney meltdown, and has only been photographed once since her admittance to UCLA Medical Center– smoking a cigarette on the balcony of the home he shares with his children with Spears. Sources have said that Kevin remains “worried” about the mother of his children, although he has not issued a statement on the matter. Just after her commital, this report surfaced:

Federline “doesn’t want [Britney] to get out [of the hospital] until she’s made progress,” the source close to Federline says. “This is obviously going to help her in the end – later, much later.”

The source adds: “He’s worried. … He doesn’t even know what’s going to happen next.”

Federline, 29, was not directly involved in the latest events, “but he was aware of what was happening,” says another source, a friend of Federline’s.

Unlike the first time Spears was sent to the hospital, the children were with Federline, the friend says.

“Kevin legitimately wants Britney to get better. He wants her to be in their sons’ lives. He wants them to have a loving relationship. He wants her to get healthy so she can be the mother they need and deserve,” says the friend.

[From People]

Wonder what he thinks of Britney being on the loose again?

Picture note by Celebitchy: Here’s K-Fed not looking high or anything on New Year’s eve at LAX Nightclub, thanks to PRPhotos.

I wanted to post as many photos of the celebrities at the SAG Awards last night as possible, so instead of just doing “Best” and “Worst” Dressed or posting by single celebrity, which takes too long, I’m adding an “Undecided” category for those dresses that don’t hit either extreme.

Some outfits are obviously bad, like Sandra Oh and her giant bow, and Tilda Swinton’s oversized purple metallic jacket. I feel bad for putting Cate Blanchett on the worst dressed list, and usually she would get a pregnancy pass for that busy flowery dress, but we hold Blanchett to a higher fashion standard than everyone else and she’s expected to look fabulous throughout her pregnancy.

Other gowns are just not to my taste but don’t deserve a “Worst Dressed” label, like Terri Hatcher’s too-tight white gown with a silver and bronze flower print. It wasn’t a hideous dress, the print just looked like wallpaper to me. Simple clean lines and solid colors are what I prefer to see on the red carpet. I’ve been aptly criticized in these best and worst dressed posts in the past for being too conservative in my fashion tastes, though. I didn’t adore Angelina Jolie’s dress - the cut was lovely for a probably pregnant woman, but the colors seemed kind of muddy to me.

Michelle Pfeiffer was striking in a sleeveless tan dress with matching peep-toe shoes and subtle accessories. Holly Hunter cut a striking figure in cowl neck white dress with a grey ribbon. Kyra Sedgwick and Marcia Cross wore flowing dresses in bright hues of blue. And Ellen Pompeo seems to have escaped her sometimes-fug fashion past with a gorgeous silver gown with subtle layers of soft fabric.

Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures.

Best Dressed: Michelle Pfeiffer, Holly Hunter, Kyra Sedgwick, Marcia Cross, Ellen Pompeo, Marion Cotillard, Brittany Snow, Nancy O’Dell, Jamie Lynn Sigler, Glenn Close, Lymari Nadal, and Becki Newton:

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Worst Dressed: Tilda Swinton, Sandra Oh, Amanda Bynes, Melora Hardin, Nikki Blonski, Jane Krankowski, January Jones, Dana Delaney, Debra Messing, Missi Pyle, Christina Hendricks, Cate Blanchette

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Undecided: Kate Beckinsale, Eva Longoria, Edie Falco, Chandra Wilson, Christina Applegate, Teri Hatcher, Maria Gay Harden, Lisa Rinna, Sara Ramirez, Rebecca Romijn, America Ferrera, Ellen Burstyn, Sophia Bush, Alison Janney, Vanessa Williams, Nicolette Sheridan, Ashley Tisdale, Tina Fey, Angelina Jolie, Sally Field.

Hayden Panettiere is selling her clothes. She’s offering up some dresses, a pair of shoes, a few hoodies, a watch or two and even some iPod covers. Why? To help save the whales.

Hayden last year was involved in trying to help save a pod of dolphins, when she went to Japan with a group of Australian surfers and tried to prevent the animals from being blocked into a cove and killed. Unfortunately the attempt failed and Hayden left in tears. The dolphins are also caught and sold off for placement in captivity and television shows, as well as being a food delicacy in Japan.

Now we need to save the whales, just like in the eighties, as they are still being killed for ‘scientific purposes’. Which is code for ‘dinner’.

The Heroes starlet’s website explains her fundraising plan, which allows fans to shop online and purchase her clothes.

It states: “Can you look good and help a worthwhile cause at the same time? Yes, you can!”

“Many have hailed Hayden Panettiere for her impeccable taste in fashion. Now you can wear what the celebrities wear at a fraction of the cost–WHILE supporting a worthy cause! Looking good never felt so good!”

Daily Telegraph

She has some really cute looking hoodies, and some cute shoes. She actually includes size charts and other information, because the clothes are meant to be worn again, they aren’t just fan merchandise. How awesome is that? Of course, not many of us have a figure like Hayden…

The clothes are mostly in a ladies size small, but apparently more styles and sizes are going to become available. You can also donate money.

According to reports, Hayden is considering another cheerleader role, in which she shows a class nerd the night of his life after he declares his love for her during his valedictorian speech. Has this ever happened in real life?

Note by Celebitchy: You can buy Hayden’s clothes at PanettiereCloset.com. Many of the items are sold so hurry if you’re interested. Thanks to PanettiereCloset for the photos below. Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia are shown on 12/15/07 at The Jules Verne Adventure Film Festival. A Lifetime Achievement Award was presented to Stan Lee and the cast of “Heroes” was there. Thanks to PRPhotos.

There are a lot of significant differences between British and American English. A few are funny and lead to amusing/embarrassing anecdotes about when you accidentally told someone to light a gay person on fire and stick them in your mouth, or someone asked you where the lift was and you offered to pick them up. Things like that. Then there are the rare words that you don’t even realize mean two completely different things, because it doesn’t come up a lot. Along the lines of fag = cigarette, lift = elevator, it turns out that style = emaciated crack whore. Victoria Beckham has said that she loves Amy Winehouse’s “sense of style.” Clearly something was lost in translation.

International fashion icon Victoria Beckham, 33 loves struggling Soul singer Amy Winehouse, 24, and her ‘unique’ sense of style. Posh says: “She has a real sense of style that I just love. She’s very much a fashion icon and I adore what she wears. She’s so unique and original.”

Victoria also admits she and husband David are both fans of the ‘Rehab’ singer’s music. Posh adds: “I’ve never met her but I just love her music, I’ve always got it on at home with David and the children. She’s an amazing singer.”

[From Wicked Youth]

Posh and Amy actually have very similar body shapes. Posh got hers through her legendary sushi and oxygen diet, whereas Amy’s came about from the slightly tougher meth, beer, and blood diet. Both require strict adherence to some pretty unhealthy rules, but if you really stick with it, you can whittle your 5’3 body down to 81 pounds. And it seems like that’s the only real requirement in the Victoria Beckham style school. Amy Winehouse is just one pair of rigidly round implants away from marrying David Beckham. If I were Posh, I wouldn’t admire Amy, I’d be wary of the competition.

Boy Foxy Brown sure leads a charmed life. Even in prison the rapper has better footwear than most of the rest of us could ever dream about. According to the New York Post, Foxy, 27, pairs Louis Vuitton and Gucci sneakers with her prison jumpsuit. And when her designer shoes get dirty, she gets a new pair. I have a degree in criminology, and I’m pretty sure I never had a class called “Designer labels in prison.” Most of the prisoners I’ve met were thrilled when they got to wear something from K-Mart with their uniforms. Is anyone else thinking WTF?

Not surprisingly, Foxy is still having some serious issues in prison. She was put in solitary confinement after refusing to take a drug test, mouthing off to guards, and getting into a shoving match with another inmate. She was let out a month early – though her attitude doesn’t seem to have improved.

[Foxy]alienates most of the correction officers, threatening them with tough talk about the “juice” she has on the outside. She trusts no one but her mother and manager, and remains convinced, despite break after break, that everyone is out to get her. The diva Foxy Brown hasn’t changed one bit.

“If they release her today, she’ll be back in a week,” said Geoffrey Davis, a family friend who has visited the rapper several times since she was locked up at Rikers Island for violating her probation after a string of altercations. “I love her, and I have her best interests at heart, but I think she needs clinical help with anger management,” said Davis, an activist who runs a nonprofit, anti-violence organization in Brooklyn. Davis said he was trying to share with Foxy lessons from his own experience with anger and emotional distress. Davis’ brother, City Councilman James Davis, was slain by a political rival inside City Hall in 2003. But Davis said his advice has fallen on deaf ears. “She has to deal with her attitude,” Davis said.

[From the New York Post]

Foxy Brown is one of those people who is so arrogant and has such a ridiculous sense of entitlement that you actually want really bad things to happen to her. Okay I’m projecting. I actually want really bad things to happen to her. Her rap sheet is incredibly long, going back to her teen years. And she always takes her anger out on people she believes are here to serve her: maids, waitresses, manicurists, etc. Her issues don’t come from her deep-seated belief that she is better than everyone else. I’m guessing Rikers must be like a lot of other prisons that require inmates to supply their own clothing. Several that I’ve volunteered at had similar rules, however they didn’t allow any visible labels. Generally it meant a lot of Walmart white t-shirts and jeans; dealing with designer duds never even occurred to me. I hope they can find some reason Foxy can’t have her precious shoes: she’s been given too many breaks as it is.

Suri Cruise is an adorable little girl, with a bob to match her mom’s and the cutest dresses. It seems she also has footwear to match mommy’s too, and it isn’t from Target. She’s Christian Louboutin’s smallest customer.

Christian Louboutin has custom-designed a pair of shoes for tiny Suri Cruise, OK! magazine reports. The company had made a mold of the tot’s feet and hand-crafted a pair of bespoke shoes for her. “She’ll be the youngest client,” said a source.

NY Post

I had wondered if this was a joke because who would risk ordering those shoes, if they aren’t made quickly they won’t even fit 19-month-old Suri by the time they arrive. But then I checked out the rest of Suri’s designer duds and realized that if you’re willing to spend that much on clothes, you really need the shoes to match.

This apparently isn’t Suri’s first pair of designer shoes – Kelly Ripa gifted a pair of Roberto Cavalli crystal encrusted crib-shoes. At least she couldn’t walk and scuff them up. Or do as my kids do and take them off at the park and leave me wandering around looking for both sneakers and children.

Still, I bet Suri vomits on her clothes, fills her shoes with sand and water (usually at the same time), and poops her pants as often as any other kid. If you could pay to get rid of that part of child rearing, that would be some money well spent.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Suri, Katie and Tom are shown in Washington on 11/8/07, thanks to Splash News. I love how that woman in the picture only has eyes for Suri.

Update: According to the December 24, 2007 issue of In Touch, this story is false. They contacted the Louboutin company, which denied the report.

the last time Connor, Isabella, Tom and Katie were photographed together, 12/10/06.
Doesn’t it seem like Tom Cruise stopped pimping out his two older kids once Suri was old enough to start generating “aww, shucks” photo ops every few days? I was looking through the photo agencies trying to find pictures of Isabella, and the last time she was photographed out was when she died her hair blue while visiting her mom in Australia way back in May. Then we heard that 14 year-old Isabella and her 12 year-old brother, Connor, were busy being indoctrinated into the illogical and soul-sucking Scientology cult this summer, which may have explained why we haven’t seen them in a while.

But what about their sports games? Didn’t Tom and Katie show up at a soccer or football game constantly last fall? The Cruise kids are home-schooled and spoonfed cult nonsense, but at least they had the semblance of a normal life through involvement in sports. Isabella and Connor might still be playing sports this year, but if they are Tom and Katie aren’t showing up to cheer them on and embarrass them with well-documented PDA on the sidelines. They haven’t been photographed at a match since December, 2006.

So what’s up with Isabella and Connor? Are they even still around? Star Magazine says Isabella is at least home enough to swipe her stepmom Katie Holmes’ clothes, and that sounds like refreshingly normal behavior for a ninth grade girl. Of course her marathon-running stepmom is a bit too small to provide an endless supply of couture, but a lot of her shirts fit Isabella, and since Katie never wears anything twice she doesn’t seem to mind:

When Katie Holmes got back to L.A. from a recent visit to see hubby Tom Cruise in Germany, she discovered something amiss with her wardrobe. Her designer duds had been plundered - and the culprit was her stepdaughter Isabella!

“Bella has a wild streak in her that she expresses in the ay she dresses,” a friend of Katie tells Star. “She loves an eclectic look and gets that by mixing and matching her own clothes with designer pieces of Katie’s.”

The 14-year-old… is tired of the “conservative and old-fashioned” clothes her parents buy her, says the friend.

They get her things like Theory basics, “but she’d much rather go through Katie’s closet and find a Chloé shirt,” another insider reveals.

[From Star Magazine, print edition, November 19, 2007]

There are too many insiders for this story to be plausible, but it sounds likely. Maybe a writer at Star has a teenage daughter and is getting her stuff swiped too. I know I had a huge issue with my mom when I was that age because I was constantly wearing her shoes and rifling through her jewelry. Once you hit the age when you realize that there’s all this great stuff in your house you could be wearing there’s no stopping you. It doesn’t matter which family member it belongs too.

As it is, Isabella would have to be home to get Katie’s stuff, and she hasn’t been seen out with Tom, Katie, or Nicole in six months. Are Isabella and Conner children of convenience for Tom or are they so sucked up in the cult that they never see their parents anymore?

Header image is of Connor, Isabella, Tom and Katie on December 10, 2006, the last time they were all photographed together from what I can tell. That was when Tom got fat for like a month. If you have seen photos of them together or heard that they attended an event with any of their parents in the last six months let me know. Katie did go out shopping with Isabella way back in December of last year. And Connor and Isabella went to the Kids Choice Awards with Nicole in March of this year.

Isabella is also shown below with those blue streaks in her hair on 5/5/07 in Australia. You know that had to piss off the COS. Thanks to Splash News.