CB and I just spent way too long trying to figure out if George Clooney bought Stacy Keibler some new boobs. My immediate reaction when I saw these photos of Clooney and Keibler on the red carpet for the premiere of The Descendants was that Stacy definitely got some new implants, but now that I’ve looked through all of the photos… maybe not. CB thinks Stacy is just wearing some kind of special boob-lift-tape thing. In a few of the pics, it looks like Stacy’s boob has a “dent” but CB thinks it’s just the shiny tape. I don’t know. Maybe they’re the same size as before. Clooney usually buys his girls new boobs as a parting gift, not as part of his Oscar campaign.

So, what do you think of Stacy’s look for the premiere? The dress is Naeem Khan, the styling is “classy” and “old Hollywood”. I do like the dress, but I kind of wonder how it would look on someone with a frame that wasn’t so… broad. This hair suits her, and it’s kind of like Stacy is being styled specifically as Clooney’s very special Oscar Barbie. “See, I can be classy! I promise! I’ll be your date!”

Meanwhile, Page Six has a somewhat interesting story about how Stacy Keibler and Elisabetta Canalis were at the same event two nights ago in Hollywood – it was a party for a new beauty book, The Beauty Book for Brain Cancer. According to Page Six’s spy, “Keibler sat at a table with Hilary Duff and Josh Duhamel at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood Monday, while… Canalis sat ‘just behind her’ with a new beau, “True Blood” star Mehcad Brooks.” When Brooks was singled out by the authors, most people looked over and Brooks and Canalis, but “Keibler avoided turning.” Bitch, that’s going to be you in five months, still trying to “happen” even after Clooney dumps you.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Is it funny to anyone else that Blake Lively is currently one of the faces of Chanel, and Sarah Jessica Parker has never had a contract with Chanel, even after wearing Chanel endlessly for years? That just struck me as funny because I’m staring at photos of Blake and SJP, both in Chanel last night, and it seems like SJP is probably looking at Blake and thinking, “Seriously? HER?” The event was a MoMA benefit/tribute thing for Pedro Almodovar, and the event got a pretty great turnout. Two of the biggest “names” were definitely SJP and Blake, but I’ll have other ladies too in another post. First, let’s just talk about the fashion.

Both ladies were wearing Chanel, like I said. SJP seems to be wearing Chanel Resort 2012, and Blake is in Chanel Couture. Is it okay if I hate both outfits? Because I do. I hate them hard. I might think SJP’s dress was cute, but that gigantic VEST completely kills the look and makes her look like “Oooh, I’m in NYC and I wish I was on the prairie!” Meanwhile, Blake’s Chanel look is just… funky. Unflattering? Is it just an odd design? Yes, but it’s also too small, right? She poured herself into this couture, and she shouldn’t have to – she has a model-y figure already.

So instead of asking who looked better, here’s the question: who looked worse? I think it’s SJP, because her styling is terrible too, while Blake looks nice from the neck up.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Here are some more photos from the event honoring Pedro Almodovar – I already covered Sarah Jessica Parker and Blake Lively here – they were both in Chanel. I think Chanel was one of the sponsors of the event, because Karl Lagerfeld was there too – and no, I’m not going to put a photo of the grizzled old Anger Bear. No one needs to see that today. First up, we have Drew Barrymore and her boyfriend (fiancé?) Will Kopelman. Will reminds me of someone… who is it? You know who he kind of looks like? Jessica Simpson’s Yalie K-Fed, Eric Johnson. Right? As for Drew, she looks very pulled together, which makes me kind of miss Hippie Drew. I don’t like her hair this dark, and the outfit ages her.

Emma Stone, in Chanel. Probably one of my favorite dresses of the night, but I don’t care for the giant hair poof happening in front.

Olivia Wilde in a pretty, summery dress. Not wonderful for late autumn, but it looks good on her.

Here’s Elizabeth Olsen wore a Chanel mullet dress, from the Mullet Resort Collection. The black and red looks good on her, and I like that she’s wearing different labels and not just going with her sisters’ lines.

Miranda Kerr in Peter Pilotto. I cannot even describe how much I hate this. The top part sticks out when you see her from the side – like fins. Her hair is awful. Her makeup is too underdone – it looks like she’s just wearing lipstick and nothing else. Terrible appearance.

I usually try to avoid discussing Chloe Moretz, because she’s only 14 years old. But she’s 14 going on 40, and she poses hard. She’s in Chanel – I like the pants/whatever. I actually like the whole outfit. But she looks 29, not 14. There’s no reason for her to be pouting and sucking in her cheeks.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Here are the real stars of last night’s Breaking Dawn premiere, the most photographed actors on the red carpet, real-life and on-screen lovers and the objects of desire, fanaticism and loathing: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. Let me start with Kristen. She wore this blue-purple-black J. Mendel that I’m not in love with. I don’t hate it, and I actually like the blue-purple color on Kristen a lot. The cut of the dress is kind of bad, and it looks rather cheap to me. I think it has something to do with the too-high slit and how hundreds of Twihards probably saw Bella’s vadge on the red carpet when she walked a certain way – what‘s with Kristen and her vadge-high slits and too-short miniskirts? Why is she determined to show us her biscuits? The slit is also bad because you can see a lot of the lining, and the material looks tacky and cheap.

Now I’ll say something nice – her makeup looks good. Her posture is improving somewhat. She’s still pretty slouchy, but she’s evolving it into a more model-pose slouch. And I love that ring she’s wearing on her left hand – it’s gorgeous.

As for Sparkles… he was slouching more than Kristen! I think because he’s so tall, and he didn’t want to tower over Kristen as they posed together on the red carpet. His suit was meh, his hair was a mess! I didn’t like her hair either – it was not a good hair night for either of them. And Sparkles really, really needs to work on not making those dumb expressions when he’s being photographed.

This was the friendliest I’ve ever seen them on a red carpet, by the way. Usually, they only pose together for a little bit and then they invite Taylor Lautner over so it’s a creepy threesome pose. Maybe it’s the time they’ve spent apart, maybe Kristen has just accepted that she has a cute British boyfriend, whatever it is, they looked more coupley than I’ve ever seen.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Willow Smith is 11 years old. Is that too young to see Breaking Dawn Part 1? I’ve seen the trailer, and there seems to be a lot of “thrusting” going on in the movie, so maybe it’s inappropriate for 11 year olds? If you couldn’t tell, Willow was at the Breaking Dawn premiere, and it doesn’t seem like she was there with either or her parents. Maybe she was with an older cousin or something…? Maybe she only walked the red carpet and then went home? I’m trying to think if I was allowed to see movies with thrusting when I was 11 years old. Probably – my parents let me watch whatever I wanted, and look at me now. A dong-obsessed *mutter mutter* year old. Would Willow be the same?

Regardless of whether it was appropriate for Willow to even be at this premiere, what do you think of her outfit? And don’t start yelling and saying mean things about a kid. I tend to think that much like Lady Gaga, Willow is finding it difficult, at the ripe old age of 11, to maintain the crazy outfits and the “new looks” for each new appearance. This outfit didn’t even seem like she was trying to be the pint-sized Gaga or Nicki Minaj. The gold boots are pretty righteous, though.

Willow is really starting to look like her dad, right? She’s a combination of her parents – she got her mom’s almond-shaped eyes (gorgeous), and then everything else looks like Will.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

As I’m sure you heard, last night was the Breaking Dawn Part 1 premiere in Hollywood. Before I even considered covering Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson’s appearance on the red carpet, I had to make room for the true STARS of the franchise, the two actors who think that they could play the leads better than Robert Pattinson and K-Stew, Ashley Greene and Kellan Lutz. I love both of them. They’re both delusional.

Ashley wore this red Donna Karan that I really, really dislike on her. It’s not that the dress is matronly – it’s not, really – but I still feel like this isn’t a “young” enough look for such a young woman. I think Ashley is really trying to get a contract with Donna Karan, though. She’s been wearing a lot of DK for the Breaking Dawn promotional tour. I also think Ashley might not get first (or even second) pick of all of the new clothes. Poor Ashley. Also: is her lip color too matchy with her dress? In some photos, it looks good, but in others, she looks like a brunette Barbie.

Is it just me, or does Kellan Lutz looks slightly LESS serial killer-esque with dark hair? Kellan Lutz has gone back and forth on Kellan Lutz’s hair. On one side, Kellan Lutz is a Kellan Lutzy blonde. On the other side, Kellan Lutz likes to mix it up, Kellan Lutz-style. Kellan Lutz also brought his Kellan Lutzy girlfriend to the premiere. Her name is Sharni Vinson, and she has bangs trauma, and she loves the spotlight just as much as Kellan Lutz. KELLAN LUTZ! PS…Kellan Lutz is happy this week because The Immortals was such a smashing success, and that’s all because of KELLAN LUTZ. People came for The Lutz.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

These are some new photos of Khloe Kardashian at last night’s Hollywood Style Awards. To go to a style event dressed like a goth princess? Ugh. And I like black! A lot. But this much black screams “I’m in 11th grade, I love candles and I’m totally Wiccan.” It’s not flattering on Khloe’s statuesque frame.

I know we do a lot of bitching about the Kardashians around here, but Khloe is consistently my favorite. CB just gave me a really great idea for why I like her so much – Khloe might not even really be a “Kardashian”. You see, as Khloe’s mom Kris Jenner promotes her new book, Kris is talking about the affair she had when she was 30 years old, 26 years ago. Now, Khloe is 27. Could it be that Kris is admitting the affair but fudging the dates? You have to admit – Khloe doesn’t really look like her sisters. And she’s taller and she has a completely different kind of body type. So, what happened there?

In her memoir Kris Jenner and All Things Kardashian which has just been released, Kris Jenner admits that it was an affair on her part that led to a divorce from Robert Kardashian, father of Khloe, Kourtney and Kim Kardashian.

Jenner wrote: “His name was Ryan, and he was a producer.”

Jenner was 30, she said, when she cheated on her ex-husband and the father of three of her daughters. “I don’t know why I was having a mid-life crisis at 30, but I was.” Kris (short for Kristen) had been with Rob Kardashian since she was 18.

In an effort to explain why she had an affair, Jenner said, “[I was] probably just really naive and stupid and restless and didn’t realize that marriage has its ups and downs.”

In the end, life went on for Kris who later married Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner, who she also shares children (Kendall, Kylie and Brody) with. For those who look on the bright side of things, if Kris Jenner had not had the affair, she and Robert might not have divorced and Kendall, Kylie and Brody might not have ever been born.

Even so, Kris Jenner told Jay Leno, “It’s probably the biggest regret of my life that I ended up having an affair. Someone once told me that it’s like a roller-coaster, just ride it out. But I wasn’t really old enough to hear those words.”

[From Gather Celebs]

It sounds like Kris is only admitting the part of the affair in which she got caught – she says that Robert Kardashian was having her followed by a private detective, and after Robert found out about the affair, he divorced her. I wonder what made Robert suspicious? Maybe he wondered about Khloe’s paternity as well?

Another reason to like Khloe most of all: according to the tabloids, she now kind of hates her sister Kim and their mother:

The Kardashians are about to hold a “series of crisis meetings,” over Kim Kardashian‘s choice to file for divorce on Oct. 31 after just 72 days of marriage to Kris Humphries, says a new report from In Touch magazine.

“The family has split into two camps since the divorce – Kim and her mom versus the rest of the family, who are really angry at her,” an insider tells In Touch magazine.

“Encouraged by her mom, Kris, Kim has become a fame-addicted, money-hungry monster. She has lost touch with reality.”

A source reveals that Khloe is “seething” over Kim’s actions — and while in Australia, the sisters got into a battle in a bathroom.

“Khloe was mad because Kim was trying to look sad [about her divorce],” describes onlooker Hannah Smith. “She was telling Kim that people would see right through it, and Kim was only making things worse.” Kim and Khloe got so nasty to each other that they were “swearing at each other.” Kim stormed out of the room after getting totally worked up.

Then at the airport when Kim, Khloe and Lamar were heading home from Australia, Khloe and Lamar ignored Kim as she tried to wheel her luggage. “It was as if they didn’t even know her,” notes a witness.

[From Hollywood Life]

Hahaha. Khloe ignoring Kim? Khloe yelling at her mom? Excellent progress. Khloe now needs to drop the “Kardashian” from her name. Maybe she should just take her husband’s name? Khloe Odom. That’s not bad.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

These are some new photos of the Duchess of Cambridge (Kate) on Sunday, during the royal part of the UK’s Remembrance Sunday, which honors fallen soldiers. Kate was stationed on the balcony between Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall and Sophie, Countess of Wessex (Edward’s wife). All of the royal ladies wore black – Kate’s coat is Diane von Furstenberg, with a hat by “couture milliner” Jane Corbett. I especially like Kate’s hat – very chic, especially compared to Camilla’s feather-boa-looking hat monstrosity, which seems too frou-frou for such a somber occasion.

Do you remember how Kate and Will are going to be separated for six weeks next year while Will trains in the Falkland Islands? Well, once he comes back, The Mail reports that he and Kate are considering a semi-permanent move to Scotland. Meaning, Will might put in a transfer request with the RAF so he could be stationed as a search-and-rescue pilot at RAF Lossiemouth. Yeah… I don’t think this will happen, but it’s interesting:

Prince William and his wife Kate are reportedly set to move back to Scotland as he pursues his career in the RAF. The royal couple – who began their relationship while studying in St Andrews – are planning to head north of the border again under plans for William to transfer to RAF Lossiemouth.

At the moment the pair live in Wales where the Prince works as as part of the RAF search and rescue crew. And next year he is due to perform a six weeks tour of duty in the Falkland Islands. Yet although he will head back to Anglesey immediately after his return to Britain, the prince is considering a return to Scotland as early as 2013, according to a senior RAF source.

It is understood the couple are keen to return to the country where their romance blossomed and for which they have a deep-seated affection. A move to Lossiemouth in Moray would mean they were conveniently close to the Royal Estate at Balmoral and neighbouring Birkhall where the couple have spent several holidays.

They would also be near St Andrews where William has signed up to be patron of the university’s forthcoming 600th anniversary celebration appeal. From a professional point of view, a transfer to Lossiemouth would allow the prince – currently trained as a co-pilot – to work in the busy search and rescue centre. Lossiemouth was also the prince’s second choice – behind RAF Valley – for his first posting.

A senior RAF source said: ‘Lossiemouth is simply considered the best place for an RAF search and rescue pilot. It has a great combination of mountain and sea work but covering more and bigger mountains than Wales. It offers more variety and action. It will also give the chance for William to command his own helicopter.’

The Royal couple currently rent a £750-a-month cottage on Anglesey while Prince William remains stationed at RAF Valley. He is signed up for a three-year stint in the RAF – which comes to an end in 2013. After that the 29-year-old prince has several possible options: He could either leave the RAF to take on full-time royal duties; he could remain at RAF Valley; or he could transfer to another RAF search and rescue centre. However, royal insiders believe that a move to RAF Lossiemouth is the prince’s ‘preferred option.’

One aide explained that William intends to complete at least six years of service – believing that it is only fair, having received pilot training worth around £800,000, that he should repay the RAF’s investment in him. The aide also pointed out that St Andrews University celebrates its milestone 600th anniversary in 2013. William is patron for a fundraising campaign at the historic establishment, where he met future wife Kate Middleton, and the couple returned to help launch the £100 million appeal last February.

The aide warned that the moves of royal family members are always subject to change but said the transfer to Lossiemouth was currently the prince’s first choice. He said: ‘A move to Lossiemouth for Prince William and Catherine is part of a long-term forecast but this is the preferred option. It will allow the Duke to continue his RAF career while experiencing a different base and the couple always enjoy their time in Scotland. While nothing is ever set in stone for working Royals, this is the plan on the table as they look ahead.’

RAF spokesman Martin Tinworth declined to discuss the prince’s career, but said any decisions related to personnel were made ‘in connection with crew development and the chain of command.’

A Clarence House spokesman said: ‘At some point next year, Prince William will consider his future in the RAF. No decision has yet been taken.’

William is currently earning £37,170 as a flight lieutenant. Promotion to squadron leader is not normally considered until four years after becoming a flight lieutenant – and then William will have to compete with many others throughout the service for the limited number of yearly upgrade in rank.

[From The Mail]

I’m kind of torn about this one. On one hand, moving to Scotland for three years (!) would mean that Kate would barely have time to take on any charitable “work” in London for many years to come, which just pisses me off. On the other hand, at least Will is thinking about a longer-term military career, and not wasting hundreds of thousands of taxpayer pounds on training for what amounts to a temp job. I really don’t think the Queen would allow this, though. William needs to be closer to London, and he – AND KATE – are going to be expected to take on more responsibilities as soon as their “grace period” is over (2013). So… doubt it on Scotland.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Dear Michelle Williams,

We get it. You’re virginal and pure. You are fragile and delicate. Noted. You always wear creams and whites and barely-there beiges and those colors combined with your skin, it’s blinding me. Try blue. Try red. Try violet. Because these creams and whites and are making my eye twitch.

Love, Me.

So… yeah. These are photos of Michelle Williams and Kenneth Branagh at the NYC premiere of My Week With Marilyn last night. Michelle wore this wispy little white Erdem dress and black Roger Vivier shoes which don’t really go with the dress. The dress itself is very pretty. I would love it on Sofia Vergara. I would love it on Angelina Jolie. I would not love it on Anne Hathaway. You know why? Because much like Michelle, Anne Hathaway is too pale to make these creams and whites work. And much like Michelle, Anne is the other girl who would also try to make this dress work.

Note: I’m not hating on pale girls. I love the pale and proud girls. I love all of you and your SPF. I love nothing more than a pale person with some adorable freckles. I just wish *some* pale girls would know when they’re giving people snow-blindness when they wear colors that are much too light.

By the way, doesn’t Kenneth Branagh look good these days? I haven’t liked him in a while (the Emma Thompson thing), but he’s aging really well, isn’t he? Very distinguished and dashing.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Last night, there was a gala held at the Museum of Contemporary Art – the gala was for “An Artist’s Life Manifesto” directed by Marina Abramovic. In previous years, MOCA galas tend to get a good turnout, but this year wasn’t that great, so I’m just including some of the bigger names in this post. Here’s our headlining lady, Dita Von Teese in what I think might be Vivienne Westwood (update: it’s Gaultier, thanks!). I absolutely hate it! Dita has been having some bad public appearances recently, which pisses me off. I used to love everything in her closet. This dress just looks like an Etch n’ Sketch vomited on her.

I think this dress looks very pretty on Nicole – very flattering, beautiful color. But I don’t like what’s going on from the neck up. Too orange, too many bangs.

Minnie Driver. Er… I hate this dress. It looks like really fug wallpaper from the 1970s. The material is whack – it looks so stiff and shiny.

Gwen Stefani can pull off looks that other girls can’t. Is this one of them? Eh. Her hair is mess, and her posture is throwing everything off.

Is Kiki Dunst pregnant? That’s the question she wants us to be asking, because there’s no other reason to wear this sack dress.

Photos courtesy of WENN.