The second happiest place on earth isn’t so happy after all. The fur is flying at the Playboy mansion. Who would ever have thought that putting three vain, quasi-famous nude models in the same house would be problematic? Especially when they’re all hooking up with the same rich guy? I know! Sounds like a recipe for harmony and happiness to me. But apparently some people just can’t appreciate a good thing – and two of the three girlfriends of Hugh Hefner are fighting like cats and dogs.

TMZ spies tell us Hef’s number one Bunny Holly Madison is ruling the Mansion with an iron fist … causing major drama with the staff and on the set of “The Girls Next Door.” We’re told everyone “hates” Holly, but no one more than Kendra Wilkinson, Hef’s other Bunny-in-Waiting.

It’s gotten so bad, those two can’t be in a room for more than five minutes without totally going at it. And that’s posing major problems for producers of the show who have to shoot around the flying fur. As for Bridget, she’s Switzerland, often trying, but failing, to keep the peace.

Our spies also say Holly’s ambition is spilling over to the magazine too. She wants to have editorial control over the mag’s spreads — which is not going over well with longtime employees.

For their part, “Girls” producers tell us they’re “not aware” of any rift between the ladies — affecting the show or life at the Mansion.

[From TMZ]

I’m kind of embarrassed to admit that I actually have seen this show a couple of times, despite my loudly proclaimed hatred of non-scripted television. It’s pretty obvious that Kendra and Holly don’t like each other, even if they’re technically nice to one another on the air. They’re total opposites. Kendra has often been rumored to be bisexual or gay, and is definitely more of a tough tomboy type. Holly is uber girlie, and has told everyone who will listen that she wants to have Hef’s baby. I really doubt that’s because she’s so in love with him – but it’d be a great payday for sure.

Something tells me this can all be solved with a good old fashioned pillow fight. As can most things.

Header of Bridget Marquardt, Hugh Hefner, Holly Madison, and Kendra Wilkinson at AFI’s Lifetime achievement award honoring Warren Beatty on June 12th. Below, Hef and the girls at the Playboy Jazz Festival in Los Angeles on June 14th. Images thanks to WENN.

Is Jessica Simpson delusional enough to think that she’s more talented than American Idol alum and current country chart-topper Carrie Underwood? Carrie is the top selling ‘Idol’ winner of all time, with both of her CDs going multi-platinum and earning three Grammy wins in the last two years. Meanwhile, Jessica’s “A Public Affair” album flopped, her movie career tanked, and she made a country album as a last resort. She’s even dating Carrie’s leftovers in the form of Dallas Cowboy Tony Romo. So when Jessica was photographed wearing a T-shirt that read “Real Girls Eat Meat”– it was perceived as an obvious dig at Underwood, who was just voted GoVeg.com’s “Sexiest Vegetarian.”

As you can see, Jessica Simpson was recently caught wearing a “Real Girls Eat Meat” T-shirt. Puhleeze!

For a gal who’s best known for her less-than-stellar brains (Chicken of the Sea, anyone?) and her ability to proportionately fill out daisy dukes, I’m gonna go on record saying that if anyone had to wear a ridiculous shirt like this, I’m glad it was Jessica—as people are more likely to follow the opposite of her lead … ya know, since she’s so well respected and all (yes, that was difficult to type without tossing in a hefty LOL). Maybe the meat-eaters of the world will be embarrassed to be categorized in the same field as Jessica Simpson.

[From the PETA Blog]

In Touch says that the rift between the two blond singers goes a little deeper. Apparently, Tony Romo was still e-mailing and texting Carrie even after he started seeing Jessica- and Simpson is still pissed about it.

“Jessica is worried that Tony still has feelings for Carrie,” an insider says. “She doesn’t want them talking.”

It also doesn’t help that the American Idol winner is her rival in the music business. “Carrie has the career that Jessica wants,” her pal explains.

But from the way things looked at the CMA Music Festival, Carrie, 25, is not a big fan of Jessica’s either. During the festival, which took place June 5-8, the two women seemed to avoid each other – even though event organizers were intent on getting them together. “They wanted Jess to introduce Carrie, or have them attend a charity event together, or maybe even do a duet to put the rumors to rest about the feud,” a CMA insider explains. “But everything that was thrown out there was rebuffed.”

[From In Touch Weekly print version, June 23, 2008]

I think it comes down to this: Jessica Simpson is a desperate fame whore who will do anything to stay relevant, even abandon her pop career and try country if she thinks people will pay attention to her. An artist like Carrie, who has been performing country music her entire life, even when appearing on the very mainstream pop ‘Idol,’ probably sees Jessica’s foray into country as an insult. As for the Tony Romo thing, any problems Jessica has in that relationship, she can thank her dad for- not Carrie Underwood. And finally, it always seems like Jessica is feuding with another girl who has the career she wants- remember how she ragged on Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera? Instead of taking digs at girls who have a better career, maybe Jessica should focus on her own sorry ass.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Jessica Simpson is shown in NY on 6/10/08 and at the CMA Music Festival on 6/6/08, thanks to WENN. You can see her in the asinine “Real Girls Eat Meat” shirt on Bauer Griffin Online.

There could be an off screen rivalry between Jennifer Aniston, 39, and her co-star Jennifer Connelly, 37, in the upcoming film He’s Just not That Into You. Aniston is said to have demanded that Connelly not appear with her in a cast photo for the cover of Marie Claire. Only Drew Barrymore and Ginnifer Goodwin could be shown with Aniston according to her stipulations, and she was to be the focus of the shoot. It’s unknown why Aniston and Connelly aren’t getting along, but they’re said to have acted cold to each other on set:

Connelly… will not be included in an upcoming cover shoot for Marie Claire magazine that will feature Aniston… and her other co-stars from the October comedy, Drew Barrymore and Ginnifer Goodwin. “Word is, Aniston threatened to pull out if Jennifer was part of the cover,” says an insider familiar with the movie’s shoot. “It was all about getting Jennifer Aniston front and center and looking as sexy as possible.”

So what’s Jen’s beef with [Connelly]? While Aniston’s rep denies that there’s any discord between the actresses, they just didn’t hit it off, says the insider: “There was no camaraderie between those two whatsoever. They didn’t seem like friends in the slightest.”

[From Life & Style, print edition, June 23, 2008]

I wonder what happened between Connelly and Aniston if this is true. Maybe Aniston realizes that Oscar-winning actress Connelly could potentially eclipse her as the film’s star if given a chance. IMDB has the plot containing a “series of interconnecting story arcs” so it’s possible that they get as much screen time.

There’s also a lot of talk about another one of Aniston’s potential rivalries. Her ex husband’s new partner, Angelina Jolie, has her film The Changeling out on October 24, which also when He’s Just Not That Into You first hits theaters. Since one film is a romantic comedy, and the other is a drama there doesn’t seem to be much competition. Aniston’s film is likely to do better just because of the subject matter and format.

Jennifer Connelly is shown at the Costume Institute Gala on 5/5/08, thanks to WENN. Jennifer Aniston is shown on set with Owen Wilson (below) on 5/21/08, thanks to Splash News.

Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky on 5/4/08
If I hadn’t heard it for myself, I never would have believed it. The “King of All Media,” Howard Stern, and the former “Queen of Nice,” Rosie O’Donnell, could end up working together on Sirius. The pair were once engaged in a vicious war of words, but all that changed when Stern saw her documentary “All Aboard.” He was impressed with the work she was doing with foster kids and children with special needs, and said so on the air- much to the disgust of many listeners. The unlikely pair have been quietly patching things up, and on Tuesday, Rosie called into Howard’s show on Sirius. Stern offered Rosie an hour-long talk special on his channel, Howard 101.

On Stern’s show in 1998, the staff once estimated the size of O’Donnell’s noggin, filled what was deemed a comparable container with jellybeans and challenged visiting celebrities and listeners to guess the number. And O’Donnell always had some choice words about Stern whenever his more militant fans prank-called her self-titled talk show.

In recent years, however, Stern’s rants about Rosie subsided, particularly after he admitted on the air a year or two ago that they had a nice chat when bumping into each other at a restaurant.

Today, O’Donnell called from her home—presumably in South Nyack—to chat it up with Howard and the gang. The gripping interview, which lasted almost an hour, covered her career, her love life and her controversial theory about 9/11.

On quitting her own talk show: “I left because I could no longer enjoy it the way one should enjoy their work, and I was sort of paying someone else to raise my kids and (hated) not having time to live my life.”

On ‘The View’: O’Donnell said she respects her successor, Whoopi Goldberg, because of her ability to be real; remains friendly with Sarah Lawrence College grad Barbara Walters; but was never completely embraced by Joy Behar (for whom O’Donnell opened early in her career as a stand-up comedian). The liberal O’Donnell said she has only exchanged a few baby-related e-mails with conservative “View” cohost Elisabeth Hasselbeck since O’Donnell left the show. Then O’Donnell admitted that Hasselbeck was the most attractive woman on the show.

On her celebrity crushes: O’Donnell, a lesbian, said she really did have a crush on Tom Cruise and revealed that Matthew McConaughey also turned her on while slow-talking his way through a description on how to make beer-can chicken. She said her current celebrity crushes include Angelina Jolie, Angela Bassett, Penelope Cruz, Salma Hayek and Diane Lane. Not on that list, however, is Stern’s fiancée, Beth Ostrosky, whom O’Donnell complimented and described as a “too perfect … Barbie doll.”

On her love life: She said she was sexually abused as a child, lost her virginity when she was 21 to a man, and could count her number of sexual conquests on “two hands.” She added that rumors of a wild life as a single woman had been greatly exaggerated, adding, “I’m not even nude in the shower.”

[From Suburbarazzi]

That was way more than I want to know about Rosie. Still: if these two can make up, anyone can. Last year, when Stern sidekick Artie Lange contemplated leaving the show, Stern actually considered replacing him with O’Donnell. At that time, he said, “Hey, Rosie really mixed it up on The View, she caused controversy on a daily basis and I’m a big fan of controversy. Controversy brings listeners. Much of my career has been based on lesbians and controversy, Rosie is a double whammy.” That may be true, but I don’t know if I could tune in and listen to an hour of Rosie every morning.

Rosie O’Donnell and Kelli Carpenter O’Donnell are shown below at the PS 122 Spring Gala on 5/15/08. All images thanks to WENN.

I’ve gotta say, at this point I think both Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards should be banished to some remote, uninhabitable island. They clearly cannot behave like even barely-sane people. The way they talk about each other really should be some sort of crime. If nothing else, they should be horribly, horribly embarrassed by their behavior. Sadly, it seems that’s not the case.

Denise has been doing a ton of press this last week for her upcoming (and crappily reviewed) reality show, Denise Richards: It’s Complicated. Not surprisingly, that’s turned out to be a really bad idea. Because whenever she so much as utters the name Charlie Sheen, he feels the need to respond. And the same goes for Denise. And they end up locked in this ridiculous game of one-upmanship that would make Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump blush with embarrassment.

Earlier this week Richards accused Sheen of faking the infamous sperm donor email, after which Charlie Sheen’s friends told the New York Post that Richards was essentially a money grubbing loser.

Yesterday Denise responded by claiming Charlie sent her text messages in which he said he hoped she and her father got cancer and died like her mother.

“For him to slam me saying I’m exploiting the kids, well, he’s exploited our entire situation,” Richards fumed to us yesterday. She claims Sheen obsessively sends her rage-filled text messages.

Click to see Richards reading her favorite newspaper.

“Last week, I sent Charlie a text message asking him if he’s going to Family Day [for daughter Sam's school] and letting him know Sam was sick with a cold,” Richards said. “His response was, ‘I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore.’ My mom died of cancer. This is what I deal with on a weekly basis.

“He missed Dad’s day at the school and my father had to go in his place. And this is how he talks to me?”

[From the New York Post]

For a minute there, you’re thinking to yourself, “Wow, he’s really terrible, Denise must be classier than Charlie.” But then she finishes her interview with the Post by bringing up the sperm donor emails again.

Richards claims the e-mails sent to Mueller were fakes: “I don’t want Charlie’s prostitute-tranny-infested sperm. I have two beautiful kids. We’ll leave it at that. I am so over him. He’s the one who can’t move on. He’s disgusting and he’s hit an all-time low.”

[From the New York Post]

Hey Denise – I can tell just by looking at your easily confused face that you’re not the brightest bulb in the box. So I’m going to point two things out to you. Number one: saying stuff like that about your ex-husband makes you look even less classy than he does. So really, you two are engaged in a battle of one-downmanship at this point.

Number two: that “tranny-infested sperm” is what created your two beautiful kids. So if nothing else, you used to want it. And someday when your daughters learn how to look stuff up on the internet, they’re probably going to run across that comment. And if they’re even just a little smarter than you, they’re going to realize that their mom just said that they were created from tranny-infested parts.

I think those poor girls are probably going to have a lot of psychological issues, simply because they’re Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards’ kids, and they always seem so glum. It’s probably a good idea to remember that when Denise insults her ex-husband, she’s also insulting her children’s father. And the same goes for Charlie.

Here’s Denise Richards leaving her Manhattan hotel and posing with sailors for Fleet Week yesterday. Images thanks to WENN.

If I could be start life again and choose who I would be born as, I would be Mark A. Perigard. Who? The brilliant reviewer for the Boston Herald, who started off his review of Denise Richards’ new reality show Denise Richards: It’s Complicated with the following: “Denise Richards’ life is one steaming pile of pig poop.”

While he goes on to explain a little more – turns out pig poop really does play a central role in Richards’ life – the metaphor sticks. And when you reflect on all the negative press Richards and ex-husband Charlie Sheen have been engaging in towards each other over the last few weeks, you realize that her life really is pig poop, and nothing more. Man I love feeling superior.

In the debut of her allegedly unscripted series “Denise Richards: It’s Complicated” the actress, ex-wife of Charlie Sheen and tabloid mainstay heads up a household stuffed with humans and animals. It’s hard to tell who matters more. In the opener, her pet pigs win out.

Two pigs mount each other in a soft glow as Muzak plays. Is this humorous? Animal Planet would show more discretion. Producer Ryan Seacrest (“American Idol”) seems to have lost his grip halfway through the episode. I for one cannot scrub the image out of my head of one of her dogs eating pig poo. Thank you, Seacrest.

In the human side of this heroic life, Richards is trolling for a new man. It’s hard finding one who can (ewww) measure up to her standards. “Everyone says I need to date a normal guy. What is normal, anyway? For me, normal is a famous actor or a rock star. That’s normal,” she says.

She reluctantly agrees to a blind date, but the man inadvertently trips her gaydar. Sheen went public with complaints that Richards was using their toddlers in the series to rehab her image. The kids are cute, but they’re like everything else here – part of the wallpaper of Richards’ ditzy life.

[From the Boston Herald]

Charlie Sheen infamously called Denise Richards a “sad, jobless pig” in an email last fall. I guess she decided to roll with it. Apparently we’re supposed to see Denise as this “complicated” woman who’s beautiful but will still scoop the pig poo when she needs to. Something tells me it won’t work.

Sheen’s argument that Richards is using their daughters Sam and Lola has some validity. I’ve never seen one single picture of their kids when they don’t look absolutely miserable – especially when they’re with Denise. Seriously, regular kids learn to smile for the camera. Yet the little daughters of two “famous” celebrities can’t muster it.

It’s actually really sad to look at their faces. I’m wondering if the show will manage to edit enough to make it seem like Sam and Lola are actually happy, or if we’ll be subjected to a half hour’s proof that these kids in are in for a lifetime of suckitude.

Here’s a clip from Denise’s show. Thanks to Redlasso. Header of Denise leaving Fox Studios in Manhattan after promoting her show yesterday. Images thanks to WENN.

Rageaholic model Naomi Campbell got some major drama dished her way on her 38th birthday on Wednesday. The former “it” girl spent the day with friends in Cannes. Sounds like a nice birthday, no? Well late that night – sometime around three in the morning – Campbell and company joined a party on P Diddy’s yacht. And that’s where are the trouble started.

Turns out Diddy and Naomi have a long history of drama. In fact it seems that it’s more him than her, surprising as it may be. So chilling with a guy that doesn’t like you probably wasn’t the best way to end an evening for Naomi.

Naomi Campbell was reduced to tears on her birthday last night – recalling quite vividly the Lesley Gore hit song It’s My Party And I’ll Cry If I Want To. Naomi celebrated her 38th birthday with friends in Cannes, and then moved on to a VIP party aboard music mogul P Diddy’s yacht.

She was all smiles as she arrived in a glamorous lace frock but, around 3am this morning, she was spotted looking clearly upset.

The reason for her meltdown remains unclear, but Naomi and Diddy do have a history of confrontation.

According to reports last year — at Jermaine Dupri’s Grammy afterparty in LA — Diddy shouted at Naomi in the middle of the party, leaving her shocked and upset.

[From the Daily Mail]

TMZ says that Naomi didn’t just leave Diddy’s boat – he threw her off. Which, when you’re talking about a boat, sounds much more dramatic than getting thrown out of a club. Unfortunately he didn’t make her walk the blank or actually dump her ass of the side of the boat. Bummer.

Naomi garnered a lot of negative press for bringing convicted con man Christophe Rocancourt as her date to the Cannes premiere of Che. He conned several A and B-list Hollywood celebs, so perhaps that had something to do with the Diddy/Campbell blowup.

Here’s Naomi with Christophe Rocancourt on May 21st in Cannes. Diddy is shown at amfAR’s annual Cinema Against AIDS gala in Cannes on May 22nd. Images thanks to WENN.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz were due to have their shotgun wedding last weekend when Ashlee decided she didn’t want her dad, a former Baptist minister, officiating. She got it in mind that she was going to have a Buddhist minister instead, despite never having previously expressed an interest in Buddhism that I could find. The argument between Ashlee and her dad got so heated that she said she would cancel the wedding if he wouldn’t let her have a Buddhist priest preside. Ashlee’s fiancé Pete Wentz stepped in and was able to save the wedding by convincing Ashlee to give in to her dad:

“In the 11th hour, Ashlee clashed with her father over the ceremony, and when he would not cave, she actually decided to cancel,” said a family friend.

The dispute… was because Ashlee… decided at the last minute to have a Buddhist priest perform the ceremony instead of her father.

“Joe completely lost it!” the source said.

“They were down to the wire. Every last detail was in place and he could not believe his daughter came up with this last-second Buddhist idea after everything was set.”

Joe Simpson, a former Baptist minister, “dug in his heels,” according to the source, and told Ashlee there was no way he’d host a Buddhist wedding.

In the end, it was… Pete who saved the day.

“He ran after Ashlee, sat her down and told her there was too much at stake now to cancel the ceremony,” said the source.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, June 2, 2008]

Maybe Joe was pissed because the wedding was all planned out already, but if Ashlee had an available Buddhist minister in mind, and it’s not clear from this article that she did, it seems like a simple change to have a different person officiate. It’s her wedding and she should be the one to decide who is marrying her. Instead Joe Simpson almost let her cancel the whole thing because he was too stubborn to step down and concede his daughter’s wishes! That’s ridiculous. You can understand him being hurt, but it’s his daughter’s special day and he should care enough about her to step down. Instead Joe showed that his ego is more important than his daughter’s feelings.

The National Enquirer has details of Ashlee’s wedding that we’ve partially already heard. She had an “Alice in Wonderland” theme “decorated with a top hat, teapot and pocket watch with a pot of flowers on top…. Tables were laden with black beauty roses… and tents were decked out with black chandeliers, black rugs and white couches with red pillows.” Guests dined on a dinner of “crab cakes, shrimp tacos, sushi, roast organic chicken, Kobe beef and baked Alaska.”

Just Jared has pictures of Ashlee and Pete’s wedding invitation, complete with Alice in Wonderland “eat me” cookie, and their chocolate table settings with guests names.

Ashlee and Pete are shown at LaGuardia airport in New York last night after returning from their honeymoon. They’re in the same pose as on their People cover. Thanks to Splash News.

Here at Celebitchy, we laughed our asses off at Dina Lohan being named a Top Mom by some Long Island housewife association. Apparently, Michael Lohan doesn’t share our sense of humor- in fact, the whole thing has him pissed off and ranting to the media, talking trash about his ex-wife and her mothering skills. Oh yeah, he went there.

Michael fumed, “Are you kidding! Top celebrity mom? Look at her off-screen antics, her lack of morals and how she conducts herself. I guess they forgot to mention how this top super-mom leaves her kids alone at night and even parties in their presence. Just wait until we go back to court.

“She comes stumbling out of Butter at 3:15 a.m. with bloodshot eyes and a red runny nose, yelling ‘Oh, [bleep],’ when she saw the paparazzi,” Michael raged to Page Six.

He also ranted that his ex missed their weekly family therapy appointment in order to attend the award ceremony Tuesday night in Bethpage, LI.

But Dina responded to Michael’s remarks by calling him “infantile.”

“He’s a loose cannon,” she declared. “We speak to a therapist once a week and I’m not required to be there. My kids want me there, so I go. Obviously with our [TV] show and the event, [daughter] Ali and I reschedule.

“I’ve allowed him visitation once a week, so I don’t understand why he’s doing this. He’s jealous that I got the award. He even called the organizers and tried to talk them out of giving it to me.”

[From Page Six]

In typical Dina Lohan fashion, she goes on to say that the last time their rapidly aging starlet daughter Lindsay was in town, she had to hire extra security to keep her father at arm’s length, and that she believes Michael will violate the restraining order she has on him. Notice that she never directly addresses his claims about her bad parenting- instead, she deflects that and paints herself as a victim. You see where Blohan learned that shit? As for Michael, everyone knows he’s just seething with jealousy over the media attention his ex-wife gets. From the accounts I’ve read, his parenting is just as questionable. If ANY of the Lohan kids make it to adulthood without a criminal record, a sex tape, or an addiction of some kind, it will be a miracle.

Note by Celebitchy: Michael Lohan is shown with his girlfriend, who looks a little like his daughter when she was pretty, outside the Waverly Inn on 3/10/08. Thanks to WENN.

Star Jones and Barbara Walters didn’t part company on The View on amicable terms and they’re still not willing to bury the hatchet and move on. Barbara talks about Star candidly in her new upcoming memoir, and includes details about how she used The View to promote wedding sponsors and lied about her gastric bypass surgery.

Barbara Walters said Star was dishonest, greedy on “The View”
Walters gave details of her book in an interview on Oprah yesterday, saying “We had to lie on the set every day because [Star] said it was portion control and Pilates. Well, we knew it wasn’t portion control and Pilates. And the whole point of the program is honesty.” Barbara also said that the viewers didn’t relate to Star anymore after that big obvious lie and that they turned on her.

She dished candidly on Star’s freebie wedding and the way she took advantage of sponsors, saying “The audience, instead of seeing her as this lovely, romantic bride, began to see her as a greedy bride.” Barbara also made it clear that Star manipulated her by giving an interview to People announcing she was leaving The View before it was covered on the show. [via Oprah.com]

Star already admitted to gastric bypass and to first telling View co-hosts
That’s rude of Barbara and all, but it’s not like she’s telling us anything we didn’t know. Star herself eventually admitted she had gastric bypass surgery, as if it wasn’t painfully obvious to everyone following her super rapid weight loss. She told Glamour, in an article published last August, that she kept it quiet because “I didn’t know if the surgery would work. I had never stuck to a diet or committed to exercise for more than a month.”

Star also admitted to Glamour that she told her View co-hosts firsts, so it’s not like Walters is giving us new or private information about Ms. “Wedding for Sale” Jones, she’s just saying she didn’t like the way she handled herself.

Star issues scathing response to Barbara
The newly-separated unemployed Star is showing us all why she’s persona non grata on television now – she really is nasty and can’t wait to attack back. She issued a statement laying into Barbara and personally insulting her, saying Barbara’s other revelations in her memoir about having an affair with a senator 20 years ago humiliated an innocent family “for the sake of selling a book”:

“It is a sad day when an icon like Barbara Walters, in the sunset of her life, is reduced to publicly branding herself as an adulterer, humiliating an innocent family with accounts of her illicit affair and speaking negatively against me all for the sake of selling a book,” Jones told Us. “It speaks to her true character.”

[From US Magazine]

Star should have stewed in her juices for a while before she barked back at Barbara. Now she has even less chance at getting some kind of entertainment career. She’s a lawyer, so maybe she can go work insane hours at a law firm or something. She seems like she’d be really good at scaring people on her clients’ behalf.

Update: Here’s the video. The part where Barbara dishes about Star starts at about 3 minutes in: