Well, as it turns out, the British tabloids got it right. The only thing I’m going to give Madonna credit for is that she waited five days to throw M.I.A. under the bus. Just to recap, during the Super Bowl Half-Time show, Madonna performed her new (terrible) song “Give Me All Your Luv” with Nicki Minaj and M.I.A. You know exactly why Madge “collaborated” with Minaj and M.I.A. Madonna knows why she collaborated with them too. Because she’s 50-something years old and she desperately wants to be young again, and failing that, she’s trying to “borrow” the youth of performers like Nicki and M.I.A. Anyway, during the half-time show, M.I.A. slipped the bird to the camera while singing “I don’t give a sh-t…” Here’s the video again:

The British tabloids claimed that Madge was seriously pissed off at M.I.A. for basically stealing focus from her – classic Madge, right? What would Madge be if not a giant vacuum of narcissism? As it turns out, the tabloids were right – Madonna really is pissed off at M.I.A. She said so during an interview with Ryan Seacrest yesterday:

Sounds like M.I.A. made a very powerful enemy in Madonna. Backing up the pop legend alongside Nicki Minaj at last Sunday’s Super Bowl halftime show, the British/Sri Lankan rapper nearly hijacked the spectacle when she flipped her middle finger; the obscene gesture aired on live TV as over 100 million viewers watched.

But this wasn’t a provocative move planned in advance with Madonna a la her infamous VMAs kiss with Britney Spears. “I was really surprised. I didn’t know anything about it,” Madonna, 53, told Ryan Seacrest Friday during a radio chat for On Air With Ryan Seacrest. “I wasn’t happy about it.”

Explained the singer, who invited M.I.A. (real name: Mathangi Arulpragasamand) and Minaj to perform on “Gimme All Your Luvin’,” the lead single off her album MDNA: “I understand it’s punk rock and everything, but to me there was such a feeling of love and good energy, and positivity it seemed negative.”

“It’s such a teenager…irrelevant thing to do,” she sniped. “There was such a feeling of love and unity there. What was the point? It was just out of place.”

Besides, Madonna was nervous enough for her big moment without M.I.A.’s unexpected gesture. Her most stressful moments? “When my throne docked on the stage,” she said of her dramatic entrance. “Then getting my cartwheels on the bleachers right.”

By the time the 12-minute set concluded with “Like a Prayer” (with Cee Lo Green singing alongside her), “I was overwhelmed,” she said. “I started crying. I felt an incredible sense of warmth, love, and support. To see an entire stadium light up like candles it was…like a religious experience.”

[From Us Weekly]

“It’s such a teenager…irrelevant thing to do…” Is it wrong to admit that I agree with the argument Madge is making (but not WHY she is making it)? It was just a dumb, immature thing for M.I.A. to do. But that’s not why Madonna is pissed off. Madge is pissed off because A) She didn’t think of doing it first and B) Doing “teenage” things is Madonna’s game, bitch and C) No one was talking about MADONNA!!!!!!!!! Waaaaah!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Brandi Glanville of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was a guest on Access Hollywood yesterday. A new RHOBH aired yesterday, but since it was Halloween I haven’t had the chance to watch it yet. (You can read a recap on E!) On yesterday’s episode, Kim revealed her really rough looking boyfriend, a neighbor of hers who is probably enabling her drug habit. She’s clearly looped out of skull most of the time and is barely coherent on the show. It’s hard to watch, and new castmember Brandi seems to be the only person pointing out the obvious by calling out Kim’s drug problems.

On Access Hollywood, Brandi clarified that she doesn’t think Kim is on meth exactly, but that she jumped to that conclusion after Kim was two hours late to game night and then kept going in and out of the bathroom for 20 minutes at a time. The crystal meth thing was just something Brandi threw out there after she was incredibly frustrated for being attacked by Kim and her sister Kyle. Brandi also said that the conflict on the show was real, but that producers put them in situations where it would arise. I believe her, honestly, but I also think it’s something she and the other castmembers know they have to do in order to stay on the show. Here’s more:

Fans will remember that Brandi accused Kim of doing crystal meth during their game night get-together – something she now regrets saying.

“I don’t actually think she was on crystal meth,” she said. “I don’t even know where that came from!”

According to Brandi, she’s only been able to mend her relationship with one of the Richards sisters.

“Kyle and I have talked and I’ve apologized and she’s apologized. I haven’t spoken to Kim, I try throughout the whole season,” she explained.

The show’s rollercoaster of drama, trash talking and fights left Brandi wondering if she made a wise move joining the show.

“I was kind of wondering if I was doing the right thing,” she said when asked about the effect the show was having on her. “At the end of the day it’s just a TV show and I have amazing family and friends that love me and I’m not going to let these women get to me. And I needed a job.”

Brandi, who was previously married to Eddie Cibrian, revealed to Billy and Kit that she’s back in the dating pool.

“I’m dating, yes,” she said. “I like tall dark and handsome [men]… I just like somebody who is sweet, good smile, good conversation, just a happy person. I can’t deal with negative people.”

[From Access Hollywood]

As I’ve said before I really like Brandi. Of course I’ve e-mailed with her back and forth, and she took the time to give us an interview last year. She comes across very well on RHOBH and in interviews. Yes she was swearing and she got loud on game night, but she explained herself well and had good reason to defend herself. Even though she’s as Botoxed as the rest of them there’s something very genuine about her. It’s not only her looks that threaten the rest of the women, it’s the fact that she’s simply more likable.

Kim’s drug habit is obvious and hard to watch, though. You would hope that producers would cut Kim from the show after the behavior she’s shown over this past season. They didn’t cut all of Russell Armstrong’s segments, though, and that dude killed himself after filming wrapped. They’re not going to try to keep Kim’s drug habit off the air at all. They’re even introducing us to her incredibly sketchy “boyfriend.”

A few months ago, Kelly Osbourne rather gleefully declared that Christina Aguilera’s weight gain meant that “Christina is becoming the fat bitch she was born to be.” This came after years of alleged and not-so-alleged back-and-forth between Christina and Kelly, and I should point out – it does seem like Christina started it when she really started criticizing Kelly’s weight years ago. Back in August, when Kelly first called Christina a fat bitch, Christina was only slightly larger, mind you, because as we’ve seen over the last week and a half, Christina has really been boozing it up hard, and it’s written all over her face and body. When Kelly and the rest of the Fashion Police crew were discussing Christina’s weight gain and general disastrous appearance during the Michael Jackson tribute, Kelly once again took some shots at Christina.

Kelly Osbourne sure holds a grudge. On E!’s Fashion Police Friday, the 26-year-old slammed Christina Aguilera for her weight. “She called me fat for years,” Osbourne said. “I was never that fat.”

Osbourne was criticizing Aguilera’s performance look at last weekend’s Michael Jackson Tribute Concert. The 30-year-old paired a pantsless ensemble with fishnet tights, heavy makeup and supersized hair.

But Ozzy’s daughter wasn’t the only cohost to attack Aguilera’s figure. “Lady Marmalade got into the peanut butter again,” Joan Rivers sniped.

“I’m looking at this and thinking, ‘Well, she’s put on weight. This just isn’t flattering,’” George Kotsiopoulos said. “But this is just a crappy outfit, regardless. No matter what shape your body is in, it’s just bad.”

Kotsiopoulos pointed out Aguilera was “still probably a size 2/4,” but Osbourne was quick to disagree.

“Trust me,” she said. “I’m a 2/4. That is not a 2/4.”

This isn’t the first time Osbourne has criticized The Voice coach. Last month on E!’s Fashion Police she called Aguilera a “fat bitch.”

“She called me fat for so many f***ing years,” Osbourne vented, “so you know what? F**k you! You’re fat too.”

Ironically, Osbourne battled with her weight in the past, but after her 2009 stint on Dancing with the Stars she shed 48 pounds and kept it off. “I took more hell for being fat than I did for being an absolute raging drug addict. I will never understand that,” she told Us in 2010. Osbourne checked into rehab for drug and alcohol addiction three times.

[From Us Weekly]

CB thinks Kelly is full of it for declaring “I was never that fat.” Because Kelly was as heavy as Christina at one point, although to give Kelly some credit, she wore her extra weight a lot better (I’ve included older photos of Kelly at the end of the post). I think Christina’s frame is more petite, so her weight gain is more noticeable. Also: Kelly is a size 2/4 currently? Just like Kim Kardashian and Kirstie Alley, I suppose.

Here are some photos of Kelly when she was as heavy as Christina – the ones where Kelly has black hair are from 2007, and the blonde spiky one is from 2009. Kelly’s body then looks pretty similar to Christina’s body now.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

“Family Guy” creator Seth MacFarlane was on Piers Morgan last night. I’m not a real “Family Guy” fan, but I recognize how gloriously obnoxious and funny it can be and I love how it pushes boundaries. There was a joke on “Family Guy” back during the Writers Guild strike of 2007-2008 making fun of Jon Stewart for continuing to produce shows instead of honoring the strike. (I can’t find that footage from “Family Guy,” so if any of you have seen it, please comment with a link!) After that happened, Jon Stewart personally called Seth MacFarlane up and bitched to him about it for an hour. On the show last night, Morgan questioned MacFarlane about this phone call with Stewart, and MacFarlane was all “how did you find out about this,” but he actually talked about it in a 2008 Time interview*. (I was ready to blame wiretapping.)

During the taping for tonight’s Piers Morgan, the muckraking Brit sprang questions about a never-revealed war of war of words between guest Seth MacFarlane andThe Daily Show anchor Jon Stewart. According to Morgan’s crack investigators, Stewart called the Family Guy creator up in 2008 after MacFarlane lampooned Stewart for continuing to air The Daily Show during the 2007 Writers Guild strike. MacFarlane described Stewart as “angry” and himself both “shocked” and “frustrated” during the hour-long the telephonic ambush. He explained, “I think [Jon’s] response was ‘Who the hell made you the moral arbiter of Hollywood?’”

When Morgan noted, “There’s a certain irony in Jon Stewart ringing up and haranguing you for mocking him, isn’t there?” MacFarlane responded, “If I say yes, he’ll crucify me on his show for a year.” MacFarlane, who admitted he was outmatched by Stewart’s phenomenal debate skills, was surprised Morgan even knew about the altercation, saying, “My publicist has forbidden me to talk about this ever since it happened.”

[From Entertainment Weekly]

Well MacFarlane did talk about this in 2008 as we mentioned, and after he told Time I bet that was when his publicist told him to can it.

I used to not get the appeal of this guy that so many of you adore, but now that I’ve seen him interviewed I get it. He has an infectious enthusiasm, and he’s open, funny and smart. I like what how he explained his position on this to Morgan. “In that situation I think it is incumbent on people in a certain position to stand up for the people who haven’t made it yet, if that can, if it’s low risk.

“My argument is that you’re the most successful guy on that network and arguably the most successful television personality in the genre…. He was not pleased. I think his response was, ‘who the hell made you the moral arbiter of Hollywood.’”

I really like Stewart’s humor and politics, and I get the urge to continue to put out shows during a long strike, but MacFarlane made a very good argument here. He also stood up for the union during the strike. Here’s a link to a video of him speaking at a WGA event in 2007. He said “A novelist receives fair royalties for their books, a musician receives fair royalties for their songs, screenwriters deserve fair royalties for their work.”

*Thanks to VideoGum for a lot of the background links!

Jessica Simpson and Nicole Richie are working together on a Project Runway-knockoff show called Fashion Star. It’s already started filming, and it will be airing on NBC in a few months. About a month ago, The Enquirer reported that Jessica and Nicole weren’t getting along at all. The claim was that Nicole is super-professional, always on time, always knows her mark, and that Nicole is kind of a Mean Girl. On the other side, Jessica is always late, always farting, always dumb as a box of mall hair, never knows what she’s doing or where she’s going, and she doesn’t even realize Nicole is mocking her and making fat jokes about her. It was an interesting story, and I really didn’t have any problem buying that dynamic between the two women. Now Us Weekly seems to be confirming that there are definitely issues between Nicole and Jess:

Two blonde ex-reality stars turned fashionistas don’t see eye-to-eye? Who could’ve predicted that one?

Nicole Richie and Jessica Simpson are both mentors on Fashion Star, a reality competition for aspiring designers debuting midseason on NBC. But a source tells the new Us Weekly — on stands now — that there’s “definite friction” between the two women.

“They chat only when they need to, and they have wildly different opinions about style,” adds an insider.

Richie, 29, “thinks Jessica doesn’t have much of a high-fashion eye” and “makes snarky comments about Jessica’s outfits,” according to a source.

But Simpson, 31, isn’t phased by Richie’s digs. She “really doesn’t care what Nicole thinks,” says an insider. After all, Simpson’s fashion empire had $750 million in sales in 2010, while Richie’s lines pulled in an estimated $10 million.

“Nicole may know trends, but Jessica believes she know how to make clothes for all kinds of women,” says a source. Still, other insiders tell Us the ladies “get along well, and hang out on set.”

[From Us Weekly]

Hm… I don’t think Jessica’s style is all that great either, but she occasionally wears stuff that I really like. On the other hand, I almost always hate what Nicole wears. She’s still doing that boho crap that’s SO Sienna Miller circa 2004. And when Nicole tries to go glam, it’s almost always cheap-looking and over-processed too. Honestly, neither one of them has any business judging fashion, but I’ll give Jessica more of a pass because her clothing lines are so wildly successful, while Nicole’s House of Harlow crap looks like 1970s vomit.

By the way, Jessica denied that story that originated in In Touch Weekly a few weeks ago, about the possibility that she might undergo a breast reduction before her wedding. Jessica tweeted her thoughts:

[From Jessica’s Twitter]

Ugh, “boobies”. Just say boobs. Or tittays. Or “the girls”. Or rack. Or “the money makers”. Boobies is just so juvenile.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Pacific Coast News.

It looks like there’s some “professional” rivalry between Jessica and Ashlee Simpson. The National Enquirer reports that they’re so at odds over some tween clothing line they’re working on launching together that they’re screaming at each other. Things are said to be so tense between them that Ashlee might not even go to Jessica’s wedding, whenever she’s having it. This whole story is pretty ripe considering how terribly they individually dress. Apparently Jessica’s tastes tend toward girly while Ashlee wants something closer to Avril Lavigne’s punk style. So ugly-frilly vs. ugly distressed look. Take your pick.

Jessica Simpson and her sister Ashlee… announced in June that they’re launching a joint tween clothing line, but sources say they’re now fighting like cats and dogs over it.

“Jessica and Ashlee are butting heads over the direction of the clothes,” an insider divulged.

“Jess prefers girly frills like lace and flowers. She leans more toward sexy dresses and low-cut tops. But Ashlee wants a more punk-rock look. She’s pushing for ripped jeans and neon t-shirts.

“Their disagreements have set off a virtual [war] with them screaming at each other in front of underlings…

“Jessica constantly throws her fashion success in Ashlee’s face,” the insider revealed.

“Ashlee also feels Jess wasn’t supportive after she split from husband Pete Wentz… She needed a shoulder to lean on and Jess was nowhere in sight.

“Now Ashlee is so angry with Jessica’s bossy ways that she’s threatening to boycott her wedding to Eric later this year,” said the source.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, September 5, 2011]

I always thought Ashlee and Jessica were tight, so this is surprising to me. Still, if you look at how they dress it’s easy to see that there’s no way they would be able to agree on styles for a joint fashion line. The photo above doesn’t really capture how stark their fashion differences are, so here are a few candids of them out separately recently. I think the common denominator here is “fug,” though. They definitely have that in common. Oh and animal prints.

Ashlee is friends with Nicky Hilton I guess. Who knew? Who cared?

Photo credit: WENN, Fame, Pacific Coast News

Star Magazine had this recent story about how Cameron Diaz is getting catty about Jennifer Lopez’s on set behavior. They’re co-starring in that sure-to-be crapfest What to Expect When You’re Expecting and allegedly have a mutual disdain for each other. Cameron is said to be more vocal about how much she dislikes Lopez while Lopez just totally ignores Cameron. I could see this happening, although it’s in Star so it’s possibly fiction.

“Jennifer and Cameron don’t like each other,” an insider tells Star. “They don’t interact much, but when they do, the tension is thick.”

The A-listers’ frosty relationship is particularly glaring because J.Lo, 42, has bonded with… other cast members [including] Brooklyn Decker [and] has also been linked to her on-screen mate, Rodrigo Santoro. “Cam sees all that stuff and hoopla around J.Lo’s divorce from Marc Anthony and whether she’s dating Rodrigo as a distraction from work,” says the insider. “She’s also annoyed by Jennifer’s huge entourage, which includes her mom, three assistants, makeup and hair people and her manager. She made a snide comment to the effect of, ‘How many people does it take for one woman to film a simple scene?’”

Cameron, 38, has even taken a shot at the acting skills of [J.Lo]… “She said Jennifer has a lot to learn and made a dig about how she’d be better off sticking to her day jobs – meaning singing and judging Idol…”

[J.Lo] “doesn’t seem to care,” says the insider. “She doesn’t talk about Cam or ask about her. She just acts as if Cam doesn’t exist.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, August 29, 2011]

I hope that’s true since it’s so awesomely bitchy.

There are tons more stories on J.Lo in this week’s tabloids. There’s yet another piece in Star, about how Marc allegedly wants his estranged wife back and is making headway in that department. They quote an insider who says “Jennifer is open to not going through a messy divorce. She is actually listening to Marc, and Marc has been trying to mend the relationship… Marc has been calling her a lot, saying he is sorry for the way he treated her and that he will change. And he says he has changed already.”

Meanwhile US Weekly has a completely different take on Marc’s phone calls to Jennifer. “He calls her nonstop, especially when he’s drinking, and they had a huge argument in early August. Marc is constantly harassing her and doesn’t think she’ll go through with the divorce… she has no interest in reconciling.” That sounds straight from Jennifer’s camp while the Star take is from Marc’s.

And In Touch has Jennifer trying to protect her assets from her Marc’s skeletal grubby paws. They quote an insider who says “Marc doesn’t want this divorce, and Jennifer thinks he might get his revenge by hitting her where it hurts – her bank account… She won’t give Marc one cent of her earnings.” But of course they live in California, with Lopez’s lawyer telling In Touch “By California law, Marc has a right to half of her earnings made during their marriage.” You know she’s going to fight like hell. This is about to get interesting.

I saw the first episode of The Voice last week, and if anyone needs a “poker face,” it’s Christina Aguilera. She regularly makes expressions to show her disappointment when a contestant is revealed as less than svelte or somehow non-traditional looking. She generally comes across as a superficial person, and seems much less nurturing than the other judges, particularly Blake Shelton. (Shelton has apologized for his anti-gay remarks on Twitter, which he explains were a rewrite of a Shania Twain song.)

As part of the show, the judges pick a team of singers (after the “blind” auditions) and coach them to compete with other teams. It sounds like it was during one of the mentoring sessions that Christina went off on Lady Gaga in a scene that had to be cut from the show.

Christina was unable to contain her feelings [about Lady Gaga] during a recent taping of “The Voice” – and began blatantly bragging about how much more entertaining she is than Gaga.

“Christina told a contestant she was 10 times better than Gaga, said her rival was annoying – and expressed her amazement that Gaga ever got famous,” disclosed a set insider.

“It caused quite a scene, and producers insisted on reshooting the segment.”

Christina has had other shocking outbursts, and she has become extremely unpopular with show staffers. One describes her as “a bitter person with an ax to grind about everything,” adding that the singer’s cursing requires that her on-camera comments be heavily edited.

“She’s like a bitter old woman trapped in a 30 year-old’s body!” said the insider.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, May 16, 2011]

I believe this. Back in 2009, someone asked Christina if she thought Lady Gaga was copying her, and she denied knowing who Gaga was in an hilariously bitchy way. “I’m not quite sure who this person is, to be honest. I don’t know if it is a man or a woman. I just wasn’t sure. I really don’t spend any time on the Internet.” Lady Gaga in turn called the comparisons to Aguilera flattering and said she should send her flowers.

Two years later and Gaga is all over the place with hit singles, touring and raking in the dough while Aguilera’s last CD was a big flop and she’s forgetting the words to the National Anthem. I could see Aguilera going off on Gaga. It’s just a shame that producers decided to cut those scenes, because the show could have received even more buzz. I’m surprised we haven’t heard more stories about how Christina is drunk and/or generally wreaking havoc behind the scenes.

Christina is shown out on 5/4/11 with boyfriend Matt Rutler. Credit: Fame. Lady Gaga is shown performing in Florida on 4/16/11. Credit: WENN.com

We haven’t paid much attention to Avril Lavigne in a while. There was that period of time when she was regularly going to paparazzi-friendly clubs and spitting on anyone who tried to photograph her, but that was back in 2006. She’s since calmed down under douche Brody Jenner’s influence, whose stepmom taught him to kiss paparazzi ass for the sake of their family’s bank account. Avril has given a lot of obnoxious interviews, here’s a link to one that has a recap of several others, but the last glaringly bad interview that I can find from her is from 2008. I think she’s still a little tw*t, (you can substitute an a or an i there, your call) but she’s probably learned to keep her mouth shut.

Anyway, John Legend’s girlfriend, Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Chrissy Teigen, is passing the time lately by talking smack on Twitter. She recently used a Seinfeld quote to say how insufferable Avril Lavigne is. It probably takes one to know one, but she strikes me as funny, unlike Avril:

John Legend’s super sexy (but totally brash), Sports Illustrated model girlfriend, Chrissy Teigen, has some fightin’ words for Avril Lavigne.

The bikini-clad Thai and Norwegian model must think she’s LeAnn Rimes or something ‘cause she’s very vocal on her Twitter account, and she recently took to it to express her disdain for the punk rock pop star…

“If u told me I could have 1 kid, but it would be exactly like avril, I would choose to have a barren, sterile existence that ends when I die,” Teigen tweeted Sunday afternoon.

We smell a catfight a brewin’! But what gave Teigen, whose Twitter bio reads “i like food a lot and i like modeling a little and i like my dog and boyfriend somewhere in between,” such a visceral reaction to Lavigne?

The model tweeted, “Watching an avril lavigne interview. The second most painful thing I have watched today after ‘the goods.’ ”

Looks like Teigen has a problem with both Avril and The Goods star Jeremy Piven!

The latter we understand. But listen up, those aren’t the only celebs Teigen is twicking (Twitter plus picking) on!

“Kind of feeling bad for gwyneth paltrow. Her fancy butt just can’t win. I do want her cookbook. For the recipes. No stories will be read.”

[From E! Online]

I doubt Avril will respond to her. She doesn’t seem to run her own Twitter account and lets her PR people take care of it. That’s a good strategy for someone like Avril. I could easily see her picking fights with people on Twitter.

Let’s consider this question, though. It’s the Mildred Pierce question – would you rather have a child that treated you with contempt or not have one at all? That’s assuming that Avril is a snot bag to everyone, though. She could be nice to people when they have something to offer her. Plus moms usually love their kids no matter what. That’s the Mildred Pierce curse. You realize your child has turned into an ungrateful person who takes your love and throws it back in your face, but you can’t stop offering it and getting your heart broken.

Avril is a singer too, just like the little wretch that Evan Rachel Wood played on Mildred Pierce. Did any of you watch that series on HBO? I felt like it had a non-ending, like there needed to be more of a conclusion to the relationship between Veda and Mildred. The part where we finally got to see Wood’s merkin was awesome though, and without revealing any spoilers that was just a riveting scene. (Here’s a link to a recap of parts 4 and 5 if you want to get a refresher.)

I’ve been dying to talk about that show, obviously, and it’s more interesting than this little twitter dramz between a model and a singer. From what little I know about Teigen, she may run the real risk of having a kid that’s a piece of work so it’s something she should consider. Like mother like daughter.

Photo credit: WENN.com

I have enjoyed several parts of Eva Longoria’s relationship with Eduardo Cruz, the younger brother of Penelope Cruz. One part of enjoyment comes from Eva’s blatant hypocrisy and mixed media messaging when talking about her divorce from Tony Parker. She’s trying to milk the divorce for all of the public sympathy that she can get, and she’s being really, really obvious about it. At the same time, she’s pushing her “new” relationship with Eduardo to any paparazzo who will snap their photo. Also: the relationship began long before the “official” line – there were photos of Eduardo at Eva house just weeks after Eva and Tony split. But I digress.

My absolute favorite part of Eva’s Eduardo drama is how Eva is trying to sidle up to Eduardo’s Oscar-winning, A-list sister, Penelope. The Enquirer had a story a few weeks ago about how Penelope hates Eva’s guts and thinks that Eva is a famewhoring B-lister who should get her cougar claws out of Penelope’s baby brother. And now, a new chapter. Us Weekly has yet another “Eva is moving on, she’s got a new man!” story, and this week’s twist is that Eva’s people are leaking the story that she and Penelope get along really, really well. Riiight.

Look who’s rebounding!

“I’m moving on,” Eva Longoria tells Hot Stuff. “Life is great!”

Indeed, a source says Eva has been “blossoming” with boyfriend of two months Eduardo Cruz.

“With Tony, she used to feel pressure to learn French and deal with his crazy mother. Now she’s in a family where she feels comfortable.”

Adding to her bliss? Longoria already has the approval of her beau’s bid sister.

“At first, Eva was unsure if Penelope would like her,” adds the source. “but now they embrace each other. She just met Penelope’s baby!”

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

Seriously, I’m not one for gratuitous catfights, but I would seriously pay good money to see Penelope take care of this famewhore once and for all. Penelope can throw down. “But Eva is scrappy,” you say. NO! Penelope is going to cut a bitch, especially now that Eva has taken to famewhoring the baby!!! It’s not just about Penelope and Eva now. Eva crossed a line.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.