The Daily Mail has some incredibly bitchy, rude comments that Susan Boyle’s idol, Elaine Paige, made about Susan’s rise to success and talent. Susan of course mentioned Elaine Page, known as the queen of musical theater in the UK, as the singer she emulated during her audition on Britain’s Got Talent. Paige was previously very supportive of Boyle. She made an surprise appearance on the Today Show last July to congratulate Boyle and even performed a duet with her for the British TV special “I Dreamed a Dream: The Susan Boyle Story.” The claws are out now, though, and Paige is incredibly dismissive of Boyle, her singing ability, and her massive rise to fame. Jealousy is not an attractive trait:

Miss Paige, who boasts 40 years in showbusiness and a £12million fortune, has haughtily dismissed the instant success of the Britain’s Got Talent runner-up as ‘a virus that swept the world’.

When asked if she was happy about what the 48-year-old Scottish spinster had achieved, Miss Paige replied: ‘I don’t particularly feel any pride for her – I’m sure she is proud of what she has done.’

Speaking at the South Bank Awards, she added: ‘It’s all about turning someone into an immediate celebrity at the expense of longevity and working hard and experience.

‘Susan Boyle is doing terribly well considering she literally came to the attention of the world overnight with the advent of YouTube.

‘She was like a virus really that spread across the world in a nanosecond.

‘She is a girl with no experience of anything to do with theatrics, the music business, or art in any way.

‘She has done terribly well to be a major star overnight with YouTube.’

But Miss Boyle’s popularity on the Internet has translated into three million album sales, making I Dreamed A Dream the fastest selling debut album for a female artist.

She also has a huge following in the U.S.

Asked if she thought her success would last, Miss Paige replied: ‘That’s a good question. She is a major star because of YouTube. Longevity is gained through knowledge, experience and effort so it will remain to be seen.

‘When I started, YouTube didn’t exist but even then with 15 years of experience prior to my success with Evita it was difficult, so I admire the way she handled her sudden success.

‘Britain’s Got Talent and The X Factor just take a bunch of people from real life who think they can sing and try and turn them into overnight “stars” with a couple of songs.

‘Ha ha. It’s not entertainment.’

[From The Daily Mail]

Paige has responded to these quotes, which she claims were taken out of context. The Daily Mail can really warp and twist people’s words, so that’s entirely possible. It doesn’t sound like she’s denying saying this at all, just that she’s saying it wasn’t as harsh as it seems. It sounds like backtracking to me. Here’s Paige’s response from her Facebook page. (Incidentally, her website launches her version of “I Dreamed a Dream.”)

“I was dismayed to read the remarks attributed to me today in the Daily Mail which were incomplete and misinterpreted.

I am a huge supporter of Susan Boyle and admire what she has achieved; she has handled the extraordinary situation of being catapulted to worldwide stardom with tremendous strength, charm and dignity and I thoroughly enjoyed working with her on the ITV special we recorded together only last month.

I have always said it’s very hard for someone to be fast-tracked to stardom without any prior experience – I know this as it happened to me when ‘Evita’ opened and I found it extremely difficult in the beginning; today, of course, it’s much harder with the phenomenon of the internet – Facebook, YouTube etc – it seems it only takes minutes for fame to spread around the world – and that’s why I used the word ‘virus’! I wasn’t referring to Susan herself; I was referring to the speed of her fame spreading as fast as a worldwide viral marketing campaign.”

[From Elaine Paige's Facebook]

Susan received a rumored $10 million advance for her CD, and she had the top selling music album on Amazon this entire holiday season. Her album is still number two on Amazon’s charts and has been on the charts for 150 days. She’s raking in the dough, and Paige might resent the fact that Boyle has earned more money in months than she has in years. This is a simple lady who doesn’t deserve to be trashed for her success. I understand that Boyle can sometimes be grumpy and a pain to deal with – she’s having some trouble coping with the pressure and demands of fame – but she has a beautiful singing voice and real talent. If Paige did say these things – taken out of context or not – t’s a shame that she would be so convinced of her own self worth that she can’t see the value in others.

In related news, Boyle received a shock when she returned to her modest home in Scotland and found a teenage intruder. She said she’s not going to move, though and that “I think he got more of a scare than I did because he ran off.”

Former “Cheers” star Kirstie Alley isn’t just fighting with her weight or the National Enquirer. She’s engaged in a weird, vicious Twitter war with “The View” host Joy Behar, whom she has nicknamed “Joy Bewhore.” Wow, it’s like 7th grade all over again, except the mean girls aren’t cheerleaders – they’re ugly, aging harpies with Internet access! Huffington Post explains:

In the wasteland of Kirstie Alley’s prolific Twitter activity lies a feud with Joy Behar, seemingly over the talk show host’s coverage of Tiger Woods on ‘The Joy Behar Show.’

“and WHY has Joy Behar turned into such a self righteous cooz head? OOOOooo that’s right…..FOREVER!!!,” Kirstie tweeted earlier this month. “CHEATING is between a husband and wife. Not TMZ and Joy Bewhore…God, I want to bash her in the vagina with her microphone.”

Kirstie’s followers let her know she sounded insane, to which Kirstie responded that Joy “already WENT after me several times.”

Joy managed to ignore Kirstie’s rant until Friday.

“Kirstie Alley calls me Joy Bewhore. Compliments! Compliments!” she tweeted.

This is not the first time Kirstie has gotten into it with a talk show host. She went after “Conan O’Bitch O’Brian” on Twitter in November after he poked fun at her weight.

Kirstie’s loopy tweeting has targeted others, including former Cheers costar Kelsey Grammer.

“@Kelsey_Grammer Kelsey..come over and make out with me…tell your wife it’s for old times sake..she’ll be cool with it,” she tweeted Monday night.

It comes as no surprise that Kirstie’s A&E weight loss reality show premieres this spring.

“Having fun watching my body melt away in a healthy fun way…this zone is the one I want to live in..THE GUILT FREE ZONE..ra ra aaa Roma Rom,” she tweeted Monday. “My new show starts to air in March on A&E..you can watch the fat melt away for yourself…lol…”

[From Huffington Post]

Did Kirstie attend the Tila Tequila school of self-promotion recently? You know, the “Bash another celebrity, followed with a shameless plug” tactic Tila loves so much. At this point, are there even people out there who remember who Kirstie Alley was – enough to market a show around her? Well, I guess if Danny Bonaduce and Scott Baio can have a show, Kirstie can, too. But I’m not looking forward to “watching the fat melt away.” That sounds kind of graphic for me. I mean, I can barely handle “Hoarders” as it is. I would, however, tune in to see Kirstie and Joy in a cage match. I happen to think they are both hideous, inside and out. But Joy’s from Brooklyn – I believe she’d administer quite the beatdown.

Kirstie Alley in Hollywood on January 14, 2010. Credit: Ben Dome, Matt Smith @ Pacific Coast News.

I just want to address this issue because I think it’s ridiculous that anyone even brought it up. Jennifer Aniston, who wore a gorgeous one-shoulder black dress with a thigh-high slit to the Golden Globes, has been accused of copying Angelina Jolie, who wore a pale peach-colored dress of a completely different cut, fabric and designer that also happened to have a thigh high slit this summer. US Weekly made this jaw-dropping claim in a story titled “Jennifer Aniston Steals Angelina Jolie’s Look,” as if the looks were even similar enough to make this comparison.

Then someone at The Huffington Post put together a side-by-side slideshow meant to show that Aniston’s cosy red carpet poses with Gerard Butler mirrored Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s show of togetherness at Cannes. There are similarities between the poses, but if you put together the red carpet photos of any two random starlets they would look like they were copying each other because there’s only so much you can do when you’re standing up and smiling for the cameras. With another person there, you can put your arm around them, look up at them, smile, laugh, etc.

Aniston really worked that dress and she doesn’t need to be compared to Angelina for the rest of her life. These two do have similar sense in fashion in that they both favor solid colors and classic lines. (Which in Angelina’s case sometimes means shapeless sacks.) They also have similar taste in men. Oh and Aniston and her co-star Gerard Butler are doing a “racy magazine spread” for W that will draw comparisons to Brad and Angelina’s 2005 “Domestic Bliss” portfolio. Whether Aniston and Butler will also head to a more permanent state of domesticity afterwards remains to be seen. In this case there’s no third party involved at least.

Here’s my favorite comment from the Huffington Post on this issue:

There are SO MANY many things about these pictures that are identical!
They both have dresses made of cloth.
They both have hair.
They are both alive.
They are not medical doctors.

This is truly amazing.

[From Halfwit on The Huffington Post]

Reports that long-battling mother and daughter Candy Spelling and Tori Spelling have buried the hatchet are indeed true. Tori confirmed it herself in an interview with E!Online. Candy will be spending time with Tori and husband Dean McDermott, along with their two children Liam and Stella, this Christmas. I wonder if Candy will be using one of her Christmas wrapping rooms for the occasion? I think it’s nice that Liam and Stella have access to their grandmother, but I still can’t help but wonder: how much of this is Tori truly wanting to reconcile with her mom, and how much is a quest for ratings for her reality show? And what about Candy, who has proven herself to be a verbally abusive bitch over the last year – doesn’t she stand to gain some positive PR through this?

Talk about your Christmas miracles.

Tori Spelling and her estranged mom, Candy, are talking again, and the “Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood” homemaker feels that the timing couldn’t be better.

“It’s just a blessing that it happened around the holidays,” she told E! News while perusing the holiday goodies at the eBay Mobile Boutique. “And it just makes me think, ‘Wow, it’s an amazing thing and it happened this year and it’s just the best gift we could get.’

“We’re together as a family, and that’s the most important thing. We’re very lucky.”

Not that her 18-month-old daughter, Stella, will believe it.

“Stella is talking up a storm,” Spelling said. “Her latest thing is, ‘I don’t believe this.’ She was eating her sandwich yesterday, and it came undone, and she looks at me and goes, ‘I can’t believe this.’

“I’m like, ‘Me either!’ ”

[From E!Online]

The cynic in me thinks this reconciliation is less of a “miracle” and more of a “sweeps week publicity stunt/Candy Spelling image rehabilitation exercise.” But hey, that’s just me. Time will tell if Candy turns out to be a better grandma than she was a mother. Something tells me that the second Grandma Candy suggests that little Stella needs a nosejob, it’s over – and rightfully so. But at the end of the day, families should be together at Christmas – as long as it’s in the privacy of their own home, without the glare of reality show cameras.

Michael Bay and Megan Fox just won’t shut up about their alleged feud, or how they’re not really fighting, or how they’re passive-aggressively taunting each other, or how Megan is just a little tiny woman being bullied by big bad men after she acted consistently unprofessional and disrespectful. So anyway, most people know the larger points of this story: Megan said Michael Bay was “like Hitler”, Megan got called out by a lot of people, including Transformers crew members, yadda yadda. A few months ago there was even a rumor floating around that Bay wanted to write Megan Fox out of the Transformers franchise and bring in some new hot girl. Michael has now given a new interview where he denies wanting to push Megan out of the franchise, and blames her stupidity and unprofessional behavior on her age.

As much as we love a vicious catfight, Movieline equally loves a peace accord (mainly because it opens the door for a good sucker-swat). So join us now live from the Victoria’s Secret fashion show as Michael Bay — feather-trimmed boob-for-boob the best lingerie-commercial director working on the planet today — offers an olive branch to Megan Fox, the onetime-chamois-girl-turned-superstar whose candid appraisal of the director included a comparison to Hitler. Bay’s not sweating it:

“I love her … It’s just, she’s young. Everyone’s got to give her a break, she only…23? It’s just hard. I’ve traveled around the world with her and she’s just like this world symbol now, you know?”

So he brushes her diatribes under the carpet? “Absolutely … She called me (after the Hitler comment) and goes, ‘It’s all bullsh—t, Mike.’ The press, they just like to prey, and stalk, and pounce and find a good little juicy thing. But she’s always wanted to do these crazy comments. That’s just her. She’s great.”

He also said, “She’s got a great part in Transformers 3,” and he said he’s currently working on the script. So Bay’s not planning on getting revenge by, say, killing her off? “No, no. no,” he said, dismissing it. “She gets enough of that already.”

No revenge for Fox, but rather a juicy, range-stretching part in Transformers 3 in which she’ll make her first screen appearance Turtle Waxing a Stealth Bomber with her whale tail peeking out. Congratulations, Megan!

[From Movieline]

Um… she’s 23 years old, not 13. She knows better. And if she really, truly does not know any better, than this is a teachable moment. And really, isn’t that setting the bar really low? “Oh, she’s 23 years old, she can’t be expected to know not to go around calling her director Hitler and Napoleon.” Trust me… I’ve worked since I was 16 years old. You pick up pretty fast what you should and should not say to and about your boss. That being said, CB is like Hitler. NOOOO!!!

Megan Fox appears in the New York Times outtakes, courtesy of Popoholic. Michael Bay on November 19, PicApp/Getty.

Sarah Palin’s interview on Oprah aired yesterday. Her autobiography, Going Rogue, is already number one on the Amazon sales list so it’s not like she needs the publicity. When asked about Levi Palin, the father of her daughter’s baby, Palin was sort-of gracious but she still got her digs in at Levi. It’s not like I blame her given some of the things he’s said about her to the press. Palin said that no matter what, Levi will always be the father of her grandchild. She said he’s involved in things that are “heartbreaking,” though and called his Playgirl gig “porn.” It sounds like someone has been checking out the Playgirl website. Palin also made it clear that Levi just hasn’t been there for his 10 month-old son, Tripp, lately:

For a blink and you’ll miss it moment, it seemed like Sarah Palin was going to refrain from comment when Oprah Winfrey brought up the subject of Levi Johnston during her interview that aired on Monday’s “The Oprah Winfrey Show.”

In response to Winfrey’s question “How do you feel about him today?” Palin said, “Because so much of the discussion with Levi has to do with his most beautiful baby boy Tripp, my grandson, and Tripp’s future, that I don’t think a national television show is the place to discuss some of the things that he’s doing and saying. And by the way, I don’t know if we call him Levi,” Palin said. “I hear he goes by the name Ricky Hollywood now. So if that’s the case, we don’t want to mess up his gig he’s got going.”

And the gig of which she speaks? “Kind of this aspiring — aspiring porn, some of the things that he’s doing. It’s kind of heartbreaking. … I call it porn. Yes. So, a bit heartbreaking to see the road that he is on right now.”
Interestingly, hours before the interview aired on the East Coast, Levi Johnston tweeted, “I will be showing one of the first pics … w/i a couple of HRS … B ready 4 them-I’LL only post them 4 a minute or so …” As of press time, the only additional post from Johnston was a declaration that @HeidiMontag was now following him on Twitter.

Johnston didn’t make any comment on his feed about the Palin interview. One point that would have opened the door to counterpoint if there was one to be made was Palin’s complex response to Winfrey about how often he’s seeing his son Tripp.

“He’s quite busy with his media tours, and he hasn’t seen the baby for a while, but we will let that be the discussion between Bristol and Levi as they work out their relationship, because Levi forever will be the father of this most beautiful baby, and I continue to hope for the best and to pray for Levi,” Palin said.

Note that the Twitter account quoted by MSNBC above, has been proven fake. Levi Johnston doesn’t have a Twitter account.

Playgirl spokesperson Daniel Nardicio released a statement that Levi won’t be showing the full monty in his upcoming Playgirl spread. In an interview with Star last month, Levi seemed to indicate that when it came to whether he would show wang he was leaning toward “no.” He said ” I’m going to decide that on the fly. I want to keep it classy.” Then his manager promised full frontal, and Levi agreed, saying “I just get naked. That’s what I do.” Now it seems Levi won’t be showing his goods though and we’re likely to just get some butt shots. Levi shouldn’t have been so shy. Nardicio told The Daily Beast “We wouldn’t turn away Levi if he had a small pen*s.”

Rocker Sting isn’t mincing words when it comes to his opinion of “X Factor” – the British version of “American Idol.” He says that the singers are all bland and derivative and blasts the show for promoting such empty music. I’ve only seen snippets of “X Factor,” but I would absolutely agree with Sting if he were talking about “American Idol.” To the best of my understanding there’s no significant difference between the two shows other than their judges (though Simon Cowell is on both), so Sting might as well be talking about “Idol.”

He’s usually the one meting out the criticism, but this time it’s Simon Cowell who’s on the receiving end of some particularly harsh words about his talent – from Sting. The rock star heaped criticism on Cowell’s British version of American Idol – The X Factor – describing the show as “appalling” and promoting bland, soulless music in an interview with the London Evening Standard.

“It’s a preposterous show, and you have judges who have no recognizable talent apart from self-promotion,” Sting, 58, said. “Basically I was looking at televised karaoke where they conform to stereotypes. It is a soap opera which has nothing to do with music.” One of those judges, of course, is Cowell, 50, who offered a riposte to Sting’s stings on Saturday’s live X Factor show.

“Talking about these contestants being a bunch of karaoke no-hopers … I thought it was pompous,” he said, before inviting Sting to come on the show as a mentor. On Sunday, Cowell followed up again on The Xtra Factor. “Someone has got a little bit grumpy,” he joked with his co-judges. “We’d like a Sting week.” But he later admitted: “He hasn’t called yet. We’re waiting!

Don’t hold your breath, Simon. In his interview, Sting made it clear he had no interest in setting foot on the X Factor stage. “I wouldn’t get on The X Factor because I don’t sound like anyone they’re after,” he said. “I sound like myself. I think they are basically aping pre-existing stereotypes of what singers should do and they’re not being themselves.”

[From People]

I was nodding along to all of this like a bobblehead doll. I agree with every word Sting’s said. “American Idol” has churned out some of the most generic, bland, soulless pop music ever created. They make the boy bands and bubblegum pop of the late nineties look innovative. It’s only once the singers start doing more on their own (often leaving American Idol’s management team, 19 Entertainment, behind – which has caused some controversies) that they break out and have their own sound. Carrie Underwood would be an exception, since they let her go country and she was more hands-on and in control of her music from the beginning.

It sucks for the singers because a lot of them clearly have talent. Some of the best music has come from the second, third, and fourth place choices who have gotten music contracts outside of “Idol,” and thus done well from the beginning. They’re not massively famous, but Elliott Yamin and Chris Daughtry both come to mind.

Sting’s basically just slamming “X-Factor” – which I don’t blame him for – without offering a solution. And he’s totally right, there’s no point in his going on the show because he doesn’t have a sound or style the show would aspire to. I think a decent solution would be to let the singers take more control over their music from the get-go. Sure they’re not industry veterans, but neither are a lot of singers their age – and that’s who usually dominates the chart. Give them some encouragement and guidance, but push them to form their own sound and style.

Or just be Justin Guarini.

Here’s Sting in London on November 4th, and Simon Cowell with “celebrity hugger” Tania McIntosh on November 11th. Images thanks to WENN.com .

The Associated Press was the first to get a hold of Sarah Palin’s upcoming autobiography, “Going Rogue,” and so far it seems that it’s mostly a book of complaints. There are complaints about money, complaints about the way the McCain camp treated Palin and her family, and lots of issues over who paid for what and how much between the two camps. And then of course there are the requisite complaints about the media. She goes on at length about her infamous interview with Katie Couric, claiming that Couric “badgered” her and didn’t include the parts of the interview where Palin came off well.

Palin also writes harshly of CBS anchor Katie Couric, whom she describes as “badgering” and biased. Palin’s series of interviews with Couric were widely regarded as disastrous, leaving the impression of an ill-informed candidate who was unsuited for the job.

In the months leading up to her July resignation as Alaska governor, her legal bills had mounted to more than $500,000, fueled mostly by what she called frivolous ethics complaints. What appeared to upset her most, though, was that about $50,000 of the legal bills was her share of the expenses for being vetted for the VP nod, Palin writes.

She said no one had ever informed her that she would have to personally take care of any expenses related to the selection process. Palin writes that when she asked officials at the Republican National Committee and what was left of the McCain campaign if they would help her financially, she was told the bills would have been paid if McCain had won, but since he lost, the bills were her responsibility.

Trevor Potter, general counsel for the McCain campaign, told the AP the campaign had never asked Palin to pay a legal bill. “To my knowledge, the campaign never billed Gov. Palin for any legal expenses related to her vetting and I am not aware of her ever asking the campaign to pay legal expenses that her own lawyers incurred for the vetting process.” Potter said that if Palin’s personal lawyer billed her for any work related to her vetting, “We are unaware of it. It was never raised with the campaign.”

[From the Huffington Post]

There are two especially interesting things about the book: first, there is no index whatsoever, leaving several commentators to joke that’s perhaps Sarah’s best revenge on people: if they want to see if they’re mentioned, they have to read the entire book.

Second is that she never once mentions Levi Johnston. Yet she obviously talks about daughter Bristol’s pregnancy. That must have been quite the dance, writing about all that without mentioning the baby’s father. Johnston and Palin have been involved in quite the epic feud over the last several months. Right after he broke up with Bristol, Levi said Palin – the abstinence only supporter – probably knew they were having sex. It’s no surprise she doesn’t want to talk about him. Yet in her upcoming interview with Oprah (airing on Monday) Palin says she would invite him to Thanksgiving dinner. She also says he’s a part of the family and she wants to invite him into the fold and take him under her wing and she can tell he needs that. The clip is short, but it’s safe to assume that Levi’s not interested.

“One final question about Levi,” Oprah asks in the first clip: “will he be invited to Thanksgiving dinner?”

Palin laughs. “You know, that’s a great question.” It’s also a question that Palin doesn’t seem to want to answer. “It’s lovely to think that he would ever even consider such a thing,” she says. “Because, of course, you want — he is a part of the family and you want to bring him in the fold and kind of under your wing. And he needs that, too, Oprah. I think he needs to know that he is loved and he has the most beautiful child and this can all work out for good. It really can.” She then segues into a mishmash of statements on how the Palins are “not really into the drama.”

Oprah presses on: “Does that mean yes he is coming or no he’s not?”

[From the Huffington Post]

I really doubt that’s true; it’s just the polite politician response to give. Palin goes so far as to say “Levi is love.” Johnston has made all sorts of accusations about Palin (including that she called her son Trig – who has Down’s Syndrome – “retarded”) basically calling her a bad mother and saying she has all sorts of deep, dark secrets. Which maybe she does, but I doubt Johnston is privy to them. In related news, it’s fun to watch Levi think he’s a big celebrity only to get shot down. He requested $3,000 to appear at a nightclub – they offered him a round of sodas instead.

Ever since Sex and the City became a cultural phenomenon (back around season 2, or roughly nine years ago), it’s been an open secret that Kim Cattrall and Sarah Jessica Parker don’t really care for each other. Despite some people wanting it to be some kind of petty catfight, I tend to think they simply aren’t all that friendly, but are able to maintain a professional, working relationship. The relationship has had its challenges of course – when SJP became a producer on the show, some said Kim resented the control SJP had. Some also claimed that Kim held out for the biggest paychecks for the SATC films. None of that may be true, or parts of it, or all of it. Still, the rumors persist, and Kim and SJP have had to address them.

Recently, in her Elle Magazine cover story, SJP defended her relationship with Kim once again, saying, “I don’t think anybody wants to believe that I love Kim. I adore her. I wouldn’t have done the movie without her. Didn’t and wouldn’t.” But sources are now telling In Touch Weekly that there’s still some snottiness going around – this time about how the two actresses are aging:

Although reports of feuding between Kim Cattrall, 53, and Sarah Jessica Parker, 44, were often denied, there was no mistaking in the first SATC movie that Kim’s character, Samantha, was imposed with a real attack on aging: Samantha celebrated her 50th birthday – she grew fat and even split with her hunky younger love interest.

The movie’s sequel looks no different: In one scene, an embarrassed Samantha shows up wearing the same outfit as teen queen Miley Cyrus.

Setsiders say the candid photos from the set prove there is a real age war erupting: SJP looks much older than her younger character, Carrie, and older than Samantha, so this attempt of not letting Samantha shine is proving the rumors have life.

Ironically, Kim has no desire to look like the younger Sarah Jessica. Samantha’s been known for her body, not her face, and she’s not afraid to show it!

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition, November 23, 2009]

Part of the reason I’ve always loved Kim (but not always her character Samantha) is because Kim seems like the most gifted physical comedienne of the group. The scripts for the television show and the films always have Kim doing a lot of physical comedy work (much more than the other actresses), and she always nails it brilliantly. If the physical comedy weren’t also so sexual, I think Kim would get a lot more credit as comedic actress. My point: I don’t think Kim minds the physical comedy aspect of the Samantha role, nor would she mind playing off the running gags that Samantha is, in fact, much older than the other girls. It’s how the character has always been written, and it’s one of Kim’s many strengthes as an actress. As for the whole “SJP looks older” thing – well… I hate to say it, but Kim just seems to be aging with more grace than SJP. Maybe it’s good genes, maybe she takes care of herself, whatever.

Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall playing nice on the set of ‘Sex and the City 2’ in New York on September 8, 2009. Credit: Fame.

Michael Lohan is continuing his quest to bring daughter Lindsay down. And really, at this point, that’s all I can call it: a quest. Not to help her, not to save her, but to bring her down to rock bottom. Which is very different than Lindsay hitting rock bottom on her own. Any father- even a really, really stupid one – who actually wanted to help his drowning daughter would do just about anything other than what Michael’s doing. Michael is supposedly saving his daughter by releasing all sorts of mortifyingly embarrassing (and mortifyingly personal) phone calls he’s taped with and about Lindsay, including her drugged out plea for help.

Now Michael’s given (probably sold) a tape of a phone call he recorded with Lindsay’s assistant, Jenni Muro. The call was made sometime in 2008 from Muro in Brooklyn to Michael in Long Island. Muro references having to relocate to New York for Lindsay’s “Ugly Betty” guest shoot. Lohan’s character appeared now and again over the course of two seasons, so it’s not possible to say exactly when it probably happened, but in late October of 2008 it was reported that the cast and crew were sick of dealing with her and were limiting her episodes, so it was probably before then. So the conversation is at least a year old.

In another explosive recorded audio tape obtained exclusively by RadarOnline.com, Lindsay Lohan’s assistant Jenni Muro reveals her fear that Lindsay was killing herself.

The taped phone call is between Jenni Muro and Michael Lohan. In it, Jenni angrily tells Michael her fears about Lindsay’s fragile state and expresses her opinion about the destructiveness of Lindsay’s then-romantic relationship with DJ Samantha Ronson.

“I am trying to save your daughter’s life every day,” Jenni tells Michael on the tape.

Showing the depths of her fear that Lindsay will harm herself, Jenni tells Michael that she wants to stop working for Lindsay “because I don’t want it on my watch either.”

Michael has publicly voiced his concerns for Lindsay’s life, and says he is trying to get her to admit that she has a prescription drug problem and get help before it is too late.

In the 2008 call placed from Brooklyn to Michael Lohan’s Long Island home, Muro also voices her disgust that she was forced to relocate to New York for Lindsay’s role on Ugly Betty.

Muro says: “I get a 5% commission on this entire TV show and it’s sick and disgusting and I’m here and I give up my boyfriend and my dog and my parents and my new place in LA and everything so that your daughter doesn’t kill herself, ok?”

Jenni also tells Michael that Lindsay’s relationship with Samantha Ronson was “unhealthy.” She said that Lindsay’s priorities were only Samantha, not work and not her family. She says Samantha was her “absolute addiction.”

[From Radar]

All we can hear in the actual recording is Muro’s voice. There are muffled parts, and there is absolutely not a peep from Michael Lohan. At several points she’s clearly responding to something he’s said, so either Michael or Radar deleted his parts of the conversation. I find that very suspicious and strange. They did the same thing with a phone call between Michael and ex-wife Dina last week. It was all Dina talking about Lindsay and trying to get her into rehab, and none of Michael’s words. So no one can use anything else he says against him. That says a lot right there about who Michael’s really looking out for.

If you listen to the conversation, it’s clear that Muro is not randomly bitching and complaining, she’s defending herself against Michael’s accusations that she’s not doing enough for Lindsay (or for him), and that she’s trying to keep Michael from Lindsay. Over and over again Muro has to state that Lindsay has told her clearly that she does not want to see Michael, she does not want to see Dina, etc. Muro also says that the only person she wants to see is Samantha. It’s clear that Lindsay doesn’t love Samantha, she’s obsessed with her. Muro also tells Michael she thinks that’s because Lindsay’s never known love before, and now she can’t get enough of it. It’s a total dig at both Lohan parents, because she doesn’t say Lindsay’s never been in love before, but that she’s never known love before.

Muro never once defends Lindsay. She makes it clear that Lindsay is her boss and she is doing what she’s told and communicating her messages for her. She also makes it really clear that she loathes talking to and being harassed by Michael Lohan. I don’t know this woman but I feel sorry for her – she sounds immensely frustrated. It appears that Jenni is still Lohan’s assistant – Radar doesn’t refer to her as “former” and there’s nothing I can find about her being fired. Well, except for the fact that when Lohan’s last assistant quit, she stole a car and chased the girl’s mom through the streets of L.A., landing in jail and rehab. There’s no way she gets paid enough to deal with just Lindsay alone, let alone the rest of the Lohans. It does seem like – though she’s doing Lindsay’s bidding, which is her job – she’s very smart and with-it. Which is ultimately good for Lindsay.

When is Michael going to learn that he can’t embarrass Lindsay into rehab? All he’s doing is making sure he never sees his daughter again. This is seriously the kind of shi*t you never forgive.

Here’s Lindsay, predictably looking worse than ever, leaving Dominic’s Restaurant in Beverly Hills last night. Images thanks to WENN.com .