I have a love-hate relationship with Demi Moore. More hate than love, but occasionally I do think Demi is right on some things. But this is one of the many times where I really hate her. The story: Kim Kardashian twit-pic’d yet another photo of herself, this time with some friends. Kim captioned the photo: “Big pimpin w @SerenajWilliams @LaLaVazquez @Kelly_Rowland Love u girls!” Yes, Kim said that she was “big pimpin” with some friends. So Demi Moore climbed up Kim’s ass about it, sending a flurry of tweets about “pimpin” and slavery. Here’s the screen-capped tweets from Demi Moore’s account and a summary by HuffPo:

Demi Moore does not think the word “pimpin” is cool, despite Jay-Z singing about it, and Kim Kardashian found out by being called out on Twitter.

Sunday night Kim tweeted a photo of herself and three celebrity friends (seen below) at a Miami party with the message, “Big pimpin w @SerenajWilliams @LaLaVazquez @Kelly_Rowland Love u girls!”

Demi responded, “Are you using the word “pimpin” as in pimping?”, to which Kardashian replied: “Doesn’t everyone? LOL… Nothing wrong with dancing to Big Pimpin’ by Jay Z in the club! Having a girls night out, gotta love that song!”

Not so fast! Demi, who campaigns against child slavery with husband Ashton Kutcher, wrote, “A pimp is nothing more than a slave owner!.. if we want to end slavery we need to stop glorifying the “pimp” culture.. I was just making a point about how we have used a word and desensitized the real meaning.”

An hour later she wrote, “Clearly I stirred up a s**t storm.”

In the end Kim, who at first defended the word, tweeted, “Good point!I agree! It was just a song not literal.”

[From Huffington Post]

I never thought I would say this, but Team Kardashian. For goodness sake, it’s not like Kim was being terribly original, she was quoting a f-cking Jay-Z song, she was hanging out with her girls, and she so obviously did not mean anything about hookers or pimps or slavery or anything like that. So Demi needs to go on her meds or something. And as LaineyGossip points out, Demi and Ashton are friends with P. Diddy, who does more to denigrate women and encourage a “pimpin” culture than any f-cking Kardashian. Does Demi need a new definition of “pimpin” to make this sh-t real? Here you go, Demi. My definition of pimpin: Rumer’s Hollywood career. How much did you and Bruce have to pimp her out to get her a career?

Demi’s tweets screen-capped from her Twitter.

When I first read this story, I thought it was about Hugh Grant attacking someone with cake, and I thought to myself, “How fey, how English, how Hugh!” But it turns out, Hugh was the one who attacked by a rogue slice of chocolate cake. Not so rogue, as it was Hugh’s former PR man Matthew Freud who did the cake throwing/smearing. Hugh and Matthew have apparently been fighting for years, and when Hugh called Matthew some name (my guess: wanker, tosser, or c-cksucker), Freud attacked Hugh with a slice of cake. Then nothing happened for a few minutes, and then Hugh hauled off and punched Matthew. Wow! I didn’t know Hugh was so ballsy. But I should expected it after the baked bean incident, and that time he kicked a paparazzo in the nads:

When two grown men want to settle their differences, it sometimes comes to blows. Matthew Freud apparently prefers a big slice of chocolate of cake. Which is how Hugh Grant ended up with chocolate and crumbs smeared all over his impeccable white shirt at a society party.

The disagreement didn’t stop there. Grant, 49, is alleged to have responded by punching Freud’s cheek, leaving the PR guru wearing sunglasses the next day. But Freud, in turn, got his own revenge, somehow tracking down a picture of Grant’s stained shirt and emailing it to friends. Grant ended up changing out of his shirt and was given another one to wear by nightclub staff.

The extraordinary spat happened at socialite Heather Kerzner’s 41st birthday party at Annabel’s nightclub in London on Wednesday night. The wife of casino billionaire Sol Kerzner was holding a joint celebration with Topshop owner Sir Philip Green, Sir Michael Caine, shoe designer Patrick Cox and Tracey Emin’s boyfriend Scott Douglas.

According to a fellow guest, the flareup took place after a female guest asked Grant if he would like to meet Freud. In fact, the two men have known each other for more than 20 years. Freud, 46, represented Grant way back in the days when he found stardom in Four Weddings and a Funeral and during the scandal over his visit to a prostitute in the U.S. in 1995. But they appear to have fallen out in the intervening years.

Grant apparently replied that he had no desire to speak to Freud and allegedly used an expletive to describe him. Freud, who was standing nearby and heard the alleged insult, then smeared chocolate cake down Grant’s shirt.

‘I saw a lot of white shirt and before I could stop myself it was all brown,’ he told friends afterwards.

There was a brief lull before Grant allegedly threw a punch.

In the subsequent melee, a glass of wine was also thrown – which ended up over London nightclub owner Johnny Gold. As guests watched the pair in astonishment, Freud, who had attended the party with wife Elisabeth Murdoch, decided to make a dignified exit.

Grant, though, was not quite ready to call it a night. He changed into a clean shirt supplied by the nightclub and chatted to guests, including his former girlfriend Elizabeth Hurley. He told Mrs Kerzner he hoped his disagreement had not ruined her evening. One guest said: ‘He was a total gentleman, a 21st century David Niven.’ Ever the PR man though, Freud was not to be outdone. In the aftermath, he secured a photograph of Grant’s stained shirt and then emailed it to friends.

Referring to Miss Hurley’s famous appearance in a Versace ‘safety pin’ dress at the Four Weddings premiere, he added the message: ‘That dress becomes that shirt.’

Freud told friends: ‘I’m a pacifist, I only throw cakes, he’s a scrapper. There were no heroes last night.’

According to a friend of the PR man, the pair fell out some years ago over a male friend of Freud’s.

‘Matthew knew Grant when all his friends called him “Hughie”, no one calls Hugh that these days,’ the friend said.

Freud represented Grant up until his relationship with heiress Jemima Khan ended. ‘Then came the bust-up over the friend and that was the end of their relationship.’

[From The Daily Mail]

I would like to think that the two men were fighting over the lovely lass known as Jemima Khan, but I doubt it. Hugh and Jemima dated off and on for years, but I have no idea about any connection she would have to Freud. Most likely the fight was just about boy sh-t. Which basically means that instead of rubbing cake all over their glistening, writhing bodies, they should have just whipped out their junk and compared sizes like real men.

Hugh Grant in Abu Dhabi on March 10, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Here is the video from Part 1 of Bill O’Reilly’s two-part interview with Jon Stewart. This is all over the media today, and most commentators and pundits are acting as if this was going to be some kind of epic showdown, like Stewart’s interview (re: beat down) with CNBC’s Jim Cramer last year. Now, it’s no secret that I think Jon Stewart is absolutely lovely. Many people even agree with me – last year, Stewart was voted “America’s Most Trusted Newsman”. During the overly-hyped Daily Show “debate” between Stewart and CNBC’s Jim Cramer, Stewart pretty much killed Cramer and lifted his leg on Cramer’s corpse. So how, perchance, would Stewart perform when he was no longer on his home turf? When Stewart left The Daily Show studio and went over to Fox News for a one-on-one with Bill O’Reilly?

In truth, this wasn’t the first time Stewart and O’Reilly have tangled. They’ve been guests on each other’s shows before, to mixed results. And while I think O’Reilly is a falafel-rubbing blowhard, next to Glen Beck, even O’Reilly looks sane and reasonable, and he played nice with Stewart. I also thing this was a factor too – Stewart and O’Reilly have never tangled when there was a Democrat in the White House. O’Reilly ended up being the most quotable of the event, claiming that Jon was used to criticizing “evil Republicans” and calling The Daily Show’s viewers “stoned slackers who love Obama”. Jon played it straight for the most part, although he did fall back on his “I’m just a comedian who talks about the news” shtick.

Here’s Part 2, when Bill and Jon really start to get into it:

So who won? Gawker has a blow-by-blow of points scored, and they declare Stewart the winner with this quote of Stewart‘s: “Here’s what Fox has done, through their cyclonic perpetual emotional machine that is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week: They have taken reasonable concerns about this president and this economy and turned it into full-fledged panic attack about the next coming of Chairman Mao.” Okay, that is a good line. Bless Stewart’s heart. I love him.

Star Magazine’s cover story last week was Brad and Angelina’s alleged “fight to end all fights”. The gist of the cover story was that the police were called to Brad’s Los Feliz property two weekends ago because they were fighting so loudly over their Thanksgiving plans – Brad wanted to go to Missouri, while Angelina wanted to go to Asia. An “insider” told Star that Brad “told her she was being selfish. She was hyperventilating. She threw a chair across the room! It missed Brad, but he was really shaken up. Angelina’s a screamer and she gets physical. She’ll get in Brad’s face and shove him.” And I guess some neighbor of Brangelina employee heard the ruckus and called the cops, so the story goes.

Anyway, Us Weekly refutes Star’s story by actually getting quotes from a named LAPD police officer. The real story about the police visit was that the burglar alarm was activated somehow, and found to be a false alarm:

Trouble at the Brangelina compound?

In the early afternoon of Nov. 15, the Sunday before Thanksgiving, police arrived to respond to an alarm at the Los Angeles manse shared by Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and their six kids. Star magazine claims that the famous couple were having “their worst fight ever” and that neighbors have called in the past to complain about the ruckus made from their spectacular fights.

The real story? False alarm!

LAPD Sgt. Kyle Kirkman tells Usmagazine.com that a burglary alarm sounded at the Jolie-Pitt place at 12:54 p.m. Two officers arrived and confirmed that the alarm system was tripped accidentally, and were back on the road within 15 minutes.

“We went out and checked to make sure it’s a false alarm, and if it’s false, we leave. That’s basic protocol. That one was a real basic false alarm,” Kirkman tells Us.

So what caused the alarm to go off? “Lots of times what happens is something with the key pad — if they punch the wrong number, it automatically goes into a panic alarm, and we respond to that too,” Kirkman explains. (Maybe Maddox and Shiloh were goofing off with the keypad?)

Sadly, the officers didn’t get an audience with Jolie or Pitt — someone else answered the door.

As for stories of their knock-down drag-out fights, the Jolie-Pitts have been visibly content in Hollywood this week. On Monday, the couple was affectionate at George Clooney’s Up in the Air party; on Thursday, Jolie and Pitt took their eldest, Maddox, to cheer on pals Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon at Thursday’s premiere of Invictus.

[From Us Weekly]

It’s unimaginable to me to have six children in a home without the entire property being decimated, so it wouldn’t surprise me if the kids were playing around and somehow the alarm was activated. My theory is that Zahara was trying to sneak out to meet with her advisors, readying her plot for global domination.

In other Brangelina news, The Daily Mail is reporting that Brad and Angelina have been denied in their attempts to buy Chateau Miraval and/or the surrounding properties, so they will likely move out of the property next year. This contradicts some reports I’ve read before – that the original plan was some kind of complicated, lease-to-own scheme, where Brad and Angelina were legal “renters” of the property, but that their ownership was forthcoming. I’m not sure if the Mail is right, but I wouldn’t be shocked. French property law seems odd and convoluted to me.

Finally, in one last piece of news, the Enquirer (and other sources) got their hands on a new excerpt from Ian Halperin’s book. Halperin alleges, in this new excerpt, that Angelina and Jennifer met face to face “after Brad and Jen‘s 2006 divorce” (except they were divorced in 2005, but what’s a little fact-checking for a hack like Halperin?). Allegedly, Jen and Angie met at an “empty restaurant” and “Jen was upset and shouted at Angelina. There was an altercation, it got pretty heated . . . It reduced Jen to tears.” I think Jennifer just pretended Angelina was the ocean. Also, Halperin claims that before she met Brad, Angelina “said she wanted to go after either Bill Clinton or Johnny Depp.” I have no comment on the ever-asinine Depp rumors, but I will say this about the Bill Clinton thing: wouldn’t they be hot together? Can you imagine? I would totally buy it, too, if someone legit ever came out with a story about Bubba and Angelina. Granted, he usually doesn’t like women that skinny, but Bubba’s not that discerning. I would love to see that sex tape.

Michael Bay and Megan Fox just won’t shut up about their alleged feud, or how they’re not really fighting, or how they’re passive-aggressively taunting each other, or how Megan is just a little tiny woman being bullied by big bad men after she acted consistently unprofessional and disrespectful. So anyway, most people know the larger points of this story: Megan said Michael Bay was “like Hitler”, Megan got called out by a lot of people, including Transformers crew members, yadda yadda. A few months ago there was even a rumor floating around that Bay wanted to write Megan Fox out of the Transformers franchise and bring in some new hot girl. Michael has now given a new interview where he denies wanting to push Megan out of the franchise, and blames her stupidity and unprofessional behavior on her age.

As much as we love a vicious catfight, Movieline equally loves a peace accord (mainly because it opens the door for a good sucker-swat). So join us now live from the Victoria’s Secret fashion show as Michael Bay — feather-trimmed boob-for-boob the best lingerie-commercial director working on the planet today — offers an olive branch to Megan Fox, the onetime-chamois-girl-turned-superstar whose candid appraisal of the director included a comparison to Hitler. Bay’s not sweating it:

“I love her … It’s just, she’s young. Everyone’s got to give her a break, she only…23? It’s just hard. I’ve traveled around the world with her and she’s just like this world symbol now, you know?”

So he brushes her diatribes under the carpet? “Absolutely … She called me (after the Hitler comment) and goes, ‘It’s all bullsh—t, Mike.’ The press, they just like to prey, and stalk, and pounce and find a good little juicy thing. But she’s always wanted to do these crazy comments. That’s just her. She’s great.”

He also said, “She’s got a great part in Transformers 3,” and he said he’s currently working on the script. So Bay’s not planning on getting revenge by, say, killing her off? “No, no. no,” he said, dismissing it. “She gets enough of that already.”

No revenge for Fox, but rather a juicy, range-stretching part in Transformers 3 in which she’ll make her first screen appearance Turtle Waxing a Stealth Bomber with her whale tail peeking out. Congratulations, Megan!

[From Movieline]

Um… she’s 23 years old, not 13. She knows better. And if she really, truly does not know any better, than this is a teachable moment. And really, isn’t that setting the bar really low? “Oh, she’s 23 years old, she can’t be expected to know not to go around calling her director Hitler and Napoleon.” Trust me… I’ve worked since I was 16 years old. You pick up pretty fast what you should and should not say to and about your boss. That being said, CB is like Hitler. NOOOO!!!

Megan Fox appears in the New York Times outtakes, courtesy of Popoholic. Michael Bay on November 19, PicApp/Getty.

How much would you pay to see a cage fight between Martha Stewart and Rachel Ray? Like, all of our combined checking accounts, right? Because Martha would take that bitch down. Martha was interviewed for Nightline this week (it hasn’t been aired yet), and Martha dishes on her daytime chef/lifestyle queen competition. Martha sniffs that Rachel’s “new” cookbook is full of all of Rachel’s old recipes, and “that’s not good enough” for Martha. But Martha admits that Rachel isn’t doing any false advertising, claiming that Rachel is “more of an entertainer … with her bubbly personality, than she is a teacher, like me. That’s not what she’s professing to be.” Us Weekly got in touch with Rachel, and she’s smart enough not contradict the queen of all:

Martha Stewart says Rachael Ray can’t hold a candle to her in the kitchen.

In her first television interview since serving five months in prison in 2004 for lying to investigators about a well-timed stock trade, Stewart, 68, talks to ABC News’ Nightline about rebuilding her brand — and slams Ray, 41, one of her TV competitors.

“Well, to me, she professed that she could — cannot bake,” Stewart says of Ray in the interview, airing Thursday. “She — just did a new cookbook which is just a re-edit of a lot of her old recipes. She — and that’s not good enough for me.”

When it comes to writing a book, Stewart says she want to publish something that “is a unique and lasting thing. Something that will really fulfill a need in someone’s library.” Ray, she says, “is different.”

Stewart says Ray is “more of an entertainer … with her bubbly personality, than she is a teacher, like me. That’s not what she’s professing to be.”

Do Stewart’s remarks make Ray mad?

“Why would it make me mad?” Ray asks. “Her skill set is far beyond mine. That’s simply the reality of it.”

Ray adds that “that doesn’t mean that what I do isn’t important too… I don’t consider it needling. I really just think she’s being honest. She does have a better skill set than I do when it comes to producing a beautiful, perfect, high-quality meal.” Says Ray, “I’d rather eat Martha’s than mine, too.”

[From Us Weekly]

This is why Rachel Ray pisses me off. Rachel is basically admitting that her deal is doing everything half-assed, from lifestyle stuff to food. Which is fine – there are a lot of busy people out there, and not everyone has time to make Martha Stewart-quality food or crafts. But what I hate is the smaller point Martha is making – that Rachel is profiting (big time) from this half-assed sh-t. That Rachel is considered some kind of foodie, or that she’s even fit to be mentioned in the same breath as Martha pisses me off, but that Rachel is so successful at being this cheap, budget, half-assed version is asinine. Rachel should be ashamed of herself if she put out a “new” cookbook that had all of the old half-assed recipes as her other cookbooks. Disgusting. Team Martha forever.

Martha Stewart on November 5, 2009 (with her french bulldogs Sharkey and Francesca, I threw in a picture of the puppies). Header photo of Martha is her at a Halloween benefit gala, not doing anything half-assed, on October 30, 2009. Rachel Ray pictured on April 2, 2009. Credit for all: WENN.

What’s the best way to cap off an evening with a big party thrown in honor of your new hair appliance? Well if you’re Paris Hilton, it’s with loud drunken fighting and a few calls to the cops. Naturally.

Paris had a big shindig at the Thompson Hotel in Los Angeles, all as part of her over-the-top promotion for her new combination flat iron/curling iron/brush, the Celebrity Styler. Yes, we’re excited about it too. As is fitting only Paris, the whole night was about her. Everything was pink. She debuted her new commercials. And thank goodness, she didn’t let little sister Nicky’s fender bender steal any of her thunder.

Paris Hilton has taken over the rooftop of the Thompson Hotel tonight…literally. In true Hilton style, the roof is decked out in pink, from the lighting to the bubbly, and the entire wall of the building is projecting commercials for her latest venture (and the reason for the party): the Celebrity Styler, a curling iron/brush/flatiron.

… At 7:36, the guest of honor arrives with boy-toy Doug Reinhardt in tow. The couple takes a few quick photos before Doug bows out for P’s solo shots. Then it’s time for pics with her parents. Kathy [Hilton] is loving the cameras—like mother, like daughter—until a reporter informs her that daughter Nicky was in a minor fender bender…

…Doug, clad in a lavender shirt picked out by Paris, says wedding bells aren’t ringing just yet. Despite rumors, the two aren’t engaged, but he assures me it’s definitely looking “long term.” Then I ask about rumors that Paris may be jealous of her former friend Kim Kardashian. “Just look at her,” he says, gesturing toward his hot pink girlfriend. “She’s not jealous of anyone.”

Nicky arrives unharmed and sashays around the pool. Guests grub on lobster tacos, spicy tuna rolls and steak and chicken skewers as Paris takes over the mic to thank guests for coming and to debut her new commercials. There’s no table dancing or PDA sessions tonight for the former party girl. She calls it an early night, and all partygoers get gift bags with the Styler and brush. Score!

[From E! News]

So how do Paris and Doug cap off such a lovely evening? One of their epic fights. I love how Doug is always talking about how serious and long term they are (despite a reasonably long breakup a while ago), and yet this isn’t their first police-worthy argument.

Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt got into an epic fight early this morning … so much so the LAPD responded to a call — “Drunk people arguing” — this, according to law enforcement sources. It happened a few hours ago in the Hollywood Hills. An eyewitness tells us he saw Paris in her driveway and Doug getting in his car, when Paris began screaming, “Don’t go, don’t go!”

The eyewitness tells us Doug got out of the car and the lovebirds began “shoving each other.” The last the eyewitness saw Paris and Doug go back up the driveway. According to law enforcement, cops spoke to Paris and left.

[From TMZ]

I love it. “Don’t go, don’t go!… I wanna keep screaming and shoving you!” What morons. Paris is getting extremely desperate. Though she’s always been reported to be rude and self-centered and really only negative adjectives, I can’t remember any stories of her having police show up because of domestic fights. That seems to be unique to Paris and Doug. And he’s a total do-nothing nobody. Why is she so desperate to stay with the guy? Because he lets her dress him up like one of her toy poodles, that’s why. Paris is hard to have any empathy for, but she should find someone else. There are desperate guys with low standards all over the country; I’m sure she could find a relationship that’s a little less toxic.

Here’s Paris with Doug and her family at her party last night. Images thanks to WENN.com .

Sometimes, I’m not quite sure what to think of Ashton Kutcher. There are days when he seems like a major-league a-hole, and yet there are other days when he seems like a really decent guy. I’m not sure where this story falls, but I will give Ashton credit for stepping up and being chivalrous, even if he made a scene. Here was the situation: Ashton and Demi (and their “date” Jennifer Aniston) all participated in the “24 Hour Plays” on Broadway Monday night. The event was a success, and Demi, Ashton and Jennifer were all enjoying the afterparty. Until a dude started talking smack about Demi, apparently making some rude remarks about her being a cougar (or “puma”). Ashton got in the guy’s face and “a massive verbal fight then ensued”. Here’s more:

Ashton Kutcher was all smiles in NYC on Monday night following his successful Broadway debut in which he made the audience roar with laughter while playing the boyfriend of a hilariously neurotic Eva Mendes in Montblanc’s 9th Annual “24 Hour Plays.”

However that smile was wiped away about half-an-hour into the after-party at Crest Lounge’s Opera Ballroom.

According to an eyewitness, Kutcher’s co-star and wife Demi Moore was mocked by another party guest, sending her 31-year-old husband into an angry rage.

“Demi and Jennifer Aniston were happily sitting together in the VIP when this guy starting really obviously making fun of Demi and things like her relationship with a younger man,” an insider said. “It went on for quite a while. Ashton heard it and approached him. At first he thought the guy wasn’t serious and was like ‘what the?’ He then realized he was serious. Ashton lost it.”

We’re told a massive verbal fight then ensued between Ashton and the guest, as Demi, 47, looked very embarrassed over the whole situation.

“It got pretty heated, nobody knew what to do,” added the source.

The Hollywood duo stormed out via the back entrance along with friend Jen Aniston. Reps for Kutcher and Moore did not respond for comment.

[From Fox News]

Well… at least it didn’t get physical? That’s the best I’ve got. If it’s just two dudes screaming at each other, it’s not some huge deal. This guy who was making fun of Demi sounds like a douche, and he probably didn’t figure Ashton would have the stones to stand up to him. That being said, whenever I’m at a bar or a party and I see two guys screaming at each other, I always get embarrassed for them. I always think, “Drunken a-holes, much?” Maybe it would have been classier to have words with the guy and just walk away the bigger man. But I’m not judging! I’m sure Demi got turned on seeing Ashton defend her honor.

Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore and Jennifer Aniston are shown on the red carpet for the “9th Annual 24 Hour Plays on Broadway” afterparty in New York on November 9, 2009. Credit: WENN. Additional photos by Getty/PicApp.

In a battle between two desperate, trashy, budget, famewh-re hussies, who would you put your money on, Shanna Moakler or Khloe Kardashian? I’m thinking Khloe. Just because she’s… bigger, shall we say? Shanna looks scrappy and mean, but Khloe would probably overwhelm her with brute force. I bring this up because it looks like there’s a C-list war brewing. Apparently, Shanna referred to Khloe as a “donkey”. And Khloe responded with something that sounded a lot like “shut up you stupid bitch I don’t even care wah wah”. Anyway, now Shanna wants us to know that she’s “sorry” for the donkey comment. She also wants us to know that the C-list “Battle of Oxygen Thieves” has been brewing for a while… who knew?

Shanna Moakler has put away the cat claws.

During a recent appearance on The Wendy Williams Show, Moakler, 34, called Khloe Kardashian, 25, a “donkey.”

Kardashian responded via Twitter: “I have no idea who this girl is but I guess she is talking about me. Talk on honey… I can care less LOL”.

When contacted by Usmagazine.com, Moakler expressed regret. “I feel really bad. I shouldn’t have said it,” she tells Us. “It was just an off-the-cuff statement.”

Moalker said she “was being gossipy, but it’s not a big secret that the Kardashians and I don’t really get along. I don’t care.”

She added that she “wasn’t there to talk about them. I was there to talk about me being officially back as co-executive director of the Miss California Pageant, hosting the pageant this year and my new makeup line.”

[From Us Weekly]

Now, here’s the thing: I hate defending Khloe, but I do it on occasion. I can’t help it, I feel bad for her. She doesn’t seem like a good person or anything, but I just think people should make fun of her for the things she does, the things she says, and her general personality. I don’t like when people make fun of her looks, probably because I don’t find her as grotesque as some do. Sure, she’s not pretty in the conventional sense. But just because she’s a big girl and she’s not God’s gift, that doesn’t make her a “donkey.” Ugh, I hate defending her.

Here’s Shanna Moakler – not looking at all donkey-esque – at the launch of Smoak Cosmetic Line at Cafe Was in Hollywood, California on October 13, 2009, credit: WENN. And here’s Khloe Kardashian, the anti-donkey, at the ‘Kardashian Charity Knock Out’ in California on November 3, 2009. Credit: Rachel Worth / WENN.com.

Here’s my confession: I’ve watched this clip about five times, and every time I thought “Real Housewife of Atlanta” Nene Leakes was screaming “TOXIC PARROT” as Michael Lohan. It wasn’t until I stopped and read some of the summaries of this incident that I realized that Nene is actually screaming “toxic parent”. Watch it and see – it really does sound like she’s saying “toxic parrot”. I thought it kind of worked too. Like, it made me think, “Is Michael Lohan a toxic parrot?” My answer was “Yes, because he just ‘parrots’ the same old bullsh-t.” But, I was wrong. It’s “toxic parent”. My bad.

Anyway, Nene was part of a panel for The Insider yesterday. They were interviewing Michael Lohan, who seems to be going on a “I’m gonna kidnap Lindsay and then I’ll think of sumthin’” tour. Michael got a verbal beat down from Nene, who is pretty much the best “housewife” to star on any of the Real Housewives” shows. I love Nene. Nene brings it. Nene is a motherf-ckin’ star. Nene is so cool, even Anderson Cooper adores her.

When Nene and Michael met over the satellite link up, all hell broke loose. I’m not sure what started it, but Nene was there to end it. She began yelling over Michael Lohan, screaming “You are a toxic parent!” and “You are a manipulator! I believe you are just trying to make money off of Lindsay, you’re always in the press, talking negative.” Michael is all “I’ve never made a penny off of Lindsay…” but Nene isn’t finished. Another round of “You are a toxic parent!” Nene also says “You do not have to do this to her publicly, and you know that!”

After that, Michael got pissy and verbally abusive, like the nasty baby he is (shocking). Michael told Nene “Do something worthwhile and promote Nutri-System!” Nene: “Do not make me come after you.” More yelling about Michael being a toxic parent and a sellout, and then Michael ends with: “Shut your mouth. Why don’t you give your chair a break and move your fat ass out of that chair.” Then the pissy baby takes off his mic and leaves. It’s all pretty awesome… sort of. Team Nene.

Here’s NeNe with Jeff Lewis outside Katsuya restaurant in Hollywood on September 30th. Images thanks to Fame Pictures .