Britney Spears was supposed to host the Billboard music awards in Vegas with Paris Hilton next week, and their people were in negotiations for it, but Britney pulled out with no explanation.

Speculation is rampant that Britney has soured on Paris, but the more likely explanation is that someone took her aside and told her to get her shit together, put on some panties, and stay at home with her kids for a couple of nights. Making a scheduled public appearance with Paris will only remind everyone of the three separate sets of punane-baring pictures of Britney that are floating around on the web. (If you don’t believe me that she did it three different times, just look at the clothes she’s wearing in each picture series linked above.)

After nearly a week of clubbing, partying and shopping in LA with new BFF, Paris Hilton, Us has learned exclusively that Britney Spears has abruptly pulled out of co-hosting with the heiress on the Fox Billboard Music Awards, scheduled to air live on December 4.

“She pulled out,” confirms a source with Fox. “She didn’t give a reason.”

The source tells Us that Hilton is still a possible host despite losing Spears as a sidekick. Other sources confirm that as recent as this morning, agents for both Hilton and Spears were hashing out the final terms of the contract, but at 5pm today, Spears had backed out of negotiations.

“We really don’t know the reason. But we’re disappointed she backed out.” says a Fox source.

Brad Garrett, the big guy from “Everybody Loves Raymond” is the potential replacement for Paris and Britney, so it’s not like it’s a prestigious hosting gig. Paris may also host solo.

Why are all these lesser music awards using inexperienced hosts like Lindsay and Paris? Maybe no one watches them, but a 20-something celebrity known for her skill in partying and shopping is not a good choice to host an awards show.

Britney was seen leaving a restaurant on Monday night with a fur coat on and a wine glass in her hand before she got in her car and had trouble finding the ignition. She wore a yellow knit cap to hide her shedding extensions and had glasses on in a vain attempt to look studious. She was photographed at some other point that night with an orange tank top on and no bra.

Meanwhile Paris, Britney and Lohan are no longer the three slutsketeers after Paris and Lohan are said to have fought it out at Hyde Monday night. Paris is said to have told Lohan “you’re a fucking coked-out whore; don’t ever say you’re my friend again!” with Lohan leaving all upset.

Oh boo hoo. Go buy some more sex toys and get photographed again Lohan. That coochie-showing trick is completely old. Or maybe you could visit a library or a book store. That might be a good way to get some attention.

Britney actually stayed home last night, Tuesday, as none of the paparazzi websites have pictures of her out. Or maybe they were all too freaking tired to keep up with her.

Here are photos of Paris, Britney and Lindsay on Monday. Lindsay is seen with a pair of $1,000 diamond-studded handcuffs since the help is so unreliable at keeping her men by her side. Pictures from Splash News Online.

Rachel Zoe issued a response to the news that Nicole Richie fired her as her stylist, basically saying that they’re no longer friends. She kind of couched it in a lot of flowery PR-speak, so it’s hard to tell, but there are some mild disses in there:

Rachel issued the following statement to TMZ: “There has been a lot of speculation as to the cause of my parting with client Nicole Richie. The tabloid reports have no merit. After trying to be a good friend to Nicole, we made a mutual decision to sever our working relationship. Changes are inevitable in any business relationship. I am very fortunate to have such a wonderful life, I have been married for 10 years and have been a stylist for more than 15 years and am lucky to work with such a diverse group of women of all shapes and sizes that inspire me everyday. I have nothing but love for Nicole and wish her only health and happiness.”

Nicole wasn’t having that, and she posted the following “blind item” on her myspace, basically saying that Zoe has an eating disorder and has tried to make it seem as if Nicole is the one with the problem, not her:

BLIND ITEM:
What 35 year old raisin face whispers her order of 3 peices of asparagus for dinner at Chateau everynight, and hides her deathly disorder by pointing the finger at me, and used her last paycheck I wrote her to pay for a publisist instead of a nutritionist?
HINT: Her nickname is lettucecup…

[via ONTD]

I really like the way she wrote that “whispers her order” and “deathly disorder.” She spelled publicist wrong, though. She would make a decent blogger.

Rumor had it that Zoe was dealing drugs to her “girls” and that she encourages them to be stick-thin so that they’ll fit into the tiny samples she gets from designers.

Whatever transpired, Nicole wants everyone to know that she’s over it and that Zoe is the one with an eating disorder, not her. Get to a size six, Nicole, and maybe we’ll believe you.

Nicole is looking good, but maybe she does need some fashion advice, because this Beetlejuice outfit is just not doing it. At least she’s keeping it under wraps though, which is more than I can say for Paris’ other “friends.”

Pictures from HauteGossip.

Sacha Baron Cohen was going out for a drink with Hugh Laurie, the actor who plays House on the popular medical drama. The two were headed out together in NY after appearing on Saturday Night Live. Cohen got into his annoying Kazakh character Borat and starting accosting a man on the street. The New Yorker wasn’t having any of that and starting punching Cohen in the face repeatedly! Dr. House came to the rescue and pushed the guy away:

BORAT star Sacha Baron Cohen was beaten up by a passer-by after he tried to play a prank as his alter ego.

He approached the man and said: “I like your clothings. Are nice! Please may I buying? I want have sex with it.”

But the bystander didn’t see the joke. He took one look at Cohen and punched him in the face.

The funnyman — known for his Borat catchphrase “Jagshemash!” — yelled for help but was slugged again and again.

He was rescued by actor pal Hugh Laurie who had been on his way to a New York bar with Cohen.

Laurie rushed to help and pushed the man away as Cohen struggled to his feet. A pal of Cohen said: “Sacha couldn’t resist playing the fool as Borat, but picked on the wrong person.

“I guess this guy thought he was being attacked by someone unstable and lashed out. Sacha is very lucky he didn’t get a much worse beating.”

The incident took place after Laurie and Cohen appeared on the US TV show Saturday Night Live. The Brit comics were on their way to a late dinner when Laurie suggested they visit a bar in Manhattan.

Laurie, 47, told friends he feared Cohen was going to get badly beaten up. Luckily, 35-year-old Cohen did not receive any lasting scars.

While “Borat: Cultural Learnings” is still tops at the box office, not everyone is happy with the film. Frat boys are suing for their appearance in the film, saying that filmmakers plied them with alcohol and that they were told the film would only be shown overseas. The small impoverished Romanian village of Glod is also considering suing producers. Locals say they were barely paid for their part in the film, and were told it was a documentary. They are also angered by their portrayal as backwards yokels, and say that animals were dragged into their homes and silly props were used that do not reflect their way of life.

Shanna Moakler must not read the celebrity gossip on a daily basis. She probably thinks that Paris is still with her ex, Travis Barker, when the word is that she’s already moved on to Andy Roddick. Paris claims that Shanna attacked her at club Hyde last night, that she started swearing at her and hauled off and punched her in the face. Paris went to the LA cops, with whom she should be on a first name basis by now, and filed a complaint.

Shanna also filed a complaint against Paris’ ex, Stavros Niarchos, who she claimed threw a drink at her and pushed her down the stairs!

Now Paris was caught making up a story back in July of last year that she was attacked by a woman in a London nightclub. She’s being sued for $10 million by the woman she falsely accused, Zeta Graff. Paris arranged to have the story leaked to the tabloids by sending an e-mail to her publicist, and then hilariously claimed in a deposition for the case that “whatever I write in email, it doesn’t mean anything. It is just words I write.”

Paris also had a restraining order against her briefly by party planner Brian Quintana, who she called a “dirty Mexican” and reportedly harassed after Quintana is said to have told Paris’ boyfriend at the time, Stavros Niarchos III, to dump her to get back with Mary-Kate Olsen. Quintana said he would drop the suit if Paris would show up at the opening of one of his clubs.

Now, Paris claims that Shanna Moakler attacked her and of course that’s possible, but when she’s personally known for attacking other people, and for falsely accusing people of attacking her, who are you going to believe?

Nicky Hilton’s boyfriend, “Entourage” star Kevin Connolly, smacked Brandon Davis after he insulted him at one of Paris’ parties. When Davis freaked out after getting slapped, Connolly punched him twice in the face to get him to shut up.

The Post goes on to say that Lohan and her gang crashed the party too, but not much must have transpired or they would have given more details.

Davis is crying out for some kind of intervention. He was reportedly staying at Paris’ place after his folks cut him off, and some recent candids of him cozying up to her make it seem like they’re friends with benefits. Connolly must be annoyed that he’s hanging out with his girl too. Usually I don’t condone violence, but Davis had it coming.

Here are Brandon, Paris and Nicky outside of Barneys on 9/2. [via] Tell me that Paris and Brandon look like they’re just friends.

Lindsay Lohan made the moves on at least two of Paris’ tainted exes. In mid-may she was said to be sleeping with Paris Latsis, who got back with Paris Hilton afterwards and then wisely broke up with her again. Then a month later Paris and Lindsay had a screaming match at a club, with Paris yelling at Lindsay for sleeping with Stavros Niarchos, saying “I can’t believe you and Stavros! You are ridiculous!”

Now Paris is said to have openly flirted with Lindsay’s long-term (by her standards) lover, Harry Morton. Star Magazine suggests that they left a club “within moments” of each other afterwards, but if they met somewhere at a hotel you know it would have been reported. It sounds like Paris is just trying for payback.

Although flirting with someone else’s boyfriend seems like junior high school antics, Paris did hack into Lindsay’s cellphone just a short while ago, showing that she’s capable of high school level revenge. Paris actually never graduated from high school, and had to settle for a GED.

Here is Paris at the Max Azaria fashion show with Nicky on 9/16, and Lindsay out in Santa Monica with her new wrist cast on 9/17.

Pictures from Linds-Lo.com and Parisfan.org

Lindsay Lohan showed up late to her mom Dina’s birthday dinner and was loudly overheard telling her to “go to hell” before she stormed out of the restaurant. The two were fighting and screaming at each other, and after Lindsay was gone and the cake came out her mother burst into tears:

(Reported by Page Six on Saturday, September 16, 2006. Permalink no longer available.)

The NY Post also suggests that Lohan’s mom is a coke addict. They say she went to the bathroom five times and was sniffling a lot. In true style, Lindsay was seen out partying with friends later that night. While she supposedly looked like she had been crying at one point, she still managed to go to a Calvin Klein party and to club Bungalow 8.

The next night Lindsay met with one of her all-too-freuqent mishaps. She “slipped” and fell at a Fashion Week party, fracturing her wrist in two places. She is considering suing Milk Studios, where the accident happened:

It seems like it would be foolish for Lohan to sue the venue for slipping. She’s known for her clumsiness and it might come out that she was drunk and/or on drugs at the event. She needed stitches in her shin back in February after slipping on a flight of stairs and breaking a teacup. She was at British pop singer Ryan Adams’ house at the time and claimed that she was wet and slippery after taking a shower.

Here’s Lohan putting on a happy face after the huge blowout with her mom at the Calvin Klein party on Thursday. Her fake tan needs some work.

Thanks to Linds-Lo.com for these pictures.

Diddy made all-girl group Danity Kane famous in “Making the Band.” Now they’re rumored to be on the verge of breaking up over allegations that Diddy is more than just a mentor to gorgeous member Aubrey:

Diddy is known for his carousing, so this wouldn’t be surprising. If it’s true, though, that’s so cold of him to cheat on his girlfriend when she’s pregnant! Could this be the end of Danity Kane? Maybe Diddy should rebrand himself “Diddle” in the UK (note: commentor Dupababy came up with this) because he’s always diddling with the ladies.

There’s a lot you can say about Tom Cruise, but he does seem like a geniunely nice guy, albeit completely batshit crazy and often lying through his teeth. He has wacked out beliefs and is so deep in the closet there are hanger marks on his face (I stole that from commetor Clarimonde on a Robbie Williams post), but people praise his down-to-earth demeanor as he engages them on a level only a cult member can manage. It’s called “love bombing” and is a common tactic of cults to get people to feel so accepted and warmly welcomed that they’re sucked into the black hole of endless re-education and seizure of all their worldly assets.

Cruise is pretty good at that “love bombing” and he turned on the charm on behalf of his flailing career to apologize to Brooke Shields for criticizing her last year for using antidepressants:

How coincidental that Cruise apologized to Shields right after he was dropped from Paramount for his “recent conduct.” While less than amazing box-office performance is more likely to blame, it is said that the wife of Paramount head Sumner Redstone was completely enraged by Cruise’s comments blasting Shields for using drugs to overcome postpartum depression and told her husband that Cruise would lose his female fan base.

In case you forgot what Cruise said at the time, he made an impassioned argument on The Today Show that there was “no such thing as a chemical imbalance,” and that he knew the history of drug development and psychiatry while asserting that Matt Lauer was uninformed for defending the fact that antidepressants work.

Update: here’s the video of Brooke telling the story to Jay Leno in her interview on Friday.

Jennifer Lopez is supposedly pregnant, and this time it sounds like more than a rumor. Former American Idol star Jesse McCartney, who is said to be a friend of Lopez and her husband, Marc Anthony, let the news slip during a radio station interview:

People think J.Lo is pregnant every few months, so this doesn’t seem substantial until she’s showing or it’s officially confirmed. There haven’t been many candids of J.Lo recently, but that only means she hasn’t been hitting the paparazzi spots or going to high profile events. She is due to attend the Toronto Film Festival next month, so we’ll have to scope out the pictures to see if she has a bump.

Meanwhile a British rag claims that J.Lo didn’t quit “Dallas” - she was fired because John Travolta can’t stand her:

If this is true, and I doubt it, Travolta might be so vehemently against J.Lo because she rejected his freaky cult religion, Scientology. Remember all those pictures of J.Lo out shopping with Leah Remini? She undoubtedly tried to convert her to Scientology, and I bet Catholic J.Lo wasn’t having it.

Besides, it was said that J.Lo quit “Dallas” because the production was sinking fast and she thought Travolta wasn’t up to par as a leading man. He may have heard that she didn’t want to star in with him, and leaked the news that it was his decision, not hers. It’s classic.

Here’s an ad for Lopez’ new “Luxe” fragrance line. Some horny art director made an unappreciated designer spend a lot of time getting her to look just naked enough to make allergy-aggravating cheap perfume look sexy. I wonder if her areolas are really this big. Hey - big nipples are a sign of pregnancy, or heartbreakingly ineffective ongoing fertility treatment.

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