A few months ago Pamela Anderson moved into a trailer park, supposedly because her new home was being renovated. Prior to that she had a huge garage sale – though theoretically the proceeds were to go to PETA. Pam’s trailer park is a fancy one, as those things go, but she’s still living there. And now it’s starting to look like there might be another reason – Courtney Love says Pamela doesn’t even have a credit card – the implication being that she’s got some serious money issues.

PAMELA Anderson has looked a little down and out lately — maybe for good reason. Courtney Love told us, “Pam Anderson doesn’t even have a credit card. And she lives in Paradise Cove — which is in Malibu, but it’s a trailer park in Malibu.” A quick check on the Internet reveals that a double-wide trailer in the park costs around $325,000 — and on the high side, homes are around $1.2 million. The blond bombshell’s manager didn’t return our e-mails.

[From Page Six]

Hmmm. It’s obviously innuendo, supposition, and circumstantial evidence… still, it would explain some things. Like Pam, a famous vegan, agreeing to host the opening of a New York City steakhouse/strip club combo venue. And her inability to afford pants, time and time again. And I could stick about four other pantless examples in here if I wanted. Joking aside, the trailer park Pam lives in is easily one of the fanciest in the world. It’s safe to assume she’s taken care of, thanks to Baywatch residual checks.

It sounds to me like Courtney Love is much more of a frenemy than a friend. I looked it up to make sure they even are friends, and they definitely were – though to what extent they still are is debatable. According to the New York Times, Courtney Love ruined Pam’s Comedy Central Roast a few years ago. She was clearly on something (or in her case, a variety of somethings), embarrassed the living daylights out of herself, and the whole thing was basically about her instead of Pam. Anderson certainly doesn’t seem uptight, but I doubt they’re close anymore. And Courtney’s comment – to Page Six, of all things – was bitchy as hell. Whether it’s accurate or not (and I don’t think it is), her motivation for saying it can only be mean-spirited. I doubt she was saying Pam doesn’t have a credit card because she’s so fiscally restrained.

Here’s Pamela taking her sons and a friend pick up some boogie boards in Malibu on April 18th. Images thanks to INF Photo.

Gwyneth “The Goop” Paltrow is so perfect that she only has perfect friends. Well, with one exception – fattie chef Mario Batali. At least that appears to be the way Gwyneth sees him. I think Batali does a good job of pulling off his look; somehow it works for him. But according to Page Six, Gwyneth gave Mario a free membership to her massively overprice gym. Not just for his health, and not because she’s worried about him. But because she only has one fat friend, and it’s Mario.

OVER the years, Mario “Fanta Pants” Batali’s weight has ballooned along with his ego. It’s gotten so bad, insiders said, that his pal Gwyneth Paltrow gave him a free membership to the pricey gym that she and her fitness friend Tracy Anderson are opening in TriBeCa this summer, saving him the $4,500 membership fee and monthly bills. An insider said, “Mario is the only fat friend she has, and [she] wants him to change.” A rep for Paltrow didn’t return e-mails.

[From Page Six]

If Gwyneth wants someone to change, they better hop to it! Heaven forbid anyone not measure up to The Goop’s standards. It really bugs me that it seems to have nothing to do with Mario’s health, but more that Gwyneth has a fat friend. The horror! And not that she’d give a crap, but pushing health and fitness on someone doesn’t work. They’ll make a change when and if they’re ready. All stuff like this does is alienate a friend and make them feel self-conscious. For three birthdays in a row all my dad gave me was running shoes, even though I do not run, nor have I ever expressed anything but massive disdain for sports. Do you think it got me out on the track every morning? All it made me want to do was kick him in the ear.

Nonetheless, Mario and Gwyneth still seem to be friends, as he’s stuck up for her during her whole “frenemy” debacle – joking that he is in fact said frenemy.

Gwyneth Paltrow wasn’t referring to Winona Ryder when she recently wrote about a “frenemy” who was once “hell-bent” on taking her down. She was referring to Mario Batali, jokes the chef, her Spain … On the Road Again cohost. At the NYC Food Bank’s Can-Do Awards on Tuesday, Batali kidded about rumors that Ryder and Paltrow’s friendship soured after Paltrow went after Ryder’s part in 1998′s Shakespeare in Love.

“Well, I wanted the part as well, too, I must point out,” Batali joked with Us. “And I said some very nasty things about both those girls in the bathroom one day. And thank God there were no blogs yet at that time because no one was able to write it down!” Kidding aside, he said he thought it was interesting that bloggers began speculating that Paltrow was referring to Ryder.

“People who used to have to try to write a letter to get it published by the editor now can write it and have it immediately published and have it become actual fact in no time at all,” he said. But Paltrow can’t complain. “If you’re going to be famous and make $5 million a movie, you gotta take the lumps,” he said.

[From Us Weekly]

How unfortunate it is that even we commoners get to voice our opinions without massive editorial restraint! I can see why Mario and Gwyneth are friends; they both have the same attitude. Initially I was trying to stick up for Mario against The Goop’s bitchy, passive aggressive gesture, but now he’s on his own. It’s not surprising that either of these two would have some frenemies.

Good luck at the gym Mario. Maybe if you lift weights diligently for a few months, you’ll get strong enough to twist that stick out of The Goop’s ass.

Here’s Mario Batali at the Brooklyn Academy of Music 2008 Spring Gala last April. Header with Gwyneth at the “Spain… on the Road Again” Television Series Launch in September. Images thanks to WENN.com and PR Photos.com.

Paris Hilton is on tour with her boyfriend Benji Madden’s band Good Charlotte, but the fiance of his twin brother and band mate is stuck home with their newborn baby. That may be her choice, but Star Magazine says it’s not and that Nicole Richie is super pissed that frenemy Paris gets to tag along while she’s left holding the baby:

Sources confirm to Star that Nicole was devastated when Joel informed her she would not be coming on the tour. She previously hit the road with the band, even while heavily pregnant, so she assumed this time was no different. She had even begun interviewing nannies to help her with daughter Harlow.

“Nicole begged Joel to let her tag along, but he refused to put the baby through that much traveling,” says a friend of hers. “He thinks a rock tour is no place for a newborn and has put his foot down.”

One insider says Nicole tried to make her case for coming by insisting she was nervous about being away from Joel, 29, for so long and that she was worried about caring for Harlow without his help.

But another source says Nicole, 26, is really just upset that Paris Hilton – who has been dating Joel’s twin brother, Benji, since February – is crashing the tour. And Nicole knows that wherever Paris, 27, goes, there’s usually trouble. “Nicole is livid!” says another source. “The thought of Paris on the road influencing Joel makes her skin crawl. Nicole doesn’t trust Paris as far as she can throw her.

[From Star Magazine, print edition, April 7, 2008]

You can see this being the case even if Star Magazine’s sources all happen to be staffers. It’s got to be hard to be apart from your partner right after you have a baby, and going on tour with a nanny seems preferable to staying home. It’s possible that Benji and Joel didn’t really talk about the fact that Paris was tagging along and that Joel decided that Nicole should stay home before he realized that Paris would be stealing his band’s thunder.

When my husband and I were watching “Wetten, Das?” with Paris on Saturday, he asked “isn’t it bad publicity for Good Charlotte to be associated with Paris Hilton? Like doesn’t that demean their integrity as a band?” It kind of does. They may not be sleeping with tons of groupies but we know at least one of them thinks with his dick.

Paris Hilton is shown clutching her chin after she took a fall earlier in the day on the cobblestones in Prague. The story is that “they were mobbed by fans and photographers, calling Paris to fall to the ground.” Thanks to WENN for these photos.

Lindsay Lohan tried to offer an olive branch to Paris Hilton, leaving her nice phone messages in her 55 year-old heavy smoker’s voice. Lohan said she wanted to make peace with Paris after their longstanding feud over swapping Greek shipping heirs back and forth, re-infecting each other with various strains of communicable diseases.

Instead of ignoring Lohan or maybe sending her a text or voice message back saying all that was stagnant water under the bridge, Paris did the mature thing – and had her assistant leave fart sound messages on Lindsay’s voice mail:

Lindsay Lohan tried to make peace with Paris, leaving voice mails explaining that she wanted to call a truce.

But Paris refused to call back. Finally, she responded in her usually classy way.

“She had her assistant call Lindsay and leave fart sounds on her voice mail,” a close source told The Enquirer.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, February 25, 2008]

Paris Hilton is such a nice, caring, responsible person. She even takes in countless animals and gives them a loving home outside the chi chi pet shops where they were confined in misery before she swooped them up for a life of luxury as her living accessories.

After Paris told Ellen DeGeneres on her show on Monday that she had a whopping 17 dogs, the Los Angeles Department of Animal Services paid a visit to her home. It is illegal to have more than three dogs in the city of Los Angeles without a breeder’s permit. There was no one at Paris’ place and it was under construction. The animals weren’t there either, though, they have their own nannies and pet whisperers, which seems like a much better existence than having to wait like last year’s Balenciaga bag for Paris to pick you to accompany her to an event.

Header image is an older one of Paris and Lindsay. The image below of Paris dressed like her dog is from July of last year.

Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton don’t have the best friendship track record. They filmed one season of their terrible faux reality show The Simple Life separately, but were later shown fake making-up in a staged scene that convinced no one. Some people theorized that they remained friends throughout their supposed estrangement and that it was all for publicity, but they don’t seem savvy enough to me to have pulled it off for so long.

Paris announced Christina Aguilera’s pregnancy for her by calling her “the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world” in what was thought to be a deliberate dig at Richie. These two have supposedly made up since, though, as Paris was listed as one of the official hosts of Nicole Richie’s baby shower in November. Their reconciliation may have been only temporary as usual, because Star Magazine reports that Paris was mighty pissed to learn that Nicole donated her expensive baby gift to the charity she co-founded with her boyfriend, Joel Madden:

When… Paris Hilton gave BFF Nicole Richie and her fiancé, Joel Madden, an expensive crib from L.A.’s Petit Treacute;sor, she was offended to learn that the expectant parents gave it away to charity! “Paris sent them a crib for their baby. It was very expensive, and she was mad when she heard they gave it away,” a source tells Star. “Paris told Nicole, ‘This isn’t something you give away to charity!’” But Nicole already has furniture for the baby’s nursery that her dad, Lionel, bought for her.

[From Star Magazine, print edition, January 21, 2008]

Somehow Nicole Richie has managed to come off as a caring and responsible mother throughout her pregnancy. She said she didn’t even allow people to smoke around her and was reportedly planning a natural, medication-free childbirth while many other celebrities schedule medically unnecessary c-sections.

Nicole and Joel founded a charity to help needy mothers, and seem to have really put their work into it during the last stages of Nicole’s pregnancy. The real test will be if Nicole donates the money she receives for the baby pictures to charity too. Although her dad is loaded she doesn’t have a real career to speak of, though, and I guess you can’t blame her if she decides to keep the cash. As it is, she offloaded Paris’ gift to charity and that’s good enough for me.

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are shown outside Forte restaurant on 11/27/07. I’m also including another picture of Paris to show that she dressed like a hooker that day. Thanks to Splash News.

Nicole Richie has postponed her planned wedding to Joel Madden amid concerns that she is taking on too much before the birth of their baby. Joel’s twin brother Benji Monk is about to marry his fiance, Sophie Monk, and word is that Joel wanted to have the weddings close together. Nicole put a kibosh on those plans due to stress.

Nicole successfully completed her whopping 82 minutes in jail for her second DUI and should be relatively stress-free apart from the fact that she’s due to give birth in January. Still, she didn’t want to risk it by throwing a big wedding now. I bet she just didn’t want to look “fat” in her wedding dress:

25 year-old [Nicole Richie] is refusing to have any sort of ceremony until after she gives birth to their baby in January 2008. “Everything is getting too stressful for Nicole,” says a friend of the celebutante. “Having a baby is the most important thing right now, and she knows it. She’s emotionally and physically exhausted, and the thought of organizing a wedding it too overwhelming.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, September 17, 2007]

The article also calls Nicole the “Yoko Ono” to her fiance’s band, Good Charlotte. She is said to be annoyed at the the groupies that surround her man and his bandmates and to nag him constantly about it. They quote a source who says “When Nicole is around the rest of the guys and their girlfriends, she is hard to deal with and not nice at all. This causes tension in the band that was never there before.”

Meanwhile there is a blurb this this week’s Enquirer that may explain why Paris Hilton was so quick to call Christina Aguilera “the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world.” They say that Nicole was deliberately cutting Paris off the guest list at her now-canned nuptuals because she was acting like a bitch as usual:

Paris Hilton [asked] “Is Joel Madden really the baby-daddy?” Clucked an insider: “Nicole says it’s the most insulting thing she’s ever heard – but even Paris has the nerve to ask the question!” How does Nicole respond? “With a salty eff-you.. then she cross them [Paris] off the list for her wedding!”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Mike Walker's column, September 17, 2007]

It’s a shame that bitchy back-biters like Nicole and Paris can’t be friends. They have so much in common.

I’m glad Nicole cancelled her wedding until after the birth of her baby. That way, we’ll be spared a lot of fluff news about her until January when she’s due.

Here is Nicole going to a fashion show at Bryant Park on 9/8. Thanks to Splash News for these pictures.

Mischa Barton and Paris Hilton had a very public spat last year, with Mischa saying that Paris “seems to hate everyone around her age who is more successful. Silly bitch – she does steal people’s boyfriends.” Paris retorted saying she “didn’t even know” Mischa and that “she is the one who is trying to stir up a rivalry. I have never said a word about her… but she seems to be spending a lot of time thinking about me.”

In return, Paris’ mouthpiece, Elliot Mintz said that “a lot of celebrities are using Paris’ name so they can get some ink and Mischa seems to be one of them.”

Mischa then dismissed the stealing boyfriends remark, said it was a joke and said “Paris isn’t my rival. I met her one or two times and she’s making out there’s this big rivalry between us and there so isn’t.” [Details from People.com]

Mischa’s then-boyfriend brought it home by saying “Has Paris nothing better to do? At least Misch has a job – she’s a respected actress.”

So these two haven’t had much love for each other since February, 2006 when it all started. Paris wants to mend fences with Mischa now and recently reached out to her, bitching about how all her other girlfriends suck, but Mischa wasn’t having it:

Paris Hilton – playing her “New Paris” role to the hilt – phoned ex-BFF Mischa Barton, cooing about mending their prickly relationship – and gushing that of all her frenemies, she missed the ex-”O.C.” star the most! Said a source: “Paris then went into a rant about the mess Nichole Richie’s made of her life, how Britney Spears snubbed her – and that Lindsay Lohan’s white trash and destined to be dead soon.” Soured by Paris’s poison tongue, Mischa blew off an invite for a just-us-girlies-get-together… and hung up abruptly. Just days later… you guess it!… Mischa heard Paris was slamming her as “a jealous witch!” Mee-Ow!

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Mike Walker's column, September 10, 2007]

Of all the young Hollywood crowd, Mischa seems to have her life most together, and that’s smart of her not to fall for Paris’ bullshit. Maybe she should have put up with Paris for a little while though if only to get some much-needed fashion advice. The poor girl is gorgeous but she looks like total shit most of the time due to her poor outfit choices. For everything you can say about Paris, she looks well put together and works it. Being a good person and looking good require completely different skillsets.

Paris Hilton is shown on 9/1 at the Play For Good Foundation Gala in Mallorca, Spain. Mischa Barton is shown on 8/6 at the Paper Magazine party for Rihanna in NY. Thanks to PRPhotos.

Rapper “The Game” has grown tired of his on-again-off-again fued with 50 Cent, and has chosen soccer star David Beckham as his next opponent. No, seriously. The Game (real name Jaceyon Taylor), has said he would happily “kick David Beckham’s ass,” after hearing the announcement that Becks was coming to his neck of the woods – sorry, hood – to play soccer for the LA Galaxy.

“I’d kick David Beckham’s ass on any given day,” the Game said when asked about Beckham. “I’d just pick the ball up and kick the shit out of the stadium, game over.”

While David may have to look into some karate lessons, his wife Victoria has fallen out with gal-pal Liz Hurley – so much that it looks like she won’t be attending Liz Hurley’s wedding ceremony in March.

A source told the Sun:’ Victoria found out that Liz had been saying some pretty unpleasant things about her behind her back. People told her how Liz was making nasty comments about her looks and her weight to others on fashion shoots.’

‘She also was saying really personal things about Victoria and the way she conducts herself.’

‘Victoria was furious and incredibly hurt. She was tempted to have it out with her but thought it best to rise above it all. She decided the best thing to do was just not to speak to her.’

Good thing Mrs. B has her new Hollywood mates Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise to lean on, as it’s possible the Beckham’s wedding invitations might be “lost” in the mail.

Britney has been uninvited from the prestigious Vienna Opera Ball because Paris Hilton is the guest of honor. Wealthy Austrian businessman Richard Lugner hires a celebrity as his guest to the ball each year for publicity reasons, and this year he’s squiring squinty Paris. Last year Carmen Electra was his paid date, and she stupidly thought she was getting paid for sex with the old guy, who also brings his wife along to the event, but she still went anyway. Other ball guests of Lugner have included Pamela Anderson, Ivana Trump, and Andie MacDowell.

Now Britney has had her invitation rescinded for fear of a confrontation with Paris, with whom she’s had a falling out:

Britney Spears won’t be going to a fabulous European ball because her former best friend Paris Hilton will be there.

The partying heiress is the guest of wealthy industrialist Richard Lugner and his socialite wife Christina who in the past have invited high profile celebs in the hopes of modernizing the very traditional dance. Originally, Hilton was going with Spears. There are rumors that Hilton is receiving $1 million for attending.

“She is a very good advertisement for the Opera Ball,” Richard Lugner explained. Regarding why Spears wouldn’t be there as well, Christina offered: “They unfortunately do not get along anymore.”

It’s not like Britney would show up anyway. I bet they’re uninviting her to get more press for the event, since it doesn’t seem likely that she would willingly sit through an opera. This is the girl who says Shania Twain and Prince are her favorite music artists, but doesn’t know that “Nothing Compares 2 U” was originally written by Prince.

Britney’s rep has adamantly denied that she’s pregnant again as In Touch is reporting, saying it’s much ado about peanut butter and flab.

Last night on David Letterman, Dave brought up the issue of stars without their panties and reminded Madonna that she gave him a pair of her panties once and he said he still has them. Madonna said “maybe you could send them to Britney.”

She said she’s “cut off from a lot of these stories” since she lives in England and apparently doesn’t watch TV, read a newspaper or use the Internet. She said she came to NY and the first thing she heard “was about everyone not wearing their underpants.”

And here’s a clip from Madonna’s famous 1996 appearance on Letterman, she says the f word 13 times and it’s not censored so it’s NSFW. She may diss Britney now, but she was just as bad in her own way. She’s smoking a cigar and accuses Dave of being obsessed with her:

Madonna recently said that she and Britney “just drifted apart” and said she never saw her again after their famous kiss at the VMAs, which made it sound like a one night stand. There’s speculation that Britney’s very public diss of Madonna’s Kaballah cult has more to do with their lapsed friendship than Britney’s fall from grace. It looks to me like Madonna is just bringing up Britney’s name to get headlines, and it seems to be working for her.

Madonna’s face looks a little different somehow and people are speculating that she’s had some work done recently.

Madonna’s most recent Letterman video is courtesy of TMZ.