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Oct 10
'06
Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio prank Jack Nicholson


From The National Enquirer’s Mike Walker comes the story of an hilarious prank Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio played on player Jack Nicholson. Nicholson was in the hospital to get his salivary glands checked out and they posed as masked interns trying to give him a rectal exam!

The usually unflappable JACK NICHOLSON, at LA’s Cedars-Sinai Medical Center to get a salivary gland problem checked out, waited patient-ly in an examining room until two men in medical garb and surgical masks walked in and brusquely informed him they were interns sent to perform his “initial workup.” While one picked up Jack’s chart and studied it, the other snapped on a rubber glove, brandished a tube of lubricant – and told the superstar, “Roll over, please, sir…we’ll be doing a rectal exam.” Turning pale, Jack immediately launched into non-stop protest, questioning the outrageous “overkill” of a radical probe for a problem at his opposite end…and was stunned speechless when the “interns” suddenly erupted in hysterical, howling laughter! Ripping off their masks, jokers MATT DAMON and LEONARDO DICAPRIO – costars of Jack’s new flick, “The Departed” – giggled helplessly as Matt gasped at gob-smacked Jack: “Dude…just the look on your face was worth all the planning!”

That’s a great story that would have been made better by news of an accompany Punk’d video, but I’ll have settle for a mental image.

Matt, Leo and Jack star in Martin Scorsese’s “The Departed,” which according to Pajiba is a well-crafted and compelling crime drama with an amazing cast.

All I need to know is that Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio are in it. Mark Wahlberg is just an added bonus.

Here’s the trailer on YouTube.

And here are some pictures from the film, courtesy of All Movie Photo.

Posted in Funny, Jack Nicholson, Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg, Matt Damon, Movies, Photos

Written by Celebitchy         7 Comments »
Sep 11
'06
Richard Branson punks Paris Hilton


Paris had a bad week. Busted for DUI, caught making out with Travis Barker despite claimimg to have been with his lookalike friend, and now the victim of a clever prank by likable freewheeling billionaire Richard Branson.

Branson held a Mad-Hatter themed party Saturday night, and Paris asked if she could dress as Alice in Wonderland and be the belle of the ball. Branson agreed, but had as his servers dress as Alice too! When Paris showed, he asked her to fetch him a drink:

Paris had asked if she could come to the Mad Hatter-themed bash dressed as Alice in Wonderland – guaranteeing her a starring role.

But when the Virgin tycoon found out, he secretly ordered that all 60 waitresses at the event should also wear Alice costumes – and he rubbed salt into Paris’s wounds when she arrived by deliberately mistaking her for one of the serving staff and asking her to serve him a drink…

A Virgin insider said: “It was one hell of a party. Paris found herself looking more like Tweedledum as she was surrounded by dozens of other Alices.”

Oops Paris! The only way you can win is by staying in and keeping to yourself for a little while, but that’s not going to happen, is it?

Thanks to Fark for linking this story.

Here are some low-res pictures of Paris getting arrested for DUI. [via]

Posted in Arrests, Funny, Paris Hilton, Parties, Photos, Richard Branson

Written by Celebitchy         3 Comments »
May 24
'06
Borat at Cannes (Topless sunbathers NSFW)


Borat hit Cannes with a bevy of cute women that were probably picked up on the beach for his photo op. In case you’re not familiar with Borat, he’s Sasha Baron Cohen, Ali G’s alter ego from Kazakhstan. He gets up to silly antics with less famous people than Ali G interviews. The Kazakhstani government is pissed that Borat tries to portrays their country like it’s full of backwards yokels who abuse women. Most people just think he’s funny and don’t care that he makes fun of a nation of people.

Here is an 8 minute video of Borat visiting a dating service and getting advice from a dating expert. One of his qualifications for a potential mate is that “She must be tight, like a man’s anus.” If that’s the case he may hurt the poor woman, because he claims to be big, “like a can of Pepsi.”

And here are some pictures of his arrival at Cannes. His footwear is the best.There are ass pictures and some topless sunbathers that are NSFW.

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Posted in Borat, Funny, Sacha Baron Cohen, Television, Video

Written by Celebitchy         2 Comments »
May 19
'06
Friday Night Joke: The Koala and the Little Lizard


My husband was forwarded this joke today. If you’ve already seen it, I apologize, but it’s just so funny.

The Koala and the Little Lizard
A koala is sitting up a gumtree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says “Hey Koala! what are you doing?”

The koala says: “Smoking a joint, come up and have some.”

So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints.

After a while the little lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’ and he’s going to get a drink from the river.

But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: “What’s the matter with you?”

The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says “Hey you!”

So the koala looks down at him and says…

Posted in Funny

Written by Celebitchy         3 Comments »
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