Oceans 12 was kind of a mess plot-wise, but the dialogue was good and the actors are so great you forget that films are supposed to make more sense. I would watch Clooney, Pitt and Damon sit around talking about anything. Throw in cool music and some heist scenes and I’m there.

Oceans 13 is scheduled for release on June 8, 2007:

Lindsay Lohan resolves to wear thong underwear to all funerals.

Britney Spears plans to make sure her children are properly secured in car seats before she drives under the influence.

Nicole Richie resolves to poop after she eats.

Paris Hilton resolves to quit being such a homebody and get out of the house more.

Angelina Jolie, in an effort to be taken seriously as an actress and humanitarian, plans to play the role of the princess in the new Mario Bros movie.

Madonna resolves to get more publicity for something she’ll figure out later.

Tom Cruise vows to quit exercising so hard and let himself go a little.

Matthew McConaughey vows to exercise shirtless outdoors at least once a week.

Christina Aguilera plans to be a bit more glamorous.

Victoria Beckham wants to lose those pesky last three pounds.

Jennifer Aniston plans to do a lot more cathartic yoga.

Nicole Kidman vows not to be the subject of any country songs.

Jessica Simpson vows to take some time off and relax.

Eva Longoria plans to speak her mind, or whatever comes to mind at the time.

Anna Nicole resolves to get blotto every day.

K-Fed resolves to get as much cash as possible in the divorce settlement and still come off as the good guy.

George Clooney vows to play the field in memory of his departed pig.

Thanks to my brother Mike for help with this list, some of which is humor, some obvious.

I read a quote from George Clooney that was sourced to a Newsweek interview in which he completely ripped on Jennifer Aniston’s prolonged non-relationship with Vince Vaughn. It sounded really harsh to me and I assumed it was a fake quote that was attributed to a source to make it seem real.

It began on the set of a film called “the break-up,” so let’s face it: the Vince Vaughn-Jennifer Aniston romance was doomed. It met its official, flack-certified demise last week, but it sounded over many times before.

The interview is easy to find on Newsweek’s website, and it’s basically a fluff piece in which Clooney talks about the frequent rumors that stars are getting married on his estate and reveals that his beauty routine consists of washing his face with plain soap and cutting his own hair. There’s nothing about Jennifer Aniston in the current article.

When I searched on some phrases from the quote I thought was fake, that same article came up in the Google cache with the statements about Aniston. The article was titled differently before the quote was removed, and was called “Newsmakers: George Clooney, Jennifer Aniston.” Now it’s just called “Newsmakers: George Clooney.”

At first I thought “Holy crap, George Clooney really hates Jennifer Aniston and tried to cover it up,” but it just looks like Newsweek had some trouble translating a print page to the web. That quote is not from Clooney at all, it’s a brief entertainment blurb that was tacked onto the end of the Clooney Q&A. The bold part is not worded like a question, and given the old title “Newsmakers: George Clooney, Jennifer Aniston,” it seems like it’s just another part of this entertainment section and was probably designed in the magazine with an inset box or put off to the side so you can tell it’s not part of the Clooney interview.

Here’s the cached Google version. There’s also a screenshot of it, because I’m ocd that way.
Here’s the actual version on Newsweek’s website, without that bit about Aniston.

You may read that quote around the web, and Clooney just didn’t say it. (Of course I was hoping Clooney really did say this, and had his people request that it be deleted from the article, but unfortunately that doesn’t seem to be the case.)

Renee Zellwegger looks like the perfect weight at the premiere of Mrs. Potter in London this weekend. It’s wrong of me to say that, because it just perpetuates the evil cycle that these Hollywood women go through to look good, but she’s not super skinny any more and looks really healthy. Would it kill her to use some gloss on those lips though?

Zellwegger said that not having time to eat while she’s working on the movie set helps her stay thin. She also claims that she’s a little bit intimidated at the thought of working with her once-rumored lover George Clooney because he’s a notorious prankster. They will start shooting the movie “Leatherheads” together in January.

Renee Zellweger, who showed up looking svelte at Sunday night’s London premiere of her new movie, Miss Potter, credits her slim figure to her work.

She says that the 20-minute lunch breaks she was allotted while making another movie, Case 39, helped her stay fit.

“That’s all we got on the set,” the Cold Mountain Oscar winner tells PEOPLE. “At that point, I was like, you know, forget it. And running around … everywhere, that helps.”

Zellweger, 37, joked that she finds out what diet she’s on by reading media reports. “I’m like, oh, oh, I’m doing that diet now – that’s fantastic! Good for me!”

As Peter Rabbit author Beatrix Potter, Zellweger is playing an English woman for the third time, having portrayed Bridget Jones twice. It’s having an effect, too: “I understand (and) crave the beans and toast breakfast,” she says.

But when it comes to living in the high-priced British capital, “I don’t know if I can afford it,” she told reporters. “I move around so much with work that I don’t really live anywhere.”

Next up for the actress: Leatherheads, with George Clooney. Shooting starts in January.

And how does she feel about working with PEOPLE’s Sexiest Man Alive? “I’m scared,” she admits. “I hear he’s a terrible prankster and really had patience… Like when you least expect it.”

As a result, “I’m going to be on alert, I’m never going to sleep, I’m sure of it. I’ll be watching my back, George!”

Considering that Clooney probably banged her a few times, it seems like she made a Freudian slip when she said she’ll be watching her, uh, back. Clooney is said to enjoy… entering establishments by the back door.

Renee is shown with Ewan McGregor, her costar in the film “Miss. Potter” at the premiere. (You know that people are still going to comment and say “that’s not George Clooney, duh.”) Here’s the trailer. Thanks to Faded Youth for these pictures.

- Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Britney Spears will be starring in a remake of “The Witches of Eastwick.” Who is going to be the Jack Nicholson character - Brandon Davis? Didn’t he sleep with all of them anyway? [The Independent via Fark]

- There’s going to be yet another “Beverly Hills Cop” movie, it will be number four, and yes Eddie Murphy is in talks to star in it. [Ain't it Cool News]

- And there’s news of a sequel that might actually be good. George Clooney is set to star in a movie based on the final novel in the “LA Confidential” crime book series. He’s to play a corrupt police lieutenant in “Jazz.” [Hollywood Reporter]

George Clooney is the new sexiest man alive according to People magazine, but is he deserving of this two-time honor? I say that in order to be sexy you have to be able to make a commitment – potbellied pigs do not count. Clooney is a notorious cad who has been linked with all sorts of women, but never for very long. His standards seem to involve the proximity of the woman to him at the time.

He broke his neighbor Teri Hatcher’s heart after just a couple months of dating, prompting her to reveal her childhood abuse to Vanity Fair in a vain attempt to get back at him. He was also linked with his co-star Ellen Barkin, who joked during a tribute to Clooney that she screwed him. She probably did.

Clooney has a recent on-again off-again relationship with hottie Krista Allen, but he never made a commitment to her.

He dated British TV presenter Lisa Snowdon for nearly five years, ending the relationship in 2005 after both parties said that it was too difficult to maintain a long distance relationship.

Clooney was engaged to French law student Celine Balitran in 1998, but their relationship ended in 1999 after three years together. Clooney did set her up with a house and enough money to live comfortably in LA after they broke up.

And he was actually married from the age of 28 to 32 to actress Talia Balsam, 2 years his senior.

It seems as if Clooney tried commitment a few times and kind of gave up, preferring to spend a few weeks here and there with whomever was convenient.

He may be sexy, but he’s not good relationship material. Indeed, Clooney has said as much. Referring to his relationship with Celine Balitran, he said “I’m actually a much better ex-boyfriend than I am a boyfriend.”

Most of my ex boyfriends kind of seem like jerks to me, and it would never occur to me that they were still sexy. Clooney is the celebrity ex boyfriend that has something about him, but you realize it wouldn’t be worth it to go there.

Holy Moly Blind Item

George Clooney and The Ties that Blind

Dateline London: George Clooney at the Tradesman’s Entrance

Following the lead of top UK publication Holy Moly — Vanity Fair, in an unprecedented editorial move, decided its November cover and indeed the entire issue had become irrelevant. The late breaking Clooney News meant it all had to be re-done — regardless of cost or timing. In a move that has stunned the the publishing world Vanity Fair Editor Graydon Carter has pulled all issues of their November Magazine featuring George Clooney on the cover.

The November issue was already available on newstands in L.A. and N.Y.C. as of October 5th — and was scheduled for release elsewhere in the U.S on October 10 … but STOP THE PRESSES. Vanity Fair trucks have been collecting unsold issues for pulping and bird cage lining … and Newstands across the country are on Standby for delivery of the Emergency re-edit.

We spoke to one Upen Piggybhai Patel at New York’s Grand Central Station … where he has been a newspaper and fine publications vendor for over thirty years.

“I first came to know about Graydon’s fixation for relevancy and very nowness from his mother, but still when I hear this recall tamasha I thought he has decided to pull a fast one. Scandal comes and goes … why make such a fuss.

“I mean he signed one after another big banner film stars for his covers and never recalled previously. He has always held Clooneybhai in the highest esteem. He was always looking forward to working with him.”

The shocking news of Clooney’s Ride down the Perilous Hutchence Highway fully banalized the original articles.

Even such formerly fascinating information as the Clooney-esque take on prostitution:

“I’d never seen a hooker in my life, coming from Kentucky and all these girls came up to the car and were like, ‘Baby, want to party? You want to party with me?’ And I was like, ‘Girls love me, man! I ‘m on fire in this town! I should have come here a long time ago! Chicks dig me!’ And Miguel goes, ‘They’re hookers, you idiot.”

Became patently absurd as wastes of glossy page space.

The homo-chic tweak of his manly Georgian views on the hotness that is Clive Owen:

“(He is) the big find in the past two or three years. I think he’s a movie star. He’s, like, a man – there’s a sexuality and a masculinity that I think is really interesting.”

These cologne scented observations — even while nestled between high end folded fragrance samples — now had the resonance and relevance of a breaking story on John Kerry’s Botox use.

What will Graydon bring Forth … now that we all know ?? How will Vanity Fair handle the substantive issues raised by this very contemporary tale of ties that bind? How will Dominic Dunne manage to name-drop while auto-asphyxiating ?

Vanity Fair’s readers worldwide are poised by their mailboxes.

You lucky buggers get to see it here first.

This post was originally published on Grumpy Old Indian Man, and is republished here under a content share agreement. If you would like to link it, please link directly to Grumpy Old Indian Man’s blog.

Brad Pitt is now back in LA filming Oceans 13, tentatively subtitled “any excuse to see Pitt, Damon and Clooney onscreen together, even if Ellen Barkin is in it,” and he’s been bringing Maddox and Zahara with him to work! Pitt is taking advantage of the on-set daycare.

That’s cute! I wish they had daycare where my husband works.

Meanwhile these new pics on the Oceans set came out. There were just low-res versions before, but these huge pictures of the guys on set are making me swoon! There are plenty of pictures of Damon’s cute butt too! Thanks to Simply Brad for the pics.

George Clooney said he felt suicidal while filming his Oscar-winning performance in Syriana. He gained 38 pounds for the role and went through a series of personal tragedies that left him in a deep depression.

Sky.co.uk had these new pictures taken on the set of Oceans 13. They’re rather small, but still drool-worthy. Just thinking about Brad, Matt, and George on-screen again – even in the most unwatchable film – gets me all woosy. Sky says there’s this mystery new person in the latest Oceans installment. I don’t know why they’re getting all worked up about it, though. Everyone knows that the new actress in Oceans 13 is Ellen Barkin, who inexplicably gets an on-screen fling with Matt Damon. How did she get so lucky? Her billionaire husband cheated on her and dumped her. (Sorry I’m so bitter! You go Ellen.)

Here are the pictures on set. The linked versions are low quality. As soon as higher resolution versions come out, I’ll post them.