While there are some conflicting reports on the amounts, Daily World is saying £10 million cash, The Sun is saying £20 million, it’s widely reported that the attorneys for Madonna and Guy Ritchie have hashed out an early divorce settlement that both parties seem ok with. In more evidence that the process for this divorce started well before the announcement last week, the agreement will give Ritchie somewhere between £10 to 20 million, the Ashcombe House in the country and the Punchbowl Pub he’s so fond of. The cash part of the settlement is for Ritchie’s part of the two Marylebone houses and their cottages.

As a further part of the deal, Guy agrees to a gag clause, swearing him to silence about life with Madge. Guy doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who would go running to the tabloids to make a buck anyway, so this probably wasn’t a big deal to him.

As part of the deal Guy, 40, has agreed to a gagging clause that will prevent him from ever talking about their seven-and-a-half-year marriage.

The couple agreed the settlement via their lawyers and film director Guy yesterday told friends he is ‘hugely relieved’ and walking away from the broken marriage ‘a happier man’.

Guy will own Ashcombe House, their 1,200 acre £10million estate in Wiltshire, while Madonna will keep the couple’s £7million townhouse in Marylebone in central London.
A source close to Guy said last night: ‘He just wants out, he has had enough of the Madonna circus and he is massively relieved. It was never about the money.

‘The most important things to him are having full access to his kids, whom he adores, and a quiet life.
‘The one thing he wants more than anything is their house in the country along with his pub The Punchbowl.

‘She is giving Guy £10million, which is the value of their London home and it’s basically a way of buying his silence.

[From The Daily Mail]

Madonna was undoubtedly happy with the arrangement, she gets to keep most of her nearly $600 million fortune. According to the Daily Mail, Madonna will be moving herself and the kids back to the US, but Guy will continue to have full access to them. He decided not to get into a custody fight because he was told there was virtually no way Madonna, as their mother, would be denied custody. The source says Ritchie is a dovoted father and will be buying an apartment in NYC so that he can see the kids more often.

That’s not all Guy is going to do more often. Ritchie plans to get alot more of what he’s been lacking and is looking forward to taking up as many of the propositions he’s always gotten from women as he can.

Pals also said Guy now plans to bed as many women as possible. The source said: “Guy has always been very popular with women. They have thrown themselves at him throughout his marriage but he has always been utterly faithful.

“Now it’s all over he plans to have a little fun — something that has been missing from his life for far too long.”

[From The Sun]

From what I’ve gathered, there are plenty of women on both sides of the Atlantic ready to let Guy finally feel something soft.

Guy Ritchie is shown outside his office in London on 10/17/08. Credit: Bauergriffinonline. Madonna is shown outside the Kabbalah Centre in NY on 10/18/08. Credit: Fame Pictures

Madonna has a younger brother, Christopher Ciccone, who worked with her on the Blonde Ambition and Girlie Show tours, and her Truth or Dare film. Lately the two haven’t been close, possibly because he’s trying to hide from her while he writes her unauthorized biography.

Madonna’s brother, Christopher Ciccone, is writing a memoir about his sister to be released in mid-July by an imprint of Simon & Schuster, the publisher says.

The imprint, Simon Spotlight Entertainment, had been promoting a celebrity memoir for July without identifying the author or contents. Life With My Sister Madonna will have a first printing of 350,000. Financial details were not disclosed.

“Ciccone’s extraordinary memoir is based on his life and 47 years of growing up with and working with his sister – the most famous woman in the world,” the publisher said in a statement on Wednesday.

The West Australian

Madonna’s publicist initially had no comment, but later stated that “Madonna has not cooperated with any biography about herself”.

This is not the first time a biography has been written about the Queen of Pop, I think it’s fair to say there have been dozens of them, but this is the first time family members have been talking. They are brave people – have you seen her arms? She’s could take you.

No details of the biography have been leaked, but since it’s by her brother I think it will deal with her childhood, loss of her mother, and relationship with her father and stepmother. Those are all things Madonna has spoken about before. I have a 1991 issue of Rolling Stone where she talks to Carrie Fisher about her difficult life. (It also has Arnold Schwarzenegger on the cover saying he’s not interested in entering politics.)

Madonna also talked about her mother’s death and Warren Beatty in her Truth or Dare film.

What hasn’t really been discussed much are her children (although, her whole Ray of Light album is all about motherhood). Also her relationship with Guy Richie has always been pretty private, probably because it’s not very interesting. I get the feeling that Madonna in her 40s and in her marriage is just boring and normal like the rest of us – staying at home and having a cup of tea in the evenings with Guy, while the kids are sleeping.

It’s a shame that Madonna has lost touch with her brother, but she has three kids and lives in another country from her family. It takes a lot of work to communicate with people across different timezones, and I get the feeling that Madonna only has one item on her agenda: Madonna. And that may be exactly what her brother’s book claims.

Christopher Ciccone is shown on 3/25/07 at a party, thanks to Splash News. Madonna is shown outside her gym house on 6/6/08, thanks to WENN.

Mad About the Guy

The evil 3am Girls over at the Mirror report some atypically happily married news about Madonna and Guy Ritchie

MADONNA proved there’s only one Guy for her – as she cuddled up to her husband at last night’s premiere of her new movie.

The pop queen made the film, Arthur and the Invisibles, real family viewing by taking along her clan.
Madge, 48, showed she was truly, madly, deeply hooked on Guy, 38, as she clutched his arm as they held hands outside the West End gala.

Daughter Lourdes, 10, and son Rocco, six, grabbed hold of Dad’s other arm. But adopted 15-month-old David Banda was left snoozing at home. When we inquired about him, Madge gushed: “He’s great, wonderful. Thank you so much for asking.”

They must have been really beaming that solid couple vibe because the actual evidence is rather flimsy … a bit of hand holding and a bit of cuddling on the red (actually green) carpet at a premiere. Surely the weather outside in January in London would induce cuddling in all but the most hostile of couples. As anyone can see although Madonna’s had all the kids Guy’s put on all the weight – you know what they say — big boys keep you warm in the winter and give you shade in the summertime.

Should make him useful at pretty much any movie premiere anywhere … well, sadly excluding premieres of his own movies. If there are going to be anymore of those …. Hmm no wonder he’s packed on the pounds. Career death can make Ben & Jerry any formerly fit boys best friends … you can’t cuddle up to them on the red carpet, but you can late, late at night, in your mansion, in a dark corner as you silently weep into your pint of Chunky Monkey mumbling “Swept Away … WHY … Why … why …

Pictures from Love Fashion Rock and Drowned Madonna.

I’m not really buying this news, because The Mirror makes a lot of shit up based on paparazzi pictures. It’s likely that someone saw some pictures of Madge and Guy looking unhappy after leaving a restaurant and invented this dialogue. Maybe it’s true as it’s possible that another diner or one of the staff overheard this. The fact that they lead with how they looked afterwards kind of tips me off that they’re using the photos to make up this story.

Madonna and Guy are said to have fought loudly in a restaurant over how controlling Madonna is:

The couple, just two weeks away from their sixth wedding anniversary, had a furious row at in front of stunned diners at exclusive Italian restaurant Cecconi’s in Mayfair.

Fellow guests were shocked to hear film director Guy, 38, attacking his wife for being so “controlling” all the time. Pop queen Madge, 48, meanwhile looked miffed as she sat at the table toying with her food.

The Lock, Stock … director later emerged stony faced from the London restaurant, while the superstar singer just looked drained.

A customer revealed: “The atmosphere between them was more than frosty. Guy was the one who was raising his voice the most – you couldn’t help but hear what he was saying.

“They were sitting in a corner booth and he was telling her that he’d had enough of her being so controlling all the time and that something had to give.

“Madonna tried to give it back to him, but he would just talk over her. She just seemed really embarrassed. They didn’t enjoy their meal and left after about an hour and a half.”

The row comes less than a week after it emerged the couple were planning to see marriage therapist Tricia Barnes as the cracks deepened in their six-year marriage.

Two months ago the couple were celebrating the adoption of Malawian orphan David Banda.

But despite their devotion to the toddler and children Lourdes, 10, and Rocco, six the marriage is said to have hit an all time low.

An insider said: “Guy and Madonna both dote on David, but her attitude can irritate and upset Guy.

“She drove the whole adoption thing and Guy was just left trailing in her slipstream just nodding and going along with things.

“The bottom line is that Guy sometimes feels he’s not allowed to have an opinion.”

There was a rumor that Madonna wanted another Malawian infant right away and was eyeing a one and a half year-old girl named Jessica. Another couple was said to be in the process of adopting her and was worried that Madonna would snatch her first. That seems to have been put on hold, and it was said that Guy told Madonna that he didn’t support another adoption so soon after they took little Davie home.

Given Madonna’s personality, it’s not that much of a stretch to assume these two are fighting, but I doubt that The Mirror has any insider information in this case. I’ve caught them making up stories based on pictures before, and they’re not that reliable of a source. (What gossip rag is?) They also say that Madonna and Guy left after an hour and a half, which is just about the amount of time it usually takes to have dinner. Why would they add that detail unless they don’t have much else to use for the supposed eyewitness quote?

Madonna is said to have accessorized her evilness by wearing a coat made of 60 widdle chinchillas that evening. She is also working on a new fashion line with H&M called M by Madonna. Her H&M tracksuits failed to sell, so the Swedish retail chain is giving her another chance.

Header picture from swaggyp’s Flickr. Inset image from SkyNews.

Update: Thanks to Splash News for the new header image of Madonna and Guy on the evening in question. Here’s the fug picture of Madonna that I used for the header image earlier:

There were rumors last month that Madonna wanted to adopt African twins, and I figured it was a story made up by the inventive British press that was trotted on slow news days. Now her annoying Madgesty is in Malawai for an unannounced humanitarian mission, and word is that she’s serious about coming back with a baby, just like Angelina!

That’s good of Madonna to use her enormous wealth to bring attention to how much she cares about the world’s youth. I googled Andrina Mchiela and she’s a real government official in Malawai, so this could be true. If so, look for lots of pictures of Madonna cradling some lucky baby in her buff, veiny arms.

There was a rumor back in early April that 48 year-old Madonna was trying for another baby with her tolerant husband, downtrodden director Guy Richie, who is ten years her junior. She was said to be hoping that a new baby would revitalize their troubled five-year marriage.

If that was true, Madonna seems to be sticking to her strategy. She’s certainly known for being persistent.

Here’s Madonna outside her London gym in late September. [via]

Update: there was a news report that Madonna adopted a one year-old boy, but her representative denies that it’s true.

A Dutch priest used his home phone to call in a bomb threat for a Madonna concert in Amsterdam and was easily caught. Police realized right away that the threat was a hoax and Madonna got more publicity for her tired gimmick making fun of the old Christian boys’ network.

Madonna gets rich off the same schtick for 20 years, and these dumb old priests just play into her hands.

Here she is outside the gym in one of her gorgeous tracksuits and baseball hats. Her husband, the hapless Guy Richie, is also shown after working out. [via]

Madonna and her husband Guy Richie, who was once a director but became a stay-at-home dad after Madonna’s influence ruined his career, have been plagued by breakup rumors for ages. In mid-May Madonna was seen out without her wedding ring, while Guy decided to take a month-long extreme sports vacation with some of his buddies.

Madonna said in an interview that she felt like a crap mother because she wanted to focus on her career, while her father-in-law speculated that she and Guy would stay together for their kids. Now Madonna has admitted that Guy doesn’t really like her music and is not a fan, and that she really misses being single. In fact she sounds positively wistful for her old life without a family:

Madonna, you’re 48 years old. This is how it is when you have a family. Get over it.

Meanwhile Guy and Madonna are reportedly fighting about schooling for their children. Madonna is dragging them all over the world on her tour, while Guy wants them to stay in England and have some continuity in their education:

Guy has put up with a lot of shit from Madonna over the years, but it sounds like he’s putting his foot down on this one. How much longer do you think these two will last?

Here are Madonna and Guy after her 48th birthday party on August 16th. They look like everything is just fine. [via]

MSNBC’s The Scoop is reporting that cult-loving Madonna has been seen out without her wedding ring. People have speculated that Madonna’s five-year marriage to Guy Richie is in trouble for some time.

While Madonna is out touring and promoting her new album, Guy’s career has languished. He put out Revolver last year, a critical and commercial failure, and before that was the terrible Madonna film Swept Away in 2002. His only hits are Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels from 1998 and Snatch in 2000, both of which were brilliant but he hasn’t been able to create a follow-up.

Madonna was said to have put Guy on a curfew a couple of months ago, and tried to limit his drinking to three pints a night.

Last month she was supposed to be trying for another baby, but that sounded like just a rumor.

Guy was said to be going on a month-long extreme sports vacation with his friends this month, and it is unclear if they are even together.

Madonna has recently said that she feels like a bad mother for spending so much time working. Does she feel like a bad wife too?