Gwyneth Paltrow was recently seen on this freakish magazine cover, and inside talking about her plans for a comeback after having two children. Now she’s revealed what the big move back into showbiz will be – TV chef.

Gwyneth Paltrow is to co-host a cooking show for US TV in which she travels around Spain on a culinary road trip.

Her friend Mario Batali, a celebrity chef, told her of his plan to travel through Spain.

“I told him, ‘I’ll go with you’. Later, he was like, ‘Are you joking?’ And I was like, ‘No, I’m actually not joking!’” said Paltrow, who has fond childhood memories of holidays in the country.

“I eat all that (Spanish) stuff. The crazy fish things, the eels, I love it all,” she added.

Sun Online

Gwyneth fortunately spares us what could be the worst cooking show ever, macrobiotic. She and husband Coldplay’s Chris Martin are big followers of the macrobiotic diet. She will be skipping the beef and pork, which she doesn’t eat.

In other Gwynnie news, she isn’t planning on having another baby any time soon.

“I don’t think so. Well, definitely not right away,” the 34-year-old actress tells W magazine.

Paltrow and Martin, the lead singer of Coldplay, have a 3-year-old daughter, Apple, and 1-year-old son, Moses.

“I have a dream version where I think, maybe in four years, I’ll have two in a row really quickly again – how fabulous to have a whole bunch of them!” she says. “But then, at that point, when everyone’s potty-trained and sleeping through the night, are you really going to go back?”

“I’d also like to work a bit. My husband really wants to adopt,” she says. “So I don’t know. I’m sort of open for anything.”

New Zealand Herald

I guess she’s going to make some movies in the near future too. As she herself says, a movie a year makes her a ‘more interesting person and a better mother.’

Note by Celebitchy: I have eaten macrobiotic (at specific meals, not for lengthy periods of time) and I really liked it. I had some amazing macrobiotic meals at restaurants in NY when I lived near there. It doesn’t seem like a good idea for Gwyneth to stage her comeback around a cooking show, but maybe it will work for her. She is also going to be in that Ironman movie with Robert Downey Jr., coming out next year.

Gwyneth Paltrow is on the cover of September’s W Magazine, and they’re wildly proclaiming it to be her comeback. Sounds great, except it’s not Gwyneth. Clearly they used one of Madame Tussauds wax sculptures. From the look of her lips, it was one of the dead ones too. They took away everything that makes her look like Gwyneth Paltrow. Instead she just looks like some generic, soulless model. Though a lot of people would call Gwyneth generic and soulless on her most attractive day too. A lot of people don’t like her, as she’s been accused of being a snobbish, pretentious, boring, demanding, and egocentric bitch. And looking at these photos, I’ve got to believe that both the photographer and the retoucher agree.

And my God, how long is she going to insist upon that California circa 1972 hairstyle? I bet she gets up every morning and combs her hair 100 times a la Marsha Brady and thinks, “Should I wear it parted directly in the middle or 1/8 a centimeter to the left?” In the header photo she looks incredibly smug and mannish, and also like she’s contemplating coming right through that cover and kicking your ass.

“Gwyneth Paltrow took a hiatus from the bright lights of Hollywood to raise her two children, but now the Oscar winning actress is preparing to step back into the spotlight.

“The former industry darling has marked return with a glamorous covershoot for American magazine W.

“Her tousled mother-on-the-run hair was replaced by a sleek blonde mane and her usually alabaster, make-up free look was given a rather dramatic bronze and polish for the cover. “

[From the Daily Mail]

That’s hysterical. I think “rather dramatic” is a nice way of saying “shockingly bizarre.” I’d like to direct your attention to this picture, because I used to work in a vet clinic. So let me tell you, this photo is really true to life. Nothing is sexier than a cat on crutches. Well I’m assuming she’s supposed to be a cat, but those might be spoons on her head. It’s hard to tell. I also like the picture further down with the cane. Right before Christmas I fell down an entire flight of stairs and tore my medial collateral ligament in my knee. I had to use one of those canes for a few months, and I was pretty embarrassed. But now, thanks to Gwyneth, I realize that it was not embarrassing but actually really, really sexy. I also happened to lounge on a chair like I was half drunk and slipping off while wearing my super sexy garters… you know I really think I was probably the inspiration for these shots. Plus I have an awesome picture of Jesus above my bed, just like she does. Actually it turns out Gwyneth had knee surgery and is still recovering, so someone at the photo shoot decided to get “creative.”

Thanks to The Daily Mail and ONTD for these pics.

So this is why commentors were saying that it was old news when Gwyneth was talking crap about how the British were superior. E! Online has compiled a list of Gwyneth quotes and it looks like the Portugese newspaper just cut and pasted her real statements from other interviews.

It’s possible the first quote below, from British Star where she said that the British were “far more intelligent and civilized” was made up, as the British rags are notorious for doing that. All these other quotes are from solid sources though so she did say that the dinner conversation is oh so much better with her rich British friends who don’t have to work:

To Britain’s Star magazine in February 2006: “I love living in the UK! Brits are far more intelligent and civilized than Americans.”

To London’s Guardian in January 2006: “I love the English way, which is not as capitalistic as it is in America. People don’t talk about work and money; they talk about interesting things at dinner parties. I like living here because I don’t tap into the bad side of American psychology, which is ‘I’m not achieving enough, I’m not making enough, I’m not at the top of the pile.’ It’s just kind of like, I am.”

To Harper’s Bazaar in September 2006: “People think it’s strange that I want to live here. But London is where my husband lives and works…It’s not as hectic as New York and not as vapid as Los Angeles.”

In the same Harper’s interview, on preferring her British friends to her American friends: “They’re intelligent and they’re not looking over my shoulder at dinner to see if there’s anyone better walking in.”

To Toronto’s Globe & Mail in September 2005: “I’ve always been drawn to Europe. America is such a young country, with an adolescent swagger about it. But I feel that I have a more European sensibility, a greater respect for the multicultural nature of the globe. And it’s a strange time to be an American now.”

To London’s Evening Standard in December 2005: “I find the English amazing how they got over 7/7. There were no multiple memorials with people sobbing as they would have been in America. There, they are constantly scaring people but at the same time, people think nothing of going to see a therapist.”

I am a dumb American living in Switzerland, and it is a different lifestyle here. I don’t hang out with rich people so I’m not privy to fascinating conversations about the money someone blew on a piece of minimalist furniture. The people I know are just normal and nice and they’re not smarter or more cultured than my cool American friends.

It’s really clean, safe and picturesque here, with quaint festivals and open air markets, but the shopping is inaccessible and I miss 24 hour stores in the states. I mean the grocery stores close at 6:30 on weeknights and nothing is open on Sunday. Plus the smoking everywhere gets on my last nerve. It’s a trade off no matter where you are, and to act like you’re superior because you moved is ludacris. I have met several annoying Americans who think they’re hot shit for living here and travelling around Europe. Get over yourselves, people. If you’re a celebrity you should realize that your life is not reality for the rest of the world and quit talking smack.

Celebrities depend on the goodwill of the public in order to rake in millions for work that the rest of us would be grateful to get 10g for. We all like to bitch, but if you’re famous you should complain to your friends, not the press.

Oh – and I live in a country where they actually speak a different language, which humbles me every day despite my best efforts. As Agent Bedhead points out, these celebrities are moving to English-speaking countries. Let’s see Gwyneth try to get by somewhere she had to learn a different language to realize how superior the people are. Shania Twain lives in Switzerland and you don’t hear her spouting off about how much better it is. Some things are better, some things are worse, that’s usually how it works.

Gwyneth Paltrow needs to hire someone who will issue clear denials of the stupid things she supposedly says. She claimed she never said Americans were stupid and boring since they talk about how they work to make a living compared to what her British blue-blood friends, who don’t have to lift a finger in life, talk about. She did say something that was likely suggestive of that during a Spanish press conference. She’s pretty vague about what she actually said, and claims that her bad Spanish was to blame, but since she once bashed Americans for mourning 9/11, it’s likely she wasn’t all positive about how great America is.

“First of all I feel so lucky to be American. When you look at the rest of the world, we’re so lucky, and that’s something my dad always instilled in me,” Paltrow tells PEOPLE. “I feel so proud to be American.”

The actress has recently been criticized after she was quoted as telling the Portuguese newspaper Diario De Noticias, “The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans.”

“I felt so upset to be completely misconstrued and I never, ever would have said that,” says the 34-year-old Oscar winner. “I definitely did not say that I think the British are more intelligent and civilized than Americans. I am a New York girl, that’s how I always think of myself and see myself.”

Paltrow, who lives part-time in London with her British husband, Coldplay singer Chris Martin, and their two children, Apple, 2, and Moses, 7 months, says: “I live in England half the time because I’m married to an English guy. It’s not like I’ve left America.”

As for where the quotes came from, Paltrow says she did not give an interview to the Portuguese daily newspaper, though she did give a press conference – in Spanish – for an endorsement she did in Spain.

“This is what I said. I said that Europe is a much older culture and there’s a difference. I always say in America, people live to work and in Europe, people work to live. There are positives in both,” says the actress, adding, “Obviously I need to go back to seventh-grade Spanish!“

Yeah, she probably said that the Americans talk too much about work. It’s not like she’s wrong in that America is more work-focused, but she’s a public figure and her career depends on keeping in the public’s good graces. If she doesn’t want to stir up controversy she shouldn’t compare Americans to British unfavorably.

She gets a B grade for this denial. It’s adequate and she seems somewhat sincere, but in light of the crap she’s said in the past it seems like she did say something that was pretty similar to how she was quoted. I think a carefully worded statement from a publicist would have closed the matter a lot better.

I really hope this is one of those made up quotes and that Gwyneth didn’t actually say this. It sounds really arrogant and more than a little ignorant.

Oscar-winning US actress Gwyneth Paltrow feels dinner talk is far more interesting in her adopted homeland Britain than back in her native country.

“I love the English lifestyle, it’s not as capitalistic as America. People don’t talk about work and money, they talk about interesting things at dinner,” she told “NS,” the weekend magazine supplement of daily Portuguese newspaper Diario de Noticias on Saturday.

“I like living here because I don’t fit into the bad side of American psychology. The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans,” the 34-year-old added.

It seems too obnoxious even for Gwyneth and I would be surprised if it’s an accurate quote.

Header picture is of Gwyneth at the Prince’s Trust Gala on 11/15 and is from Saving Face forum.

There’s this cute story about how Madonna is taking her new little half-orphan 13 month-old David to visit Gwyneth Paltrow’s 9 month-old son, Moses. Stella McCartney’s 19 month-old son, Miller, and Kate Winslet’s three year-old boy, Joe, are also said to have joined them a few times:

Madonna’s adopted son has been enjoying play dates with Gwyneth Paltrow’s baby boy Moses.

The ‘Hung Up’ singer has been taking 13-month-old David – who she gained interim custody of on October 12 – to the ‘Shakespeare In Love’ actress’North London home so the two tots can get to know each other.

A source close to the pop superstar is quoted by Britain’s The Sun newspaper as saying: “Madonna was keen for David to get friends his own age group.”

The two famous babies have also been joined by fashion designer Stella McCartney’s 19-month-old son Miller and actress Kate Winslet’s three-year-old boy Joe on several occasions.

This sounds really cute and all, but I don’t know if I believe that all these famous babies got together. I mean, where are the pictures of the mommies outside their homes? We see Madonna and Gwyneth’s every gym visit, wouldn’t this be bigger news if they were visiting each other with their babies?

Maybe it’s true that Madonna and Gwyneth had a few glasses of wine and talked about their vacation plans in those fake British accent while the nannies watched their babies, but I’m not sure that Kate Winslet and Stella McCartney came along and dropped off ther tots too.

Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Pitt are set to star in a new movie together about the life of former president Richard Nixon:

Both Gwyneth and Brad have new babies with other partners. They’re sure to have a lot to talk about on set, and this sounds like it will be a great film. It’s also good news for Gwyneth. She’s been blabbing about how she’s ready to get back to work for some time.

Gwyneth Paltrow is on one of her supposedly crazy diets again where you don’t eat dairy or gluten/wheat products and avoid most fruit. It’s the lead story in the celebrity section of The Sun today, and they make a big deal out of it, but it doesn’t seem so strange to me:

Gwyneth just must have started this diet, because she sure had plenty of champagne at her birthday party last month.

I have gone on diets like that and once you’re used to the routine you feel pretty healthy as long as you’re getting the right nutrients. After my son was born I went on a no-wheat no-milk diet in order to make sure my milk was digestible. Some claim that it’s a myth that food you eat passes through to your breastmilk, but I got the diet from one of Dr. Sears’ baby books and I swear my baby stopped being colicky afterwards. After a few months less passes through to the baby through the milk so I went back to eating normal food again.

A lot of people are sensitive to gluten and dairy and a “paleolithic diet” is considered quite healthy by experts. A friend of mine’s wife had MS and was nearly cured after giving up wheat and dairy. For more on these type of diets, read up on Dr. Weston Price’s “Nutrition and Physical Degeneration.”

I know I am talking about diets a lot lately, but I think they really work if you’re sensible about them and eat enough.

Here is Gwyneth at Paris Fashion Week with Kim Cattrall. She doesn’t need to lose weight, but she could do something about her makeup. I really dislike it when people put eyeliner on the membranes of their eyes without putting it beneath the eye too and think it looks strange. Makeup artist rubygirl214 commented on our J.Lo looks terrible post, so I wonder what she thinks.

Pictures [via]

Beyonce and Gwyneth are new BFFs, and hung out together and partied in London for Gwyneth’s 34th birthday. They shopped, went to dinner, saw Jay-Z perform, and then hit a club afterwards. Gwyneth’s husband Chris Martin even joined Jay-Z on stage during his performance at Royal Albert Hall while Gwyneth let loose and sung backup.

[from Beyonceworld.net]

London’s The Mirror said that Beyonce and Gwyneth talked about music and babies at the after party, but they’re making that shit up and running a story based on the photographs:

They all obviously had a great time and enjoyed themselves on Gwyneth’s birthday.

Thanks to BeyonceWorld.net for these pictures.

Update: Jay-Z was the first hip hop artist to headline at Albert Hall. He will play Paris tonight and Milan tomorrow.

“Lightweight” in the image caption above is not a literal reference to either Beyonce or Gwyneth’s weight, and just refers to the fact that Beyonce is visibly drunk in the pictures, while Gwyneth just looks tipsy.

I was going to add an “h” to the title, but figured everyone already knew that she was a whiner. People know she’s a wino too, as Gwyneth was spotted no less than two times imbibing in public during the late stages of her pregnancy with little Mortimer Moses. She now says she enjoys a little quiet time in her garden at night with a glass of Pinot Noir, the stuff made famous by the movie “Sideways”. There’s nothing wrong with that, and I’m just trying to spin it into something more controversial because there’s not a lot of news about Gwyneth, so don’t flame me:

Gwyneth was also spotted out taking surfing lessons of all things while on the beach in Cornwall near her in-laws place:

Here she is outside her North London gym. A commentor on Lime-Light, where I found the pictures, notes that it’s the same gym Madonna goes to. Gwyneth looks great, her hair is gorgeous and there’s nothing wrong with a little wine. Hell I only have one kid and I enjoy imbibing in, uh, moderation.