Little Moses will make his debut alongside Barron Trump in the upcoming issue of People Magazine. Celebrities should wait a little while to release their baby’s pictures in order to drive up the bidding and let their little ones grow into their faces. We’re just saying.

It’s hard to tell if little Moses has a trace of the fetal alcohol syndrome with the terrible face he’s pulling, but maybe that’s for the best.

This first picture of Moses Paltrow-Martin was printed in Britiains Daily Mirror:

It’s hard to see the baby, but since it’s the first known picture of him we thought you’d like to have a peek.

Picture [via]

We read an unsourced rumor in the popbitch e-mail newsletter that Gwyneth Paltrow was tired of not being able to get drunk and had a C-section scheduled for this weekend. It looks like the rumor may have been true as Perez Hilton reports that Paltrow’s child is now on the outside.

We’re waiting to hear confirmation on the poor kid’s name.

Update: The boy’s name is Moses. That’s not as bad as it could have been.

Heavily pregnant Gwyneth Paltrow was spotted drinking a Guinness while out with her husband at a sushi bar in NY on Tuesday.

When I was pregnant I would go out for California rolls because they have no raw fish, but are still tasty if you crave some sushi. I never - ever - had a sip of alcohol though. That’s obnoxious and Gwyneth should know better. What a dumb bitch she is.

Gwyneth Paltrow and Jennifer Aniston are superb at giving arrogant quotes. Since they both dated Brad Pitt and hate the entertainment industry they have a few things in common to complain about. It’s surprising that you don’t see more of those two rude bitches together, and we think they would make great friends.

Paltrow was just quoted bitching about Robbie Williams in faux British vernacular. She probably resents the fact that Williams is more talented than her boring husband:

Well, we can attest to the fact that Williams likes to get naked, and that he looks damn good in the process. As for being rude, it takes one to know one.

Here’s Paltrow in NY last week trying to bundle up.

Pictures [via]

Gwyneth Paltrow is having a boy and plans to name him Mortimer. No, we did not make this up:

First of all, Mortimer is a nickname Paltrow made up and isn’t even Speilberg’s real name, which is really Steven Spielberg.

Second, there’s a reason why only old Jewish men are named Mortimer - it’s a weird creepy name that is deservedly out of fashion.

We hope this rumor is false or that Paltrow changes her mind. The girl is a pompous laughing stock and she should get therapy from a non new-age source.

Via Oh no they didn’t comes Gwyneth Paltrow and Daniel Henney’s Japanese Beanpole ad. It’s flirty and sexy, and you might enjoy it.

Here’s Gwyneth’s husband, Chris Martin, out with their daughter Apple, almost 2, in NY on 3/18. [via]