Yesterday The Today Show did a send up of the Royal Wedding featuring their morning anchors in costume. (You can watch the video here.) Meredith Vieira even visited the show as the Queen of England complete with a bunch of adorable corgis! Of course eyebrow-challenged Ann Curry had to be Duchess Kate while Matt Lauer was Prince William. The secondary cast really shone, though, with Natalie Morales as Pippa and Hoda and Kathie Lee as Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice.

Al Roker was Prince Harry, and Pippa/Natalie Morales even flirted with him!

And I loved Sarah Haines as a pregnant Posh!

Remember what I wrote yesterday about the standard mom costume, the witch? Jessica Alba was a witch at a party over the weekend, and Katherine Heigl and Jennifer Garner were witches on Halloween. (below.) So uninspired. At least stick some warts on your nose or carry a cauldron or something. Garner gets a pregnancy pass, but barely because there are so many other fun costumes you can do while pregnant. I’ll say something nice, Katherine’s daughter Naleigh is the cutest princess. I love her smile!

Then yesterday Jessica Alba was some kind of cat. Her daughter Honor was an adorable genie. Hopefully she rode in that stroller and didn’t go barefoot.

Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber were a clown and maybe the Grim Reaper, it’s hard to tell. They were photographed out trick or treating in NY with their boys Sasha and Samuel. I love that she wasn’t afraid to look silly.

Alyson Hannigan, Alexis Denisof and their daughter Satyana were scarecrows and a pumpkin. Such great outfits! Sure this is a Halloween photo op, but this is how you do it.

On Live! With Regis & Kelly, Kelly was Kim Kardashian and Nick Lachey donned some severe lifts to play Kris Humphries. How ironic this costume ended up being. They should have added some blood and knives to capture the spirit of the marriage.

Later on in the show they were Charlie Sheen and a pageant toddler. Somehow this pageant outfit suits Kelly perfectly.

Nicole Richie was a pitch perfect J.Lo over the weekend and a sexy pirate for Halloween along with her husband, Joel Madden. This is how you do sexy without showing a lot of skin, although Nicole did show off her new boobs.

Speaking of sexy, Sofia Vergara was a cute Angry Bird. I saw a few of these yesterday, along with a chick dressed up as Amy Winehouse. I heard her tell someone that she got the wig online. Tacky.

Sofia Vergara on WhoSay

I’m so excited for Halloween this year, because it’s the first year I’m back in America after six years away. They do Halloween in Germany, but it’s a relatively new holiday for them, there’s not much trick or treating and it doesn’t feel the same at all. So it’s surprising to me that Heidi Klum is such a Halloween aficionado since she’s German. Heidi goes all out every year for her annual Halloween party. Last year she was a transformer alien creator, complete with huge lifts that made her tower over her husband Seal. The year before that she and Seal were matching crows with elaborately feathered outfits, and in 2008 she was a Hindu goddess. This year Heidi was one of those skin-removed bodies exhibits, and she was simultaneously sexy in her tight muscle-revealing suit and scary at the same time. Seal wasn’t with her from what I can see in the photos at our agencies. He’s currently on tour and was playing in Belgium that night. She’s having another party on Monday in NY, and Seal might be there. I wonder how she’ll dress up for that one.

Heidi Klum, known for her elaborate Halloween costumes, got an early start on the holiday, arriving Saturday at Tao Las Vegas in dramatic fashion: on gurney covered with a white bed sheet.

As the sheet lifted, Klum’s body appeared, showing off every muscle as if her skin was ripped off.

“This is my 13th Halloween party,” she later said. “This year I wanted to be a dead person.”

The Bodies: The Exhibition-style costume that rendered the supermodel unrecognizable was compromised of a painted body suit and the makeup on her face took three-and-a-half hours.

“In our house it’s Halloween all year round,” says Klum, who’s married to singer Seal with four children. “It’s not as scary but (my kids) love dressing up. Look at their mom. She’s always dressing up. It runs in the family.”

The party on Saturday was the first of two that Klum is hosting for Halloween. Her second party will be Monday at PHD inside The Dream in New York City.

[From People]

This was so impressive. There weren’t a lot of other celebrities there. In the red carpet photos there’s only a non-dressed up Gilles Marini, Bethenny Frankel as a harajuku/Hello Kitty girl, and DJ Questlove in some t-shirt excuse for a costume. Everyone was probably in LA this weekend instead of Vegas, where the party was held. Hopefully she’ll get a better turnout for the NY party. It doesn’t matter, though, when Heidi shows up for Halloween she steals the show.

Look at the makeup detail on her scalp. Someone even painted veins on there. I love how she paired stripper heels with that costume.

Update: Here are two more photos of Heidi, from her Twitter account. I missed the fact that she even had her teeth aged! Such attention to detail.

photo credit: WENN and Fame

Gwen Stefani was decked out as Cinderella for a party at Kate Hudson’s house over the weekend. She looks like a little girl playing dress up, complete with heavily applied blue eyeshadow, bright pink blush and pink lips. I have to give her credit for taking the look as far as she did, with stacks of necklaces, an updo with a tiara and a feather purse. She really went all out and she’s not hanging out of that outfit too much either. Bitch loves her makeup though, and she put it on with a trowel here.

Here’s Zooey Deschanel barely trying. At first I thought she was Duchess Kate in that outfit, but her hair is all teased out and she’s carrying that fake martini. Radar is claiming she’s “dressed as a woman from the 60s.” Hopefully she had someone specific in mind. This looks like one of those “group costumes” where everyone dresses up around some loosely formed theme and it’s hard to tell exactly who they’re supposed to be unless you see all of them together. They look like they’re having a bachelorette party. (Update: Thanks to those of you who pointed out that they’re supposed to be Valley of The Dolls characters!)

Nicky Hilton was little Red Riding Hood. That was boring when Kim Kardashian did it last year. This is how you do Red Riding Hood.

David Spade is… a cowboy who fell in some manure?

Casey Affleck was a hunter. At least he dressed up.

Topher Grace either didn’t bother or has a really weak ass costume.

Jessica Alba was a sexy witch. Such a mom costume. Throw on a hat and a wig. It looks like she has a veil with some spiders on it, and she probably tried harder than I’m giving her credit for.

Gwen Stefani owns them all and she knows it. I wonder who her friend is in the hair band costume.

Photo credit: Fame Pictures

As I said yesterday, in the Kim Kardashian versus AnnaLynne McCord post, I enjoy seeing the time and effort some celebrities put into their Halloween costumes. CB is going to be covering Heidi Klum’s well-thought-out and expensive-looking costume momentarily, and I believe Klum is probably the gold-standard of non-Slut-o-ween costumes. And here we have the gold standard of regular Slutoween costumes: Coco. I’m not even looking at Ice-T’s Hannibal Lector outfit. Just look at Coco.

I bet that Coco didn’t even have to buy anything extra for her costume. I bet she had everything already in her closet, right? The fishnets, the corseted bustier thing that defies the laws of gravity. Seriously, how is that staying up? Maybe she bought the devil helmet, which is my favorite part of the ensemble. That thing is seriously cute.

Anyway, Ice and Coco dressed up and partied at LAX Club in Vegas. According to The Mail, “As they arrived at the red carpet event, Ice could barely keep his hands off of his wife of 10 years and Coco lapped up the attention as she pouted and purred in every conceivable pose. But inside the performer took the mic and brought some old school rap to the packed club.” He rapped in his Hannibal mask? Awesome.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I’m honestly not sure how we are not looking at Paz de la Huerta’s vadge right now. Paz was the hostess of the Burlesque Halloween Party at Dusk Nightclub in Atlantic City, New Jersey last night, and she wore this completely boring outfit. Superficially, this is just a boring black dress – Paz looks more costume-y and Halloween-y on a normal red carpet than she does here. But then I looked more closely – the dress is opaque translucent. And she’s not wearing any underwear, from what I can see. So how are we NOT seeing her biscuits? I don’t understand.

Should we talk about Paz’s face? I feel sort of bad singling her out, but I do have a few nice things to say. For one, she doesn’t look blitzed out of her skull. That’s good – that’s an improvement! So, she looks relatively sober, and slightly uncomfortable. I also think she looks like she “tried”. Like, this is Paz “trying” to look presentable, likely because she was being paid for this appearance. And even though she tried, she still looks so, so rough. Poor Paz.

Agent Bedhead sent me this recent morning show interview with Paz – I don’t think I’ve ever seen her interviewed on TV. She’s very… er… she’s like a 13-year-old girl who thinks she’s being very, very mature.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

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It’s super “dead” today, mwahaha so we may as well cover The Today Show mocking the Kardashians over the weekend. When I first started watching this video I assumed that the anchors dressed up as The Kardashians today on Halloween, but they did the Royal Wedding. These were the weekend Today Show hosts.

This shows that the Today Show is willing to make fun of these people and their constant in-your-face promotion, which is surprising to me since Khloe and Kim cohosted the second half of the show just last month. I credit this guy for getting the ball rolling.

There was a preening Khloe, who stood “seven feet tall,” according to red carpet commentator Melissa Rivers, a fake Kourtney toting a little pretend Mason doll, and a Kim lookalike who stuck her ass out and talked about how “huge” her family is. They even did a fake “Keeping up With the Kardashians” promotional video. Throughout it all, the Kardashian kopiers fussed with their hair and made dumb faces. Here’s more on who was who:

The weekend TODAY team celebrated Halloween a bit early this year with a Kardashian red-carpet affair – hosted by the one and only Melissa Rivers!

Lester dressed up in his finest tank top to pull of Bruce Jenner’s Olympic look. He was joined by Janice Huff, who dressed up as Kris Jenner.

Amy was Kim Kardashian and Jenna was Khloe. CNBC’s Melissa Francis joined the gang as Kourtney.

Whose costume was most convincing during Weekend TODAY’s Halloween Extravaganza? Vote on Facebook.
And what does it take to pull off dressing up like the Kardashians? The real-life family gave our anchors some pointers.

[From The Today Show]

The only thing these costumes sorely lacked would be an accurate representation of their pulled, plastic faces. These people look way too normal to be Kardashians. They definitely have the mannerisms and absurdity of this family down, though.

It was clear there were no hard feelings. The Kardashians gave them advice on how to dress up as a K for Halloween. Kim’s deep thoughts: “I think as long as you have three girls together, dark long hair, big booties, lots of lashes you’re good to go.” It’s all promotion for this family, and compared to how they got their start this isn’t embarrassing for them at all. It takes a complete lack of shame to reach that level of famewhoring.

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This is the woman who played Kim, Amy Robach!

Since this is In Touch Weekly, I’m really hoping this story isn’t true. But since it involves Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes spending a ridiculous sum of money to dress up their favorite living doll Suri, I have to think it’s probably 100% accurate. According to ITW, Tom made special arrangements with his own personal princess-costume-maker (I’m joking – or am I?) to make Suri a one-of-a-kind princess dress that she can wear for one special night, Halloween. Not that Suri will just wear it for one night only – if it’s especially pink and frilly (and since Tom is buying, I’m thinking it will be), Suri might even wear that bad-boy for two whole days. Oh, and there are diamonds too.

For most kids, Halloween means a homemade costume or a trip to Target or WalMart. Suri Cruise, on the other hand, is going trick-or-treating as a princess – complete with a custom-made dress and real jewels!

According to a friend, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes spared no expense to make this upcoming Halloween a memorable one for their 4-year-old.

“It’s more than a month away, but Suri already has her fairy-princess gown and will be wearing diamonds with her costume,” explains a friend. The insider says Tom spent more than $6,000 on the dress, which features a tulle skirt and pearl embroidery.

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

So it’s not like the diamonds are built into the dress that she’ll only wear once. From what I gather, the diamonds are a separate styling choice that Suri has chosen to accentuate her princess costume. Can you imagine seeing that when she comes to your door wanting a mini-Snickers? Anyway… yeah, I also believe this because Suri, like lots of little girls, has a big thing for princesses. But, unlike all of those other little girls, Suri’s parents seem to be convinced that she actually needs to act, dress and be a little princess. There comes a point when “harmless kid stuff” just becomes “being a bad parent.” And that point comes when you’re arranging diamonds on your 4-year-old’s Halloween costume.

Tom and Suri and Katie in Prague on Sept. 22, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Several weeks ago, Radar had the only photos of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie taking their older kids out trick-or-treating in Los Angeles. Brad was dressed up like DJ Lance from Yo Gabba Gabba, and Angelina was dressed up as… like, a goth ghoul or something. I’m not sure. The kids were all dressed up, and it was cute. Apparently, it was also expensive. Meaning that Brad declined a $5 million paycheck just so he could trick-or-treat with his kids. I love the Jolie-Pitt kids too, but I would prefer the $5 million, honestly. The kids can trick-or-treat another night. The $5 million offer came from the Grand Prix Ball of Abu Dhabi, and they were going to pay Brad just for showing up as the “guest” of the Tourism Development & Investment Company.

With so many celebrities willing to attend the opening of an envelope if a paycheck is involved, a recent decision by Brad Pitt is especially impressive.

Pitt declined an invitation to the Oct. 31 Grand Prix Ball Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates, and the $5 million payday that came with it, according to Life & Style magazine. Instead, Pitt was photographed trick-or-treating with his kids in L.A.

“He’s spending more time with the family and doing less of these appearances, even though it’s a huge sum of cash,” according to a source who spoke to the magazine.

James Magee, a rep for Global Event Management, confirms that the actor was expected at the affair.

“We were told he would be attending as the guest of the Tourism Development & Investment Company,” Magee told Life & Style. “But he was a no-show, and nobody seemed to know why.”

The ball, which helped raise money for the clean-water charity Fresh2o, was the culmination of a three-day event celebrating Formula 1 racing. Beyoncé, Aerosmith (sans Steve Tyler) and Timbaland all performed.

[From MSNBC’s The Scoop]

God, that sounds boring. You know what’s not boring, though? Five million dollars! Still, I’ll give Brad credit for making family time a priority. His older kids are just at the right age to really have a ton of fun with Halloween. Soon enough they’ll be too cool to hang with their parents, and they’ll be resentfully goth (Pax) or punk (Maddox) or cross-dressing (Shiloh) or building their empire (Zahara). Kudos to Brad.

Here are some nice pictures of Brad in Japan from two weeks ago that we didn’t have access to previously. Credit: Newscom/PicApp.

Kim Kardashian went as Aladdin’s Jasmine for Halloween, if Jasmine were 10 years older, had plastic surgery, and worked in the adult entertainment industry. Kim proudly posted photos of herself in costume on her website, enthusing that she went with a Disney theme for two costumes this year. She basically used Halloween as an excuse to wear a barely-there bikini. Kim has a great body and all, but the bottom just covers her lady bits and her boobs are about to bust out of the top. This is one of the most ridiculous outfits I’ve seen in a long time.

Kim writes on her website:

This Halloween was so much fun!! I decided to go as Princess Jasmine, since I’ve been wanting to go as her for years and found the perfect costume! I went all out with my Disney theme this year and also got a Snow White outfit that I wore to Kendall’s birthday! I’m going to post those pics today too! You’ll have to let me know which outfit you like the best!

[From Kim Kardashian.com]

I did a google image search on Princess Jasmine and she wears a more modest bra top with cap sleeves and full wide-leg pants that go up to her stomach. (Here are two Princess Jasmine costumes for adults that are closer to the cartoon character.) I guess if Kim wore pants and her boobs weren’t about to pop out we wouldn’t be talking about her, though. She wore a still sexy but not as revealing Snow White outfit to her 14 year-old sister’s costume birthday party, so she knows how to keep it semi-classy when she needs to.

Tyra Banks dressed up on her show as Kim Kardashian for Halloween, wearing a long wig and cocktail dress and trailing giant cardboard cutouts of Kim’s sisters. Another minor celebrity chose to pay tribute to the inescapable Kardashian clan this season. Fashion critic Steven Cojocaru dressed up as Khloe Kardashian on her faux rush wedding day, complete with a replica wedding dress. It’s amusing, but still kind of creepy. That’s what Halloween is for, I guess.

Meanwhile Jennifer Love Hewitt also donned a sexy Halloween costume and went dressed as a Playboy Bunny. At least she chose an already-sexy theme and didn’t try to pervert a Disney character. Hewitt’s boyfriend, Jamie Kennedy, posted the pic below to his Twitter account. I hope there’s just something off with the lighting and that Hewitt’s spray tan doesn’t contrast that much with her face.

Photos via ONTD

In case there was ever any doubt, Doug Reinhardt is truly p*ssy whipped. Now I have random bouts of stuffiness, and don’t really care for this particular term. But the only other thing Kaiser and I could come up with to describe it was “hypnotized by the vadge,” “utterly whipped with the power of the vadge” and “hypnotized by the rotting disease of Paris Hilton’s crotch.” All Kaiser, by the way. So use whatever of those works best for you, but let it be known far and wide: Doug Reinhardt is whipped by Paris Hilton. And not in the way a lot of men are. In an extreme way that says, “Paris likes to role-play and keeps me in her dungeon.” There’s whipped, and then there’s this. This is just degrading. I never thought it was possible for me to feel any emotions whatsoever for Doug or Paris. But I truly feel badly for the guy, and I think he’s in a situation he needs to get out of.

Over the course of the weekend, Paris and Doug attended two Halloween parties. A lot of people would repeat their outfits, but not Paris. There are only so many days you get to dress up in one year, and what’s she supposed to do the other 245 days? You gotta seize the event and milk it for its maximum paparazzi potential. Naturally, Paris dressed up as sl*tty Dorothy from the “Wizard of Oz” on Friday night for a visit with Jimmy Kimmel, and as a slutty dancer (I think) the next night.

But here’s the creepy part: She made Doug dress in a nearly identical version of each outfit. And not “identical except masculine.” If there was a skirt, Doug was in a skirt. For her dancer costume, Doug was dressed as the tooth fairy – in coordinating colors. Wearing a crinoline skirt, white stockings, a wife beater with a molar on it, a headband with a big bow, and wings. For Dorothy, Doug was wearing the exact same costume. Just with the addition of a red belt (nice!) a blonde wig, and for some reason his high heels were pink instead of red. Not surprisingly, they got in a huge fight that night.

While the evening started out in a pleasant fashion, everything went downhill for Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt after leaving Heidi Klum’s Halloween party at Voyeur nightclub on Saturday night (October 31).

According to a paparazzo source, the couple then headed to another party at Roosevelt hotel in Hollywood, where they stayed for a few hours.

As the on-again/off-again pair headed back home, photographers following them saw a cell phone flying out the window on the corner of La Brea and Sunset, during which time the limo stopped and Paris jumped out of the car to find her mobile.

Our insider adds that the hotel heiress “went back to the limo with her hands empty – yelling to Doug that she wanted to kill him for throwing her cell out of the car.”

As the limo started moving again and stopped a few blocks away, photographers approached the car to find Paris slapping Doug on the back seat, with Doug finally immobilizing his lady by holding her down before friends quickly tried to block the paparazzi from witnessing the troubling domestic moment.

[From celebrity-gossip.net]

There is some seriously messed up psychology going on here. I’m not even going to try to guess what it is. It’s hard enough figuring out the deep inner recesses of someone’s psyche when they have a normal intellect. But what to you say when they’re clearly totally messed up, but it’s Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt, so there are no deep inner recesses? Whatever it is, it is f-ed up. And there is the slight possibility Doug chose to dress himself like this. But I don’t know a lot of men who like toying with their masculinity that way.

Here’s Paris’ visit with Jimmy Kimmel. The show’s crew dressed up as different characters from Sesame Street. Jimmy dressed up as Big Bird – or “Huge Bird” as Paris classically called him. See, even by the age of three she’d already stopped learning. Paris was hawking her latest line of hair and beauty products. She also brought along one of her little puffball purse dogs as Toto – this time inside a basket instead of a purse – named Marilyn Monroe. She rejected the stuffed Toto that came with the costume because her pup is “hotter and blonder.” She also mentioned that she had “like 20 different costumes custom made.” I’m going to hope she’s exaggerating and/or her number skills are failing her again, but you never know.

Audio Where’s Waldo assignment: try to listen for Paris using the word “philanthropist.” Correctly, no less!

Here’s Paris on Jimmy Kimmel on Friday night – images thanks to Mitch Haddod/ABC. Thanks to BauerGriffinOnline for the rest of the degrading Halloween photos. Note Paris’ flat dead eyes – perfect for Halloween!