She looks like Suze Orman, on drugs, and in a wind tunnel. This is Heather Mills yesterday, as she celebrated the only somewhat profitable part of broke-ass empire – her vegan restaurant, V Bites. For the occasion of V Bites’ first anniversary, Heather did herself up in a psychedelic muumuu and spiked hair. I swear, in every photo of her from this event, her hair is doing something totally different, yet equally crazy.

I have a question – why platinum blonde? Granted, Heather is delusional, and her delusions stretch from her charitable causes to her appearance to her past to her future. So she probably thinks this is a great look. Her best ever.

It does seem like this one investment (V Bites) might pay off, although not a big way. As we told you several months ago, Heather has completely run through her roughly $50 million divorce settlement from Paul McCartney. And she didn’t give it away to charity, either. She bough some properties, she bought this V Bites restaurant, and the rest of it she just blew on vacations and a world-class entourage or hair, makeup and fashion people. And bleach, apparently. The Daily Mail notes that V Bites is doing very well in Sussex (where it’s located) and there are even “Heather Forever” t-shirts being sold in-town. Well, let’s hope she can live on it.

Oh, look – it’s even worse from behind.

Heather in Sussex on July 4, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Is this Heather Mills’ best look? Of course not. But it’s not really her worst, either, and it pains me to admit that. I mean, a 42-year-old woman in a short, tight onesie and thigh-high boots? And yet, somehow she comes close to pulling it off. The Daily Mail is trying to make it seem like this outfit on Heather is catastrophic, labeling it a case of “mutton dressed as lamb”. Of course, I do believe there’s some cameltoe action happening in some of these photos, so maybe Heather should have gotten a better fit?

It’s an oh-so-trendy film featuring the likes of super-cool Britain’s Got Talent acts Flawless and Diversity. So when Heather Mills got an invite to the premiere of StreetDance, it seems she was intent on trying to be as hip as possible for her red-carpet arrival.

The ex Mrs Paul McCartney squeezed into an extremely short, tight playsuit, complete with thigh-high legging-style boots and her blonde locks cropped tight.

It was a customary attention-grabbing effort at London’s Leicester Square as she pouted and played up to the cameras.

Of course for Heather, who has a prosthetic left leg, pulling off the look alone was an impressive feat, keeping it pinned and fastened in all the right places. But dare we say at 42, it was perhaps a bit too youthful for the charity campaigner.

[From The Daily Mail]

Oh, I forgot about her leg! I really did. That prosthetic is so realistic, and with those boots, you can never tell.

The last we heard from Heather, she was admitting that she had already blown through her massive divorce settlement from Paul McCartney in less than two years. Apparently she’s still enough of a “celebrity” to get invited to premieres, so I’ve got to wonder how she’s financing her lifestyle these days. Who is keeping her in onesies and thigh-high boots?

Heather Mills is being sued by a former nanny, Sara Trumble, who claims that Mills forced her to work under degrading conditions and discriminated against her after she took time off for maternity leave. We first heard that Trumble was suing Mills for an undisclosed amount back in December, 2008. At that time, the buzz was over Trumble’s claim that Mills forced her to give her a naked spray tan once a week and that she had to come in to work at 7:30 am every morning to blow dry her boss’s hair. Having failed to reach a settlement, the case is now in court. More details are coming out about Trumble’s work conditions and they’re in no way favorable to Mills. It’s not like we expected anything else from this woman, who has also been sued by her former PR rep and was called “explosive,” and “vile” by the judge presiding over her divorce with Paul McCartney.

HEATHER Mills’ former nanny told yesterday how she was reduced to tears by the diva-like demands of the Dancing on Ice star.

Sara Trumble, 26, described to an employment tribunal how Sir Paul McCartney’s ex-wife left her a “rude” voicemail rant on Mothers’ Day.

It insisted that she make herself available to work – even though she was on maternity leave and had been through a difficult pregnancy.

Sara also claimed she was treated in a “humiliating and demeaning” way in a row over a birthday party – and FORCED to record an interview praising her boss, dubbed Mucca for her sordid porn past.

She also said suspicious Mills, 42, even GRILLED her over whether a new male pal had flirted with her.

Sara, who finally quit after she was replaced as a nanny and given cleaning duties, is claiming damages on grounds of discrimination over maternity leave, sex discrimination and unfair dismissal.

Mills, mum to Sir Paul’s six-year-old girl Beatrice, was left fuming as Sara gave evidence to a panel of three in Ashford, Kent.

She shook her head and hissed “no, no” when Nick Fairweather, representing Sara, urged the tribunal to accept evidence Mills was a known “liar”, referring to her High Court divorce ruling. They dismissed it as “not relevant” to the case.

[From The Sun]

Even if Trumble successfully sues Mills, she might have trouble collecting a settlement. Mills admitted earlier this year that she’s squandered just about all of her $50 million divorce settlement from Paul McCartney. She wasted a fortune in less than two years by maintaining about six different properties and throwing lavish parties and vacations for her entire entourage. A relatively small amount went to charity, which Mills of course exaggerated. How many of her “friends” are going to stick around now that the money is trickling down to nothing?

Thanks to Oxa for the tip! Send tips to info-at-celebitchy.com.

Two weeks ago, The Daily Mail ran a rather sordid expose on Heather Mills’ financial situation, now that a few years has passed on Heather’s approximate $50 million divorce settlement from Paul McCartney. The Mail had several sources that claimed that Heather was running through the money rapidly, spending extravagantly on lavis vacations, personal assistants, beauticians, stylists, trainers, flights all over the world and the best of everything in her half-dozen properties – which, at this point, means that the bulk of whatever fortune she has left is in property. Note: charitable giving was not one of the major expenditures, although there is some proof that Heather gave away around $3 million in the past year. Anyway, some of you thought The Mail was talking out of their asses, but Heather is now confirming that she’s pretty much run through the divorce settlement:

HEATHER MILLS has spent the majority of her £24.3 million divorce settlement from SIR PAUL McCARTNEY – in just 22 months.

The couple separated in 2006 after four years of marriage, leading to an ugly public divorce battle.

The union was officially dissolved in 2008 and the former Beatle was ordered to hand over part of his fortune to Mills, as well as annual payments for the former couple’s young daughter, Beatrice.

But Mills admits most of the cash has now gone.

She says, “Most of it’s been given to charity, gone into ethical businesses or paid for a couple of ­properties for my daughter’s future security. I could never sit with millions of pounds in the bank that could make matters change.”

[From The Daily Express UK]

I can’t even imagine what it’s like to have that kind of money and to spend it all so quickly. Surely Heather is mentally ill? I mean, isn’t this kind of compulsive spending a signal of larger mental problems? Oh, and I don’t buy that “most of it’s been giving to charity”. As many have pointed out, there is little to no proof that Heather gives away even a fraction of what she claims. Her own charities are in financial ruins, and Heather has well-documented delusions, as judged by her tax returns, which revealed that she never gave anything to charity before the year 2000. Now I’ve got to wonder… do you she’ll go to Paul and ask for more money? She’ll say it’s “for Beatrice”. But then she’s “give it charity” probably.

Heather Mills at the National Television Awards in London on February 1, 2010. Credit: Daniel Deme/WENN.com

Remember the epic divorce settlement Heather Mills got from Paul McCartney? It was around $50 million dollars in cash, property and assets, plus an extremely generous monthly child support check. And remember how Heather made such a big deal about how she was giving so much money to charity and how she could support herself, et cetera? Yeah… not so much. The Daily Mail has an exhaustive report that starts out as a sort of editorial about why people hate Heather (she won’t shut up, she’s a narcissist, she’s a liar, she’s a famewh-re), and then it turned into some kind of hard-hitting expose on how Heather has run through more than half of her divorce settlement already, and how the charities Heather works with are in ruins. Here’s the whole article, and here are the highlights (it’s still pretty long, I apologize):

Heather’s divorce settlement gave her two homes and other assets worth £7.8million, a lump sum of £14 million and a further £35,000 a year to help bring up Bea, her daughter with Sir Paul. Surely this huge sum would be enough for the Tyneside-born former underwear model who was once so poor she stole food just to have enough to eat? Apparently not.

According to friends, Heather, 42, is already complaining that she is running out of money. And when it comes to her charities, astonishingly, she is also pleading poverty.

The charity Heather has always been most associated with is No More Landmines. It was her work with it which first led to her introduction to Sir Paul McCartney at a charity event, and he donated £1 million to it soon after they married.

But, I can reveal, No More Landmines folded eight months ago. The charity, which in 2007 held more than £200,000, reported an income of just £285 last year.

In interviews to publicize herself, Heather says many of her charities have suffered because of her poor public image and the best she can do for them is dissociate herself. However, despite the fact No More Landmines has been wound down, it is still heavily plugged on her website as the charity she is most involved with.

Blaming negative media coverage on GMTV earlier this month, Heather – who bizarrely refers to herself in the plural – said: ‘Well, we were in a situation where our charity was virtually destroyed by all of that. We were the largest landmine-clearing prosthetic charity in the world and it got completely destroyed. I can only fund it so far with all of our other charity commitments. So I had to get out and say: “OK, let’s see how this goes.”‘ Not very well for No More Landmines, it seems.

She offered to provide $1million of vegan food to the charity which works in America’s most poverty stricken urban ghetto. Mills became involved with the New York community group when she befriended its founder Maryann Hedaa at a charity function. When she announced the donation, she was given an honorary congressional award. But the charity is still waiting for much of its money. ‘So far, I would say we have been given about $150,000 in cash and another $200,000 of food products,’ says Maryann. ‘I would say we have been given about a fifth of the money so far.’

But Maryann holds faith in Heather: ‘When she offered to help, everyone warned me not to get involved. They said she does not follow through. But I have to say that so far she has really rolled her sleeves up and got involved. She has been pretty amazing.’

But, by her own account, Heather has struggled to pay for what she has promised. Writing on Twitter in August, she said she was renting out her plush £2.5million New York apartment – where Nicole Kidman and Calvin Klein were neighbours -’to fund free café in the Bronx for kids’, adding ‘sad to see it go’.

Heather’s divorce from Sir Paul also showed she had a history for not giving as much to charity as she claimed. During the bitter divorce proceedings, Heather claims she was a millionaire before she met Paul and had always donated 80 to 90 per cent of her earnings to charity. But Mr Justice Bennett, who accused her of being ‘less than candid’ in her evidence, said this appeared to be unlikely.

Heather had been unable to produce records of money sent by her to any charity between 1997 and 2000. He added: ‘Moreover, her tax returns disclose no charitable giving at all.’

His judgment revealed that, although she had promised that her £110,000 Dancing With The Stars fee would go to the animal rights charity Viva!, she actually gave them only £50,000. The reality is that Heather has found more interesting things to spend her money on than charity.

First, there are her homes. Heather got two houses in the divorce settlement. Her main home is a stunning six-bedroom house on Brighton’s millionaire’s row. It was bought for £750,000 in 2001, courtesy of a loan from Sir Paul. It is now worth more than twice as much. She also owns a £3.2 million seven-bedroom house near Paul’s home in Peasmarsh, East Sussex, which was, again, included in the settlement.

From her £14million lump sum, she bought her two-bedroom New York apartment and a £2.4million flat on one of London’s most exclusive roads, The Bishops Avenue, in North London. She recently put the three-bedroom flat back on the market for £3.75million.

Then there is her entourage. Many of Heather’s closest friends have fallen away over the years. All tell the same story – one Sir Paul may recognise. Invariably, Heather is utterly charming at first and her determination in the face of adversity is something to be admired. She is a pro at portraying herself as a do-gooder. But Heather is, undoubtedly, also a fantasist. She is seemingly unable to stop lying – and believing the lies that she tells.

[Meanwhile Heather’s] former hairdresser David Paul is [excoriating]. He started working with her in 2005 and, after she told him she was waiting for Sir Paul to give her a bigger income, David did her hair for free on the understanding that she would pay him when she could. But during the divorce proceedings it emerged she received £350,000 a year from Sir Paul. Plus, he paid all her bills.

David was shocked, as he tells me: ‘I was seduced by her charm. But she was lying to me. I was shocked when I discovered how much money she had coming in when she met me. She hardly paid me anything. What was disturbing to me was that she was pleading poverty at a time when my brother was dying of Aids – and she still lied to my face about not having any money. She has no conscience.’

Many of the friends Heather has left are on her payroll. After winning her divorce settlement, she took 20 of them on a £250,000 holiday to Richard Branson’s Necker Island. Heather’s sister Fiona is the director of many of her companies. Heather’s boyfriend, Jamie Walker, who was a holiday representative, appears to have no other source of income and works as her odd-job man.

She has got rid of her £3,000-a-week security guard, but sports trainer Ben Amigoni is still an almost daily visitor to her house and she has a personal assistant. Beauty therapists and hairdressers are constantly on hand.

Says one acquaintance: ‘Since the trip to Necker, Heather has not made any grand gestures. But there is a drip, drip frittering away of money. A lot goes on flights – she doesn’t get upgraded any more. Hotels are always five star, her houses are always filled with fresh flowers and she has a team of people to support her. I know it sounds ludicrous, but she has started complaining that she doesn’t have enough money – that it is running out. I think Heather thought she would make millions after the split – that she would be the new Larry King with her own chat show. But she is living in a dream world. Heather is a nobody. And that is why she is back in the UK.’

Heather’s biggest expenditure has been her purchase of the successful vegan food company Redwood. Although details of the sale were never released, Redwood’s net worth was £3.1million at the time she bought into it last year. And she already has big expansion plans. At present, although Redwood has a £3million turnover, its profits are pretty modest – in the last accounts they stood at £309,000. Not really a yearly sum that can keep Heather at the rate she is spending.

[From The Daily Mail]

Heather is currently a contestant on Dancing on Ice in the UK, and apparently she’s already promised her winnings to various charities too. She’s also given multiple interviews claiming that she is not, in fact, a gold digging fantasist, but at this point, who believes her? I tend to think that there’s a lot of truth in this report, and I had been wondering who long it would take for Heather to run through her divorce settlement. I’ll tell you something else – money is wasted on Heather. Do you know what I would do with that kind of insane settlement? The mind boggles, for sure, but I would also think it’s really, really tough to spend that much money so fast. You really have to try to spend that money every damn day.

Heather outside the RTE studios in Dublin on January 29, 2010. Credit: WENN.

The Daily Mail had a lengthy interview with Heather Mills over the weekend, most likely to promote her appearance on Britain’s “Dancing on Ice” reality show, which I believe aired last night (Sunday night). I read the interview and decided to cover it because Heather is her usual martyred “there but for the grace of God go I” self, but she actually sounds a little less delusional than usual. Could it be Heather is maturing a tad? She’s got a new boyfriend, you know. She doesn’t talk about him that much in the interview, but I feel for that poor bastard. Here are some of the highlights from the interview (complete piece here):

On competing on “Dancing on Ice” when she‘s already injured herself in rehearsals: “My chiropractor thinks I am completely insane….It was my ribs. My chiropractor examined me, getting a finger under the eighth and ninth ribs and, to his horror, the end of the 11th was jammed between them and had just popped out. He pulled it out, but I was flat on my back for eight days.’ Yeah. Actually, I’d fractured another rib too.”

On her pain tolerance: “I think, after losing my leg, puncturing my lung, crushing my pelvis and splitting my head open [in a road accident in 1993, when she was knocked down by a police motorcycle answering an emergency call], I have a very high tolerance to pain. I have metal plates in my pelvis, which I’d already snapped after giving birth to Beatrice [in 2003], but a bad fall shifted the pelvis out of place, so I had a week on my back and then I could skate again. The ribs weren’t going to stop me either. I just took arnica [a herbal remedy used for pain relief] and got straight back into training as soon as I could.’

On her competitive streak: “With every sport I’ve ever tried, there have been amputees who’ve done it before me, from whom I could take advice. In skiing, for instance, there are people I could talk to about the best legs to use, or the correct alignment. With ice-skating, though, I couldn’t find anyone – which made me even more determined to have a shot myself.”

Why she’s going to suck at ice-skating: “The ankle on my leg can’t bend, so when you try it you just go flying. I had to work out a compromise, though it still means I fall 50 per cent of the time – but I’m fine with that. I’ll probably be the worst skater there, but at least I’ll have given it a whirl. And, obviously, if I get really injured I will bow out.”

Why Heather knows she’s a saint: “I have counseled people from around the world who have lost limbs. I want to show them that they don’t have to limit their choices in life. [I want to inspire those] who might be sitting staring at the telly, afraid to go out and face the world, never mind do anything more challenging.”

On how criticizing Heather equals stupidity: “We shall see just how dumbed down the nation has become, whether they have been able to see through all the negative press about me.”

More Saint Heather stuff: “I speak from the heart and I’m not afraid to get my campaigns noticed by telling it like it is.”

On her relationship to her ex-husband, Paul McCartney: “[We] have worked it out. Everything is amicable. We handle it because we have to. We talk about Beatrice; we go to school plays together. These things are never easy, but we’ve done a great job of keeping Beatrice in a bubble. She does get upset when we get hounded by the press, though. Once, at Heathrow Airport, she went up to one photographer and said, ‘Do you know how disgusting you are upsetting a young child like me?’”

On having a boyfriend, a “former DJ” named Jamie Walker, for 19 months: “I was totally open to it. I stayed single for two years because I didn’t want to bring anyone into my mess.” She won’t talk at length about Jamie Walker, a former DJ, saying she respects his privacy and wants to protect him. All she will say is, “I’m really happy and I don’t want to jinx it.”

On the f-word… “F” for “fantasist”: “Do you know where that word first came from? It was from my mum’s old boyfriend, who was paid to say that about me. It was all lies. I didn’t make up stuff about my childhood. My brother and sister know the truth. If anything, I played it down.”

Is she a golddigger? “It was easy for the media to describe me as a gold-digger, but this is so far removed from who I really am.”

[From The Daily Mail]

For me, the best part was this quote: “We shall see just how dumbed down the nation has become, whether they have been able to see through all the negative press about me.” Where to start with that one, eh? So, only dumb people think Heather is a crazy gold digging liar, while only smart people will accept every word that comes out of Heather’s mouth as the gospel? Or how about this – Heather is appearing on a dumb reality show in which she’s going to attempt to ice skate with her prosthetic leg, all because she wants to see how dumb or smart the British people are? Ugh. Here’s the thing – if Heather were really doing all of this stuff as a way to encourage and inspire other amputees, I would think she was wonderful. But she just likes attention, she likes to put on the martyr act, she loves when people call her names because then she gets to play the victim.

Promotional images of Heather Mills for “Dancing on Ice” courtesy of The London Evening Standard and The Metro.

Paul McCartney, 67, was asked to name his top mistake of the past decade, and when an interviewer brought up his high profile marriage to sociopath Heather Mills he didn’t disagree that it had been a huge mistake. He didn’t exactly dwell on it either though. McCartney had to pay for his mistake, but he says he got “a beautiful daughter out of it” so it’s all good:

SIR PAUL MCCARTNEY has branded his marriage to HEATHER MILLS one of the worst mistakes of his life.

The Beatles legend wed the former glamour model in 2002, but the couple separated in 2006, leading to an ugly public divorce battle.

The union was officially dissolved in 2008 and the veteran musician was forced to hand over $38.9 million (£24.3 million) of his fortune, as well as annual payments for the former couple’s young daughter, Beatrice.

In a new interview with Britain’s Q magazine, MCCartney was asked if getting married again was his greatest error of the last decade and he replied: “OK, yeah. I suppose that has to be the prime contender.”

He adds, “These things happen. I tend to look at the positive side, which is that I have another beautiful daughter out of it.”

[From Contact Music]

I love Paul McCartney and he has such a great attitude. Sir Paul appeared on The Late Show in July and I found him both funny and fascinating. The guy knows he’s a legend but he’s neither full of himself or especially humble. He carries himself with a kind of matter-of-fact grace that doesn’t take his fame too seriously. McCartney has his detractors, but I don’t know how he could have handled himself better during his high profile divorce. His ex wife threw a pitcher of water on his lawyer in court and he stayed quiet about it, smiling slightly as he left the courtroom with his dignified barrister with soaking wet hair. Maybe he was happy because Heather’s temper ended up saving him tens of millions of dollars.

Paul recently talked to the European Parliament about the effect of meat consumption on the environment. He urges people to go vegetarian once a week to help combat global warming. I know I’ve cut back my family’s meat consumption since I learned about how much resources it takes to produce.

Heather Mills, a former US “Dancing With The Stars” contestant and the generally despised ex wife of Paul McCartney, is reportedly set to appear on the UK reality show “Dancing on Ice.” Mills is a scary, deceitful, self-absorbed person by most accounts and judging from her behavior and interviews. She is also involved in several charities and is an amputee. She’ll get some rightful accolades for being brave enough to enter an ice skating competition with a prosthetic limb, just as she did for her stint on “Dancing.” She’s sure to relish the attention as she always does:

Heather Mills will star in the next series of Dancing on Ice, according to insiders on the ITV reality show.

The 45-year-old has apparently ordered a range of prosthetic legs to get practicing with a professional skater before the programme’s official rehearsals start at the end of the year.

The insider revealed: “Heather has often been linked with Dancing On Ice but this year she’s finally decided to do it.

“In typical Heather fashion, she is convinced she’ll be a huge attraction.

“She knows she divides people but there’s never a dull moment with her. Whatever people say about her, she’s certainly entertaining.”

The ex-wife of Paul McCartney is rumoured to be starring alongside former England goalkeeper Peter Shilton and Simon Cowell’s ex girlfriend and X Factor mentor Sinitta.

As usual, it will be presented by Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby when it returns to our screeens in January.

[From Mirror.co.uk]

The UK doesn’t have much patience for this woman because they’re more familiar with her antics. “Dancing on Ice” is scored much like “Dancing With The Stars” in that both the judge’s scores and the public vote counts toward keeping contestants on the show. Maybe Heather will be off the show within a week or two, owing to the public’s lack of good will toward her, or maybe she’ll surprise us and will last much longer. She does deserve some credit for putting herself out there and trying to skate as an amputee. For everything you can say about this woman, she’s definitely not shy. She’s also not going away.

Along with this rumored stint on “Dancing on Ice,” Heather has reportedly signed up to film an episode of another reality competition show with Katie Price aka Jordan. The two will compete in some kind of contest while on the rides at an amusement park. The show, called “Scream If You Know The Answer!”, will air on UKTV and is hosted by Duncan James of the group Blue. James will “give the stars a string of task during a daring day out at Surrey’s Thorpe Park.” My money is on Mills if there’s any kind of trivia involved.

Heather is shown on 8/27/08. Credit: WENN.com

In a way, I owe Heather Mills a debt of gratitude. Every single time I read or write a story, she gives me so many reasons to know I’m superior to her, and that’s nice. I mean yeah it’s good to have self-esteem for its own sake, but hey, if you feel better because you’re reminded of how much someone else sucks, what’s the harm? I’m going to keep telling myself that. So today in clueless Heather Mills news, we have a fashion show. Heather manages to consistently have no understanding why everyone hates her and why they all dislike her baseless smug sense of superiority. Well Heather, I’m here to enlighten you!

Your clothes suck!

Okay, that’s about all I need to say. Really, the pictures do the job beautiful for me. Heather, you see, is a militant vegan. Now before you jump down my throat for that phrase, let me clarify that I am not calling all vegans inherently militant. Just Heather so far. There are all different levels of green living, but Heather is just a step or two away from the eco-terrorist spot. As far as I know she hasn’t set fire to any planned communities or McMansions yet, but I’m still hoping the government is keeping close tabs on her. However since she hasn’t reached that level yet, Heather’s just decided to terrorize us with her horrible, painful, awful, deplorable [whatever other pejorative you’d like to stick in] fashion designs of recycled textiles. All to help animals. Who, by the way, told me they’d prefer it if someone better helped the out. Thanks.

She’s on a one-woman mission to change the world, but Heather Mills may have gone too far with her latest venture. The infamous vegan and animal rights campaigner has just released a new fashion line of recycled and re-modelled pieces. But far from converting people to her cause, the bizarre looking clothes could drive them back into the arms of big business. Instead of producing a wearable covetable collection, Ms Mills’ range, called Be@one, looks more like the fancy dress found at the back of a charity shop.

A fuchsia pink corset dress with garish ruffles would look at home at a children’s party rather than a cocktail party. While a pair of ‘high-waisted trousers for the office’ are more suited to a clown’s day job, not your normal office job. Heather debuted her new collection at the Celebrity Catwalk event in Hollywood last night. The annual star-studded evening sees a number of celebrities give up their time and talents, and take to the catwalk to raise funds and awareness of animal rights. Heather, 41, also collected an award at the event for animal activism. The ex-wife of Beatle Paul McCartney chose to launch Be@one at the event, but it’s not yet known how Hollywood’s greatest interpreted the collection.

On her website, Heather describes the restyled clothes as ‘inspirational’. ‘Society throws away over a million tones of clothing and textiles into the rubbish bins annually. Many of these items could be resold or remade into something new and exciting,’ she writes. ‘The collection consists of women’s and menswear, designed for the assertive, fashionable and eco-conscious person. All the fabrics used in the pieces have been carefully sourced and remodeled into something unique and highly wearable.’

Although her definition of ‘highly wearable’ seems odd when you actually see the clothes themselves. In addition to the garish corset dress and clown trousers, Heather has designed a recycled white lace evening gown, which looks more like a bedraggled wedding dress. She’s also turned out a figure-frumping black knee-length jumpsuit, which is slashed from thigh to knee. Not to mention a purple skirt/black top combo which can only be described as Frankenstein-inspired.

Eager to inflict her curious brand of fashion onto the public, Heather says there will be two collections a year from Be@one. But judging from the first outing, we’re not sure there will be a great deal of fans clamouring for a second onslaught.

[From the Daily Mail]

Hmm… I actually like the idea of this. Our society on the whole is far too quick to toss things. We buy everything super cheap, then it breaks, then we replace it with another super cheap version, which then breaks, and we keep on replacing it, forever in this cycle that’s terrible for the planet. Instead, why not invest in a decent, well-made item to begin with?

And no one mends their clothes anymore. Again, because everything’s so cheap, why not just buy another? People only put the effort into fixing something when it cost more to begin with. Sometimes I really hate it, but I do agree with Heather. But that doesn’t make me like her anymore. In fact it makes me hate her even more, because I feel like a hypocrite, just because she’s involved with it. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: whatever your cause, Heather Mills is the last person you want promoting it. Think of the most reviled people in the world. Let’s say there 300. Heather’s probably at 263. Not number one, but she’s on the list. Do you really want her telling people to eat your bean burgers? Just a word of advice to the animal charities out there.

The Daily Mail did a pretty good job of explaining why the clothes suck. I can’t really expound on it anymore. Your eyes work, you can see. Even if you’re not a fashionista it obviously jumps off the page and down your throat. More reasons why we hate you Heather.

Today’s multiple-choice question: Heather Mills is: A) delusional B) crazy C) a stalker D) a megalomaniacal narcissist E) a horrible mother F) a whiner G) all of the above. If you chose G, congratulations, you’re reading yet another story about Heather Mills’ insanity. Just in the past few months we’ve gotten to hear Heather: complain about her $33.6 million divorce settlement (“we earned it together, I worked my butt off doing the tours and everything”); wishing karmic cancer on her enemies; and making sure everyone knows Paul McCartney’s youngest listens to the Beach Boys, not the Beatles.

Heather’s latest is two-fold. First, it seems Heather might be stalking her ex-husband, Paul and his new girlfriend Nancy Shevell. Sources tell the Daily Mail that Paul is “annoyed” because Heather keeps showing up at events that Paul and Nancy are already attending, and because Paul thinks Heather is “treading on his turf” with the whole vegan-restaurant thing. And don’t even get me started on the vegan-brainwashing Heather’s pulling on Beatrice:

Despite their acrimonious divorce, Heather Mills can’t keep away from Sir Paul McCartney. The former model has infuriated Sir Paul, 67, by jetting to the Hamptons where he is on holiday with his American girlfriend Nancy Shevell, 47.

‘Heather turned up at some big social functions which annoyed Paul,’ says a source.

The former Beatle is also said to be irritated that Heather is ‘treading on his turf’ by wanting to open a vegetarian restaurant in New York while he is promoting ‘Meat-Free Monday’ in the US.

Since her divorce, selfless Heather has become a full-time animal rights campaigner, tireless in her devotion to the cause. She has opened a vegan cafe, VBites, in East Sussex and even turned her five-year-old daughter with Sir Paul into a mini campaigner.

In an interview with ES magazine she explained how Beatrice had tried to convert fellow guests to veganism on a recent holiday to the south of France.

‘Beatrice questions everybody who eats animals,’ Heather revealed.

‘When we were in the south of France, there was a buffet for kids, and by the end of the week no one would sit near us because she would go over and say, “Why are you eating that cow’s bottom?” or “Oh, look at that little shrimp with little eyes.”‘

[From the Daily Mail]

I realize that vegetarianism and veganism can be perfectly healthy and great alternatives to the omnivore lifestyle/choice. And given that both of Beatrice’s parents don’t eat meat, the chances were pretty good that little Bea wasn’t going to ever have a very meaty diet at any point in her life, even if Heather wasn’t so crazy and she and Paul had stayed together. What bothers me is the brainwashing of this child. Does Heather not want Bea to choose veganism or vegetarianism for herself? And does Heather have to take such pride in raising a child who accosts strangers about eating meat? It’s not cute, it’s not sassy, it’s just rude and unpleasant. It pains me to think that Bea is turning into her mother. But Bea is still young. When she rebels against her mom, it’s going to be with steak tartare and Abbey Road.

Heather Mills is shown out in Soho, NY on 7/30/09. Credit: CWNY/Fame Pictures