Lock up your cows: Heather Mills and her bovine mouth really are moving to the U.S. The former Mrs. Paul McCartney has purchased a $5 million condo in the West Village on Perry Street. What a disgusting, disgusting thought. I’m not 100 percent positive, but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to stable a cow in an apartment building in Manhattan.

I’m not calling Mills fat, but that jaw of hers unhinges in this dramatic fashion – and at a very unseemly angle – when she’s angry (which, let’s be honest, is about 90% of the time she talks), and it makes her look just like a cow chewing its cud. Ironic for a vegan, no?

Heather Mills has splashed out over £2.5 million on a New York apartment.

The former model – who won £24.3 million in her divorce settlement from Beatles legend Sir Paul McCartney – will be living in the same exclusive area as fashion designer Calvin Klein and actress Nicole Kidman.

A real estate expert said: “It’s a very special property. She will have important neighbours.” The apartment is in the prestigious 173 Perry Street block, designed by architect Richard Meier.

It is located in the city’s West Village area and lies just half a mile from a store owned by Heather’s ex-stepdaughter, fashion designer Stella McCartney. British-born Heather will live in the apartment with her four-year-old daughter Beatrice, from her marriage to Paul.

[From Female First]

Supposedly Heather is moving to New York because she is tired of the way the London press treats her. Always the victim, no? Heather’s completely unaware that the press hates her because of her horrible attitude – and if she doesn’t change that, New York won’t be any kinder to her.

Now that I know Heather’s address, I plan on parking myself outside her building wearing a sandwich board that says “Eat Heather Mills, Not Cows,” on it. She really can’t argue with it; my message is still vegan-friendly.

Here’s Heather Mills at the ‘Thank the Monkey’ Book Party at the SoHo Grand in New York on April 26th. I really wish there were more information on the last photo; I can’t even imagine what’s going on there. It seems Heather’s trying to ingratiate herself to New York City. Good luck. Images thanks to WENN.

I think it is pretty safe to say that Heather Mills’ 15 minutes of fame is up – her ex-husband can’t stand her, her neighbours can’t stand her, and now it seems the charities she supports have had enough of her too.

The former model was due to talk about the cruelty of puppy farms at a New York party in support of a book about animals, but launched her verbal assault on guests when they continued to speak over her.

She reportedly ranted into the microphone: “Listen up at the back. I haven’t been up for 24 hours and flew here from London to be ignored.”

Later in the evening, she is also said to have complained about the reception she received, saying: “People go to these events, have a drink and leave.”

New Zealand Herald

Heather, the guests might stay longer if you didn’t talk to them. Just an idea.

It’s probably a shame for the charities she supports that her ‘career’ is over, although it doesn’t seem to me that they were getting much benefit from her patronage. I’m not exactly sure what is was that she did before marrying Sir Paul McCartney, except for hanging around at charity events hoping to go home with a wealthy philanthropist. Unfortunately for Heather, her last marriage didn’t pay as much as she might have hoped and she’s back looking for another millionaire to sink her teeth into.

Heather has just written a 64-page lifestyle book. Apparently it isn’t titled ‘How To Be A Gold-digger’ but is actually about health and a vegan diet.

Heather Mills is shown “at the book launch party for ‘A Rare Breed of Love’ by Jana Kohl” in NY on 6/3/08, thanks to WENN.

There are some celebrities that have really earned their fame. And there are some that have lived amazing lives, overcome adversity, or have become immensely powerful and influential. I’m thinking of the Oprahs of the world. But there are lots of famous people who have something to say. Yet it seems like the ones who should shut the crap up are the most likely not to be able to shut their bovine-esq jaws. That’s right, I’m talking about Heather Mills. You know whenever I reference a cow chewing its cud, we’re talking about Heather.

The former Mrs. Paul McCartney – who has neither earned her fame nor lived an amazing life – is writing a lifestyle book, packed with helpful tips so you, too, can be just as successful, happy, and respected as Heather.

Heather Mills has taken her promotion of veganism to another level in her new book, a healthy living manual.

In the 64-page book entitled Get Healthy with Heather, the 40-year-old former wife of ex-Beatle Sir Paul McCartney dispenses advice on how to live a stress-free life, including swapping to a vegan diet.

Heather said: “Spring is in the air and this is a time for change, regeneration and new beginnings. We all know sometimes that life’s problems can be quite overwhelming so it’s really important we learn to relax properly and iron out those everyday stresses and strains.”

Packed with motivational quotes and tips from Heather, the book advises on the best way to move to a vegan diet.

[From Stuff]

No word on whether Heather will disclose her secret explanation of how she unhinges her jaw at that angle to make that face of hers. I understand where Heather in coming from, in terms of the vegan thing. The English countryside is filled with pastures. Cow-filled pastures, in fact. What if Heather happened to be ambling along one day, just talking – not even chewing, but talking – and some ravenous meat-eater saw her gaping maw and mistook her for cattle? Her life could be in serious jeopardy. Heather’s often said she’s afraid for her safety; I think we’ve likely figured out why. She’s just trying to save her own hide. Or face.

Here’s Heather’s mouth at the Farm Sanctuary Gala 2008 at Cipriani’s Wall Street in New York on Saturday. Images thanks to WENN.

In case you needed more reason to dislike Heather Mills, here’s another one. She, who of all people should know how important prosthetic legs are, has reneged on her promise of £10,000 to supply a pair to a Russian train accident victim. Maria Rybkina was befriended by a British couple named Inna and Robin Barrett, who decided to help her raise funds for prosthetic legs.

After trying to raise funds themselves the Norwich couple contacted Mucca’s amputee charity—and were stunned to get a personal call back.

Robin recalled: “She said brightly, ‘Hello, this is Heather Mills-McCartney’. We spoke for a long time.

“Heather said she would personally get Maria some really good artificial legs, which would cost around £5,000, and cosmesis—the silicone cosmetic covering—which would be another £5,000.

“She promised she would also provide all the medical support needed to get her walking again. She told us that because her charity only helped victims of landmines, she would support Maria from her own personal finances.”

Mucca, 40, then met Maria in Moscow, during a visit to Russia with Sir Paul, who was playing a concert in St Petersburg.

Afterwards Mucca sent Robin an email saying: “I will pay for Maria’s costs agreed in advance and paid directly to the clinic. Please email me the price.” In another she said: “Email me costs individually and I’ll get money to you.”

News of the World

Heather never made good on the cash.

The good news is that eventually Maria did get a new set of legs after the Barratt’s raised £5,000, including £2,000 of their own money, for a set of uncovered prosthesis.

While I understand that Heather has undergone some very stressful times lately, with her long divorce and heavy television schedule, it is really awful to promise someone that you will help them with something they so desperately need, and then not follow through with the promise.

Heather lost her own left leg below the knee in a traffic accident.

While looking for information of Heather I stumbled across this article in the London Times, where Chris Terrill (Heather’s first fiancé) writes an open letter to Paul McCartney, where he talks about her ‘elastic relationship with the truth’ and how she left him for Sir Paul 6 days before their wedding, telling her friends that Chris was gay. Interesting reading.

Heather Mills is shown at Heathrow Airport on 4/22/08, thanks to WENN.

Heather Mills might be annoyed that she only received $40 million in her divorce settlement – hardly enough to keep her in multiple homes, staff and the latest couture, but she did get a payday higher than most lottery jackpot winnings. One of the high paid hookers who used to work with Mills recently gave an interview for British television in which she says Mills planned to leave McCartney if he didn’t marry her, and that she bragged about giving the former Beatle an ultimatum. She also put down McCartney to her former co-hooker, calling him “an old man” with “big tits”

Denise Hewitt, who worked as an escort with Heather in the Eighties, said the former model spoke openly in the early stages of their relationship of plans to push Sir Paul to propose.

Miss Hewitt, who revealed her friend had been determined to marry the former Beatle, also lifted the lid on claims about the months the pair allegedly spent working as £10,000-a-night prostitutes.

In an interview to be aired tonight on Channel 4, Miss Hewitt claimed: “She said, ‘I’ll give him an ultimatum and if he doesn’t marry me within say eight months, ten months, I’m going to leave him’.”

She said Heather had made disparaging remarks about her future husband’s age, saying: “Well look at me, I’m marrying an old man with bigger tits than me.”

[From The Daily Mail]

Mills’ former friend also talked about how they would sleep with wealthy middle eastern royalty and receive expensive gifts along with their customary $20,000 a night fees. It’s clear how Heather honed the skills that helped her get her scheming hooks into Sir Paul:

Miss Hewitt, 44, said: “We went into high class prostitution behind closed doors and nobody knew about it…[Adnan] Kashoggi, Kerry Packer and one of the Royal princes of Saudi, they were the big fish and there were a couple of others that were classed as Heather’s sugar daddies.

‘We used to get a lot of jewellery as gifts – rings, watches, Bulgari bracelets, cars. The world was our oyster. We enjoyed it.

‘No one knew what we did and we didn’t expect it to come out. I don’t look on it as sleazy. It was experincing something we couldn’t have experienced if we hadn’t done this.

[From The Daily Mail]

Paul McCartney learned the hard way that Heather Mills was a deceitful manipulative woman, but he probably figures he got off easy. $40 million is less than 5% of his net worth, by some estimates, and he probably would have paid much more to be rid of the harpy if he had to. Now everyone pretty much knows she was a sex worker as well as a liar. If the stories that came out about her when she first separated with Paul seemed too far-fetched, Heather’s actions generally make it seem like they’re true – even without witnesses.

Heather Mills is shown at the Miss USA Competition on 4/8/08, thanks to PRPhotos.

Someone seems to be trying to say something nice about Heather Mills here – but they don’t quite pull it off.

The former glamour model won a $50 million divorce settlement from the former Beatle last month (Mar08) and has since spent time in the U.S. judging the Miss USA beauty pageant – fitting in a visit to the Big Apple during the same trip.

And Mills was reported to be viewing properties in the prestigious Greenwich Village area of the city.
But now the 40-year-old’s representative Michelle Elyzabeth has hit back at the rumours – declaring that Mills can’t afford a New York home.

She says, “She doesn’t have that much money. It’s a lot of money to a regular person, but once you want to start supporting good causes, that money goes really quick.”

Contact Music

So, Heather loves charitable causes so much, that was why she was hankering for the cash from Sir Paul. I think even the most glamour-loving of us could probably afford to spend a bit of a $50 million fortune on an apartment. Maybe Sir Paul will even pay for it himself – anything to have Heather permanently stationed on the other side of the Atlantic ocean. Until now he probably hasn’t appreciated how far that really is.

I also sort of get the impression that her publicist is hinting that $50 million wasn’t a very generous divorce settlement, particularly given that Heather isn’t a ‘regular person’. What does that mean?

Heather has in the past been contradictory about moving to the United States – first saying she’d like to move to LA, then saying she couldn’t move Beatrice away from her father, before apartment shopping in Greenwich village.

Of course, there is one way that Heather could get some money for charitable causes that wouldn’t dip into her hard-earned divorce money – get a job and earn it. You’ve said in the past that you aren’t a gold digger – prove it!

“Eighty-five percent of my income goes to my charity. The word gold digger doesn’t go with that. If I was a gold-digger, I would have a lot of money in my bank account. I’d be worth millions and millions.”

She also says she didn’t marry McCartney for his money: “I’m a good mother. I’m a good person. I fell in love for the right reason. I fell in love unconditionally.”

Despite her reputation, Mills says she’s received an outpouring of sympathy. “I have had so much public support,” she says. “People hugging me in the streets. I didn’t know that many people cared. You get to know who your friends are and I haven’t lost any friends.”

[November 2006 interview with Extra, via People]

Maybe the issue is that no co-op board will have her in their apartment.

I was kind of confused when I read The Daily Mail’s story that claims that much-hated divorcee Heather Mills was booed when she was introduced as a judge at the Miss USA Pageant. I watched virtually the whole thing and there was no booing of Heather that I could hear, and if there was I would have jumped all over that. The Mail reports that “But the night went from bad to worse for the 39-year-old, was later booed and jeered as she was introduced on the judging panel.” They also point out her “wonky cleavage,” and that observation is spot on, but there was no booing.

Here’s the clip where Heather was introduced. She looks like an idiot with that winking thing, but the crowd actually cheers. You can compare this to the cheering for the rest of the judges in this linked full clip of the judge’s panel introduction and the crowd wasn’t that enthusiastic for her, but again there was no jeering or anything.

Heather later had a subdued exchange with emcee Donny Osmond, and she kept talking a little when he tried to move on, but she was really quite unoffensive for her:

The Daily Mail makes shit up all the time, but they should stick to stuff that’s hard to verify or subjective, like those skinny knees they’re always pointing out on slow news days. I wish people would have booed her and thrown ripes tomatoes at her head, ruining her fussy hair and causing her to stand up and launch into a 10 minute diatribe about how she’s always a target, but that doesn’t meant that it actually happened.

The American public probably doesn’t care enough about her to bother booing, and that’s got to be more of an insult to Heather in the long run. At least the British press is keeping the feud going so she’ll have something to live for now that she has tens of millions of dollars and her divorce battle is over. That must be a letdown for someone who thrives on fighting for things she believes in, like her right to have the adulation of the public and hundreds of millions of dollars for a few years of marriage.

Miss USA 2008 Crystle Stewart
I watched most of the Miss USA Pageant and it looked like it went off without a hitch. Donnie and Marie Osmond hosted, and the show was modern and entertaining enough to add some moderate interest to the outdated beauty pageant fare. Controversial divorcee Heather Mills, fierce Project Runway winner Christian Siriano, and celebrity hairstylist Ken Paves were among the judges. They tried to keep it fresh with backstage footage and off the cuff chats with the judges and contestants, and the music and competition segments were good, but there’s only so much you can do to make a beauty pageant entertaining. There weren’t any technical issues or big slip ups by the contestants.

Judge Christian Siriano added some of his trademark flair to the show. During the unprepared question and answer period, a judge was drawn from a hat to ask each of the top 5 contestants a question. Siriano asked Miss Oklahoma which famous person she’d most like to help to better themselves and she predictably answered “Britney Spears.” Siriano smiled wide, and you know that’s the answer he had in mind as he’s said publicly that he wants to help Britney too. This was one of the less articulate answers by a contestant, which makes it more fun to watch:

“As of right now, I’d like to pick Britney Spears. Because I’d really like to help her with her self confidence and help her believe in herself, and get over whatever she’s going through right now so she can strive on going to the next deal.”

The winner was Miss Texas Crystle Stewart, a 26 year-old African American college graduate and entrepreneur who runs a party planning and motivational speaking company. Her answer during the judges questions was the most well spoken:

Question from Judge #9, San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman: “In some countries when you turn 18 you’re required to spend a year in the military. Do you think that should be enforced in our country?”

Miss Texas, Crystle Stewart: “I don’t think it should be enforced. I think you’re talking about the draft in our country. I think it should be a choice. We have people there in Iraq right now fighting for our country and it was their choice and I really appreciate that. It should be a choice.”

Here are clips from the show. There wasn’t a talent competition unfortunately. Only Miss America includes the talent competition.

Swimsuit Competition, Finger 11 plays in the background:

Top 10 contestants are picked from a lineup of women in their swimsuits:

Evening gown competition:

Pre-arranged Q&A with the top five contestants:

Judges questions for the top 5 contestants:

Miss Texas is crowned:

And in the brief instance where Heather Mills had a chat with host Donnie Osmond, she managed to remain calm and surprisingly soft spoken:

The judge in Heather Mills’ divorce case mentioned in his ruling multiple times that she was less than believable, and called her “distasteful,” “explosive,” and “volatile,” explaining how she failed to make a case that she was owed hundreds of millions. According to Heather it was Paul’s lawyer who wronged her, and she tried to make her point by dumping a jug of water over her on the last day in hearings. Outside of court that day, after having doused Paul’s lawyer Fiona Shakelton, Mills said “she has called me many, many names before meeting me when I was in a wheelchair.”

Now Mills is explaining her childish antics, and bragging about how great it was on an interview with Britain’s GMTV this morning. She even took a dig at Shakelton’s age:
“I cleansed and baptized her. I thought she looked fantastic – I thought it did her the world of good and now I’m getting lots of offers to restyle the hair of women of her age.” [via The Huffington Post]

And Mills couldn’t resist talking about her ex husband’s love life. McCartney was most recently spotted vacationing with his new girlfriend, American Nancy Shevell, in Antigua. He has also been linked with American actress Rosanna Arquette:
“I think he’s got three different girlfriends so I wish all the girls the best of luck. Better them than me.”

Mills is also fighting for transcripts of the court hearings to be released, hoping that it will air her grievances against Paul in a more efficient manner. She calls the coverage of her divorce “one sided.”

Just when you thought this woman couldn’t get any more annoying, someone gives her a platform and she takes it, flailing around and yelling at the top of her lungs. She’s like the paranoid village idiot of the media age. Everyone is out to get her, she’s always right, and she’ll tell you about it ad nauseum, creating general amusement for all.

To say that Heather Mills doesn’t know the meaning of graciousness would be quite the understatement. But clearly the vindictive woman (with a mouth that looks like a cow chewing its cud) has decided that she’s going to make every second of ex Paul McCartney’s life as miserable as she possibly can, even if she has to use their daughter to do it. As long as Heather’s making people miserable she’s happy, and that’s all that really matters. Heather’s been forced to let Sir Paul take daughter Beatrice, 4, on vacation next week to a lovely hotel in Morocco. But of course she couldn’t let a nice time just be a nice time.

Fussy Heather Mills has issued an amazing list of dietary demands for daughter Bea while she is on holiday with Sir Paul McCartney. She has faxed the five-star La Gazelle d’Or hotel in Morocco – where Macca plans to take the four-year-old next week – with EIGHT pages of instructions on what she can and can’t eat.

Heather, 40 – who recently won a £24million settlement from Sir Paul, 65 – is adamant that Bea’s strict vegan regime should be maintained. A source said: “Paul booked the break for some quality time with Bea. Now he’s found out that Heather has been driving the hotel staff mad, faxing both the head chef and manager instructions and recipe suggestions for Bea. Paul is furious. He is perfectly capable of looking after his own daughter – especially after successfully bringing up his other children on vegetarian diets.”

[From the Mirror]

Since Heather couldn’t be there in person to ruin the day, it seems that she’s relying on technology to do the job for her. It’s hard to say if she’s just freakishly controlling (obviously she is) or if she’s actually trying to be a total bitch. That’s probably a good question to ask about Mills in general. Is she trying to be such an annoying, bitchy, universally hated woman, or is it just who she is and she honestly has no clue? Either way, when a person is so controlling that she starts fax-lecturing the staff of a hotel on how to do their jobs to her specifications, it’s time someone figure out a way to muzzle the cow.

Here’s Heather Mills at her divorce hearing on March 17, 2008. Not that you’d want to see a lot of her – but she’s making some sort of hideous expression with her mouth in each and every photo. I literally could not find one photo from that day where her mouth and jaw weren’t in some bovine-esq shape. Maybe she should try closing it once in a while. Images thanks to PR Photos.