Have you noticed that there are much fewer stories about Lindsay Lohan lately? A story in People made it abundantly clear that she’s completely fallen off the wagon. While the gossip magazines and sites covered it, it was barely a blip on our radar. She’s living with a woman and we covered a story that she yelled at Ashley Oslen for trying to talk to her girlfriend, saying “Get your 15-year-old Full House ass away from my girlfriend,” but it only got 7 comments. It’s not like anyone really cares about her at this point. Good for her for staying in a relatively long term relationship even if she’s insanely jealous and drinking again.

The stars of faux reality show “The Hills” get more press coverage than Lohan, and that’s really saying something. Over the weekend there was a story that she drink Shirley Temples and seemed to abstain from alcohol while at a gig her girlfriend, DJ Samantha Ronson, played in Las Vegas on Friday, but with Lohan you never can tell if she’s sneaking vodka into her drinks. Nor does anyone particularly seem to care.

Here she is at the Launch of the Scarlet HD TV Series yesterday, looking rough and awkward in that dress. Also shown are Heidi Montag and Spencer Prat, Emmy Rossum, Kristin Cavallari, Lauren Conrad, Tila Tequila, Vanessa Marcil, Bai Ling, and Travis Barker. Thanks to PRPhotos.

Even if you’re not a fan of the current president, it’s an incredibly big honor to be invited to the White House Correspondents Gala. Even if you’re a really, really dumb person, you generally know this. But if you’re Heidi Montag – or worse, Spencer Pratt – you don’t care about any of that because you are much, much bigger than any stupid little gala. And she calls herself a republican.

Heidi was recently invited to attend the gala by MSNBC. I have no idea why. Several media outlets do invite celebrities – though normally ones that aren’t quite as D list as Montag. However Spencer Pratt got involved and started making all sorts of ridiculous demands for both him and Heidi – even though he wasn’t invited. And that, of course, was the death of another opportunity for Heidi Montag at the hands of Spencer Pratt.

President Bush will have to make do on Saturday without the company of Heidi Montag, star of MTV’s “The Hills.” The surgically enhanced blonde backed out of the White House Correspondents gala when she couldn’t get expenses paid for her Svengali-like boyfriend, Spencer Pratt.

MSNBC had invited Montag to be a guest at its table at the Washington Hilton. “Then Spencer got involved as her manager,” a source told Page Six. “He demanded first-class tickets for both him and Heidi – even though he wasn’t invited.” When the network balked, Pratt canceled Montag’s appearance, claiming, according to our source, “It wasn’t ‘A-listy’ enough.”

A rep for MSNBC denied the reality show star had ever been invited, saying, “We are not having, nor did we invite, any celebrities to sit at our table.” However, a rep for Montag and Pratt said, “There was a scheduling conflict so they couldn’t make it – but they always travel together.”

[From Page Six]

I would really love to see Spencer Pratt’s face when all of his demands get laughed at. I know it happens pretty often – because he never seems to be able to learn from his mistakes and understand that he’s an absolute nobody – but I would really love to see his reaction. Is it anger? Shock? Confusion? And how in the world does he justify the hatred and disgust the world feels for him?

Heidi Montag is pretty much a nobody too – but she had some vague, tiny chance of shooting up to the C list. Unfortunately she’s got that delusional boyfriend tagging along, and his bizarre and unearned sense of entitlement has ruined whatever shot Heidi ever had. Probably time to take off the bikini top and pimp out those “surgical enhancements” while you still have a shot Heidi.

Here’s Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt leaving STK restaurant on Tuesday. Images thanks to WENN.

There are many things that I would feel comfortable calling Heidi Montag. Idiot. Embarrassment. Nitwit. Someone with an unexplained ego. I really don’t think it’s necessary for the rest of the world – let alone the freaking New York Times – to compliment Heidi in any way. She’s already full of herself already and doesn’t need the encouragement to further bloat her ego. Or God forbid that of Spencer Pratt, who I’m sure will somehow manage to take credit for the New York Times calling Heidi Montag… wait for it… a “feminist hero.” I’ll just chill here while you clean the vomit up from your floor. Don’t feel embarrassed, same thing happened to me.

What’s Heidi Montag’s reaction to being hailed as a “feminist hero” in The New York Times’ review of The Hills?

“I was very honored to be called a feminist hero,” Heidi tells In Touch. “It’s a big deal to be even acknowledged, let alone complimented by The New York Times by such a profound, famous TV critic.” Her boyfriend, Spencer Pratt, was also a fan of Ginia Bellafante’s review — even though it praised Heidi for refusing to acquiesce to his demands. “Spencer was ecstatic,” says Heidi. “He’s proud of whatever I do.”

The 22-year-old aspiring singer and Heidiwood fashion designer says she considers herself a feminist (“I definitely do!” she exclaims), but was less forthcoming when asked who her own feminist heroes were. “Who are my feminist heroes?” she asked. “ Um… I’ll get back to you on that one!”

[From In Touch]

After consulting Spencer, who called a friend to look up some names on Wikipedia, Heidi reported that her feminist heroes were Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan. But then Spencer changed his mind and decided Heidi actually preferred bell hooks over Friedan. New York Times’ TV critic Ginia Bellafante’s comments on Heidi aren’t quite so flattering when read in their original context – though they’re certainly not an insult either. But Heidi might want to actually find a copy of the newspaper before she puffs her chest so far out. Oh wait, that’s just the implants. That she got for Spencer.

Defying our expectations, Heidi has emerged as a kind of feminist hero this season, climbing her way to a bigger position at the event-planning company where she orchestrates Nascar parties, and refusing to acquiesce to the demands of her fiancé, Spencer, that she get herself home on time. Her career-mindedness sets their relationship off course. Heidi identifies the problem with no name: a boyfriend who sits around an apartment decorated to look like an ’80s video arcade while trying to deny Heidi a real wedding with the glory of registering. Her groundswell of self-assertion begins when he insists on eloping, prompting Heidi to declare, “This isn’t, like, Spencer’s relationship and you decide what we do.”

[From the New York Times]

Ooooohhh, deep. Gloria Steinem just pumped her fists in the air and burned a bra in Heidi Montag’s name. I don’t think Heidi’s standing up to Spencer about their wedding was about asserting her rights and not being manipulated by a douche bag, I think it was about the desire to throw a ridiculously large party and try to out-do her friends. But if someone wants to make that sound bigger and better than it is, so be it. I’m just worried this might inflate Heidi’s ego to the point that she releases another song. Or worse, a video.

Here’s Heidi and Spencer at Perez Hilton’s Quinceanera at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel on March 22. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Heavy.com has taken word for word transcripts from scenes from MTV faux reality show “The Hills” and had them reenacted with senior citizens representing the three main characters. The result is hilarious and helps reveal how dumb and staged the dialog can be.

From what I’ve seen of this show, these reenactments aren’t far off:

“Over The Hills” reenactment: “Forgive and Forget” with Lauren and Heidi
Part of “The Hills” original “Forgive and Forget” clip

And here’s another one. The scenes with Spencer are the most ridiculous.

Spencer proposes on the beach, telling Heidi he doesn’t know which hand the ring goes on.
There are more videos at Heavy.com. I don’t get the appeal of this show, but I guess it’s like a semi-real soap opera and it certainly is popular enough.

Cast member Lauren Conrad confirmed in an interview a few months ago that many of the scenes on “The Hills” are re-filmed after the events, but she said that “this is my life” and that “Basically what they’re doing is taking our lives and telling a story.”

Heidi Montag released another song and it’s so beautiful and haunting, I can hardly contain my enthusiasm. The barbie-looking plasticized chick from The Hills has really shown her critics that she’s capable of a serious music career with her latest song, “No More,” a goodbye to a man that betrayed her. The computerized vocals mixed with a catchy background track combine to achieve new heights in pop music.

Montag said that Internet criticism of her last song made her cry and she posed on a sidewalk looking miserable with a chair and her CD in the presence of a bunch of photographers to prove her point. We’re full of shit in the post obviously. We just don’t want Heidi to smear her mascara on our account.

I was able to listen to about 30 seconds of this, but it made me wince. Maybe you can go longer.

Listen to the song on People.com

People Magazine selectively accepts comments for some stories, and they’re allowing people to leave their thoughts on this one. Many of them are priceless, like “If I can seriously say that I’d rather listen to Paris Hilton you know your stuff is complete crap,” [LNew] and “She likes singing, but that doesn’t make her good at it.” Many people are saying that it’s better than her last song, “Higher.”

I’ve never seen Heidi’s show The Hills, but US Weekly has a clip of it and it looks like a bad soap opera.

Michael Buckley of the popular YouTube entertainment show What The Buck notes that the US Weekly issue earlier this month with Montag saying “I was betrayed” on the cover was a big gyp and only had Heidi and her on-screen boyfriend, Spencer, saying there was some betrayal but refusing to state was it was exactly. He said that US Weekly must be getting paid by MTV to advertise that show.

At least People isn’t afraid to subtly trash Heidi.

The Ryan Seacrest radio show PR people e-mailed me a link to a new song by Britney Spears and Heidi Montag. I was scratching my head over this one. At first I thought it must be a parody, but it seems like a real song featuring these two. It’s not as piss poor as Montag’s earlier efforts, but not as good as Britney’s. It’s bad, forgettable and really repetitive. Whose idea was it to make a song with Britney and Heidi Montag, and why did Britney’s people agree to it? The song is called “Dramatic,” but if you listen to it you’ll realize that it doesn’t really matter what it’s called.

Here’s the link to the song, it will be on YouTube in about five minutes probably.

The Hills reality show star and aspiring singer Heidi Montag has lost her step brother in a freak accident. A veteran of the war in Iraq and Afghanistan, 24-year-old Eric O’Hara was cleaning snow off a roof of a hotel where he worked in Colorado when he slid on some ice and fell off. Montag talked to US Weekly about her step brother’s death, and I hope they cut out the part where she said she was “shocked” and/or “devastated” or that it was “very sad” or “tragic.” Maybe she’s still processing it:

“I just loved him more than anything,” Montag told Usmagazine.com. “He couldn’t wait to meet Spencer.”

“He was very much a brother to me,” she said. “He called me his sister, not his step-sister. He was always like, ‘I love you! I have to meet Spencer and make sure he’s cool to you!’ Just like a brother.”

Montag’s father, Bill, married O’Hara’s mother, Terri, when Montag was 7-years-old. Montag lived with her mom and O’Hara lived with her dad. She saw him every weekend, at holidays and during the summer.

“He was just back [from Iraq] and was ready to go back to school,” Montag explained. “He went up to Steamboat [the hotel where he had the fatal accident] for the weekend where my dad lives.”

“He was just so patriotic,” Montag told Us. “He just really wanted to go there and help and do all that he could for his country. He felt like it was his duty.”

[From US Weekly]

It’s very sad to lose a family member so young. When I first read her comments it struck me that she didn’t sound very broken up over it. That’s not something I think I should judge her on though. It’s possible that she talked with the US Weekly people at length and they cut a lot out and just put in those specific comments.

Who made the decision to put Britney in a song with Heidi Montag though? Britney has been making a lot of progress in her personal life and a duet with Montag doesn’t seem like the best move for her career. OK! Magazine is now reporting this story, and they say that “Details on the collaboration are scant at the moment,” but speculate that it will only help Heidi’s career. Her boyfriend Spencer Pratt said after the negative reception to her premiere video, “Madonna, eat your heart out. Britney Spears, eat your heart out. I would say we have diamond records coming – they’re gonna sell 10-million plus.” Even with Britney on board, he’s probably way off with that number.

Update: Rumor has it that this song was made by Heidi and Spencer without Britney’s knowledge or permission. We’ll have to see what her people say about it.

Update 2: Thanks to reader Jessie for pointing us to an article in US Magazine that came out after we published this. Britney’s people say it was done without her authorization;

A source at Spears’ label, Jive, tells Usmagazine.com, “It’s not authorized and it wasn’t set up in any way and they never spent any time together in the studio. This was never a planned song or duet in any way.”

[From US Magazine]

The Hills reality star and plastic surgery aficionado Heidi Montag’s first music video premiered earlier this week and it was universally panned. It really was incredibly awful, and included shots of the plastic blond frolicking in the ocean in a clinging white garment, rolling in the sand, climbing on some rocks and opening her mouth wide to lipsynch while gesturing awkwardly. And that was just the visuals. The song was nearly intolerable and featured her god-awful remastered voice over a tune as cacophonous and unoriginal as Heidi herself.

People Magazine made a special post noting how overwhelmingly negative the comments were about Montag’s new video, which was filmed by her equally mocked on-screen fiancé, Spencer Pratt, and she handled it in stride. She said that it must take oh so much effort to criticize her, and while she tried to make a dig at all the anonymous people typing away behind computers screens by focusing on the work involved in writing whole sentences, she only managed to make herself sound dumb:

Although some PEOPLE.com readers called “Higher” the “worst video ever,” and said her voice sounds like a “chipmunk,” Montag recorded the following message on the gossip site PerezHilton.com:

“I appreciate people taking time to write any kind of comment. Do you know how much effort it really takes to sit down and write a comment? I’ve never written a comment in my entire life… you really have to have a lot of passion and thought to write any comment, so thank you.”

[From People.com]

Maybe Heidi is impaired by the fact that she doesn’t have a lot of experience with computers, but it really doesn’t take much effort or thought to write a comment if you’re a quick typer. If she came across as clever at all, I would think that she was trying to be sarcastic and say that the comments were effortless and reactive on the part of the people that criticized her, I know a lot of the work I do comes out that way, but no, I think she was trying to be serious. She’s trying to say that it takes work to write comments so at least we’re paying attention to her. We’re wasting our energy by doing that, Heidi is saying, but she’s only making it sound like typing and thinking don’t come easily for her.

The best part of this story is Spencer Pratt’s comment, and again I would think that he’s being obnoxious, but considering that he’s the one responsible for this atrocious video, we can probably take him at his word.

Heidi’s former fiancé Spencer Pratt, who shot the “Higher” video, had his own theory as to why it got the reaction it did.

“She’s so beautiful and she’s an unbelievable singer,” he says. “The quality of music and the music video has never been seen before.”

Here’s that video again, the likes of which “has never been seen before,” according to Pratt. Are they pulling our legs? Even if they’re not, they should save face and claim they were.

I knew there was a reason we’ve actively ignored “The Hills” reality star Heidi Montag and her preening TV “fiancé”, Spencer Pratt, up until now. They really are as hollow and superficial as they look.

Could this music video get any more cliche? It’s so bad I’m inclined to think it’s a joke.
Beach scene – check
Frolicking in the water in clinging white garment – check
Rolling around on the sand in bikini – check
Remastered vocals on top of generic pop song – check

This video makes Paris Hilton’s “Stars are Blind” look like a masterpiece.

Unsurprisingly, it’s directed by her ever-present fiancé/boyfriend, Spencer Pratt.

And here’s “behind the scenes” footage which just shows Spencer taping and isn’t worth watching. There is a moment near the end with a guy trying to fish while they’re taping who doesn’t even bother to glance at them:

Thanks to Us Weekly for linking this.

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are shown at the Cloverfield premiere on 1/16/08, thanks to PRPhotos.