As much as we can’t stand Heidi Montage and Spencer Pratt, their drama is the very definition of “train wreck” tabloid bullsh-t. Late last Friday, it was announced by someone that Heidi Montag had enough of Spencer and that they were “separating” although no one was really giving a hard confirmation of anything. Then, over the weekend, Heidi’s little friend Jennifer Bunney gave an interview in which she made Heidi and Spencer’s split sound like it was all just promotion for a new reality show starring Heidi. Now Us Weekly is reporting a hard confirmation from Heidi’s rep, who isn’t actually quoted as using the word “separated”. An “insider” does tell Us Weekly that there are “no plans” to divorce.

Is Heidi and Spencer Pratt’s split for real? Affirmative, says Heidi’s rep, who confirms the separation to UsMagazine.com, explaining that nothing legal has been filed.

“Heidi is going through a difficult time and hopes people respect her privacy,” the rep tells Us.

An insider insists that the couple, who wed in April of last year, parted ways early last week, with Heidi initiating the break. Adds the pal: “there are no plans for divorce…they are going through some issues. It’s a hiccup.”

The source claims that both Heidi, 23, and Spencer, 26, were blindsided by TMZ’s Friday report, which divulged that Heidi was moving out.

“She was bummed that it came out,” the pal says. “She wanted things to be more settled first.”

Why the break? “Heidi loves Spencer but she had lost contact with her friends and family,” the friend explains. “She started to realize what she was missing.”

Mulitiple sources have told Us Weekly that hot-tempered Spencer has brainwashed and isolated his wife, who underwent an astonishing ten plastic surgery procedures earlier this year. On Sunday, former Hills star Jennifer Bunney told Us that her old friend Heidi is “moving in with me” for the summer — while the cameras role for a reality show, she claims.

Bunney, an aspiring doctor in a long-distance relationship, explained the series will capture “huge turning points” in their lives. “Is [Heidi] going to be a single, independent woman or is she going to stay with Spencer?… We know fame is fleeting, fame is not going to support us for the rest of our lives. We need to make smart decisions right now.”

[From Us Weekly]

As much as I hoped that all of this would be the first part of Heidi’s long, slow, arduous return to the real world, I have to admit, it doesn’t sound like it. I think Heidi has a first-class ticket to the crazy train, and Spencer is the conductor. I really do think all of this is some kind of crazy scheme. Spencer probably worked it all out a few weeks ago, when he was masturbating on some of his crystals. My guess is that the next part of the scheme will involve fake mustaches, an armadillo, and a hand job by a lithe Venezuelan named Enrique (for Spencer).

On Friday before this holiday weekend (in the US it’s Memorial Day today), we heard that Heidi Montag was sort-of separating with her husband of just over a year, Spencer Pratt. Heidi’s rep told TMZ “Heidi is looking to move out due to all the fake bad press that Spencer controls. She’s tired of it and is looking for a place and wants to focus on her acting career.”

Many of you wondered if this was for real or just a publicity stunt. This couple’s entire marital history, appearance, and personal drama seem timed to maximize tabloid headlines so it’s hard to tell if anything about them is genuine. The truth may be somewhere in between, with Heidi “separating” from Spencer so she can move in with a girlfriend to a beach house as they film their own reality show. Heidi’s co-star and friend, a woman named Jennifer Bunney who was also on The Hills, told US Weekly the show will focus on “our friendship, getting through things with each other like marriage stuff and boyfriend stuff.”

I guess this is good news. If Spencer would have stayed sane and been on board with impregnating Heidi as she was scheming, then we would have been treated to a reality show chronicling her every craving and hormone change. Instead she’s moving out and we will just be annoyed by them separately instead of as a perma-grin reality power couple.

As for all those stories about how Spencer was brainwashing Heidi and limiting her access to television, the Internet, and friends, that seemed to be at least somewhat true. Spencer even bragged about his influence over Heidi in an episode of The Hills while Heidi talked about the magical properties of the healing crystals they’ve sunk nearly 1/2 a million dollars into. As I wrote a couple of weeks ago “These two are crazy like foxes, but that doesn’t mean they’re not crazy, just that they use it to their advantage.”

Someone confirmed to TMZ that Spencer was just as controlling and off his rocker as the tabloids reported, and that Heidi is leaving “mainly because Spencer Pratt has taken away her friends and family. We’re told she has been complaining bitterly that Spencer is so controlling he isolated her from all her friends.” By leaving to start her own reality show with a friend, is Heidi serving as a kind of warped reality show example of how to get out of an emotionally abusive relationship? I’m incredulous of anything this two do, but am also happy for Heidi that she’s getting out and has her own “career.” As much as we ridicule them, this was an incredibly unhealthy relationship that showed the classic signs of emotional abuse.

Oh I just wanted to mention that Radar Online ran a story about this over the weekend using an older photo of Heidi in a bikini. At first I saw it and thought “Oh wow, she looks so pretty, I’m so glad she gained a little weight.” Then I realized that it was an old photo taken before she had those 10 completely unnecessary plastic surgery procedures. She’ll never look like that again.

Well Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have separated, and Heidi’s rep made the announcement late on a Friday afternoon just like any other “celebrity” couple hoping to minimize publicity and be fashionable. To briefly recap their marital history, Heidi and Spencer held a commitment ceremony in Mexico in November, 2008. They then held a lavish wedding in April, 2009 that was also filmed for their reality show, The Hills. The two received plenty of flack for the fact that their first wedding was not legally binding, (and for a follow up civil ceremony that was also faked) but they reportedly got a license and made it official the second time around.

In the past few weeks, we’ve heard plenty of rumblings that Heidi and Spencer’s marriage of just a year was in trouble. The stories have centered around Spencer’s controlling and increasingly erratic behavior and included US Weekly’s cover story two weeks ago “The Battle for Heidi: She’s Brainwashed.” It’s hard to separate fact from fiction with this couple, who seem more concerned with earning headlines than with how they’re perceived by the public. The breakup rumors seem real though, and I believed the stories that Spencer was going off the deep end. These two are just not decent enough actors to pull off a scheme that complicated. And now they’re breaking up – maybe. It sounds like a half-assed announcement.

Heidi Montag has separated from husband Spencer Pratt, TMZ has learned.

Heidi’s rep tells TMZ, “Heidi is looking to move out due to all the fake bad press that Spencer controls. She’s tired of it and is looking for a place and wants to focus on her acting career.”

We’re told Heidi — pictured here in Malibu last Friday — is looking for a new place to live … in Malibu.

As TMZ first reported, Heidi and Spencer called the police on Heidi’s mom a few weeks back … so there’s been plenty of turmoil.

A source close to Heidi and Spencer tells TMZ the tension in the relationship has been building for a while now … “It wasn’t just a sudden thing.”

Now it makes sense … On Tuesday, Heidi tweeted, “I am not Heidi Pratt, I am Heidi Montag.”

[From TMZ]

I want to know – is Heidi looking to move out of that trashed house she’s renting with Spencer or has she already moved out? You don’t announce a serious separation if you’re just looking to move out. People is reporting this as unconfirmed, and it sounds like Heidi is dissatisfied but not ready to leave the relationship yet. Whether she’s breaking free, looking for some publicity or a little of both remains to be seen. Neither of them seem that right in the head, which made me think they were perfect for each other. They just each got crazy in incompatible ways. Spencer got into some kind of healing crystal/military kick while Heidi thinks all her problems can be solved with surgical procedures that render her unrecognizable. When they were both superficially pretty and fame-seeking it worked, though.

Heidi Montag underwent 10 completely unnecessary plastic surgery procedures in one go last year, earning the cover of People magazine and ending up with comically oversized breasts and a freaky looking puffy face that she’ll be stuck with until she inevitably messes it up worse with additional plastic surgery. According to Heidi, she doesn’t regret her procedures at all though, and calls all the work she had done ”

The reality TV star — whose life is allegedly controlled by her crazy husband Spencer Pratt — insists she has never felt “sexier, happier, or more amazing” since she had plastic surgery.

“I love me! And I love life! Every moment counts!!!!!!!! xoxoxo!” she wrote on her Twitter page.

“My last surgery was the BEST decision of my life! Anything else anyone says (family members who are trying to make money off of me) is a lie!

“I have never felt sexier, happier, or more amazing in my own skin. I truly look the way I have always dreamed, I love America and freedom!

“You will get to know the true me and my REAL life VERY soon, under all my plastic haha! Not the Superficial “me” you read about and watch!!! (sic)”

Heidi also used her Twitter account to blast her alleged “friends” who have been against her surgical enhancements.

“PS,” she wrote, “I HAVE NO FRIENDS, the ones who are pretending to be ‘friends’ or ‘family’, are crazy, angry, broke, and bitter this is why they haven’t been in my life for years! LIARS! (sic)”

[From Heidi Montag's Twitter via Showbizspy]

A couple of weeks ago there were stories about how Heidi was basically a prisoner in crazy Spencer’s cluttered home, and how he was separating her from her friends and family. She seems to be confirming that with her statement that “I have no friends” but adding that her friends are turning on her. In Heidi’s warped version of reality, that’s ok because she doesn’t want those people in her life anyway. It sounds just like the way she’s defending her plastic surgery, by claiming that she wanted to turn out this way and is so happy with the results. It sounds like she’s trying to justify her situation to herself more than just to us.

Last week, US Weekly had footage of Heidi and Spencer on The Hills in which Spencer bragged that he kept Heidi from watching TV or using the Internet. The two whack jobs also spoke seriously about the crystals they’ve spent hundreds of dollars on, to which they attribute magical powers. I’m thinking that Spencer must not be doing a great job at keeping Heidi offline if she’s spending so much time tweeting about how great her life is. Maybe he should have used the Internet to google how effective crystals are at wasting your money.

Here’s a link to new photos of Heidi fellating an ice cream cone.

Given all we know about Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, it’s easy to conclude that they both have mental health issues, to put it kindly. Heidi suffers from body dysmorphic disorder and is searching for elusive self worth through ever increasing amounts of plastic surgery, with the result that she looks like a lopsided cartoon. Spencer is unable to get along with anyone and has admitted to spending $500,000 on crystals, basically all of his money, in order to achieve some kind of cosmic harmony. Heidi has also hired and fired a psychic as her manager.

The latest cover of US Weekly declares that Heidi has been “brainwashed” by Spencer and that friends and family worry they’ll “lose her forever.” First of all, that would mean that she had a brain to wash, and that she wasn’t already lost to her friends and family. US Weekly doesn’t have that full story online, but there’s a teaser and a related article about a recent episode of The Hills. In response to Heidi’s mom’s criticism of her daughter’s extensive plastic surgery, Spencer spit back in a statement on last night’s show “She’s not God. She didn’t make Heidi. She’s just a vagina!” That’s priceless. US is also reporting that Spencer and Heidi will most likely not be asked back to tape the final episode of The Hills. They haven’t been on set since mid April.

As for Heidi’s “brainwashing,” US’ website tells us to pick up the article for the details. “For more – including how Heidi hasn’t spoken to her mom since the premiere; how Spencer has “preyed” on Heidi’s insecurities and ruined her self-esteem; Spencer’s scary “rage issues” and how pals fear he could “snap at any minute” and how their sad, desperate hunger for fame has left them friendless (“No one ever visits,” says a source) – pick up the new Us Weekly today!”

Meanwhile this week’s issue of Life & Style, on stands now, has a story that sort-of confirms US‘ new cover. It’s all about how Heidi is staying in a cluttered home with Spencer where he’s a shut in. Spencer confirms that he hasn’t left the house more than three times in a month, and that some former Marine is living with him helping him write a screenplay. He doesn’t admit to trapping Heidi or anything. The best part is the photo of the place, which looks wrecked.

Heidi Montag is trapped inside Spencer Pratt’s prison. At least that’s how Life & Style is putting it. Pratt is barely leaving the house, and he’s making Heidi stick close to his side. Furthermore, he’s brought a former Marine in to be their roommate (he’s taking up residence in the spare bedroom).

“It’s true, I do have a Marine in the house,” Spencer told Life & Style. “He’s helping me write a script. And yes, we’ve been out of the house only three times this month, but that’s because I’m busy working on several business ventures.”
Life & Style goes on to say that the couple is not living in the lavish Hollywood Hills, Calif., home that’s featured on “The Hills,” but instead is in an “unkempt and unsafe home” in Pacific Palisades.

“The living room is filled with Spencer’s mess, which Heidi often has to clean up,” according to the magazine. And Spencer lines the window with crystals, which he believes will keep bad spirits out but keep Heidi locked in,” according to a source who spoke to the magazine.

Pratt did not respond to requests for comment about the claims.

[From MSNBC's The Scoop]

Is this really true? Is Spencer trapping Heidi inside his apartment while he obsessively hoards crystals and crap, hanging out with some random Marine? It could be. It’s probably just as true as the fact that Heidi mangled her face in her sad quest for infamy and belonging. These two are crazy like foxes, but that doesn’t mean they’re not crazy, just that they use it to their advantage. They earned the cover of US Weekly at a time when we should be forgetting/ignoring them, and that’s definitely something. Heidi was just on the cover of Life & Style last week too.

Photo inside Heidi and Spencer’s home courtesy of Life & Style. Header image via Cover Awards.

Oh, God. Don’t be fooled by the totally and utterly misleading Life & Style headline “Forced Into More Surgery”. Heidi Montag is not being “forced” into anything. She is trying to “force” surgeons to do more surgery on her. L&S scored an interview with Spencer Pratt, and Spencer is telling all about how Heidi wants to increase the size of her breast implants, how she gets someone to come over once a week to inject whatever into her lips, and how she’s going to fly to Europe to get more surgery, because the American doctors are now, like, “Seriously, we don’t want to touch this mess anymore.” Here’s the excerpt:

Heidi Montag plans to risk her life again with another surgery, Life & Style can exclusively reveal. Heidi’s husband Spencer Pratt tells Life & Style she wants to increase the size of her breast implants from 700 cc’s to 800 cc’s.

“She wants to do it within the next two months and film it for the new TV show she and Spencer have been pitching to cable networks E! and Oxygen,” an insider says. Even crazier? Heidi’s looking to have the surgery done in Europe, not by an American-board-certified doctor! Spencer insists he’s already doing everything he can to keep her away from her plastic surgeon — and it’s no easy task.

“I try to stop her,” Spencer tells Life & Style. “She wants her doctor to come over once a week to plump up her lips. I keep telling her that they’re big enough and that she doesn’t need it.”

So what put her over the edge? Spencer tells Life & Style about an off-the-cuff remark from Ryan Seacrest during a visit to his LA radio station on April 5 that shattered Heidi’s world.

“When Heidi entered the studio, Ryan told her that her breasts didn’t look that big to him,” Spencer, who was standing just a few feet from his wife at the time, says. Although Ryan’s comment was clearly meant to compliment Heidi and calm any preshow jitters she may have had before her early morning interview, his words took on a twisted meaning in her mind.

“She was taken aback,” Spencer says. “She came home in shock.” The incident just confirmed the outrageous fear she’d had since undergoing her latest round of plastic surgery in November: that her breasts still aren’t big enough.

[From Life & Style]

Okay, I feel totally wrong, but I chuckled at the Seacrest story. What’s strange is I’m convinced it went down like that! Seacrest was all “Hey, your boobs don’t look circus-y or freakish in person” and Heidi was all “Don’t say that, you bitch!” Lordy, Heidi really is mentally ill, isn’t she? Or is this all just for attention? That’s what I keep thinking, actually. Heidi realized that if she kept getting freakish surgeries, people would pay more and more attention to her. It’s sad and tragic, but I’m still undecided as to whether we can make fun of her? Is she’s mentally ill, or is she just another dumb, talentless idiot trying to get attention?

Header: cover courtesy of CoverAwards.

As you can imagine, the other tabloids look pretty foolish this week in the wake of Sandra Bullock’s big “I have a baby, peeps” announcement. Well, I did like In Touch’s Kim Kardashian story this week, but this Us Weekly story is just foolish. I mean, sure, we all like to mock the dumb Hills people. Heidi Montag is more plastic than flesh and blood. Audrina is cock-eyed. Kristen Cavallari seems somewhat normal, but she’s probably a major pill too. Sigh… maybe we should just do a countdown to irrelevance.

Anyway, Us Weekly released part of their cover story on why the ladies of The Hills are being “destroyed by fame”. Heidi is being “destroyed” because, according to Us Weekly’s sources, she’s addicted to painkillers. It makes sense, actually:

Sources on the set of The Hills fear that Heidi Pratt is developing a dangerous addiction to painkillers — months after her recovery from plastic surgery.

“She’s a shell of her former self,” a show insider tells the new issue of Us Weekly, on stands today. (A rep for the reality star, 23, tells Us, “This is completely ridiculous.”)

Indeed, Heidi and her husband, Spencer, have developed increasingly weird behavior. While their 2008 elopement to Mexico was done with a knowing wink, they’re recently “crossed over to this bizarre place,” the source says.

Case in point: Heidi only agreed to get 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day last November “because she knew it would be a huge story,” an insider says. (Laments pal Jason Wahler to Us, “I knew her when she was normal.”)

“They are addicted to the fame,” the source says. “As The Hills winds down and people start to care less, they are desperate to get back that high.”

Pals say they’ve always had a thirst for fame — especially Spencer, who declared shortly after The Hills premiered in 2006, “I’m going to date those girls and blow that show up.” (Before pursuing Heidi, he also went after Audrina Patridge.)

Says a source who knew Heidi then, “She was spellbound. If it weren’t for him, she’d be a mom in the suburbs.”

To find out how Heidi and Spencer blew through hundreds of thousands of dollars in recent months, how Spencer has gotten violent and lost control with his family and how they’re trying to compete against the Kardashians and Jersey Shore cast, pick up the new issue of Us Weekly, on stands now.

[From Us Weekly]

I’ll buy that Heidi and Spencer are both totally “bizarre” in real life. I imagine Spencer jerking off to his crystal collection, while Heidi stares at herself in the mirror, occasionally poking her dead, immovable face. Then Heidi turns to Spencer and asks, “Do you think I’m pretty yet?” And Spencer replies: “Not in front of my crystal friends, baby.” And then Heidi pops another pill and looks in the mirror. It’s all very Valley of the Dolls in my mind. With crystals.

UPDATE: Hollyscoop is reporting that Heidi & Spencer are in the process of getting the go-ahead for their own special reality show that will show a “behind-the-scenes look at their lives”. It doesn’t look like the show is for sure going to air, though. No one has purchased it.

Us Weekly cover courtesy of Us Weekly online.

The new, and hopefully last, season of The Hills premieres on Tuesday and it marks the first season with Heidi Montag’s new face and “upgraded” body. US Weekly has a clip from the first episode in which Heidi and her family discuss her plastic surgery. We’ve already heard that Heidi’s mom was “horrified” when first confronted with the extent of her 23 year-old daughter’s surgical alterations. In this clip, Heidi and her family are having dinner while they ask her about her motivation for getting so much work done. Heidi explains that she just wanted to be happy and her mother asked her if she ever considered going to a psychologist instead of a plastic surgeon. A little later, Heidi tries to take a bite of a hamburger and admits that her jaw is so sore that she can barely chew it. I don’t think US Weekly’s recap does justice to the exchange between Heidi and her family, so here’s what they said, which is actually juicier than US makes it out to be.

Heidi’s sister: You were always so outgoing and so confident… I was envious of the confidence you had. I don’t know what happened.

Heidi: I just wanted to be happier and couldn’t fix who I was being upset with how I looked on the outside.

Heidi’s mom: I would like to see the choice made to deal with the insecurity on a psychological level.

Heidi: That’s great for you. You live in the mountains. You don’t live where I live.

Heidi’s Mom: Does that make a difference?

Heidi: Of course it does.

Heidi’s mom: So should you not live in that area?

Heidi: I don’t want to get into this right now.

Heidi’s mom: I’m just having a mature, adult conversation with a brilliant, articulate woman. With a very sore jaw.

[Heidi's eating]

Heidi’s sister: How’s that burger?

Heidi: I can’t really chew it.

Heidi’s mom: You want me to put it in a blender for you?

[From clip from The Hills' premiere, airing 4-27-10]

It’s really amusing that Heidi can’t chew at all, but I think the real take away from this brief clip is how Heidi’s mom nails the problem by telling her daughter to deal with the issue psychologically, not superficially. It’s too late now, though. Heidi will have to live with that new face for the rest of her life while her unhappiness may have only lasted a few months.

Although we’ve heard that this is the final season of The Hills it may not be. Heidi’s costar Kristin Cavallari said the show might be renewed and that she would be on board if that happened. “There’s a possibility of them ordering 12 more episodes. I would like to do it.” I doubt Heidi will be back. She’s already (allegedly) threatening to sue the series’ creator for sexual harassment and her husband is off. Cavallari confirmed that “Spencer got kicked off the show like a month and a half ago” and added that “he’s done.” Now Heidi can concentrate on that career as a female action star she’s been tweeting about.

Call me crazy, but I love some Paulina Porizkova! She’s one of my favorites from the ‘80s. I always enjoyed her as a model, and as a rock star girlfriend/wife (to Ric Ocasek, they’ve been married for 20 years). But I really grew to appreciate her so much more when she became the truth-telling bitch who slammed Tyra Banks after Paulina was dumped from America’s Next Top Model. Tyra and Paulina got into something of a verbal dispute after Paulina’s dismissal, and Paulina came out the victor, just for being awesome and calling Tyra out on her bullsh-t (recap here).

Anyway, Paulina still writes and blogs and keeps it real. She wrote a blog post for the website Modelinia, and she took to task some of the most recent plastic surgery “victims” in celebrity-ville today:

Supermodel Paulina Porizkova calls Heidi Montag a “cheap plastic pool float” and has harsh words for fellow plastic surgery patients Madonna and Kate Hudson as well.

In a blog post for Modelinia.com, Porizkova writes: “Madonna no longer looks like Madonna: what started as a sexy, well-shaped, and somewhat hairy Italian girl has ended as a cool Nordic blonde . . . she is starting to sort of melt away into the stew of the famous women over-fifty-high-cheek- boned blondes-who-cannot-frown.”

As for Hudson, who’s rumored to have recently gained breast implants: “She just looks like any California blond actress. Instead of enhancing, she has diminished herself.”

[From Page Six]

I cosign the sh-t about Madonna and Heidi, obviously. I don’t care how much money Madonna has, or how many hit records, young boyfriends, or fancy estates she has, Madonna has ruined herself with her sketchy plastic surgery. It looks painful, it looks horrible, and it made Madonna seem so fragile, so uncool, so desperate to retain whatever youth she might have been clinging to. As for Heidi Montag, that sh-t’s a lost cause, but “cheap plastic float” sums it up well. The only one I slightly disagree with is Kate Hudson. CB and I were taking about Kate’s new boobs, and we both agreed that if we were as flat as she was, and we had the money and time to get it done, we probably would have gotten implants too. So, no judgment on that part. As far as the assessment of “She just looks like any California blond actress”… um, that’s always been the case! With or without implants, Kate has always been just another blonde.

Us Weekly gathered a team of the best plastic surgeons in the business to go on the record about how awful Heidi Montag‘s fake boobs are. Except not really, these are just the doctors who would go on the record without actually treating Heidi, and it’s not like they’re saying anything that anyone with the power of sight wouldn’t have noticed. Basically, the gist is “Doctor Obvious says Heidi is going to have major health problems for years to come. Oh, and her boobs are going to sag down to her ankles, and her back is going to hurt too.” Shocking! Here’s more:

Heidi Montag — who famously underwent a staggering 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day (a breast enlargement, among them) — unveiled her post-surgery bikini bod last weekend in Las Vegas.

Though the 23-year-old Hills star — whose breasts are now a size “E” or “F” and legally cannot undergo any more surgery — was all smiles as she showed off her new assets, several plastic surgeons tell UsMagazine.com she faces a slew of post-surgery woes.

“The excessive weight of the implants in these extreme augmentations almost always leads to chronic lower back pain and significant drooping of the breasts,” says New Jersey-based Dr. Lyle M. Back. “Often, the entire balance of the spine can be thrown off, resulting in chronic neck strain, painful shoulders and even a stooping posture.”

San Francisco plastic surgeon Dr. Joel Beck thinks she also may have trouble breastfeeding. “If the breasts are too big, the baby can’t latch on to get a mother’s milk,” he says.

As Montag ages, he adds, “the implants will thin the [skin] tissues and require a breast lift.”

The implants are so oversized, they could even “erode through the skin and be exposed, mandating [their] removal,” adds Dr. Beck.

But her second nose job could have “the most potential consequences,” warns Dr. Mark Berman, president of the American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery. He tells Us that Montag may lose the ability to breathe through her nose if her nostrils have been “narrowed too much.”

(Her only major non-threatening surgery? Her back scooping — which, according to Dr. Berman, refers to “liposuction around the hips and flanks to narrow the waist.” “Since only fat would be removed, other than the general discomfort from the initial healing phase … she should be able to do any physical activity she could previously do,” Dr. Berman says. [Montag has been photographed doing yoga, but she has said she can't jog anymore because she'll injure her new breasts.])

Not only does she face physical ramifications – but psychological ones as well.

“There’s a lot of pressure to look a certain way in Hollywood,” admits Dr. Larry Fan, a Harvard-trained leader in aesthetic plastic surgery. “It’s just not emotionally healthy to want to change so many things about your appearance at all once. I am most concerned about Heidi’s emotional health and sense of body image.”

[From Us Weekly]

As someone with natural DD-cup boobs, let just say that they really are more trouble then they’re worth. I can barely bend over without knocking myself out. No – not really. But my back and shoulders do hurt sometimes, especially if I’m standing for a long time.

However, now that I know what this mysterious back scooping is, that sounds like an interesting procedure. Aren’t there some vital organs in that general area though? Must look up internal anatomy.

One final story, vaguely related to Heidi’s awful plastic surgery. After Audrina Patridge talked about Heidi‘s surgery on George Lopez‘s show, Spencer Pratt tweeted: “Audrina – Don’t hate because your nasty Tijuana plastic surgery got you no press.” “Nasty Tijuana plastic surgery” is maybe the best description I’ve ever heard of busted work. I can’t believe Spencer is that clever. He’s really not though – even though I do think Audrina’s implants look like “nasty Tijuana” junk, so does Heidi’s. No disrespect to Tijuana.