Hilary Duff’s new video, featuring samples from “Personal Jesus”

The bastardization of all that’s sacred is complete. Hilary Duff’s latest single is a blatant rip-off of one Depeche Mode’s biggest songs, Personal Jesus, except she changes the loner-and-loser lyrics to bubble-gum sexual innuendo-lite and steals Britney Spears’ vocal machine.

For all you youngsters out there, Depeche Mode was the emo of the 80s. I’m obviously showing my age, but People are People instantly transports me back to junior high school dance parties.

Personal Jesus was released in 1989. It was actually inspired by Elvis Presley, according to band member Martin Gore.

It’s a song about being a Jesus for somebody else, someone to give you hope and care. It’s about how Elvis was her man and her mentor and how often that happens in love relationships; how everybody’s heart is like a god in some way, and that’s not a very balanced view of someone, is it?

[From Wikepedia]

It’s also about being alone and having someone just as lonely to comfort you in your solitude. When you’re 18 and about to move 1000 miles away for college where you have no friends, it’s bloody brilliant.

Here are some of the lyrics:

Your own Personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own Personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who’s there

Feeling unknown
And you’re all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I’ll make you a believer

Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess
I will deliver
You know I’m a forgiver

Reach out and touch faith

Here are the lyrics to the Hilary Duff version, called Reach Out:

Tunnel vision had him locked on in my sight
On a mission, for position by the end of the night
It’s like a prayer, playin’ games with the hunter
You better run boy, time to surrender

And all I need is to feel you
All I want is to feel you

Reach out and touch me
Before I go insane
Reach out and touch me
Boy don’t you make me wait
I’m a diamond and you’re so on the money
Reach out and touch me
And all I need is to feel you
Reach out and touch me

Like a prayer, your touch can take me there
Ain’t no mind, you and me in a secret affair
Oh boy you’re killing me and you don’t even know it
Try to hold back but I can’t control it

There’s even a rip-off of (or possibly an homage to) Madonna’s Like a Prayer.

This makes me sad in so many ways. I’m sure Depeche Mode will make a ton of money from it, but music today is so vapid that even Depeche Mode are only in it for the money. Hilary Duff has turned into a poor man’s Britney Spears clone. And I feel old ranting against kids these days and their music.

I think I’ll go put on The Smiths. That’s sure to cheer me up, at least until Miley Cyrus covers Girlfriend in a Coma.

For any of you whippersnappers who like the Hilary Duff song, her album Best of Hilary Duff will be released November 11.

Here’s the original version of Depeche Mode’s “Personal Jesus,” which is much much better.

Hilary Duff’s mom, Susan, took her former husband Bob Duff to court near Houston, Texas yesterday in an attempt to get him to plunk down an additional $25,000 in child support to pay for Hilary’s 21st birthday party. Bob pays $10,000 a month in child support for his daughters Hilary, 20, and Haylie, 23, despite the fact that both young women are successful and live in their own home in LA together. Their mother also lives in LA while he remains in Houston. Hilary is already a millionaire in her own right, with a net worth estimated at $25 million. Susan wanted another $25k for Hilary’s birthday, because that’s how much Haylie’s party cost and she thought that was perfectly reasonable. $10k a month only goes so far, and Susan says she is reduced to borrowing from her richer daughters to pay her bills.

The courtroom got pretty heated between the lawyers for both sides. It sounds like Bob got contempt of court for disobeying court orders, though, not for an outburst. He sold some of his stocks even though he’s not supposed to sell assets and was ordered to pay his earnings of $367,537 to the court and led out in handcuffs. Bob was sentenced to 10 days in jail, but can presumably meet bail and should be out soon. As if all those penalties and jail time weren’t enough, he’ll also have to pay $12,500 to his ex wife, half the cost of the planned birthday party for Hilary:

Stansbury eventually ordered Bob to pay $12,500 to Susan for Hilary’s birthday.

Bob took another hit when Stansbury ordered him to spend 10 days in jail for contempt of court. He is accused of violating an injunction against selling assets without court approval and must pay $367,537 he earned from selling stocks last month into a court repository.

Piro said his client plans to post bond as soon as possible and file an appeal.

At the end of the hearing, deputies fingerprinted Bob and led him away in handcuffs. When Susan saw the deputies click the cuffs on her husband, she gasped and put her hand over her mouth.

“This isn’t what I wanted,” she murmured.

[From The Houston Chronicle via TMZ]

That sounds like a particularly harsh judge. Is it normal procedure to send someone to jail for selling stocks in violation of an injuction? You would think that making him fork over that insane amount of cash would be penalty enough.

There’s also the whole issue of the parents having to pay for Hilary’s birthday. She’s doing fine on her own and she’s been sporting what looks like an engagement ring from her boyfriend, hockey player Mike Comrie, who is also a multi-millionaire. He could easily pay for Hilary’s party if she doesn’t want to foot the bill. Instead, her mother insisted her dad pay for it and he got hauled off to jail during the court proceedings. Whatever party she does have will be marred by what happened to her dad.

Hilary Duff’s song Gypsy Woman, released Spring, 2007, is about her dad’s affair while he was still married to her mom. Hilary blamed the woman for breaking up her family in both the song and her statements about it.

Hilary and Haylie Duff are shown at the 1408 premiere on 6/13/07. Credit: Juan Rico/Fame Pictures

Young Hilary Duff, who was once locked in an eternal competition with Lindsay Lohan over who would be the most famous Disney star (wonder who won that?) appears to be engaged. The singer/actress was spotted wearing quite the ring on her left hand while she ate dinner with boyfriend Mike Comrie on Friday night.

What happens when Hilary Duff leaves the house wearing a ring on her wedding finger?

She ignites a flurry of speculation that she and her boyfriend of one year, pro-hockey player Mike Comrie, are engaged to be married.

Duff’s camp is not confirming or denying that Comrie popped the question…

When asked if they’re engaged, a rep for the singer-actress did not comment.

Duff was spotted wearing the mystery ring on Friday night when the two hit L.A.’s Il Sole restaurant for dinner.

If it’s not an engagement ring, perhaps the bauble was an early birthday present from Comrie, who is an heir to Canada’s The Brick furniture empire. Last year, Comrie, 27, reportedly gave Duff a $100,000 Mercedes to celebrate her 20th. She turns 21 on Sept. 28.

[From E! News]

Seven weeks seems a little too early for even the earliest of birthday presents. At first I thought the ring didn’t have a center stone and probably wasn’t an engagement ring. But if you look closely at the pictures it seems like there is a stone and it’s slid to the side of Duff’s hands. Here are the pictures – thanks to WENN. We’ll let you be the judges.

Joel Madden has pledged to marry Nicole Richie, his girlfriend who is five months pregnant with the couple’s baby. He told Ryan Seacrest on his radio show that they would get married, and that he was committed to Nicole:

“Obviously, marriage is in our future,” Madden told Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS-FM radio show Tuesday. “I don’t know when or where or how, but right now our priority is our family and is the baby.”

The singer added: “That’s all we’ve been thinking about. We are in love and are really happy.”

[From People.com]

A story last week had Nicole postponing the wedding until after the baby was born as she wanted to avoid the unnecessary stress. Nicole is said to be planning an all natural medication-free birth and seems to be acting in the best interest of her child. If only she could get an attitude adjustment.

It is possible that Madden was making such a public statement about his plans with Nicole due to the sensational new cover of Star this week. The cover features an old picture of Madden’s ex, Hilary Duff, on his lap. A forlorn-looking pregnant Nicole simpers on the cover and the headline reads “Joel CHEATING on pregnant Nicole… with Hilary?”

I thought Hilary Duff was dating a hot young hockey player and if there is some insider information about a potential meeting with Madden I bet they just ran into each other out somewhere and made awkward ex conversation. A paparazzo might have seen it at one of the clubs these young stars frequent and given the non-salacious details to the tabloids.

Meanwhile there’s a cute story in this week’s Enquirer about Joel busting his ass to get Nicole some ice cream when they were in NY:

In Madhattan [sic] spending a quiet evening in, pregnant Nicole Richie and Joel Madden vegged and watched TV – until Mommy-to-be suddenly moaned she had a powerful craving for caramel ice cream from fave La Maison du Chocholat in Rockefeller Plaza. After 20 minutes of resistance, Daddy-to-be surrendered and raced several blocks to the store – but it had just closed! Knowing Hell hath no fury like a pregnant dame jonse-ing for whatever, Joel banged on the door until an annoyed salewoman yelled through the glass: “We’re Closed!” Panic-stricken, Joel shouted back: “She’s pregnant – she’s craving caramel!” Suddenly softening, as members of The Sisterhood do when they hear baby talk, the woman took pity. Moments later – after telling her: “I will now have a little peace and quiet, thanks to you!” – Joel hotfooted back through the Big Apple streets.. just another lovestruck sap, a la “Guys and Dolls,” clutching his doll’s precious ice cream!

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Mike Walker's column, September 24, 2007]

Joel is not leaving Nicole anytime soon. The guy is making desperate ice cream runs for her and talking about getting married.

Last week’s Star Magazine had Joel and Nicole fighting over whether to live on the west or the east coast, with Joel wanting to live in NY while Nicole wanted to stay put in LA. Star must have it out for them, not that I wouldn’t mind seeing them flame out while Nicole ends up a single mom with all the help in the world.

Thanks to popbytes for the header image.

On Wednesday, Hilary Duff dished up chicken stew for the homeless in Edmonton, Alberta at Herb Jamieson Centre as part of her campaign to raise awareness about poverty and hunger. Duff also solicited food donations from those attending her concert. The food will be distributed in Edmonton through Alberta Harvest.

Duff volunteered her time for over an hour and also paid a visit to Hope Mission, a Christian social services agency.

“The Hope Mission was a priority and we wanted to lend a hand. It’s so rewarding for me. I love to get down and dirty and help out. A big misconception of charity work and celebrities is that it takes a lot of money. It doesn’t take a lot of money. Your time is the best thing you can give.”

Vancouver Sun

Duff, who was in Canada for a scheduled stop on her “Dignity Tour” which kicked off Saturday in Winnipeg, has previously collaborated with Canadian Harvest and has raised more than 125,000 pounds of food on her two previous Candadian tours.

Interesting to note that Duff’s supposed new man, New York Islanders player Mike Comrie, is also from Edmonton.

“I’m in Edmonton, he’s from Edmonton,” she said, squirming in her chair. “Some of the guys (at the shelter) asked me about him, about hockey.”

Canada.com

Hope Mission spokeswoman Janelle Aker praised Duff’s efforts, contributions and time saying Duff dished it up until the last man was fed.

“She stayed for the whole lunch,” Aker said. “Until the last man received his food.”

Photo: Vancouver Sun