The Hilton family must be so proud. First there’s Paris, starring in sex tapes, sleeping with everything that moves, and flashing her lady bits for the world to see. Then there’s Nicky, relatively dull compared to Paris, but who still manages to do little but party it up. Though she’s had a few failed business ventures to add to her resume, like her Nicky O hotel in South Beach - she gave the pitch presentation using drawings and poster board, just like you did in fifth grade. Now we can add 18-year-old Baron Hilton to the mix – yes Rick and Kathy Hilton actually have four celebuspawns, the younger two being Barron and brother Conrad, 13. Barron has really lived up to the Hilton family lineage, getting his very first DUI last night – that’s right, he beat Paris by seven years! What else must his future have in store for him?

TMZ has learned 18-year-old Barron Hilton, Paris’ little brother, was arrested for DUI in Malibu at 8:30 AM this morning!

Cops tell TMZ he was driving a black Mercedes on Pacific Coast Highway with a passenger — not one of his sisters– when he was pulled over at a 76 gas station.

He’s currently in the process of being booked at the Lost Hills Sheriff’s station — the same place Mel Gibson was taken.

[From TMZ]

Congratulations Hilton parents. Your progeny are truly something to be proud of. Clearly you have taught them excellent values and morals, which is why they constantly provide you with so much light and joy, never once embarrassing the greater extended Hilton family. Many of the rest of the Hiltons are actually pretty upstanding people, and have donated vast quantities of their wealth to charity. Something tells me that the future doesn’t look quite so brightly philanthropic for this particular branch of the family tree.

Here’s Barron Hilton leaving Teddy’s bar with sister Paris on January 3rd. Images thanks to WENN.

Frightening news: Paris Hilton has an acting coach. And she’s not a new acting coach. Apparently Ivana Chubbuck is pretty well regarded too. Which leads to the next logical question… if this is Paris Hilton WITH an acting coach, what would she have been like without one? How does an acting coach correct for blatant vapidness? “Paris, instead of having flat affect and dead eyes, try raising your voice up and down and doing something crazy with that wonky eye you’ve got.” According to Paris, she’s learned a lot of acting tricks that the rest of us have never heard of.

“My acting coach, Ivana Chubbuck … She’s an incredible acting coach,” Hilton told PEOPLE at Monday’s premiere of her new romantic comedy, The Hottie and the Nottie, in Hollywood.

“If it’s a scene where I have to get upset, I’ll think of a past person,” the heiress, who turns 27 on Feb. 17, said recently of Chubbuck’s advice. “I’ll think of something in my life, use it in the scene, and it really works.”

[From People]

I’m pretty sure I learned the same damn thing from my mentally deranged seventh grade drama teacher. I’d really like to know how much Paris is paying this woman, because I’m pretty sure I could do the same for a lot less. I’m guessing that it’s not that Ivana Chubbuck is a bad acting coach at all. She probably assessed Paris and in about thirty seconds realized she could only teach her preschool level skills. Paris also said her mother gave her some acting advice, which I found pretty confusing. But it turns out Kathy Hilton used to be an actress. She was on two episodes of “Happy Days” in 1977 and an episode of “The Rockford Files” in 1978. How cute that Paris would think it a good idea to defer to her mother’s expertise. Which was, by the way, “…Taking your time, reading it, and making sure that it’s something you can do, and it’s fun. Just having fun with it.” Actually, that “taking your time reading” and “making sure it’s something you can do” is actually really good advice, considering how stupid her daughter is. And to prove that, I leave you with this completely un-edited, non-typo quote from Paris.

“Actors are really great if they’ve lived the life of a lot of things happen to them.”

[From People]

You know what else is really great? Speaking in more than one tense in the same sentence.

I think I’m starting to have a better understanding as to how and why Paris Hilton is the way she is. A lovely tidbit of gossip has just popped up, from a highly reputable source: the cowboy from the Village People, aka Randy Jones. Jones tells an interesting story of meeting Rick and Kathy Hilton at Studio 54 in 1977. For you youngins out there, Studio 54 was a famous New York City nightclub in the late seventies through the early eighties. Go rent the movie, totally worth it for the music alone. Though sadly, Rick and Kathy Hilton aren’t in the film. They probably wouldn’t have wanted anyone to know they snorted blow off the dirty floor. At least put it on some Waterford first. The Hiltons are classy people.

The “‘Y.M.C.A.” singer claims he shared a table with hotel moguls Rick and Kathy Hilton at New York’s famous Studio 54 club in 1977, where they indulged in some recreational drug taking.

Jones told the New York Daily News newspaper, “There was one rock of cocaine left, and it rolled off the table. They just didn’t even bother bringing it back up to a hard surface - they just crushed it into the carpet and snorted it off that. Whatever Paris Hilton is, she came by it honestly.”

Paris’ parents vehemently deny the incident ever took place.

Rick said, “Never happened. We didn’t move to the city until 1979.”

[From All Headline News]

Not to blow a hole (so to speak) in your alibi, Rick Hilton, but you don’t actually have to be a full-time resident of New York City in order to go to Studio 54 and snort some cocaine. I’m pretty sure they let the outsiders snort too. Though that does raise some suspicions as to WHY you moved to New York. We obviously hear a lot of gossip here, and you take it all with a grain of salt. But after a while, you can kind of tell when things have at least the possibility of truth. And such a lame excuse as to why they didn’t do cocaine (“we didn’t live there”) is ridiculous. Look, I can fly down to Los Angeles, rent a car, and run over a squirrel tomorrow. Someone could then come along a few years later and say that I ran over a squirrel in L.A. in 2007. If my only reason why I didn’t do that was to say, “That’s impossible, I didn’t live in Los Angeles in 2007…” well that’d be some pretty back asswards logic, don’t you think? But I might be giving Rick Hilton too much credit. He is genetically related to Paris Hilton, thus there’s a chance he’s simply not that smart and doesn’t realize what a shitty argument he just made. Or maybe he’s all kooky from the blow. Who’s to say?