So far, I’ve managed to avoid writing about Honey Boo Boo Child and her mother Mama June. This was by design! First off, with the exception of the Kardashians, I try to avoid writing about reality stars. Secondly, I’m a Southerner and I’m kind of offended by the idea that all of us in the South are like Honey Boo Boo’s family (even if this family is probably a realistic slice of how some Southerners live). Thirdly, my mother loves this show. It took me a while but I finally realized why: my mother over-identifies with Honey Boo Boo. My mom grew up in Georgia (where the family lives), she’s the youngest of her family (like Honey Boo Boo) and in photos from her childhood, she definitely resembles Honey Boo Boo. So I’ve grown to accept that I am part Honey Boo Boo. I’m half-Indian, half-Honey Boo Boo. This is my life.

Anyway, the whole cast of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo has been doing press. Mama June announced that she’s lost more than 100 pounds in the past two years without even going on a diet – go here to see the before and after photos. And now Mama June and Honey Boo Boo have a new interview with In Touch, and there’s so, so much magic:

Their TLC show has more than 3 million viewers each week, they’re recognized everywhere they go and are even embraced by celebrity fans. But “Mama June” Shannon — family matriarch and star of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo — insists in a new exclusive interview with In Touch, that although things have definitely changed for her big brood, life in the spotlight won’t ruin her family.

“We’re not Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie,” June, 33, tells In Touch of their newfound fame. “We don’t want to live that Hollywood lifestyle.”

June says they don’t consider themselves celebrities and know that their reality show popularity won’t last forever. “We still live off Sugar Bear’s income as a chalk miner. We’re everyday country people,” she tells the mag on newsstands now.

Six-year-old Alana a.k.a. Honey Boo Boo, even has her future away from the spotlight mapped out, discussing what she wants to be when she grows up. “Lots of things,” she tells In Touch. “A mama, a beauty queen, working at Walmart, working at McDonald’s so I can eat their chicken nuggets, a veterinarian and a nurse,” adding, “I like to help other people.”

Aside from splurging on a Ford Expedition and an above-ground pool for the family, “Mama June” has used the income they’ve earned to set up trust funds for her four children — money that they can’t touch until they turn 21. “We had fun, we’ve had adventures, and we’ve made tons of memories that we wouldn’t have made otherwise,” she says of their TV fame. “Someday, we’ll all look back and laugh about this experience.”

[From In Touch Weekly]

I don’t believe that they’re living only on Sugar Bear’s income, although I do believe Mama June when she said last year that she was putting most of the money away in a trust for Honey Boo Boo. And I also believe that they have no interest in “going Hollywood” or living like Brangelina. They don’t want to move out of their home in Georgia. And why should they? As for Honey Boo Boo’s career dreams – “A mama, a beauty queen, working at Walmart, working at McDonald’s so I can eat their chicken nuggets, a veterinarian and a nurse.” Sounds absolutely legit. She has extremely realistic dreams, doesn’t she?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

We’ve heard Honey Boo Boo’s mom, June, say that reality show fame is fleeting, and we know that she’s a coupon clipper and bargain hunter. So is it any surprise to hear that she’s squirreling away her family’s earnings, and putting it in trust for each of her four daughters to access when they turn 21? It will be for people who dismiss this family as a bunch of ignorant rednecks. For all the stereotypes of this family (which they play into and cash in on), they’re sure playing it smart.

Honey Boo Boo is already the most famous redneck, and now she’s set up to be the richest when she hits 21 … courtesy of a trust fund set up by Mama June.

June tells TMZ … the lion’s share of earnings from “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” (a cool $15k – $20k per episode) is being equally divided into funds for all 5 girls … Alana “HBB” Thomson (7), Lauryn (12), Jessica (15) and Anna (18) and baby Kaitlyn.

June says the little stars can’t touch the cash until they turn 21 — except in case of medical emergencies or using it for school — saying, “I want my kids to look back and say, ‘Mama played it smart. Not like those other reality TV people.’”

In fact, June tells us she never even sees the coin … “TLC puts the money into the girls’ trust accounts for me and then I get an email telling me how much everyone gets.”

June added … “You’re never gonna see me drive a Range Rover or a Mercedes. I’ll drive one if someone else pays for it. Never gonna live above my means.”

As for their means … Mama June says Sugarbear still rakes in cash from his contractor job, which is how they pay the bills.

The family’s only major purchase since suddenly becoming famous is a Ford Expedition … a 2005.

[From TMZ]

Who would have thought that Honey Boo Boo’s mom would be wiser with her money (and less annoying) than Kate Gosselin? Just give her time, I doubt she’s immune to the pitfalls of reality television just because she’s keeping it in perspective at this point. June has already had a mini-makeover, she was seen sporting a blonde bob on the latest episode. She needed to do something with her hair definitely, but the blonde is a little too bright for her. Are we due for a reality star that stays “real” or is this all part of the “Honey Boo Boo” redneck brand? Mama June knows that her income depends on convincing people of her family’s authenticity. If they move into a McMansion and start driving new Range Rovers it’s the beginning of the end for them. They’re not the Duck Dynasty people. (Not that I watch that show, but they’re like the reality Beverly Hillbillies, right?)

Most photos via Facebook except the balcony photo, which is credit: Anthony Monterotti, PacificCoastNews.com

Adam Levine must not get out much. He must not read the newspaper or watch the news or pay attention to much outside the celebrity and entertainment bubble. He must not watch The Soup. Or else why would he call TLC’s Honey Boo Boo show “literally the worst thing that’s ever happened” and “the decay of Western civilization.” He didn’t even say the show is “the worst thing that’s ever happened to television,” he said it was the worst thing ever – literally. (I hate when people use that term incorrectly to make their asinine point. “Literally” means actually. So “Honey Boo Boo” is “literally” the worst thing that’s ever happened in Adam Levine’s entire worldview.) There are much worse things on television, particularly on TLC, I’m not going to get into the broader meaning that Levine used, like wars and plagues and natural disasters. Granted I’m not a fan but the family seemed pretty harmless to me in the pilot, and I’ve seen the mom act graciously in interviews. She could use some manners, but they’re not the worst people. Television gets much trashier than Honey Boo Boo, but Adam went off on the show in a new interview, with GQ. They asked him what was scarier, which was a nod to his bit part on American Horror Story this season. (AHS is worse than Honey Boo Boo, IMO, that show really went off the rails recently.)

Here’s what he said:

GQ: Waking up not famous or waking up as one of Honey Boo Boo’s parents? Adam Levine: Seriously, Honey Boo Boo is the DECAY of Western civilization. Just because so many people watch the show doesn’t mean it’s good. So many people witness atrocities and can’t take their eyes away from them, but that doesn’t mean they’re good. That show is literally The. Worst. Thing. That’s. Ever. Happened. It’s complete f#@*ing ignorance and the most despicable way to treat your kids. F#@* those people. You can put that in the magazine: F#@* those idiots. They’re just the worst. Sorry, I’m so sensitive to that—like, I don’t know, man, it’s upsetting. Just to clarify, I said, “F#@* THOSE PEOPLE.”

[From GQ via US Weekly]

Tell us how you really think Adam. So it’s ok to brag about having unprotected sex, but some family that got famous for beings rednecks is somehow the worst thing that’s ever happened – ever, and Adam Levine hates them. Why does he care so much?

I shouldn’t pay too much attention to what this guy says. He regularly acts like a douche, both in interviews and in his personal life. Unlike Adam I don’t get too worked up about it though. Now we know one of his weaknesses. If you want to hurt Adam Levine’s widdle feelings, just mock him and tell him that Honey Boo Boo is more famous.

Adam Levine is shown with his girlfriend, Bahati Prinsloo, in July and November. He’s shown outside The Late Show in October. Credit: Fame Flynet. Honey Boo Boo is shown in October. Credit: Michael Wright/WENN.com

What’s that saying – if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em? The last we heard of narcissistic momager Kris Jenner, she was secretly seething over the stars of the new TLC hit, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. A source told Radar that “She thinks the Thompsons are classless, unlike her family and can’t understand why America is so fascinated by them.” Well Honey Boo Boo and her kin are wildly popular and here to stay, and Kris hopes to get some of that cash money. Star Magazine [via Hollywood Life] has a new report that Kris wants to meet with the Thompsons to tell them how much money they could be making if they would only give Kris 10%. (It could be more, I’m just guessing.) Here’s that story:

According to a recent report in Star magazine, Kris is trying to convince the Thompson family to meet with her to discuss her big plans for them. “Kris realized that they could be a gold mine,” an insider tells the magazine. “The Thompsons don’t really have any professional representation outside of TLC, and Kris thinks she can get them some serious endorsements and more money from the network. They’re getting a fraction of what Kate Gosselin got.”

[From Hollywood Life]

It could only help the Thompsons to get representation so that they’re fairly compensated by TLC, but they should stay away from Kris. She obviously has a vested interest in keeping her family on top of the reality show food chain. We recently heard that the Thompsons got a raise from TLC up to $15,000 to $20,000 an episode from the $5-7 thousand they made in their first season. TMZ reported that the family turned down the TLC network’s offer of a larger, more secure home, preferring to stay where they were. TLC is also covering “various expenses, including a bodyguard/driver for [dad] Sugar Bear, who was incapacitated after [an] ATV accident.” TLC knows that they have to keep the Thompsons happy, but they’re going to low-ball them, relatively speaking, until they start advocating for themselves. I believe that Jon and Kate made $75,000 an episode at the peak of their fame so it does sound like The Thompsons could be pulling in more.

In other news about Kris Jenner, she’s reportedly really close to getting a daytime talk show on Fox TV. We saw how well that worked out for Sharon Osbourne’s solo show, and Sharon is far more interesting. Obnoxious, but interesting.

Kris is trying to upstage her daughter at a Midori event on 9-25-12 credit: WENN.com. Honey Boo Boo and her mom are shown out in Georgia in early September. Credit: FameFlynet

We heard the spoilers about this plotline in the new Honey Boo Boo TLC reality show in an earlier article we covered from The National Enquirer. It’s worth mentioning for the fact that People Magazine is now covering it. Honey Boo Boo is a ratings hit for the network, and the show is not going away. I’m hoping that this has a similar fame arc as that polygamist family who stars on Sister Wives. Interest will probably die down after the second season, when the fame and money start to change the characters’ lives and they’re no longer the down-to-earth people we saw in the first season. For now, the show is brand new and we’re stuck with them.

The family has confirmed to People Magazine that their newest member, Kaitlyn, five weeks, was born with an abnormality and has two thumbs on one hand, but matriarch June denies the Enquirer’s version that she mocked her granddaughter at all. The baby was born to June’s oldest daughter, Anna, who is either 17 or 18 depending on which reports you believe. She may have just turned 18. Here’s more:

The littlest member of the loud, proudly redneck family in TLC’s hit reality series Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is already sparking controversy.

Tabloid reports have claimed that outspoken matriarch “Mama” June has mocked her 5-week-old granddaughter Kaitlyn, who was born with four fingers and two thumbs on the right hand.

Not true, June, 33, says of the reports. “We have embraced [the abnormality]. It makes Kaitlyn more special to us.”

The baby, whose mom is June’s 18-year-old daughter Anna, was born on July 26 weighing 6 lbs., 2 oz. June – herself a teenage mom who was just 15 when she had Anna – has been helping to care for Kaitlyn while Anna prepares to finish her senior year of high school in the family’s hometown of McIntyre, Ga.

“Sometimes my mama gives me pointers,” says Anna, who declines to name the baby’s father and says he is not in the picture. “Sometimes I just learn on my own.”

Of course, the baby also has a very young aunt to keep her entertained: Alana “Honey Boo Boo,” Thompson, who turned 7 Tuesday. (She shares the birthday with big sis Anna.)

Says Alana: “Baby Kaitlyn’s so cute.”

[From People]

Honestly, I watched half of the first episode and I found myself liking them. (Some unexpected company came over and was like “what the hell are you watching?” or I would have finished it.) The goofy, colloquial way they speak is only part of the appeal. Mom June is not dumb, she just plays like she is, and you can tell that she loves her daughters and has a close bond with them despite the fact that she made little Alana into a trash-talking pageant tot. I was kind of appalled by the crap they were eating, though, and I don’t know if I’ll continue to watch it. Overall it seems like we’re being encouraged to gawk while the family tries to play up stereotypes. I guess that’s the formula for a lot of reality shows, only this is a “redneck” one. (I would say it’s unique, but I’ve seen enough clips of other shows on The Soup to know that it’s not.)

Oh and I have to mention this story in The Daily Mail that Honey Boo Boo’s 12 year-old sister dipped her little five week-old niece’s pacifier in some kind of soda (they say it’s Mountain Dew, but does it come in those kinds of cans? Pics are at this link) and then gave it back to her. I’ve heard friends say that their mom gave them sips of coke as a baby and it’s not a big deal, but it still kind of shocked me. This isn’t a one-year-old having a little soda, it’s a one month old being fed it. I know it’s just a taste, but why give that crap to a baby who should only be drinking milk or formula? Oh and the pics do show the baby’s two thumbs on one hand. I had to look for it, because I was focused on how sweet and tiny the baby was.

Honey Boo Boo’s mom’s mugshot from an unrelated arrest, details below

You know how everyone is always saying that the “Toddlers & Tiaras” moms need to be investigated for child neglect for all the spray tans, teeth bleaching, and overt sexualization they subject their daughters to? Well it happened to at least one family. “Honey Boo Boo,” the six year-old star of a new spin-off on TLC that some have deemed exploitative, had her home life evaluated by social workers. Her case was about to go to trial when her family’s court-appointed lawyer was successful in getting it dismissed. So they probably didn’t find anything beyond what we saw on the show.

This article contains a spoiler for Honey Boo Boo. Skip over the rest of this story if you’d prefer to be surprised by this development:

“Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” premiered to huge ratings on Aug. 8. The show follows the lives of the Thomp­son family from rural McIntyre, Ga., including TLC’s new runaway star, Alana, aka “Honey Boo Boo.” The network decided to give the unforgettable little girl her own series after videos of her appearances on the cable network’s “Toddlers & Tiaras” went viral earlier this year.

BUT production of the show nearly came to a screeching halt shortly after filming began in March when investigators from Georgia’s Division of Family and Children Ser­vices made an unannounced visit to the family’s home.

“Honey Boo Boo’s upbringing raised eyebrows with neighbors,” a source told The ENQUIRER.

“The parents feed her energy drinks, cheese puffs for breakfast and brag about how they cook roadkill for meals. She even eats roadkill with flies swarming around her head!”

But the authorities didn’t get in­volved until a videotape of Honey Boo Boo dancing for dollars on a ta­ble in a bar was posted online.

In the scene, which was not filmed by TLC, mom June defended her daugh­ter’s actions by explaining that it was a college bar, not a “sleazy” one.

Investigators found reason to bring the case to court, but June’s court-appointed at­torney was able to convince the judge to throw it out, and film­ing resumed in May.

The first episode of the show – which showcases a whole lot of belly-slapping and gas-passing – drew an impressive 2.2 million viewers, but it also received a con­siderable amount of criticism.

And that criticism is bound to increase later in the season after Alana’s 17-year-old sister Anna, aka “Chickadee,” gives birth to a baby girl with two right thumbs – and grandma June makes fun of the defect!

[From The National Enquirer]

I was ready to report this story as a predictable one until I got to that end part. Honey Boo Boo’s 17 year-old sister has a baby with two right thumbs, which her family then makes fun of. Of course they do, and of course they put it all on tee-vee. That poor baby and her mom, who likely had no say in the matter.

As for the CPS investigation, it’s what you would expect. They can’t mandate that people not give their kids Mountain Dew mixed with Red Bull, not let them dance on tables, and not teach them witty phrases that hookers would say. As long as the kids aren’t in grave danger, there’s nothing they can do. Pimping them out in pageants and on a reality show doesn’t qualify.

Meanwhile, Starcasm found that Honey Boo Boo’s mom, June Shannon, has an arrest record in Georgia, most likely from missed child support payments. It’s thought that her oldest daughter, the one who is pregnant on the show, might have a different father than the man June is currently married to. Which is good news, because it means it wasn’t statutory rape when she conceived the girl at 15. You can read about it at Starcasm. [Via Crushable]

This is a TLC promo pic. Again, I didn’t just pick the worst one

This is a promotional photo from TLC. I did not just pick the worst photo to use

Six year-old Honey Boo Boo Chile, one of the precocious stars of TLC’s “Toddlers & Tiaras,” has her own spin-off show on TLC. Honey Boo Boo’s co-star, Eden Wood, got a show on Logo this year called “Eden’s World” in which she and her family coached other tots in the competitive, bizarre world of child beauty pageants. So I guess this is the second spin off for a T&T castmember, featuring the one with the most colorful family to put it lightly.

Earlier this year we covered Honey Boo Boo and her mom, June, on Dr. Drew. June admitted that she regularly gives her daughter a mixture of Red Bull and Mountain Dew as part of her pageant prep, calling it “Go Go Juice.” No we can get a glimpse inside their fascinating family life, and the preview makes the show look as exploitative as a kiddie beauty pageant. Here’s more:

Get your go-go juice and tiara because it’s the Return of Honey Boo Boo! Toddlers & Tiaras’ breakout pageant superstar, Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson, is back, and this time she’s brought her entire family with her! Yee haw! And we have a sneak peek at all the hilarity in store for TLC’s August 8th premiere!

TLC introduced 6-year-old pageant princess Alana in January and she instantly became an internet sensation with her thick accent, go-go juice-imbibing ways, coupon-queen mom, and her signature catch phrase, “A dollah makes me hollah, honey boo boo.”

Each episode follows Alana, her stay-at-home mom June, chalk-mining dad “Sugar Bear,” sisters 12-year-old Lauryn, 15-year-old Jessica, and 17-year-old pregnant Anna. From four-wheeling through mud pits to picking up road kill for the family cookout and beauty pageants, viewers see more to the trials and tribulations of a family living in rural Georgia.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo premieres on Wednesday, August 8, 2012 on TLC with six half-hour episodes.

[From The Insider]

For those of you who watch The Simpsons – do you remember when Cletus’ kids got hired by Krusty the Clown to provide entertainment on his show, and made them play up being backwoods hicks? That’s what this show reminds me of. Only Lisa isn’t going to swoop in and save anyone from this mess.

Here’s the trailer for the show. There’s a 17 year-old sister who is pregnant, the family has a pig that seems to live in the house, and their recreational activities include four wheeling and jumping into mud. A commenter on YouTube mentions that the mother, June, is 32, which would have made her about 14 when her oldest daughter was conceived. (The 17 year-old that’s pregnant now.) Her husband is 40, which means he was about 22 at the time and it was statutory rape. I just hope June is lying about her age.

I can’t with this show. TLC should be ashamed, but you know that network has no capacity for shame. They regularly feature people who eat rocks and drink their own pee. Watching these clips makes me feel sick to my stomach, not because of this family but because a show like this even got made.

Here’s a clip where they go to an auction and bid on donuts or something. The mother sneezes multiple times during her interview segment and never says “excuse me.” There’s another clip available on Huffington Post where the pregnant 17 year-old gets an ultrasound and the technician makes the brilliant decision to perform one on six year-old Honey Boo Boo so she can see the chicken nuggets in her stomach. (Really.) I’ll say something nice – she’s a cute kid.