My hatred for John Mayer grows by the day. After spending several weeks firmly in the “Are they dating? For real?” category, it looks like Taylor Swift and John Mayer are closer than ever to confirming. And by “confirming” I do mean “Mayer couldn’t be discreet if his life depended on it.” In Touch Weekly has an exclusive “source” who claims that not only are Mayer and Swift dating, but that this 32-year-old King of Douches is putting his dirty, douchey mitts on Taylor. They’ve “hooked up” and Taylor spent the night in Mayer’s hotel room. Son of a…!

While HollywoodLife.com is reporting that John Mayer is dating Taylor Swift, In Touch can exclusively reveal that John told a friend that he and Taylor hooked up when they were both in Nashville, Tenn., on January 24.

According to a source, the couple met up several times, in public and private, and were first seen getting cozy in a recording studio. “She was sitting on John’s lap, her arms were around him, and she was talking in his ear,” says the source. “They were acting like teenagers.”

That night, John, 32, and Taylor, 20, dined at the restaurant Cabana and were joined by friends afterward. The couple left alone and went back to The Hermitage Hotel, where they arrived in the loading dock to avoid being spotted and were escorted to John’s suite, the source claims. Both of their reps deny the story.

But the source claims, “Taylor spent the night and enjoyed mid-morning room service before leaving his suite the next day.”

Though the source says that Taylor “adores” John, it seems the womanizer is up to his old ways, involving yet another starlet in boosting his career. When asked by a friend how his night with Taylor went, John laughed, and boasted, “How do you think it went?”

[From In Touch Weekly]

I totally believe this happened. I think Swifty is a sweet girl with horrible taste in men. And, you know, she’s 20 years old and she’s been living in her girlish fame bubble for several years, and perhaps that’s why she thinks John Mayer is “cool” or “hot” or “not King of the Douches”. I really hoped Swifty had a better head on her shoulders and would be able to see through Mayer’s bullsh-t, but I don’t think so.

Would you like further confirmation of their relationship? The National Enquirer reports that Swifty’s mom is trying to pry her away from Mayer. Good luck with that, mom. Seriously:

Taylor’s mom Andrea made her disapproval of John Mayer clear, say sources.

“Andres pulled John aside and told him point blank to back off,” and insider says. “She said a friendship was fine, but there was no way he’d get close enough to Taylor to break her heart if she had anything to say about it.”

Andrea is concerned about Mayer’s reputation as a partier, womanizer, and pot smoker. But despite her concerns, Mayer and Swift continue to go on dates in Los Angeles and Nashville. It was at the Crossroads taping in Nashville that Andrea pulled Mayer aside again.

“Right after John performed Andrea pulled him aside and basically told him to keep his hands off her daughter… she’s all for music collaborations, but she couldn’t get past his baggage.”

And according to the source, John didn’t put up a fight.

“All John could do was to offer Andrea a compliment on raising a lovely daughter… he said he understood completely, and it was his honor enough to call Taylor his friend.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, February 15, 2010]

Of course Mayer “didn’t put up a fight”. He either A) Had already slept with Taylor and gotten what he wanted and was preparing to dump her or B) was fully prepared to pay lip service to Taylor’s mom, then go to Taylor and use her mother’s words to create the image of a man who just can’t keep away from the woman he loves, no matter what anyone says. My opinion: Mayer is a manipulative psychopath. Mama Swifty needs to lock up Taylor until she comes to her senses.

Apparently, Hollywood has run out of original ideas and has taken it upon themselves to remake every classic movie- thereby ruining them for generations of fans. “Psycho,” “The Omen,” “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” are some examples of recent victims. Also rumored to be on the remake block are “Grease,” which may star Jessica Simpson (gag), and now “Rosemary’s Baby.” The classic camp horror film that launched the careers of Roman Polanski and Mia Farrow is said to be getting the makeover treatment by “Transformers” and “Armageddon” auteur Michael Bay. Why, Hollywood, WHY?

I’m really trying to hold back with the rage while sharing this news. The above image describes it pretty well. Mia Farrow, I imagine, fells similarly. Here we go. Checking the thesaurus for pleasant adjectives.

Michael Bay, genius American auteur responsible for classics ranging from the delicate fairy tale Armageddon to the sublimely moving Pearl Harbor, is spearheading the production of yet another classic horror remake. After adding millions of dollars of terrific production design and Jessica Biel’s ample acting talents to Tobe Hooper’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre, IWatchStuff.com is reporting that Bay’s next task as horror-remake-producer could be Rosemary’s Baby, Roman Polanski’s suspense classic about a pixieish young woman impregnated with Satan’s spawn. Based on Ira Levin’s chilling, darkly funny novel about cultural paranoia and religious fanaticism, this great American classic has been screaming for a remake produced by the director of Bad Boys, Con Air, Bad Boys 2, and Transformers. Satan will finally receive his wish.

[From Getty Images Movie Blog]

I’m really trying to understand two key things here:
1) Why can’t Hollywood come up with decent new stories to tell on film anymore? Why violate beloved classic movies that people enjoy in their original form?
2) Who the hell thought Michael Bay would be a good choice for this particular remake? Instead of creepy suspense, is the new version of ‘Rosemary’s Baby’ going to have explosions, CGI robots and fight scenes?

I’ll be skipping this one and watching my original at home on DVD, thank you very much.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Michael Bay (along with Josh Duhamel) at the Transformers Movie Tokyo Premiere on July 24th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Stories like these are why I became a writer – this is one of my rare serious moments. Paris Hilton is currently rehearsing for her new role in “Repo! The Genetic Opera.” I’ll wait while you process that.

“The movie, based on a successful theatrical production by Terrence Zdunich and Darren Smith, is about an organ failure epidemic in 2056 that forces people to purchase genetically perfect ones from Geneco, a biotech company committed to collecting regular payments.

“’The idea is that everybody is buying up organs, and they cannot afford to pay for these organs,’ director Darren Lynn Bousman recently told MTV. ‘Thus, legalized organ repo-men come into the picture. Murder becomes sanctioned by law. So, if you buy a heart and can’t afford it, someone can burst through the door and take your heart out… and they don’t get in trouble for it.’”

[From Canada.com]

All of the dialogue in “Repo! The Genetic Opera” is sung. Paul Sorvino will play Geneco’s owner, and Hilton will play his daughter. The movie also stars Alexa Vega from “Spy Kids” and Tobin Bell from “Saw.” Paris refused to comment specifically on the movie, but did tell E! News that she was currently rehearsing for a “’very cool and unique project…We’re just in the studio. We’re doing dance and singing.’”

This makes my heart sing. I didn’t actually see Paris in “House of Wax” but I have read enough jokes about it that I feel I know the movie well enough to join in. And I didn’t buy her “album,” but again I’ve heard enough smack talked about it that I think it’s fair of me to say this: when you put Paris’s previous acting and singing skills together, you don’t come out with much. It’s kind of like that basic math you learned in third grade, that if you multiply anything by zero, no matter what it was you had in the first place, you end up with nothing. And Paris Hilton is that great big zero. I’d make a joke about how maybe that repo man came and reposed her brain… or her talent… or her conscious… or her [fill in whatever vapid Paris characteristic you’d like here] but that would be too easy, so I won’t.

Update by Celebitchy: Along with appearing in that rock opera in Canada, Paris is trying to breathe new life into what was considered a failed music career. She was shooting a music video this weekend, and rapper Akon has launched a public appeal to get her to sign on to his record label. He says “I would definitely sign her to my label ‘cos she’s a character. You give her the cutest record, something that’s just for women, an anthem; I think it will be outta here!” [From Net Music Countdown] I would just like to see Paris get dry humped on stage by Akon – only if she was willing. There’s nothing funny about simulated rape. It doesn’t seem to me like she would object, though.

Another update: This is a movie, not a play as I originally assumed based on the title.

Picture of Paris leaving the studio this weekend from Splash News.