Last night was the LA premiere of Battleship, and these are some of the dong-tastic photos, for your viewing pleasure. Should we do this old-school Hot Guy Friday? Or should we do it “Who would you rather?”-style? I’m undecided. You just pick your fantasy dude and let your mind wander. Considering I think most of you enjoy the SWEDISH THUNDER and VIKING DONG of Alexander Skarsgard, let’s start with him. I really, really love that Alexander takes the time to get a nice suit and have it tailored for his crazy tall, long, Viking body. That suit is fantastic on him. The tie? Not so much. That tie is totally a retro knit, and while that might be “in style” right now, it also seems “off” with the suit. Still, who would really kick him out of bed? VIKING THUNDER.

As for the other dudes of Battleship… the only ones I’m really interested in post-Skarsgard are Taylor Kitsch and Liam Neeson. Liam is an “always and forever” dude for me, and I think for most women. I don’t know why he keeps signing on to do these dumb movies, but I always enjoy seeing him on a red carpet. As for Kitsch… well, some of you enjoy him. After a brief flirtation with photos of him, I’m now kind of over it. He’s not my type. Alex and Liam are my type.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Promotion for The Avengers is the gift that keeps on giving. It’s not that any of the stars are saying anything ground-breaking or noteworthy – it’s just that I’m enjoying the photos so, so much. Last night was the big London premiere of The Avengers, and just like in Moscow, most of the dudes were present and accounted for. I have to wonder – why does Jeremy Renner get so little love from photographers?

Since this is such an overwhelming sausage party, I’m just going to talk about these dudes all at once instead of trying to break them down. All of the guys looked fine in their suits, and I’m still trying to figure out if I prefer Robert Downey Jr. or Mark Ruffalo. It’s the Sophie’s Choice of dong, I swear. Meanwhile, Tom Hiddleston is completely beloved by the English photographers – he was one of the most photographed men there. And Sam Claflin was there too…he’s not in the movie, though. Guess he just wanted to see it.

Chris Hemsworth still isn’t doing it for me. I’ll just hand him off to Bedhead – she seems to enjoy him. I do like that Chris posed so consistently with his preggo wife, Elsa Pataky. They seem cute together. Tom Hiddleston even got into the action, posing for photos with his ear to Elsa’s bump!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I’m running on fumes at this point, but I wanted to do a post for the men of the Golden Globes, because there were some fine specimens of dong-dom on display. One of the rare surprises and highlights of the evening – for me – was Idris Elba’s win as Best Actor for Luther. When he got up to give his speech, you could just feel it in the room – every woman was like, “HOT DAMN, Idris is speakin’.” He was gracious and cool and off-the-cuff, and obviously, he’s even hotter when you hear him speak. For now, just enjoy the photos.

Unfortunately, we don’t have access to any photos of Michael Fassbender. Twenty-million photos of Paula Patton and Nicole Richie (ugh), but Fassy was largely ignored on the red carpet, and the only time the camera panned to him was during the Best Actor thing. But I loved that George gave the Fassdong a shout-out. Love the finger bite too. Jesus, imagine that finger… nevermind. That was way too dirty.

How cute is Ewan McGregor? He got a lovely shout-out from his on-screen dad, Christopher Plummer too.

Jean Dujardin is really sexy, I think. I like his accent, and I love his face. He’s a sweetheart.

I get hot for Peter Dinklage. There, I said it.

Channing Tatum: Beefcake. He managed to perform his presenting duties better than Mark Wahlberg.

In lieu of my favorite ginger (Fassy), I’ll always take Damien Lewis. I love him, and he’s an amazing actor. I’m thrilled that Homeland won! It’s such a good show, and Damien acted his ass off in it.

UGGIE!!!!! Cutest thing on the carpet.

Mark Darcy. I mean Colin Firth. DING-DONG!!! He looks fab.

Gerard Butler really is trying to win me back, you know. Just think about this… Fassbender, Gerard Butler and Idris Elba, all in the same place at the same time. Nice, right?

A little Brad Pitt, because I know the ladies love some Pitt. Why are his lips always chapped these days?

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame.

Michael Fassbender & Viggo Mortensen. Some of you think Fassie and Viggo look alike. Some of you think that 53-year-old Viggo looks better/younger than 34-year-old Michael. Some of you don’t even “get” the Fassdong obsession. Come to the dark side, my loves. The Dark Side has well endowed Irish-German hustlers and twinkling blue eyes. The Dark Side will rock your world. And as for Viggo… well, I’d still hit it. But I’d just want him to get a haircut first.

Jason Momoa. My Momoa crush came and went so quickly, I almost forgot about him. Yes, he’s beautiful and hot and pretty and sexy. He’s also dumb as a box of hair, and the movie-going audience doesn’t really want to see him as a lead actor. For now. Does that mean we can still lust after him? Of course. He doesn’t need to be smart. It’s nice to have some equal-opportunity eye candy around here – Jason can just stand around and look pretty, and that’s all we need for now.

Eric Bana. The Bana is perfect. He’s a great actor, he’s funny, he’s complicated, he’s adorable and mind-numbingly sexy all at once. I love him.

Idris Elba. He made the short list for People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive, which was an unexpected gift. Maybe People Mag’s editors don’t hate our vaginas after all? No, they do. Bradley Cooper is evidence of that. Still, Idris’s sexiness crosses all bounds, nationalities, races, creeds, and religions. Just don’t ever check out his music, though.

Benedict Cumberbatch. The ‘Batch is an acquired taste, and I only got into him after I saw the new BBC Sherlock series. He’s so oddly beautiful, so delightfully strange. Plus, he’s really tall and he’s got a great voice. Love him.

James McAvoy. That was a good segue, right? From the ‘Batch to the McAvoy. I don’t even need to put down a reason for why you should love James. He’s wonderful and amazing and adorable. And look, I don’t want to be annoying, but check out McAvoy’s bulge. The little guy is packing.

David Gandy. Much like Jason Momoa – Gandy doesn’t have to speak. He just needs to stand around looking pretty. That’s good enough for me.

Tahar Rahim. By repeated request by a small but devoted band of Rahim-loonies. I think his face is too “sweet” to be considered truly sexy, but he’s got great eyes.

Matt Smith. He doesn’t do it for me, but I know there are lots of nerdy Dr. Who fanatics out there who get totally hot for him. Enjoy!

Joel McHale (By CB). Joel has replaced Matt Damon in my fantasies. He just turned 40(!) and you can see some funny footage of an interview he gave at his birthday party on E!. Unfortunately it looks like “Community” has been canceled (which Dani Pudi confirms in that video) but there’s always “The Soup,” where we loved him more anyway.

Donald Glover (By CB). Also from “Community,” we have Donald Glover, 28. If Glover seems like a dimwit goofball, that’s just because he’s such a good actor. Glover has a movie coming up called “The To-Do List” with Connie Britton and Rachel Bilson. I would love to see him get more work. He’s hilarious and has perfect comic timing.

Will Estes (By CB). This guy is on “Blue Bloods,” and seeing him on screen is the highlight of that show. Of course there’s also Donnie Wahlberg and a still-hot Tom Selleck, but Estes steals every scene he’s in. He has a baby face, but he’s all of 33 so I don’t have to feel guilty for lusting after him.

Adam Yamaguchi (By CB). I’ve been watching the documentary series Vanguard, on Current TV, and I find myself staring open-mouthed whenever Yamaguchi is on. He’s fine, he’s smart and he cares about things that matter. You can check him out here.

Henry Cavill (by Bedhead) I am thankful for the fact that the new Superman, while British, possesses an authentic six pack instead of those newfangled CGI abdominals very popular with the likes of Ryan Reynolds. Also, Cavill is still humble despite the fact that he’s so bloody gorgeous and about to become huge. Can I please have him over to my house for the holidays?

Chris Evans (by Bedhead) This guy’s had an incredible year and should only get better in the near future. Yes, Evans looks as if he’s perpetually about to burst into tears, and his waxed nips are quite possibly outweighed by his neuroses. Yet I still adore him and am thankful for actors who actually anguish over their budding careers rather than sign onto any project that will have them.

Jeremy Renner (by Bedhead) This guy isn’t classically handsome in any sense of the word, but he’s still quite captivating and the only reason that I’d watch the upcoming Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol (Tom Cruise who?). In addition, he sight of Renner carrying Hawkeye’s crossbow is, well, delicious. Between him and Evans, The Avengers will provide some much needed eye candy. Did I mention Renner’s cute little (NSFW) butt? Yeah, I’m thankful for that too.

Denzel Washington (by Bedhead) Since I just rewatched Training Day a few evenings ago, Denzel is fresh in my mind, and I am thankful that he is such a diverse actor. While he certainly has appeared in his fair share of cinematic stinkers, he always turns in authentic performances and looks mighty fine while doing so too.

Timothy Olyphant (by Bedhead) Most of all, I am thankful for the sexy swagger of Olyphantastic. Not only does he have the lanky body type that I appreciate, but he knows how to work it without a conscious strut. Swagger is a very subtle art form, and I can’t wait until early 2012 when “Justified” hits the airwaves again. More Olyphant. That is all.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame, PCN, Details, GQ, Entertainment Weekly, the Wall Street Journal, Essence, and assorted other publications.

I actually do miss Hot Guy Fridays. I don’t miss the work and the time it took to do them all of the time, but I miss having a few hours each week dedicated to looking at photos of hot dudes. We’re going to be doing a very special Hot Guy Friday for Thanksgiving (Thanksgiving Dong?) too. Mark your calenders!

Anyway, I was just looking at these photos of Ewan McGregor and wishing I had something more to say about him besides “Damn, he’s hot. I love him.” So I decided to piece together some random photos of some hot guys that came in this week for a little mini Hot Guy Friday. Here’s Ewan looking like he wants to spank you (and you’ll like it too, bitch). If you couldn’t tell, Ewan is my pick for “Who Would You Rather?”

Here’s Colin Farrell on the set of Seven Psychopaths. I like his hair these days, and he looks very fit and sexy. I’ll always have a soft spot for dirty Irishmen, though. You don’t have to cosign.

And here’s Christopher Meloni earlier this week, doing a photo op for the Empire State Building. I’m not a fan of his scruff, but I adore him so much.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

Paul Bettany and Jennifer Connelly. I think Jennifer and Paul are maybe the sexiest actor-couple right now. Yeah, you could make the argument for Angelina and Brad, or Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz, but for my money, Paul and Jennifer are perfect, because they are both my type – she’s a tough, smart brunette beauty, and he’s a ginger and an Englishman. The photo of Jennifer in the black bra… yeah, that’s why Paul is a lucky bastard. And the way he looks at her, the way his arm is always out for her to take… that’s why she’s a lucky bitch. I want them both. Oh, and just prepare yourselves, because there’s a lot of love for gingers in this list.

Julianne Moore. GINGER FIRE. And Julianne was born with it. She’s aging so beautifully, and she’s not messing with her face and I just love her, okay? She’s so sexy to me, but beyond my attraction to her, I just simply LIKE her.

Rufus Sewell. I’ve always liked him because he seems rather smarmy, and he’s got an accent, and that’s basically all I need, but for the past two weeks, PBS Masterpiece Mystery has been airing Zen, where Rufus plays a cop in Rome. It’s a really good show, and Rufus wanders around Rome like he just stepped out La Dolce Vida, wearing smart Armani suits and being all ethical and smart and sexy. I love him now.

Emily Deschanel. It’s not even about Emily’s body for me, although she does have a lovely figure (she’s one of the few women on television who seems to gain weight as her show – Bones – goes season to season). It’s about her beautiful, impossible, incredible face! I love her face. She’s like the television version of Angelina Jolie, as far as beauty goes. All of those features together should be very strange, but they all somehow work to make a strikingly beautiful woman.

Christina Hendricks. GINGER FIRE. Also: BOOB FIRE. Christina may have hit-or-miss styles, but can we all agree that the rack is incredible? And the ginger is quite something too. With all of the boobage and the ginge, you know what goes unnoticed and unremarked on? Christina has a sexy voice. It’s girly and feminine and sexy without her doing a Paris Hilton-like “sexy baby” voice.

Sam Rockwell. He’s not traditionally “handsome”. But I love him. He reminds me of my dog, honestly, and I adore my dog. They both have sweet eyes and they seem eager to please. I didn’t mean anything gross about my dog, okay? I’m not having sex with my dog. But I’d like to do something doggy-style with Sam.

Kelly Brook. Perfect hourglass figure. Perfect proportions. Sigh… I want. That’s all I’ve got. I still can’t decide whether I’d rather have her body in place of mine, or whether I’d like to just spend the night with her.

Paula Malcomson (By CB) I’ve been watching Deadwood on HBO Go, and damned if there aren’t so many attractive people in that show. Paula plays Trixie, and she’s feisty and so lovely to watch. She’ll lift up her skirt just as soon as she’ll shoot you. Like Kaiser I love the gingers. Paula is Irish, and she’s also been on Lost and Sons of Anarchy. She’s about to make her big screen debut as Katniss’ mom in The Hunger Games. I was so excited to read that today and I can’t wait to see her.

John Hawkes (By CB) Hawkes plays Sol Star on Deadwood and I adore his character’s matter-of-fact demeanor and the straight way he plays him. I know he’s not traditionally hot, but there’s something so attractive about his piercing blue eyes and floppy hair. He’s an incredible actor too. Hawkes was nominated for an academy award for best supporting actor last year for Winter’s Bone.

Deborah Ann Woll (By CB) Here’s another ginger, the gorgeous 25 year-old actress who plays Jessica Hamby on True Blood. She’s so strikingly pretty and she could easily be vamping it up on the red carpet, but she plays it safe in comparatively conservative dresses. Her boyfriend, E.J. Scott, is legally blind and she advocates for awareness of his condition, a degenerative eye disorder called choroideremia. I also was able to find out that she dyes her hair that gorgeous red color at home. She just seems so lovely and down to earth.

Nelsan Ellis (By CB) A lot of people have the mistaken belief that this Ellis is gay, since he so convincingly plays flamboyant character Lafayette on True Blood. He has a longterm female partner though and a son. Whichever way he swings, you cannot deny that Ellis is the sex.

Asia Argento (by Bedhead) Not only is this Italian woman blindingly gorgeous, but she can wear the hell out of almost any dress on the red carpet. Furthermore, Asia’s also made a huge splash with her acting career and managed to step out of her father’s shadow in her own right. She’s also kooky as hell and has a real sense of humor about herself, so it’s easy to imagine hanging out with her, having a few drinks, and well, you know…

Alyssa Milano (by Bedhead) I’ve had a girl crush on this one since she graced the pages of Tiger Beat and Bop magazine on a monthly basis. Somehow, Alyssa managed to shed the “child star” curse and graduate into full-fledged adult actress. Of course, she’s always best on the small screen where one can appreciate her in the privacy of one’s own living room.

Trent Reznor (by Bedhead) Sigh, what can I say about this guy? For starters, he’s the master of angst and as sullen as they come, but Reznor’s devoted legion of fans will never desert him. Even though he’s worked through most of his anger, he can still deliver just as much in concert as when he was previously coked up to the gills. Score one for sobriety, and (NSFW link) God Save The Keyboards.

Melanie Laurent (by Bedhead) Thank goodness for Quentin Tarantino, who unearthed this little French treasure for all of us yanks to enjoy as well. Melanie can convey such intensity with her performances, but I find her most captivating when she tosses back her head in laughter on the red carpet. Such joie de vivre, no?

Eva Green (by Bedhead) She’s positively gorgeous without a doubt, but a lot of what I love about this woman has to do with her attitude. Eva is so smoky, sultry and just plain bloody weird. I’d even go so far to wager that she’d be fantastic in bed; yet the truth of the matter is that, in person, she’d probably freak me out so much that I’d run like hell.

Amy Smart (by Bedhead) I’ve always found Amy to be positively adorable, and she’s a perfectly competent actress. It’s too bad that she gets stuck in a lot of trash, whether it’s straight-to-DVD or otherwise. Perhaps she’ll finally get that big mainstream break one day, or maybe I’ll just stay content to watch her under the radar.

Guy Ritchie (by Bedhead) Fortunately, he’s no longer known as Mr. Madonna, and he was always too good for her anyway. Ah yes, I adore a bloke with a lovely English accent and especially one who makes movies featuring characters with fetching Cockney accents. Quite simply, Ritchie’s an Anglophile’s wet dream come true.

Tilda Swinton. (By Kaiser) She’s not really a girl or a guy, honestly, but we can’t really have a “Hot Alien Friday” can we? She’s a mixture of David Bowie, a cat, and a Rolls Royce, all mixed up in some kind of alien hybrid and we can just enjoy her for what she is: strange and beautiful and our Alien Dessert of the week. And Perfect.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN, domestic & international editions of Vogue, Elle, Vanity Fair, GQ, Details, Esquire, Entertainment Weekly, Google Images.

Hot Guy Comic-Con! Wouldn’t it be funny if I just found lots of photos of all of the fan/nerd-attendees dressed as Hobbits and such, and just put those photos up? Ha! You’re in luck, though, because it seems like there was some pretty good dongage (we must make that a word) in San Diego over the past few days. Let’s start with Daniel Craig at last night’s Comic-Con premiere of Cowboys & Aliens, wearing a good suit, no tie and a pocket-kerchief. He looks damn good to me. He also looks… different. More content, I think. Maybe it’s his marriage to Rachel Weisz, but Daniel seems more accessible, and like he’s enjoying himself more.

Here’s Henry Cavill, who we always get HGF requests for. It’s not that I don’t acknowledge that he’s good looking – he is. He’s just sort of bland, in my opinion. Vanilla.

Sam Rockwell at the C&A premiere last night – I would hit it. And then some. I would marry it and its babies. I love Sam Rockwell so much.

Justin Chatwin. We’ve gotten requests for him before, I think. He’s totally cute. Boyish, not my type, but adorable.

For Bedhead: Walter Goggins at the Cowboys & Aliens premiere. You might also know him from Justified, but he looks totally at home at a nerd-fest. GET IT, BEDHEAD!

Harrison Ford at the C&A premiere – and no, he didn’t take off those stupid sunglasses at all. Every. Damn. Photo. Calista looks cute in her little dress, though.

Here’s Ian Somerhalder, blowing you a kiss while wearing a dumb hat. He’s very pretty, though. Wouldn’t you be worried that he was prettier than you?

Stephen Moyer, with a hint of Skarsgard. I’ve always found Moyer’s personality sexier than Alex’s.

And last but not least, COLIN FARRELL. This Irish boy… I know he would get me pregnant and dump me, but… I would totally be into it.

UPDATE: Thanks to Stacie for pointing out my omission of Jason Momoa. How could I forget him?!?

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Ralph Fiennes. I decided to make Ralph the headliner Hot Guy this week because of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the very end, the last time Ralph will ever be Lord Voldemort. Some would lead with Daniel Radcliffe, or the ginger, or even Alan Rickman. No offense to them, but I love a great villain. I love an actor who chews the scenes and really hams it up when he goes bad. Or maybe I just love Ralph… could be. I just find his face so beautiful, and I always have. Here’s to another 20 years of crushing hard on Ralph!

Joseph Fiennes. Why not another Fiennes boy? Joseph was adorable back in the day, although I think he’s rather lost his looks these days. Enjoy this little one-two punch of Fiennes boys.

Jason Bateman. I mean… come on! Jason Bateman is SO sexy. Look at his little mischievous grin, his boyish face. This mofo is 42 years old, and he doesn’t look a day over 30. Clean living? Or do secretly naughty men never age?

Sam Worthington. Sam is usually CB’s kind of guy – I’ve always disliked him because he comes across as such a vapid meathead. But sometimes meatheads have their places, and maybe I’m just feeling guilty after lusting after guys who are inappropriately young for me, but I’m giving Sam another look these days. Sigh… still a meathead, but he has his charm.

Tony Leung. You may know him from his work in films like Lust, Caution and 2046. He’s one of the biggest stars in Asia, and one of the most demand actors in the world. Plus, you know, he’s really sexy. He knows how to wear a suit, he knows how to look into the camera, and he knows how to not give everything away and yet still seem… nude.

Robert Sheehan. A request, via Twitter. Robert was on Misfits, which I’ve never watched, and in some photos, he definitely gives off a young “Welcome Back, Kotter” vibe. But he has beautiful eyes, and I’d be willing to bet that whenever I sit down and watch Misfits, I will probably fall in love with him.

Joseph Gordon Levitt. Another request! You bitches love some JGL. I think it’s because he seems like a more old-fashioned, upstart movie star. JGL would be at home in the 1950s, I think, especially with that gorgeous profile. He would have worked with Gene Kelly and Audrey Hepburn, I think.

Josh Holloway. Oh, Josh. I can’t resist you. I don’t even really care about blonde men… but you are the exception to the rule. I can’t quit you. Those dimples… that smile. Those eye crinkles. The Holloway.

Dean Winters (By CB) We’ve featured Dean before by request, but now that I’ve been watching Oz on HBO Go I really get his appeal. He’s a great actor, he does conniving very well and while he may have been hotter in his 30s he’s still got it now. Props to Winters for not getting hair plugs and for owning his hair loss. (I find that hot, really I do.) I still find those Allstate commercials annoying though.

Mehcad Brooks (By CB) Mehcad played Eggs on True Blood and is now on USA’s Necessary Roughness. He used to be a Calvin Klein underwear model and he’s kept that amazing body. Plus his voice is so deep, sexy and soothing.

Joel McHale (By CB) Joel comes in as a request to Kaiser on Twitter and she of course passed it to me because I love him. I miss seeing a new Community every week, but there’s still The Soup, where Joel has me laughing and swooning at the same time.

Kit Harington (By CB) Kit plays Jon Snow on Game of Thrones and if you haven’t checked out this incredible series yet then take advantage of the summer lull in programming to savor it. Be forewarned though, it can be brutal at times and it’s filled with incredibly attractive men in period costume. Kit is a 24 year-old British newcomer and I just love his deep brown eyes and subtle performances.

Matthew Lewis (By CB) This is another request, and this British actor is all of 22 now. Can you believe this is Neville freaking Longbottom from Harry Potter? Lewis is the hot guy at the reunion that you find yourself staring at. He has to come over and remind you that you turned him down for the prom. Just two years ago this kid was still awkward and now he’s a handsome devil along with being a movie star.

Henry Cavill (by Bedhead) He was great in “The Tudors,” and now Cavill’s preparing himself to conquer Yank territory as well. Although some critics were quite vocal in their protest regarding this Brit taking on the Superman role in Zack Snyder’s upcoming Man of Steel reboot, let’s just give him a chance to prove his delicious self, shall we?

Norman Reedus (by Bedhead) This guy once dated supermodel Helena Christensen, but Reedus is no pretty boy. While he’s still attempting to live down his role as the titular “Judas” from the Lady Gaga video, cult fans will always lovingly remember him as one of the MacManus brothers from The Boondock Saints movies. He’s got a cute smile too but, sadly, never shows it on the red carpet.

Jamie Hince (by Bedhead) Although the world-at-large might recognize Mr. Hince only as Mr. Moss, I’ve had a bit of a thing for this scruffy guy for a few years already. While he’s not classically handsome in any sense, he’s got a very broken-in appeal and a style all his own, particularly when he’s singing onstage with his band, The Kills. If you don’t see the sexy, this music video might help a bit.

Jeffrey Donovan (by Bedhead) While “Burn Notice” fans might disagree with this statement, I find Jeffrey Donovan most fetching in his sporty incarnation as an amateur tennis player. However, he’s also otherwise pretty good looking and not bad at the acting thing either, particularly in The Changeling.

Timothy Olyphant (by Bedhead) This cowboy has the most sexually-charged killer swagger in existence. Over the past few years, Olyphant is finally getting his due thanks to a career-defining role as Deputy U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens in “Justified” (for which he just received an Emmy nomination). Previously, he was an under-the-radar favorite in HBO’s “Deadwood” series as well as countless movie roles. One of his most impressive moves, however, has been to use his entire body to kiss a woman into certifiable insanity (which is probably the only instance that I’ve ever envied Jennifer Garner). Hell, they don’t call him Olyphantastic for nothing.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame, PRPhotos, Vanity Fair, GQ, Details, Esquire, Flaunt, W Magazine, Entertainment Weekly, Google Images.

Ewan McGregor. Ewan has a new movie out called Beginners, but that’s not the reason I chose him as our headliner this week. I chose him because I was overcome by lust just looking through one page of photos of him. He’s just… lovely. He has that rare combination of having both a beautiful AND an interesting face. He’s so expressive and I feel both lustful and amused when looking at him. Plus, he just seems like a sweet guy. He’s the kind of dude who brings his grandmother to the Scottish Film Festival… and holds her hand the entire time. He’s the kind of dude who takes off his kit “for the sisters”. Now, he may or may not have been having some kind of illicit affair with Melanie Laurent. I believe he and Melanie boned – but I also think he and his wife have an open marriage. Which means that all of us may have a chance…?

David Gandy. I threatened to make Gandy the headliner this week, but when it came time to actually do it, I backed down. Gandy isn’t as beloved around here as he is in my pants. When you look at him, you tend to think “Pretty, probably gay.” I think, “Pretty, not my type, but HOT DAMN.” There’s something about him… I’m even getting over this whole “boning a dumb famewhore girl-bander who gives interviews about him after only dating him for a few weeks” thing.

Matt Bomer. BOMER!!! He’s America’s David Gandy, only somehow prettier and fancier. I love him, even though I’m pretty sure he would only go for me if I had a dong. Still, I enjoy looking at him. White Collar is back on, and this season is pretty good already. I like “the hook” so far – I was so tired of the whole “mourning the dead girlfriend, who turns out was just playing him” storyline last season. But I always giggle at all of the completely gratuitous shirtlessness from Bomer on the show. Like, he just walks around shirtless and completely waxed, flexing as he answers the door. It’s ridiculous.

Daniel Henney. Daniel is Korean, and he’s very pretty. In the black and white photos, he borders on “too beautiful” for my taste – I don’t like my men exotic and delicate-featured, but that’s just my taste. There’s one recent photo of him – with the short hair, looking like he gained some weight in his face – that I really like. I’m attracted to him when he looks less like a lithe, androgynous model and more like a dude.

Sean Bean. Oh, Sean. He came in as a request on Twitter, but he’s made HGF before, to mixed results. The LOTR people love him, as do some of BBC-fanatics who love his work in British television. For me, I’ve just seen him in a handful of movies, and I think he’s The Sex. I’m not saying he’s a good guy or anything, he just seems hardcore, rather rough-and-tumble, in every sense. I like that quality in a man. Enjoy.

Joel Kinnaman. Joel is my boyfriend, you may remember, although since The Killing’s Season One finale, my love/lust for Joel has waned. He’s a tremendous actor, but he’s on a show with a nut job narcissist show runner and producers and writers who need to take their heads out of their asses. So… while I still love Joel, here’s hoping that The Killing is merely his launching pad to bigger, better and more well-written things.

Rob Lowe (by CB): Rob comes in by request, which makes me wonder what took us so long. This man is 47 years old, and he obviously takes very good care of himself. He’s been married for 20 years, has two kids and has somehow kept his boyishly good looks without looking plucked or pulled. Throughout it all he’s maintained 20 years of sobriety and a good degree of humor about fame and scandals. He seems like a kinky bastard too, doesn’t he?

Ferran Calderon (By CB): Ferran is a Spanish model and he came in as a request. He’s absolutely breathtaking, but a little skinny for my taste. I would gladly spend a month or two with him lazing around on a Spanish isle, scheduling our days around cooking, eating and pausing for sex. Spanish men are so charming in my sadly limited experience. I’ve only been to Barcelona once, and dated one Spanish guy in college but he was just the sweetest guy and so romantic.

Ian Somerhalder (By CB): We’ve enthusiastically done Ian before, and he comes in as another request. He used to be my second favorite on Vampire Dairies after Paul Wesley, but now I’m more into Ian. (The show got too ridiculously complicated for me this season though and I haven’t seen the last few episodes.) He’s a talented actor and there’s something so over the top sexy about the way he plays deviant Damon, like he’s campy and he knows it. Ian is dating his co-star Nina Dobrev and they recently went public with their relationship. They look so loved up and it’s kind of heart warming.

Denzel Washington (By CB): Denzel is getting up in years, but he still has it doesn’t he? He’s the commanding presence, the vigilante with a purpose, the man in power who can seduce you with a quick look. He plays guys who don’t take sh*t and know exactly what they want, and that’s how I imagine he is every day. His deep voice does it for me every time.

Mark Consuelos (by Bedhead) Okay, so he’s “soap opera” hot, but I think Mr. Kelly Ripa is pretty damn fine and so suavely swoonworthy. It’s something about that brilliantly white smile, methinks. Also, Mark’s in the running to replace Regis Philbin; if that happens, then we’ll be able to drool over him during our morning coffee every day.

Rufus Sewell (by Bedhead) Ah, I do love a strapping Englishman just about any day of the week, and Rufus is a very intense one at that. In particular, I really loved his performance in Dark City opposite Jennifer Connelly, whose character completely forgot that she was married to him. Crazy sceenwriters — that could never happen!

Samuel L. Jackson (by Bedhead) This crazy motherf&@#cker has such personality and a great career to boot, but I’m pretty sure he’d also be a great drinking buddy too. Just think of all of themotherf&@#ing stories he could tell…

Matt LeBlanc (by Bedhead) I know that LeBlanc isn’t really Joey Tribbiani, but since that was always my favorite “Friends” character, I can’t help but think of him that way and want him to walk up to me with a sly, “How YOU doin’?” Plus, he’s turned into quite the silver fox these days.

Spike Jonze (by Bedhead) While this guy’s not classically handsome in any sense of the word, there’s just something rather endearing (albeit a bit too hipster) about him. He makes pretty good movies, and those dimples are a hell of a lot nicer than Kellan Lutz’s dimples! Less creepy too.

Gabriel Aubry (By CB): Aubry lost some major points for dating Kim Kardashian, but I suppose that could also be interpreted as meaning he’s that much more accessible for the rest of us. This guy is so pretty he turns heads and fuels countless fantasies just walking down the street.

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Michael Fassbender. Michael is on the cusp. Granted, many, many people know who he is. But after X-Men: First Class comes out and makes a bajillion dollars, Michael will be a bona fide movie star, and everybody’s going to want a piece of the Fassdong. I saw him first! Not really, but I have been enamored for several years now. I think it was his jaw line that first won me over. Then it was his ginger. Then his lovely Irish accent. Then his cute butt. And then his acting chops, and finally, his dong. That’s where I am now. I know, I know. I’ve been bitching and moaning about this Zoe Kravitz thing, but the truth of the matter is that I like my dudes a little bit dirty, skeevy and perverted, which is how Fassdong has been coming across lately. Zoe’s not underage, she’s just… I guess she’s just “easy” for him, especially after his somewhat crazy, hyper-dramatic relationship with his ex, Sunawin Andrews. Sigh… just don’t yell at me and let me enjoy My Man, okay? Here, I’ll share.

James McAvoy. Good husband, good father, good actor, glorious bulge, gorgeous Scottish brogue and beautiful blue eyes. I’m worried that James’s version of Professor X will be a little too… smarmy and goody-two-shoes. But I have high hopes that Prof. X was, much like James, a total badass in his youth. Fingers crossed. Oh, and I seriously don’t think he’s January Jones’s baby-daddy. I just don’t see it.

P.S. On the McAvoy & Fassbender tip, Allison @ PopSugar sent me her absolutely hilarious interview with the two dudes. There’s so much beauty contained in this video, I can’t even speak. Fassbender jokes about boning McAvoy’s wife, he talks about “the ginger community” and how gingers are awesome, and McAvoy is just gorgeous.

Liev Schreiber. He was in that X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie with Hugh Jackman – he played Victor Creed/Sabertooth. I’ve had a crush on Liev for years and years – I can remember being obsessed with him a decade ago. I like my dudes BIG, and this one is a giant. So, so tall, with that deep, rich voice and… gah! He likes blondes. He would never go for me. Sadness. Still, I can appreciate him.

Nicholas Hoult. After staring at photos of little Nicholas Hoult (the little boy from About A Boy, all grown up!), I finally understood it. First, that although I’m totally creepy for lusting after him, it’s okay because it’s all in the name of “research.” Two, Nicholas Hoult is our new Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. Hoult has the crazy-eyes. He has the look, that he could be up for anything, with anybody. He’s sexy in the way that women love, but there’s some feminine beauty in the mix too. Anyway, in X-Men: First Class, he plays Beast. That’s pretty hot.

Sir Ian McKellan. Ah, Sir Ian. Is it okay to have some lust for a little old Englishman who loves dong just as much as us? Sure! Because it’s about his voice. And his talent. He’s supremely talented, incredibly funny and witty, and he’s got that beautiful, rich voice. Ian could sell me anything with that voice. I think that’s why they chose Michael Fassbender to play the young Magneto – Magneto needs a beautiful, powerful voice, and Fassie has it.

Kevin Durand. Kevin was in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. He played Blob, or The Blob, or whatever you want to call him. As you know, I’ve been a fan of Kevin’s since Lost. His villain was just so… erotic. I had dreams about him. I keep telling you, I like ‘em with a healthy dose of skeeve.

Edi Gathegi (By CB): You may remember Gathegi as an underdeveloped (weren’t they all) menacing vampire from the Twilight movies. He wasn’t all that hot with the freaky eyes and the dreds, but when you take off the contacts his eyes are entrancing, not creepy. Gathegi plays Darwin in X Men: First Class and I don’t know much about him but I remember this video on Wonderwall where someone scared the crap out of him by jumping out of his closet. He took it all incredibly well and was laughing about it afterwards. He even had some quick reflexes.

Hugh Jackman (By CB): We’ve featured Hugh on HGF plenty of times in the past, and what would an X Men post be without Wolverine? I adore Hugh and wish we saw him in more leading roles. He’s a dedicated family man, a fabulous entertainer, and has one of the buffest bodies around. He doesn’t take himself too seriously either. Also, you can pick any random photo of this guy and he looks incredible every time. (Sometimes he’s a bit too orange, but I’ll overlook it.)

Kevin Bacon (By CB): It’s so nice to see some press about Bacon again now that he’s on X Men: First Class. I would say he hasn’t aged since Footloose, but that’s not true. He looks all of 42 and he’s 52, can you believe it? He’s also in no way smoothed, pulled or plumped out and he could have easily succumbed to plastic surgery considering that his friends and coworkers are doing it. Kevin has been with Kyra Sedgwick for 22 years and we’ve never heard a hint of a scandal about him. I find him incredibly sexy in a “sh*t I wish he was single” kind of way. You know he’d never go there, though.

James Marsden (By CB): I’ve only seen this guy in Hop and he was way too convincing as a goofy loser, so it’s hard for me to find him sexy. (As opposed to most HGF posts where we pick the guys we cover, we just divided the X-Men players up and I got Marsden by default.) Looking over his photos I get it, though. He’s incredibly good looking in a “high school sports star” kind of way. Plus, his smile just lights up the place. There are even photos of him at the airport with that goofy grin. He looks like a good guy.

Alan Cumming (by Bedhead) As Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler in X2, he is anything but attractive, but I have nothing but pure adoration for Alan Cumming himself. He can work just about any outfit on the red carpet, and that smile as well as those dimples and mischievous eyes could melt my little black heart in a moment.

Ryan Reynolds (by Bedhead) As a qualifier, this guy is really not my type at all, but he’s certainly got a legion of fans who drooled over him as Wade Wilson/Deadpool in X-Men Origins: Wolverine and will certainly do so for the upcoming Deadpool movie. Not that I’d kick a set of abs like that out of bed though…

Patrick Stewart (by Bedhead) As Charlex Xavier/Professor X in several of the movies (and as the voice in many video games), Stewart brought the exact type and amount of gravitas that the role demanded. His authoritative voice and no-nonsense demeanor could win compliance from even the non-comic book fans out there. Also, I sort of want to spit polish that shiny head of his.

Taylor Kitsch (by Bedhead) As Remy LeBeau/Gambit in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Kitsch was able to shed those pretty boy good looks on a temporary basis. Not for long though, and he really should work on some new poses because even hot guys could use some variation on the red carpet. Lately, he shocked his fans by chopping off his locks, and I can’t decide whether I like his “before” or “after” look better.

Ben Foster (by Bedhead) As Warren Worthington III/Angel in X-Men: The Last Stand, Foster has given us merely one of a line of diverse performances in movies and television. He’s an atypical cutie and has survived the task of being Zoe Kravitz’s boyfriend before she moved onto Michael Fassbender. Hopefully, he’s not too terribly broken up over it because they are plenty of us out here to pick up the leftovers.

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