Hulk Hogan just couldn’t be prouder of his loser son. What a great, supportive parent. Hulk told Us Weekly how much Nick learned in jail after doing 166 days for nearly killing his best friend, John Graziano, in a serious car crash. Hulk doesn’t believe in tough love or regular love or discipline. Instead he believes in telling his kids they are perfect no matter what they do, and then being surprised when they grow up to think it’s okay to nearly kill someone because you want to drive really fast on a road.

At his best, Hulk is capable of admitting that his son was good and is now great. That’s about as low as he’ll sink in his estimation of his little prince, who learned so much in jail.

Hulk Hogan is still dealing with his son, Nick’s, jail sentence for reckless driving.

“You know, I just had to regroup, and you know, just really rely on what was in my heart and what I believe in, ’cause Nick is my son 24 hours a day,” Hulk told E! Friday. “Whether he hits a home run, or whether he strikes out, he’s still my son.”

The wrestler says his estranged wife had a different attitude. “You know, Linda says because she was visiting in L.A., she’s not responsible in any way, shape or form what what happened,” he said. “Well, that’s not me.” Hulk says Nick has changed his life since getting out of jail Oct. 20.

“He was on a roll,” he said. “He was a young professional driver. He had the show going, and it all got real busy, and then when he went to jail, he got stripped of everything. He got stripped of clothes, of watches, he got stripped of his identity, and he found out what’s important in life,” Hulk added. “He knows what’s real, and what’s not real. And before he went in there, he was accountable, and he was responsible. And I think that’s what he found out in jail, the most important thing. He understands what is real life. You know, it’s about helping people, being positive, moving forward.

“He was a good kid before, he’s a great kid now,” Hulk says. “He’s not the same man he was when he went in there.”

[From Us Weekly]

The only funny thing about this whole situation is that the Hogans remain genuinely confused why everyone isn’t behind them and can’t understand why they’ve become so entirely reviled. The fact that Nick Hogan will ever have a day of happiness for the rest of his life makes me physically ill, considering how the rest of John Graziano’s days will be spent with ½ his skull gone. The Hogans have done nothing to show Nick that there are severe consequences for his actions. They’ve been too busy “being support” – which really means making excuses and acting like he’s the real victim.

Here’s Hulk Hogan at LAX in January. Images thanks to Bauer-Griffin.

Today I realized that it is physically impossible to write an article about Nick Hogan – or the Hogan family in general – without starting it off “Poor Nick Hogan,” followed by a bunch of comments about how hard his life is. But it is truly next to impossible to say anything about them that isn’t dripping with sarcasm. The other options are to be all-out mean or…. well to lie. There’s nothing good or redeeming to say about anyone in that family.

Brooke Hogan has the misfortune of not just being a member of that family but also being phenomenally, shockingly, “how are you able to breathe?” stupid. So she’s written a little blurb on her MySpace page about how little jailbird brother Nick is getting out of prison tomorrow. And just how hard it’s been on her. And on her family in general, but mostly it’s about Brooke, and all that she’s gone through. There’s a mention of John Graziano as an afterthought, but that’s about it.

Brooke Hogan’s brother Nick is leaving jail tomorrow – and she can’t wait. “I can’t even tell you, as a sister, how exciting this is for me!” she writes on her MySpace Celebrity page. “Nick and I are like best friends…and I can’t believe how long I’ve gone without him.”

Nick, 18, has been serving eight months in jail after pleading no contest to reckless driving charges stemming from an August 2007 crash that left his best friend, John Graziano, in critical condition. Thanks to his good behavior behind bars, he is being released from jail three months early.

“Not seeing him for six months has been really, really hard,” Brooke writes. “He always knows how to make me feel better or make me smile when I need it, and it’s been tough without having him there to hug me just at the right time, or crack a joke when I’m havin’ a bad day.”

She continues, “There have been a lot of supporters and a lot of haters that have come up to me and said things that have helped and things that made me feel like I couldn’t make it through another day… Some people wish terrible, terrible things on us and say the most nasty comments that I can’t even repeat on here… It really hurts.

“I understand people have their own opinion, but most of the people that come up to us don’t know the whole story or how much we really, really love John [the victim],” she says. “It’s really sad because we’re not bad people. We’re just going through a really hard time, and so is John’s family.

“All I ask is, instead of making this harder and putting evil things out there, you pray for John, and for us, and leave words of inspiration,” she writes. “John is gonna walk out of that hospital and things will be OK again. I know his strength, and I know he can do it with our prayers.”

Before signing off, Brooke writes, “I just can’t wait to see my Nicky! I’m gonna make him every kind of food you can possibly think of! He’s been living on bread and potatoes so far and I know some Mac-n-Cheese is gonna hit the spot! LOL”

[From Us Weekly]

Brooke already had some serious haters pointing her way before Nick nearly killed his best friend. People couldn’t stand her personality on her family’s ridiculous T.V. show – but it was her so-called singing career that really made her the butt of jokes. Along with looking like a tranny version of her father. Frankly the last thing this girl needed was more attention for people disliking her. But that’s her own doing – she’s constantly going on ridiculous MySpace rants about how awful everything has been for her family and how hard it is on them, yada yada yada. The essential point is that all that matters is the Hogans, and why doesn’t the rest of the world see that? What jerks.

I still wish really terrible things on this family, and hope every single moment of happiness that they would ever have experienced is sent the Grazianos way instead. If Brooke feels the need to request prayers, she should leave her family out of it and request that they go towards the victim, not the criminal.

Here’s Brooke Hogan outside the Setai Hotel after attending the Bejeweled Swimwear show at Funkshion Fashion Week in Miami Beach on October 1st. Images thanks to WENN.

Hulk Hogan seems to be a little confused about what generally happens after a kid goes to jail. More often than not, the parents divorce, the remaining children become violent or sexually promiscuous, and general misery befalls all who ever had the misfortune of coming into contact with the delinquent. There are a few exceptions here and there, but for the most part goodness and happiness doesn’t follow them around for the rest of their days. I think that was a misquoted and totally maimed biblical passage, but I’m not sure. What I am sure of is that Nick Hogan has wrecked his family’s lives – or whatever wasn’t totally ruined before.

But dear delusional Hulk seems to have forgotten the way this generally goes and appears to hope his family will have some kind of quasi-reconciliation. Hey, you bring the girlfriend that looks exactly like your daughter, your wife can bring her boyfriend that’s the same age as her son in juvie, and I’m sure we’ll all have a grand old time with a cookout and some type of baked goods.

Hulk Hogan is eager for his son, Nick, to be released from jail on October 21 and hopes that his family — including daughter Brooke and estranged wife Linda — will unite in support. “I don’t think there’s any reason why we shouldn’t all be friends,” Hulk, whose marriage to Linda fell apart in 2007, tells In Touch. “But other people feel differently.”

Nick, 18, was locked up on May 9 for his involvement in a car accident that permanently injured his friend John Graziano. He’s getting out three months early, thanks to credits for good behavior. “

Nick is [holding himself] accountable … He has this whole new vibe about helping people,” his dad says. “He should be free to follow his heart.” As he awaits Nick’s homecoming, Hulk is keeping busy with his new show, Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling, which premieres on October 18 on CMT. “I know Nick wants something good to eat,” Hulk tells In Touch. “And he said he wants a really, really long shower.”

[From In Touch]

Hulk is totally right. Nick should be free to follow his heart, eat a good meal, and skip through a field of bunny rabbits and daisies barefoot. All without the fear of being tackled by a group of large, angry men. And by “should” I mean “you don’t deserve a moment of good or happiness for the rest of your life you little bastard.” Or something close to that, but which fits into the sentence better.

In related news that puts to rest the whole “Is there a God” question, Brooke Hogan confirmed that she will not pose for Playboy after all. Hulk was pretty bummed. Then he made out with his girlfriend in front of his wife and everything was a-okay again.

Hulk Hogan is shown with his girlfriend, Jennifer McDaniel, in Miami on 4/2/08. Credit: Kadena Pix/Bauergriffinonline.com. And here are those photos of Hulk rubbing lotion on his daughter’s butt that you’ve seen ten times before, from 4/28/08. Credit: Fame Pictures.

I never knew it was possible for Hulk Hogan to acknowledge that his precious little children were anything less than absolutely perfect as they are. Hogan says incarcerated son Nick is going to come out of jail a “better man” – which implies that Hulk is actually slightly aware that Nick had some character flaws that he could improve upon. What a concept. Hulk doesn’t seem to realize the extent to which his son needs a serious personality makeover, but at least he’s acknowledged something.

Hogan also tells PEOPLE that the time in jail has helped Bollea to become a better man.

“He was moving through life and maybe not real appreciative of things,” Hogan says. “When this happened, it totally spun him in a 180. … It’s the best thing that ever happened to him. I’m not saying it’s a good thing. But it happened for a reason.”

Because his son has been participating in an inmate work program, Hogan added, Bollea is now expected to be released from jail a few days early – possibly in late October.

“Nick is doing great, and I’m so excited, because Nick is going to be a great man now,” Hogan says. “I’m proud of him.”

[From People]

Hulk is choosing his words a little more carefully, so points for that at least. He managed to say this happened to Nick to make him a better man, and held his tongue about John Graziano. He should not be proud of him at all though, and it irks me to no end the way he talks about jail like it’s therapy or something.

Some people are just douche bags. You can see it on their faces, it’s this certain expression they have. Nick is a douche bag. Surviving jail is nothing to be proud of your kid for. You should be wracked with shame and embarrassment that your son nearly killed someone. You should be utterly humiliated that your offspring did something worthy of jail time. Both of the Hogan parents continue to stroke Nick’s ego and build up his douche bagging narcissism by talking about how proud they are of him, and it’s utterly disgusting.

Here’s Hulk Hogan outside MTV TRL Studios in Times Square on January 1st. Photographer: Patricia Schlein. Images thanks to WENN.

Thank goodness the media has a diligent watchdog like Brooke Hogan to keep us on the straight and narrow. Brooke is absolutely livid at reports that she skipped jailbird brother Nick’s 18th birthday celebration. Because nothing says “You’re an adult” like getting moved to the big kid section of jail.

Brooke says she did show up – but unlike her famewhoring parents, she entered the jail through the back door. Linda Hogan brought a skateboard for her newly adult – and incarcerated – son. In college I volunteered in a state prison, and we weren’t even allowed to enter wearing underwire bras because the wire could be taken out and used as a weapon. But Linda Hogan seemed to think a skateboard would make it through security.

It’s her brother’s birthday – and Brooke Hogan will cry if she wants to. The 20-year-old lashed out at “stupid people of the press” on her MySpace blog for claiming she skipped her sib Nick Bollea’s 18th birthday behind bars on Sunday. She seethed:

Heres how stupid and inaccurate the media can be…
According to the press I didn’t show up to my brothers 18th birthday at the jail.
Lets see…
*hes in jail
*Its an important birthday…the big 18!!!
*I’m only a 4 hour drive to Tampa
*He’s the most important thing in my life.

They must have thought I didn’t show cause they didn’t SEE me.
uhh…there’s such thing as a back door you jerks.

Sunday served as a reunion for the Hogan clan, as Hulk and his estranged wife Linda — whom he recently dubbed “the most formidable opponent I’ve ever encountered” — visited their son in jail.

[From Us Weekly]

Brooke’s present to Nick was flying in a woman he was “very fond of,” according to E! News. At least that’s more meaningful than a skateboard. Brooke also told E! that although she was next to her mother Linda for an hour, the two never spoke or had eye contact.

It’s so tragic when such a lovely, wonderful family falls apart for no reason. I’m not gloating, I swear.

Here’s Brooke and Nick at the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas in October. Photographer: Chris Connor. Images thanks to WENN.

Linda Hogan must either be totally mental or completely misunderstood. After filing for divorce from Hulk Hogan and letting him find out through the media, she took up with a 19-year-old bleached blond friend of her 17-year-old son. She then filed for a restraining order against Hulk, and called the police to have him arrested when he dropped their daughter Brooke off at her house… because he was technically closer than the restraining order allowed him to be. And then she got in her car and followed him. And that’s just a brief snippet from the crazy Linda Hogan file.

According to daughter Brooke, Linda manipulated her into signing an affidavit stating that Hulk had abused her mother. Brooke is publicly apologizing and recanting her confirmation of Linda’s allegations.

“I did it under significant pressure from my mother,” Hogan, 20, tells PEOPLE in an exclusive statement. “It was only after I learned all the facts that I realized I made a big mistake in signing it.” Hogan released the statement after a tabloid reported that she had signed a legal affidavit accusing her father, whose real name is Terry Bollea, of verbally and physically abusing wife Linda during their marriage.

Linda, 48, filed for divorce last November, and her attorney told PEOPLE it was going to be “war.” Her attorney was not available for comment. A rep for Hulk Hogan declined to comment. In her statement to PEOPLE, Brooke admits to signing the affidavit. But, according to her rep, she later regretted the decision and asked that it not be filed in court. (At this point, according to Hulk’s attorney, no such document has been filed.)

Brooke’s rep says: “Brooke Bollea is distressed at the latest efforts by mother Linda to fracture the family. This time they let leak out an old document that Brooke signed filled with exaggerations and fabrications about father Terry’s behavior during the marriage. The months-old document was signed by Brooke at a time when she was upset with her father.”

[From People]

Brooke and Linda haven’t been on speaking terms for about a month, and according to People she now lives with her father. Brooke says that her mother is using her kids as pawns in their divorce. Which might be true, but they’re both nearly adults – jailbird son Nick will turn 18 tomorrow. It’s hard having your parents divorce at any age, but when they’re old enough that parents can’t fight over custody, that has a few advantages for the kids. They can live with whoever they want or move out on their own and do their best to avoid the drama. Which sounds like the best plan in this case.

Brooke Hogan really is a daddy’s girl. Even though both of her parents are dating massively younger people since their split, Brooke is pretty much alright with the Hulk but isn’t even on speaking terms with her mom. Yesterday Brooke confirmed to Chelsea Handler that she and mom Linda aren’t talking anymore. Which you can’t really blame Brooke for – it’s super weird to have your mother dating your younger brother’s friend.

Brooke Hogan’s been pretty vocal about her mom’s much younger lover. (Linda Hogan, 48, is dating someone 29 years her junior.) But now the Hulkster’s daughter says the two are no longer even speaking.

Not at all, she tells Chelsea Handler, host of E!’s Chelsea Lately. “The more time that goes on now that she doesn’t call, she doesn’t confront me, she doesn’t tell me the truth, I’m like, all right, it’s just time that’s pulling us apart.”

But what about dad’s young twinkie, why doesn’t that bother Brooke? “She’s not even that young…she’s grown.”

The girl in question, she is all of 34 years old. Meanwhile, pop celebrates his 55th birthday next month.

[From E! News]

Brooke gave an interview two weeks ago to the Associated Press in which she went into a bit more detail about the awkwardness and frustration of her relationship with her mom.

AP: How did you and your mother get so far apart?

Hogan: My mother and I naturally have a tremendous bond, there’s like a bond that you just can’t break with us. … Right now I’m just really disappointed with her and I feel like I wish I could talk to her, but you just can’t. It’s one of those kind of things where, I am a very straight-laced person and maybe that makes it even harder for me to see the path that she’s going down as being right, but I look at her now and I’m like, “You were my hero at one point. Why are you making these weird choices?” I don’t understand it. I definitely don’t condone what’s going on. I definitely don’t think it’s cool who she’s dating. I think it’s ridiculous but at the end of the day she’s my mother and I will still respect her and love her but right now … I just have to love her from a distance for now.

[From FOX News]

Brooke admits that she had a spat with the Hulk earlier this year, but that they were able to work past it because she ultimately respects her dad and believes he’s a good person. Her phrasing implies that she doesn’t think the same of her mother.

Here’s Brooke on Chelsea Lately.

I should feel like a really bad person for cheering whenever the divorce proceedings between Linda and Hulk Hogan worsen. But then I think about the way karma is biting them so deliciously in the ass, and this big, perverse grin spreads across my face.

Linda is trying to get Hulk thrown into jail for reneging on a contract to purchase a $4.3 million condo in Las Vegas. The two had been ordered by a judge to complete the sale, even though they’re in the middle of divorce proceedings. But when the day came to sign the final pictures, Linda claims Hulk was nowhere to be found, and suddenly his attorneys and friends had no clue where he was. What it really comes down to is Linda needs a place to party with her cougerlicious boys.

Hulk Hogan left his signature bandanna at home today, because it could clash with the orange jumpsuit a judge may force him to wear.

Hulk and soon-to-be-ex wife Linda were in court in Clearwater, Fla., as Mrs. H. asked hizzoner to hold her estranged hubby in contempt for failing to close on a $4.2 million Vegas condo.

As we first reported, Hulk wants to bail out on the deal — even if it means he loses his $840,000 deposit. Linda says they had an agreement to close on the condo and Hulk had no right to withhold the cash.

[From TMZ]

Hulks lawyers went off to E! News about how selfish and crazy Linda is for still wanting to purchase the condo. They also pointed out that in light of the lawsuit by John Graziano’s family, it is both financially imprudent and morally tacky to throw $4.3 million into luxury real estate. Which is totally true. But I’m behind anything that somehow results in either Hogan elder spending time in the slammer.

Header of Linda Hogan at the Palms Place Hotel and Spa Grand Opening in Vegas on May 31st. Photographer: Judy Eddy. Hulk Hogan outside MTV TRL Studios in Times Square on January 7th. Photographer: Patricia Schlein. Images thanks to WENN.

A lot of people have wished a lot of bad things on the Hogan family since Nick Hogan nearly killed family friend John Graziano in a drag racing crash. Me included. And it seems like Hulk and Linda’s lives are spinning out of control, and their divorce is getting ever more acrimonious. One solitary tear just slid poignantly down my cheek. Linda says Hulk is stalking her, and Hulk claims Linda is crazy but he still loves her.

Linda Hogan filed court documents on June 30 seeking to prevent her estranged husband from harassing her. In the documents, first reported by TMZ.com, Linda Hogan, 48, claims that Hulk Hogan, 54, “relentlessly and methodically” follows her, “causing her anxiety and fear for her safety at all times.” The motion also claims that Hulk “has a history of violence” towards Linda, “and is capable of attacking [her] at any time.”

In a statement, David Houston, a lawyer for Hulk (whose real name is Terry Bollea) shot back: “Linda Bollea’s allegations are pure fantasy, in line with her recent 911 call that has been widely played in the media.

“On May 22, Linda called 911 claiming Hulk was stalking her, which Hulk vehemently denied. Since November, Terry Bollea has been in Los Angeles working. The limited time that he has spent in Florida has been solely to visit his son and daughter. In addition, he has no history of violence.”

[From People]

Linda called 911 on Hulk for stalking her back in May. Hulk showed up at her house. Scary, no? Well he was dropping their daughter Brooke off. And Linda knew that. But apparently his mere presence meant he was stalking her, so Linda did the logical thing – followed him, while calling 911 to report him. The operator actually had to yell at Linda, “Ma’am, ma’am! Stop following him!”

How in the world could such terrible people have created such wonderful, thoughtful kids? It boggles the mind. Rumors were floating around that the pair were having serious marital problems since last spring, well before Nick Hogan’s car crash. Obviously that whole debacle put too much strain on an already fragile relationship.

But since then, both of the Hogan parents have conducted themselves with the utmost dignity; namely dating people their children’s age (and in Hulk’s case, dating a woman that looks like his child). Oh and rubbing lotion on his daughter’s ass.. And other uber creepy behaviors.

Hopefully this is the beginning of a long line of karmic retribution. Er, I mean forgiveness. Okay not really.

Header of Linda, Hulk, and Brooke along with Amber Reidinger at a Super Bowl party on February 3rd, 2007. Images thanks to WENN.

A few months ago some paparazzi pictures came out of Hulk Hogan rubbing suntan lotion on his daughter’s ass. It was mildly disturbing, to say the least, and generated more than a few comments, mostly along the lines of ‘Help me! My eyes! My eyes!’

Anyway, daughter Brooke says that it’s okay when her dad rubs lotion on her behind, because her ass is like a car.

“I know I’m a grown woman, but it’s like he’s touching an old car,” the singer tells Us Weekly in its latest issue, on newsstands now.

“He used to change my diaper!” she adds.

Us Weekly

Brooke is on the cover of Maxim magazine looking surprisingly good, and now that she’s fighting with her mom she’s obviously back to being on good terms with her dad again following their falling out about his relationship with her former best friend, because he came with her to her Maxim shoot.

You can view the video below, where Hulk tells the camera that when Brooke was 17 he wouldn’t let Maxim take sexy pictures of her, but now that’s she’s nearly 20 it’s okay. I have no explanation for this logic, except I guess she’s of legal age now. Frankly, if I ever get the offer of a Maxim shoot, and I’m expecting it any day now, I not even going to show my father the pictures, let alone invite him to the photo shoot. I guess Brooke might have taken her mother with her, but she’s not talking to her.

Brooke looks surprisingly good in the photos for Maxim, and in the video she’s seen kissing and fooling about with unidentified skinny guy. The rumors of her engagement continue but apparently she feels that with Nick incarcerated she shouldn’t be celebrating and she’s gong to wait until he is released to break the news to the world. Her wedding won’t be featured on her reality show, unless it really bombs and then she’ll do it to get ratings boost.

Note by Celebitchy: The thing that bothered me about those pictures is that her dad was touching her ass for one, but also that it’s a place she can easily reach herself. You ask people to apply sunblock to the places you can’t reach, and there’s really no reason for him to be touching her butt at all.