Sometimes, when I look at certain celebrities, I wonder what lies beneath the drag queen-y façade. Like, say, Gwen Stefani, Katy Perry, any of the Kardashians, and Lady Gaga. They all wear so much makeup, and all of them just seem to put way too much emphasis on the ridiculously “done” images they’ve created for themselves. I think my fascination with them is rooted in my personal rejection of that kind of high-maintenance beauty routine (at this point, I don‘t even wear makeup). My mother is high-maintenance like that too – she considers it a fate worse than death to leave the house without wearing makeup. You know what she looks like without makeup? Pretty much the same. In my mother’s case, I attribute it to being a “Southern thing”. What’s Lady Gaga’s excuse?

Gaga sat down for an interview with People Magazine to talk about her beauty routine, and she just sounds… gross. She wears makeup to bed!!! I haven’t done that since college, and even then, I really had to be completely wasted to not wash my face. In Gaga’s case, it’s not like she just has an odd night here and there where she’s just too exhausted to wash her face. She claims she goes to bed with her makeup on EVERY night. Gross.

It’s hard to think of someone as glam as Lady Gaga mulling over a makeup bag. But in the latest issue of PEOPLE, the superstar singer opens up about her surprisingly normal beauty routines (hint: the last thing she does before bed is brush her teeth!). Gaga, who calls her mother Cynthia Germanotta and Princess Diana her beauty influences, says her mom taught her to wash her face with Ivory soap.

But that doesn’t mean the singer always follows directions. When asked how many nights per week she goes to bed wearing makeup, she replies, “Seven. That is not good for your skin, but I’m blessed with good genes.”

What is good for her skin? The sunblock she carries around in her beauty bag.

“I don’t like to tan my face because it’s bad for wrinkles,” she explains.

The natural brunette, known for her now white-blonde locks, says she misses her dark hair when she has to “get a chemical haircut because my blonde hair is falling out.”

And that’s not the only damage fame has done: she admits that she’s dying for a foot massage, to relieve her achy feet after all those days spent walking in sky-high heels. But Gaga — whose favorite fragrances growing up were Versace Baby Rose Jeans and Revlon’s Jean Naté — says that above all, the best beauty tip is to be yourself.

“Just go with your gut,” she urges. “Whenever you try to be someone else, it’s boring.”

Perhaps that’s why she’s skipping mascara and fake lashes these days. “I think it’s more modern not to wear [either]. I just wear eyeliner.”

[From People]

Ugh, AND her hair is falling out? That’s just…wrong. At some point, maybe it’s time for Gaga to do a new look where she goes brunette. Hey, Madonna did it! I think Gaga’s monsters would still love her if she ditched the white-blonde and went dark. Also, I would like her monsters to insist that Gaga wash her face more often. You know what I wonder, though? I wonder if she goes to bed with makeup on just because she doesn’t want to start every morning from scratch. She must consider the previous day’s makeup as her “base coat”. Gross.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

John Travolta’s alleged big gay secret covers this week’s National Enquirer. Unfortunately, the Enquirer hasn’t released anything formally, so we’re just stuck with summaries and the odd detail here and there. The basics: a book is about to be published called You’ll Never Spa In This Town Again (clever… not really), by Robert Randolph. It’s all about the “gay spa” culture, or rather, the “secret gay spa culture” in Hollywood. Randolph claims that Hollywood closeted dudes go to the “spa” for some mani/pedis and get some hot gay action on the side, I suppose. Here’s what I could pull from assorted sources:

According to the National Enquirer, John Travolta is cheating on his wife of 19 years, Kelly Preston, just months before their baby is due.

“John Travolta has been cheating on Kelly for years! And when the details emerge, he’s gonna make Tiger Woods look like a boy scout,” said Robert Randolph, author of the memoir, You’ll Never Spa in This Town Again.

Apparently, Travolta has been a participant in Hollywood’s “secret gay spa subculture,” where the actor has engaged in “lewd sex acts with other men” on several occasions.

Robert said, “I met John in 1998, after he had married Kelly. I believe the marriage is a total fraud because John is totally into guys and has been having sex with them behind Kelly’s back for years. He came on to me a number of times. I always turned him down. But there was always some guy who was willing to have sex with him. And John didn’t stop cheating on Kelly after either of their children was born. John’s a cheating dog. It’s just been wrong, because his wife seems like such a sweet woman.”

Robert, who passed a lie detector test for his interview with the Enquirer, also said that John’s “secret gay life is one of Hollywood’s worst kept secrets. He blatantly cruises guys, and doesn’t seem to care who sees him. I saw him with his lover and he couldn’t get enough. And when the details emerge, he’s gonna make Tiger Woods look like a boy scout. John should come out of the closet already and stop living a lie. His wife Kelly deserves so much better.”

[From Perez Hilton, Dlisted]

Shocking. Oh wait… we all knew that Travolta loved dudes, right? I actually think he might be bisexual, honestly. I know that’s a bold theory, but I do think he loves his wife and I believe he must have had sex with her on occasion. But, yes, in general, Travolta might prefer the man-meat. ALLEGEDLY. As for the whole “boning dudes at spas” thing – I guess spas are the fancier, A-List version of bathhouses? Could these closeted dudes come up with a cover story that actually doesn’t sound like it’s already a gay meeting place, though? Like, “John Travolta caught up in secret gay golf club culture.” Or, “John Travolta cruises bears on the refrigerated toupee circuit.”

Here are some extra photos of John and his lace-front, for your secret gay spa enjoyment:

Enquirer cover courtesy of CoverAwards. John and Kelly on March 23, 2010, John in June. Credit: WENN.

Kaiser covered a Jessica Simpson story earlier today, but I just couldn’t resist this one. People Magazine asked Jessica’s dentist to comment on the fact that she’s admitted that she doesn’t brush her teeth every day. This is something Jessica has discussed in two separate interviews. The first interview honestly sounded like a joke to me, and I thought that she was either messing with us or had just forgotten to pack her toothbrush on a recent trip. Then Jessica confirmed in a follow up interview that she only brushes her teeth three times a week, explaining that she “needs a little coating” on them so that her lips don’t slide! Instead of brushing, she’ll “use a shirt or something” to wipe her teeth along with some mouthwash for fresh breath. She also claims to floss, but I’m not really buying that.

Jessica’s dentist was pretty amazed that she doesn’t brush every day, and told People that he was surprised to hear that there are people who don’t practice regular dental hygiene:

Last week, while appearing on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, the singer revealed that she brushes her teeth only about three times a week.

“My teeth are so white and I don’t like them to feel too slippery, but I do use Listerine and I do floss everyday,” she told DeGeneres. “But I don’t brush them everyday. I’ll use a shirt or something … I know it’s gross, but I always have fresh breath.”

Simpson’s dentist, Dr. Bill Dorfman, who appeared on an episode of Simpson’s previous reality show Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica and maintains a practice in Los Angeles, says he’s surprised and concerned about her brushing habits.

“I was kind of shocked. I assumed everybody brushed their teeth all the time,” he tells PEOPLE. “People pay us a lot of money for that slippery feeling. It’s kind of the best part.”

But this wasn’t the first time Simpson has talked about her lack of brushing. In March, the singer told a group of people a similar story at the “iheartradio presents an Evening with Jessica Simpson” in New York.

“Find me when I’m 60 and [my teeth] will probably be all out, but I literally have these strong powerful teeth that don’t need to be brushed,” Simpson told the audience.

Dorfman says people should be brushing and flossing after every meal, or it can cause anything from inflamed gums to heart disease.

“It’s great that she’s flossing all the time, but you have to brush too,” Dorfman recommends. “What goes on in your mouth really affects your whole body.”

[From People]

What the hell is Jessica talking about, she has “strong, powerful teeth?” Teeth are bones for chewing food, they’re powerful by design. Cavities and plaque can destroy them, though, and her dentist is right that she needs to also be concerned about her health. Gingivitis and periodontal disease can contribute to all sorts of health problems, and dental plaque has been tied to increased risk of heart attack. It’s irresponsible not to brush your teeth twice a day, and it’s even worse to announce it as if your mouth is an exception to the rule. Even little kids know they’re supposed to brush in the morning and night, and after every meal if they can. Not Jessica, though, she has “powerful” teeth. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt but in this case there’s little doubt that this is a very stupid thing to say and do. I love that People got a quote from her dentist, and that he was all “there are people who don’t brush?” Do you think Jessica will actually brush her teeth at least once a day now, or will she trade that comfortable teeth coating for uncomfortable dentures?

Back in January, Us Weekly ran a hilarious “exclusive report” about how Jessica Simpson farted (loudly) during a business meeting, and her mom yelled at her for it. The whole thing was kind of unconfirmed, and it made me feel for Jessica. I mean, even if it was true, so what? The girl’s a farter. She smelt it and dealt it.

But now I’m beginning to wonder if Jessica might be one of the grosser women in Hollywood. She admitted to a radio show yesterday that she doesn’t brush her teeth. She claimed: “I just use Listerine — and sometimes I’ll use my sweater. I do brush every now and again, but my teeth are extremely powerful. Fine, maybe when I’m 60 I’ll all, “ow!” Sign up now, gentleman, so you can get this one! A farter who doesn’t brush her teeth on a regular basis. The line forms here!

Wonder how Jessica Simpson maintains her million-dollar smile?

So does she. “I don’t brush my teeth,” she told iheartradio Thursday. “No, really!”

“I just use Listerine — and sometimes I’ll use my sweater,” she claimed, bursting into laughter.

“I do brush every now and again, but my teeth are extremely powerful. Fine, maybe when I’m 60 I’ll all, “ow!”

The singer adds that she loves “anything fried,” and that her nutrition habits weren’t always the best. “Growing up in Texas for me, fish was a fish stick. We weren’t really the healthiest of people. [My mom] didn’t force me to eat healthy.”

Simpson, 29, opened up yet again about her ex John Mayer’s raunchy comments regarding their sex life. “Maybe in his mind he was thinking about giving me a compliment but he wasn’t,” she quipped.

“In relationships, in general, going through a divorce and going through very public break-ups … you don’t want to disappoint people who are rooting for you to be successful in love. I just have to find the right man.”

[From Us Weekly]

Ugh, I just find this disgusting. I’m not one of those obsessive teeth people, but I brush after every meal and I floss regularly, just because I feel better about my teeth when I do. I don’t understand how Jessica’s teeth haven’t fallen out? Are they fake? You know, veneers or capped or whatever? Well, if they aren’t, they soon will be.

Jessica outside of ‘The Late Show’ on March 10, 2010. Credit: WENN.