Here’s an article filled with lots of obvious statements: Ben Affleck now admits that dating J-Lo probably hurt his career. You know what else probably hurt his career? “Gigli.” Yeah, it’s been a while since you heard a “Gigli” joke, huh? I’m right on it. I’ve heard Ben Affleck referred to as the poor man’s Matt Damon, though I think Ben is a lot nicer to look at. But Matt Damon’s got the smarts, and a lot of people (including the writers at “Family Guy” – in whom I place a lot of trust) think that the bulk of “Good Will Hunting” is really attributable to Damon, not Affleck. But Affleck had a few years there when he got a lot more attention – though not necessarily for good things. The worst one, of course, being J-Lo. I kid, I love J-Lo with a ferocity I can’t explain. Really, I have no idea why, but I think she rocks the monkey. But there’s no denying that dating her really didn’t help Affleck’s career, and made him come across more as a playboy and a dilettante than a legitimate actor and writer. Ben gave an interview with this month’s “Details” where he talks about some of his mistakes. The best part of the interview? Affleck was late. Why? His German Shepard got into a container of Metamucil and got sick all over the house. I’ve been there, my friend. I’ve been there.

On dating Jennifer Lopez:
“It was probably bad for my career. What happens is this sort of bleed-over from the tabloids across your movie work. You go to a movie, you only go once. But the tabloids and Internet are everywhere. You can really subsume the public image of somebody. I ended up in an unfortunate crosshair position where I was in a relationship and [the media] mostly lied and inflated a bunch of salacious stuff for the sake of selling magazines. And I paid a certain price for that. Then, in concert with some movies that didn’t work…”

On Gone Baby Gone:
“I feel like (Gone Baby Gone) is the linchpin for my life. My career. I have a lot riding on it. I want [the film] to work. Badly. I mean, a shitty movie comes out on 2,800 screens? I’ve been there and it’s embarrassing.”

On why he likes directing:
“That’s why there’s something really great about directing-about having authorship over something. If you don’t like this movie, I’m the guy to see. I’m the guy to criticize. I take some measure of comfort in that. It’s fair, at least.”

On his directorial debut:
“Listen, I’ve gone out and directed a movie and made it really f—king good. If the movie’s good, people will like it and go see it. All the rest of it is bullshit.”

On what’s at stake with his new film:
“It’s pretty simple. If people don’t go see it – I’m f—ked.”

On his decision to direct:
“I guess I just thought, I’ve seen it done enough. I’ve been on the sets enough. I’m a writer. An amateur photographer. An actor. I guess I just thought the sum of these parts would come together and I’d be able to do it.”

On living in L.A.:
“I’d be surprised if I’m still living here in a couple of years. Professionally it would be difficult. But that’s not as important as that other thing.”

[From Us Weekly]

Oh Ben. You’re sort of a hack, but I still love you. And I’ve been told by many of our readers that I have to love your wife or they’ll kick me, so I love her too. Whatever happened to all those rumors that he was going to run for the senate? Those were clearly post J-Lo rumors, during the current Jennifer Garner administration. I was wondering how those would gel with all those “I’ve spent too much time at the Playboy Mansion” rumors. I’m guessing that having dated J-Lo is about the same as having killed a hooker, in terms of political weight. Maybe he’s coming forward and admitting his mistakes so he can move on. And clean up that Metamucil.

Picture Note by Jaybird: Here’s Ben looking surprisingly thin at the Annual Deauville American Film Festival on September 9th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Okay, I’ll admit it: my sense of humor is not so advanced that I find David Letterman funny. That’s always followed up by someone asking which late night host I do find funny. Ummm… well none of them. But David Letterman has never given me more than a mild chuckle. Yes, I get that the problem is me, not him. It’s a massive, unforgivable character flaw. But Dave has redeemed himself with me (which I know he’s been worried about for a while). He embarrassed the crap outta Paris Hilton. Thus, I now love and respect David Lettermen with a previously undiscovered ferocity. He lobbed a number of questions at Hilton as she grew increasingly uncomfortable and annoyed. “How’d you like being in jail?” started the conversation. Then there was, “How was the bologna?” and “Have your friends treated you differently now that you’re out of the slammer?” And my personal favorite: “What’d you do? Do you know what you did wrong?”

Hilton: “I’ve moved on with my life, so I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

Letterman: “This is where you and I are different — All I want to do is talk about it. Did you make any friends while you were in jail?”

Hilton: “I’m not answering any more questions about it. I’m here to talk about my clothing line, my movie and my perfume. I’m moving on.”

[From readexpress.com]

To really understand the greatness of Letterman’s interview, you must watch it. Seeing Paris Hilton squirm is just about my favorite thing in the world. I might have a teeny, tiny bit of sympathy if she’d change one iota like she promised she would – but come on, it’s Paris Hilton. Did any of us really believe for a second that she’s capable of becoming a decent human being? Enjoy the video and lovely Hilton squirmishness.

We here at Celebitchy don’t consider ourselves to be tabloid writers, but we are certainly lovers of gossip. And if once in a while we quote a tabloid, so be it. Anymore the stories seem to turn out to be true more often than not. But we let you know when we think a story is likely a big bag of crap. So with the caveat that we’re not talking including ourselves here, let’s talk about the most recent celebrity railing against the tabloids: our beloved Brad Pitt. Brad is not a fan of the tabs. I have yet to hear of a celeb that’ll admit to liking them, though a lot of them (ahem, Paris) seem to know that their careers depend on them. Brad’s newest movie, “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford” brought the esteemed history of tabloid journalism into Brad’s precious little noggin, and Brad being the socially, gossipy conscious guy that he is, felt it morally incumbent to let the rest of us know just how similar things were back in the day.

“While news about Jesse James crawled its way across 19th-century America — compared to today’s lightning-fast Internet — the tone was uncannily comparable to today’s celebrity coverage, Brad Pitt found in reading those old accounts.

“‘I will say, I was surprised to see how tabloid journalism was alive and well even then and operating in the same way, just sensationalizing a complete fabrication of untruths,’ said Brad Pitt, who stars as the legendary outlaw in ‘The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.’

“‘There’s just more of it today. There’s more of it in quantity, but the execution’s the same. In that day, when you only had a newspaper to get your information, that would have been the extent of it. But it doesn’t seem to have changed at all,’ Pitt told The Associated Press at the Toronto International Film Festival.”

[From CNN]

True story Brad. Tabloid journalism definitely hasn’t changed much at all. For our readers who may not know, back in the day of Jesse James, there was also a Brangelina and Bennifer-type obsession. President Ulysses S. Grant was famous for his untoward affair with Angelina Jolie, and after leaving his wife, the First Lady Julia Grant (I was really hoping her name would have been something more old fashioned and less sexy like Gertrude to make this funnier, so let’s pretend she was named Gertrude Grant) Ulysses hooked up with Angelina. They then hopped around the globe adopting random children while flaunting their new-found love and happiness in the former First Lady’s face. Gertrude, blind with rage, took up with various bloated movie stars and British models, none of whom would commit to her. Then President Grant tried to save New Orleans with modern architecture that no one wanted, and the pair eventually grabbed their covered wagon and rolled away. This was all covered by the National Enquirer, which had a hard time disseminating the information quickly, as it only had one dirty old printing press that was missing the “i.” I’m sure things were just as tawdry and explicit back then as they are now. Though they probably didn’t besmirch the reputations of beloved former presidents with blatant fabrications, but that’s their own fault.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Brad Pitt is shown on set in NY City on the film Burn After Reading. His character is riding a bike that gets hit by a car. Thanks to Splash News.

Remember Ellen’s sitcom, back in the day? I don’t think a ton of people watched it before she came out, but I always thought it was funny. Before her current talk show, I always heard people saying they thought she was annoying, but now everyone seems to be in love with her (I’m no exception – listen to her old comedy CD, it’s hysterical). Ellen had Mariska Hargitay on her show this week, and wanted to show a clip of Hargitay guest starring on Ellen’s sitcom back in 1996 (though weirdly enough, the episode was taped in 1994 during the show’s first season). ABC gave Ellen a big old no, even though she worked for the network for years – and her show is still syndicated on many local ABC channels.

“Talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has been refused access to clips from her own former sitcom. The comedienne asked ABC/Disney bosses to let her show a segment from her old program, which featured a guest appearance from actress Mariska Hargitay - and was told the footage was off limits.

“DeGeneres, who hit the headlines a decade ago when she ‘came out’ as a lesbian on the sitcom and in real life, was hoping to use the clip to show Hargitay when the Law & Order: Special Victims Unit star made her debut on the Ellen show on Friday.

“‘She was a guest star on my original sitcom and it was a hilarious scene… I wanted to show it today… but Disney will not let me have any clips of my show to show, unless we pay a whole lot of money. It was my show… We’d be advertising it, it would help them.’”

[From Starpulse]

That would piss me off too. I’m kind of surprised Ellen even mentioned it, since she’s considered the real “Queen of Nice.” We forget that Rosie O’Donnell used to have that title, before the “View” and drawing horns on pictures of Elizabeth Hasselbeck. Ellen had Kathy Griffin on her show this week, and admitted that she originally didn’t watch Griffin’s show “My Life on the D List” because she thought it’d be too mean-spirited, but said she’d given it a viewing and enjoyed it. The contrast between the stars was interesting to watch.

“Ellen’s good-natured style of humor made for an interesting conflict with the sharp, pointed jabs Kathy is known for taking against celebrities, a difference the host brought up in the interview.

Ellen: “Do you feel bad? Do you feel like you could then go up — because I know all these people. So, for me — and I was also on the other end of it — I used to get… After I came out, I was the butt of everybody’s joke. So I know what it feels like to be talked about all the time.”

Kathy: “Not mine. Not mine. And that’s really — people say ‘Do you have lines? Do you have lines?’ [lines that you won’t cross] Yeah, I don’t make fun of people who have a sense of humor about themselves, I don’t make fun of people — honestly, what I do is I make fun of people who created a situation. I don’t say about Star Jones, ‘Uhm, she’s fat. Goodnight everybody!’ I say ‘I worked with her and my experience was she was a [censored].’ That’s my experience with her, we all know it. Don’t act like I’m the first one to say that … but, also, if you were puking all over in nightclubs or get out of the car without the panties that’s a different story because that’s something you’re controlling … and it’s fun. Honestly, I make fun of people’s behavior more than I make fun of how they look. And I’ve been that person too, I’ve had the nasty pictures and had the ‘worst dressed’ and all that too.”

[From After Elton]

After that, Ellen had a segment where she held up pictures of famous people and told Kathy she had to find a nice thing to say about each of them. Kathy made a few barbs instead (you could tell she was trying not to but couldn’t resist) and Ellen looks visibly pissed/annoyed and almost angry at her a few times. It’s kind of funny. Here’s a clip below.

Demi Moore says Hollywood just doesn’t know what to do with her. She’s sexy, pretty, and 44 - oh the confusion! Moore essentially says she’s a lot hotter than most women in their forties, and that’s confusing. Demi is another one of those celebrities I don’t like but can’t explain why, but I can’t argue with her. She does look great for any age. But most of us would, if we’d had half a million dollars to spend on our looks.

“‘It’s been a challenging few years, being the age I am, with so much focus now on how I look. Almost to the point where I felt like, well, they don’t know what to do with me. I’m not 20. Not 30. But I’m certainly different from what most people feel someone in her forties should be…For many female actors, who turn 40, it means the end of their career, it’s time to retire. There aren’t that many good roles for women over 40. A lot of them don’t have much substance, other than being someone’s mother or wife. If we are told we are not valuable once we hit 30, it is a problem. We all have more to give. We can’t just bend over and wait for something to happen. We have to say, ‘I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more.’”

[From Us Magazine]

Um, okay. I think that line is reserved for great injustices, not for when you spend a ton of money on plastic surgery and still can’t get a good part. A lot of older actors complain about the ageism in Hollywood, and it’s a legitimate complaint. But instead of just bitching, why not actually do something about it? Someone in Demi Moore’s position is more than capable of financing their own projects. Why not do that once in a while? Lots of actors have their own production companies so they can make the films they want made – why not do that, and prove Hollywood wrong by producing your own movies with great roles for women over 40? I’m sure I’m being simplistic here, but the constant bitching doesn’t seem to be creating more good roles.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Demi at New York Fashion Week on September 6th in Bryant Park. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Remember a few years ago, when Mariah Carey went all crazy and started stripping her clothes off on TV? Well apparently that moment - and the several other bizarre/awkward ones she’d had around that time – wasn’t a breakdown, it was a breakthrough. And why did this all happen? Exhaustion, working herself way too hard, and her crazily driven work ethic. Supposedly. I’m sure drugs and alcohol had nothing to do with it. In her upcoming interview with “Interview” magazine, Carey talks about that much publicized time in her life.

“Pop star Mariah Carey has no regrets about her infamous 2001 nervous breakdown, now describing her public disintegration as an emotional ‘breakthrough’.

“The ‘Without You’ singer was treated for extreme exhaustion in July 2001 following her eccentric behaviour during a couple of public appearances.

“But Carey insists she needed to “hit rock bottom” to comprehend what her non-stop work ethic was doing to her.
“She tells American magazine Interview: ‘I’m far from perfect. I’m still learning. I overworked myself, and I paid the price. I consider the breakdown a breakthrough. I needed to hit rock bottom. I needed to understand the cost of pushing so hard; fighting so hard against the system.

“’But was I out of control at that moment? Yes.’”

[From Ireland Online]

Well it’s good that she’s honest and says she was out of control, but does anyone believe it when a celebrity says whatever massive issue they have is attributable to exhaustion? That’s like saying your leg fell off from a splinter. The cause just doesn’t naturally lead to such an extreme effect. Either way, Mariah Carey is one of those people who’s always seemed delusional and off-kilter. Maybe it wasn’t substance related, maybe it was just her own natural crazy working its way through her system. Or maybe she just has the words breakthrough and breakdown mixed up; she’s never struck me as that bright. But she has put out the best music of her career since her breakdown, so maybe there’s some truth to it. Or maybe crazy = genius.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Mariah at the 2007 Fresh Air Fund Salute to American Heroes in June. Image thanks to PR Photos.