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May 5
'06
James Blunt is very poorly endowed

You're pitiful. It's, um, true.
We obviously dislike James Blunt and zealously report negative news about him. The latest is that the woman he cheated on his hapless now-ex girlfriend with says he has an itty bitty peter:

WORD of advice: Never cross Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. Just days after revealing that James Blunt is a lousy lover, the posh babe has dropped a big hint why – he hasn’t got much to crow about the manhood department.

Tara, 34, who now calls the Brit winner James c*** after he reportedly slept with her behind the back of girlfriend Camilla Boler Tara stormed: “Let’s just say the whole experience was small in every sense of the word.”

Blunt broke up with his girlfriend over the phone after lying to her and saying he didn’t cheat with Tomkinson.

Tomkinson also says Blunt has been trying to contact her, but that she’s not going there again. Maybe Jessica Simpson will get word of this and let go of her foolish crush on the untalented singer.

Posted in James Blunt, Music, Weak

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
May 4
'06
Jessica Simpson and James Blunt?


Jessica Simpson is said to be enamored with James Blunt and wanted to make sure she gave him her contact info at the MTV Australian music awards:

While at the MTV Australia Video Music Awards, says a friend of Jessica, she “was determined to meet him,” and gave Blunt, 29, her cell phone number and e-mail address. “She was glowing the rest of the night,” says the source. “Obviously Jess goes for the sensitive singers.” And if James doesn’t call or email, the source tells Star that Jessica hopes to see James when he’s in California for an April 30 gig. Watch out, James… Jessica’s on the prowl!

[via]

Blunt may be a sensitive singer, but he’s a complete dumb ass and iit would be a disaster if these two got together. While Nick was able to balance out Jessica’s ditziness with common sense and a grounded personality, Blunt has no such redeeming qualities.

Here is Jessica with her incompetent hairdresser Ken Paves at Mr. Chow’s in Beverly Hills on May 2nd, and shopping with him on April 30th. [via]

And here’s Blunt at a press conference in Mexico City on May 2nd and at Coachella.

Posted in Hookups, James Blunt, Jessica Simpson, Nick Lachey, SmartSmartSmart

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Apr 18
'06
James Blunt breaks up with his gullible girlfriend over the phone


At the end of last month, James Blunt was said to have cheated on his girlfriend, Camilla Boler, with British socialite Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. Boer initially believed Blunt’s account that the rumor was untrue, but now that Palmer-Tomkinson has admitted the affair, Boler realizes she was taken for a fool and that Blunt really did cheat. In typical passive aggressive fashion, Blunt didn’t break up with Boler until he absolutely had to, and he did it over the phone:

James Blunt’s ex-girlfriend Camilla Boler has confirmed reports their two-year relationship has come to an end after the singer admitted having an affair with British socialite Tara Palmer-Tomkinson.

The Back To Bedlam phenomenon split with blonde singer Boler during a trans-Atlantic phonecall last week – after Palmer-Tomkinson openly admitted the fling.

Blunt has also been romantically linked to Czech supermodel Petra Nemcova and The Pussycat Dolls singer Jessica Sutta since embarking on a nine-month world tour, but Boler insisted their relationship was still strong.

Boler, who has now fled to Spain to escape the pain of the split, has labelled the singer a selfish “egomaniac” and admits it “breaks her heart” to hear his hit song You’re Beautiful.

It breaks everyone else’s heart to have to hear You’re Beautiful too.

Here’s Blunt performing in Sydney on April 13th.

Posted in Breakups, James Blunt

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Mar 29
'06
James Blunt cheats on his gullible girlfriend

You're pitiful. It's, um, true.
“Singer” James Blunt denied yesterday’s rumors of his affair with British socialite Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. Tomkinson played coy, seeming to suggest the rumors are true:

Meanwhile, 34-year-old Tara has refused to confirm or deny reports of her “intimate moment” with James. But yesterday, she added fuel to the fire saying: “I don’t care what Camilla says. I don’t even know the girl.”

And when asked about James, she smiled and said, teasingly: “No comment.”

Blunt’s girlfriend Camilla Boler, the inspiration for that terrible song “You’re Beautiful,” revealed how stupid she has to be to date him by stating that she believes him:

Following the revelations in our sister paper the Sunday Mirror at the weekend that James, 30, had a night of passion with Tara after she flew to New York to see him, an enraged Camilla told 3am: “We’re still an item.”

We just hope this latest drama doesn’t inspire Blunt to write a song. With the news that his producer is suing him and will no longer rework his simplistic songs, it’s sure to be god-awful.

Posted in Hookups, James Blunt, Relationship trouble

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Mar 20
'06
James Blunt’s music used to suck even worse

WTF is wrong with this guy?
A producer who has worked with stars such as Dido and Samantha Mumbo claims that he helped Blunt create his signature simplistic music, and that Blunt screwed him once he got a music contract. What’s more, Blunt’s music was even worse before this guy reworked it for him:

[The Producer, Burton] says Blunt’s music used to be “crude, occasionally laughably direct, and betrayed his relative lack of musicianship or discernible influence.” Burton says he saw potential, however, and started working with him.

Burton… wrote on a website: “A couple of people told me I shouldn’t be working with him without a contract in place.

“But to be honest the love couldn’t have been thicker in the air – lots of talk about how great the record was going to be and how cool the whole situation was.”

The UK Performing Rights Society thinks the claims are legitimate enough to be considered, and has stopped royalty payments on 6 songs from Blunt’s album “Back to Bedlam” until the case is resolved.

Also, Blunt’s girlfriend, who is supposed to be the inspiration for that terrible song “You’re Beautiful,” wants to dump his ass. Supposedly he’s not spending enough time with her, but we think she just came to her senses.

Posted in James Blunt, Music, Weak

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Mar 16
'06
Hot but slow: James Blunt

WTF is wrong with this guy?

Posted in James Blunt, Music, Photos

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Mar 16
'06
James Blunt is a loser, part deux

You're pitiful. It's, um, true.
The NY Daily News reports that James Blunt is even more whiny and pitiable live than he comes off as in his simplistic music:

At Webster Hall on Tuesday night, Blunt sang song after song about squandered love without calling on the defenses of anger, humor or macho affect to shield him. On the contrary, his lyrics depict him as crying more often than the subject of a Barbara Walters interview…

Blunt’s limited scope as a performer became more glaringly clear. Since his ballad-drenched repertoire is sluggish in pace and “miserable” in mood (to use his word), Blunt’s band tried to make things more “fun” by overplaying the backbeat. That threw the material out of kilter and forced Blunt to shout, coarsening his main selling point: his delicate falsetto.

We reported earlier that the former lead singer of Blur compared Blunt’s shallow songs to greeting cards.

Now that the news is out that Blunt can’t perform live, he will hopefully fade into the background. I don’t want to endure any more of his lame songs running through my head for days.

Posted in James Blunt, Music, Weak

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Mar 13
'06
This is not news: James Blunt Sucks

You're pitiful. It's, um, true.
I really dislike James Blunt and think the lyrics to “You’re Beautiful” convey what a loser he is. That’s why I’m pleased to reprint the apt remarks of former Blur lead-singer, Graham Coxon:

Former BLUR star GRAHAM COXON has blasted newcomer JAMES BLUNT as bland and uninspiring, comparing his sentimental songs to trite greetings cards. The scathing guitarist, now a solo artist, is convinced the YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL hitmaker needs an edgier sound to ensure his success continues. He says, “There’s no humour in his music and there doesn’t seem to be much depth. “It’s the sort of thing you’d write on a card if you were sending flowers.”

Meanwhile, Oprah also agrees that Blunt is miserable.

Posted in James Blunt, Weak

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
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