Star Magazine has a cover story this week titled “Jamoe Lynn: Delivery Room Drama!” OMG! Jossip offers invaluable analysis of this probably half bullshit, half embellished story. They say that by having an exclusive deal with OK! Magazine for photos and stories about her baby, Jamie Lynn incurred the tabloid editor’s wrath more so than your average celebrity.

Here are the supposed details of Jamie Lynn’s “Delivery Room Drama!” Star claims Casey passed out, Britney pled with Jamie Lynn to have a cesarean, and mother hen Lynn insisted on being in the room when Jamie Lynn gave birth, cursing her out like a movie cliché of a delivery room scene:

In the new issue of Star, on newsstands now, we have all the details about Jamie Lynn’s delivery room drama — including her life-threatening decision, emergency surgery to save the baby, Britney’s jealous episode, Lynne Spears fighting with everyone and the brouhaha over a paternity test.

“The baby’s heart rate dropped every time she tried to push,” a family insider tells Star. “They did an ultrasound and quickly discovered that the umbilical cord was too short.” But despite the doctors’ dire warnings, the 17-year-old “was adamant about having a natural delivery.”

Everyone in the room at Southwest Mississippi Regional Medical Center in McComb, Miss., pleaded with Jamie Lynn to listen to the doctors — including big sister Britney. Brit had already been with Jamie Lynn for hours, massaging her back as she endured painful contractions. “But she got mad,” says the insider. She told Jamie Lynn to “just have a damn Caesarian,” as she did. “Britney then ran out in tears because she couldn’t bear to see what was happening.”

The girls mother, Lynne, only added to the tension. “Lynne was already angry because her daughter didn’t want her in the delivery room at all,” says the source. “But she had insisted on being there, along with Casey Aldridge, Jamie Lynn’s boyfriend. Jamie Lynn cussed and yelled at her mom, and told her to get out. She cursed Lynne for bringing her into the world to bear such pain.”

[From Star Magazine’s website]

How poetic of Star: “She cursed Lynne for bringing her into the world to bear such pain.” I love that line. I’ve never heard of an umbilical cord being too short, but I Googled it and it does happen and can result in increased infant mortality.

Jossip notes that the article also claims that “Lynn Spears, Maddie’s grandma, wants a DNA test right away because she doesn’t believe Aldridge is the father.” Their explanation of how so many things went wrong with the birth is a lesson in a tabloid scorned:

You know what you get when you’re a celebrity and you sign an exclusive deal with a tabloid? Bad karma from the rest of the magazines.

Jamie Lynn Spears, who signed a $1 million exclusive deal with OK! for her pregnancy story and pics, is getting stabbed by Star with a dramatic cover story exclaiming, “Delivery Room Drama!” Since Spears is prohibited from playing ball with the other celeb weeklies, there’s only one thing Star can do: deliver one piece of bad news after another. If only Spears hadn’t signed with OK!, she could’ve scored some protection.

[From Jossip]

Star spreads a lot of fake news about celebrities but it’s particularly malicious when they’re blocked from a coveted story. On the remote chance that all of this is true, you could also say that Jamie Lynn had an unremarkable natural birth despite some minor complications and pressure from her doctors and family to have a c-section.

I guess Britney Spears had all the Kentwood, Louisiana she could take. Or maybe it was all the Spears’ family she could handle. Spears boarded a plane on Wednesday to go to her hometown and be present for the birth of younger sister Jamie Lynn’s daughter. But after one full day in the joint, she’s ready for the pampered life of a starlet again. The pop star was seen boarding a plane with her dad today to head back to her home in Beverly Hills. Because I’m sure she has a lot more important things to do than bond with her new niece or help her teenage sister take care of an infant. That’s Mommy Lynne’s job anyway, right?

Britney Spears has a tearful goodbye with her family as she left her hometown of Kentwood, Louisiana the day after younger sister Jamie Lynn gives birth to a daughter, Maddie Briann.

Spears, 26, is likely on her way back to her home in Beverly Hills. (The singer is currently at work on a new album, her vocal producer and co-writer Jim Beanz confirmed exclusively to Usmagazine.com.)

Maddie Briann was born Thursday weighing 7 lbs., 11 ounces. She is the first child for Jamie Lynn, 17, and fiance Casey Aldridge.

“I’m sure the baby’s beautiful, and I’m so glad everybody’s healthy and doing well,” cousin Alli Sims told Us an after-party for Wanted in Los Angeles on Thursday.

“I just wish them all the happiness in the world,” she said. “I know they’re going to have so much fun.”

[From Us Weekly]

Ah, yes. Cousin Alli. Like anyone in the Spears family talks to that dumb waste of space anymore. Anyway, I’m sure Britney needed to get back to see her two little boys, but I can’t help think that it’s going to be a long time before she sets foot in Kentwood again, even if her mom told a judge that she’s eventually going to move back there. And I suppose she doesn’t have a whole lot of parenting wisdom to impart to her little sister anyway.

Update by Celebitchy: Here is Britney arriving at LAX yesterday with her father and assistant. Britney was surrounded by 30 paparazzi and TMZ reports that there was a fight between one of her bodyguards and a photographer. The cops were called, but the two made up afterwards and no one was arrested. Thanks to WENN for these photos.

Jamie Lynn Spears, 17, gave birth to a healthy baby girl on this morning at 9:30 am in Mississippi, reportedly by scheduled c-section due to the breech position of the baby.

People Magazine reports that the baby’s name is Maddie Briann, but there is no word yet what her last name will be or how much she weighed at birth. Spears is engaged to the baby’s father, 19 year-old Casey Aldridge.

Jamie and Casey have a new three bedroom home in Liberty, Mississippi on five acres of land. They recently purchased new furniture, including a four poster bed, a leather sofa and a canopy bed. The nursery for the new baby is designed in tones of pink, brown, and silver-green, and was outfitted the help of Jamie Lynn’s mother, Lynne.

There was a rumor that Jamie and Casey were going to name the baby with a combination of their two names, similar to Jamie Lynn, who is named after both parents. Maddie is an adorable name. According to the US Social Security administration, “Madison” was the fifth most popular baby girl’s name for 2007, so little Maddie may have some other playmates with the same nickname. “Maddie” is her name though, not Madison, and the Baby Name Wizard doesn’t have the name “Maddie” among the top 1,000 names for girls at any time.

Congratulations to Jamie Lynn and Casey, and best wishes to the new family.

Update: OK! Magazine, which has a contractual relationship with Jamie Lynn for details about her baby, says that Maddie was born naturally and not by c-section as was previously reported.

The National Enquirer is reporting on their website that Britney Spears’ 17 year-old sister, actress Jamie Lynn Spears, will be induced and will undergo a C-section at Mississippi Southwest Regional Medical Center in McComb, Mississippi today. Her baby, said to be a girl, looked like it was in the breech position in a recent sonogram, which has her doctors scheduling a Cesaerian due to potential complications.

Britney Spears and her older brother, Jamie, 31, arrived in New Orleans from a commercial flight from LA, and are now at her family’s estate in Kentwood, Louisiana, according to People Magazine.

Congratulations will soon be in order for Jamie Lynn and her fiancé, Casey. Life & Style is reporting in this week’s edition that “Jamie Lynn will get her dream wedding.” They say that due to her age she can’t get married in Louisiana until she turns 18 next April, but that her father, Jamie, may finally give consent after initially opposing the marriage. Her mother, Lynn, supposedly had no objections to the wedding, but Jamie is said to be against it because “he got married really young, and he knows how tough it is.”

Jamie Lynn is said to be planning a wedding for “six to eight weeks after the baby comes.” Don’t get married yet, JL! You have plenty of time to make that decision and it’s not like you’re going to be able to do it before your daughter arrives anyway.

The Spears family seems to be moving forward in a mostly positive, healthy, normal manner – at least for them. According to several reports, Britney is leaving for her hometown of Kentwood, Louisiana later this week, to be with pregnant little sis Jamie Lynn. She may stay up to a month.

Hopefully Britney won’t be passing on any parenting techniques. Well, maybe a few she learned by trial and error: don’t drop the baby (especially when photographers are around); always use a car seat; don’t drive with a kid on your lap… you know, the kind of lessons most parents really have to just learn for themselves.

While Britney’s spending some quality time at home, her dad Jamie is selling her house. He got permission from the court yesterday – though presumably Britney’s okay with it too.

Earlier today, a Los Angeles court commissioner OK’d a request from Spears’ conservatorship asking for permission to put the property on the market. The court approval comes days after Spears was spotted looking at a $5.6 million, 7,300-square-foot house (above) in the L.A. suburb of Encino, closer to the home base of ex-husband Kevin Federline and the ex-couple’s sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James.

Spears has not exactly endeared herself to fellow denizens of the community, who have complained about the constant presence of paparazzi outside the gates. Some reports have blamed Spears as the reason neighbor Ed McMahon has not received a single offer on his $6.5 million house that’s facing foreclosure.

[From E! News]

It sounds like it’d be a good idea for Britney to get a fresh start. She’s made a lot of big improvements to her life; certainly moving closer to her sons would be another one. And if it helps Ed McMahon, who wouldn’t want to do it?

Britney’s conservatorship is slated to be extended or go to trial in early August. If all parties agree to extend it, nothing will happen, but if Britney doesn’t agree to her dad retaining legal control of her life, she has the right to a jury trial. Can you imagine the drama? Britney wasn’t in court yesterday – her lawyers said she was out of town, but didn’t specify where – but she and her lawyer will be going over her options in the next week.

The evil, gossipy part of me hopes she doesn’t agree to extend her conservatorship, just for the drama of a trial. The slightly more benevolent part of me hopes Britney agrees to keep everything moving forward. Little sister Jamie Lynn is expected to deliver her baby sometime near the end of the month. Hopefully all that family time will be good for everyone.

Being pregnant in summertime must suck. Being pregnant at 17 must really suck. Put those two things together, and you have whole new levels of suckitude. And unfortunately for Jamie Lynn Spears, that is exactly what she is going through. “Insiders” (I love “insiders” – I imagine they’re mostly comprised of small house rodents and bugs that report back to E! News and Star once a week) say Spears is in the last few weeks of her pregnancy, and is remarkably uncomfortable. She’s also been dealing with some false labor cramps.

“She’s feeling so large and just feeling all the discomfort that comes with it,” a source close to Jamie Lynn tells E! News. The pregnant teen has also been hit with some mild cramps for the past two days, our insider says. “Sounds like some false labor pains,” says the friend. “But nothing serious enough to go to the hospital over. They called her doctor, but everything’s fine.”

At least the pregnant teen has plenty of support. Daddy Casey Aldridge is doing his best to make her feel better, rubbing her back when the cramps kick up, says our source. And her mom is at her side, pitching in with last-minute nursery decorating. But the humid summer heat plaguing Mississippi (where the parents-to-be own a home) isn’t helping. Even a brief trip outdoors leaves her sticky with sweat.

“Britney apparently called her recently and ordered her to stay inside, under the air conditioning, as much as possible,” the source says. “It was really cute.” Britney and father Jamie have been calling regularly to check in on the mommy-to-be, who is expected to deliver at the end of this month. Unless, of course, the baby’s late.

“Jamie Lynn knows first babies have a habit of being late,” says the pal. “And she isn’t too happy about it. I think she’s ready for all this pregnancy stuff to be over and the mommy stuff to start.”

[From E! News]

I’m under the impression that once the “mommy stuff” starts, that when things really get difficult. I mean it’s great that you’re not throwing up all the time anymore, but it’s more than made up for with the crying and the diapers and lack of sleep. I’m no expert, but I really don’t think Jamie Lynn’s going to find motherhood to be some permanent reprieve.

It does seem like she’s willing to really focus on her baby, since she bought a house near her mom’s home in Kentwood, Louisiana. At first everyone was assuming she’d raise her baby in Los Angeles while working on her acting career. But last time I checked, Kentwood wasn’t exactly the Hollywood of the South. So it sounds like Jaime Lynn will probably focus on raising her baby for now. Hopefully the next few weeks won’t be too uncomfortable for her, and the baby won’t be late.

Here’s a bad idea for you: raise three kids, two of whom are known worldwide for their mistakes – and then release a parenting book. If you’re Lynne Spears, you might just be delusional enough to think that’s a good idea. Once Jamie Lynn got pregnant, Lynn put the project on hold. Since then, it sounds like the concept has been reworked. The publisher is no longer calling it a parenting book – instead it’s being peddled as a memoir. Much smarter idea.

Lynne Spears’s memoir about raising her famous daughters Britney and Jamie Lynn will be released this fall, the publisher confirms to PEOPLE.

“When Jamie Lynn got pregnant, it was put on hold,” says a spokesman for Thomas Nelson, which publishes inspirational books and Bibles. “Lynne never stopped working on it because she wants to express her love for her children and tell their stories through a mother’s eyes.” Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World” is likely to be released in September, says the spokesman.

“Lynne has had a dramatic life. People will be be very surprised to find out the kind of person she really is,” says Lorilee Craker, who worked with Spears on the project. “Lynne has been incredible to work with.” Spears’s manuscript “will not be a parenting book,” Nelson says. “It’s her story of what it was like being a mom and raising two very famous people. It’s a memoir.”

[From People]

It’ll be interesting to see if Lynne defends her parenting, admits to her mistakes, or just glosses over them. It’s been widely reported that she let Britney get breast implants at 16 and encouraged her to overtly exploit her sexuality for the sake of her career. Jamie Lynn got pregnant at 16. Her oldest child, Brian, lives in New York and isn’t involved in show business. He’s arguably the kid that’s turned out the best – though if nothing else, Jamie Lynn is still very young and despite the pregnancy could still turn out great. So could Britney, to be fair.

Lynne Spears doesn’t seem as delusional as someone like Dina Lohan, but she’s still got some explaining to do. Depending on how she handles tough issues in her book, it could drastically sway people’s opinion about her. If she fesses up to her mistakes, it could make you feel some empathy for a mother that tried and failed. But if she spends too much time defending her decisions, it could cause a serious backlash.

Here are some pictures of Lynne Spears with her daughters over the last year. Images thanks to WENN.

There have been reports for several months that things aren’t going well in the relationship between Jamie Lynn Spears and boyfriend/soon-to-be baby daddy Casey Aldridge. And why should they be going well? They’re 17 and 19 years old – few relationships work out well at that age. Unfortunately for their relationship, the two are expecting a baby together, and got engaged a few months ago. According to Star (so take it with a grain of salt) Jamie Lynn has called off the wedding.

Jamie Lynn Spear’s baby joy turns to tears because her wedding to Casey Aldridge is off! In the new issue of Star, on newsstands now, we break the exclusive news that the pregnant teenager has called off her wedding. Ever since the Zoey 101 made the shocking announcement that she’s pregnant, her mom, Lynne Spears, has been pushing her to marry baby daddy Casey.

And while it seems like the teen mom-to-be has been trying her best to do the right thing, insiders tell Star that the tension between the two young parents-to-be has become so intense that it’s doubtful they will ever tie the knot.

“Jamie Lynn and Casey have been fighting non-stop about everything, from what to name the baby to what to eat for dinner,” a source tells Star. “And now she’s called off their wedding plans.”

[From Star]

The magazine also claims that Jamie Lynn has moved out of the home she bought and back into her mom’s home in Kentwood, Louisiana. They also say both mom Lynne and dad Jamie have left Los Angeles and are at home with Jamie Lynn, helping her out. Both parents – who are divorced – have spent an inordinate amount of time with Britney in L.A. recently – even on Jamie Lynn’s birthday.

It’s good that they’re both by their youngest daughter’s side right now. Star says the family is busy decorating the nursery in Lynne’s home. They say that Casey is, “in and out,” – implying that the couple are still together, but no longer engaged. Given their ages and the situation they’re in, it sounds like not planning a wedding is the best thing for right now. A baby at the age of 17 is a big enough challenge – negotiating the ins and outs of marriage can wait.

Apparently Jamie Lynn Spears’ fiancé Casey Aldridge doesn’t want her to be the only one who brings home the bacon. Aldridge plans to contribute some pork of his own earning, by joining the National Guard. Right now the 19-year-old works as a day laborer. Probably not the kind of guy Jamie Lynn’s parents had in mind for her. But it appears Aldridge isn’t content to live off of Jamie Lynn, despite all the speculation to the contrary. So he’s decided to join up, even though one third of Mississippi’s National Guard gets deployed to Iraq.

Casey Aldridge wants to be all that he can be - by joining the Army National Guard after Jamie Lynn Spears delivers their baby, sources say. The strapping 19-year-old day laborer has met with an Army recruiter several times, but he’s terrified to tell his 17-year-old fiancée, insiders tell the Enquirer.

“Casey wants to enlist in the National Guard after the baby is born. But he’s kept his plans secret from Jamie Lynn - and there’s no doubt she’s going to blow sky-high when she finds out,” a close source said.

“Joining the military has been a dream of Casey’s since long before Jamie Lynn came into the picture.” With “Zoey 101″ star Jamie Lynn’s acting career up in the air, Casey thinks the National Guard is a good career choice, according to insiders.

“Joining the National Guard appeals to Casey’s sense of adventure and patriotism,” said the close source.

[From the National Enquirer, June 16, 2008 print ed.]

A couple of thoughts here. First, if you’re terrified of telling your fiancée, you’re probably not ready to get married. And if you’re terrified of a 17-year-old girl, you’re probably not going to make the greatest soldier. Lastly, if you’re terrified to tell aforementioned 17-year-old pregnant fiancée because she’s “going to blow sky-high,” waiting until she finds out from the National Enquirer is a great way to get yourself locked out of the house and all your clothes set on fire. At least that’s the route I’d be going.

Jaime Lynn has managed to stay away from the cameras lately – header photo is an older picture of Jamie Lynn and Casey pre-pregnancy.

People Magazine has a nice story about how Jamie Lynn Spears, 17, and her fiance, Casey Aldridge, are setting up their new home in Liberty, Mississippi to prepare for their life together and their new baby, due soon. They have a house on five acres and have purchased typical furniture for a new home, including a four poster bed, a leather sofa and a canopy bed. The nursery for the new baby will feature pink, brown, and silver-green, and is being designed with the help of Jamie Lynn’s mother, Lynne.

Their property has a barn on it, because that’s what you typically find on larger property. It’s called a barn, not a garage, when it’s big and features more storage. I grew up in the Northeast and we had a barn. My parents now live in Virginia, and they have a barn on their new property. It’s common and not news.

Instead of covering the story that Jaime Lynn and Casey are settling into their new home and waiting for their baby, TMZ took the small fact that there was a barn on their land and used the misleading and rude headline “Jamie Lynn’s Baby Will Grow Up in a Barn.”

When I first read that, I thought that they were buying a big barn and converting it into a house, something that is more common lately. The results are often striking, with rustic-looking aesthetically pleasing structures that are just as comfortable as a regular home. But no, Casey and Jamie Lynn are just going to have a barn on their land and of course the baby is not going to live there.

If you have nothing funny to say just report the story, TMZ, and not your blatant bias against anyone who doesn’t live in a large city. I know I should just accept that TMZ is tasteless, rude and can be incredibly offensive, but that doesn’t mean they should continue to get away with it.

Update: And there’s also a crack about Asian people not being able to digest alcohol in that same article recapping the news. I don’t know why I even bother.