Thanks to the excellent snarky blog Rhymes with Snitch for this story I haven’t seen anywhere else. The night Paris Hilton flashed her ass in a too-short dress while dancing on a table at Janet Jackson’s birthday party at Tao (despite the fact that she claims to never dance on tables and there are even more recent pictures to the contrary,) she decided to serenade everyone at 3 AM with a drunken “Stars are Blind.”

Janet was understandably outraged and got the hell out of there immediately, taking 30 of her friends with her:

Paris often sings her own songs badly while wasted out at clubs, and she probably had no clue that she was doing anything wrong by warbling at an established pop artist’s joint birthday party and CD celebration.

Despite news that Janet Jackson’s new album is relatively tanking on the charts and may help sink her boyfriend Jermaine Dupri’s career at Virgin Records, she shopped for a $30 million dollar apartment in Manhattan last week, and claimed that Jermaine needed a huge closet because he has more shoes than she does.

Meanwhile Paris is still considered a scourge on the entertainment industry. Meatloaf has joined Jenny McCarthy in claiming that he plans to haunt Paris Hilton after he dies. And predictably, Paris was voted the top overexposed celebrity that people want to see less of. With that news, here are absolutely no pictures of Paris.

Janet Jackson claims she gained 60 pounds to play in the movie “Tennesee,” and that when the role fell through all she was left with was the weight. She said the only time she was comfortable was when she was laying down, but that her boyfriend Jermaine Dupree made her feel good about herself and that their sex life never suffered.

It turns out that a love of fried food may be responsible for Janet’s weight gain, and not a movie role. Fox News claims that the part never required Jackson to gain weight:

[via Gossip Rocks]

Well, it was a good excuse and it doesn’t really matter now because Janet is back to her fit, half-dressed self on the cover of every magazine. It’s amazing how fast she shaped up, but it must not be good for her health to yo-yo like that.

In related news, Janet gives out sex toys to her backup dancers. Janet has admitted that she’s a fan of the “rabbit,” the multi-purpose vibrator made famous by “Sex and the City,” and now says that she makes sure to spread the joy to those closest to her:

Too much information, Janet.

Oprah held her “Legends Ball” last night to honor the achievements of African-American women. Celebrities pictured include Oprah Winfrey, Janet Jackson, Jermaine Dupri, Tyra Banks, Mariah Carey, Spike Lee, Diddy, Smokey Robinson, Pam Grier, Dionne Warwick, Gayle King, Cicely Tyson, Deborah Roberts, Antonio LA Reid , and Nate Berkus.

A two hour special featuring highlights from the 2005 Legends Ball will air on ABC this Monday:

In the pictures of the event, Janet Jackson looks fit and happy, and Mariah Carey looks pretty good even though she’s wearing a stripper cut-out dress. 70s siren Pam Grier looks pretty bad, but I looked her up and she suffered from cancer in 1998 and was given 18 months to live. She was gorgeous in Jackie Brown in 1997. Hopefully she’s on the road to recovery and will get a makeover soon.