Janice Dickinson must be the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. How this creature used to be a supermodel is absolutely beyond me. Even without the trout pout, I can’t imagine her ever looking like anything less than a puddle of mud. I think it’s her terrible personality that makes her so unattractive. If she weren’t such a raving bitch I wouldn’t be okay with calling her ugly. But as it stands, I think it’s just that her soul is so vile it’s actually oozing out her pores.

Here’s a little J-Dick story to give the kiddies nightmares before bed:

JANICE Dickinson sure knows how to distract a pilot. The so-called original supermodel was on a recent private NetJets flight from LA to NY when she strolled into the cockpit and flashed the pilot, said a source. “She just went in and did a little shimmy and walked out,” said the source. Dickinson tells us through her rep that she’d “admit it if I did it,” but claims she didn’t. A NetJets rep declined to comment.

[From the New York Post]

I have no idea how private planes work, but I’d guess that some sort of FAA violation. Which might mean it’s hogwash, I don’t know. But Janice is vile enough to try to crash a plane mid-air. Which is the only thing she could possibly be trying to do. There’s no way she could think a man would WANT to see her tater tots.

Here’s Janice leaving Bristol Farms after doing some shopping in Los Angeles yesterday. I always do that with my carrots too. Images thanks to WENN.

There are only two things in the world I that I find intolerably frightening: moths and Janice Dickinson. While the winged messengers of Satan can generally be avoided by keeping the windows closed in the summertime, photos of Janice Dickinson parading her gangly ass around town sadly cannon.

WENN found Janice walking around Sunset Boulevard without the slightest bit of shame as she flouted her GorTex-enhanced trout pout. Even for Janice, these lips are legendary. They put all other embarrassing cases of fish lips to shame. How in the world could she think this looks good on her? It seems like she’s trying to balance out her bottom-heavy face with those glasses, but in this case they just emphasize her aquatic appearance.

Here’s Janice Dickinson leaving Starbucks on Sunset Boulevard with coffee and a copy of The New York Times on Tuesday. Because we all know she pours over the business section religiously, concerned about the economy and housing foreclosure rate. Clearly she’s not trying to get attention or anything, because it’s totally normal to pose in your car with your legs not evening hanging out the window but instead perched in the door jam while reading a newspaper. She is truly the epitome of both class and normal behavior. Images thanks to WENN.

Never let anyone accuse Sylvester Stallone of being a gentleman. Or classy. Or dignified in any way. Sly’s had a number of unhappy relationships over the years. He’s also been injecting God knows what into his body for at least the last… well let’s see, he’s 61 now… so I’m going to say he’s been injecting crap into his body for at least the last 58 years. Though if you’ve ever seen pictures of his mother, Jackie Stallone (who is an astrologer, former dancer, and promoter of women’s wrestling) you know the odds are pretty good he was getting some type of injection in the womb. That woman is all kinds of crazy. Anyway, Sly hooked up with equally crazy and self-proclaimed “World’s first supermodel” Janice Dickinson back in the early nineties. And between the mouths on the two of them, you’d think it’d be a match made in heaven, right? Well either that or a total nightmare, and it turns out it was more the latter. Janice got pregnant with what she thought was Sly’s daughter – turns out she’d slept with three guys in one week, and Stallone was not the dad. But they didn’t know that until two months after Dickenson’s daughter was born, and she and Sly stayed in a relationship until he found out the paternity. Janice is now claiming that not only did Sly juice himself, but he’d inject her too.

On U.S. news show Red Eye earlier this week, Dickinson alleged she had seen Stallone doing steroids. She said: “He juiced me.

“I’d wake up and my arm was as big as Popeye – steroids, testosterone, all that stuff that people say [mimicking Stallone voice], ‘Hey, it’s not that good ’cause you get really big, you know what I mean?’”

Host Greg Gutfeld replied: “So that’s an actual confirmation, though? You did see him juice?”

Dickinson answered: “I did confirm that, didn’t I?”

[From the Daily Mail]

Awesome. Dickinson claims that thanks to Sly’s “vitamin” and exercise regime, she was able to walk the catwalk for Versace six weeks after giving birth. Apparently her claims didn’t sit well with the always-upstanding Stallone, and he felt the need to defend his gentlemanly honor on Howard Stern’s show yesterday.

Sylvester Stallone had an armed guard deliver an advance screener of the new “Rambo” to Howard Stern, who gave the flick five stars when Sly called in yesterday to see if he liked it.

The talk quickly turned to women, with Sly denying Janice Dickinson’s claims he injected her with steroids. “The only thing I injected her with was my fist,” he joked. He also claimed Brigitte Nielsen was one of the “least crazy” women he’s dated and that saucy redhead Angie Everhart was demented.

[From Page Six]

You know what’s always funny? Jokes about beating up your former girlfriends. Really, that humor never gets old. God forbid there were 8 people left in the world that didn’t think Sylvester Stallone was a total slime ball. He’s probably just cranky from all the steroids he’s not injecting into himself. Or anybody else. I’m not saying there’s any reason to believe a word that comes out of Janice Dickinson’s mouth. That woman redefines crazy. But it’s probably not the greatest thing to joke that you beat her up. I think if there’s anyone out there who’s crazy enough to take on Sylvester Stallone in a fight, it’s Janice Dickinson.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Janice Dickinson at the Fox Reality Channel Really Awards on October 10th. Header of Stallone donating memorabilia from “Rambo” to Planet Hollywood on January 17th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Sylvester Stallone has anther lame Rambo/Rocky/whatever movie coming out, and to try and stop it sinking down with Rocky Balboa, he’s dropping the names of some people who can sell box office tickets. Like Matt Damon.

He said: “I think that some young actors will look at me as this archaic, prehistoric creature because now we’ve become much more scientific, less personal.

“Most of my peers were very physical. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis – they were just more hands-on. I think that a lot more actors today are hands-off and they’re more intellectual.”

Stallone believes Rambo would wipe the floor with Matt Damon’s Bourne Ultimatum character Jason Bourne in a fight.

He joked: “Rambo would murder Jason Bourne. I’m kidding. Maybe the one in The Transporter though – Jason Statham.”

Sydney Morning Herald

Hopefully this challenge won’t lead to a Rambo vs Bourne flick (has anyone seen Alien vs Predator II? I didn’t think so). While Rambo might be tougher, I think he’d have to catch Bourne first. We know which one is more intelligent!

The other things these characters have over the 80′s heroes is they have speaking roles. Does Rambo say anything during the whole first movie?

Checking out the new trailer on YouTube, it looks appropriately violent and features the obligatory hysterical female character. Don’t watch it if you don’t like blood, he’s ripping people’s throats out and all sorts of boy gore.

Yeah, I’ll be sticking to Bourne. Hubby will go see it. Probably twice.

Sly doesn’t address the Janice Dickinson allegations of him ‘juicing’ her with steroids, but I think the interview took place before she said it. Rambo hits cinemas January 25.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Sylvester Stallone is shown donating “Rambo” memorabilia to Planet Hollywood in New York on 1/17/08. Matt Damon is shown at the Toronto International Film Festival on 9/9/07, thanks to PRPhotos.

Boy the weight criticisms are really getting out of control in Hollywood lately. Ever since pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt emerged where she had the nerve to look less-than-skeletal, everyone has been jumping on the bandwagon and trying to get their say in. Though it seems like most celebs have the common sense to only say positive things, clearly some people are thinking otherwise, or this wouldn’t be an issue and we wouldn’t still be hearing about it. Cindy Crawford got some critiques from the Daily Mail for her less-that-airbrushed (ie totally normal) stomach the other day, and now Janice Dickinson is calling Tyra Banks fat.

Tyra weathered her own fat storm a few months ago, when she was photographed looking a little “thick” during a beach vacation. I still don’t think she looked fat, per se, and a lot can be attributed to poor camera angles, harsh light, and a bad choice for a swimsuit. Tyra fought back by wearing the offending bathing suit on her show, showing she looked fine, normal, and healthy. She also compared how she looks now to how she looked as a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model years ago, and was photographed in the same bathing suit, showing that she’d changed a little, but not all that drastically. In all fairness, she was clearly retouched to within an inch of her life in the recent photo she did. She almost looked drawn. I’m not criticizing her body and I whole-heartedly appreciate her promoting healthy, realistic body images. But if that’s what she was really trying to do, she should have been secure enough to release the new photos with a normal amount of airbrushing. Showing us a cartoon and asking us to believe that’s how you really look is insulting, and it kills your argument.

Janice Dickinson – who I believe has inherited the Queen of Mean title from the recently deceased Leona Helmsley – was on the Today show yesterday to promote her reality show “The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency.” At one point, Al Roker asked her how she felt about the Jennifer Love Hewitt controversy. Dickinson was actually fairly kind.

They continued the streak today by inviting Janice Dickinson, the self-described first supermodel, and discussed whether a size 2 is fat. Janice defended Hewitt, called her “healthy” and “not emaciated.” She continued, “You want to see someone who’s fat, I’m sorry, Tyra, Tyra Banks is fat.” Banks used to be Dickinson’s boss in the early seasons of “America’s Next Top Model” and has herself been the subject of unflattering bathing suit photos.

After she was confronted by Al Roker about the remark, she sort of backed off, but it’s unclear if she was being genuine.

[From the Huffington Post]

It seemed like Dickinson just said that because she knew she’d be in a world of hurt if she didn’t. Though frankly she’s getting a ton of negative press for saying it at all. Even in the worst photo published, I think it’s unfair to call Tyra Banks fat. Our perception of how celebrities are supposed to look gets altered over time, and eventually we see a stick as normal. I imagine Tyra Banks looks perfectly healthy in real life. Last week I wrote an article about Carrie Underwood and her “healthy diet” tips. I noted that she had lost a lot of weight, but seemed okay as long as she didn’t lose anymore. Several commenters pointed out that she looks normal in pictures and normal for Hollywood, but that she would probably look alarmingly skinny in real life. And looking closer, I definitely agree. Once in a while you’ll see a photograph of a celebrity next to a regular person, and it’s shocking how tiny they are. It’s just that our points of reference get messed up, and you become accustomed to seeing a certain thing.

I appreciate Janice’s decent take on Jennifer Love Hewitt, but I hope she’ll come out and officially correct her statement regarding Tyra Banks. It’s for her own good; I would not want Tyra on my bad side.

Dickinson: ‘Hewitt is a healthy girl’

Note by Celebitchy: Someone is jealous of a former supermodel with a successful talkshow when they have to resort to reality shows and cheap tactics like this to get attention. Janice Dickinson is shown on 10/02/07 at the Fox Reality show awards. Tyra Banks is shown looking great at Fashion Week on 9/10/07 and at the CW Network Upfronts on 5/17/07, thanks to PRPhotos.

Janice Dickinson is going to star in a reality series as she runs her own modeling agency in Hollywood. It’s going to air on the network that no one watches, Oxygen. From what we saw on Surreal Life, she’s unbalanced but that doesn’t mean her show will be interesting.

The show was originally scheduled to start filming back in November, but just had its initial casting call for models yesterday, when these pictures were taken.

It’s hard to resist publishing pictures of Dickinson, who pulls all sorts of stupid faces. She’s a good candidate for the new site Buttafaces.com.