I love me some Will Smith. I also love me some Will Smith movies. (Well, except for Hitch. Okay, Hitch and The Legend of Bagger Vance. Okay, Hitch, The Legend of Bagger Vance and Wild Wild West. My point is, I still watch Fresh Prince, okay?!) Anyhoo I’m sort of gagging over his new film Hancock. I mean have you seen the trailers? Now THOSE are some special effects! But what isn’t having a special effect on me is the suit he wore to the Los Angeles premiere of the film. I mean did he keep that from the costume department of Bagger Vance? Where’s his caddy then? I don’t care what they say plaid is not rad. Especially full body plaid. Which leads me to Thomas Jane.

Really, Thomas Jane? Really? Were your overalls dirty so you decided to come to a Hollywood premiere dressed like a trucker? I get that it’s not your movie and I get that you don’t even have a cameo in it, but seriously is it too hard to tuck in a shirt and perhaps shave? I hope this lackadaisical attitude doesn’t rear it’s ugly head in his upcoming film Mutant Chronicles. (Which by the way BETTER be minimally enjoyable… unlike The Mist.) Speaking of mist, thank you Charlize Theron for finally laying off the spray tanning. You look lovely. I don’t get what black nail polish has to do with anything, but I’m gonna look beyond that because your make up looks fresh and appropriate and that necklace is perfect. I’m borderline on that gown, but I love the color and I get what you’re going for…unlike Valerie Bertinelli. This worries me. Valerie Bertinelli looks like Barbra Streisand’s Mini-Me. Why is she wearing a drape? I mean seriously! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: “Clothing should be draped, not drapes.” This tells me she does not believe in her Jenny Craig’d fabulous body which really breaks my heart, because she looks amazing. I’m just sayin’ I would think if she just lost 40 pounds and is a spokesperson for a weight loss program AND she’s back on red carpets that she would be showin’ it all off to get some new fabulous jobs… aw, well. Maybe she’s just taking it one day at a time…And that’s just what Lisa Raye should be doing. I love the new hair (I actually have that same hair in a box in my closet), but what is up with that hot tranny mess of an ensemble? (Minus the sandals of course: LOVING THEM!) It’s part bridesmaid, part summer teen and part tablecloth all in one!

As I look at it now it looks like this entire red carpet is a mess. Does Justine Bateman think she’s still on the set of Satisfaction? Has Kevin James gone Gangsta Rapper on us? Is Minnie Driver about to break into a routine from Flashdance? Did Queen Latifah just happen to be doing her cardio down Hollywood Boulevard and made a wrong turn and ended up on the red carpet? Does Amanda Peet not realize her makeup is that of a cracked out rocker on a 10 day binge? Has Virginia Madsen FINALLY proved to us once and for all what really IS black and white and red all over?

(Sigh, I am exhausted)`

Special thanks go out to Jason Bateman for being the real hero of the red carpet of a superhero movie. He looks like a true star at an actual premiere for one of the summer’s hottest films. Thank you Jason…and I miss Arrested Development more than you will ever know. (Is it true there’s rumored to be an A.D. movie in ‘09? Please say yes, PLEASE!)

The stars were out for the premiere of the new terrorism-themed film The Kingdom in LA on Monday. Jennifer Garner looked stunning in a loose red dress with tiered layers. Jada Pinkett Smith’s outfit was a definite miss, though. She wore fuschia satin shorts paired with a matching jacket. She loves bright colors and looks great in simple dresses with shocking colors, but her look was just wrong. Her husband Will looked hot though in a quilted black leather jacket, shades and dark jeans.

I saw the trailer for this movie during one of my rare nights out when my husband and I went to see The Bourne Supremacy. It looks like a good intelligent thriller, and centers around FBI agents, played by Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman and Chris Cooper, trying to capture a lead terrorist after a civilian attack on the US. Watching the trailer gave me goosebumps and it hit too close to home for me as I lived right near NY when 9/11 happened. I’m not sure theater-goers are ready for that with the war still going on and touching so many people. (Not that there is any connection between the war and 9/11. It’s just that too many people have died recently through random acts of terrorism, and there’s a lot of that in this movie.) It looks like it provides the riveting story of the capture of a top terrorist, but I don’t think I would be able to watch it, even on DVD.

Here’s the trailer:

The Kingdom is getting decent reviews, and is said to be an action-packed film with a tight plot. It currently has a 60% aggregate critics rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The Kingdom is out in US theaters on September 28.

Shown at the premiere are Jennifer Garner, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, a hot-looking pregnant Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon, Jeremy Piven looking beat, Amanda Peet, Jamie Foxx, Chris Cooper, and Jason Bateman. Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures.