You know how Paris Hilton is a genius? True story. She single-handedly changed the nature of celebrity. Is that giving her too much credit? Probably. Before Paris, there were lots of people who were “famous for being famous” and there were heiresses and reality stars and amateur porn stars and there were famewhores. Paris was all of that, and then some, all put in some weird, gross, coked-out stripper package, and she really did change it all. For the worst. But just as Paris changed the game, her predecessors came along and improved on the game. Look at Nicole Richie today – a mother of two, a wife of a rock star, head of a successful clothing and jewelry line, all of it completely legit. Then there are the Kardashians. Kim K. and Paris used to hang out. A lot. Circa 2005-06, they partied a lot together. Then Kim “stole” Paris’s famewhore game and improved upon it. And now Kim is much more “A-list” and legit than Paris.

As you can imagine, there has been drama between the two women. Last year, there were even some reports of Kim and Paris acting really bitchy towards each other at various events, basically fighting over who is the biggest (fame)whore. Paris seems to have a significant amount of resentment towards Kim, and being a petty, jealous moron, Paris’s jealousy occasionally comes bubbling up in interviews:

Paris Hilton says she has met all of her professional goals. The woman who perfected the art of being famous for being famous says she doesn’t fear being overshadowed by Kim Kardashian or any other reality show rival.

Hilton said in an interview Tuesday with The Associated Press that there are many people who try to imitate what she does. But she said, in her words, “I am the original so there is nothing like me.”

She added that she has “done everything that I wanted to do and I feel very blessed that I have been very successful on every area. So it’s very exciting. There is nothing else to do”.

Hilton was in Mexico to promote her new shoe line.

[From The Associated Press]

Wow, there really is nothing else to do, Paris. You’ve “done” it “all”. You should be so proud. “I am the original so there is nothing like me.” It’s like she’s challenging us. Like, scientists are working ‘round the clock to map her genomes because she’s so special. I wish she was a virus, so that we could develop some kind of vaccine.

God, I love photos of Kim’s original face.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

As we know, PopEater’s gossip guy Rob Shuter is sometimes right, sometimes wrong. He’s made a few good calls and had a handful of scoops, to the point where I think he has some good sources. But once again, you are free to have doubts about the following story. According to Pop Eater (and many, many outlets), Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock are pretty much dating at this point. My take is that Sandy and Ryan probably weren’t boning while he was still married, but that they probably jumped on each other as soon as all of the paperwork was filed. In which case, Sandy’s not really Ryan’s jumpoff, although the two have moved very quickly. I kind of hate them as a couple, but CB likes them. Meh. Anyhoodle, PopEater’s report is basically claiming that Scarlett isn’t happy AT ALL with the turn of events:

By now, everyone has heard about the rumored romance between Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. That includes the actor’s soon-to-be ex-wife, Scarlett Johansson, who, I’m told by friends, isn’t too happy.

“Scarlett is a deeply private person, who during her entire marriage was only ever seen and photographed with her husband a handful of times,” a friend of the actress tells me. “Now, less than a month after they split that fool has gone and got himself photographed with [Bullock] on New Year’s Eve of all days. Of course she is devastated.”

Images showed up just over a week ago of Sandra and Ryan celebrating New Year’s together at Bess Bistro, which Sandra owns in Texas, depicting the actress dressed as a flapper. A source at the time told me that the two were leaning on each other for support.

Bullock’s rep has insisted they are “nothing more than friends.” But sources told RadarOnline.com on Monday that the pair are “very much dating” and that they’ve even made a trip or two to her Jackson Hole, Wyo., getaway.

No one is suggesting that Sandra, who has clearly moved on from her split with Jesse James, had anything to do with Ryan and Scarlett’s downfall, but that hasn’t made this any less painful for the ‘Lost in Translation’ starlet.

“Even if they are not a couple yet, this is very awkward for Scarlett. She too thinks of Sandy as a friend and hates the thought that Sandy is on team Ryan after the breakup, that is if she isn’t already his girlfriend,” an insider tells me.

[From PopEater]

While I have no problems believing that Ryan and Sandy are bonin’, I do have my doubts as to how “devastated” ScarJo might be. Personally, I kind of thought ScarJo would have moved on faster than Ryan, if she wasn’t already bonin’ other dudes while still married. Maybe ScarJo thought she’d be the one to move on first too – and that’s why she’s hurt. It’s her pride. I do think in the long run, though, ScarJo is going to have bigger and better partners than Ryan. This Ryan-Sandra thing just seems to temporary, so rebound.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

I have to admit I really like that new TLC show Sister Wives, about a polygamist family in Utah with four wives, one dad, 13 biological kids and 3 step kids. The family, run by dad Kody Brown, is really likable and gives polygamy a kind of rosy, upper-middle class glow. (Which I am in no way claiming is typical, read our earlier coverage.) We did a long recap earlier this week, when the show premiered and the news came out that the Browns were being investigated for felony bigamy as a result of their new fame. One thing I mentioned in our last story on the Browns is the fact that third wife, Christine, (who is currently pregnant on the episodes airing now but has since had the baby), was the most openly jealous of the fact that Kody was “courting” another woman, a 31 year-old divorced single mother with three kids. Radar Online has a sneak peak of this week’s episode, airing Sunday, and Christine says that she’s very upset that Kody dared to kiss the new woman, Robyn, after he proposed marriage. Christine said that since Kody was a married man when she met him, she didn’t kiss him until they were married and she expected the same from Robyn. You know, I don’t get the distinction at all. Here’s Radar’s coverage:

The complicated balancing act Kody Brown must do to keep his wives happy hits a snag in the upcoming episode of Sister Wives and in the sneak peak, Christine is upset when she learns some shocking news about the potential new wife.

“I found out that Kody sealed the engagement with a kiss,” Christine said about his proposal to Robyn, the soon-to-be fourth wife.

Describing her own relationship with Kody, Christine said “We didn’t kiss until over the alter [sic] because I didn’t feel right about kissing a married man.”

“It was devastating,” she revealed.

Robyn is equally emotional about hurting her future sister wife. “I got really upset because I knew I’d hurt you,” she said to Christine.

In tears, Robyn says, “I knew it would be complicated, but I didn’t know it would break my heart as well.”

[From Radar]

Kody was married to three of his wives well before any of them had kids, and I got the impression that they’re all good friends and are very comfortable with each other and the well established roles they serve in the household. While both Janelle and Mari, Kody’s first two wives, said on the last episode they would welcome another woman as it was getting a little boring for them, Christine said that she liked the way things were and that she didn’t want another woman coming in. Christine stays home with the children (who are no longer home schooled) and would probably feel the disruption from another woman and three more kids the most. It’s a complicated situation made even more so by bringing in yet another woman with her own kids. A few of you commented that it seems suspicious that Kody is adding another wife at this point, right when they’re filming a reality show, and that it could be a pre-arranged plot twist that they used as a selling point. I’d like to think that they wouldn’t do that to their family or their kids, but you never know what people are capable of, especially when fame and cash are involved.

I remember hearing at one point that Sandra Bullock wasn’t the first choice for the lead in The Blind Side, but for some reason, I never really thought about it. It turns out that Julia Roberts was the first actress approached for the role that ended up winning Sandra Bullock her first best actress Oscar. Ha! Can you even imagine that? You read that script and you’re like, “This sucks, I’m going to say no!” and it ends up winning someone else an Oscar? That wasn’t the first time for Julia, either. She was the first actress who was supposedly approached for Shakespeare In Love, if memory serves. And that won Gwyneth Paltrow her Oscar too! Anyway, long story short, Julia is now totally like “That bitch Sandra Bullock is stealing my thunder.” Team Bullock:

She’s an Oscar-winning actress with three children and a happy marriage, but Julia Roberts still regrets one thing she gave up.

“Julia can’t help but feel upset that she had the chance to be in The Blinde Side, and turned it down,” an insider tells In Touch. Not only did Julia pass on the role that won Sandra Bullock an Oscar, she was also replaces by Sandra in The Proposal after she refused to lower her salary. Sandra did take the pay cut, but her backend bonuses ended up making her Hollywood’s highest-paid actress. (Sandra earned $56 million in 2009; Julia made $20 million.)

Julia’s new movie, Eat, Pray, Love, has helped re-stoke her acting ambitions – Julia said as much in a interview: “I was proud that my passion was still vibrant in me.”

An insider says: “Julia’s a mom first, but she still wants to be the biggest female star in the world.”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

I doubt that Julia “still wants to be the biggest female star in the world” because in Julia’s mind, she’s still right there. Nevermind that Eat, Pray, Love is the first film she’s had to carry as a true lead in more than five years – in Julia’s mind, she’s still the biggest, most important, most special STAR in the world. Nevermind that another generation has come in, and they don’t really give a crap about Julia’s big horse laugh. And I love that Sandra’s best career year ever was achieved by simply saying “yes” to whatever Julia said “no” to. Julia was all “I won’t do it until I get MORE MONEY.” And Sandra was like, “Oh, a funny script, sure, I’ll take a pay cut because I believe in this project. But, yes, let‘s discuss the backend.” And once again, this has become Sandra Bullock’s master class in how to do business. They should teach a seminar: What I Learned From Watching Sandy.

Don’t you think Sofia Vergara is one of those ladies we should be covering all of the time? I do. Earlier this week, we covered her wonderful profile in Esquire, where she made a hilariously honest cut on Madonna, insinuating that Madge looked like “a freak” with her plastic surgery. Hopefully, Sofia won’t back-track and she’ll keep being honest and funny in interviews. She’s up for an Emmy this year (for Modern Family), and I’m thinking that Sofia will continue to garner more and more press as the show takes off. This success might not be so great for her personal life, however – the Enquirer is reporting that Sofia’s fiancé isn’t thrilled with all of the attention she’s been getting:

Sofia Vergara’s romance has hit the skids – because her boyfriend of seven months can’t handle her success! Sofia has called off her marriage and baby plans with banking heir Nick Loeb because of his escalating jealousy over her attentive fans and skyrocketing career, sources tell the Enquirer.

“In a few weeks, Sofia and Nick have gone from bliss to nonstop bickering,” a friend disclosed. While Nick is struggling to launch a Hollywood producing career, Emmy-nominated Sofia is basking in her celebrity status. Cracks began to surface after the couple jetted off for a prewedding Italian honeymoon in early July.

“Instead of spending quality time with Nick, Sofia celebrated her nomination by parading around in a skimpy bikini and lapping up the attention of gawking male fans,” the friend revealed. “Nick got sick and tired of watching his future bride flirting with strangers.”

Nick put his foot down and told her to knock it off, says a source. But Sofia “quickly got turned off by Nick’s possessiveness” and began to reconsider their fast track wedding and baby plans.

Sofia and Nick, 35, began dating in early spring. Although Nick was in the midst of a bitter divorce battle with his estranged wife, he proposed to Sofia in late May. But things changed quickly.

“They’re still together, but barely,” added the friend.

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

Um… isn’t Sofia the kind of woman that pretty much every hetero man would sell their souls to be with? She could be a serial killer who never bathes and men would still be buying engagement rings. So yes, other men are going to notice her, and yes, she’s finally found the kind of stardom that she fought for and worked for. Suck it up. She’s awesome, and other people notice.

Last week, Al and Tipper Gore announced their separation after forty years of marriage. Many of our first thoughts were along the lines of “I bet he cheated.” And then, “Oh, maybe she cheated.” Of course we’re bad, horrible people who think the worst. But you know what? According to the Enquirer, Tipper was thinking the same stuff. The Enquirer’s sources claim that Tipper “allowed herself to suspect the worse” about Al, although, “there’s never been proof that Al had affairs.” So Tipper would get crazy jealous, and Al had enough, and HE dumped HER. One source says: “I think she’s always believed there was something going on between Al and many of the women in his life.” These mysterious women who get hot for robots? An environmentalist in the Clinton cabinet when Gore was veep, a “sexy Hollywood actress,” a message therapist, a cheerleader (really?) and Al’s first girlfriend. Let’s break it down (all of this comes from the Enquirer, by the way:

*The high-school sweetheart, named Donna. Donna is dead now. But she gave an interview in 2000 and she talked about how Tipper was a jealous bitch… in 1970, when Al introduced Tipper to Donna, Tipper wouldn’t acknowledge her. Boring. And the woman is dead!

*The Cabinet member, “Environmental Advisor” Kathleen McGinty. There were rumors about Al and Kathleen in 1995, but the Enquirer claims that they investigated at the time and “the two had a strictly professional relationship.” My guess? Bubba probably boned her, but Al didn’t hit it.

*The message therapist, name unknown. Circa 2000, there were rumors about Al having a “fling” with his massage therapist. The source says: “Tipper knew that Al had a daily massage, and she was always jealous of the therapists… he mostly had female masseuses, but Tipper became so vocal about the women that Al switched to male therapists to keep the peace.” Verdict? Hand-jobs, probably.

*The “sultry screen star,” name unknown. Why do I think it’s Leo DiCaprio? Anyway, circa 2001, there was a “whispering campaign” about it. Tipper confronted him about Leo (or whoever) but Al denied it. The source says: “By this time, Tipper’s jealousy was putting stress on their marriage.” My take: Al & Leo 4 Eva.

*The cheerleader, name unknown, but identified as “a gorgeous 23 year-old Tennessee Titans cheerleader.” Once again, this sounds more like Bubba’s type, right? Maybe Al was just being a good wingman, a bro, and covering for his buddy. Anyway, the cheerleader was allegedly the last girl that Tipper went into a “jealous rage” about.

That’s about it. The rest of the article is just about money and how much Tipper could get in the divorce. The Enquirer tries to list Al’s assets, but they make a hash out of it, and now I can’t really tell. My own guess is that Al is worth something like $200-250 million, but that’s the number the Enquirer is using for Tipper’s possible payday. Eh. Who knows?

A few weeks ago, Demi Moore started an asinine fight with Kim Kardashian on Twitter. The whole thing allegedly started when Kim posted a photo of herself and two friends with the caption “Big Pimpin’ w @SerenajWilliams @LaLaVazquez @Kelly_Rowland Love u girls!” This sent Demi into a tizzy, bitching and moaning about Kim’s use of the word “pimpin’”. If Demi’s sanctimonious bullsh-t wasn’t enough, Kim reacted with enough grace to make her the winner of the little Twitter war, and Kim ended up writing “Good point! I agree! It was just a song not literal.” Ugh.

Now the National Enquirer is reporting that there could be some additional backstory between this ridiculous Twitter Pimpin’ non-controversy. The Enquirer claims that Demi is totally jealous of Kim, because Kim and Ashton are friendly and flirt with each other and Ashton even talks about how much he likes Kim and Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Note to Ashton: Please don’t admit you watch the Kardashian show. Everyone watches it, but no one admits it. For good reason – it’s trashy as hell. Here’s more:

Demi Moore is seething with jealously over hubby Ashton Kutcher’s “crush” on cute, curvy and newly single Kim Kardashian!

That’s the real story behind the cyber war that’s been raging between the two femme fatales, the Enquirer has learned.

Ashton, 32, and Kim, 29, struck up a friendship last year after she approached him to produce TV projects together – and Ashton’s been gushing about how “beautiful and intelligent” Kim is ever since, said a source.

“Ashton is a huge fan of ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians.’ But Demi says she can’t even bear to watch…”

Despite being married for more than four years, Demi, 47 still grapples with insecurities over her and Ashton’s 15 year age difference, the source added.

“And Kim flirts like crazy with Ashton, which drives Demi nuts…”

“Demi saw an opportunity to publicly embarrass Kim, so she took it. It was her way of saying ‘back off,’” said the source…

Unfortunately, Demi’s plan to put Kim in her place backfired.

“Ashton ended up chastising Demi for starting the fight,” added the source.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, April 19, 2010]

I actually believe this story because it makes a lot of sense. Demi’s Twitter attack on Kim kind of came out of nowhere, and I could see how Demi had been pissy about all things Kardashian for weeks or months until she found an opening to pick a fight with Kim. Now, do I believe that Ashton likes Kim or that they flirt? Probably not, in real life. But whatever minor relationship Kim and Ashton did have or do have was enough to piss off Demi.

I just now saw these photos of Kim from this week… uh, did she have some “work” done recently? She looks like a cat.

Can you feel it? This is what it feels like when the tide turns against one of George Clooney’s girlfriends. Not to be a broken record about this, but I don’t think Elisabetta Canalis is going to last much longer. And now the tabloid reporting is starting to reflect that! After seeming to be bored with each other at the Golden Globes, George didn’t even bring Canalis to the SAGs, and she’s been MIA for more than a week – I think she might have gone back to Italy? I seem to remember photos of her in Italy several days ago? Maybe I’m mistaken. But I don’t think I’m wrong about her not lasting too much longer.

While just a week ago, the tabloids were writing glowing reports about George and marriage and babies and Elisabetta being “the one,” this week’s Enquirer has the first negative report about Elisabetta. It’s a good one, too. Apparently, she’s “jealous” of Clooney’s friends. Namely, his female friends. And you know Clooney doesn’t roll like that.

George Clooney’s relationship with Elisabetta is doomed to fail, say pals – because she’s jealous of his friendships with other women.

“Elisabetta is crazy about George and she gets very possessive when George pays too much attention to another woman… When other women get too close to him she always slips her hand around his arm as if to say, ‘He’s mine!’”

Elisabetta fumed her way through the Golden Globes after George’s former costar Julianna Margulies stopped to hug him on her way to the stage.

“You could almost see the smoke coming out of Elisabetta’s ears… She was standing up and hugging her in front of everyone.”

The situation grew even more strained at the after-parties, as dozens of George’s friends and acquaintances – both men and women – vied for his attention.

“Elisabetta bristled at the parade of women who were very affectionate with kisses and some whispers and laughter – and the fact that George enjoyed the attention… If Elisabetta can’t understand that George is buddies with plenty of women, including his old girlfriends, their relationship is doomed.”

“Elisabetta doesn’t understand that his friends are just that and she has nothing to worry about… George is very comfortable with Elisabetta, but if she starts rocking his boat regarding his friendships with women, she’ll find herself walking the plank.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, February 8, 2010]

This is the sound of George’s butler packing Elisabetta’s bags. No, seriously – is this true? I can’t decide. I wasn’t paying attention to any of the Clooney-and-Canalis cutaways at the Globes, so I don’t know if Canalis looked pissy or not. I could conceivably buy it, I guess. Probably because I could totally see myself reacting the same way if the guy I’d been dating for several months was paying too much attention to a parade of gorgeous actresses. Of course, I would never get to that point, because I’m not into all of the kinky sh-t George is allegedly into. Anyway… George doesn’t like possessive. He doesn’t do controlling, ballsy, jealous, crazy women. If she is acting like this, she’s gone.

George and Elisabetta at the Globes, on January 17, 2010. Below, various photos of George being friendly with other women, like Julianna Margulies, Vera Farmiga, Julia Roberts, and Renee Zellweger. Credit: WENN.

It seems like it’s been a while since anyone paid attention to Paris Hilton. It’s like the whole world collectively realized that there were other vapid twits to make fun of and mock, and Paris got left in the dust. But now Paris is getting her revenge! Sort of. Apparently, she’s really jealous of all the attention the Kardashian girls are getting, especially considering she “made” Kim Kardashian a celebrity by deigning to hang out with her. Paris has decided, according to Page Six, to become more like the girls she “mentored”. She’s going to tone it down, get rid of the pink Bentley, and talk about babies. Seriously.

Paris Hilton is declaring war on her former best friends, the Kardashian sisters, for becoming more famous and earning more cash than she does.

The hotel heiress is fuming that Kim and her sibs, who got their first big break by hanging out on the Hollywood scene with Hilton, have eclipsed her in the fame and money stakes. Sources say she’s hatched a plan to boost her brand by pushing a new beauty line and make herself more likable by playing down her lavish lifestyle.

A source told Page Six: “Paris is furious that Kim got her start by hanging out in Hollywood with her — and now, the Kardashians have it all, the reality shows, the magazine covers, the big appearance fees and promotional deals.”

“She used to command $100,000 for club appearances, but now Kim is the hottest girl — and they aren’t friends anymore. The magazines are bidding around $300,000 for Kourtney’s baby-shower and baby pictures. And Khloe’s wedding brought in record ratings for E!”

“Paris has realized that standing for excess in a recession doesn’t appeal,” our insider continued. “The Kardashian girls seem more real, and girls identify with them more. She’s got to ditch the pink Bentley and concentrate on developing herself.”

Sources close to Hilton said she’s carefully working on the launch of her new hair and beauty line, which she’ll unveil in Beverly Hills on Tuesday, taking the lead from the Kardashians by having her family at her side. And she’s keen to play up her more stable relationship with Doug Reinhardt and talk about the possibility of marriage and babies.

The source added: “Paris has 15 product lines on sale. She isn’t really a party girl anymore, she is quite settled with Doug. She wants more people to appreciate that she’s grown up.” A rep for Hilton declined to comment.

[From Page Six]

Yeah, I’ll buy this. All of it. I think Paris probably is jealous of Kim and any other faux-celebrity who is known for anything other than being a f-cking idiot. I’ll also buy that Paris is so ridiculous she thinks people want to hear her talk about babies and how she’s in a committed relationship, all in that grating, baby-ish stripper voice. But consider this – Paris has been keeping a lower profile for several months now… could it be that she’s actually trying to change her image for real? If it’s for real, I actually have to give the Kardashian girls some credit. They did what no other faux-celebrity could manage – they got Paris Hilton to sit down and shut up for a little while.

Here’s Paris, Kim Kardashian and someone I think is Kourtney Kardashian partying at Kim’s birthday party at TAO nightclub in Las Vegas on October 20, 2006. Also, Paris and Kim on the red carpet for the Los Angeles Premiere of ‘Entourage’ on June 1, 2006. Credit for all: WENN.

For a few weeks now, there have been some mutterings and tragic gossip that Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds were having some serious issues. It all started when Ryan didn’t show up for Comic-Con, and ScarJo did. There were multiple reports that Ryan was supposed to show up, but didn’t because he and ScarJo had some major falling out. Very quickly, their reps denied the hell out of those reports. And yet… they still linger. Star and In Touch have shockingly similar stories about the problems within the ScarJo-Reynolds marriage. It’s enough to make me think they might have the same unnamed source.

Star’s version is less offensive to me than In Touch, but the quotes are nothing special. Scar and Ryan are fighting about everything, and they can’t even go out to eat without getting pissy with each other:

“They’re struggling to see eye-to-eye on almost everything,” an insider tells Star. “From when to start a family – he’s ready, but she’s in no rush – to her smoking and what she sees as his reckless motorcycle riding.”

“What’s making matters worse is that their busy careers are keeping them apart, so they get really out of sync… It’s gotten so bad neither of them is hurrying home just to start fighting again.”

[What began as a romantic meal on July 20]… “They started out snuggling… they left barely looking at each other.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, August 17 2009]

Now for the dirtier details. In Touch’s source has the specific complaints Scar and Ryan are lodging against each other. It seems Ryan has a “jealous streak” as well as “a bad temper and a dark side.” As for ScarJo, she “has a big mouth at times.” Yikes. This does not sound good:

After having a huge fight over the weekend of July 18, Scarlett Johansson reportedly got so angry at Ryan Reynolds that she threatened to take off her wedding ring. Ryan was so upset, he [didn’t go with her to Comic-Con].

“He saw it as a bunch of young guys wanting to stare at Scarlett and drool over her,” a source tells In Touch. “Ryan has a jealous streak, and he didn’t think that would be fun.”

Just 10 months after tying the knot, friends fear that the newlyweds are already headed for a split. “They have been fighting a lot for the past few months,” says a close pal. “They are both strong-willed and stubborn.”

The source adds, “Ryan has a bad temper and a dark side, and she has a big mouth at times.”

A rep for Scarlett says that any reports of a fight are “ridiculous” but an insider says, “They are two completely different people. They spend more time apart than together and rarely do things as a couple.”

[Since] their nuptials in September 2008, the pair have rarely been spotted together. The close pal adds that another problem is that Ryan can be controlling and Scarlett feels smothered.

“He wants to know where she is at all times and who she is with,” the close pal reveals. “She’s much more of a free spirit.”

Ryan has been nagging Scarlett to start a family, but the insider says it’s unlikely: “They’re just not in the same place.”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition, August 17 2009]

So, is any of this for real? Personally, I buy parts of it. Mainly because I’ve always thought they were an odd couple, because ScarJo doesn’t seem (to me) particularly interested in being settled down. She’s always struck me as, yes, a “free spirit” – which could be a euphemism for “a girl who likes to get laid, and doesn’t really care to remember your name.” Ryan is sort of blank for me – usually I find him bland, dull and pretty, but I could see how he could be this closeted jealous, smothering bastard. On the other hand, this is quite likely a tempest in a teapot, with the tabloids offended that ScarJo and Ryan haven’t given them any good photo-ops, like, ever. I don’t know… my guess is that the marriage won’t last more than two years. And there won’t be any babies.

Ryan Reynolds is shown on 6/26/09, Scarlett Johansson is shown on 7/31/09. Credit: WENN.com