As slurry as Jennifer Aniston may come across in interviews, she can be cunning like a fox. Plastic surgery victim Heidi Montag whined to US Weekly that she was banned from the premiere of Just Go With It, in which she has some kind of cameo featuring her tits and ass, due to the 41 year-old divorcee’s influence. From what Heidi said, Aniston pulled rank and made sure that Montag wasn’t able to walk the red carpet. Given the way that Heidi and Spencer work the media I wouldn’t be surprised if Heidi made this whole thing up for publicity after realizing she’d gained five pounds and could no longer fit into the skintight dress she picked out for the premiere. Aniston’s publicist suggested as much.

Although Heidi Montag had a cameo in the star’s comedy, Just Go With It, she claims she wasn’t allowed to walk the carpet at the flick’s NYC premiere Tuesday.

“I’m so upset,” the former reality star, 24, tells the new issue of Us Weekly (on stands now). “I was so excited! This is the first movie I’ve ever been in and I can’t walk the red carpet because Jennifer Aniston decided I was ‘too polarizing.’”

Montag, who renewed her vows with husband Spencer Pratt, 27, in November after their very public split adds that she had already designed her own dress for the event and made a deal with producers not to go to any events beforehand.

“I’ve been such a huge Jennifer Aniston fan my entire life and it’s just really upsetting that she would do this to me,” says Montag. “She should know how hard it is to make a career for yourself and to have someone like Jennifer Aniston go out of her way to make things hard for me is really disheartening.”

However a rep for Aniston, 41, claims she has no issues with the reality star. “This is absolutely false. Jennifer has nothing to do with who was or was not invited,” her rep tells Us

[From US Weekly]

If this is true, points to Aniston! Heidi said Aniston’s full name too many times though, it’s like a tell that she’s making this up. “Jennifer Aniston said I was polarizing… I’m a Jennifer Aniston fan… Jennifer Aniston went out of her way for me,” etc. She’s really saying “If I say her name enough times like Candyman I’ll magically appear in a story alongside her.” “Vowla” (as Heidi spells it) her wish came true! Let me try the magic formula – “Jennifer Aniston told Kaiser she’s not an alcoholic… Jennifer Aniston said she’s telling the truth about wanting babies sometime far off in the future… Jennifer Aniston said she still talks to Brad.” Now all I have to do is wait. It worked for Perez Hilton!

Aniston was on Good Morning America today and you can watch her interview below. She said it was really fun working with Adam Sandler and that they were dying laughing when they saw the final movie at the premiere. The clip they showed wasn’t that funny though. She also said she’s looking for a place to live in New York City.

Candids of Aniston are from today and were taken outside the GMA studios. Credit: Fame. Other photos credit: WENN.com

This is the weirdest story. Life & Style has an interview with Perez Hilton in which he discusses in detail his conversation/confrontation with Jennifer Aniston. As you may remember, when Aniston was on Ellen last week, she told a story about how she saw Perez out in public somewhere, and she went over to him and asked “Why are you so mean?” They had a conversation about bullying, I guess, or at least that was Aniston’s version of it. But according to Perez, he had some questions for Aniston too. Like, “Do you hate Angelina Jolie?” And according to Perez, Aniston had an answer.

For the first time, Jen Aniston opens up about her feelings toward Angelina Jolie–to famous gossip blogger Perez Hilton! Jen recently told Ellen DeGeneres about her August run in with Perez in an LA parking garage and now, he’s finally revealing the details of their conversation including what she now thinks of Angelina Jolie –exclusively to Life & Style.

When Perez asked Jen point-blank if she hates Angelina, “Jen said, ‘Look, that was so long ago, and we’ve moved on and we’re all adults,’” Perez tells Life & Style. And Perez believes Jen. “I believe what she has to say. I think she really has moved on.”

Jen is even in touch with ex Brad Pitt. In his conversation with Jen, Perez tells Life & Style, she reaffirmed, “I still talk to Brad and everything’s fine.” But it seems Jen is more than just fine. In fact, when he asked her about dating, she revealed that people who assume she’s lonely have it wrong.

“She told me that she dates a lot,” Perez tells the new issue of Life & Style, on newsstands now. “And just makes sure not to go anywhere public.”

[From Life & Style]

Here’s my question: this is a decent scoop, and God knows that Bermuda Triangle stories sell, so why didn’t Perez use this “interview” with Jennifer Aniston on his site? The only possible answer I can come up with is that stuff Perez said about how it was a “private” conversation between he and Aniston, and he wasn’t going to reveal anything, except that Aniston revealed it to Ellen. Whatever.

As for Aniston (allegedly) saying that she’s moved on… well… it was a yes or no question, and Aniston didn’t give a simple yes or a no. So there’s that. But sure, for this post only, and for argument’s sake, I’ll buy that Aniston has “moved on” and that they’re “all adults.” Why not? Oh wait… her People Magazine article has her drunkenly discussing her exes. Nevermind.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

For goodness sake. Jennifer Aniston scored the cover of People again. Thankfully, People had already used up their “FIVE YEARS AFTER BRAD” headline last year. For this cover, we get promises of “Dating * Babies * Exes” because… yeah. No comment. I won’t even go there. And I won’t even throw a big fat “I told you so” to all of those who deny that Aniston consistently talks about having babies in vague terms to appease her fan base. Even Aniston knows the drill at this point, telling People: “I think people honestly just want to see me as a mom and married and barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. And I just want to say, ‘Everybody, relax! It’s going to happen.’” Her fans think that about her because she’s always talked about it, as she is again.

What’s the biggest misconception out there about Jennifer Aniston?

“That I’m unhappy,” the actress tells PEOPLE in this week’s cover issue. “I’m really happy. Really!”

Embracing the truths in her life has been key to Aniston’s joy even as the rumor mill continues to churn. For starters, she says, she hasn’t dated anyone in more than a year and a half, and she isn’t adopting a baby – from Mexico or anywhere else, for that matter.

“I think people honestly just want to see me as a mom and married and barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen,” the actress says. “And I just want to say, ‘Everybody, relax! It’s going to happen.’ ”

For now, Aniston, who turns 42 on Friday, is busy promoting her new namesake fragrance, out this month, and her romantic comedy, Just Go with It with Adam Sandler, which hits theaters Friday.

“Adam and I have a sense of humor that is so in sync, we could basically just say nothing, our eyes would lock and we’d burst out into laughter,” she says. “I mean we just had a really nice sort of chemistry.”

For more of Aniston’s revealing interview – including her feelings about her famous exes and her pal Courteney Cox – pick up this week’s issue PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday.

[From People]

It would have been interesting for her to go in a different direction with that lead-in, right? How about this: “I think people honestly just want to see me as a mom and married and barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. And I just want to say, ‘Screw you, my womb is none of your goddamn business, I like my mojitos and my hookups with boy-toys and douches, but I just feel like I have to placate my fans so here you go: when I‘m 47, I’m going to adopt a Mexican baby and name her Chaquita Mojito. There. Happy?’”

Also, for those keeping score: Aniston was boozing it up for this interview. It’s right there on the cover! “Over cocktails and girl talk…” Boozehound.

People cover courtesy of CoverAwards. Additional pics by WENN.

Last night was the big premiere for Just Go With It in New York City. The temp was 24° – so of course Jennifer Aniston went strapless and sheer in Dolce & Gabbana. Too drunk to feel the cold? Well, I’ll let the photos speak for themselves. CB thinks the D&G dress is nice-but-boring, and gives Aniston points for nice boobs. I think from the waist up, the dress is fine. But with the too-long sheer skirt…. I don’t know, I just don’t think it flatters her body. She’s not tall and leggy – this dress is for a tall and leggy woman. Sometimes, she just kills me – she works so hard for that body, and she should know by now how to show it off to its maximum potential. The hair looks good, though – it looks like it always does, maybe with a little extra blowout.

Brooklyn Decker also wore D&G – do you think they discussed it beforehand? Hm. Now, I like some animal print in general, even though I think this dress might a touch too loud and too bold, especially for Brooklyn. The cut is good, though, and she styled the dress correctly.

Don’t even ask me about Nicole Kidman. I like the idea of this – Nicole in a sleek black leather suit. It should have been good. It should have been “kittenish dominatrix” which is a good look for Nicole. But Nicole ruined it with what I first thought was a NUDE scarf and what I know realize is a NUDE blouse with some kind of funky neck thing attachment. And I don’t like the blazer-cut of the jacket, at all.

And here’s a touch of Dave Matthews, for those that adore him:

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Jennifer Aniston was on her best buddy Chelsea Handler’s talkshow last night to promote her film with Adam Sandler, Just Go With It. We heard some advance details yesterday, particularly that Aniston brought out her 15 year-old dog, Norman, on stage in a little doggie suit. Aniston came across better than I expected, but she still stumbled over her words somewhat, as is typical for her. She seemed relatively sober, she cracked some ok jokes making fun of the tabloid stories about her and Chelsea, and she was really comfortable since she was with her best buddy instead of on a more formal talkshow that may have called for some liquid courage. It’s clear that she’s really tight with Chelsea from the dumb story they told about making quesadillas after they’d probably consumed a bunch of margaritas. It was one of those “you had to be there” stories that wasn’t funny at all. Chelsea also made sure to reference the fact that they were friends. Here’s some of what they said:

They joke about their tabloid stories
Chelsea: I appreciate [you coming on] because I’ve been reading in the press that you’ve been distancing yourself from me.
Aniston: Oh, that’s pretty much what any right-minded human being should be doing when they meet you, Chelse.

Jennifer hired one of Chelsea’s employees to shoot a commercial with her
Chelsea: You were very nice to hire Brad Wallach, one of my employees, in your Smart Water ads…
Jennifer: I ended up having to kick him in the balls all day because that is what they wrote. He had to wear whatdya call it, a crotch guard, because I had to kick him over and over again.
Chelsea: Brad was so excited that he was getting kicked in the balls by Jennifer Aniston.

A story about how they got drunk and made quesadillas
Chelsea: You’re a good cook. You make quesadillas and you make them with love.
Jennifer: Unlike yourself… By the time I pulled out the cheese I pulled out the tortillas, I got the pan salted up… I hear “ding ding,” she’s taken the quesadillas slapped some cheese velveeta, thrown it in the microwave, throws it up against the wall.
Chelsea: She goes “what kind of quesadilla is that?” I’m like “You don’t want my quesadilla?” then I just threw it right against the wall.

Chelsea again references their friendship
Chelsea: Let’s talk about the movie… This has nothing to do with my friendship with you. This movie’s hilariously funny. The thing I hate about you is that whenever you do a movie everyone talks about it like it’s your life. Like that character you’re playing is really you. That’s annoying because that doesn’t happen to every actress.

Jennifer: I know it doesn’t. A lot doesn’t. This one you can’t parallel this one.. no pretending wife, I’m not a pretending wife to anybody. I’m not a doctor… nor have I played one on TV, but I might have a pretend husband somewhere.

Then they talked about a scene from the movie where Jennifer and Adam Sandler were fixing a woman’s botched boob job. Jennifer said that Nicole Kidman was “so funny” and “fun” in the movie as a secretary, and added that Dave Matthews was in it and “hilarious. Come crash into me!”

It was a pretty quick interview and Aniston rolled with it. I’m still struck by how she has trouble figuring out what she’s trying to say at any given time, but she’s always been that way.

In terms of this movie, it looks like Aniston plays the same character she always does, which is why people have a hard time separating her from her roles. It does have Adam Sandler in it, so it could be a funny and successful movie despite Aniston’s involvement.

Jennifer Aniston is shown at the People’s Choice awards on 1/6/11. Credit: Fame. Chelsea Handler is shown looking shiny on 1/5/11. Credit: WENN.com

Below is a little preview video of Jennifer Aniston’s appearance on Chelsea Lately tonight – the show was pretaped days ago, and from the looks of the preview, Chelsea is still in major Aniston-ass-kissing mode. Aniston must have some kind special access to the best kind of tequila, right? Anyway, just in case you believed those “reports” that Aniston was trying to “distance” herself from Chelsea Handler – she’s not. They’re still BFFs.

If you have a tiny little Chihuahua, I understand the desire to dress your dog up. Sort of. I still think it’s extremely embarrassing for the dog, but I get it when the dog is tiny. I do not understand dressing up a dog bigger than a cat. That’s why Norman walked away – besides the overpowering booze fumes wafting off of his mom and his “Aunt” Chelsea. Norman was embarrassed. Dogs get embarrassed. It’s mean to dress them up.

In other Chelsea Handler news, she’s still boning Andre Balazs, so says Page Six:

Chelsea Handler and Andre Balazs continued their love affair in Dallas for Super Bowl weekend. The comedian and the Hungarian hotelier, who first hooked up during the Sundance Film Festival, were spotted making out at the Don Julio/1Oak Saturday night in Dallas. The couple partied together until about 2 a.m. alongside Jim Carrey, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Kid Rock and David Spade, who was spotted exiting the party with Selita Ebanks.

[From Page Six]

Chelsea took her man to Dallas for the SuperBowl? It must be love.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler were on Oprah yesterday to promote Just Go With It, which comes out next weekend. They were surprisingly cute together – Adam and Jennifer did a lot of their junket interviews together, and they have a very easy chemistry together, and you can tell they enjoy each other’s company. Apparently, they’ve been friends for 20 years, although I couldn’t really understand the story Adam told about how they first got to know each other. Something about a friend in common and matzah and Aniston coming to see Adam do stand-up? Something like that. Also: I love LOVE that Adam Sandler only refers to her as “Aniston”. For some reason, that cracks me up. Never “Jen” or “Jennifer”. Always “Aniston”.

During the course of the interview, some new information came up that I found interesting. Well, it’s new information to me. Maybe some of you already knew it. Sandler claimed that before Friends got picked up (probably around the spring of 1994), Aniston came in to meet Lorne Michaels, and she was offered a cast position on Saturday Night Live. Sandler said: “We wanted Aniston to be on the show with us. I remember being on the ninth floor where [SNL exec] Lorne Michaels’ office was, and seeing Jen come in. I was like, ‘Oh my God, there’s Aniston. Is she about to be on our show?’” Aniston then confirmed that she did get an offer, and said that she had said “no” because she believed in Friends, and thought the show was going places, although everyone thought she was making a huge mistake by turning down the SNL offer.

It was a nice little “what if?” moment – what if Aniston had joined SNL? Well, she probably would have had to get out of the contract when Friends got picked up, so it would have been the same anyway. But Aniston could have been Ana Gasteyer! Perish the thought.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

On today’s episode of Ellen, Jennifer Aniston talks about how she’s not adopting a Mexican baby. That one is a given – Aniston Baby Watch has been in effect for a decade, and no one has the heart to call it off. But Aniston also discussed something new! Perez Hilton, and how he was mean, and how he’s not anymore:

Sick of all the nasty things being blogged about her, Jennifer Aniston took matters into her own hands. Nearly literally. The former ‘Friends’ star, who features in the upcoming comedy ‘Just Go With It,’ appears on ‘The Ellen Degeneres Show’ on Thursday, and talks in part about her chance confrontation with the self-proclaimed ‘Queen of all Media,’ who developed a reputation as one of the nastiest celebrity bloggers around.

“I ran into Perez Hilton in a garage. One of those moments you just never expect to happen. I had finished dinner with a girlfriend and we were driving out and I saw this tall, long, lean person and I say, “Who is that?” And she says, “I think that’s Perez Hilton.” I said, “No. I have to say something to him. I have to.” So I pulled up and we were sort of scoping each other out as I was pulling the car up. I just rolled down the window and I was like, “Hi.” And he went, “Hi.” We stood there like two deer in headlights. And I just said, “Come here. Just talk to me for a second.” It was one of those great moments. It was a lovely meeting and I was just like, “Why are you so mean?”

Turns out, it worked. Hilton in fact went on Degeneres’ show in October to announce that he was no longer going to bully.

“Over the last two weeks I have been doing everything I can to bring awareness to the teen suicides and gay bullying,” Hilton told DeGeneres. “In doing so, a lot of people have called me a hypocrite and a bully myself and a big one… From now on I really want to be part of the solution and not part of the problem.”

So far, it’s been a promise kept, something Aniston gives him credit for.

“There’s something really great about putting a human being in front of another human being and then the reality that those words,” she said, “even if it’s for humor or effect or whatever, there’s a human being behind all of that… And he’s kept it up too which is good.”

[From Huffington Post]

I love Aniston getting all sanctimonious about bullying when she’s BFFs with Chelsea Handler, I really do. It’s so rich. Anyway, just an hour ago, Perez offered up his take on this Aniston story, saying in part, “I had not talked about meeting Jennifer Aniston out of respect for her and respect for the situation. It was actually a very powerful moment, I think for both of us. I told her the answer I would always tell myself — at the time, I viewed her as a character. I think it was very cathartic for her and for me.” So… Perez is now tight with Aniston, I guess…?

Sidenote: I love that Perez is wearing a t-shirt from his (and Aniston’s) one-time makeout partner, John Mayer. It makes my life.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Oooh, this should get people riled up! Now that I’ve convinced myself that Jennifer Aniston is drunk most of the time (I believe it because it explains so much), I can’t help but notice how she seems somewhat disoriented in some of her first promotional interviews, during her PR tour for Just Go With It. Aniston was on Conan last night, and for the first few minutes, there were some notable slurs and oddly timed awkward moments. But then everything evened out a little bit. Also – I think Aniston was doing that drunk thing of talking too loud – I do that too when I’m hammered. She really does seem to be talking louder than needed, although perhaps I just think that because I find her voice kind of annoying.

There’s an interesting bit where Conan asks her to confirm or deny various tabloid rumors. Conveniently, Aniston was just on Star Magazine with an adoption story, so that gave her something to talk about and deny – which she’s been doing in every interview thus far. Conan also asked her about the rumor that Aniston contractually mandates that the crew can’t get within 20 feet of her while she’s on set – Aniston denied that story as well, although I have to admit something: I’ve heard some version of “Aniston doesn’t want the peasants to talk to her” over and over again throughout the years.

Last thing – Aniston is appearing on Ellen today, and Ellen asks her if she has plans to adopt another dog:

She had her rep issue a denial to PEOPLE, and now Jennifer Aniston is doing it herself.

During a taping for Thursday’s The Ellen DeGeneres Show, the actress shot down rumors that she’s going to become a mother.

When DeGeneres asked, “Are you going to adopt another dog?”, Aniston replied, “I think you’re confusing that with the Mexican child I’m supposedly adopting.”

“Oh, are you going to adopt a Mexican child?” the host asks.

“No, I’m not adopting a Mexican child,” says Aniston, 41, joking that her Just Go With It costar Adam Sandler “adopted four last week and that never even got mentioned. No, I’m not adopting any children.”

As for the first question, Aniston adds, “And no doggies right now.”

[From People]

No babies, no dogs, she’s going to the SuperBowl and she’s still talking about her hair. It’s like an interview from 2004!

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Star Magazine decided to go with a Jennifer Aniston-is-adopting cover story this week, and from the taglines you might even think that it’s true. Apparently, they got some Mexican adoption official to go on the record about Jennifer’s adoption plans…? Sure. Do you like how “the adoption papers” have been “signed and sealed”? Like Aniston just filled out all of the paperwork but she doesn’t know whether or not she should actually send it in – that’s Star Magazine half-heartedly covering their asses for when no baby appears. That way their report won’t be “wrong” – it’s just that Aniston never sent in the paperwork. Probably because she was so drunk.

But yes, since Star Magazine is oh-so-confident in this report, they haven’t released anything online. So I can only go by the cover lines. Aniston is getting a Mexican baby – she would have to be, I guess, because that’s the only country she ever travels to. Also, Aniston is “using Courteney’s nanny”… because Aniston can’t go out and find her own nanny, I suppose.

And before every Aniston Super Fan comes in and starts yelling about how she doesn’t NEED a child in her life to be complete and how the tabloids are so unbelievably UN-FEMINIST for suggesting that Aniston wants a baby… well, I agree with you. She doesn’t need a baby to make her life complete, and it’s not very feminist to suggest that she does. But the problem has always been that Aniston’s history of selling that image of a woman who is only looking for a guy who would make a great father for the children that she will eventually have. That’s the image, the lie that always gets her in trouble. What if she came out and talked about how all she wanted out of life was no babies, The Neverending Mojito and a big, random dick? Would her Super Fans still embrace her?

UPDATE: Aniston’s rep (the Dread Pirate Huvane!) just issued a denial, and I want to publish the whole piece in its entirety, because it sums up perfectly The Aniston Conondrum:

She’s been dogged over the years by rumors she’s in the process of adopting a child, and once again Jennifer Aniston wants to set the record straight.

“It is completely false,” her rep tells PEOPLE of the new round of reports. “Jennifer is not adopting a baby from Mexico, nor does she have a nursery in her home and she has not hired a nanny. It is all a work of fiction.”

While it’s not happening right now, Aniston, 41, has spoken before about someday wanting to be a mother.

”I feel like that’s in my future and I’m on the verge of it in some way,” she told Entertainment Weekly in 2008, “or it’s something I long for.”

[From People]

So, she isn’t adopting, she doesn’t have any plans for a baby now or in the near future, but she’s still going to bait her fanbase with the issue in interview after interview.

Star Magazine cover courtesy of CoverAwards. Additional pics by Fame.