This is further evidence that Gisele’s email prayer chain was all for naught. Even Jessica Simpson’s massive pregnancy jugs couldn’t work in the Patriots’ favor! Damn, Jesus really doesn’t care for Tom Brady, right? Jessica was in Indianapolis for the Super Bowl, rooting on the Patriots, and she tweeted these photos. Jessica’s K-Fed (Eric Johnson) used to play for the 49ers, but Eric is from Boston, so Jessica explained her GO PATS mentality: “We were really sad the Niners aren’t here right now — Eric played for the Niners… But we’re going with the Patriots. And I’m a Cowboys fan, so I cannot root for the Giants!”

Jessica also managed to not say a word about the Patriots’ loss. After the game, she only tweeted: “Stayed up past my bedtime. Now it’s time for my big girl panties and sleeping bra!!” Sleeping bra? Poor Jessica! I wonder how much bigger her boobs have gotten. I bet they hurt like a mother.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Jessica’s Twitter.

We’ve gotten to the point in Jessica Simpson’s pregnancy where she’s just being exclusively photographed going in and out of restaurants. We’ll call it “The Eating Phase”. You might ask yourselves, “Why is The Eating Phase any different than just normal Jessica?” It’s not, really. Except that the photos have more waddling.

So these are photos of Jessica and her K-Fed waddling into some restaurant over the weekend. Look at how huge she is! I love it. She looks beautiful. I know some of you are hating on her for getting so big while she still has months to go until giving birth, but for the love of God, how else did you expect her to carry? She was never going to be one of those barely-pregnant-looking women. She was always going to carry everything in her boobs, abdomen and ass. I’m just happy to see a pregnant celebrity who actually looks like they’re indulging in their cravings. It’s refreshing.

Jessica is starting to get a little bit worried about her weight though – not enough to put down the pork chops she’s double-fisting, but still, she’s concerned! She recently tweeted: “Looking forward to getting back into Daisy Duke shape with @MADfit. I forget what having a waistline feels like!” Jessica’s Twitter is a grab-bag of revelations – she’s also referring to her unborn baby as a “her”. I do hope she has a girl – I think it would be fun for her to have a daughter. Oh, and she tweeted the photo below with the message, “Woke up looking like the lip injection fairy visited me in the night! Is this how pregnancy face begins?! Yikes!” God, I love her!

Photos courtesy of Fame.

These are some new photos of Jessica Simpson out with Eric Johnson last night. They were in LA to celebrate Papa Joe’s birthday. I still think Jessica is a really cute pregnant girl, and I like her maternity styles thus far – she looks really comfortable for the most part, and even though these are still photos, I can feel her waddle. Can’t you?

As for how Jessica is carrying and how she’s due in the Spring (!!) and how big she already is… you know this isn’t a pillow pregnancy, right? This girl is EATING. Jessica recently discussed her pregnancy cravings:

Jessica Simpson’s tastes are quite different now that she’s eating for two.

“I had a buttered Pop Tart this morning,” the pregnant 31-year-old tells Extra. “I’m eating a lot of stuff that I ate in my childhood. Kraft Mac n’ Cheese, Pop Tarts, Cap’n Crunch. Everything’s filled with sugar.”

The Fashion Star mentor adds that she isn’t afraid to “give in to my cravings. “I’m like, ‘Yeah, I can do it. We’ll worry about the rest afterwards.’”

Luckily, Simpson hasn’t experienced any morning sickness. “Everybody comes up to me and asks me, ‘How’s the nausea?’ and I’m like, ‘I don’t have any!’” the singer says, though she’s “definitely eating a lot of Tums — I have the reflux and acid going on.”

Due later this year, Simpson says she and fiance Eric Johnson, 32, still don’t know the sex of their baby. “I feel like it’s already going to be a shock. Like, ‘Whoa! I just pushed that out!’ You know?”

The couple has some names that they’re “throwing around” but Simpson says they’re keeping them “on the down low” for now.

[From Us Weekly]

LOL at “Whoa! I just pushed that out!” Jessica is so funny. Even when she’s not trying to be. As for Jessica’s sugar-filled pregnancy – well, I’m not going to judge her. If her doctors say she’s fine, good for her. As for baby names, I’m guessing Jessica will go more traditional, don’t you? She’ll go biblical for a boy, like Noah or Peter or something. Something flowery for a girl, I think.

Also – Jessica tweeted the photo below with a message about a bachelorette party. THIS is what Jess wears to bachelorette parties.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN & Jessica’s Twitter.

This story is in In Touch, so who knows if it’s true, but I wouldn’t be surprised. They’re claiming that Jessica Simpson was enrolled in Lamaze classes to prepare for the birth of her baby in April (I still can’t believe she’s only six months along) but that she dropped out and scheduled a c-section. Jessica’s sister Ashlee was in labor for 3 days, which In Touch claims heavily influenced Jessica’s decision to say “screw it” and not bother trying for a natural birth.

Jessica Simpson has dropped out of… Lamaze… She was taking the classes with her fiance, Eric Johnson, but after a few lessons, she decided to skip natural childbirth and schedule a C-section instead. Jessica’s younger sister, Ashlee, was in labor for nearly three days, and going through the Lamaze classes reminded Jessica, 31, of what Ashlee endured. “Jessica can’t wait to become a mother, but she quickly decided that giving birth the old-fashioned way just wasn’t for her. So she is planning a C-section in late April,” a friend says. “She’s already booked a $2,800 suite at Cedars-Sinai hospital in LA.”

[From In Touch, print edition, January 23, 2012]

I’ve mentioned before that I had my son in a birth center without medication, but I did it due to a fear of doctors and hospitals, not for any noble reason. My husband and I took Bradley Method classes, and I dropped out about 1/2 way through as the classes were boring and I totally thought I had it down. I was so wrong. Labor was calm and fine for me, but when I got to the pushing part I was unprepared for what a total bitch it was. I never should have ditched those classes. Maybe Jess saw some birthing videos or read some materials in class that made her realize it wasn’t for her. To each their own when it comes to such a personal matter and I don’t blame her. She didn’t go into it thinking she was too posh to push, she just realized it before it was down to the wire.

Also, people may think that a $2,800 suite is excessive, and it very well may be. The birthing center I went to cost $5,000, but that included everything and my insurance covered it. That’s just for the birth and 12 hours of convalescing. They don’t even have a doctor there, it’s all midwives. After 12 hours they kick you out, but a midwife came to visit me at home the next day to make sure that the baby and I were fine. If you have an emergency during delivery they just transfer you to the hospital next door. It’s expensive to have a baby.

Jessica is shown on 1-6-12 and 12-3-11, credit: WENN.com and KM/FameFlynet Pictures

These are some new photos of Jessica Simpson at the NBC Winter Press Tour in Pasadena on Friday. OMG. I mean, she’s so beautiful, and she’s so, so pregnant, but it’s just amazing to me that Jessica is, like, barely six months along. I don’t even think she’s hit the six-month mark yet! She keeps saying that she’s due “in the Spring”. And this is how huge she is in her SECOND trimester. I understand that every woman carries differently, but I’d just like to point out, yet again, how weird Beyonce’s pillowy pregnancy was compared to Jessica’s obvious pregnancy. Everything about Jessica looks preggo, her face, her arms, her boobs, her bump, EVERYTHING. Even her hair looks pregnant. She’s a super-cute pregnant girl, isn’t she? I like that there are still some celebrities who carry heavily.

Jessica was promoting her new NBC show, Fashion Star, which is kind of a Project Runway knock-off. Jessica plays – no joke – the Tim Gunn-esque “mentor” figure to the contestants. Like, she comes in to the workroom and tells them what to change, etc. E! News had an interview with Jessica about the project:

Cute. I mean, good God, her boobs are HUGE. They look gigantic in that video. I’m also including a photo of Jessica with her creepy father, who has gotten himself a super-creepy haircut that makes him look… ridiculous.

I’m also including photos of Nicole Richie at this event – I absolutely loathe her hair here. It does nothing for her, and it looks super-damaged and busted. I like her outfit, though. Anyway, Nicole is one of the judges on Fashion Star (like, she‘s the Nina Garcia), and despite rumors to the contrary, she and Jessica do get along. Allegedly. We’ll see.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

A month ago, the rumors began – Jessica Simpson was already looking to profit from her post-pregnancy figure. This means that Jessica knows she’s going to gain a lot of weight during her pregnancy, and she’s already preparing to make a big deal about taking the weight off. Anyway, Jessica was already in negotiations with Weight Watchers, and now Page Six is reporting that a deal has been struck – $3 million for Jessica’s Weight Watchers endorsement! Good God.

Pregnant Jessica Simpson has just inked an estimated $3 million deal with Weight Watchers, Page Six can reveal. Sources tell us the blond star has been fielding offers from a number of weight-loss programs.

One source said, “The deal is in place, and after having her baby, she’ll start with Weight Watchers to lose her baby weight.” Simpson has another reason to get in shape fast — she hopes to wed her fiancé, Eric Johnson, soon after she gives birth.

[From Page Six]

On one side, I think it’s a good idea for Jessica to get ahead of what I’m sure will be endless tabloid stories about her weight, like always. On the other side, it’s very funny to me. Earlier this year, Jessica was all about training with Tracy Anderson, she of the chipmunk-cheeked eating disorders, 800-calorie diets and three-hour daily workouts. Jessica seemed to get more toned working with Tracy, but Jessica didn’t really change her diet of “lots of liquor, desserts, fried food, etc” so the weight loss obviously didn’t stick. It will be interesting to see Jessica do Weight Watchers, and I’ll find it hilarious if and when she can’t stick to it.

Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN.

After walking their first red carpet together as a pregnant couple two nights ago, Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson spent all of yesterday getting photographed in NYC. I swear, Jessica had three costume changes. Which is fine – whatever farty wants, farty shall have. Jess and Eric still look really happy together. I actually think they look even more loved up now that Jessica is knocked up. It pleases me that Eric seems like the kind of guy who is going to stick around, and that he actually likes being around Jessica, although I still kind of wonder if Eric “tricked” (TRAPPED) Jessica into this pregnancy in lieu of getting a job. Now his full-time job is “Jessica Simpson’s fiancé/baby-daddy.” Which I’m sure pays well.

By the way, you know how Beyonce is more than eight months pregnant right now (hahahahahahaa)? Well, Jessica has said that she’s DUE IN THE SPRING. Seriously. Meaning late March, early April. Meaning she’s only five months pregnant right now? Those Simpson girls get big bumps early, don’t they?

Photos courtesy of Fame & Pacific Coast News.

Aw, these are cute photos. Jessica Simpson and her K-Fed, Eric Johnson, walked the nonexistent carpet last night for the Footwear News Achievement Awards at the Museum of Modern Art, an event which honors “top shoe designers, fashion brands, style stars, leading retailers, and industry icons.” Which includes Jessica, I’m assuming, because she designs a line of footwear which sells very well.

Anyway, Jessica wore this rather stunning red Donna Karan dress which… I LOVE. I love it on Jessica. I love the dress on its own too. I wonder if this was intended as a maternity dress or if Donna Karan refigured it for preggos. Honestly, I would love to own this dress, I like it so much. Farty looks really happy, doesn’t she? She’s “glowing” – although I’m sure Jessica would say that it’s just farty sweat. I hope she is genuinely happy. I hope her K-Fed doesn’t irritate her. I hope this is what they both want.

Oh, and thoughts about Jessica wearing heels while so, so preggo? She’s said before that she’ll probably give birth in Louboutins – her heel-wearing pregnancy is much more endearing than Beyonce’s, isn’t it?

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Jessica Simpson has a new beauty line called Beauty Mint. That’s not really important, except that promoting the line has given Jessica the opportunity to talk about sweatin’, fartin’ and glowin’. Basically, it’s just like any other day. A few weeks ago, Jessica talked to People Magazine about her pregnancy glow and how it’s really just sweat:

Pregnancy has been no inconvenience for Jessica Simpson so far. In fact, she loves it.

“Pregnancy was meant for me – it really was,” the Fashion Star mentor and Beauty Mint spokesperson tells PEOPLE. “I can’t wait to have more kids. I love being pregnant. I have such an incredible connection with myself and with my body that I’ve never had before.”

Simpson, 31, also says pregnancy has been a spiritual time, too.

“Just knowing that you’re creating a life is such a spiritual thing,” she says. “Everything is growing, but you’re making a life. It’s pretty cool.”

On the flipside, Simpson has discovered not all the perks of pregnancy are true either.

“People always say that pregnant women have a glow,” she says. “And I say it’s because you’re sweating to death. I think they just tell pregnant women they’re glowing to make them feel good about themselves, because everything makes them a little bit emotional.”

Contributing to the experience is having her fiancé Eric Johnson at her side every step of the way.

“When I’m tired, I make Eric rub me,” she says. “Eric is very, very supportive. We’re both extremely excited. He’s been to every doctor’s appointment with me. We just love it. We can’t believe we get to do this, and we get to do it together. We’re going to be a rock star family!”

[From People]

LMAO at “When I’m tired, I make Eric rub me.” That just reminded me of my dog for whatever reason. He likes to have his ears rubbed and pulled. Whenever I rub his ears, it feels so good to him that he starts rubbing his head on me like a cat. Anyway… back to Jessica and her fart-soaked sweat. In a new interview with InStyle, Jessica talked about sweating again: “People always say that when you’re pregnant, you glow, but I say it’s because of all sweating you do!”

I’m not trying to say that women shouldn’t talk about these things. I sweat – I sweat a lot when I’m working out. My whole top half is just soaked in sweat. See? It’s fine to talk about. But whenever it’s Jessica and she’s talking about sweating and farting, I just feel like she’s giving her critics more ammo. I also think that she’s probably pretty gross in person.

By the way, the photos of Jessica in sweatpants – those are from her nephew’s birthday party. Everyone else looked nice in business-casual clothes, and Aunt Jessica turned up in sweatpants and Uggs. At some point, I think I’ve begun to admire her.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

Before Jessica Simpson actually got inseminated by her K-Fed, there were rumors for months that she was possibly knocked up. Such is the cross to bear for every large-breasted girl who gains weight in her mid-section – people always think we’re pregnant when really we’ve just been eating potato chips and watching The Closer all weekend (cough). What was my point? Ah, yes: Jessica was a bit heavier before she even got pregnant. I think she still looked lovely, and what I always say about her is that people wouldn’t even notice when she gains weight if she just consistently dressed for her body type, which is a short, petite hourglass. Jessica always stuffs herself into unflattering, too-small dresses OR wears oversized, unflattering muumuus. Now that Jess is preggo, not much has changed, honestly. She’s still wearing clothes she shouldn’t, but no one is yelling about it because hey, she’s pregnant and maybe she’s just trying to be comfortable.

So Jessica is already thinking about what happens after she gives birth. She’s apparently thinking about how hard it’s going to be for her to lose the baby weight – so as a potential stop-gap for endless postpartum tabloid covers (“Jessica’s baby weight gain ends engagement!” etc), Jess is in negotiations to get a Weight Watchers endorsement deal.

Jessica Simpson won’t give birth until next spring, but she’s already planning her postbaby slimdown!

The mom-to-be, 31, is in talks with Weight Watchers for a $4 million deal to shed pregnancy pounds, Us Weekly has exclusively learned.

Simpson — engaged to ex-NFL star Eric Johnson — had initially intended to sign with the company to lose weight she had gained over the past few years.

“But then she got pregnant,” says the source. “So this was the perfect compromise.”

Under the contract, Simpson would have one year to use the point-counting program to “lose a signficant amount of weight,” says the insider.

She’s then show off her results in ads for the company — much like current spokeswoman Jennifer Hudson.

Despite the deal, Simpson isn’t letting her weight gain get her down. “I’m bigger than I’ve ever been,” she recently told Us. “But I want to show off my bump!”

[From Us Weekly]

Part of me thinks that this is a good idea, and that Jessica is the kind of person that needs outside motivation, someone looking over her shoulder to help her out. Another part of me thinks it’s gross to negotiate a contract for weight loss while you’re still pregnant – it speaks to screwed up priorities, I think. Just chill out at home, enjoy being a first-time mom, enjoy the baby and don’t get all stressed out about the weight loss, for the love of God.

Also: does anyone think this is an implicit renunciation of The Tracy Anderson Method? You know Jessica was training with Anderson for months before she got pregnant, and she hardly lost any weight (she might have been more toned, though). It’s like Jessica is acknowledging that she shouldn’t do the fancy, expensive trainer, she should do the more “middle of the road” Weight Watchers.

Photos courtesy of Fame.