Or is it just a horrible photo? Or is it all of the above, horrible photos of a pretty pregnant girl, wearing a bad dress? I just can’t with Jessica these days. My problem is not that she’s slightly heavier than she was a year ago – my problem is that she is still wearing the same clothes that she wore when she was thinner. You know, the same looks. They didn’t even look that hot on her when she was thinner – and now she just wanders around in a donut haze, looking frumpy and uncomfortable. And pregnant, in these photos.

Now, if she is pregnant, good for her, I suppose. I guess the potential baby-daddy would be Eric Johnson, the dude without a job, the grad-school dropout. Hollywood Life claimed last week that Jess was looking knocked up… but that doesn’t mean anything. She just gains weight in her midsection. God… I’m really hoping she’s not pregnant.

Anyway, Jessica was in NYC over the past few days – she was hostessing a preview of her Spring 2011 collection, which should sell very well, fashion experts say. Fame Pictures notes, “Jessica hosted a fashion presentation Tuesday night that featured real women and their curves in her preview for the Spring 2011 Jessica Simpson Collection “Show Me Your Blues” Jeanswear. Jessica will be a busy lady for the next week with Fashion week coming into New York.” That’s nice that she got “real women” not models to show her clothing. Good for her.

One last thing – a few days ago, a reader sent in a tip about Jessica and her best friend forever, hair guru Ken Paves. According to the tip, there is a rumor floating around that Ken and Jessica are on the outs as BFFs. Now, Ken and Jessica haven’t been stuck up each other’s asses for a few months, ever since Jess started hooking up with this Eric Johnson dude. Ken and Jessica haven’t been photographed together in months, so there is some evidence to back it up. One theory: Ken doesn’t care for Eric. Second theory: Ken is pissed because he thinks The Price of Beauty might have ruined his reputation. Third theory: Ken and Jess are both drama queens, and they’re just in the middle of tiff. Fourth theory: nothing is wrong. Who knows?

And for the love of God, look at the shoes!

Jessica on Sept. 8, 2010. Credit: Fame.

On Saturday, Jessica Simpson tweeted the above image with the message, “I met a wonderful man. Damn I’m lucky!” Now… I wasn’t even going to talk about this story, because I’m back to feeling sorry for Jessica. For a while, she was really pissing me off and aggravating me with her powerful stupidity, but now I’m back to my default Jessica emotion, pity. Plus, the consensus from other sites is basically: “Jessica is a f-cking idiot, and this guy is no prize.” The guy in question is this Eric Johnson dude – the one she’s been with most of the summer, the dude who dropped out of Wharton Business School to be with Jessica’s boobs. The dude that most people think is using Jessica.

Now, I’m open to the possibility that it’s true love. That she and Eric Johnson are very happy, and that Jessica isn’t bothered by the fact that she’s financially supporting Eric, and that he doesn’t seem to do ANYTHING beyond f-ck her and tell her those jeans don’t make her look fat. And maybe that’s all she wants out of a relationship. God knows, it’s not like she brings some wit or intelligence to the table. She brings her boobs and her money to the table, and that’s about it. Too harsh? She seems like she would be very easy to talk to. Because it’s like talking to a brick wall. A really dumb brick wall with a huge rack.

Header: Courtesy of J. Simpson’s Twitter.

Lately, whenever I read a Jessica Simpson interview, I want to crash my head against a wall. It’s not even that Jessica is talking sh-t or being particularly dumb – she’s not. It’s just that I’m so tired of her talking about her weight, and that’s ALL she’s been talking about for a year. Every since Tony Romo dumped her (because of her weight?), all she’s done is give interview after interview about how persecuted she felt because people noticed when she gained some weight, and she only gained 10 pounds (right), and everyone was so mean but it doesn’t matter because she loves herself just the way she is and of course she’s lost weight and of course she would love to change her body but LOVE. Etc. If she had a consistent message, maybe I would be more forgiving, I guess. But it’s schizophrenic – on one side, Jessica is saying it’s cool to have whatever body type, on the other, she’s talking about how much weight she’s lost and how much happier she is. Eh. Anyway, here’s her latest:

Jessica Simpson wishes she had smaller breasts. The ‘Dukes of Hazzard’ actress and singer – who is famous for her fluctuating weight – is happy with her current slender US size six figure but admits she wishes she could change her shape and have a bigger butt.

She said: “I have a white girl booty. I don’t have a big butt. I’d rather have a happy medium and take some off my chest and put it towards my butt so I could balance out a bit.”

The 30-year-old blonde beauty also admitted she can’t understand why her changing weight attracts so much attention.

She told Closer magazine: “People talked about my weight for an entire year. Being famous for gaining 10lbs is ridiculous! I didn’t feel as fat as everybody was making me out to be. Even the president felt he had to make a comment – although I think he was caught off guard as the picture was thrown in front of his face!”

Jessica – who is also a businesswoman with clothing, make-up and fragrance lines – also revealed her latest boyfriend, NFL star Eric Johnson, has helped boost her self-confidence.

She added: “I’m more confident than I’ve ever been in my life. I’m much more at peace with myself and whatever life brings my way.”

[From Contact Music]

Dear Jessica: You are the one who keeps talking about your weight! We would have moved on to another subject long ago (and in fact, we did, thousands of times over), but you keep giving us quotes about it! This is why you should not be managed by your father. If Jessica had a real manager, and a real team of professionals around her (as opposed to her team of sycophantic bastards who encourage these interviews, plus they style her to look horrendous), they would be telling her to not give any more quotes about this.

She is right about being top-heavy though. She usually looks like she’s about to tip over.

Jessica on April 12 & May 24, 2010. Credit: WENN.

There’s been a lot of gossip about the fact that Jessica Simpson has allegedly been supporting her new boyfriend, a former pro football player and grad school dropout named Eric Johnson. In Touch ran a story in last week’s issue (the one that is about to be replaced on the newsstand) including quotes from Johnson’s estranged wife, Keri Johnson, about how he’s broke and is likely freeloading off Jessica. She’s quoted on the record as saying “Eric is plain out of money. He was going to grad school because he didn’t know what else to do, and then he just dropped out. He lived with me until October of last year, but now I think he’s living in her house.” They also included quotes from supposed insiders countering that Eric genuinely cares for Jessica and is not sponging off her, like “He… owns several real estate properties [and] is very romantic and frequently surprises her with candlelit dinners that he has cooked.”

Whatever is going on, Jessica is elated and that’s what matters. She recently told Popsugar in a red carpet interview that she was “feeling great about myself… in a non-arrogant way… there’s a lot of good things that happened this summer that I’m sure you are aware about.” One good thing that Jessica might not be ready to share yet (as hard as it is to believe that there are things she doesn’t share) is an engagement or maybe pending-engagement. Jessica wasn’t wearing a ring on her left hand in that PopSugar interview, but Star claims she has a 3 carat emerald cut engagement ring, that she bought it herself and that she’s telling friends she’s going to marry Eric:

Jessica Simpson is telling her friends that she is going to marry Eric Johnson, even though she’s only been seeing him for a few weeks. She bought herself and [sic] engagement ring! A $50,000 three carat emerald-cut diamond! Eric is worried he’s not financially secure enough to start a future with her, but Jessica wanted to show him that she doesn’t care about that — and she has enough money for them both

[Information from Star via Jezebel]

So is this feminist, naive, or a little of both? In past coverage I’ve called it naive but a lot of you have pointed out that it is perfectly acceptable for a rich woman to support her boyfriend. We don’t bat an eye when it’s a guy supporting a woman. Still, this is Jessica Simpson we’re talking about and if she’s the one pushing an engagement she should be careful to make sure it’s not just her idea and her accelerated timetable. For her sake I hope this guy is sincere and that he’s with her for love.

We ran this photo in our last story on Jessica, and someone pointed out that Jessica is hauling her three bags herself while her boyfriend isn’t carrying one piece of luggage.

PopSugar has a new interview (video above) with Jessica Simpson talking about her birthday and herself, which is what she does best. I keep seeing Jessica Simpson brand clothing, shoes and handbags at outlets and on the designer sale sites I am addicted to like Ideeli.com. The Jessica Simpson brand is all over the place (even if it’s not my style and is kind of cheap-looking.) So while her music and laughable “acting” careers are hopelessly stalled, she’s still bringing in the dough through her fashion line. We’ve heard a lot of stories that Simpson’s new boyfriend, former football pro Eric Johnson, is happy to freeload off Jessica and that she paid his way in Italy. (He earned it though by posing for so many paparazzi photos with her.) He’s said to have moved into her house, rent free, and as Lainey Gossip reports his ex girlfriend recently told In Touch that Eric is broke.

In that long red carpet interview with PopSugar, Jessica pretty much admits that she paid for her own birthday party and a vacation for her friends. As dumb and rambling as Simpson is, I have to give her credit for being so friendly and gamely answering Molly from Popsugar’s questions at length. She seems really nice, albeit naive and prone to oversharing, as usual.

“I had a great birthday… I had most of my best friends out in Italy with me. We got to… some of the perks of the Jessica Simpson collection, we got to have a yacht for three days.

“That’s so not me, but I was like, if I’m going to be turning 30 I’m going to live it wonderfully. I deserve the best birthday ever. So I did that for myself, and I got to have all my best friends around me.”

Jessica then said she was afraid to swim off the yacht though due to sharks, which were only in her imagination.

In terms of her summer highlights, Jessica said it was “feeling great about myself… in a non-arrogant way. Like I really just am comfortable in who I am and it’s enabled me to do so many things. I can’t really talk too much about it, but there’s a lot of good things that happened this summer that I’m sure you are aware about.” Yes, we’re aware about the fact that Simpson is getting laid. It’s plastered all over the tabloids and in case we missed that she put it on Twitter too.

As for the future of The Price of Beauty, she said it is “coming out differently for another season” and added that VH1 really does “believe in my heart. They really do want people to see me inside out.” She admitted that “the whole format of the show is not completely settled” and that it’s uncertain whether Ken Paves and Cacee Cobb will return.

Simpson also talked about an upcoming album she’s working on, and said “I’m excited about this new record I’m working on. It’s going to inspire a lot of people I hope. Hopefully they’ll ring in the good cheer of holiday with me. Yet again.”

What the hell does that mean? “Ring in the good cheer of holiday?” Does she want to put out a Christmas album? She already has one, so I guess that’s what “yet again” means. I’m sure we’ll be hearing from Jessica “yet again.” This weekend she told People that she has therapy by asking her best friend a bunch of questions and requesting brutal honesty in return. She also seems to confuse the tabloids and her Twitter account with her therapist.

Various sites are already claiming that Jessica Simpson was Photoshopped to look slimmer on this Lucky Magazine September cover. I think it’s probably an interesting story, especially given that her profile excerpt includes her thoughts on body image, and obsessing on “looking like the perfect Barbie type, and that’s not always what’s beautiful.” Now, I’m not saying that this photo of Jessica wasn’t ‘Shopped. It was, totally. But it could have been WAY worse. It’s nice to see someone with serious curves on a September cover, even if it’s only for budget Lucky Mag. And I really don’t think they ‘Shopped her body that much – the most glaring work I see is on her neck. Jessica doesn’t have this long, slender neck in real life, so they did some work there. Here’s the excerpt from the mag:

Jessica Simpson has undergone a noteworthy personal style evolution, inspired, she says, by coming to terms with some serious body issues over the course of the last year. She stopped fighting her hourglass silhouette, for instance, after realizing that “we all obsess over looking like the perfect Barbie type, and that’s not always what’s beautiful. It’s about making peace with yourself.”

This sea change came out of her globe-spanning journey for her VH1 show, The Price of Beauty—a trip that also provided the tools to diversify her wardrobe. “I encountered such vibrant colors,” says Simpson, recalling shopping excursions that yielded ethnic accessories way out of her casual-pretty comfort zone: ornate Indian bangles, leather bags from North Africa. “Morocco was a huge influence on me when it comes to jewelry and fashion,” she says. “You can’t help but want to buy caftans when you’re there!”

[From Lucky Magazine]

I agree, it is about “making peace with yourself”. I don’t know about you ladies, but I hit the wall at some point in mid-twenties, and I stopped giving a sh-t if I fit into my goal size. I started taking better care of myself, eating better and drinking more water, and beyond that, I just stopped caring and made peace with my curvy body type (which is a lot like Jessica’s, only my ass is bigger).

Okay, now that I’ve defended her, I have to hate on Lucky Mag for this terrible ‘Shop job on this one photo – this is not Jessica’s real body, at all. I really think they just put Jess’s head on another model’s body!

Lucky cover courtesy of HuffPo.

While there is no official confirmation yet on the new panel of American Idol judges, rumor has it that Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler will join a three judge panel to also include longtime yes-man Randy “here’s the thing” Jackson. Both Simon Cowell and Ellen Degeneres have left, with Simon’s departure in the works for some time and Ellen issuing a statement that she was leaving because the show was not the “right fit” for her and adding that she had a hard time hurting the contestants’ feelings. Tyler has confirmed that he’s in talks with Idol, and called talks a “work in progress.” Jackson has said that the panel is still up in the air for next season, but that Ryan Seacrest will remain as host and he would welcome working with Jennifer Lopez.

We’ve heard plenty of stories about other celebrities and musicians considered for Idol. Popeater has some insider information on the judges that either passed up the chance or were unsuccessful in talks. Musicians Barry Manilow and Elton John are reported to have turned down Idol due to busy schedules and a lack of interest. Idol producers then tried to woo musicians whose careers were faltering. Lopez and Jessica Simpson were in talks, but Simpson’s dad is said to have ruined it for her by being too demanding.

“J.Lo was definitely not the first choice,” an ‘Idol’ insider tells me. “In fact, she wasn’t even the second or third choice.”

My source tells me that before they approached Lopez, producers first asked Elton John and Barry Manilow to join the hit — but starting to struggle — show. Both are undeniably great singer-songwriters who have mentored contestants in prior seasons, so it wouldn’t have been a stretch.

Alas, neither Elton nor Barry wanted to start a whole new career as a TV judge.

“It became clear that neither performer was ready to stop doing what they did best, writing and performing,” the ‘Idol’ insider says. “Plus, they are international legends. They certainly don’t want their legacy to be [as] the guy that replaced Simon Cowell on ‘Idol.’”

Once producers realized it was going to be impossible to get an artist who was still selling millions of concert tickets and CDs to join the show, they started to look at celebrities whose careers were basically stuck in neutral. They settled on artists who needed the exposure of a national TV show as much as the troubled show needed them. That’s when they turned to Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Lopez.

“Let’s face facts,” one insider tells me. “Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Lopez’s careers are in a slump. They are still big names, but haven’t sold out solo shows or had hit CDs in a long time. I think we can all agree that both ladies’ movie careers are dead and the offers are not pouring in.”

The job could have been Jessica’s, but a little thing got in the way: Joe Simpson.

“This was definitely Jessica’s to lose and that’s exactly what her dad-manager did. Once it became clear it was going to be impossible to negotiate a deal with papa Joe, J.Lo was snapped up. Convinced being on the show would relaunch her performing career, she accepted the new job right away.”

Be careful what you wish for Jennifer: Paula thought ‘Idol’ would send her back to the top of the charts too.

[From Popeater]

Poor Jessica, her dad only knows how to pimp out his daughter’s personal life and has no clue how to manage her career. Remember when she was a moderately popular pop singer who tried to branch out into films? That seems like so long ago now.

In contrast, Popeater has a related earlier story about how Lopez’s manager, Benny Medina, pitched her so well to Idol that they were convinced they needed her despite her sagging career. Idol was down 20% in the ratings this year and was sometimes bested by Dancing with The Stars. They may as well follow the same model and hire has-beens and would-bes to fill the panel. Maybe they should have a rotating panel that doesn’t rely too heavily on any single judge to carry it. Without snarky Simon it won’t be the same, and it’s not like Randy did much more than agree with whatever Simon said. Randy should have been the first one to go.

Here’s Jessica hanging all over her new boyfriend, Eric what’s-his-name, while out in NY on 7/27/10. Yeah, that’s not going to last. Credit: David Krieger / bauergriffinonline.com. J. Lo is shown on 6/15/10. Credit: L. Gallo/WENN.com

Yesterday, Jessica Simpson posted the above photo on her Twitter page with the tweet, “Romance 101..getting kissed by my Yalie…me not lookin’ so smart…:) but YUM!” Yes, that’s her “Yalie” Eric Johnson. Otherwise known as Jessica’s new (PR) boyfriend. Also known as the dude who dropped out of the Wharton program just so he could stay in LA with Jessica’s Sexual Napalm, and the dude Jessica is probably already financially supporting. I didn’t realize he was a Yale graduate, but there it is:

Jessica Simpson isn’t afraid to show the world her love for new beau Eric Johnson. She posted a shot of her smooching her latest squeeze (a Yale graduate) on her Twitter page.

“Romance 101..getting kissed by my Yalie…me not lookin’ so smart…:)” she wrote. “but YUM!”

The new Us Weekly reports Johnson, 30, has pulled out of the two-year business program at the University of Pennsylvania’s prestigious Wharton school to remain in L.A. with the 30-year-old singer.

Even though they’ve only been together eight weeks, a source tells Us: “He doesn’t want to move to Philadelphia and leave her so soon after they got together.”

[From Us Weekly]

I should know by now that even though someone graduates from a good school, doesn’t mean that they actually learned anything, or that they’re actually intelligent. So, with that in mind, what’s the verdict on Jessica and her “Yalie”? Are the Wiffenpoofs going to gang up on Eric and kick his ass? Is this all some horrible Skull & Bones plot involving massive boobs and Papa Joe? What does it all mean?!?

Earlier this month, we saw paparazzi photos of Jessica Simpson making out in Capri, Italy with her still married but legally separated new boyfriend, former 49ers tight end Eric Johnson. It was suspicious considering that the two had been dating just over a month, were more than happy to pose for photographers and more than likely tipped them off, considering their location.

This month’s Star Magazine outlines Johnson’s probable motivations for hooking up with Jessica “I fart in bed and never brush my teeth” Simpson. There’s the fame aspect and the urge to find an eager woman to control aspect, as evidenced by the fact that Johnson (allegedly) put Simpson on that cleansing diet she was tweeting about. Now money is coming into the picture too. In that Johnson, a free agent and unemployed former NFL star, needs some and is staying with Jessica rent free, letting Simpson pay for everything and buy him clothes. Could Jessica Simpson be so dumb? I guess we already know the answer to that.

Here’s part of Star’s report, which is full of so many details that it sounds pretty legit. (It’s always hard to tell with Star, although they’ve been hitting the mark much more lately):

One insider tells Star. “She’s been paying for everything in their relationship, and it doesn’t seem like Eric intends to stop that anytime soon.”

In just two short months together, Jessica has already done countless favors for Eric and splashed out tons of cash on him. And that suits him just fine. The still-married former NFL tight end hasn’t held down a steady gig since he was dropped by the New Orleans Saints in 2008 – the 30-year-old has even admitted that he isn’t cut out for a tough job. “I saw how many hours my mom worked and didn’t want to get caught in that cycle,” he has said about his mother, Mary Jo, a Boston-based attorney.

Now Eric’s even weasled his way into crashing rent-free at Jessica’s Beverly Hills mansion! According to a divorce court filing, he once owned a home with his wife, Keri, in Richmond City, CA, that had to be sold, leaving Eric without a permanent place to live. “He isn’t making money, and he’ll lose half of what he does have when his divorce is final,” dishes the insider. “He’s pinching pennies wherever he can.”

But he doesn’t mind if Jessica spends big bucks! To celebrate her birthday, Eric joined Jessica on a luxury trip to Italy, where she treated him to the good life, including staying at a $3,000-a-night suit at the Hotel Hassler in Rome, lounging on the Mediterranean aboard her $5,000-a-day chartered yacht. Nafisa, and eating and drinking at only the finest restaurants…

Once back in L.A., Eric’s money train just kept chugging along. On July 15, Jessica made a pricey pit stop in the men’s department of Bloomingdale’s, where she stocked up on Khakis and other clothing for Eric. She then hit Foot Locker and snapped up men’s sneakers.

[From Star Magazine, print edition, August 2, 2010]

Is it sexist to report it this way? Like if this was George Clooney outfitting his latest cocktail waitress/aspiring actress and paying for everything no one would say that he was an idiot getting used, because it’s traditional for men to pay and Clooney uses women in his way too. I don’t fully believe this, but I’ll play devil’s advocate here and say that Jessica is using this guy Eric just as much as he’s using her for money. She arranged those makeout pictures to give the tabloids the impression that she has a loving boyfriend on her 30th birthday. That’s using the guy even if he was a willing participant. If he’s game I think she’ll marry him and try to attain another superficially “happy” marriage if possible, but that doesn’t mean she’s still not using him. Is she into him as a person or is she just looking for some kind of stability and a family life? It’s like men are a means to an end for her and she’ll do whatever it takes.

Photos are from July 11 & 14, 2010. Credit: Bauergriffinonline.

Jessica Simpson has found her first wrinkle and she wants us all to know about it. The 30 year-old singer and reality star tweeted “It is official- I’m 30 and found a wrinkle. Damnit!!” My heart bleeds for her and her single wrinkle. What’s next for Simpson, a little fillers and botox to even it all out? Is she going to sport cat-eyes and puffy cheeks like Kim Kardashian?

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jessica Simpson should get together and swap stories about how to love yourself so you’ll attract a better “caliber” of man. Those two would make a great pair. They could do an “empowering” reality show about improving self esteem through fad diets and extreme beauty rituals while telling us that we should be happy the way we are – so that men will like us better.

Jessica is pretty much already doing that. VH1 confirmed earlier this month that they’ll still be working with her despite the colossal failure of her beauty travelogue show, The Price of Beauty. The show will no longer focus on Simpson and her buddies traveling around the world to mock other cultures. It will instead involve them giving women makeovers. That’s so empowering! That way, the lucky makeover recipients can land boyfriends and eventually husbands to show the world how happy and fulfilled they are.

Photo below is of Jessica and Eric in Rome on July 14, 2010. Credit: Bauer-Griffin. Header image is of Jessica on 6/22/10. Credit: CWNY/Fame Pictures