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May 25
'10
Victoria Beckham & Eva Longoria are orange, Jessica Simpson is a sausage

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Honestly, seeing photos of Victoria Beckham looking bright orange is nothing new. She often is some unfortunate shade of orange, although she was trying to tone it down the last few months in an attempt to get that Vogue cover, which never happens. Or maybe she just realized the “bright orange, fake-boobed bobblehead” look isn’t as popular in America. Who knows? Anyway, Posh went back to spray tan for last night’s hostessing duties. The event was something for LG phones, etc. Posh was cohosting with Eva Longoria – who was also bright orange. Now, as much as think Eva is a boring poseur, she usually doesn’t have this kind of tragic, orange appearance on red carpets. I wonder if she went with Posh for a spray tans and some girl talk? Oh, and Eva’s dress sucks too.

Speaking of things that suck, Jessica Simpson and Ashlee Simpson were at the event.

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Call me crazy, but I think Jess is attempting to wear a Victoria Beckham dress. I guess she doesn’t know that Posh only makes clothes for size zeros. She should have figured it out when she was packing herself into this dress like a stuffed sausage, though. And look at how the top half of her dress is blocked – it’s like her boobs are stuffed into a frame and mounted on wall (probably not the strangest place her boobs have been mounted). I don’t get it, Jess. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what kinds of styles would look good on her body, yet she constantly wears sh-t. Oh, Ashlee looks emaciated too. Whatever.

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Photos from the LG event in LA on May 24, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Posted in Eva Longoria, Fashion, Jessica Simpson, Victoria Beckham

Written by Kaiser         50 Comments »
May 18
'10
Jessica Simpson’s hilarious, budget ad for her perfume, “Fancy Nights”

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Oh. Dear. God. This is the print ad for Jessica Simpson’s new fragrance called… wait for it… “Fancy Nights”. Oh. Jesus. Fancy Nights?!? Are you for real, Jessica? Who named your perfume, a team of monkeys and 12-year-olds? And who approved this cartoon-looking ad? It looks like the kind of cheesy image made to appeal to a tween Twihard, doesn’t it? Like a sparkly vampire is about to walk down those stairs and whisper “I feel fancy!” CoverAwards summarizes: “It’s a pretty chintzy name for a pretty chintzy-looking advertising. This looks like the cover of a bargain bin romance book.” And for the obvious joke: Jessica needs a Fancy Nights perfume because in reality, she only has farty nights.

According to People Magazine, this is the third perfume from Jessica’s “Fancy” series – she also has a perfume called “Fancy Love” (which had a much better ad). Jessica told People that Fancy Nights isa deeper, richer scent–more provocative! A fragrance can lead you deeper into a mood. Fancy Nights gives me the chance to express a more romantic side of my personality.” Apparently it is a “spicy scent” (will not make a fart joke) with notes of bergamot, patchouli, rose, jasmine and papyrus. Sounds like a very heavy scent.

Speaking of fanciness and farting, Radar has an “exclusive” about just what is really going on with Jessica and Jeremy Renner. It’s pretty much what we all suspected – she and Jeremy were just doing it all “for the publicity”. A source tells Radar: “Jeremy has actually been dating a New York-based blonde who isn’t Jessica on and off for the past few months. She asked Jeremy when the story about him and Jessica came out and he said they were just friends and that it was just for publicity.” Hm… sounds like the source is the “New York-based blonde” doesn’t it? I didn’t really think anything was going on between Jeremy and Jess, but now I’m wondering…

By the way, I keep using these photos of Jessica so that she will LEARN. Get yourself new hair and makeup people, Jess. There’s no reason for you to step out looking like this.

Jessica Simpson Supports Smiles

Operation Smile Annual Gala - 2010

Jessica Simpson ad, courtesy of CoverAwards.

Posted in Jeremy Renner, Jessica Simpson, Perfume

Written by Kaiser         42 Comments »
May 13
'10
Jeremy Piven wants to experience Jessica Simpson’s napalm
Jeremy Piven Walks Down Las Vegas Blvd After The Mayweather Vs Mosley Fight On May 1, 2010 In Las Vegas, NV

This story is all kinds of wrong. So, yesterday Jessica Simpson was on the set of Entourage, filming a small cameo for an upcoming episode. Unfortunately, the photos are exclusives that we don’t have access too – but you can see some here at PopSugar. Her scene was apparently with Jeremy “The Piv” Piven. Now… we all know The Piv’s type. He likes them young. He likes jailbait. He doesn’t really care about anything beyond “young and willing”. So I wouldn’t have thought Jessica would be his type… but apparently she was. Sources say that The Piv was ogling Jess hard, and he “wasn’t being sly about it”. However, the source who spoke to Us Weekly is a massive bitch, because he/she included this aside: “He flirts with ugly girls, so you can imagine how crazy for Jessica Simpson he was.” I don’t know who that maligns more, Jess or The Piv:

Jeremy Piven found a way to pass time on the Beverly Hills set of Entourage Tuesday as Jessica Simpson filmed her buzzed-about cameo.

“In between takes, he was staring at Jessica’s ass in the most obvious of ways,” a witness tells UsMagazine.com. “He wasn’t being sly about it and would just watch her every move. He flirts with ugly girls, so you can imagine how crazy for Jessica Simpson he was. She almost seemed like she couldn’t wait to change into her jeans, but she was a good sport about it and kind of laughed it off.”

Lucky for Simpson (whose acting has been panned in the past): Her scene “didn’t require any acting,” says the source. (The singer, 29, plays herself.)

“It was simple – she answers the front door, and it’s Jeremy Piven,” the source tells Us. “She had on a very tight skirt and was leaning against the door in a sexy way. They did the scene a few times and didn’t change much. The whole production is very laid back and they always have a good time. Jessica seemed to be having a ball and was not taking herself too seriously.”

Her father Joe also was on set, a source tells Us, chatting up the producers. “They were buttering each other up,” says the witness. “At the end of the scene, they all took pictures together for the set photographer and then Jessica went back to her trailer with her assistants. She brought a bunch of clothes in her Louis Vuitton luggage, loaded everything back up into her assistant’s car and left.”

The shoot went well. After filming, Simpson Twittered: “I have the utmost respect for the entire cast and crew of Entourage! Thank you for making the past 2 days memorable :)

[From Us Weekly]

What’s weird is that The Piv and Jessica might actually make an interesting couple, right? She acts like the teenage girls he usually dates, and he’s enough of an established actor that they could become some kind of B-list power couple. I do wonder why The Piv was staring at Jessica’s ass, though. Her ass isn’t her best feature. Hint: “You can’t cover those suckers up!” Chesty McNapalm strikes again!

Jessica Simpson Supports Smiles

Jeremy Piven Is Looking A Bit Bleary Eyed While Out In Hollywood!

Operation Smile Annual Gala - 2010

Posted in Jeremy Piven, Jessica Simpson

Written by Kaiser         31 Comments »
May 7
'10
Tabloids compile list of Jessica Simpson’s poor hygiene habits

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I know this isn’t new in that all of these quotes from Jessica Simpson have been out there for a while. It’s interesting, though, that both US Weekly and Star Magazine have features this week about Jessica Simpson’s poor hygiene. (They also both have “Twitter Wars” sections on the latest minor celebrity feuds over the social networking service. Great gossiping minds, I guess.) There are new photos of Jessica, ironically at an Operation Smile event, that I wanted to publish, so I thought we may as well repeat these stories. They stem from Jessica’s latest comments about how she only brushes her teeth three times a week. Taken along with other things she’s said, about how she chews Nicorette gum (but never smoked) and will only wash her hair when it smells, she sounds like a mess of her own making. Jess usually looks great though, so it seems like her problem is her loud mouth, not the fact that she’s particularly lax about grooming.

Here are Star and US’ take:

Star: Jessica’s Big Dirty Mouth
You never know what she’ll say next!
“I don’t brush [my teeth] every day… maybe three times I week… I’ll use a shirt or something. I know it’s gross, but I always have fresh breath.”

“I am addicted to Nicorette gum… it’s like a party in my mouth… I just spit it out and put it on my water bottle before I came [on The Tonight Show].”

“I’ve broken [my nose] a few times, just walking into the doors… going out to grab another brewski.”

US Weekly: Jessica’s Hygiene Hijinks
[Includes the teeth brushing comments and Nicorette gum saving that Star also reported. New items are below]
Keeps Hair Dirty
“If I’m just in a hang-out mood, I won’t even wash it,” the singer said of her blonde mane. “I’ll wait until it smells.”

Farts in bed
“To be my man, you have to put up with a lot,” Simpson confessed. “I toot under the sheets.” Another habit? “I can belch the A.B.C’s.”

[Print editions of Star and US, May 17, 2010]

I think Jessica calls it “breaking her nose” when she just bruises or smashes it, but now that the comment is out there it can serve as a good excuse for any future plastic surgery.

Many of you mentioned Jessica’s infrequent hair washing in our last post on this issue, in which we quoted her dentist saying that he was surprised there are people who don’t brush their teeth every day. The consensus was that it’s ok to wash your hair every other day, or even every few days once your hair gets used to it and produces less oil. This is especially the case for women who have hair extensions like Jessica. Teeth brushing is nothing like that and needs to be practiced twice a day or more. If you also consider how Jessica has discussed her farting habits (and how she openly talked about going number two while she was on Newlyweds, etc.) she just seems to have no filter. It’s like she thinks it’s ok to tell the press the stuff she should only be admitting to her closest friends. Is that what having a reality show from a young age does to you and/or is this girl just exceptionally dim? Not only does she do stupid things, she’ll compound that by telling you all about it.

Here’s Jessica at the Operation Smile event last night with Ken Paves. I don’t love her dress, but it’s not bad and the cut isn’t unflattering. The giant puff bow on the side is kind of obnoxious, but this is Jessica so it could be worse.

Kaiser likes Jessica’s dress, and writes “I was looking at them and I actually think the dress kind of works. It makes her look pretty thin – I’m starting to wonder if she just lost some weight really fast. The hair is bad though. WTF is Paves thinking?” I think her makeup is overdone too. Has Jessica ever looked exceptionally well styled on the red carpet?

Photo credit: L. Gallo/WENN.com

Posted in Jessica Simpson, Photos

Written by Celebitchy         31 Comments »
May 6
'10
Jessica Simpson’s dentist is shocked that there are people who don’t brush daily
Jessica Simpson is all smiles as she makes her way through the JFK Airport after arriving in New York

Kaiser covered a Jessica Simpson story earlier today, but I just couldn’t resist this one. People Magazine asked Jessica’s dentist to comment on the fact that she’s admitted that she doesn’t brush her teeth every day. This is something Jessica has discussed in two separate interviews. The first interview honestly sounded like a joke to me, and I thought that she was either messing with us or had just forgotten to pack her toothbrush on a recent trip. Then Jessica confirmed in a follow up interview that she only brushes her teeth three times a week, explaining that she “needs a little coating” on them so that her lips don’t slide! Instead of brushing, she’ll “use a shirt or something” to wipe her teeth along with some mouthwash for fresh breath. She also claims to floss, but I’m not really buying that.

Jessica’s dentist was pretty amazed that she doesn’t brush every day, and told People that he was surprised to hear that there are people who don’t practice regular dental hygiene:

Last week, while appearing on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, the singer revealed that she brushes her teeth only about three times a week.

“My teeth are so white and I don’t like them to feel too slippery, but I do use Listerine and I do floss everyday,” she told DeGeneres. “But I don’t brush them everyday. I’ll use a shirt or something … I know it’s gross, but I always have fresh breath.”

Simpson’s dentist, Dr. Bill Dorfman, who appeared on an episode of Simpson’s previous reality show Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica and maintains a practice in Los Angeles, says he’s surprised and concerned about her brushing habits.

“I was kind of shocked. I assumed everybody brushed their teeth all the time,” he tells PEOPLE. “People pay us a lot of money for that slippery feeling. It’s kind of the best part.”

But this wasn’t the first time Simpson has talked about her lack of brushing. In March, the singer told a group of people a similar story at the “iheartradio presents an Evening with Jessica Simpson” in New York.

“Find me when I’m 60 and [my teeth] will probably be all out, but I literally have these strong powerful teeth that don’t need to be brushed,” Simpson told the audience.

Dorfman says people should be brushing and flossing after every meal, or it can cause anything from inflamed gums to heart disease.

“It’s great that she’s flossing all the time, but you have to brush too,” Dorfman recommends. “What goes on in your mouth really affects your whole body.”

[From People]

What the hell is Jessica talking about, she has “strong, powerful teeth?” Teeth are bones for chewing food, they’re powerful by design. Cavities and plaque can destroy them, though, and her dentist is right that she needs to also be concerned about her health. Gingivitis and periodontal disease can contribute to all sorts of health problems, and dental plaque has been tied to increased risk of heart attack. It’s irresponsible not to brush your teeth twice a day, and it’s even worse to announce it as if your mouth is an exception to the rule. Even little kids know they’re supposed to brush in the morning and night, and after every meal if they can. Not Jessica, though, she has “powerful” teeth. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt but in this case there’s little doubt that this is a very stupid thing to say and do. I love that People got a quote from her dentist, and that he was all “there are people who don’t brush?” Do you think Jessica will actually brush her teeth at least once a day now, or will she trade that comfortable teeth coating for uncomfortable dentures?

Jessica Simpson poses for photographs on the red carpet during the Good Houskeeping Shine On event

Jessica Simpson is all smiles as she makes her way through the JFK Airport after arriving in New York

Posted in Hygiene, Jessica Simpson

Written by Celebitchy         34 Comments »
May 6
'10
Jessica Simpson has uncomfortable run-ins with Tony Romo & Jeremy Renner
TIME/CNN/People/Fortune 2010 White House Correspondents' Dinner Pre-Party

Back during the awards season, there were a couple of rumors floating around about Jessica Simpson and Oscar nominee Jeremy Renner. They ran into each other at a couple of parties, and some even claimed that he got Jess’s digits, although he later denied that specifically. Nothing really seemed to come out of it, other than a few people at the National Enquirer wondering aloud if Jeremy was/is gay. I’m not sure how “denying getting Jessica’s digits” = gay, but whatever. Anyway, Us Weekly is trying to start the Renner-Simpson rumor anew! They report (via Jezebel) this week that “Jessica Simpson and Jeremy Renner were seen entering the St. Regis hotel in D.C. at 2:35 am, ‘30 seconds apart.’ Jessica greeted and took pictures with fans while Jeremy waited just out of sight. Then they took an elevator upstairs.” Eh. NOW I think he’s gay.

Dior & Vogue Celebrate The Charlize Theron Africa Outreach Project

In any case, that possible hookup with Jeremy didn’t stop Jessica from having an extremely awkward run-in with her ex, Tony Romo and his new girlfriend while all three of them were in Washington. Us Weekly reports that the three Texans chatted “for about five minutes” at a party at the French Embassy. Jessica sounds like she handled herself well, considering:

Awkward! Jessica Simpson encountered her ex Tony Romo — and his current girlfriend, Candice Crawford — at Saturday’s Bloomberg/Vanity Fair afterparty for the White House Association dinner.

During the fete, held at the French Ambassador’s residence in Washington, D.C., Simpson, Romo and Crawford chatted for about five minutes on the balcony.

A witness tells UsMagazine.com that the trio’s chat was “tense.”

Adds another observer: “You could tell they were uncomfortable.”

“It wasn’t awkward,” another source counters. “Candice didn’t say much. Jessica and Tony are still friends and talk. It was the first time Jessica met Candice.”

After over a year-and-a-half of dating, Dallas Cowboys player Romo, 30, dumped Simpson last July on the eve of her 29th birthday. He and Simpson-lookalike Crawford — Chace Crawford’s 23-year-old little sis — began dating last fall.

But Simpson may have a new love in her life. Earlier in the evening, the Price of Beauty star told Us, “I have some [romantic] situations that I am feeling out.”

Indeed: the new Us Weekly reports of Simpson’s on-the-downlow romance with The Hurt Locker’s Jeremy Renner. Find out about their top-secret tryst in D.C. in the new issue, on newsstands today!

[From Us Weekly]

Well, if it’s the first time she’s met Candice, I could see how it could be awkward. I mean, that’s never comfortable, and Tony did dump Jessica on her birthday and then took up with Candice two seconds later. Hopefully, Jess turned to Candice at one point and told her, “He’ll screw around on you too, just watch.” Oh, and Candice doesn’t really look like Jessica either. Sure, they’re both toothy blondes, but Candice doesn’t seem as over-the-top, you know? Jessica has got the big hair, the big boobs, the low-cut tops. Candice seems a bit classier.

Here’s Candice, Tony and Candice’s brother Chace. Also, an old-school photo of Jessica and Tony:

PEOPLE/TIME Party on The Eve of The White House Correspondents' Dinner

Tony Romo guides girlfriend Jessica Simpson through a flash of photographers as the entire Simpson clan enjoy an Easter treat at Beso

PEOPLE/TIME Party on The Eve of The White House Correspondents' Dinner

Posted in Candice Crawford, Jeremy Renner, Jessica Simpson, Tony Romo

Written by Kaiser         19 Comments »
May 3
'10
Jessica Simpson wants to be Michelle Obama

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I was going to make a Big Bird joke about the yellow cocktail dress that Jessica wore to the big Correspondents’ dinner in Washington on Saturday, but I can’t. She actually looks really good, in my opinion. The bright yellow kind of works on her. Maybe it’s the blonde hair? Yellow does tend to work better on blondes, in my opinion. Anyway, for some reason Jessica was invited to Washington’s biggest night, and she even told People Magazine about her girl-crush on the First Lady. Jessica actually sounds really sweet here:

Jessica Simpson is a singer, actress and reality star, but now she has a new goal: She wants to be Michelle Obama.

“I really do,” Simpson told PEOPLE before the White House Correspondents’ dinner in Washington, D.C., Saturday. “She’s such an incredible woman, and she’s with such a powerful man.”

What does Simpson admire most about the First Lady? “Everything she does she exudes confidence,” says the singer. “I’m really just here to celebrate her.”

Simpson was just one among many celebrities who came out for the annual event and mingled at the packed pre-party. Other starts included Sex and the City star Kristin Davis, Michael Douglas and Bradley Cooper.

“It’s sort of like Oscar night,” mused comedian Bill Maher, who joked: “It’s great to mingle with America’s real intellectual heavyweights. I saw the Jonas Brothers, Justin Bieber, Jessica Simpson, Ryan Seacrest – I can’t wait to talk politics.”

Despite all the bold-faced names, the most mobbed star of the evening was teen heartthrob Bieber. “Look at that guy: He’s got more secret service than [President] Obama,” quipped Entourage’s Adrian Grenier.

[From People]

It’s interesting that Jessica had such respect for Michelle Obama, because to my knowledge, the Simpson family is very conservative. I believe Jessica even “endorsed” Pres. Bush, or tried to. And Papa Joe is all about courting the conservative Christians for his daughter’s career, or at least he used to be like that. But Jess is growing up and getting her own ideas about politics, and it’s nice that Michelle Obama is a role model to someone like Jessica, as well as a role model for young women and girls all around the world.

Here are some more photos of Jessica, posing with Quinton Aaron (from The Blind Side) and Gaby Sidibe. I’ve also thrown in a few photos of the First Lady, who looked really pretty, I think:

TIME/CNN/People/Fortune 2010 White House Correspondents' Dinner Pre-Party

TIME/CNN/People/Fortune 2010 White House Correspondents' Dinner Pre-Party

U.S. President Obama attends the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner

U.S. President Obama attends the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner

Header photo: Jessica Simpson in Washington on May 1, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Posted in Fashion, Jessica Simpson, Michelle Obama

Written by Kaiser         18 Comments »
Apr 28
'10
Jessica Simpson is gross, brushes her teeth “three times a week”
Jessica Simpson And BFF Ken Paves Take On NYC!

Jessica Simpson is still doing the publicity rounds for The Price of Beauty, and she appeared on Leno last night, and will appear in a pretaped episode of Ellen today. Jessica was of course talking about her gross hygiene habits, again. Previously, Jessica admitted that she only brushes her teeth “every now and again” and that she just uses Listerine. Ellen got Jessica to confirm this, and Ellen got a firm number on how many times Jessica brushes her teeth in a given week: three. F-cking disgusting.

Jessica Simpson: so fresh and so clean? Not so much.

The singer, 29, admits in an episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show to air Wednesday that she only brushes her teeth “maybe three times a week.” Why?

“Because my teeth are so white and I don’t like them to feel too slippery but I do use Listerine and I do floss everyday,” she explains. “But I don’t brush them every day.”

“My lips just slide all over the place….I can’t catch up with my mouth,” she continues. “I need a little coating….”

Instead, she’ll “use a shirt or something” to scrub her chompers clean.

“I know it’s gross but I always have fresh breath,” she swears. “It’s really weird but I have great breath.”

Maybe that explains why the Vh1 reality star is still single. Although she says she’s actively looking for her next guy on the down low.

“I mingle around very privately,” she tells DeGeneres. “I have ways in and out of my house and certain places that I go that are private just so I can have a normal life. I’m still out there and bring normal.”

After very public splits with John Mayer and Tony Romo, she still says it “doesn’t really matter” if her next guy is famous or not.

Her only requirements: “They definitely have to understand my life and what I put up with and what I deal with. Being scrutinized publicly… [that] can definitely make or break a relationship and you have to have that strong foundation… so I have to have somebody that understands that kind of lifestyle.”

[From Us Weekly]

To make matters worse, Jessica told Leno last night that she’s obsessed with Nicorette gum, even though she’s never been a smoker. She said: “The first time I ever chewed a piece of Nicorette gum one of my close friends’ mother gave it to me. I think she thought she was giving me a piece of regular gum. I was chewing it and it was like a party in my mouth. It was like fireworks and ‘Oh my god, I’m talking a million miles per hour and I love this gum and what kind of gum is this? I have to have this gum.’” Yeah, I’m sure her breath smells great, what with all of Nicorette and cheese doodles and John Mayer spunk. Too much? She started it.

Jessica Simpson poses for photographs on the red carpet during the Good Houskeeping Shine On event

Jessica Simpson, sporting an oversized denim shirt over her butterfly dress, leaves her hotel in NYC looking all smiles

Vh1 Upfront 2010

Posted in Disgusting, Gross, Jessica Simpson

Written by Kaiser         34 Comments »
Apr 23
'10
Jessica Simpson has “finally grown into her body”

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The National Enquirer has a not-so-interesting piece about Jessica Simpson this week. Apparently, and at long last, Jessica has learned how to “embrace her curves”. Because that seems to be the euphemism everyone has agreed on for “Not knowing how to dress for your body type so you don’t look like a stuffed sausage.” Or, “not wearing the correct dress size.” Of course her unnamed friends have nothing but lovely things to say about Jessica’s “transformation” from “uncomfortable” big-boobed girl to a curvy phenom who will throw her boobs into whatever low-cut cocktail dress she can find. Yay?

Jessica Simpson is busting out with pride over her curves – she’s begun to wear red-hot outfits with plunging necklines for all of her outings, proving that she’s bounced back from the embarrassment of John Mayer’s “sexual napalm” boasting.

“Jessica used to be very self-conscious about her curves,” a pal told the Enquirer. “She occasionally wore low-cut tops, but she was never one for advertising her natural assets. In fact, she was downright uncomfortable.”

After John Mayer’s “sexual napalm” comments, Jessica initially claimed to be shamed by John’s crude remarks, saying “It’s more embarrassing, I’ll walk into a restaurant and I notice that more men are looking at me… undressing me.”

But she’s become proud to be well-endows. The insider says: “It took Jess a while, but she’s finally grown into her body. She feels empowered to walk into a crowd and fell all eyes on her. Her new attitude is, if you got it, flaunt it!”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition]

Um, did it ever occur to Jessica that maybe everyone is staring at her because they can’t get over how asinine her style choices are? I’m not even joking. Plus, how weird is it that Jessica is 29 years old and she’s only NOW “grown into her body”? Don’t get me wrong, I feel differently about my body now than when I was 19 years old too – and I had a much better body when I was 19, so I think a lot, “God, I really should have been happier with that.” But I didn’t really have much confidence in myself until my twenties, so I guess Jessica is the same way. I guess I found the wording strange – “she’s finally grown into her body” as a euphemism for “she now believes her boobs are her best feature, so she’s going to show them to everyone on the red carpet.”

Jessica Simpson Leaves the Airport

Jessica Simpson And BFF Ken Paves Take On NYC!

Vh1 Upfront 2010

Header photo: Jessica Simpson on April 12, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Posted in Body image, Boobs, Jessica Simpson

Written by Kaiser         22 Comments »
Apr 20
'10
Has Jessica Simpson gained some weight, or is it just her bad styling?

fp_4869472_simpson_jessica_ram_041910

I guess we’re not supposed to mention that Jessica Simpson is gaining weight. She’s not “fat” and I’m certainly not saying that all women have to be super-skinny, or that gaining some weight is a crime or anything like that. But Jessica herself has made talking about her body a national pastime, and she’s even promoted The Price of Beauty on the back of the hyper-criticism she received for those chili cook-off photos from last year. Of course, Jessica told Oprah those photos were after she had gained like five or ten pounds. So how much has she gained this go around? The styling never helps with her. That skirt should be dragged into the street and shot. The shirt makes her look like a linebacker. This is Jessica’s fundamental problem: she has literally no clue how to dress her figure, no matter what her weight is. She’s too dumb, I guess.

Speaking of laughing at how dumb Jessica is, Fox News Pop Tarts has an interesting piece up about whether we’re all cruel, heartless, misogynistic bitches for even paying attention to Jessica’s weight fluctuations. It’s an interesting read:

What is it about pop star Jessica Simpson that makes her the butt of so many jokes about weight and relationships? Last February, singer and reality star Jessica Simpson made headlines after debuting an apparently fuller-than-usual figure while performing at a country music chili cook-off. But 14 months later, why are her weight fluctuations and personal misfortunes continuing to be spotlighted and satirized?

Over recent months, it seems Simpson has been attacked from almost every angle. Last year, a cartoon skit which aired during Fox’s NFL Sunday showed Tony Romo’s teammates laughing at his former girlfriend’s “big” size, and rapper Eminem made a music video starring a “heavy” Simpson look-alike in her daisy dukes with a hamburger in hand.

Then, MTV cartoon “Popzilla” made fun of her “bad luck” while sitting in the bleachers at a Dallas Cowboys Football Game. Even President Obama dryly commented on Simpson being “in a weight battle, apparently” when it was pointed out that his family portrait was bumped from the cover of Us Weekly to make way for the songstress’s weight issues.

Fox’s “Glee” was the latest outlet to take a shot at Simpson in their premiere episode last week.

“Sometimes I wish I could be more like Coach Tanka,” Finn said in a voiceover. “He pulled a Jessica Simpson — you know, lost his fiancé, gained 40 pounds, stopped showering, and everyone acts like that is totally normal.”

Attacks such as these beg the question, why is everyone obsessed with attacking Jessica?
According to Dr. Dionne Bennett, a Women’s Studies Professor at Loyola Marymount University, these “jokes” aren’t just attacks on Jessica; they are attacks on all women.

“It is a way of telling us that even the most physically admired women will be the objects of ridicule if they gain weight or ‘lose’ their beauty. It is also a way of telling women that our looks are the only source of our value so that if our looks are diminished, our overall value is also diminished,” Bennett said. “The attacks are also engaging the idea that everybody has the right to look at, talk about, and judge women’s bodies, something we rarely do to men.”

Simpson’s weight fluctuations and lack of luck in the love department are certainly nothing abnormal for Hollywood, or for the average American. So is Simpson being unfairly targeted? Or is it simply that we notice her more?

“No one really cared [when actress Kirstie Alley gained weight] because she’s Kirstie Alley,” said New York-based PR and Social Media expert, Peter Shankman. “But when it’s Jessica Simpson, a young girl who’s gorgeous and is beautiful and all of sudden gained all this weight, it’s a different story. I guarantee you if Paris Hilton gained 50 pounds, it’d be the same thing.”

And while Simpson herself has managed to stay strong throughout this seemingly never-ending ordeal, she told Tarts she had to work hard to pull herself out from the “very dark place” that the sudden negative attention forced her into.

“It was really hard on me and I felt I needed to find some light in the very dark place I was in,” Simpson recently told Pop Tarts while discussing the inspiration behind her new VH1 reality show “Price of Beauty.”

“I realized that people’s judgments about me and about my weight are really just none of my business, it’s not something I should be listening to or taking to heart. People can say whatever they want to say and I cannot take it personally.”

A rep for Simpson declined comment for this article.

So seeing as Simpson chose a career in the spotlight and consciously put herself out there to be judged, does she bring this ridicule on herself?

“I cannot believe that she views any publicity as bad publicity. This is a woman who let her dad talk her into turning her new marriage in a reality television show, in effect dooming it from the start,” said Terri Dougherty, author of “People in the News – Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey.”

“Like a child constantly trying to get attention, her entire life seems to revolve around the phrase, ‘Look at me!’ so if her weight has turned into a punch line on a television show, I don’t see this hurting her or her career.”

And Simpson’s close friend, personal assistant and co-star in “Price of Beauty” Cacee Cobb believes this experience has had a positive effect on the pop star’s life.

“This show was really important to her to spread the word so girls don’t have to go through what she had just gone through the past year,” Cobb told Pop Tarts. “She was unfortunately under so much scrutiny, that if she could save one person from having to go through that… it was really amazing to be a part of such a moving mission.”

[From Fox News Pop Tarts]

Is this why no one is really talking about Jessica most recent weight gain? We all feel like we’re kicking a puppy by criticizing her? I’ll say the same thing I said about Mischa Barton - I don’t really care if Jessica or anyone else puts on some weight or whatever. What I think is fair game is a celebrity’s styling, their clothing, their hair, their makeup. And for that, Jessica almost always gets a big fat FAIL.

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Jessica in NY on April 19, 2010. Credit: RAM/Fame Pictures.

Posted in Fashion, Jessica Simpson, Weight gain

Written by Kaiser         53 Comments »
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