Nothing says romantic getaway quite like hearing your dad snoring in the next bedroom. Or worse, worrying about your parents hearing you while you’re going at it with your boyfriend. Gross, just gross. But apparently that’s how Jessica Simpson likes it. Or – more likely – how Joe Simpson likes it. Creepy-as-hell Papa Joe and his wife Tina joined Jessica and her boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, on vacation in Los Cabos, Mexico last week. No that’s not creepy or weird, because Joe and Tina did the same thing when Jessica was married to Nick Lachey. Who could predict that their marriage wouldn’t work out?

Looks like Tony Romo already has an in with Jessica Simpson’s notoriously finicky father, Joe. They all went on vacation together! Simpson and Romo, who have been dating since November, arrived in Mexico via private jet with about seven friends at 9:30 p.m. January 3. After landing at the Cabo San Lucas Mexico airport, Simpson and Romo were spotted, “rubbing each others butts and laughing on the tarmac,” an eyewitness tells Usmagazine.com.

Later, the group — which included a few of Romo’s teammates and families, as well as Simpson’s parents, Joe and Tina — checked into a rented home nearby. “Tony couldn’t stop touching Jessica,” an eyewitness tells Us.

The next day, everyone enjoyed a lunch whipped up by their personal chef on the deck of their home. “They were having a great time, with Jess’ parents laughing and joking with Jess and Tony,” the onlooker added. “Tony was affectionate to Jess and everyone seemed very relaxed.”

[From Us Weekly]

How cute. And creepy. What do you want to bet Papa Joe tutored Tony Romo on the best moves to use on his daughter? He probably encouraged all that butt grabbing. No way does anyone in that family do anything without Papa Joe’s approval. Nick Lachey had to submit a written intercourse request with Joe at least two weeks prior to any sexual encounter. It had to include a detailed plan of action and required script approval from Joe. Jokes aside, after this family vacation, what do you want to bet Tony dumps Jessica within the next two weeks?

This week’s Star Magazine has an interesting story about how Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo might be faking their relationship for the sake of an upcoming Super Bowl commercial. Jessica and Tony are said to be in talks with Pizza Hut to star in a big budget Super Bowl commercial together and their whole fauxmance has supposedly been orchestrated by Jessica’s controlling father, Joe, for publicity purposes. It could be true that they’re dating and genuinely like each other, but either way they’re milking it for all it’s worth:

Insiders are whispering that Jessica Simpson’s manager dad, Joe, is the mastermind behind his daughter’s “romance” with Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo - and their sudden, very public relationship may just be the setup for an attention-grabbing Super Bowl commercial!

“It seems that Joe set them up to make sure Jess got good publicity,” an insider tells Star. “She’s got a new country album coming out, but her movie career is stalled, so she’s doing what her dad tells her will be good for her image and to keep her name in the papers…”

[Jessica and Tony Romo are] reportedly in talks to Pizza Hut to do a special commercial that will air during the Super Bowl in February. And the insider tells Star that Joe Simpson even offered Tony, 27, a small role in his daughter’s next movie.

“He told Tony that it would be a good opportunity for both of them PR-wise,” says another source. “It isn’t hard for them to look like the perfect couple - they’re like a real life Ken and Barbie.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, January 7, 2007]

This makes a lot of sense considering that Tony Romo is one of the very few suitors of one of his daughters that Joe Simpson approves of. Joe is even said to have set Jessica up with Tony, and although the papers make it out like Tony called Joe up and asked to date his daughter I bet it was the other way around. It doesn’t seem like much of an incentive for Tony to be offered a role in Simpson’s next movie, though.

Jessica seemed to be a bad luck charm for Tony. The Dallas Cowboys quarterback performed his worse game - ever - when she was in the stands in December. That makes it seem as if he has at least some feelings for her. Romo quickly recovered from his slump, and his statistics improved for his next game. He told the press that Jessica was also in the stands that time, but she was never shown on the jumbotron and he wouldn’t say where she was when asked.

Prison Break star Lane Garrison is serving 40 months in prison for a drunken car crash in which a 17 year-old passenger in his car was killed. He plead guilty to felony vehicular manslaughter and DUI and could get out in a year and half on good behavior.

Jessica Simpson knows Garrison well and he is said to be like a brother to her. They are the same age and grew up near each other in Texas. Garrison even lived with Jessica’s family for a year when he was 17. Her father, Joe, was his minister and he was a troubled teen when he was sent to live with the Simpsons.

Jessica was said to be devastated when she learned that Garrison caused a car crash which resulted in a teen’s death. Her terrible performance at the Dolly Parton tribute at the Kennedy Center is rumored to be due to her heartache at learning of Garrison’s accident right before she went on stage.

Jessica has tried to make Garrison’s stay behind bars a little more bearable. She sent him 12 inch color TV to keep him company in the slammer. Former TV star Garrison is supposedly broke after lawyer’s fees and must have appreciated the gesture:

Christmas came early for former Prison Break star Lane Garrison - his good pal Jessica Simpson bought him a 12 inch color TV!… Permission to get a TV was granted to Lane, 27, for good behavior and Jessica… was happy to make is happen. “Lane’s broke,” his pal explains. “He didn’t have enough money to buy a TV, so Jessica was nice enough to send him one for the holidays.”

[From In Touch, print edition, January 7, 2008]

Doesn’t a 12 inch television sound small? Flat panels go for around $120 so Garrison must be really scrapped if he can’t afford one. Maybe Simpson thought that anything bigger than a 12 inch would have drawn attention to Garrison, or it’s possible he didn’t have permission to get a bigger TV.

After his drunk and drug-fueled accident Garrison recorded a tearful public service announcement to warn of the dangers of driving drunk, wrote a long letter to the court apologizing and taking responsibility for his actions, and personally apologized in court to the family of the 17 year-old teen who was killed in the accident he caused, Vahagn Setian. His sister also wrote a letter to the judge in which she described a very difficult childhood in which their father was either absent or abusive towards them. She said that her brother was “near suicidal” and “despondent” after the fatal car crash. Jail time is more than warranted in this case, but Garrison also seems genuinely affected and remorseful. He’ll have to live with his actions for the rest of his life.

Jessica Simpson’s new movie “Blonde Ambition” opened this past weekend, but if you missed it don’t worry. After a grossing less than $2,000 its opening weekend in limited release, the movie that co-stars Luke Wilson is slated for a DVD release at the end of January, according to Cinematical. Slashfilm is reporting that the film’s opening on Friday saw 48 paying customers for a gross of around $350.

Simpson’s film opened regionally around Texas but was not expected for any wider release. Slashfilm notes Simpson’s popularity in Texas has been waning because her new boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, has been playing terribly since he started dating the “Dukes of Hazzard” starlet. The quarterback’s blow-full performance has made Simpson persona-non-grata around Texas Stadium, perhaps contributing to the movie’s record-breaking poor performance.

Although Simpson’s first major role, as Daisy Duke in “The Dukes of Hazzard” was a mild box-office success, 2006’s “Employee of the Month” was a certified bomb. Cinematical is also reporting that the buzz on “Blonde Ambition” was so poor, studio execs considered a straight-to-DVD release, a decision they no doubtedly regret not making.

Story via DListed.

Update: Cara covered this same article, and she noted that Dallas was expected to easily win.

Here’s Cara’s take on it:
Jessica Simpson has officially earned the title of jinx. She has become the Yoko Ono of football thanks to a poor performance by Tony Romo during Sunday night’s game against the Eagles. I believe I saw this coming earlier when Tony dumped Carrie Underwood to focus on his game.

“Sadly, having Jess in the stands was not exactly good luck for Tony, who not only lost the game, but also had his worst day ever as a starting quarterback.”

[Ok Magazine]

She did her girlfriend duty by supporting her newly found man of the month. Jess watched the entire game with looks of distress at every dumped play. She even donned a pink #9 Cowboys jersey. But all the positive juju couldn’t stop Tony and his bruised thumb from loosing the game 10-6.

Dallas was expected to easily overtake Philadelphia. The Cowboys boast a 12-2 season while the Eagles are last in the NFC East with a 6-8 standing. The fans began pointing the finger at Tony’s lack of a touchdown (for the first time this season) at Jessica’s presence. Fans held up signs reading, “Tony, Dump Jessica and Marry Me!” Several members of the Cowboy crowd let Romo know their discontent by shouting, “Worry about the game and not your girlfriend!”

We will have to see if the force field of Jessica’s bosom can hold on to Tony. After getting rid of Carrie due to football, I am sure it is only a matter of time before Jess and her oblivious nature become baggage. As long as she doesn’t feed her football player fetish by latching on to any Chicago Bears, I am kosher.

---

Original article by Celebitchy: I don’t pretend to have more than a passing interest or basic understanding of football. And by passing interest I mean staring at the guys’ asses when a male family member forces me to watch the occasional game after a large meal. From what I understand they’re supposed to take the ball and run to the side that’s guarded by the opposite team. It’s vastly more complicated than that I know, but I’m not really that informed about it and reading the wikipedia explanation of the rules only made my eyes glass over.

But even I can grasp the sheer level of failure that Jessica Simpson inspired her new boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, to achieve. The guy played his worst game - ever - the first time Simpson was in attendance. The Cowboys lost to the Philadelphia Eagles 10-6 on Sunday, with Romo receiving the worst statistical rating of his career. Jessica was shown on the jumbotron with her trademark vacant expression and long curly extensions, doing her best to look interested while completely ruining her man’s concentration.

Wearing a pink Cowboys jersey (with Romo’s No. 9 on it) and mouthing his name, Jessica Simpson made a surprise appearance at Texas Stadium Sunday to watch her new Dallas Cowboys quarterback beau play the Philadelphia Eagles.

Not only did his team lose 10-6, the Associated Press reports, Romo’s quarterback rating of 22.2 was also the worst of his career. He completed 13 of 36 passes for 214 yards with no touchdowns and three interceptions.

Tim MacMahon, who blogs the Cowboys games for the Dallas Morning News, wrote, “No wonder Tony Romo hasn’t completed a pass. Jessica Simpson, wearing a white-and-pink Romo jersey, is sending him bad vibes from a luxury suite.

“Jessica Simpson owes it to her man to leave at halftime, although that would mean sacrificing valuable face time on national TV. Don’t count on it.”

[From US Weekly]

US also had the video below of Jess looking perplexed at the game. This week’s In Touch notes that Romo brought his parents to the airport to meet Jessica when she made a quick stop in Dallaswith her dad. Romo also spent Thanksgiving at Jessica’s family’s house and is said to be a favorite of her protective dad, Joe. He seems to be really into her if he’s introducing her to his family, but after she ruined his game how long is it going to last?

US Weekly mentions that Romo’s second worst performance ever was when his then-girlfriend Carrie Underwood attended one of his games. It seems like a curse for the quarterback. Maybe he just can’t concentrate when he knows that a girlfriend is watching him, and this could doom all his relationships. He probably values his multi-million dollar career more than any relationship, and is more likely to break up than jeopardize all he’s worked for. The best course of action for Romo would be to tell his next girlfriend to stay home. And I’m sorry to word it like it’s inevitable, but Jessica doesn’t exactly have the best track record with keeping a man, and Romo doesn’t seem the super loyal type.

Jessica Simpson is shown at the ACE awards on 11/5/07, thanks to PRPhotos.

Jessica Simpson’s career – and life in general – seem to be headed for the $4.99 bin at Walmart. While her younger sister Ashlee’s career has gone reasonably well in the last year, Jessica’s has tanked since she divorced Nick Lachey. To be fair, Ashlee’s career never hit the sane high point as Jessica’s, and she seems to have established a slightly lower profile, but more stable image. Instead of working her way out of her career slump, Jessica has been in a string of B, C, and now D movies. Her latest effort, “Blonde Ambition,” is an all-time low: the studio that made it has decided not to even waste anymore of their time and money by releasing the movie to theaters. Instead they’re saving themselves the embarrassment and making “Blonde Ambition” a straight-to-DVD release. So that pretty much puts it in the same ranks as ‘Honey I Blew Up the Kids,” and the even better ‘Honey We Shrunk Ourselves.” Congrats, Jessica, you are our generation’s Rick Moranis. It was only a matter of time.

Maybe Jessica Simpson should stick with reality television – her latest attempt at big screen success won’t even make it to the big screen. Blonde Ambition, as Us first reported in August, is going straight to DVD.

A January 22 release date has been confirmed for the romantic comedy costarring Luke Wilson. “The movie is absolutely horrible,” a source told Us in August. “It’s just a bomb, mainly because of Jessica’s acting.”

“It’s definitely a theatrical release,” Simpson’s rep insisted at the time. It’s now selling for less than retail.

[From Us]

It’s really unfair to do that to Luke Wilson’s career. You know he was only in your movie as a pity actor Jessica. I never thought I’d say this, but you should take a piece of advice from the Paris Hilton School of Celebrity. Some people are famous for their talent, some for their brains, and some for their bodies. And some are famous just for being famous. Your career was going best when you did a little bit of reality TV and made a lot of appearances at clubs and trendy restaurants. Your most valuable asset is your fame, not your talent. Work what you’ve got left.

Here’s the “Blonde Ambition” trailer. Viewer discretion is advised. Because it sucks.

In desperation to make it into the coveted pool of respected acting, Jessica Simpson is willing to strip. Instead of preparing for roles with acting classes and research the answer, to her, is in getting naked.

“Jessica is in the running for a role that, if she gets it, will put her right on the map in terms of acting. The only hitch is that the script requires a number of quite graphic scenes including a full-frontal nude scene. Jessica is so desperate to land the role and get the industry’s respect that she’s ready to go against her better judgement, and her family, by agreeing to bare all.”

[Entertainment Wise]

Every actor and actress strives for the Oscar. It is the epitome of an acting career and earns respect and recognition of talent. Jessica Simpson’s talent of being the token blond ditz is indeed natural, but hardly Oscar worthy. After struggling to make it into the music scene at the start of her career she hopped on to the reality train to catapult herself into the biz. Now she is desperate to break in to the reputable actress mold.

This is the second offer of cinematic success involving nudity. Earlier she was approached to do a film revolving around a porn star. An Oscar promise came along with the script. Creepy Papa Joe Simpson quickly put the kibosh on the idea and forced Jessica to pass. Instead of the possible statue worthy performance she has taken roles that cash in on her blond with big boobs and no brains staple. Her latest theatrical endeavor, “Blonde Ambition,” bombed in the box office. It was also labeled a disaster.

I hate to agree with Creepy Papa Joe on this one, but I do. Just because you are brave enough to go sans clothing for a role doesn’t mean you have talent. I say preach it Papa Joe. You could probably point an empty paper towel roll at her and make the rolling motion with your hand and Jess would think it was a camera and strip.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Jessica Simpson is shown filming the Walt Disney World Christmas Day Parade on 12/1/07, thanks to Splash News.

Ken Paves, the man responsible for the flowing fake locks of Jessica Simpson, Eva Longoria, and Lindsay Lohan, says that he has test subjects at home to try out his hair extensions, now available to the public through his Hairdo line. Paves claims his three Saluki dogs are perfect for trying out his hair and that they let him know if a piece is not worthy.

“I have three Salukis - Afton, Taj and Honorree,” he tells Life and Style. “The dogs test all my hairdo pieces first. That’s how they make it in the collection. The dogs love to play with the hairpieces and if they ignore one of them, I take it as a sign.”

[From Life & Style, print edition, December 17, 2007]

That makes so much sense. Dogs naturally know what kind of fake hair would best suit b and c-list celebrities. It’s surprising to me that Paves is making this trade secret known. All of his hair extension industry competitors are going to get dogs to try out their wigs and filler hair too.

Paves doesn’t have much to worry about. Simpson and Longoria are fiercely loyal to him, and are frequently seen out at events with him. Hairdresser BFFs can get away with almost anything, including an atrocious style now and then.

Here’s Paves advertising his hair line on HSN:

Jessica Simpson and Eva Longoria are shown out in June of last year in the inset image, which also features a photo of the Saluki breed from Canada’s Guide to Dogs. The other photos are from the Hairdo promo shoot in August of 2006.

I always thought those pictures of gorgeous women in newspapers, offering sexual services were fake. Honestly, you’d think a woman that good looking could at least strip, or find herself a sugar daddy, or work in retail, rather than sell her body.

Turns out I was right about the fake pics – Jessica Simpson and models Karolina Kurkova and Alessandra Ambrosio are being advertised in Russian newspapers.

In the naughty section of the Moscow Times are ads for escorts, complete with photos — of these three stars! According to the ad, Kurkova’s working name is Kristina, Ambrosio’s is Masha and both are available 24 hours a day.

TMZ

Check out the advertisements here.

Jessica might well be getting pimped out, as her father apparently set her up with Dallas Cowboys star Tony Romo.

“Jessica has been in Nashville and Dallas recording her new country album. When Tony found out, he called Joe and said, ‘I know she’s not dating anyone right now, can I take her out for a drink at least?’ Jessica said it was OK for Joe to give Tony her number and they hit it off. They’ve been dating for a couple of weeks now, and Jessica is so happy. She’s been texting everyone about how great he is,” the friend said, adding that Romo even joined the Simpsons in Waco, Texas, for Thanksgiving.

A rep for Simpson wouldn’t comment on her personal life but told Page Six, “She is happily recording her country album.”

Fox News

Yep, Joe is weird. Jess is strange. The mum seems a little pushy. Her sister has an odd nose. I really, really want to spend Christmas with that wacko family – it might make a nice change from my own eccentric relatives

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Jessica Simpson out for dinner in NYC on November 16th. Images thanks to Splash Photos.

Jessica Simpson is back with an old flame, quarterback Tony Romo. The Dallas Cowboys player is said to have gone home with her to Texas for Thanksgiving with her family.

It was the day after Thanksgiving – but Jessica Simpson’s family was more than happy to hold off their dinner so she could return home with her new boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo.

The couple showed up at Jessica’s grandparents new home in Waco, Texas, on November 23 (a day late, since Tony had a game to play on Thanksgiving) and received a “hero’s welcome” from Joe and Tina Simpson and Jessica’s grandparents, according to an onlooker. While Tony has denied reports that he and Jessica are dating, insiders say the pair are definitely involved – and they’re getting more serious.

[From In Touch Weekly]

Tony Romo was last linked to actress Sofia Bush from One Tree Hill after breaking off a relationship with singer Carrie Underwood. Jessica Simpson was said to be dating Owen Wilson after they were seen out together, but that seems to have been short-lived. Simpson and Tony Romo last rekindled their relationship over the summer. Maybe they’re like Paris and Stavros and just can’t get over each other.

Simpson is not as super-skinny as she was when she first lost weight, and now looks like she’s gained a healthy ten pounds. The tabloids are all over that, and chalk her minor weight gain up to recently firing her trainer, Harley Pasternak, who also works with her ex, John Mayer, and his new girlfriend, Minka Kelly. It was said to be awkward for Jessica.

Jessica has rehired trainer Mike Alexander, who helped her get in shape for her role as Daisy Duke in the Dukes of Hazzard.

When celebrities gain and lose weight, and gain and lose partners, it reminds us that the ups and downs in our lives and on our scales are pretty normal, too. And we can focus on them instead of paying attention to all the stress we deal with on an everyday basis. So thanks, Jessica Simpson, for having a rough time of it, but it seems like you’re coming out on top again, and those are the best stories of all.

Jessica Simpson is shown at the ACE awards on 11/5/07, thanks to PRPhotos. Tony Romo is shown at the Country Music Awards on 5/15/07, thanks to WENN.